Whoo, gettin' all hot and bothered with this sexual tension. This already feels like the slowest burn ever to me, but that's because my first response to any attraction is always simply, "Oh just bang and you'll be fine." I can't get over you guys or your reviews, you're all beautiful. Enjoy!
She lay on her bed, atop her sheets for hours that night, waiting for the passion in her heart and the ache at her core to subside. She waited for the memory of his touch to cease plaguing her, but it lingered stubbornly, causing her heart to caper each and every time she felt the ghost of his lips on hers. How could he show her such ravishing desire, then deny her that same pleasure the next moment? She understood his reasoning, but she could not bring herself to agree with it. Sakura had hurt more than she could have imagined just from the subjugation to his rejection.
She felt an amiable gratification when she interacted with him. He made her laugh, smile, and find enjoyment in activities that had previously become dull. But to hold his attention in such a way and to feel the force of his fondness for her, it was incomparable.
She had been granted the experience of reciprocation from a man she truly wanted and she found that there was little to nothing she would trade that for.
He had such hunger in his eyes when he looked at her, a coveting gaze that held no apology nor want for recompense. He was concerned only with the connection they shared, seeking to discover the borders of it, were there any. She felt so empty now, helpless to her need for Sasuke, and she wished he filled more than just her bed then.
While sex was not a common subject for her, she had done her research thanks to her collections of medical journals. She knew of the concept of virginity, and was well aware that in her social standing it was a requirement. The nobleman she married would expect a demure, chaste wife. Yet, she knew there were ways around that, and she was all too eager to act out her fantasies of Sasuke. But, informative as they were, her books had failed to describe how relentless desire was, how it would gnaw at her heart and pulsate at her cunt.
Sakura had not anticipated her body becoming a slave to passion, but that was how she felt; a knot of nerves coiled in suspense of relief. If she just heard her name on his lips one more time or felt his strong, sure hands on her body again, Sakura was certain she would come undone.
She gave a disparaged moan before letting her fingers travel beneath her robe. She petted her hidden nub, swollen with neglect, and began to work in small circles. Aware of the guard keeping watch in the other room, she bit her lip to silence herself.
She was tentative with her touch, allowing the pleasure to build slowly, imagining that Sasuke would coax her desire out languidly, despite his need for her. A cry of want became lodged in her throat. She had never felt such lascivious compulsions before, had never been so compelled by the thought of another person. Her other hand ran along the length of her slip and palmed her breast through the material. She let out a soft squeak and squeezed her pliant flesh harder, trying to emulate Sasuke's zeal. Her fingers quickened at her amenable clit, arousal heightening her pleasure and pleasure drowning her in scorching bliss. She wanted it to last, Kami, she wanted it to last. . .
Sakura tore her fingers away as her orgasm ripped through her. Her back arced sharply off her bed, her limbs shook from the strain of erotic indulgence, and still the fire in her heart burned. His striking gaze and sculpted face sat at the forefront of her mind, taunting her desire and her quest for completion. It was useless without him.
Sakura panted heavily, watching the darkness that spiraled over her ceiling. She wanted him. If there was a capacity to her desire, she knew he would be the one to find it; it had to be him. And when he found it, she wanted to witness that hunger in his eyes as he made her come.
Sakura did not open the doors for him the next morning, nor the morning after that. Her ladies in waiting filtered in and out of her rooms at various times. He would hear her laughter resonate through her chambers and ached to see the smile she presumably wore as she did, but he would not enter unless she invited him in.
She must be irate with him, he thought, but she needed to understand that he was only looking out for her wellbeing. It was impossible for them to be together without suffering repercussions for it. He doubted very highly that she felt so strongly for him that it assuaged all fears of consequence. Still, he wished he was in her sitting room with her, at her table, exchanging lighthearted quips and thoughtful sentiments. His wishes were all that kept him warm as he stood, without fail, in front of her doors.
Then, one afternoon she emerged with her envoy, dressed in a startlingly dark blue, floral patterned kimono, almost black in hue as though she were in mourning, with her hair twisted into a large bun that sat atop her head. Jewels hung from her tendrils and decorated her neck most ostensibly. He wondered what the occasion was, for he had never seen her put forth such an effort in her wardrobe. Undeniably, she was breathtaking, but his mind continued to wander back to the other night when she had stood on the frozen path with him, wind courting her hair as it pleased and not a jewel in sight fighting for attention against her. She had walked with him in only a silk robe and she was still the most beautiful being his eyes had ever been graced with.
Sakura did not spare him a single glance as she and her ladies wound down the trail of her gardens, but he knew it was his duty to follow her and he was thankful that he had to obey it. He trekked behind them at a safe distance, until he saw a man approach Sakura. Her ladies turned and giggled to each other, trading whispers. He was too far to hear the words exchanged, but Sakura nodded and took his arm. Her ladies remained behind, talking excitedly within their group. A few had looked to Sasuke, wondering if he would impose on Sakura and her courtier with his looming presence.
With a scrutinizing gaze, Sasuke traced her movements and the steps she took. Sakura was careful in her stride, floating almost, and straightening her posture as she looked up at the man. She smiled at something he said and nodded avidly. The man led her over to the bench by the willow tree, the snow having melted for that day, and sat beside her. He began to talk excitedly while Sakura nodded and listened, all the while never releasing his grasp on her hands.
This man was not Lee-san, but Sasuke failed to see the difference. He noted the way the man seemed to fawn over Sakura, gesturing to her ornate hair or simply grinning boyishly when she graced him with her laughter. Sasuke wondered, for just a moment, if he had ever looked at Sakura that way, as if she were a master with a bone and he a dog. How pathetic, he thought as he watched the scene play out. Still, this dog had a better stance of achieving something Sasuke never could.
Scowling, unable to turn away and defenseless against the pain that cracked his heart, Sasuke simply observed.
"Uzumaki-san," a soldier approached him, blocking his view of Sakura and her new suitor, "The Emperor requests your presence."
Sasuke nodded and proceeded to the Emperor's council room, grateful for a distraction, but unaware that Sakura followed his movements diligently.
"I have written a poem for you, Haruno-sama."
"Hibiki-san, how sweet," Sakura wished she could conjure a blush at will, but she had been gifted so many confessions of adoration that it failed to stir even a soft flutter of her heart. But she knew who could, and that man was currently walking away from her. She had no idea where he was going, he was meant to be looking after her, watching her every move, and drooling over her appearance like this man was.
"May I read it to you?" there was a timidity to his voice as he pulled the paper from his pocket.
"Of course," she forced her eyes back to him. She didn't want to hear another poem. She wanted to hear Sasuke whisper against her lips that he admired her and she wanted to feel his sturdy arms envelope her, hands slipping along her body as if she were his lifeline. Sakura twisted the fabric of her kimono in her hands as Hibiki's voice faded into static beside her.
"Uzumaki-san, I am sure Naruto-san has informed you of the dire situation we face at the battlefront," Emperor Kizashi paced around the table at the center of the empty room, eyes fixed on a map of dissected territories that lay there, "Each red pin represents another village lost to the Akatsuki," red covered the majority of the north, "The white represents the Hokage's territories," white spread through the western region, "We are isolated here, in the blue."
Kizashi's hand slammed down in the middle of the southern provinces where the smallest collection of pins resided. Sasuke kept his silence, standing firm in his stature. With a heavy sigh, Kizashi's hand clenched to a fist and he bowed his head.
"Our militia is spread thin, but I must find some way to supply them with more troops. I am not comfortable with trusting the Hokage. Not yet," Kizashi lifted his weary eyes, but Sasuke felt relief at his admission, "I know Naruto-san is correct in thinking there are spies among us. For that reason, I need you to remain behind. I know you had requested to be in Naruto-san's ranks, but I am unsure of who I can trust here. I fear I have only you and Hatake-san now," a deep frown had etched itself on Kizashi's face and Sasuke felt that, remarkably, it reflected his own bitter disappointment. How could he stay at the palace, restless, while Naruto fought a losing battle? "I suspect another attack may come sooner than we think, and much closer to home, as well."
"Sir?"
Kizashi paused in his thoughts, lost in the dissension of his strife.
"If we indeed are infested with spies from the Akatsuki, then I suspect their next target will be here, at the palace," the defeat in his voice was prominent and it sent a devastating chill down Sasuke's spine. Silence stretched through the cavernous room, weighted with the threat of war now at their doorstep, "Keep my daughter safe. Please," Kizashi's hand massaged the furrow of his brow, eyes closed, "Please, that is all that I ask. Just keep her safe."
Sasuke nodded brusquely, tightening his fists. So he was to remain there, useless as ever, while he lost another brother to the Akatsuki. Anger, fury, hatred, and encompassing despair swallowed Sasuke; he was falling into the darkness again, set adrift in its endless waters.
"Very well," he bowed low, but awaited Kizashi's dismissal before exiting the room.
A shadow loomed over Sasuke as he resumed his post in the gardens, and Sakura could see it as soon as she spotted him. Her knuckles were white with how tightly she gripped her skirt and she could not shake the buzzing in her ears. Sasuke's mind was miles away, with Naruto and his army on the battlefield, but Hibiki was focused on the woman in front of him.
"Might I be able to see you tomorrow?" Hibiki asked, and Sakura realized the static was talking to her.
"Perhaps," she spoke passively, unflinching from Sasuke's vacant gaze. He was looking through her, unaware of her, as something played out in his mind, "Excuse me."
She stood abruptly from her bench and strode past her ladies who watched her with curiosity, wondering if they should follow in her harried footsteps.
"Meet me in my rooms, please," she whispered, head lowered as she swept by Sasuke. For a moment he had been so captivated in his thoughts that he assumed he had not properly heard her, until he looked up and caught the glance she threw over her shoulder. He stepped into a measured stride, waiting for the inspecting gazes of her ladies and her suitor to drop in disinterest, and slipped through her doors.
She was on him in a second, pressing him into a corner of the room that the light of the window could not touch. Her lips attacked his to which he responded with fervor, before he seemed to catch himself.
"Sakura," he said breathlessly, pushing her back, yet still attempting to keep her in his grasp, hands settling at her slight wrists.
"What is wrong?" her eyes were wide with a fierce trepidation that led Sasuke to believe she was not inquiring about his refusal to kiss her. She pulled her arms free to link them around his neck. Her chest pressed against his and he felt his breath lodge in his throat.
"It is unimportant," he shook his head and fought the urge to clasp his hands at her delicate waist, accentuated by the obi she wore.
"Sasuke-kun, please tell me if something is wrong," she stroked his cheek, but he caught her hand before she could further entice him with her caress.
"What would it matter?" he frowned, "You will continue to bask in the attention from the many men who wait for you hand and foot."
Sakura fell silent at that, receding from him, looking every bit ashamed for her behavior, but it didn't make him feel better. He felt worse when he saw the corners of her lips turn down.
"I do not mean - ,"
"No, you are correct," she whispered, "I only wished to make you jealous, so that you might feel spurned as I did. And I did so only because I knew you would have to watch. It was petty of me, especially as you are clearly tormented," her bright, clear eyes, halted the words at his lips, "If you do not want to tell me what troubles you, I suppose I can do no more," What did she mean? "If you do not carry feelings for me, then please be plain with me. I would rather suffer the pain of honesty, than be pining for affections that are not truly there."
Sasuke heaved a burdened sigh, gaze razing her from head to toe, examining the utter fragility of her façade. He imagined that all it would take would be to remove an ornament from her hair, or to unravel the obi, and she would crumble before him, susceptive to the depth of her compassion.
"You know I can not lie to you," he inched towards Sakura, apprehensive to touch her, "I am no good at it. I am jealous of the men who may court you openly and flaunt their affections for you. It is something I will never be able to do."
"That is not what I need," her voice trembled as she extended her hands to capture one of his. She felt the rough pads of his fingers and thumbed each knuckle as she fell into contemplation. With his free hand, he curved it at the back of her neck and kissed the crown of her head. She reveled in the soft touch and marveled at the warmth that spread through her because of it. They stayed like that, close but not together, touching but not embracing, in silence, for what felt like an eternity.
She needed him; she had all but given that admission.
"I wish I could give you what you need," he murmured into the silky strands of her hair.
"Then, do not deny me any longer," she whispered, "Please."
He lifted her chin and dipped his head to meet her lips. He kissed her slow, agonizingly, achingly languorous. His tongue ran along the seam of her lips whereupon she parted them willingly to allow Sasuke access. His hands dropped to her waist and he pulled her flush to his body. Every nook and curve of her form met his, the two melting in to each other.
Sakura raked her fingers down his front, over the buttons of his uniform and began to undo them one by one. Sasuke groaned into their kiss, but Sakura only pushed her lips harder against his. Rather than respond in kind, though, he turned his face to the side, her lips catching on his jaw.
"Sasuke-kun, please," she was breathless, craving his touch, as she urged him to look at her. Sakura's hands gripped his cheeks and his eyes were forced to meet hers.
"No," he shook his head, but she would not remove her fingers.
"Please, do not be afraid of me," her gaze was probing, "Do not fear my feelings and do not hold back your own. I am going mad without you. I can not rid myself of this ache and it resonates to my very soul. I must have you near me, I need you to hold me, I need - "
Sasuke silenced her with a bruising kiss, spurred by the severity of her words and the profundity of her tone. She was tempting him, but he was an easy target, he thought. His discomfort was devoured by her assurance. And for a moment, he convinced himself that they were free to do as they pleased in the confines of her room.
Then, the bitter, remorselessness of reality collided in to him and he wasn't expecting it. He stole away from her, pacing to the doors and clenching his fingers around the handle.
"Don't leave," she pleaded and he had to shut his eyes to keep from looking back at her, "Sasuke-kun, please, stay with me, until tonight, until your shift ends. Just stay in here, with me."
He began to think that if he stood in contemplation any longer, he would be able to crush the handle in his palm.
"I am afraid of what I will do if we are alone together," he admitted, wrenching his eyes open, "I will wait outside until my replacement arrives."
He didn't give her time to respond, twisting the handle and rushing outside.
Sakura had dismissed her ladies when they enquired after her and retreated to the depths of her small library but found that she could retain none of its information. She meandered around the grand space of her sitting room, slipping in and out of her bedroom in utter agitation and boredom. The knowledge that Sasuke yearned for her so greatly and stood just on the other side of her walls was becoming too much to bear.
Then, someone knocked on the door. She ran to open it, but found only another guard standing in Sasuke's place.
"Good evening," she greeted him, realizing only then that night had fallen and it was time for Sasuke to return to the barracks.
"Good evening, Haruno-sama. Shall I light the fire?"
She stepped aside to let him enter, peering around the corner of the door to see Sasuke's hunched back as he retreated down the path to his room.
"Yes, please. Excuse me, but I'll be back in a moment," she practically ran out the doors and after Sasuke, but slowed to a walk when she noticed the many guards waltzing around, having just ended their shifts as well, "Uzumaki-san," she called out, in case anyone was paying attention. He stopped and turned to face her with a trepidation that did not go unnoticed.
"Haruno-sama," he responded, for all intents and purposes. She stepped up to him gingerly so that they might speak with some privacy. The snow still left on the ground crunched beneath her feet as she approached, pronouncing her steps.
"I have to know," she began, fingers fumbling together, "I have to know what this all means. How do you intend to proceed with these feelings? If at all? And if you do not, then how can I persuade you to change your mind?" he regarded her carefully but still did not speak. The number of passersby was dwindling, soon it would just be the two of them out in the cold, only the other to seek solace from, "I can not simply let these things lie; you are difficult to ignore."
"As are you," his hands were stuffed into his pockets and she suspected that it had more to do with restraint than the bite in the air.
"Then I implore you not to. I have never felt so strongly for another and I do not wish to have someone grace my bed if they are not you."
"Sakura, that is a foolish thought," he grit his teeth and looked away before snapping his burning gaze back to her, "You think I do not want the same things? That I do not crave it so viciously? I would like to take you back to your rooms and have you in the most uncouth ways, but I am tethered by obligation. It is only one of the many reasons we can not have such interactions," he ended on a snarl and expected a fiery retaliation from her, but all she did was whisper,
"Would you?"
Sasuke breathed deeply, hoping the chill of the air might help the heat in his body subside.
"Of course," his voice was quiet then, conquered by his vulnerability with her.
"Have me," she shrugged her shoulders as if it were nothing, "You possess so much of my being already, I can not imagine I will be any worse off if you possess all of me."
"You will be," he sighed heavily, "Believe me in this."
"I have no reason to," she countered, "Is it because of what happened today?"
"What?"
"You were distraught over something. Is that why you wish to shut me out?"
"Sakura, no," he shook his head, "You can never be in my life, just as I am not meant in yours. There are areas of this world that we do not belong to and places that we are meant for. My place is not here, it is not by your side, it is not in your bed, much as we might pine that it could be. There are things in my life that should be kept far away from you, lest they damage you as they have me."
"And so, by extension, you think you should be kept far from me?"
"I am certain of it," he said, disregarding the Emperor's request of him just hours earlier.
"You will not share with me your plight?"
"My plight is not yours to carry," he spoke with a somber tone, but kept her level gaze.
"Do you deny everyone as you have me?" Sakura questioned not of his desire for her, but simply his connection to those he interacted with.
"You are no exception," he murmured, "There are things you should not know of me."
"I want to know it all," she persisted, itching to reach for some part of him now that they stood alone in the dark of the night.
"How can you say that?" he asked, incredulous.
"There is no thing you could have done that would so sway my feelings in the other direction," the fire within her showed itself then and her disclosure to him caused his heart to skip in his chest. He wanted her; he wanted to tell her everything, to divulge his secrets to her and let her keep them safe, to tell her that he felt the same, to tell her that he did not care that they were world's apart, because when it was just the two of them - When it was just the two of them, secluded in her room and seated at her table, it felt like they had found their own world.
He stepped close to her then, reaching a hand up to stroke her cheek. Sakura turned into the soft touch, closing her eyes when he pressed his lips to her forehead. His mouth seared her skin, burned the imprint of his lips on her, marking her as his, and then he turned away, leaving her alone in the garden.