Daryl followed me out but as I detoured up the stairs, grabbing the rail and taking the steps two at a time, he continued to the living room. Probably to get his share of breakfast, I haven't seen him eat yet.

I searched the rooms until I found a pen that actually works and a notebook that's a pretty handy size. Maybe a little on the big side, but it'll make a great list maker.

I went back to the room we've got our boxes stacked and sat down in front of them. I need to organize this so the list is easy to

I'll start with the smaller boxes and work my way up, but I think I should separate them into lists of what we have, and what we should have and anything that isn't on the 'have' goes on the "shopping" list.

Yeah, that sounds good.

I dropped the pen and notebook next to me and started opening the cardboard boxes first. We should get rid of these asap and replace them with better bins — heavy plastic and resistant to different kinds of damage, especially water. That's one thing that shouldn't be too hard to find actually. Most stores that sell cheap furniture should have stuff like that. I know a couple right off the top of my head that should.

Some of these lists are longer than I thought they'd be, and others aren't long enough.

Thankfully the shopping list isn't too long, our utilitarian supply list is lengthy and most of our gear is in good condition. It's the food list that's the problem.

I knew it would be but I was dreading to see the actual list and I was right to.

If we don't find food that doesn't spoil and will last a while, we're gonna be in deep trouble.

We've got enough to last all of us another 4 days but after that we're officially fasting.

I sighed and put the lid back on the box. Grabbing the notepad next to me and set in on my knee and scribbled down the last of the food inventory.

We should avoid grabbing things that can't make more than 2 meals from now on, unless we're gonna eat it right away or it can be kept for a long time.

We should look for things like rice, canned beans, pasta. Powdered mashed potatoes and soup bases and whatnot. Stuff that's filling and keeps, and makes enough that we can feed everyone for a whole day.

We can space it out so that we're only eating 1 meal a day and having small snacks throughout the rest.

We should eat the meal when it's least likely we'll have to run, or when we have adequate time to digest it for energy before. So breakfast or dinner.

"Ey," A hand dropped on my shoulder and I jumped higher than a cat.

Daryl jerked his hand back like he grabbed a hot pan at the same time I grabbed my shoulder like something bit me.

My heart beat against my palm while I tried to breath like a normal fish again.

"Sorry." he mumbled.

I waved it off, breathing heavily but smiled.

Oh man. He scared the Hell out of me.

"Ts fine." I muttered, trying not to roll my shoulder or retract it closer to my body as I let my hand down. That's hard when I can feel my shirt catching on the raised circles.

I don't do real well with people behind me. I've gotten better. A lot better. But it still gets me sometimes.

Daryl backed off a little, shifting away. Don't ask me why but that irks me. I don't like it.

It feels like that stupid flinch just set back some progress bar I didn't know about.

"It's ok if you wanna," I glanced at my shoulder. I don't know how I planned to finish that sentence but I guess not finishing it is just as good.

Daryl shook his head, chewing the skin on his lip. The way he does when he feels awkward or hesitant. "Ts fine."

He focused on his lap, one knee up to his chest picking at his fingernails with his shoulders so tense they're almost touching his ears.

Oh I know that look. He remembers what's on my shoulder.

"I mean it."

He looked at me but didn't lock eyes for more than a second or 2 at a time. Choosing instead to look all over my face or at the list sitting on my leg.

"It's time I get used to them."

He stayed silent for a while before nodding, earnestly.

I didn't expect him to mumble — just loud enough that I know I was meant to hear it, "Me too."

I debated for a second before raising my hand and set it on his shoulder.

Then moved on to making the run list for tomorrow in comfortable silence. Daryl and I just sitting next to each other with our shoulders and knees touching while I scribbled.

I hope everyone will be able to decipher my handwriting. I wasn't being too careful when I probably should have.

It took a long time but it's finally over.

We've got quite the list here. Thankfully most of it we should be able to find in the houses around here; things like toothpaste, mouthwash, tp, etc.

Our food situation is still bothering me.

Feeding a group this size everyday — even rationing — is difficult. And Lori's eating for two now, which means she can't eat certain things. She's gonna be getting sick, she needs medicine, vitamins — we could all use vitamins actually.

I found some daily vitamins in the bathroom this morning, under the sink, but they're for kids. Carl's the only one who they'll be any good for, even Beth's too old for them to be effective. It's better than nothing, but still.

We need a Hell of a lot more food — and snow gear. Or we're not gonna make it.

We need to be smarter about how we prepare it too. I need to raise it with Carol & Lori — who are pretty much our designated meal-makers — that we need to make stuff that'll keep us full without using too much of our supplies. Soup, pasta, hearty meals. We can't just keep eating straight out of the cans or we'll dwindle our resources fast.

Fasting is probably a good idea too, but I'll have to bring that up with Rick first.

I scrubbed my hands over my face, rubbing my oily skin harshly.

All I want is to lay down and be unconscious for the next 15 hours.

I want a hot 2 hour bath. And a warm buffet for dinner.

I want a back massage and soft comfy bed to myself with soft fuzzy blankets and a nice pillow that smells like vanilla and sleep, and I want the smells of sweat and dust and iron to be as far from my mind as wondering whether or not anyone famous is still alive.

I want to go to the Caribbean and find some abandoned mansion on a personal island and claim it as mine. I want a boat too, not just any boat. I want a pirate ship. A proper one. With a black sail and a giant hat with feathers in it.

I will sit on my deck in the middle of the night with a candle, eating pizza and staring up at the stars. Nothing but the crisp ocean air in my lungs and the sound of warm water sloshing around me.

I've never been to a hot spring but I want one of those too! A personal one, right on my island. Or maybe a 20 foot deep pool that's like 10 feet above the water level so the ocean splashes into it at high tide.

And I want the entire island to be self-sufficient. There'll be lots of fruit plants & trees around that can just grow without me having to do much and they'll produce fresh fruit almost all year round. And lots of tropical flowers so the whole island has lush color to it and smells incredible. Never like rotting flesh and garbage, or the stench of a city.

"You ok?" Daryl asked, moving to put his hand on my shoulder but hesitated.

After a second he actually went through with it, and I gave him a tired smile.

Fantasies are fun. If only we could live in them.

"I wanna sleep for a thousand years." I leaned my head back against the bins, closing my eyes.

"You wanna hibernate?" Daryl looked at me; I know because his voice is louder in my ear now.

"Hell. Yes." I swallowed. "Like a vampire." I put my teeth over my bottom lip, showing off my canines.

I felt Daryl shake his head next to me. "If you were a vampire life would be a Hell of a lot easier."

I hummed in agreement. "Just remember I work for pizza and back rubs."

Daryl snorted.

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