I'm gonna pass out.
My lungs feel like they've been squeezed of all moisture and used as kindling. My legs feel like they've got sandbags the size of tractor tires attached at the ankle. My throat's so dry it feels like it's bleeding and I can taste metallic, dirt, sand, dust, salt, you name it.
This couldn't even be considered running anymore. This is more like a heroin addict trying to run in a straight line after shooting up—
"Ahhhhhh"
Screams and gunfire split the cold silence, automatically sending my mind into Defcon 1.
"Oh my God" Rick breathed.
I pulled the handgun I haven't had to use all day; finding a burst of sudden energy, I was able to run near top speed once again, towards the chilling sounds.
I ran over the hill and out of the forest, into the campground as lives depended on it.
I flicked the safety off at the same time I raised my gun, and started popping every walker in my immediate line of sight.
Oh God, they're everywhere.
Screams, gunfire, growls, blood. Lots of blood.
I can barely tell the walkers from our people but as far as I can tell, I haven't killed anyone alive yet.
"Make your way to the Winnebago!" Rick shouted over the gunfire, behind me.
I don't know if it was instinct, or because Rick mentioned it, but I glanced at the RV and it's a damn good thing I did.
A walker was coming up behind Lori up by the Winnebago.
"Lori! Get down!" The words barely left my lips before my gun was aimed at it and Lori dropped to the ground, taking Carl with her.
I fired my last round, hoping to whatever deity that'll listen, it's a clean shot and every nanosecond felt like an eternity. By the time the bullet pierced the walker right between the eyes, I felt like half my life had been lived.
The walker crumpled as I straightened, dropping my handgun in favor for the other one I've got but I wasn't fast enough, and too focused on the miracle shot I'd managed.
"Eve!"
I spun around and ducked, avoiding bloody grabbing hands. I hadn't even hit the ground yet before a shotgun blast took off 80% of the walker's head. It landed right in front of me, blood and brains draining onto the dirt.
An eerie silence followed the walkers death. Whether or not the silence was in my head, I don't know.
"You good?" Daryl appeared next to me, looking around for anymore threats.
It took me a moment to collect my thoughts and realize I hadn't answered. I finally nodded and carefully stood up.
The ground looks like some ancient battlefield. Corpses and blood covering every foot of visible ground for ten yards in every direction. Hell only knows how many bodies there are.
The tense, anxious atmosphere worsened as choked sobs and crying replaced the panic.
I glanced over my shoulder to figure out what was going on and in that moment, I almost wished I hadn't.
"Amy!" Andrea's broken hoarse voice called for the bloodied blonde college student lying on the ground.
"Amy!" She desperately shook her sister by the shoulders, to no avail.
"I remember my dream now. Why I dug the holes." Jim's voice barely registered in my mind. I didn't realize I was dropping until my knees hit the rough uneven ground. Even the sharp spikes of pain it sent shooting up my legs didn't shake my mind loose.
Turning, the gun in my waistband dislodged and hit the ground as I sat— fell down and held my face in my hands, resting my elbows on my knees.
...Why did we run?
We could've gotten back so much sooner if we'd only stuck around to find another vehicle. We could've saved them. Nobody had to die...
I've been sitting next to Andrea all night. She doesn't need to be alone right now— she shouldn't be. But she doesn't need somebody who's gonna pressure her for conversation either. Even with just their presence.
Lori came up and crouched down next to Andrea cautiously.
"Andrea"
"I'm so sorry." she moved to her knees. Oh, what are you doing Lori? This isn't gonna go well.
"She's gone. You gotta let us...take her."
Andrea didn't move. Not so much as a flinch, or an incline of her head.
"We all cared about her and I promise we'll be as, as gentle as we can." Lori leaned closer to her, but didn't try to touch her.
No response.
Lori looked at me and I shook my head, tilting my head as indication she should go.
She pressed her lips in a tight line and stood, gently placing a sympathetic, non-threatening hand on Andrea's shoulder before she went back over to the campfire the others were sat at.
Less than five minutes later, I saw Rick coming up on her other side.
"Andrea"
I blinked and Andrea had her gun on Rick; cocked and aimed at his head.
"I know how the safety works."
My hand was already on my knife, out of instinct, and I looked at Rick. Questioning whether or not he needs me to disarm her.
"Alright. Okay." Rick tentatively began to back away, his hand outstretched the same way I've seen him do when dealing with dangerous, unpredictable people.
"I'm sorry."
Andrea kept her piece trained as he backed away.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" when Rick was a good 6 paces back, she lowered her weapon, slowly turning back to Amy's body.
"You can go help the others." Andrea finally acknowledged my presence. I sat there regarding her warily, until she looked at me.
"It's fine, really. They could use your help."
I stared in silence for another few seconds before nodding, and stood.
I brushed some dirt off my pants and set my hand on her shoulder; showing my sympathy. I honestly didn't expect her to pull her gun but I don't think she'd have shot him. Someone else...maybe, but not Rick.
I lingered a moment before letting my hand slide away, and went to help the others dealing with the bodies.
I came up behind Jim and just before I was about to tap him, Jacqui all but yelled, "A walker got him, a walker bit Jim!"
Everyone gathered quick. Too quickly for my liking. There's no chance of dealing with this rationally now. Fear will take over, followed by panic— even hysteria if it gets far enough.
"Show it to us." Daryl demanded, pickaxe laying over his shoulder.
Jim obviously doesn't know I'm here as he almost backed into me but I side-stepped, avoiding him.
He grabbed a shovel and within seconds there were so many different people calling orders I couldn't distinguish any except Daryl's.
"Grab him!"
I grabbed Jim's arm, snatching the shovel before he hurts someone while T-Dog came up next to me and restrained him. Daryl appeared in front, and lifted Jim's shirt to reveal a clear bite over his lower ribs.
"I'm okay. I'm okay." Jim repeated, sounding like he's trying to convince himself more than anyone.
T-Dog let him go and everyone except me backed away as if they'd turn if he so much as breathed on them.
Rick came over, only having to glance around before he looked at me.
"Eve, guard Jim." he whispered and I nodded.
Motioning for Jim to follow me, I took him over by the RV while everyone else gathered by the fire.
I suspect they're deciding what to do about him...probably Amy as well.
"I'm okay." Jim said again.
I put my hand on his shoulder, waiting until he looked up at me. My intent is to reassure him that at least in my eyes, he hasn't changed but I honestly don't know how much or what got through.
I don't ever know for sure if people really get what I try to convey, but I suppose it's better if they use their imagination. I don't need to say anything, they're capable of using my actions and interpreting the meaning they want—or need.
It's like that saying. People will forget what you did, they will forget what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
"Somebody needs to have some balls and take care of this damn problem!"
I turned and Daryl was coming towards us with a pickaxe ready to swing.
"Hey, ey, ey!" Shane called
I moved in front of Jim just as Rick aimed his gun at Daryl's head, cocking it.
That's twice now and they've known each other what? Two days?
"We don't kill the living." Rick stated. Daryl was almost glaring in my direction but I know he's not glaring at me— he better not be.
He turned, slowly lowered the pickaxe to face Rick. Shane stepped in front of me like my presence between Jim and Daryl wasn't enough to stop him.
"That's funny. Coming from a man who just put a gun to my head."
"We may disagree on some things. Not on this. You put it down. Go on."
Daryl reluctantly slammed the pickaxe into the ground and stormed off, while I glared at the back of Shane's head.
"Come with me" Rick took Jim's arm
"Where are you taking me?"
"Somewhere safe" Rick took Jim into the RV for better protection and I was left standing here, alone.
I guess, I'll go find something to do. Camp's getting a little stuffy, anyway. And not to be rude but it smells like an FBI body farm. That's what happens when you have over a dozen decomposing bodies in the same area.
Ultimately, I decided to go down to the quarry and wash the blood off my skin. The water's cold but it feels nice. Especially on my sore muscles. My legs felt like lead all night, at least now they're just sore.
The marathon from Atlanta, out here was a bit much. Even if I am physically fit, and a decent runner.
I jumped out of my skin when a gunshot echoed from the top of the cliff.
I ran back up the path as fast as I could, fearing the worst.
When I got back to camp, nothing looked different to me but everyone was looking at Andrea; still sitting with Amy. Only a big hole had replaced a part of Amy's skull.