Jellal POV:
It's dark again.
And quiet?
What is this place?
Fish. Lots of fish! Some I know of what these subspecies are, but where did they come from here?
It looks like ... the Depths of the Sea. Yes! It has to be the Sea, and even the Ocean.
I don't know why ... I like it all.
I hold him in my hands. Our skin color turned blue.
We both shine ...
We both have our hair up ...
White constellation patterns visible on both faces ...
Both calm ...
Siegrain remains silent, or refrains from crying, looking at me with a bitter look.
I don't ask him anything, I don't want it anymore. I feel bad after he wanted to hurt himself.
I pull the last stalk out from under his rib. There is no blood, but it has left a permanent mark.
Emptiness in the heart ...
Siegrain asks "Why did I go to this? Why did I choose to save him?" It's easy. He is a part of me, not just a shield or the one who carried my sins on his shoulders. We learned from each other.
We were able to pass on most of the information non-verbally.
It turned out ... Why did Siegrain take his revenge and lie so: My childhood tainted both of us, but his more. Besides, he couldn't always withstand the pressure of pretending on the Magic Council. Yes ... He was reading archival documents. My family was under surveillance. It was secretly checked whether we had any contacts with the Witches.
He betrayed me for two reasons: Apparently he wanted to save me from a greater tragedy, so I had to forget about my younger sister, and out of anger, he wanted to play with my life.
It was simply an act of rebellion out of Segrain's desperation.
He didn't quite understand my plan; he twisted it into his own way and dragged Ultear into a trap. I didn't know that also me ...
Because I sent him there ...
He had enough.
He hated me in silence ...
I enslaved him emotionally. So he transformed two of my worst memories of life into a sick game.
Should I blame him? Not.
This fault lies in the middle ... where is stood ... Father's alcohol.
Siegrain was my "tormentor" because Armand was his. My Father of the Seven Sorrows.
Now it's too late to apologize ...
It's also not the time for a new set of tears ...
We have to come up with a common plan to always make a final deal.
Siegrain is telling me to watch all of this around us. This is the world as seen through his eyes. He has his own fantasies and imaginations.
He himself also suffers from mental and physical illnesses.
Yes. There may be such a thing!
Siegrain is human, so he has the right to say that he is tired of something.
He begins to hug me as if he is actually treating me like a brother. Even though I am not, there is not even any kind of friendship between us. Nothing is trying to do anything wrong, he bites his lips to keep from crying. It's hard for me to say how old Siegrain really is.
He may look like me when I was 18-19, but mentally what is the truth?
Perhaps I won't find out anymore.
"...Let's do it."
" What? "
" Did you not understand my words? "
"Siegrain, you are whispering, so how was I supposed to understand?"
" ...Hmm. Ok. My point was to make a change."
" Sounds suspicious. "
" This time you can trust me! Everything has been cleared up."
"So...What are you planning?"
" Unity. You and me."
" One body?"
" Yes. One life...One Full System."
" It's kind of dangerous."
" The more dangerous thing is that your old brain injury has come back. It made you blind."
" What?!...No!"
" I'm so sorry. Therefore, I suggest to you that we should not break away from each other and be a community of this body ... I will not interfere in your marriage or anything."
" ...Well...I agree."
" I don't want to be your enemy. I've made mistakes ... I want to fix it."
" What about Er ...?"
"...Shhhh. Don't worry about it."
" May she understand that."
"...Get ready. It will look a bit like an organ transplant. Only without the use of anesthesia."
" Wait...You didn't say anything about the pain!"
" ...Whoops."
" Siegrain! "
" Calm down! It only takes a moment. You will not be afraid later!"
"...GHHHHH...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."
" One body ... One brain ... One sight ... One blood ... One soul ... One Life! "
" SIEGRAAAAAIIINNN ! "
...
Erza POV:
" Thank you so much for letting me confess."
" You're welcome, Mrs. Erza. I'm always there to help you."
Leaving the office of the woman who is my Psychologist, I felt a bit of relief.
For 13 days, Jellal has been in a coma. Fortunately, he survived this operation.
He is so young yet.
That stroke could really have killed him! I couldn't accept that ... I've lost him too many times. I don't want more.
Christmas is coming, me in his old coat. It still smells like him and soothes me.
There was also Christmas then. I was playing stupidly with my friends. I walked out naked ... I was ashamed when Jellal saw me in such an irrational action.
He wasn't judging me.
Instead, he gave me this coat, offering to escort me to the dormitory.
He did nothing wrong. I drank the tea he had prepared.
Later he wanted to leave, but I let him stay overnight. He blushed, thinking it was embarrassing, because he still remembered the incident at the pool.
He lay down next to me, watching if I was falling asleep calmly, I preferred him to hug me and fall asleep himself. He surrounded me with loving care. That night ... I already knew. I knew I love him.
Jellal... If I could send a card to Santa Claus, I wish you would wake up. I don't want any gifts. I just want you back ... I want to hear your voice again ... And hold me to your heart! I just want you to be! Nothing more! I just want to live with you! Get married and be happy ... I just want you to live! ...Calm down. Don't cry ... Wipe those tears away! You're strong girl! Fight! You are Titania Erza Scarlet. Jellal wouldn't want to see you cry! Get a grip! Go to him! Fight! Be with him ... Be for him! "
...
I came to the hospital, the ward where he is. Seeing a few doctors arguing in the nursing station, I wondered what might have happened.
They spoke extremely strange.
Double brainwave readings turned into one huge reading? What the fuck is going on here? I couldn't figure it out.
Trying to connect a sequence...Double brainwave. One belongs to Jellal and the other to Siegrain. That's how it was explained to me once, but still don't understand the "combination of readings"
Without listening to these medical conversations, I went to Jellal's room.
Connected to all those tubes and machines, a drip stuck into his arm, making an ugly bruise.
" My future husband ... So sore. It's so hard for me to look at it."
I need to be strong and patient.
I have to believe that everything will be back to normal.
"...Sca...Rlet?..."
" O...Je ..Siegrain? "
"...Fuck...This body is not in good condition yet."
" Where's Jellal ?! ... You didn't hurt him, did you ?! "
" ...Please don't scream. He's alive ... He only rests after connected."
" Connection? So the doctors talked about it. "
" ...Heh. Already professors in white coats are speculating. How I fucking love it."
" Don't mock it. "
" Sorry...For that lie, also apologize to you. Jellal ... He would never hurt you that way."
"Hmm...I see. "
" However, you must know one thing. Me and Jellal became one body. The last time you theoretically see Me, later Jellal will be on His own."
" What do you want to explain to me about this?"
" You can push thousands of psychotropics to Jellal and send him to thousands of tests or therapies, but you all will never cure him of it ... It's too late for that."
" So what? Will he suffer forever?"
" No. He's just gonna live with it normally ... by your side."
"...Ummmm..."
" Do not worry. This is not what some idiots think. There is no love triangle and there will be no one here. You don't have to worry about sleeping with two guys at the same time. "
" Relieved. I guess..."
" Don't romanticize and sexualize it. Neither you nor those medical ignoramuses. They are supposed to be trying to help Us, but they don't really know anything about it. They only guess and have no idea how much We are in this suffering!"
" Can I... help you somehow?"
" You, first of all, Dear Scarlet, help yourself. If you don't help yourself, you won't be able to help Jellal."
"...Thanks for the advice, Siegrain."
" You've always been a wise woman. That's why I respect you."
" Do you need something?"
" No. You know what ... You better go home. Take a shower, make yourself some coffee, get some sleep. Don't worry about Jellal. You will come tomorrow, so you will be like those fucking Little Love Parrots again."
" Ok. So...Thank you once again, Siegrain. Good bye."
" Same. Thank you for accepting us, Scarlet. Bye..."
Closing the door behind me, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.
" He fell asleep ... They both fell asleep ..."
The End.
A/N: No more such heavy chapters! Believe me, I was in pain as well as all of them. From now on, Jellal will go much better.
* Chapter 19, reveals that Jellal will receive a new diagnosis.
For this he was really blind. The old brain trauma from hitting the back of the head with a stick when he was kidnapped showed up years later. Ethernano's influence has also done its job, and Jellal suffers from something else as well. However, this does not remove him from family life.
* I decided to put in italics all the situations going on in Jellal's mind. It was also the world of Siegrain's mind.
* Siegrain "demonized" himself to appear in front of everyone as authentically as possible. He's pretty damn intelligent, which is why Jellal gets caught in his traps.
* In fact, Siegrain made very good arrangements for Jellal to "meet" his father. It was revenge. Siegrain has his illnesses under the influence of a euphoric state, he assumed the role of Trauma Holder for Jellal's childhood.
* Jellal's clothes from years ago were symbolic. The phases he mentioned are the Psychological Scheme of the House of Violence. If you've experienced something like this in your life, or your friend or partner ... Don't wait. Call for help. Maybe you save someone's life. No fun here.
* The only thing I'm really happy about here ... are these sceneries. It looked really beautiful in my sick imagination. Especially white lilies, which are a symbol of innocence and purity of the soul.
By the way ... I'd rather not say what Siegrain wanted to do to himself, but if he did ... Jellal would feel it physically. Thanks to the connection, Jellal will at least be able to wear glasses.
* The situation from Erza's description took place in OVA number 9.
* What Siegrain said to Erza, unfortunately, it's true. Nobody understands it but themselves. Jellal and Siegrain just have a clue of what shit they're in. Doctors are doing their best, trying to help, but they literally won't get into Jellal's head.
* Siegrain's age is unknown, but when he appeared: It was March, the year Jellal turned 13. Hence the fish in Inner World.
Let me also say that Siegrain has an Aromantic Sexual Orientation.
That's all...uffff...Now let's enjoy the better times ahead for Jellal. In the next chapter, he will get back half of what he lost the year before.
Take Care Of Yourself and regardless of gender, don't be ashamed of your feelings.
I wish you the best in your life
WistieTheJellyFox.