Yeah so I'm on a roll today. This chapters about 2-300 words shy of 3,000...
Enjoy!
I caught up to Rick and Hershel heading towards the house; Andrea not far from them, as T-Dog drove the truck up to the house.
I can see Carl on the porch from here, looking at his shoes and honestly, he looks scared. I don't think he and Dale were very close but, to see someone you know ripped open like that…
It's gotta be worse for him than the rest of us. I don't think Carl's even killed a walker, much less a person before.
This is the world we live in now. No shelters, no looking away, no kid gloves, no protection aside from the spaces we clear and actively keep that way, ourselves.
I think I'm gonna ask Rick & Lori's permission to teach him. I can't stomach the thought that last night could have been any one of us. We thought this place was safe, so we let people wander freely but… what if it had been Carl wandering in that field?
We could have been digging a much smaller grave this morning. It could have been him, could have been my dumb ass laying in the field, Daryl in the shed with Randall; Anybody in camp or outside who looked the wrong way, at the wrong moment.
It helps no one if even one person alive today, doesn't know how to take care of themselves. At the very least in an emergency.
Carl already knows how to use a gun, but he's small. That can either be a death sentence, or an advantage.
He's just a kid but most walkers are full sized adults. If they get ahold of him... there's very little a boy his size could do, to get them off. It would be better for him if a gun isn't his only protection. I wanna teach him how to be fast, unnoticed. And how to break free from a grip.
It might be selfish but I'll feel better knowing he can at the very least get away, should something happen.
I've been thinking about teaching him all kinds of things in passing for a while now, but this morning during the funeral... it hit me. How defenseless he really is. How defenseless most of the group is.
I can only name a few who I know can handle themselves in an up close and personal fight without a gun.
I shouldn't be able to name anyone who can't.
Daryl's loud motorcycle passed me and I almost jumped finding Andrea on my right. I didn't even notice she was catching up to me a second ago.
The sunlight shifted around her blonde hair every step; lighting the side of her face, and casting shadows over her brown jacket, the fluffy white underside bouncing soft light onto the underside of her face.
She's been attacked at least twice that I recall and couldn't defend herself. I opened my mouth, taking a breath to speak before Rick's voice behind us pulled both our attentions.
"Andrea, Eve."
Both of us turned, pausing our steps to let Rick and Hershel catch up.
"When I'm out with Daryl, help Hershel keep an eye on things around here." Rick glanced at Andrea.
I nodded, catching exactly what he means by that. He's nervous about leaving Shane to reign while they're out. There are only so many people here who can deal with Shane, and two of the small number are gonna be gone for the better part of a day.
I'll be the only person here who can deal with Shane. Not for lack of capability, but because I don't look to him for direction like the others. Neither does Daryl, but we both respect Rick. Which is why he's going with Rick and I'm not.
"Me?" Andrea continued her pace beside Rick, while I matched their pace next to Hershel.
"Shane's got a way of letting things get out of hand," Rick paused. "especially when he's all torqued up."
"I think we're all a little bit torqued up at this point." If I didn't know better, I'd think she was dissing him just then.
"If you're staying here permanently," Hershel interjected. "he's got to understand that it's what Rick & I say, not whatever he wants."
"You've become close." Care to share what you mean by that, Rick?
Andrea stopped, cocking her hip and staring at him in a more or less justified pinched scowl. "We talk."
"Then you know he's not a bad guy," Are we still talkin' about the same Shane? "he's just his own worst enemy."
Andrea looked between them, incredulously. "You want me to babysit Shane?"
"I need to make sure every time I leave the farm, all Hell doesn't break loose." Rick stepped closer to her.
Wow a near simultaneous bullshit cut. We really are getting our shit together.
"Then maybe you should stop leaving." Andrea fired back. Ooof, ouch. Hitting where it hurts, aren't ya?
Seriously though, you've gotta know that's not always gonna be possible, right?
If we can't function in the absence of a single person, then we're doomed from the start.
Andrea started away, leaving the three of us standing here.
"Will you keep an eye on things?" Rick called after her.
"Of course" She makes it sound like he should've known she would, despite arguing against him just now.
Rick glanced at us two, and I gave my best 'no idea' face, shrugging and shaking my head. I honest to god never understand what's going through that woman's head.
I started off again, the other two following me in silence but for once since we've been on this property, it's not tense.
This is no longer a circus; no more elephants in the room.
I'm glad Rick reconsidered killing the boy.
We talked about it a little last night, just the four of us on the RV. I know my wanting to spare the kid is… a bit irrational.
It was out of character, which I suspect is why they brought it up last night in the first place, but it seems my reason was misunderstood.
Yes, I do see certain similarities between his situation and one I've been in myself, but that's not why I want him to live. It's more risky to keep him alive.
I kinda… want to remind the group why we don't kill people just for the heck of it. It's kind of a dick move but I was using the kid to fight Shane's way of thinking.
That killing everyone we come across is the way to go. That's a good way to make enemies in a world where we can't afford to get on people's bad sides.
Walkers are one thing, but people seek revenge. And there's no way to know if someone's out for you now until they've already found you.
If I hadn't allowed my emotions to get involved, maybe that would've gotten across a lot better, and maybe we could have avoided the landfill we dug up in reaching this decision.
Maybe Dale wouldn't a been in that field.
I walked over to Daryl, cleaning his crossbow by his bike near the porch and held my fist up to Carl leaning over the railing just above us.
Carl fist bumped me, but with a worrisome lack of enthusiasm before he went inside.
"Daryl, Eve," Rick motioned us over as he moved away from the porch. We off to the side with him, sharing a look between us. "Think you can do something about the rafters in the shed?"
"Why?" Daryl voiced my confusion.
"Carl got in through 'em a while ago." He what!?
"If he can get in," Rick didn't even finish the sentence before Daryl & I both nodded.
Daryl pat his arm, a way of saying 'we'll take care of it' already heading off, and I followed without prompt.
"Thank you." Rick gave a grateful nod, and I waved my hand in acknowledgment.
What was Carl doing, going in there? Was Randall in there when he did? Why didn't I hear about this?
"You grab the tools, I got the wood."
I nodded and split off from Daryl to jog over to the truck back in front of the porch, and grab that toolbox we were using this morning.
It should already have nails in it but I'll double check for the sake of not having to make a return trip.
Looks like the others have already started clearing it. Should Lori be doing that though? Aren't you supposed to like, chill while you're pregnant?
"Whoa. Don't— don't strain yourself." T-Dog came outta the house fast, taking a heavy blue bin from Lori at the side of the truck.
"Thank you." Lori softly pat him on the shoulder, with a grateful smile.
"Rick and Carl and I are taking the corner of the living room."
I smiled at Lori as she looked back over. I swear I wasn't trying to scare her but she still jumped when she saw me.
My face squished into a sheepish grimace, kinda glancing at her tummy as I stopped around the back of the bed.
She waved me off. "You're fine, I'm just a bit… jumpy, after last night."
I glanced at my feet, nodding before refocusing on my task.
We didn't take the toolbox out of here as far as I know, so unless someone moved it, it's gotta be somewhere under all this.
"You can put that in my room." Hershel opened the screen door for T-Dog.
"You'll be more comfortable there." He came down the porch steps to the truck.
"We can't do that." Lori shook her head.
"A pregnant woman and child sleeping on the floor while I've got a bed to myself?" I kinda thought they would take that spare room but I guess that's kinda turned into a… hospital room of sorts.
Unless that's not a spare room and everyone getting hurt just kinda took over it. Were we kicking someone out of their room all this time?
"This is still your house." Lori argued weakly, but she sounds exhausted. She needs to sit down for awhile.
We can't sleep on the floor forever though. It'll get freezing over the winter.
Speaking of which, we need more blankets too, and a bunch of other stuff. Maybe we should look for some clean mattresses to bring in. I gotta make a list to give to Rick so he can organize a run. He mentioned no one should be leaving the property without notice anymore. And I gotta say, I agree. It got us into a lot of trouble before.
"It's our home."
I froze. My hand stopping short of the box I was just about to grab.
Home...
'Welcome to your new home, Evelyn. These are your sisters.'
"I'll take the couch downstairs." Hershel smiled at her. "On nights when I came home reeking of bourbon, my wife would lock the bedroom door."
T-Dog came back out and came around the truck, grabbing another box.
"Ey,"
I snapped my eyes over to T-Dog, backpedalling from him.
"You ok?" his eyebrows twitched down, looking at me.
My lips parted but all I did was nod and look back towards the piles of stuff, swallowing.
I can feel his eyes on me as I shifted another box, still not finding what I'm after.
"Sad to say that couch and I became old friends." Hershel finished his story as T-Dog moved around him.
"If you two can't decide, I'll take it." T hoisted another box onto the one he already had.
Lori smiled, and I stood there uncomfortably, trying (and failing) not to chew my lips.
"...Ya mind grabbing the door for me?" T looked at me. Thank Merlin, he isn't gonna press.
I nodded and moved around the other two.
"Thank you." Lori pat Hershel's arm and I moved to lunge up the steps almost the second T-Dog started walking, and grabbed the door for him.
"The couch is mine." Hershel called after us, even though T's barely halfway up the steps, ten feet from him.
"It's gonna get real cozy real fast in here." T muttered and I snorted, nodding. A truer statement has never been spoken.
I pointed away from the house as I pat his shoulder and he nodded. "Later. Oh hey— before ya go."
I stopped, one foot on a higher step than the other, and looked back over my shoulder. "Rick told me to tell ya, you got first watch tonight."
I gave a brief nod with a thumbs up before going back to the truck and finding that kit in a hurry, before hauling this heavyass toolbox out to the shed.
I don't know why just the mention of that word makes me so… restless. Makes my legs burn to run, but it just… I don't have the best associations with 'home'.
It makes me anxious. Like I gotta stay alert.
I hope to Merlin my 'spot' inside the house is by a wall. Close to, or in view of the door, would be ideal.
I looked around when I got to the shed, but Daryl isn't here yet. And for some reason that made it a little harder to breathe. The toolbox began to rattle a little bit and I looked down, noticing my hands starting to shake.
Oh no. No no no no no— I dropped the toolbox, looking around, to maybe see if he was just around the corner but he's not here.
I grabbed my hand, feet carrying me into the openness of the field, and I spun around, looking for anything that could be near me.
Breathe, Eve. Breathe.
I forced a shaking breath in through my nose, letting it out of my mouth.
Again.
In… out.
Check. Nothing around me. Again. In… out.
My nose burned a little from the dry air, my tongue darted over my drying lips. My chest constricted, strangling my windpipe. The wind chilled the already cold sweat breaking out on my neck and forehead.
Check. Nothing's ther— Daryl.
My eyes fixed on the side of the house where the blue eyed man was stacking up some boards, before bracing them over his shoulder and heading this way.
The tension in my shoulders dropped a little but only to migrate my legs, moving forward without my permission.
Walking didn't cut it, my heart hammered against my already painful chest and I was running before even realizing it.
Daryl dropped the wood as I got closer, looking between me and the shed. "What happened?"
I stopped in front of him, looking around again. I can't stop myself. "No—nothing"
Daryl looked me over and growled, "Bullshit"
Daryl's POV
"Ur havin' an attack, aren't ya?" I watched her mouth open but nothing came out except shaking panicked breaths and her eyes darted wildly.
Crap, what did Hershel do— what he say to do when this happens?
'Don't touch 'er unless she says so. Help her focus on 'er breathin'.'
"Daryl," Eve grabbed at her chest, her eyes —like her skin— turning a stinging angry red with unshed tears.
"Ey, look at me." I tried to say it as calm as I could, tryna copy how Hershel was before when he helped 'er. Chaotic amber eyes fixed on mine as I put my hand up, but not touching her.
"Breathe. Come on, you know how to do this."
Eve forced a tight breath through 'er nose, almost sounding like she's sniffling as it caught in her throat. She coughed, but did it again even though she was looking around again.
"Yer gon' be fine," I tried to bring her attention back and it worked, but her fingers wrapped around my hovering wrist, her own landing in my palm.
"Breathe." Her eyes fixed on my chest, and her breaths started to slow down, become more spread out. Just like last time we did this; Trying to match her breathing to mine.
Her hand has got a death grip on my wrist, but she's still looking around.
What the Hell happened? She just went to get a toolbox and was s'posed to head to the shed. Then she comes tearin' towards me outta nowhere, havin' a goddamn panic attack.