I rubbed my forehead, waves of exhaustion hitting me again like bricks being stacked on my shoulders. Enough someone could probably build a house around me.
Thinking that far ahead isn't a good idea. It gives you unrealistic views and hopes of the future. Which could get us killed. It's good to have a goal like that to work towards but we need to focus on what comes next right now.
"That's not important right now." I looked at Rick specifically. "We need to focus on our immediate concerns: Food, water, warmth, shelter. Everything else can— needs to be sidelined for a later discussion." I emphasized for the sake of our pressing concerns that seem to be going to ignored for the sake of yet another pointless group fight.
Rick nodded, the group finally refocusing and taking a much needed but stale breath.
"We'll make camp tonight. Over there." Rick pointed through a sparser section of the trees, at a little space of brown-greyish cobblestone stone walls. "Get on the road at the break of day."
There's no telling what it could've been, before. A house or some kind most likely, but there's stuff like that all over the East Coast. Old and pulling over from another century.
Most of the group stepped forward to get a look at where Rick's pointing.
I breathed out, specifically watching my breath. It's starting to turn white. It could snow any day now.
"Does this feel right to you?" Carol drew my and Daryl's attention, even Glenn paused to glance at her as he walked past behind me.
"Right now we need to rest. That's as good a place to start as any." I answered.
"Damn you get chatty when yer dead on yer feet." Daryl mumbled, picking up his crossbow off the back of the bike and checking it over.
I shrugged, not even bothering with a comeback. My only goal right now, is to go back to sleep — without worrying the group's gonna rip each other a new one the second I'm not looking. So whatever gets me there, hallelujah.
Beyond tonight though, we need to think about where to find gas around here. And where the Hell we even are — I still have no idea which direction we went, what road this is, how long we've been driving, where to even start looking for places to replace all the supplies we lost, what supplies we did manage to save, the list goes on and on.
I wanna bang my head against a rock, or lie down on this street and just knock out for a few hours.
I'm too tired for this. But someone's gotta think about it and clearly no one else is in a state to.
Why's it always me? Why am I always the one focused on swingin' the bat instead of trying to predict where the ducking ball is gonna fly.
Whatever, they can think about what's happened. I'm gonna focus on us not dying at the moment, while they process the events of today.
This is what you get for not paying attention.
I blew my hair out of my face, knowing if I try to reach my hand up right now, I am gonna wanna kill myself for it.
I smacked my lips, feeling the sandpaper muscle in my mouth try to shred the roof of my sore mouth.
Water. That's our next quest.
Gas is a tomorrow problem.
We need to take stock of what supplies we've got left, and what was grabbed from the house before we all split.
Warmth is next. We need to get started on setting a camp for the night before the temperature drops too low and we lose the light. Which is fading fast.
I estimate... we got about a half hour. Maybe less.
"I hate to be that guy, but what if more walkers come through?" Randall hesitated to open his mouth but somebody's gotta ask. I nearly jumped, forgetting he's right behind me.
Just to be safe from another surprise, I looked around taking note of where everyone is.
"Or another group like Randalls." Beth went up to Rick, worry and skepticism practically engraved on her face like a stone tapestry.
Randall shifted, subtly moving behind Daryl & I, almost hiding behind us.
I guess he's still uncomfortable with the mention of his old affiliations.
I don't blame the kid. I've shielded him from the group before. Daryl and Glenn have too. It makes sense why he'd feel safest smack bang in the center of the three of us.
But as far as I'm concerned, those past ties are exactly that. In the past.
He's got nowhere else but stay with us now. And he's proved himself, to me at the very least. It would've been all too easy for him to let me die, but he didn't.
"You know Randall didn't try to escape, right?" Glenn suddenly brought up. Bringing Rick's attention to our little cluster over here by the guard rail.
"Shane tried to kill both of them." Glenn motioned at me, and the kid.
That got Rick's attention but judging from the look on his face, it doesn't surprise him.
Speaking of which, I can't help but notice that particular officer isn't here. Neither is Andrea.
Did they not get out?
My throat closed a little; surprising me.
I was gonna kill Shane myself, and Andrea & I didn't see eye to eye most often but,... I feel strangely... disheartened? Sad?
In Andrea's case it's understandable. I didn't like the woman on a personal level, doesn't mean I wanted her dead. But for Shane?
The Shane I knew — the one I counted on and maybe even thought of as a friend, died a long time ago.
I shouldn't be feelin' sad for someone who tried to kill me. I don't.
I just… am bitter that it came to this. Cause there was a time I wouldn't have even thought Shane capable of something like that.
"Speaking of which, you never told us what happened out there." T-Dog looked between us all.
I looked at Randall, and he looked at me like 'should I tell them or should you?'.
I sighed, turning back to face to the group.
"I was comin' back from checking the river and heard voices."
"Of course you went to check it out." Glenn nodded like he doesn't need any further explanation — he probably doesn't actually. He and Daryl both, just judging by their faces, know exactly what I did next.
"He didn't try to bullshit you?" Rick looked a little skeptical.
I deadpanned at him and Daryl scoffed next to me.
"Bullshit Eve? You'd have better luck tryna convince the wind to stop blowin'."
Ooo that was a good one. I nodded in approval, giving him a thumbs up.
"When we found 'em there was a walker from Randall's group on the ground. He'd turned, but he wadn't bit." Daryl shook his head, staring at Rick for answers.
"How's that possible?" Beth pressed for answers.
"Rick, what the Hell happened?" Lori added even more pressure.
Rick looked at me. The weariness in his eyes more prominent than I've ever seen in any except my own; a looong time ago.
His gaze went to my head, exactly where my head is pounding the hardest and most sensitively, glancing down to my ribcage where one of my hands is crossed over, delicately cradling the side that's making it hardest for me to breathe.
"Secrets are like poison, Rick." His eyes moved back up to mine. "The longer you hold onto it, the worse it'll be."
The moment he sighed, looking down at his boots, I know he gave in.
A gruff, tired and guilt-ridden voice came through his lips, and plunged the hair raising quiet of the woods into deafening silence.
"We're all infected."
…
Oh fu—
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