Silens Umbra

Co-Authored by Bms111

— O —

2–4–11, Fri. PRTHQ, Colin's lab. Morning.

I woke up slowly, hesitantly, the exhaustion from the previous day seeping into my bones and leaving me weary even after getting some rest. I didn't have a headache, for which I was grateful, but I still wanted to sleep some more even if only to recharge my perpetually spent batteries a little.

I tried to go back to the land of nothingness, but the pangs of hunger stabbing my stomach were making themselves known in the most obnoxious way possible, to which I groaned in frustration and rolled around the ceiling.

I looked around me, the workshop dead silent now that Colin was sleeping in the adjacent room, the door closed and no light at all coming from the slit at the bottom. I sighed, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand and then letting my arm fall limply at my side. My gaze slid towards the monitor, and after a moment of hesitation, I spoke in a barely intelligible mumble. "Umh, Dragon?"

Apparently, she heard me perfectly. The lights of the workshop slowly arose in intensity, leaving everything bathed not in almost complete darkness as it had been before, but in a pleasant penumbra that didn't hurt my eyes. The screen flared to life for a moment, Dragon setting the brightness at a lower level than normal after a fraction of a second. Her avatar smiled at me, waving a hand. "How did you sleep Taylor?"

I closed my eyes, leaning back and stretching, my back and arms popping, my legs as well after a moment. My second skin followed suit, more spines of bone emerging, shivering, and then disappearing once again. I flopped bonelessly, now a little more relaxed. I went to speak, a small yawn cutting me off before I could commence. "G–oo od," I managed to say at the end, my mouth clicking shut seconds after.

"M'hungry," I murmured, feeling the biological call to stuff my face with something tasty but none of the will necessary to get down and start the little trek to the cafeteria.

On one hand, the more I procrastinated the more people there would be, and on the other, I really didn't want to move right now.

Dragon laughed softly, and I opened an eye. She had one hand covering her mouth but I could still see the corners clearly turned upwards, eyes crinkled in mirth. "Well, right now there aren't many people moving about. If you're quick, you can grab a bite and come back to sleep. Does that sound good?"

I hummed, conflicted. Should I go, or should I wait for Colin to wake up so I could ask him to get me something? Well, I didn't want to rely on him so much, not with everything he was already doing for me, keeping me here and giving me a space for myself.

I nodded at Dragon, and lowered myself to the floor, my bare feet touching the floor for but a moment before I let out a yelp, more arms growing out and hefting me. The floor was cold. Why had I tried to follow what Militia said, anyway? It was my power, not hers.

I still didn't like walking on the floor, the pervasive feeling of insecurity pushing the tips of my teeth out of my second skin only to sink back later. I approached the door, intent on getting in and out as quickly as possible when I remembered that I didn't know the code for today. I could barely do more than look at one of the monitors before the door clicked open, the hiss of compressed air a sound that these days I found strangely familiar.

I could barely turn to one of the monitors, intent on thanking Dragon when I felt the change in pressure in the skin of my neck and hands, a drone hovering near me, the same one that had accompanied Colin and me to the power testing yesterday. "You are, are you coming–?" I exhaled, exasperated. Then spoke once again, slowly. Dragon said nothing the entire time, just listening. I appreciated that. "You're coming with me?"

The drone bobbed up and down, with a smiling Dragon smack dab in the middle of the screen. "I am. Colin isn't available right now, and I know that at these hours there are more people than you're comfortable about, so this way at least you know that you're not alone." She frowned for a fraction of a second, then resumed smiling. I didn't know what that was about, and Dragon didn't mention it, so I didn't either.

I walked with my power, ignoring completely what Militia had said yesterday. I didn't like walking on my own, so I didn't, and I liked moving like this, smooth and graceful, so I did, the tapping sound of my power's digits on the floor lulling me into a sense of semi tranquility. I liked the pattern of sound it made, tiktiktaptiktip, again, again, and again. It was predictable, comfortable, and soothing.

We passed a room that had a door with a lot of glass in the middle, Dragon's drone hovering behind me, and I couldn't help but run my finger across the material, and promptly yelp when I felt how sharp it was. I hadn't cut myself or even scratched my skin, but the sensation my brain received over doing that, was something I didn't like at all.

"Taylor?" Rang Dragon's voice behind me, her drone moving to the front and turning to look at me. "What happened?"

I gestured at the door we were leaving behind, sucking on the finger I'd used. "I don't… glass. Feels…" I paused to open the door to the stairs to the next floor, thinking. "Bad." That was the most accurate and the most vague description I could've given. Good job, Taylor.

Dragon bobbed, and she hummed, apparently in thought. "And how did that doorknob feel? The one at the stairs."

I stopped, and turned at her. "I, don't remember? I mean, I wasn't, well, paying attention, it just felt… uhm, corrugated?" Something like that.

She bobbed again, and I resumed my walk. "So it seems like you have to focus on something to pull all the sensation, yes?" At my nod, she continued. "Is that why clothes are uncomfortable for you? They draw your attention to them, and you start feeling them more and more the more uncomfortable they are?"

I paused once again, not having noticed that I was scratching my head with one of my non-human hands. They felt quite good, and reached the nice little spots without problem.

"I think so? They just… keep feeling bad, and then worse, and – well. Yeah."

"Thought so," the Tinker murmured to herself, then fell silent, the silent humm of displaced air her drone made, making my skin tingle a little and telling me more or less where it was – in this case, just above my right shoulder. We reached the cafeterias doors without much preamble, and in the way I couldn't resist feeling once again some spots that I've taken the routine to touch when I was passing through here in my midnight escapades. A piece of metal in the ceiling, the ceramic of a potted plant, a spot near the corner where the paint was slightly faded… the routine, the rote of it, helped me maintain my calm and keep my teeth down when we approached the double doors where some noise was already pushing through the metal.

I felt myself taking a deep breath, and despite my best efforts the tips of my teeth were starting to come out, the collar around my neck showing just the hints of the facemask of bone I usually made. My back was starting to come alive with more spines than teeth too, some of them running up and down my actual spine.

My power usually took shape after the piece of clothing I was most comfortable with, in this case, a 'hoodie'. Hoodie whose hood's edges were starting to come alive with little spikes of bone.

After a moment's hesitation I pulled it up, covering more of my face without having to pull my second skin itself over my face and making it look like my head was just a giant maw. For me, it was only a layer more of separation and security that left me feeling just a bit better.

One last look at Dragon for reassurance gave me the confidence I needed to grip the handle, pulling open the door.

I reeled back a step from the noise, the cacophony not as loud as it had been when Colin and I had come yesterday, but much too loud for my senses still. I could feel the noise almost as a physical weight that left my ears feeling funny, and I didn't like it.

Some of the voices near the door died down, and I pulled my power closer to the edges of my vision. I didn't want to see anyone at the moment, I was here for my food, and nothing else.

Skittering closer to the buffet, I looked over the usual selection, and heard more voices quieting until there was almost complete silence. Not the one I liked, like when Colin was busy working and everything was as it should be. No, this was the silence where the air was tense and everyone acted like a bomb was walking through. I hated it.

I was looking intently at the buffet, trying to focus my mind only on what I should grab and not on how the people behind and around me were starting to talk once again, but not out loud – whispers and breathed words, mumbles and grumbles tinged with what I could identify as irritation. I grabbed whatever looked good at the moment, shoved it down into a paper bag and scuttled to the door, keeping close to the wall and not looking up at all. The only thing that made me maintain a semblance of calm and not push my teeth higher was that I could still feel Dragon's drone behind me. My skin still crawled by what I knew were stares planted firmly in the back of my head, and I had to force down a hiss. One borne out of fear or the promise of aggression I could feel in the air, I didn't know.

As I walked to the door, I still felt the eyes of every person in the room upon me. Hunched over, instincts from Winslow came back to the fore, telling me to make myself a smaller target. Stupid. Stupid stupid. This was a terrible idea. This was an awful idea and I needed to get back to the corner, my corner, back through the door, back t–

With an "oof!" I was struck by the exit door out of the cafeteria as it swung open, sending me back a few steps. I didn't stumble, my power catching me in the nick of time, but this time I couldn't suppress the yelp of surprise fleeing my lips. Before I knew it, I was bunched up on the wall, teeth breaking my skin in a shivering, fanning display, my eyes snapping upwards and taking in the helmet of Greek design pointed in my direction.

"Taylor?" I heard Dragon's voice, her drone moving in front of me between who I think I recognized as Dauntless and me. It gave me something else to focus on other than him, something familiar. I tried to talk, but I still felt all the looks firmly locked in my direction, a knot twisting itself in my throat until I could barely get out a wheezed word that I barely understood. "Out."

A voice interrupted, male and deep but not cold. "There's a quiet place near here. It's usually empty, green, and even has some bit of sky so you don't feel trapped here. Want to see it?"

I looked at Dragon, and her avatar glanced at something out of sight, then at me. "Colin is out on patrol right now, the garden is completely empty at the moment and it's a lot closer than Colin's lab. Would you like to go?"

I shot a wary look at Dragon, who smiled at me. "I'll stay right with you."

At that my gaze slid towards Dauntless, still skittish, but the stares and the rising whispers scattered around the large and otherwise silent room were starting to grind into my psyche, too close to Winslow, too close to old memories and wounds that hadn't closed, had not even started to do so – they had just been pushed out of sight. They hurt less that way.

Dauntless held the door for me until it was clear that I wasn't going to get closer to him than I absolutely had to. Surprisingly, he catched on remarkably quickly and started walking in front of me, openly giving me his back. The people in the cafeteria faded into background noise I could barely perceive once the door closed with a clang that had me wincing and rubbing my ears, the sound echoing slightly between my skull. Dragon made a thoughtful noise at that, but didn't comment.

The soothing rhythm of my claws tapping on the floor bled some of my tension off at the same time that I noticed Dauntless's shoulders hunching on minutely before they came down once again. The tiktiktap tapping pulled me into my other routine, touching some of the spots I marked as interesting when I had explored some of the halls in the middle of the night. I saw Dauntless slowing down his pace each time I deviated slightly, but he continued to guide me without a word. I still wanted to jump to the ceiling and move from there, the urge to put some distance between me and everything else still everpresent.

We kept walking, but my hands stopped propelling me when we reached an intersection I hadn't ever been in. It felt – was – unfamiliar. I had no marked spots here, no little paths that were familiar only to me that helped me navigate everything in a way that made sense. My shoulders hunched and my teeth grew out, this time completing the facemask that it was so fond of forming. My eyes flitted from place to place constantly, looking for familiar spots that I could touch and center myself to, but they were simply not there.

We had stopped now, both of the others paying attention to my growing distress in the form of shivering ivory and hands that covered me in a macabre hug. I expected Dauntless ready his weapons, or tense for an attack, or assume that I was being aggressive, so I didn't bother looking at him. I hadn't wanted to see the hard stares of the troopers in the hall, and I didn't want to see his now, I was sure that it would be the same as with Militia. My eyes were firmly glued to the floor, human hands clenching and unclenching, inhuman ones tapping on the floor constantly and trying to give me back a semblance of normalcy.

"Taylor." A noise from my side, above my shoulder. "Here."

I saw the drone position itself in front of me, dipping ever so slightly so the screen was level with my eyes, Dragon's avatar looking at me with what I could identify as concern. Her voice blared from the speakers, the volume always just right to not make me wince and at the same time making herself perfectly understandable. "Do you want to hold onto me?"

I didn't even think about it, I just nodded. The drone came closer, and I took it into my arms, the purring of the levitation system growing quiet when it shut down. I started to run my fingertips across the casing, forming a pattern in my head. Ridge, bump, line, spiral, edge of the screen, another ridge, speaker, repeat. I did it two more times before burning the pattern into my head, and then and only then did I start to walk again, even if reluctantly.

I didn't pay attention to anything else, Dragons avatar staying with me all the time while I used her drone to help me deal with the unfamiliarity of everything around me. I was still kind of surprised about how, normal, Dauntless seemed… and how he hadn't made a single snide remark about my power. About how it was gross, or weird, or strange, or how I should 'stop using it to walk'.

Yes, I still that womanresent her. I'm spiteful like that.

I didn't give it much thought, though, content to just keep touching Dragon and lose myself in the feeling the alloys of the drone gave me. Tinkertech was always pretty to the touch.

I would have to go exploring the rest of the hallways, rooms, and anything else in general later if I didn't want to have to hold onto her drone all the time. Which… didn't exactly sound like a bad idea, at least not at the moment. I liked the feeling of hugging it, like a stuffed animal that could actually talk with me – or for me, if I was feeling anxious. I pressed the drone tighter against me, and Dragon's smile widened just a bit.

Dauntless stopped just before a glass door that I eyed warily, the experience of running my fingertip across a pane of glass just about twenty minutes ago was still fresh in my mind, and I was not eager to go through that again. Dauntless pushed in and opened the door more than necessary before advancing towards the table that I could see bolted to the floor. One of my vantablack hands pushed the door for me while I passed through quickly, giving the glass a wide berth. Even if I couldn't feel it through my power, I still didn't like it.

I scanned the place, the drone still held tightly to my chest. It was… it wasn't as if I had suddenly found Disneyland reborn, but it wasn't bad, per se. Perhaps a bit on the smaller side, around ten by ten meters. It had some bushes to the side, a single table where Dauntless was already sitting, some benches around that same table, a small, peeling tree, and another door at the back of the small garden. I could see ashtrays both in this entrance and in the one at the end, summed up by how some parts at the edges appeared to be overgrown, and it was clear that this was a place made to rest five minutes and nothing more.

I approached the tree, freezing when my claws sunk into soft earth. I looked downwards, flexing and tensing my fingers and seeing how they didn't tap sharply. It was a surprise that in hindsight I should have expected, but I hadn't. Clutching the drone tighter to my chest, I glided to the tree, climbing up without preamble. The taktaptaktap of my claws on the wood brought me a measure of peace, once again resuming the pattern I had taken to when I walked, only this time on wood instead of linoleum. The sounds had changed, but I paid attention to the pattern. The pattern stayed the same.

Dauntless looked in my direction, elbows propped up on the wood of the table and none of his famous items visible except for his boots and armor, and I think that he could just fly with them. Still, I didn't know him, didn't know how to talk to him or what to say, so I didn't. I busied myself by listening to the sounds of the Bay that reached us from the open ceiling.

"Rough week?" A voice spoke, and I had to take a moment to recognize it as Dauntless. My eyes fell on him and I felt myself hunching down, hands that were a moment ago running through the fascinating lines, creases and crevices of the thin bark stopping cold. Did I have to answer? I didn't want to, I had come here for the promise of solace and a place to eat in peace, not suffering another verbal onslaught from the likes of Assault or Militia or the director. My lips pressed themselves into a thin line at the thought. Honestly, I wasn't sure why I even followed him here. There had probably been a silent alarm back there that they used to summon him, for him to arrive when he did. Here he was, acting the hero, luring the beast away from the people so the abomination would be contained and slain in this quiet solitude. So he could be his own Percius, returning with the head of the Gorgon, to finish his Greek getup.

"Do you want me to talk to him while you eat?" Dragon whispered to me. I looked at her screen, and I caught a small smile she threw my way. Well, if I could trust someone to at least warn Colin if Dauntless decided to act on his ancient hero impulses and strike me down where I stood, sat, hung, whatever, it would be her. Plus, she was offering me a way of evading socializing with… an unknown. I appreciated it.

I set her drone on my lap, screen facing the hero. My normal hands were still running through the drone, a trio of pitch black graspers clutching the bag and taking the food inside, dismantling it with pinpoint accuracy in the small chunks I liked with the efficiency and quickness that my own meaty ones lacked. I'd like to think that Colin would have been proud, if not interested.

"It has certainly been busy for all of us, yes." Dragon's voice was the same as ever, if only a notch or two higher.

Dauntless hummed. "I knew that Armsmaster had taken the new Ward under his wing, but nothing more than that and some rumors floating around. This is the first time we have met. I go by Dauntless, out there."

He took off his helmet and I sucked in a breath between my actual teeth, before seeing that he had a domino mask beneath it, one that covered a fair bit of his upper face, now that I saw it. I didn't answer, somewhat confident in the fact that Dragon would carry the conversation for me. If I was lucky, I wouldn't have to say a word. Besides, I was munching on some more chicken, and, between that and the tapping pattern I was playing on the tree, was too busy savoring it to let myself get worked up any more.

"She still doesn't have a Cape persona," Dragon answered, and that reminded me that I had a PR meeting scheduled for today, making me shiver. I hoped that what Militia had said had been just petty lies, but somehow I doubted it. "But she will have one by the end of the day."

Dauntless winced, and shot me a sympathetic look before switching to Dragon. "Has she thought of anything yet?"

No, I hadn't. "Perhaps, but I don't think it'll be a problem with me there."

I couldn't see his eyebrows rise, but he leaned backwards a bit. "Well, I sure hope not. They can be kind of," he grimaced, "vicious." He took a breath, the air out here definitely better than inside – except in Colin's lab. There it always was comfortably warm in a way that made my skin tingle and my eyelids drop down on their own.

He leaned back down a little more, and I kept munching and tapping, now trying to keep the rhythm between five hands at the same time. It was fun, if difficult.

He hummed. "It's been a long time since the last time I've seen you, Dragon." He chuckled. "Well, not really, but it has been some time since we last talked. I didn't know you were babysitting–"

Before I could start to bristle, Dauntless corrected himself with a click of his tongue, his hands shooting up minutely, palms forward. "Wrong word. I was just thinking of my own kid, and given that he's so young," he shrugged, his tone apologetic, then looked at me. "Sorry."

I relaxed against my power, and slackened my grip on the tree, having left minute indentations where my digits had sunk in. I definitely didn't like at all the thought of being led around without any kind of freedom, like a babysitter implied. In fact, I hated it.

The only thing I hated more was the memory of what Assault had called it yesterday.

Warden. As if I were a thing to be contained, corralled, and boxed into a neat little cell. Something to be placated. Something that they hoped never realized was being constrained to a gilded, padded tomb.

"Taylor?" I heard the drone rumble under my fingers, and only now I did notice that my teeth were out in force, slithering and shivering against the void over my skin, growing and coming back down like a nightmarish, amorphous maw.

"Just…," I murmured, curling further in my hammock, my knees up to my chest. I didn't even try to get my spines back down. "Thinking."

Both Dragon and Dauntless fell silent, and I was starting to get worried about him. I didn't like to talk to people I didn't know at the best of times, and I absolutely didn't want to talk about what I was thinking at that moment.

"So," started Dragon. "How's Addison?"

Thank you, Dragon. You're a Saint.

"Well, he caught a cold the other day, jumping in puddles when he really shouldn't," he chuckled fondly, and I felt a small pang of envy in my chest. The feeling grew and grew, as he kept talking about his kid, a warm expression on his face and a loving lilt to his voice. It was a feeling that was warm, and hollow, and a little sick all at once.

I… wanted someone to talk about me that way, and I'd had someone like that, in the past. Not anymore. I don't even have ashes to remember them by.

I snorted. Well, I used to have things to remember them by.

But now those things were nothing but ash.

I crack myself up sometimes, but I don't think Dragon would appreciate my newfound sense of humour.

I came back to earth while almost completely submerged in my cocoon, the only things out were my head, fingertips, and Dragon's drone. I didn't move nor did I make an effort to get out. It was comfortable here, and I liked the feeling of weightlessness.

"...ell, now that you mention it Kelly is doing nicely. Last I heard she got herself an apartment in the cushy part of the city, and was dealing with everything pretty well if I recall." He hummed for a second, but didn't look at me. His conversation with Dragon should have been very interesting if he had her engaged constantly. I only had seen Colin talk to her in a quiet but never-ending stream of technobabble that honestly lulled me to sleep more often than not, so I didn't have much of a frame of reference, if any at all. Even then, I wanted to get back to my corner. I was starting to feel tired, and whatever good mood I had was declining downwards by the second.

I zoned out again, coming back to that same tone of voice again, maybe a minute or ten afterwards. "Maybe I could talk to Colin? Offer some help? Some advice, I mean."

"Well," Dragon's tone sounded indecise, but then solidified after a moment. "Yes, I think that he would appreciate it. I would, too, since I'm involved pretty heavily."

What were they talking about? Some kind of experiment? If it involved Colin and Dragon it had to be a spectacular one, but why Dauntless too?

Well, I wasn't going to bash my head against something I couldn't understand without context, so I didn't try.

"Well, I have to get back to work. Lovely chat with you, Dragon. Give my regards to Armsmaster, too."

At that, he turned to look at me, a smile playing on his lips. "I would like talking with you some more at another time, if you want to. I usually visit here when I have some time but definitely not enough for anything serious. You're an interesting person." He smiled at me.

I, what? But I hadn't said anything! I just sat here and checked out half the time while he was talking to Dragon!

I was too busy gaping to notice that he had left already, my mouth clicking shut. Well, I wouldn't be mad if this was how all conversations with people I didn't know went on from now on, just them talking and me listening. Sometimes. From time to time. When I was feeling like it.

"Taylor?" Dragon snapped me again from my own thoughts, like the lifesaver she was. "We have that PR meeting in fifteen minutes. We should get going, don't you think?"

Oh. That. I, didn't really know how to feel about it, but I think the ball of dread materializing inside my chest was a pretty good indicator.

"I…" I sighed, getting down from my tree. "Do I have to? I don't… is it going to be like the, uhm, testing?" I really, really had hated that.

Dragon smiled, a wide, warm thing. "Don't worry, I'll be there with you every step of the way."

I felt a small smile tugging at my lips and a warm, nice feeling moving around my chest. I grabbed her drone and hugged it, slowly running my fingers through it.

"Thank you," I murmured, as we set out. I tried to make my way with the directions she have while my fingers traced the 'ridge, bump, line, spiral, edge of the screen, another ridge, speaker, repeat' loop, trusting her to give me directions as I walked just short of blindly through the halls, focusing on the feeling beneath my fingers, the sounds of her voice, and the tiktiptiktip of my feet on the tile.