I can't stop this story train and I don't want to. You guys are the absolute BEST. I'm so happy you're enjoying this story as much as I am. I know everything that's going to happen and I'm still so excited to watch it unfold, so that's a good sign I think!
They had started a blaze that had spread throughout the village, consuming all the houses until it left only rubble. Towering like a building and brighter than any star in the sky, it was a pyre that could be seen for miles around and so he wondered why it was that no one came for them. If not the fire, then surely somebody could hear the screams? The cries of his people for salvation? For peace?
For anything.
But as the world continued to burn around them, he was given his answer.
Was this what his brother had warned the elders of? The imminent danger he had tried to save his family from? Would this be the conclusion of ages, the downfall of his clan's dynastic legacy, the final word in a chronicle that spanned generations? And, if so, what would be left of them but a smeared mark in the tomes of history? A name besmirched and a culture forgotten?
This was not the story that had been written for him since birth, not the tapestry woven with gilded promises and opulent prospects. In fact it seemed very far from the future his parents had assigned to him. For years, he had trained alongside his brother, preparing for the day when he, too, would venture to the Emperor's palace and take his place among the clan. For years, he had practiced his writing and comprehension so that he could engage with the other noblemen at court and establish his status.
For years, he had wondered when his journey might begin.
But this was no beginning.
This was the end, and it was fast approaching now.
If they did not evacuate before the last of their compound was destroyed, they faced a misfortune greater than death. The horde would arrive like monsters from the shadows, donned in their dark cloaks and faceless masks to pillage the remains of the only place he had ever called home. But, what he would come to realize in his later years, as the wisdom of a lifetime of suffering was bestowed upon him, was that if not for the Akatsuki's attack, the depletion of the village's already dismal resources would have secured the extinction of the Uchiha's power soon after.
So, it did not matter that Itachi's warning had gone unheeded, for it was his actions that had determined their fates long before.
But this was it now.
The end before the beginning.
Sasuke stood at the window of his family's home - the same one he had so often stationed himself at to oversee the general goings on of his people - watching the billowing flags that bore the Uchiha crest become swallowed by the ravenous flames; an entire clan burned from the ledgers of history in a single, smoldering night.
"Come away from there," Itachi grabbed Sasuke and yanked him back towards their mother. He looked up at her expectantly and saw that Mikoto brandished a steel blade as she kept watch by the door, "We must leave now."
She nodded slowly, tearing her gaze away from the wreckage just outside to face her children. Mikoto beckoned her youngest forth and dropped to her knees so that he could see her properly. She wanted him to remember her clearly, especially in that moment. And even though tears welled in her eyes and she flinched at the clatter of her sword as it fell at their feet, she smiled brilliantly as she took him in one last time,
"Be brave for me, Sasuke," Mikoto brought her hands up to his face, fingers shaking against his cheeks. She knew this would be his last memory of her, but there was so much she desired to say and so little time to say it with. Mikoto kissed his forehead, the salt of her sorrow wetting her lips, and uttered softly, "I love you."
Sasuke flung his arms around her shoulders, hiding his face in her neck.
"I want to stay with you," his voice was weak, but his grip on her was tight, desperate, unyielding.
"I know," she whispered, squeezing him against her. He was so small in her arms, so fragile, so perfect. She pulled back to look into his eyes, trying to convey a million things in the span of a single second. If only she could impart upon him the depth, the force, the permanence of her love for him in terms that he could understand. If only she could make him understand. If only it did not have to be this way, "I know, Sasuke, but you can not stay here. It is not safe for you."
"Then why are you staying?" His voice was soft and meek, that of a child still learning the ways of his world, but even then, he despised the vulnerability in his tone and the fragility of his words.
"We have to fight," she tried to explain, but averted her gaze to look up at Itachi who had remained silent through their whole exchange. Mikoto extended her hand to her eldest son, inviting him to share in their bitter farewells. Gingerly, he started to reach for her, the tips of his fingers brushing against hers, "To give you t - "
"Mikoto!" Fugaku burst through the door wielding a sword coated with blood. His eyes were wild with rage and his chest heaved with exertion as he stormed upon them, "They are coming! They have to go! NOW!"
"I love you both," her voice became frantic, her smile faltering as she held her sons for the last time. Fugaku grabbed her arm, pulling her up from the floor and ripping her away from their children, "I love you," she said desperately as she retrieved her blade from the floor. As she followed Fugaku to the desolation outside, she threw one more look behind her and with a last, distraught plea, she called out, "If you are separated, do not trust the clouded cloaks!"
Sasuke was immobile as his parents ran from them, as he saw his mother's mouth form those three words to him one last time, as he watched his father look upon him one last time, as the world around him turned to ash. The smell of burning wood invaded his nostrils, the taste of metal rested on his tongue, and his mother's fervent command echoed in his ears.
"Sasuke, we have to go," his brother tugged at his arm but he refused to move. He could not stop seeing his mother, agonizing over the depthless sorrow in her eyes, the frantic fear written across her face. He wanted to stay. He did not want to leave. Sasuke jumped to his feet, sprinting towards the entryway that his parents had just passed through, but found himself yanked back sharply.
And then he was falling into the darkness once more.
Sasuke stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants and watched the sun bring light into the world, the rays of blinding luminance bleeding into the serenity of the early hour. With a faraway gaze and a burgeoning tilt of his lips, he wondered how long it would take her to open her doors that morning. She was clearly becoming accustomed to having him there each day, the minutes between his arrival at her rooms and her emergence from them becoming shorter each time. And if his punctuality was any indication, he was certainly not adverse to the sudden normality of her company either. As though on cue, Sakura appeared from her rooms with the evening guard who pleasantly bid her a good day. He and Sasuke bowed to each other politely before he went off to the barracks to sleep.
A resonant silence ensued, the only sound being the night guard's receding footsteps, as Sakura stood beside Sasuke and slowly lifted her eyes to meet his. He noted a few rebellious strands of hair coming loose already from her simple updo and surmised she must have readied herself rather hastily that morning. The wrinkles in the fabric of her floral coat were evidence as well, but it was those errant tendrils that had captivated his attention first. As the wind stirred them, they brushed against her bare neck unhindered by any jewels or trinkets. He had been wrong to touch her in such an egregious manner the other day, even within the sanctity of her room, and, though he would never suspect her to do such a thing, he was grateful she had not given the Emperor cause to expel him from the palace - or worse.
"Will you walk with me?" She asked suddenly, breaking the long quiet that had stretched before them. Before awaiting his answer, Sakura slipped her arm around the crook of his elbow and beamed up at him.
"Of course," Sasuke gave her a slight nod and kept his stride with hers as they began on the melting path. He kept his eyes strictly forward and tried not to look at her or wonder why she had asked that he walk with her and not just that he escort her around the gardens. Hastily, he shook those thoughts away; the excessive analyzation of her mannerisms by his restless mind was becoming too much of a distraction. What did it matter what language she used around him? Or how she presented herself around him? She could not be putting that much thought into the way she acted when she was in his presence, or certainly not as much as he did, so it did not matter. Furthermore, it was her status as the Haruno heir to dictate their boundaries. If she so wished to walk with him, it was his duty to fulfill that wish, irrespective of his own misgivings. Or his growing unease.
"How did you sleep last night?" Sakura peered up at him, fingers tightening in their hold on his forearm. Though she was a slight woman, it was difficult, or damn near impossible, for him to ignore the weight of her hand on him.
"Your concern is endearing," he spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully so as not to offend her; an act he found himself taking on the dedication to do more and more each day, "But my answer will be the same."
"Do you know why you are unable to sleep?" The mark of humor underlying in her tone was not overlooked by him, but he held himself steady, even as her thumb and forefinger pinched the fabric of his uniform. She worried the material absentmindedly, as though the action were so natural she need not put a single thought towards it.
"No," he responded stiffly. With their arms linked, he found he could only stray so far from her before he was pulled back to her side like a baited fish reeled in. But even as his mind fretted over their vicinity to each other, she continued on without so much as a care in her immediate world.
"Sasuke-kun, you must learn how to lie better, especially when it is to my face," she said with a giggle. Despite her terminology, he most assuredly was not facing her. Instead, he forced his eyes to remain on the trail ahead of them, blatantly ignoring the burn of her eyes as she watched him carefully. When she determined, to her dismay, that he would not return her gaze, she sobered herself. With a soft clearing of her throat and a diffident utterance, she remarked, "I know why it is that I am not able to sleep."
"Haruno-sama!"
Sakura ripped her hand from Sasuke's arm sharply, taking several steps away from him, and turned in the direction of the voice. An excited man waving his arm in the air was striding down the path toward them, donned in a long Haori made of fine navy silks that were indicative of his noble heritage. He approached Sakura rather abruptly and without much thought towards the man standing beside her. It was as though Sakura were a tree along the path she trekked, deserving of no more than the breeze that rolled over him.
But he was quite used to that at this stage in his life, at blending into his surroundings. He was a guard, not a courtier. A guard, not a nobleman. A guard, and nothing more.
"Lee-san, good morning," Sakura smiled sweetly, folding her hands in front of her as Lee stood before them expectantly.
"How are you fairing today, Haruno-sama?" Sasuke could not help but notice Lee's hand twitch towards hers, before he seemed to realize that she had clasped them together over her skirt. Sasuke assumed the action was on purpose; with her aptitude and intelligence for the functions of those around her, she must have known the man's intention. He concealed a smirk; he felt confident he knew at least that much about her.
"Well, and how are you?" her words were clipped but her tone was polite, as one would expect of a gracious host whose hospitality had just been imposed upon, but Lee seemed either not to notice or care that that might be the case.
"I am much better now that I have been graced with your beauty this day," Lee grinned as Sakura smiled and bowed her head. Her cheeks flushed, but for flattery or embarrassment, Sasuke could not determine. He supposed the former and his fists clenched at his sides, yet, he found that his need to look away was nowhere near the temptation to keep watching this interaction unfold with rapt fascination. Who was this man? A suitor? A lord?
Both?
"You are too kind," Sakura spared a very brief glance back at Sasuke, passing some unspoken sentiment that he could not quite decipher. Reluctantly, she returned her attention to Lee, "Forgive me, but I was just taking a walk around the garden."
"Yes, of course," he nodded fervently, "Let me escort you."
Lee held his arm out, oblivious to the fact that she appeared to want to be alone, or at the very least not with him. But ever the polite sophisticate, Sakura took his arm with a courteous bow and began to walk alongside him.
"Thank you, Lee-san," she kept her eyes cast down as she passed Sasuke, but he would not look away from her as he began to follow them close behind. Lee noticed this and paused briefly.
"I am certain you are needed elsewhere. Rest assured I can take care of her," Lee smiled, a wide grin that caused Sasuke to scowl in response.
"She is under my care until the Emperor decrees otherwise," even Sasuke could hear the measure of control in his tone slipping and knew that Sakura would pick up on it. How was it that she could sense when he was lying? Or when he was upset by something?
"It is all right, Uzumaki-san," she said softly and he stiffened, startled that she called him something other than her so apparent preference of 'Sasuke-kun.' He had not expected to become accustomed to the endearment so quickly, but at once he was reminded of how inappropriate it truly was. Yes, Uzumaki-san. That was his name after all.
Sasuke straightened himself as he looked at her.
"Haruno-sama - ,"
"Please wait for me by my quarters," she did not smile as she gave the simple command, ducking her head again and pulling Lee further down the trail, away from Sasuke. With an irritated grimace, he turned swiftly on his heel and stalked back to her rooms. He placed himself in front of her doors as he watched the pair turn to mere specks the further they traversed around the lake. An unfamiliar discomfort caused his skin to itch in a most restless way and his palms to sweat like the first time he had clutched the hilt of a sword.
Who was that man?
The hours passed with Lee adept at her side, talking at her, through her, inattentive to her, until finally she could not stand it anymore.
"I find that the sun does not shine until I have seen your face," Lee said earnestly. Sakura remained silent, her eyes solicitous to a spot in the distance beyond the lake. Lee frowned and prodded her gently, "Did you know that? Haruno-sama?"
"Forgive me," she shook her head, a blush flooding her cheeks at being caught unawares, "I am not myself today. I think that I would like to lay down now."
"Oh, certainly. I will take you back to your rooms," he stood from the bench and extended her his hand. She took it, this time gratefully, and rose to her feet slowly. She feigned difficulty in her movements, in the hopes that she could pass off her disinterest as sickness.
The poor man seemed none the wiser.
"Thank you, but I can manage. I have taken enough of your time today," she bowed her head and started on her way back before he could think to stop her. As she rounded the lake, she saw her doors come into view and, standing in front of them dutifully, Sasuke. She could not contain the smile that spread over her lips as she approached him. And, while he was appreciative of her arrival as well, he was careful to make no discernible indication to her about it. Still, she allowed them a moment of pause, a locking of their gazes and the passing of an understanding before she said urgently, "It is too cold to be idle out here, come inside at once."
Sasuke nodded, but kept silent as he followed her into the sitting room at her behest. She took off her gloves swiftly and dropped them on the table by the window. There was a harried energy to her as she flitted about the room, as though there were some itch beneath her skin needing to be scratched. He watched her intently as, with nimble fingers, Sakura pulled at the decorative pins holding her bun together, causing her locks to spiral down her back in waves. Mesmerized, he observed her gather large sections at the roots and give them a good shake to further uncoil them from the various plaits they had been in before. It was the first time he had seen her hair loose and he had an unwarranted impulse to run his fingers through it, just as she was doing now. Perhaps as she pestered him with philosophical queries. Or perhaps as she was pressed into his side while they walked along the lake.
Or perhaps as he kissed her.
Every muscle in his body became terse as the thought passed through him like a jolt of adrenaline burning in his veins. No, that was wrong. How could he think that? What a silly thing to -
The clatter of her jeweled hairpins falling on the table roused him from his reverie and he lifted his eyes to hers.
"Sasuke-kun, are you all right?" Sakura strode toward him and placed a firm hand on his bicep. He almost flinched from her casual touch, even though his uniform provided a thick barrier between them, but he caught himself, his arm merely tensing beneath her fingers.
And yet, that did not go unnoticed by her.
"Who is that man?" he bit his tongue as soon as the words flew from his mouth; it was not his place to ask. And it most certainly was not within the confines of basic etiquette to pose such a question to the daughter of the man whose employ he was in. But Sakura seemed not to mind, not one bit. Her gaze softened, the edges of her lips wilting, and she answered him promptly,
"Lee-san is the son of a nobleman in my father's company. His family are notable merchants and he is a potential suitor," Sasuke felt her finger the cotton material of his shirt once more, worrying it in her grip as she had done before, but then she dropped her hand and turned away from him, "Lee-san is sweet, but - ," Sakura stopped and shook her head as if she could not make sense of her own thoughts. Although, Sasuke was aching to hear the stipulation that inevitably would have followed her compliment of Lee. Instead she fell quiet as she said, "Well, it matters not."
Sasuke fidgeted on his feet, uncertain as to how to proceed further. This was not a conversation for a lady and her guard. He felt suddenly quite out of place in her large room with her fine things, fumbling through the disarray of his own mind as he stood in her startling presence. But she did not seem to notice that he did not belong. In fact, she seemed at least as attentive to him as he was to her.
Unsure of what to do with his hands as the silence between them stretched on, he fisted them at his sides and asked her,
"Did you enjoy yourself?"
Sakura glanced back at him and her lips stretched into a broad smile. Her rosy hair framed her porcelain features and provided a stunning contrast to her sparkling jade eyes. He felt the tension in the room dissipate as he regarded her mirthful expression. There was something mischievous there, playful and evocative, deliberate and enticing, in that smile. It held a promise to him, perhaps only to him, and it lodged his breath in his tightened throat as he anticipated her response. She did not let his gaze leave hers as she said candidly,
"I am enjoying myself now."
Sasuke smirked, unable to contain himself at her response. It was not at all what he would have expected from her and yet entirely what he had hoped for. He waited for Sakura to take her seat by the window before following suit to resume his, settling in for an afternoon at her side. She picked up the book that lay upon the table, finding the page that they had marked yesterday and began from there. Her voice soon filled the room as she read aloud to him of the boundless possibilities of transferable diseases and of the accounts of surgeons being improper with their hygiene as they worked.
He listened to every word, noticing the little inflections she put on certain syllables and the way her lips curved to accommodate different letters. A man in China had died of gangrene after visiting a surgeon with rusty tools and the frown of her mouth inspired by what she had just uttered created the prominent pout of her bottom lip that she then drew between her teeth as she contemplated such a scenario. Meanwhile, a woman in Russia had to have her leg amputated after contracting a bacterial infection post surgery and the furrow in Sakura's brows creased her forehead as she pondered what she might have done differently in that same situation. While Sasuke had little to no knowledge of the words flowing from her lips, he listened carefully. She read each article to him as though they were the most fascinating passages her eyes had ever graced, reciting them with an indelible captivation that he could not help, in turn, to succumb to.
With one hand firmly on the book, the other twisted her pink locks around absently and pulled them over her shoulder, exposing the pale juncture of her neck, made visible from the cut of the jūnihitoe she wore. As she released that rosy tendril, she ran her fingers along the curve below her jaw in concise circles and seemed not to notice that she was even doing so.
But Sasuke could not tear his eyes away.
Against his better judgement, he was imagining how her skin might feel if those were his fingers outlining the delicate slopes of her features. What would she do if he were to reach out and touch her now? If he were to tangle his hands in her silky hair? If he were to draw such intricate designs upon her skin, just as she was doing then? If he -
"Sasuke-kun, have I lost your attention?" Sakura set the book down between them as a smile quirked her lips. Her thumb tapped softly against the worn corners of the journal, a blemish indicative of just how often she had consumed its pages in the past.
"No," he answered simply, doubting that there was a soul alive who was capable of escaping her enchantment.
"Well, it is just," she seemed to falter for a moment, her eyes dropping and then lifting back to his, before she found her resolve, "You are staring."
"At what?" His brows lifted slightly and she had to stifle a giggle at the perplexity in his so often stern visage.
"At me," she said finally, setting her chin on the back of her hand, fierce emerald orbs pinning him under her gaze.
"Would you prefer that I look elsewhere?" he asked harshly. She seemed caught off guard by his brash question, stunned for a brief moment by his sudden abrasiveness. He shifted in his chair awkwardly and swallowed thickly.
"No," she laughed lightly, recovering herself. Her eyes bored into his, searching their expanse until she seemed to find what she was looking for. When she spoke again, it was with a measured tone, void of the usual fervor that accompanied her words; it was the sound of honesty, "I am accustomed to it from Lee-san, from many of the courtiers truthfully, but not - ," Sakura trailed off when she saw the shadow that fell over Sasuke's face. His angular features grew more harsh as whatever thought she had procured in him lingered. She forced herself to hold her tongue as a desire to know that thought burned greater than any other she had experienced before; he seemed so troubled. She shook her head softly, brushing off her unease, "Sasuke-kun, have you ever - have you ever been in love?"
"No," his answer was curt, cold, and without hesitation. But sweat gathered on his palms and he curled his hands into fists, removing them from the table to rest in his lap lest she get wind of just how unnerved he was. A tremor ran through him, but he could not discern if she had seen it or if she simply, out of politeness, had let it go unnoticed.
"I have not yet had the pleasure," Sakura paused, pondering at the heavy silence, then laughed, more so at herself than the strained air between them. But, contrary to her supposed humor, that note of honesty shone through as she continued, "I wonder if I will even be able to recognize it when I encounter it."
"When?" He asked curiously, unable to stop himself now.
"Do you not think love inevitable?" She tilted her head, examining his posture with every second that passed before he answered her.
"I do not know," a listless shrug accompanied his response.
"Surely it must be," though her words seemed certain, she appeared to be waiting for him to confirm her hope. The slight tremble of her lips, the nervous tap of her fingers, the subtle worry of her brow - they all came together to paint a startling image of a young woman who, in the face of nobility and privilege, sought something infinitely more valuable than status, but who was also bitterly aware of how unattainable it might be for someone like her. When Sasuke offered her no comfort to quell such a feeling, she proceeded carefully, unsure if his quietude was an act of callousness or, less likely in her mind, one of self-preservation, "I would like to think that I will love somebody one day," she did not hide the speculative probe of her eyes as she asked him, "Wouldn't you like that?"
"I suppose," he looked away from the intensity of her gaze, from the unspoken questions burning behind those green orbs. He wondered, was she so forthright in most of her conversations? What was it that caused her to divulge such intimate thoughts so freely? Did the other guards suffer just as he did by her hand? Perhaps it was all some elaborate ruse, some torturous game to help pass the time of her lonely existence.
Sasuke nearly scoffed at himself. What a crude thought. There was not a modicum of malice within her to suggest such a thing, only his own disaffection which had been made ever more present by her persistence to know him. Finally, he relented,
"Do you think anybody capable of love?"
"Yes," she said quietly, but adamantly, alighted by his supposed interest in the conversation. She nodded assuredly, "I do."
"Then," Sasuke's fingers tightened until the strain of his muscles shot a tremor through his arms; this was not a conversation for a lady and her guard, "Do you think these suitors love you?"
His question caused her to pause, a feeling that he attributed to reticence, but was actually a deep contemplation, twisted her features.
"They certainly speak as if they do," she began to trace the edge of her book with her finger idly as she lost herself in thought again. It was a valid query, but one that she had never posed to herself - one that she had never had a reason to. At least, not until that moment. Her lips tilted in a lopsided grin, the absurdity of her own notions not lost on her, but the mirth of the course of her thoughts bursting through just the same, "It might be that they have fooled themselves into thinking as much. Alas, I do not possess the proclivity to see within another person's heart - would that I could - I can only accept that which is given to me through poems and declarations, but - dare I say, I suppose I have yet to be convinced of their truth."
Slowly, he felt his anxiety begin to taper, dispelled by the smile that remained on her face.
"So you think that they do not?" He asked redundantly, knowing full well she had already given him his answer.
"They do not know me, Sasuke-kun," as he looked on at her, she dropped her eyes to her hands that became still. There was a melancholic timbre in her voice and a faint tint in her cheeks as she said, "And how can you love someone you do not know?"
Sasuke frowned; there was a troubling verity to her words now. This was no longer a discourse of hypothetics and possibilities, now he was faced with the harshness of her reality. And it was one that he realized, at least in some aspects, he knew as well.
Did they merely take her at face value, knowing only her heritage and claim their feelings to be love? Did they misunderstand her? Or did they simply believe she was everything they had made her out to be?
She deserved better, he thought. She deserved to find love someday and to have it in turn. At that moment, he was utterly unconvinced it would be with Lee. The man knew how to speak to her, in a manner, but it sounded as though many of her suitors did - perhaps that is why she did not feel special. Men of court would no doubt be well versed in the functions of conversation, particularly when it came to the woo-ing of whoever was unfortunate enough to have been set in their sights. And, Sakura - well, she was in everyone's sights.
Did all of her suitors speak the same way to her, then? Did they recite the same sweet nothings? Did they purport the same feelings as the rest?
Sasuke scowled. It was no wonder she found herself blind to what love, real love, looked like.
But he knew and he would recognize it in a second, because it was what his parents had. It was what they had lived for, fought for, and died for.
"Sasuke-kun," her voice wavered and it snapped him out of his thoughts. He felt his stomach coil into an unpleasant knot as he saw her lip quiver, "I wish us to talk about something else now."
"Have I made you upset?" He straightened himself in his chair and leaned forward ever so slightly. The concern in his tone was apparent to her then and it warmed her heart. She smiled softly, subdued but appreciative.
"No, not you," she shook her head and stood from the table. Sasuke felt himself pulled to his feet, compelled to follow her across the room. Like a bird fluttering furiously, beating its wings against the iron bars of a cage in futility, she began to pace anxiously. His hand shot out before he could stop himself, reaching towards her, palm open to receive hers.
"What is it that troubles you?" He asked earnestly.
Maybe he meant to lead her back to the table or to offer her some stability as she walked the same path repeatedly on unsteady feet. In truth, he was unsure why he had offered himself to her in that moment, most especially when he had nothing to give. Sakura paused, glancing at his outstretched fingers with an unconcealed inclination. In a flash, she ran to him, turning into his chest, winding her arms around his waist, and resting her cheek against his uniform. Sasuke tensed under her touch, hands falling rigid at his sides, unable to move or think or breathe, but acutely aware of just how incriminating this might look should somebody happen upon them.
And yet, all of that was erased the second she trembled against him, shaking for the fear and fury and sorrow that warred within her.
"I am so tired of this life," she whispered, lips moving against his shirt almost imperceptibly. He felt her hands spread across the top of his back, the tips of her fingers straining as they just barely met in the middle of his broad frame, "I just want to be free."
Sasuke sighed heavily, feeling her cheek follow the movement of his chest and the exhalation of his breath.
"Freedom is a luxury," he said quietly, shifting slightly and attempting not to disturb her position. She felt so small against him, this lithe woman, like a wisp that had drifted on the wind until she found him. And yet she was strong and sure in her hold, like she knew that what she sought was there, within him. He swallowed thickly and admitted, "One that even I can not afford."
Sakura tightened her grip on him and he felt a compulsion to lift his arms then, encircling them around her middle. The motion seemed so natural, so fluid, that he forgot to ask if the action was appropriate, concerning himself, in that moment, solely with her need for comfort.
The edges of her wild tendrils tickled his hands as they rested upon her back. Gingerly, he weaved his fingers through them, feeling the silken texture of each strand, and followed their trail. As he rose up to the neckline of her coat, he gathered more of her hair in his fervent grasp. She did not protest and, in fact, leaned into his bold touch, the nape of her neck brushing against his thumb as her head tilted towards him. Sasuke fought to quell an unbidden sound that surged in his throat as her chest pressed against his abdomen, swelling with every discordant breath she took in. Was she unaware of this act of intimacy? Or was that dissonant thump the beating of her heart as well?
"Do I seem silly to you?" she murmured as he idly stroked her hair, a rhythmic twisting of his fingers and the occasional brush of skin against skin. It gave him something to do, a diversion from his discomfited thoughts, while also serving as the cause of their inception. Mercifully, she seemed impervious to his unease and rather like she was enjoying the action. Good, he thought, because he could not bring himself to stop, "Like a child unappreciative of their privilege?"
"No," he said sternly and it caused her to look up at him, searching his eyes for what she hoped was the truth, "It is not silly to want for a better life. But I believe it is greedy to want what you do not have and also what you already possess."
A mutual understanding bloomed between them then.
"And I can not have one without giving up the other," she mused, letting her fingers run down his back in a way that caused him to shiver as she pulled herself closer still. He felt suddenly vulnerable in her arms, reliant upon her touch and responsive to her advancements. It terrified him to think that another person could hold such sway over him, that he could be rendered inept by only a look and a simple brush of her fingers.
That powerlessness he always felt in his dreams and in his memories, however, was so vastly different to what he felt now. That powerlessness was familiar to him, no matter how frightening. Yet, he could not conjure a reason good enough to support why he simply knew that Sakura would never use such vulnerability against him. She was not malevolent; she was as beautiful in her personage as in her physicality.
But he found that terrifying, too.
Suddenly, a knock sounded at the front of her chambers and they sprang apart. She dropped her eyes before she could catch his and hid her reddened face as she turned away. Sasuke rushed forth to answer the door. The sun was already beginning to set behind the kitchen maid who hurried in with Sakura's dinner. The woman set the platter on the table, her footsteps and movements the only din in the thick air.
Sakura ambled to the back of the room, her burning cheeks hidden from sight, muttering her gratitude to the maid so quietly that Sasuke could scarcely hear her from where he stood. As he shut the door behind the server, he became astutely aware of how much time had escaped them since he had come into her presence that day. Another guard would come to relieve him shortly and then he would have to depart from her until tomorrow.
"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura prompted him, seating herself at the table again and gesturing to his empty chair. It had become something of a normality that he ate with her now. He scarcely dined with his fellow soldiers and, to be truthful, he no longer cared to for he found much better company in her.
But tonight, he thought, it might be best that he not. Somehow, he had lost not only the day, but himself with it. He had entered into dangerous territory and decided that he should leave while he could still find his way out. Across the room, Sakura gathered her hair up and pinned it in place once more, watching him expectantly.
"I think that I should wait outside," he said prudently to which she failed to contain the frown those words brought to her lips, "Until my shift has ended."
He bowed his head to her respectfully, but she bristled at the formality of the action. Sasuke waited for some form of reciprocation and, for a moment, she appeared as if she wanted to say something. He could see it churning in her brightened eyes, but she held her tongue and nodded instead. He nearly breathed a sigh of relief; he could not be certain he would be able to refrain from further disgracing himself in front of her if he stayed for even a moment longer.
"Very well," she took up her utensils and began to eat, "Good night, Sasuke-kun."
She refused his gaze, but, even still, he bowed before her once more.
"Good night, Sakura."
He removed himself from her rooms, closing the door behind him swiftly, and stepped into the crisp evening air. He breathed deeply, inhaling the fresh, frigid air. Snow had begun to fall around him, blanketing the earth freshly and erasing the impurities of the day.
They marched through the smoke, emerging in a mass of shadows and swirling red clouds to descend upon the wreckage of his village. He knew his parents were still there, somewhere, defending the remnants of their once revered clan. He knew he needed to run back to help them. He knew they would die without him.
But he knew that he was too weak to save them.
Be brave for me. I love you.
Sasuke clung to the trunk of a tree as he stopped to catch his breath. He could see the Akatsuki just beyond the forest line, their cackling laughter and thunderous roars breaching the safety of the darkness. Suddenly, a hand closed around his arm and jerked him back.
"Do not look, Sasuke. Just keep running."
But he did not want to run anymore. He was tired of running through this pitch black forest on his weary legs while the last embers of his home burned into nothing behind him. He did not know where they were headed, but it did not matter. He only wanted to go home.
While the trees shrouded them, concealing them even from the light of the moon, there was a palpable fear, an inevitable doom hanging from above. How could he leave his village behind? His life? His parents? He wrenched his arm free from Itachi's hold.
"I want to go back!" despite his words, Sasuke did not move, a cold terror rooting him to the forest floor.
"We can not go back, Sasuke!" Itachi's voice was sharp, inheriting a tone he had never taken with his younger brother before, "I have to keep you safe from them. We must go now!"
"I want to go back to mother and father!"
The crunch of twigs beneath heavy feet reached them and Itachi yanked Sasuke forward again, breaking into a run between the thick trees. Frightened by the cry of the warriors running after them, Sasuke fell silent and ran alongside his brother. He could not have known how much time had passed, but it was not long until he saw a shaft of light at the edge of the forest and finally realized where they were. The gates of Konoha Village, towering and menacing in stature, came into view. Standing in wait at the entrance, were the Uzumakis aside a modest horse-drawn carriage loaded to the brim with supplies.
"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked, clutching his brother tightly as they approached the wagon.
"I do not know," Itachi admitted, a touch of sorrow marring his words. They stopped before Minato and Kushina, both of whom held a mixture of trepidation and relief in their gazes, "Where is Naruto?"
"Asleep, inside," Minato gestured to the carriage.
"You have my deepest gratitude for this," Itachi bowed his head before kneeling in front of Sasuke. He commanded his little brother's attention for a long moment, taking in all that he could of his appearance, all that he could to remember him, "Be brave for me, okay?"
"Are you not coming with me?" Sasuke's voice trembled, confusion knitting his brow.
"Next time," Itachi poked his forehead affectionately, but the normally teasing smile that accompanied the action, was absent now.
"But how will you find me?"
Itachi faltered, then shook his head forlornly.
"I can not know where you are," he hugged Sasuke tightly, clinging to him for a moment longer, "It is for your own safety."
"I do not want you to go," Sasuke whimpered, tears stinging his eyes as he clutched his brother. Through the acrid smoke, he could smell damp soil, the rich scent of the earth that clung to Itachi from the days he had once spent in the gardens when they were children.
He smelled of home.
"I have to," Itachi released Sasuke quickly, rising to his feet as the call of the horde became louder.
"You need to leave now!" Minato said with urgency, beckoning him forward as Kushina pulled a rolled piece of fabric from one of the packs on the wagon. She relinquished the bundle of cloth to Itachi, clasping her hands over his when he took it.
"Wear this, it will keep you safe," a broken smile wavered on her lips as she pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek, "I promise you, we will never stop protecting him."
"Thank you," Itachi released her and fumbled with the piece of clothing, draping it over his shoulders. It was of fine black silk and decorated with swirling scarlet clouds. Sasuke stared up at him dubiously.
Do not trust the clouded cloaks.
"Keep off the paths, you know this forest better than they," Minato clasped a hand on Itachi's shoulder and he nodded resolutely. He set his eyes back on his brother.
"Be brave for me, Sasuke," Itachi repeated, love and fear evident in his eyes, before he lifted the cloak over his head. His face became shrouded in the shadow of the hood and Sasuke rushed forward.
"I want to go with you!"
Minato caught him by the wrist, holding him back. Itachi faltered, his heart cleaved in two as he saw the dejection and terror in his little brother's eyes. Gently, he leaned down to take Sasuke in his arms, holding him tightly, tighter than he ever had before, and lifted him into the carriage. Itachi pushed him onto a bench, seating him opposite the one Naruto occupied, the latter of which was curled in a peaceful slumber. Sasuke fought against Itachi, clamoring to try and jump from the wagon.
"Not today," Itachi spoke sternly and let Kushina slide in beside Sasuke to hold him back before shutting the door of the carriage with a slam.
"No!" Sasuke banged against the window, rousing Naruto, "Itachi! No! I want to go with you! I want to go back!"
Frightened, Naruto scooted to the back of the carriage, sobbing as he watched his mother wrangle Sasuke into her arms, holding his small wrists as he tried to pound his fists against the door.
"I am sorry," Itachi whispered as tears streamed down his cheeks, "I am so sorry, Sasuke."
At the treeline of the forest, the lights of torches cut through the darkness and an ominous cacophony rose around them. Itachi whipped around as the horde advanced.
"You have to go! Now!" Minato yelled, scrambling to the front of the carriage to spur the horses forward. Itachi turned and ran along the side of the road, before disappearing into the thrush of trees. Sasuke called after him, throat hoarse, but found he was drowned out by the stomp of hooves as they lurched forward and the voices of the enemy as they grew closer. Kushina pulled Sasuke away from the window and shoved the curtain over the opening, plunging them into darkness. Although, she could not silence the monsters as she had so snuffed out his sight; their cries for blood and battle followed them for a time until, eventually, the horses were able to pull them a safe distance ahead.