I sat on the porch steps, staring at the dirt on my hands. The little bits of red mixed and congealing over previously almost healed cuts.

My sore throat stretched with every breath; hoarse. Not that you could tell.

The skin under my eyes tight, pulling every blink. My face is probably still red, but I've been sitting in the sun. Hopefully it'll be mistaken for a sunburn if anyone sees.

I don't think I've ever cried like that for someone. Not even myself.

...Never again.

Never again will I allow myself to be distracted from watching, never again will I second guess my instinct. Never again will my safety come before theirs.

The time for tears is over.

I scrubbed a hand over my face, taking a deep breath.

I jerked as smashing glass crashed inside the house.

In less than a second, I was on my feet running through the front door, knives in hand.

I ran through to the kitchen, finding Glenn and Maggie crouched on the floor beside Beth. Broken dishes scattered across the wood floor around them.

"Beth!" Maggie shook her sister. "Beth, what's wrong!?"

Her sister didn't respond, her eyes didn't even move; honestly she looks like an actor on TV whose just "died".

"We need to find my dad" Maggie looked at me.

I nodded and ran for the hall.

Glenn's footsteps followed me, taking the hallway, shouting. "Hershel!"

I grabbed the railing of the staircase as I swung around to the front of it, taking the steps two at a time until I reached the top.

I searched every room on the upper floor, to no avail, before running back down the stairs; jumping the last four steps.

Glenn almost ran straight into me coming back from down the hall.

I stopped last second, jerking back at the same time Glenn turned his shoulders, to avoid each other as I let him run past and out the front door, briefly shouting, "I'll go get help!"

I rushed back to the kitchen where Maggie was on her knees beside her sister.

I took a quick breath, and moved forward. I doubt Maggie's capable of deadlifting her sister off the floor.

I motioned for her to move before grabbing Beth's hands and pulled until the girl was in an upright position.

I braced her torso on my shoulder, ducking my head underneath her arm, before pulling and leaning back onto my heels at the same time.

Maggie's hands came around her sister, helping me lift as I braced my hands on the floor and stood up.

I groaned getting to my full height, before wrapping my arms around the girl's legs, while most of her bodyweight sat over my shoulder.

"Her bedroom?" I turned to look at Maggie, around Beth; being careful not to knock her dangling head on anything.

"Uh— this way." Maggie came around in front of me, and I followed her through the house. The wood floors creaking under my & Beth's weight, which made a strange uncomfortable feeling blossom in my gut.

Glenn came back as soon as I laid Beth down, and stepped aside to let Maggie be by her side.

"I couldn't find Hershel" Glenn panted out of breath, eyes frantic as he looked at me.

"What's happening to her?" Maggie looked to me as well and in that moment, all I could see were two scared kids. I forget sometimes how much younger than me these two are. They haven't been adults for nearly as long as they seem.

I set my hand on Maggie's shoulder; using my other with a flat palm, motioning down.

She needs to calm down, for Beth's sake. Running around like headless chickens will do more harm than good.

I motioned for the two of them to stay here, as I went out the door on the opposite side of the room.

Two doors to your bedroom would get annoying but right now, it works out better for us.

I ran outta the house, looking for Rick, or Daryl, or even Shane but Lori coming towards the house from the path that leads down to the barn, caught my attention first.

I shoved my fingers in my mouth and a loud whistle pierced the air.

Lori's eyes snapped to me in a blink, and I whipped my hand in a 'come' motion so hard I heard my wrist crack.

I turned back to the house as soon as she started running, and held the door open.

I spotted Rick and Shane, running out of the treeline from the camp as Lori hit the steps.

They must've heard the whistle.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Lori panted, following me through the house as I lead her to Beth's room.

As soon as we reached the door, Maggie looked at Lori and the words tumbled out of her mouth. "What's wrong with her?"

Lori looked at Beth on the bed, and after a few shocked seconds, spoke with remarkable composure in her voice; despite how hard she's still breathing. And the internal panic I know she's having because of how tense she is, next to me. "She might be in shock. Where's hershel?"

"We can't find him anywhere." Glenn answered from where he was leaned against the wall on the other side of the room, arms crossed over his chest.

Good, he seems to have calmed down quite a bit. That'll be good for Maggie's composure too.

"What's goin' on?" I looked over my shoulder at Rick and Shane.

I turned towards them, and Lori came around me from the doorway.

"Beth collapsed, and we can't Hershel." Lori stepped back from the door, like she was trying not to let Maggie and Glenn hear her, though the door is wide open.

Rick and Shane looked at each other before walking down the hall.

I followed after them, Lori, Maggie, and Glenn all on my trail a moment later.

"Your stepmother's things?" Rick shifted stuff around in a cardboard box sitting on Hershel's bed.

Half the room is packed up, all women's things. Dresses, clothes, perfume, shoes, everything except pictures.

"He was so sure she'd recover." Maggie leaned against the dresser on the other side of the bed from me, putting her fingers in her pockets. "They'd just pick up where they left off."

"Looks like he found an old friend." Shane tossed something to Rick, from where he was leaning on a larger dresser on the other side of the room from me.

Rick caught it, easily; turning the old flask over in his hand.

It's time like these when I'm reminded Rick & Shane were cops— partners, before all this.

"That belonged to my grandfather. Gave it to dad when he died." Maggie took it from Rick, looking at it as if she was surprised to see it. But clearly she's seen it before.

"I didn't take Hershel for a drinker." Rick glanced at me, from my place leaning against the doorframe.

"No, he gave it up on the day I was born. He didn't even allow liquor in the house." Maggie went back to the nightstand/dresser, leaning back again. The flask still in hand.

Oh I know that face, Officer. That's your thinkin' face.

"What's the bar in town?" Rick moved around the bed and I moved farther into the room, to stand at the foot; closer to Lori who was sat in a chair just underneath the window across from the door.

"Hatlin's." Maggie answered. "He practically lived there in his drinkin' days."

"Bettin' that's where I'll find him." Rick muttered absently, glancing at Shane.

"Yeah I've seen the place. I'll take you." Glenn moved from Maggie's side in front of the walk-in closet door, towards Rick.

"All right. I'll get the truck." Rick waved as he moved for the door.

"N— no." Maggie stopped Glenn with a hand on his arm.

"It's an easy run." Glenn's voice was laced with confusion as he stared at the brunette; Sparing a glance at both me and Rick, as if we'd have an answer as to why his girlfriend would object.

"Like the pharmacy?" Maggie asked.

Pharmacy? What happened with a pharmacy? What is she talking about?

"Hey, Maggie?" Rick got her attention, and smiled like the reassuring police officer I'm positive he once was. "I'll bring 'im back."

Rick left the room just before Glenn began whispering to her, "Maggie, that was different."

Lori followed him out immediately, and I watched Shane as he moved from his side of the room to go as well, until all three of them were out in the hallway, already arguing.

At least Glenn and Maggie are trying to keep it between them with low voices.

Great. I'm caught between two couple's arguments. One of which is a back-assward love-triangle I don't even wanna know about. It pains me to even know that I out of everyone in the group and beyond, have probably known about it the longest.

I sighed, rubbing my fingers over my eyeridges; not listening to the argument happening right in front of me.

It's something about nearly getting killed, but 'abortion pills' was what caught my attention.

I snapped my fingers, and walked around the bed; catching their attention.

I gave a quizzical 'explain' look, and Glenn looked at Maggie, uncomfortable. But I know that face.

You have the worst poker face imaginable, Ace. What are you hiding?

You will tell me, but later. Right now, the priority is Beth. We've gotta find Santa— I mean Hershel.

I clapped my hand on Maggie's shoulder, looking her in the eyes. "He will be back. I'll make sure of it."

Maggie stared back, searching my eyes. Her gaze directed down at my hand. My other hand. The one I put between the teeth of her step-mother's corpse and his leg.

I watched her throat constrict as she swallowed before glancing at Glenn and however reluctantly, finally nodded.

I gave her a solid nod and looked at Glenn, jerking my head towards the door.

I went out first, letting him hang back a bit to talk to his girl; even though they are following me out of the room.

Heading out front and down the porch steps, Rick's already got the red truck with the bed cover, pulled up and ready to go; Standing beside the open driver's side door, and counting the bullets in his hand for his python.

Rick looked up at me as I approached, taking out my own piece to check it over.

I don't use it often, but I keep it clean, nonetheless.

"Why'd you do it?"

I looked at Rick, confused. Well that was outta the blue.

"You had a knife in your hand. You could'a killed that walker easy. Why'd you stick your arm in the way?"

Oh.

I tucked my gun into my wasitband again.

I know why I did it. I know it was an irrational move but, "Wasn't thinking about it."

Rick gave me a weird look, like he was trying to associate a word with something that just didn't fit, and I sighed.

"I wasn't gonna let him get bit. Truth be told, if it were a choice between me, and anyone else here" I looked at him. "There is no choice."

"You're prepared to do that?" He turned his shoulders, fully facing me; stowing his trusted weapon in the familiar holster attached to his thigh.

"In a heartbeat. No matter how many times I have to make it, I will always make the same decision."

Rick's lips parted like he was gonna say something but nothing came out. He just continued to stare at me.

"It's odd. I've never had anyone I was willing to die for, before. I've taken a hit for a lot of people, but die?"

I glanced towards the house where Glenn and Maggie were just coming down the porch steps and stopped and the bottom to say something to each other again.

"...I should probably be worried about how easy that sounds, now." I could feel Rick's gaze on me but I didn't glance back until Glenn was headed towards us.

"You ready?" Rick asked, turning to Glenn.

"Yeah" Glenn looked at us but the way he shifted his eyes away makes my spidey sense tingle. Like before, about him hiding something.

He looks a little...dare I say, spooked.

I got in the backseat, as I was already on this side of the car, and Glenn was headed towards the other side. Besides, I kinda like the back better. I don't know why.