You guys are the BUH-EST. I cannot get over your reviews, you guys crack me up. I am also very happy that I've been updating so frequently since we all know I literally NEVER do that, but that's because I actually can not stop writing this fucking story. I swear. I write it when I'm at work on my breaks, I write in when I'm in class, I stay up all night and get no sleep because I'm writing this. So. . . my life revolves around this story right now. Hope it stays that way. Enjoy.
"I would like to apologize for my actions yesterday," she had hardly spoken a word to him all of that frigid morning, preferring to save her words until after they had lunched. Or, at least until she had assembled them to her liking.
She appeared to be content to sit in silence for some time and read not to him, but quietly to herself instead. It upset him to not be able to hear her voice, but he could not bring himself to tell her that, so he had allowed the quiet to continue on, despite the obvious restlessness of his mind. On any normal occasion, normal being what it had come to be between them, he found her exceptionally gifted at her ability to not just distract him from his turmoil, but to abate those troubles altogether.
Now, the dam keeping the flood of his thoughts at bay had begun to crack from the assault of his nightmares the previous night. Every time he had closed his eyes, he saw nothing but fire, heard nothing but screams, felt nothing but terror. So, he had been desperate for morning to come and for the company that it would bring, regardless of any rancor or regret that had grown from their preceding question. Whatever unpleasantness she bore towards him would no doubt be a welcome replacement to what awaited him later.
"Apologize?" Sasuke asked, forcing a befuddled look onto his face. It was better that she remain unaware of how much he had mulled over the events that had transpired between him. If she was apologizing, then he most certainly had something to atone for as well. But, perhaps, to do so would be to admit that what had transpired was a direct violation of his duties to her. And to her father.
"Yes," she was looking to the window at the blizzard that raged outside, unable to meet his gaze and, thus, face her own shame. It was easier to transfix herself with the hypnotic swirl of the snow that nearly rendered her sightless, "It was inappropriate of me to say those things to you."
His eyes remained intently on her; was she apologizing because she had said them to a lowly guard?
Or was there another reason?
Sasuke had to bite his tongue before he uttered any assurance he might regret. Though he wished to absolve her of any fault, or at least share in it with her, his perception of what should or should not be deemed appropriate was entirely unreliable when it came to the woman before him. And yet, his irrational compulsion to assuage her guilt, to ease her discomfort, to make her happy, grew more persistent the longer she looked away from him. Why would she not award him the grace of her gaze?
"I took no concern with it," he admitted bluntly, causing her to lift her head in surprise, her widened eyes snapping to his.
"No?" she asked, to which he gave a simple shake. She paused for a breath, contemplating her next words carefully, "It is only - I do not wish to burden you."
"You are not a burden," he assured her before immediately gritting his jaw for fear that he might speak further if given the chance. But the sweet smile that his words had triggered made him all the less reticent about it. Once again, the shimmer in her emerald orbs was dazzling, blotting out all else around him with their blinding radiance.
"Thank you, Sasuke-kun," she said softly, "I suppose I feel that I can confide in you without the worry of rebuke or ridicule," she began to play with her hair again, this time plaiting it off to the side. He had begun to notice that she did it at times when she was pensive or deep in concentration, just as she was whenever she read to him from her journals. He supposed it was more habitual than intentional as her fingers seemed never to stray or give pause unless she paid the action particular attention. Sasuke nearly balked at himself; here he was analyzing her every utterance and movement as she did to him. Perhaps he had spent far too much time around her. A crease formed across her brow as she carried on, "I am not accustomed to a welcoming ear, let alone an engaged mouth. It is unusual for me to speak so freely."
"And yet you do it so well," he smirked, attempting to lighten the all too severe mood that had settled in the room. Sakura huffed and shot a glare at him, but grinned nonetheless. At once, he felt the tension between them begin to ease, like the cool relief of snow on a strained muscle or the first drink of water after a parching session of training.
He mused quietly; there appeared to be very little median between them. Either he was in a constant state of discomfort, every exchange from her to him and vice versa escalating the friction in the air, or he was entirely too comfortable in her presence, allowing the divulgence of sentiments that would make anyone of modest sensibilities flush scarlet to continue without recourse.
It seemed they could never simply be.
"You know," she spoke gingerly, clutching her braid in secured fingers. There were no more strands left for her to weave, but still she clung to it, twirling it absently, "You do not have to hide your thoughts from me, Sasuke-kun. I would pose no judgements upon you."
"Do you think I hide things from you?" He was playing coy, hoping to commandeer the conversation before they found themselves in yet another situation like the one just yesterday. Sakura narrowed her eyes at him; he knew she was aware he was hiding from her. And she knew that he knew, because he was always hiding. But, what she did not know, was that the only other option for him, ever, had been to run.
And he was tired of running.
So, so tired.
"Do not belittle me Sasuke-kun," she cajoled him and pouted profusely. She threw her braid over her shoulder and leaned across the table. With a hushed voice, she said, "You insult my intelligence."
"My apologies," he lifted a hand to his chin, attempting to discreetly cover the smile she had brought to his lips and slumped back in his chair, careful to keep a safe distance from her.
"Very well, I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you," she simpered and folded her hands over her journal, the text having long since been forgotten. For a moment, they stayed like that; Sakura inclining towards him and Sasuke reclining away from her. She pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, puckering the flesh as she considered him. Her head cocked to the side as she asked, "Do you like me, Sasuke-kun?"
He went rigid, his face paled, and he clenched his fist at his chin; had he been so obvious? He recoiled from his thoughts as the answer to that question was driven to the forefront of his mind; the scent of her hair was still evident on his fingers.
Sakura righted herself and changed course.
"What I mean to say is: do you enjoy being in my company?" Her gaze was persistent, yet somewhat reserved. She was fearful, perhaps, of how he might respond. But why? Did not everyone seek out her attention?
He swallowed harshly, desperate to look away, but unable to deny her gaze.
"Yes."
Her shoulders slackened as she let out a relieved breath.
"Good, I am glad," she shook her head softly, "I do not wish to keep you against your will, but I find myself wanting to be near you," she flushed at her own words and undid the tendrils of her braid, only to start over immediately, "Often."
Sasuke could not stall the fervent pace of his thoughts then. How could she say these things without consequence? Without impunity? He could not count how many times she had surprised him with her impulsive behavior or words and he wondered if she was even aware of it herself. Did she not perceive such actions as the peculiarities they so clearly were?
He felt an urge to draw out her odd mannerisms and place them on the table between them, as though he might display them for their collective deductions. Perhaps if they were brought to her attention, she might take care of how she spoke to him in the future.
But then, would she treat him differently?
He bolstered his nerve and asked her,
"Is that why you came to watch me fight?"
For a moment, she seemed almost taken aback by his audacity and he relished in the split second that he had been able to render her speechless.
"I was admiring my garden," she said with mock defensiveness.
"Of course," Sasuke teased, pressing her further, "I imagine it is lovely when everything is dead and white."
Sakura relented, allowing a moment of silence to stretch across the table that separated them. She could continue to vie for the lead in their entwined dance, to play this game of back and forth, or she could let him twirl her around the floor and see where she landed.
"And if I did come to watch you?" she asked bluntly, allowing her candor to peek through. And, to her great pleasure, he did not shy away from it, answering her simply,
"Then, I hope I did not bore you."
Sakura smiled and shook her head, lashes hovering low over her eyes as they fell from his.
"No," her voice was quiet, words melting into the air around them, "Not for a moment."
She had to know that he was attuned to her activities and the attention she gave him, but if she did, she never spoke a word of it. She continued to skirt the truth, teasing him, flirting, he thought, sometimes with the notion that she might harbor feelings for him.
Well, whether it was a notion or merely his own foolish hopes, it was driving him mad. He did not understand - could not - why he wanted to be around her, why he acquiesced to her wishes of spending time together, why he delighted in her nonsensical quandaries.
But if he thought about it too much, then it started to make sense and he could not reconcile that. If he felt so strongly towards her without even trying, he shuddered to imagine what it might be like if he actually gave in to his desires.
Weary from the events of the day, however uneventful they might have seemed, Sasuke sat on his bed, still dressed in his uniform. He was lost in the recesses of his mind when an unfamiliar guard came up to him, brandishing a sealed letter.
"This arrived earlier with us on the supply caravan," he said, "From your brother."
Sasuke took the letter and tore at the wax seal, unfolding the stiff parchment with haste; it had been months since Naruto had written and he did not know when they would be able to see each other again.
Sasuke,
I hope this finds you well, or at least better than we are faring out here; this winter seems to be more harsh than the last. I am sorry I have not written to you sooner, but we fell under attack and were forced to move camp. I am well, but we lost many good men. Our numbers have continued to dwindle and I fear that we have already lost this war. I have not yet conceded hope, but it does seem that the Akatsuki have an army with no end. Somehow, they have eyes everywhere and I have begun to suspect they have infiltrated our masses, but I can not say more, not in a letter. I have urged the Emperor in my report to him to reconsider a deal with the Hokage; with his forces we may yet have a chance against the Akatsuki. It is not an ideal option, to say the least, but it may be our best if we want to survive.
Mother and Father are with Jiraiya. I can not say where they have gone, but he has taken them somewhere safe. They send their love to you, as do I. My hope is that I will be home by this time next year, but only if the Emperor is able to secure an agreement in time.
Until then, I am anxious to return.
Naruto
Sasuke frowned and crumpled the letter. He should be at Naruto's side, fighting this war with him, defending the little family he had left. But he did not understand how Naruto could consider working with the man who had undermined his own father. Frustrated, Sasuke pulled his boots back on and walked out to the gardens. The world was bathed in moonlight, the clouds from earlier having cleared, giving way to a starry night, but the snow was still fresh with hardly a footprint marring the ground in front of him. He trekked a path forward, meandering along the side of the lake with no discernible direction.
He should be there. With Naruto. Standing together. Fighting this war. . .
Do not trust the clouded cloaks.
Sasuke shook his head, willing the thoughts away, praying that he might have just a moment of reprieve from them. But he knew if he tried to sleep tonight, he would be greeted only with the same nightmares.
And renewed regrets.
He paused in his steps and looked up, finding himself beside Sakura's window to her sitting area. Inside, he could see a candle burning on the table, her book discarded beside it. Across the room, she stood at the mantle of the dying fire while her night guard attempted to stoke it. As if prompted or possessed by the same powers that had brought him to that very spot, she looked up suddenly and caught him peering into her window. Sasuke froze and a slight blush crept infuriatingly onto his cheeks. He ducked his head and continued on the trail.
How embarrassing, he thought, to be seen like that, as though he were some depraved, immoral -
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called and ran up to him, clutching her coat tight to her body as though she had hastily thrown it over her.
"Forgive me, I was - ," he began, but she silenced him with a flippant wave of her hand.
"I can not sleep, either," the wind whipped her long tresses up, curling them through the air. Sakura shook them out of her face, tucking a few strands behind her ears, but even that could scarcely withstand the errant winter breeze. She shivered against it, her modest kimono doing little to provide her with any sort of warmth. Even though she had claimed insomnia, it was quite clear from her manner of dress that she had at least intended to occupy her bedroom soon. Sasuke chastised himself; of all the things to be thinking of in that moment, her bedroom should not be one of them. She smiled up at him, unassuming, "Would you walk with me?"
He opened his mouth to protest, but something very different came out instead.
"Of course," he said softly, all at once despising and relishing in the sense of relief her company would bring him. She slid her hand through the crook of his elbow when he offered it to her and rested her fingers on his forearm as they began to walk through the gardens.
"Are you all right, Sasuke-kun?" she looked up at him with a delicate frown and an empathetic gaze, "Has something bothered you tonight?"
He regarded her for a long moment, trying to fool himself into believing he had a choice between confiding in her or shutting her out completely. There was no denying that Naruto's letter had left a weight on his chest; the thought of losing another brother. . .
It was not something he could afford to consider.
Just as he could not afford her the truth, least of all the whole of it. But she had only asked him for a meager parcel, a paltry thing, and he felt compelled to give it to her, no matter the consequences. Sasuke took a deep breath, the cold air shooting through him, and uttered softly into the night,
"I fear for Naruto's life."
Solemnly, Sakura lowered her eyes to the ground and lifted her other hand to clasp his arm. The slight pressure of her small fingers as they stroked little patterns into the cloth of his shirt drew his attention back to her. Her inclination to comfort him seemed so immediate and without hesitation, as though there were not a thought to be put towards it on her part.
And, to her credit, she had succeeded, for he found the motions to be rather soothing.
"My father has told me of the desolation this war has brought to us," she leaned into him softly, head resting against his bicep, "He taught me of the Uchiha's betrayal when I was young, and how they perished at the hands of the Akatsuki. Of course, I have known the Uchiha name for longer than I can remember. Even so, it was terrible to lose such a strong clan. My father was distraught when Minato-san lost control of Konoha, too, but I am sure you knew that," Sasuke could only nod, pulling his gaze away and forcing it to anything but her. Already their conversation had veered sharply in the very direction he had hoped to avoid. Her words were sinking into his skin, falling deeper into his chest with every second, until they splintered as they struck the façade surrounding his heart, "I am grateful you did not perish the night they attacked Konoha."
Sasuke bristled at her side.
"And what about the families that were lost that night?" he could not keep the malice out of his voice then, causing Sakura to pull back to look at him properly. She kept a firm grip on his arm.
"It was unfortunate," she said quietly, her brows furrowing as she saw a lethal rage present in his dark orbs, "I am certain you lost people you loved in the village, and for that I am deeply saddened, but I am merely stating that I am happy you were not one of them. I am happy that I can stand here and talk with you, that I am not living in ignorance of your existence. Would you not afford me this happiness?"
When he would not look at her, she stopped them in their tracks and yanked his chin towards her with a firm grip. Her eyes were gratuitous as they searched his, though he was not sure what it was that she looked for. And yet, as she held him in her grasp, he could not help but find something there, waiting for him within her gaze.
But before he could properly determine its significance, she released him with a huff and he watched her dutifully as she tore down the path until she had reached her bench by the willow tree.
He stayed himself, waiting for her direction, although she did not sit as she usually did. Instead, she moved past the bench to the willow tree and ducked beneath its frozen branches. His feet shifted for the briefest moment she left his sights, and then a gust of air blew the leaves apart. Sasuke watched them sway softly in the wind, allowing him slight glances of the skirt of her kimono. With a cursory survey of the area around him, he sighed heavily and followed her tracks.
As he lifted the branches, she turned to face him, the slim shaft of light from the partition he had created illuminating her delicate features. Her eyes met his as he stepped forward, joining her under the tree's coverage and plunging them into darkness. He could only see so far in front of him, but her emerald orbs were shining as she looked at him intently.
"I do not understand you, Sasuke-kun," she murmured, shaking her head softly. His fists clenched at his sides.
"Why should you want to?" he failed to contain the harshness in his words, but she did not flinch from them.
"Simply because I do," she answered calmly, giving a flippant shrug in his direction, "Is that so wrong?"
"Yes," he gritted his jaw.
"Then so be it," she snapped and began to turn from him.
"Sakura," he shot forward to put his arm around her shoulder, imploring her to face him again. Her reluctance to follow his lead was evident when she cast her gaze to the leaves around them instead of his frustrated visage. He gave an exasperated sigh, "I do not understand you. Why are you so attentive to me?"
Her eyes flew up to his in an instant; that is not what she had been expecting from him. Not at all.
"Does it bother you?" She asked quietly. Sasuke faltered, his frustration giving way to genuine confusion.
Of course it did!
. . . And at the same time, he was utterly content to simply be under her gaze. Sakura reached for his hand, but as soon as her fingers brushed his, he pulled his arm back. She bit her lip to hide her disappointment, and asked him earnestly,
"Is it so terrible that I wish to know more of you?"
"Yes," the word came from him in a defeated exhale. She stepped closer, unrelenting in her fierce gaze, and placed her bare hand on the trunk of the tree, almost as if to steady herself, yet for what, he did not know. Sasuke's breath came in short as he saw her leaning closer, but, mercifully, she stilled herself before they touched. Her regard was one of sheer fascination and utter admiration as she watched him, but his thunderous heartbeat and sweating palms suggested he did not relish in their situation as she so did.
The wind whistled around them, rustling the leaves that coveted them, and somewhere off in the distance, the lone hoot of an owl could be heard. The reverent silence was both a welcome clemency from her persistence, but also a shackle that rooted him in her presence. Whether she was aware of his distress or not, she finally opened her mouth to speak.
"A flower's beauty is measured only in the admiration it receives," her voice was low as she posed her query and her fingers stroked the damp bark at her side, "Would you not agree?"
Sasuke was becoming more and more accustomed to responding to her passing thoughts, but even then he was perplexed by her change in subject. He took a long breath to collect himself before he answered her.
"Not at all," he said decidedly, wishing so desperately that he could look away from the intensity of her gaze. But she had captivated him in that moment, as she did in every moment that they found themselves together. His voice did not waver as he continued, "That would imply that the flower did not have any beauty to begin with."
Something fluttered in her chest, beating against her breast as it came to life.
"I think that the flower had beauty," her breath hitched as she spoke further and stepped closer to him, "But the flower did not care for it, not until it was shown such admiration."
"Any admiration?" Sasuke countered, the prickle of anticipation blooming at the nape of his neck while his arms shook with the force of his restraint.
"Admiration counts for naught unless the person receiving it so admires the person giving it," her eyes were probing, daring him silently as she begged him with her words.
"And if I recognized your beauty?" he questioned her bluntly, a muscle twitching in his cheek as he set his jaw.
Sakura swallowed harshly; she had to know she was not the only soul tormented by this gnawing desire between them. She had to know that this was real, that she had not imagined it all, that her sleepless nights would amount to something. Even if it was only an admittance of what she believed to be true and nothing more.
"Recognized it? Or admired it?"
"You are beautiful. You know this," Sasuke spoke curtly, shaking his head as though disgruntled by her questioning. Still, he found her gaze again, a feat much easier now that he had adjusted to the lack of light, and stared her down, "You do not need to hear it yet again, least of all from me, when they still sing of your beauty in foreign lands. Why must I tell you something that your suitors remind you of at every encounter?"
His tirade seemed to silence her, but not nearly long enough for him to recover from his ire.
"Admiration counts for naught - "
"I heard you," Sasuke gritted his teeth, clenching his fists ever tighter. But, Sakura did not shrink from his words.
In fact, she had to hide the smile that threatened to break over her lips as she caught the tremulousness of his stance and the tempest raging in his dark eyes. Whatever defenses he had put in place had failed him then. She could see his desire in that moment, his want, his need, and she felt an urge to explore it.
"I admire you," she stepped toward him again carefully, as one might approach a caged beast, cautious, but mesmerized. She lifted a frigid hand to rest it against his cheek, watching the strain in his features that she caused with the simple touch. When she stepped right up to him, she found that she had to raise herself to her toes so that they became level with each other. Or at least as close to that as his stature would allow. Sakura tilted her neck, parting her mouth slightly, and closed her eyes. Even as he watched her, every motion seemingly slowed in time, when the pressure of her lips came against his, it was a shock more startling than a glacial gust of wind. And yet, as though she had compelled him, his arms ensnared her waist, yanking her against him as if he might meld their bodies together through the sheer heat that bloomed from their kiss. With urgent hands and a fevered heart, he pushed her back against the thick trunk of the willow tree and she gripped his shoulders tightly to brace herself. Her head bent back at an angle and her toes became nearly numb from having to balance her weight upon them, but all manner of discomfort left her when she felt the zealous swipe of his tongue follow the curve of her parted lips.
And with a fervid gasp, she gave in.
Sasuke responded in earnest, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth where he nipped it delicately. A moan became lost on her breath, caught between their lips, but even that did not stop them.
Though she was flush against the wet bark, the ice and snow melting into her kimono, still he pushed his body against hers and still she pulled him ever closer, eager for each other's warmth and the taste of their passion.
Sakura ran her hands along the base of his neck and wound her way through his hair, crushing his mouth against hers with a bruising force. She was lost within his sea of passion, too lost to care, and he was all too happy to drown in her lust just the same.
Amidst teeth and tongue, they took small breaths through parted lips, but never separated for long. The seconds passed to minutes and might well have become an eternity for all they knew. Time stretched around them, proceeding in accordance with all the laws of its nature, but it could not penetrate the space that they shared. Beneath the cover of the willow tree, they had built their own little world, their own sacred space, one that existed solely for the purpose of their desire. Built upon it and fueled by it, it suspended them within that moment, offering them refuge for as long as they continued just so.
But they were reckless together. His hands dropped to her waist, fingers stroking the thin belt of fabric tied around her silk coat. At his sure touch, she went slack against him, allowing his leg to slip between hers for support as her knees nearly gave out. The merciless nips from his teeth and the ardent exploration of her tongue had fueled the fire between them until it felt as though they might burn up in a single, violent blaze.
"Sasuke-kun," her lips slipped from his, trailing down his jaw to his neck. As she gasped for air, dizzied and disoriented by lust, she struggled to find the space to pull back with him in front of her and the tree behind her. With a roughened exhale, he released her and planted his hands on the icy bark, chest heaving in time with hers. Sakura adjusted her stance, straightening her legs out to try to stand on her own two unsteady feet. For a long while, the only sound were their heady breaths and thudding hearts, but, finally, he found the will to speak.
"I do admire you," Sasuke closed his eyes, shaking his head forlornly, as if it were the most terrible thing to admit, "Of course I do."
She felt her heart skip, even though he had proven the sentiment quite well without having to speak the words to assure her. Still, the accompaniment of his verbal admiration with the physical manifestation of his ardor for her was a greater satisfaction than she had ever imagined. Sakura circled her arms around his neck, thumbs stroking the lines of his jaw, feeling the beginnings of his stubble there, then moved up to trace the lips that had claimed hers just seconds before.
"I have been unable to stop thinking of you," she said softly, prompting him to open his eyes to meet hers. Still framed on either side of her, the bark had began to bite into his skin, but the irritation was a subtle distraction from another very uncomfortable and growing problem; he pressed his hands more harshly into it. Sakura sighed sweetly, "I am restless at night because I dream of you - your lips and your touch - ," Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat. Her quiet voice was heavily laden with an unquenched lust, a burning passion, an unsettling desire, "I dream of you pleasuring me in the most obscene ways - I - I - ,"
"Sakura," he was quick to cut off the stream of unfiltered confessions spilling forth from her; it was more than he could take. She had thought of him in such a way? Just how far did she think this could go? And how had he allowed them to take it so far already? He shook his head adamantly, "We can not."
"Then, escort me to my chambers," her voice was barely above a whisper, but so clearly burdened by her own need, as her fingers stroked his cheeks affectionately.
"I do not think that would be wise," he gripped her wrists and lowered her hands away from him. Her touch was like fire against his skin, searing passion into his body.
"No, not wise," he could hear the humor in her tone, a teasing note woven through her words, "Do you think you will not be able to control yourself if we are alone?"
Sasuke swallowed sharply. How could she ask him such a thing?
Of course he would not - could not. It was no secret to either of them that she was positively irresistible to him. And now that he had tasted her. Now that he had felt her desire. Now that he knew. . .
"No," he choked out, the truth more painful than any lie he could have uttered.
"Then I implore you not to," she was quick to respond, losing all frivolity as she spoke low and sincere, "And to kiss me again."
Her entreating gaze was alighted by a ravenous need, a feeling so potent that it shot a spark of hunger through him in turn.
She yearned for him, perhaps as much as he did for her. Her fingers twitched like she was aching as much as he was for just one more touch. And he was begging for it, ready to fight, to bend, to break for just another moment with her.
"I can not," he took a shuddering breath, "It is not right."
"I do not care," a forceful wind nearly stole her words away before he could hear them. With a strength that rivaled his resilience, she stated firmly, "I want more. I want you."
Sasuke's hands shook as they attempted to hold hers, but she used the opportunity to slip free.
"That is a dangerous request," his voice was hoarse now, strained by the wilting force of his will. Sakura curled her fingers around the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a searing kiss, moving her lips over his, while he stood rigid against her. She paused, the warmth of her breath fanning against his skin as she whispered,
"I know."
And then her lips were on his again, soft like satin and bruising like steel. He took hold of her hips, bringing her flush to him once more. Sasuke did not want to let her go, could not imagine it now that she was pressed so tightly against him. He felt every curve and angle of her body fitted with his, finding that they connected in the most peculiar ways. The language of her form spoke with his, whispering low that this was right, this was how it was meant to feel.
Before he could ask himself what 'it' was, she pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open, catching his for the briefest moment, but then she ducked her gaze and slipped out from under the willow tree. Sasuke was rooted to the spot, every part of him frozen but for the skin of his lips that had been scorched from her memory. He could still smell the oils that were on her skin in the crisp air and if he closed his eyes, he could reach out and touch her. Could still run his hands over her hips. Could still feel her thighs squeezing his leg as he'd supported her against the tree trunk. Could still feel her hands tugging at his hair.
But she was so much more tangible now.
"Sasuke-kun?" he was startled out of his sweet reverie by her call. He pulled back the draped leaves and found her waiting for him. There was not a soul around, but the sky above gave way to the brilliant luminance of night, yet she shined like the sun, shaming the moon and the stars around her. Her cheeks glowed, tinged red by their activities and the merciless wind. Her lips, rosy and swollen from his ferocity, were pulled up into a smile. Her chest swelled as she took in a breath at the sight of him, breasts straining against the bindings of her robes. Sakura extended an arm out to him, fingers aching for his.
She was waiting for him and how could he possibly resist?
"I will escort you to your rooms," no matter how fervently he wanted to touch her again, he restrained himself and did not add that he might stay with her, that he wanted to stay with her. It was foolish to entertain the thought that they might give life to their carnal desires, but his mind had wandered towards the notion without him having to put any effort forth. The tightness of his trousers was indication enough of that and he could only hope that she had not noticed. She stepped closer to him and took his hand, linking their fingers together.
He peered around anxiously, even though it was clear that they had the path to themselves. Sakura leaned into his side, looping her arm through his as she looked only at him.
"I was afraid you would not see me in a favorable light," she said dolefully, though the mirth in her smile betrayed her, "Or that you might see me as everyone else does."
"You did surpass my expectations," he admitted, voice subdued, but unable to contain the smirk she brought to his face.
"As did you," she seemed to regard him with reverence, but the longer her eyes searched his, the more her smile disappeared. Gingerly, she reached her hand up to spread her fingers over his heart, just as she had done the day before. Sakura sighed softly, "But I sense that there is still much that you conceal from the rest of the world. And from me. I do not want to see you as everyone else does, Sasuke-kun," she took a small breath and fisted his shirt in her hand, "I wish to know you as intimately as you know yourself. Perhaps, one day, even better than you do."
Sasuke closed his fingers around hers, thumb stroking her terse knuckles. His expression turned somber. The sentiment was charming and her words had triggered an aspiration to make that diegesis a reality, to impart upon her all that she desired to know, to indulge in this newfound passion.
But how could they? A flurry of negations swirled in his mind, justifying his requirement for a lifetime of solitude. Perhaps not solitude, he thought, but with her - He could see no possible future for them; it was simply inconceivable. If he were still of noble lineage, maybe, but what was the use of spending time thinking on things that could have been? Or things that never would be.
"That is not realistic," Sasuke pulled her hand away and lowered it between them. It took a great measure of will for him to release his hold on her, but as soon as he did not feel her skin against his, he felt his sanity return to him again.
Sakura tried to hide her dejection, folding her arms over her chest and looking away. She bit the inside of her cheek and said,
"I will not ask forgiveness for hoping."
Sasuke sighed.
"I do not want you to," he softened before her, but she would not spare him a glance. He implored her quietly, "I simply wish that you would see the impossibility of what you ask for."
"I see no impossibilities," she snapped, eyes darting up to his. In a split second he witnessed her wide green orbs churning with desire, with lust, with hope. She gathered her skirt in her hands, "I see only you and me, and the walls you invariably build between us."
Sakura stormed down the length of the trail without him until she reached her rooms. Sasuke watched as the guard opened her doors and promptly shut them behind her. He clenched his hands to fists and cursed aloud to the frigid air.
He supposed it was better this way, though. Better that they do not become attached, better that they find out there is no hope for them now, better that they do not fall in lo -
As soon as he thought the word, his heart squeezed painfully tight in his chest. Perhaps that was not better, but it would be the decent thing to do, to spare her now.
He scoffed to himself; he should not assume things he did not know. And while he might know the taste of her lips and the feel of her clothed body against his, he most assuredly did not know her heart.
Not truly.
Sasuke turned away from the direction of her rooms and shoved the snow off of her stone bench. He sat down, folding his hands in his lap and his eyes surveyed her world that surrounded him. He passed his gaze over the frozen lake, the bare branches, and then to the willow tree beside him; the only thing still teeming with life in the dead of winter. As the leaves swayed, it allowed him to glimpse that sacred space once more.
He could still see them there, hidden beneath the branches and held under cover of darkness, exploring the tender passions they had only just discovered. Eager lips and possessive hands painted their picture of desire. A desire like a flame flickering to life, licking away the edges of his resolve, his fortitude, and, of course, his sanity.
Sasuke watched the breeze stir the overhanging leaves once more and the vision disappeared. He turned his eyes back to her chambers where a soft glow still emanated and wondered how long it might take her to open the doors come morning.