Hi Guys!
I would like to thank everyone that are still reading this fic after so long and welcome to the new followers! I hope you all enjoy this one.
Special Thanks to "The-Writer1988" my Beta ^^
Back in LA their routine had pretty much returned to normal. The only change was Tony had decided he would be upgrading equipment for the whole team, and instead of weekly meetings with Shield he had meetings with the Avengers who remained in the city in Stark Tower.
Tony and Bruce seemed to be developing a friendship. She was always aware of some research they were doing together. It was nice to see that, first because Tony never had many friends to go out or chat with, and secondly, because in all those years that she knew him, she never saw him excited to talk to a colleague. For what she understood, Dr. Banner was a genius in his field. He must have something because most renowned scientists around the world weren't interesting enough for Tony. His intelligence was abnormal. He was a genius among the genius, so much that he considered the others boring. So seeing him develop that friendship with Banner really made her feel happy.
From time to time she would hear him complain about America's first Avenger, Steve Rogers. The complaints were based on a childish dispute that Tony had, had with the man since he was a young teenager. Apparently Howard Stark liked to compare his son's attitude when Tony was young with the long lost soldier. According to Tony, he could never reach his father's expectations and always lost for the frozen soldier.
"It was unfair you know," he said one night when they were sitting in his house in L.A. "How am I supposed to compete with that? The guy was gone and he was perfect in my father's eyes. A son should not have the need to compete for his father's attention, especially with a dead person."
Still, she knew they were developing a partnership, she only hoped that maybe later, this could move forward into a friendship.
The thing was, Tony was spending some time with the Avengers. And if she ever had to go to NY for a meeting he would go too, just to see if the guys needed something or spend some time with them.
-o-
Their routine was back to normal again. Pepper would go to Stark Industries while Tony stayed home creating things in his lab. When he wasn't investing in new technology he was upgrading his suits or the components of the Avengers.
Normally, after a day of work, Pepper would go to his mansion to spend part of the evening with him. Around 5pm Tony would shut down the lab and be waiting for her in the living room, or by the pool like an excited puppy. It was adorable to see him waiting for her.
However, this little habit of his was now becoming a little less frequent. Often now, she was the one who would have to ask JARVIS to inform him that she had arrived to get Tony out of the lab.
Of course with all this going on and so much on his back she thought that he was just overworking himself trying to create the Avengers new and better technology.
Tonight she watched Tony as he moved around the living room, talking nonstop about an incident he had in the lab with DUM-E and U.
"Are you okay?" she questioned when he finally shut up to drink some water.
"Yeah." He frowned as he looked at her, making Pepper lift her eyebrows at him.
"You seem a little more agitated than normal… and that means a lot!"
Think about a hyperactive puppy. Now multiply that three times. That would be Tony this particular evening! She thought.
"I just couldn't sleep tonight," he admitted.
"Why not?"
"Dunno." She kept staring at him until he added: "I don't know.. And I just couldn't sleep anymore. I guess I drink too much coffee?" He phrased it as a question despite not really wanting an answer.
She studied him for a moment. Coffee was never an impediment for Tony's sleep before. Really. She always guessed that he was so agitated and that his trail of thoughts go so fast when he was working that all the caffeine that he consumed was used for his organism during those moments.
"Tony, what's going on?"
"Nothing?"
"Something is worrying you."
He laughed at that. "Really, Pepper.. me?" He smiled and relaxed but that still didn't convince her who looked at him seriously.
"Are you dying again?" Just the thought sent chills running down her spine.
"What?" he asked surprised.
"The way you are acting is very similar to-"
"No." He came closer to her and held her hands. "Honey, I'm fine. See?" He put her hands above his heart so she could feel it beating through the arc-reactor.
"Then what is going on? Because this is not how you normally behave." When he hesitated for a second, she added: "What? Let me help you, please."
"The thing is…" He closed one of his eyes before speaking again. "I don't know if I should tell you…" When he saw her shocked face he added fast. "It's just.. I don't want you to think that I'm rushing things."
"What do you mean? It's okay. There's nothing that we can't solve together, right? What is it?" She decided to sit closer to him and let her hands fall on his lap.
"I… okay here it is… I'm just gonna say it…I was thinking… that maybe, just maybe… you should.. you know… move in… with.. me?" he asked hesitantly, so much that it was kind of cute.
"What?" she whispered
"It's just that. It makes more sense," he continued, sounding a little more confident. "Why do you have to leave? It's good when you are here. And when you are not, it just… isn't right."
He paused for a moment and she remained in silence. Soon he was speaking again:
"I don't want to have to wait in the morning and make an excuse to go to the office just to see you in the morning. We get along very well in that month that we spent together in NY, don't you think so? Or it was just me?" he said, the reluctance was back in his voice at that final sentence.
Pepper smiled at him and ran her hand through his hair.
"No it's not just you… we did get along very well."
"We always did," he added quickly with that damn sexy smile of his.
"But Tony… If we do this… it won't be just for a month. I would be living here."
"I know."
"I would bring my things.. I would mess around the house…" That statement made Tony laugh a little.
"Honey… Look around. You are the one that organizes my house. It is more yours than mine!"
She smiled. "Are you sure? You are used to living alone," she questioned him again.
"So are you. I want you here with me. But if you-"
She cut him off with a kiss.
"I'll pack this weekend," she whispered as she rested her forehead on his.
"Let's pack now."
"Tony!"
"Why not?"
God, he could he so short-lived sometimes! "Because I'll have to separate my stuff, decide what I'll be able to bring or -"
"Then you pack enough for you to spend the rest of the week here and we go back for the rest next week! I'll help you!"
She didn't know how to answer. He had immediacy caught her off guard. Of course she wanted to move in with him. Since they started to date she had pictured that moment and how it was going to be and honestly she couldn't think of any good reason of why she shouldn't accept his request now.
As she smiled at him he already knew the answer and ran for the car.
They did as planned.
That evening Pepper packed her bags just enough to get her to spend the rest of the week.
It was nice to leave work and return to his house – now hers too – knowing that she wouldn't have to leave in the evening. She could just stay there with him.
-o-
When the weekend came, Pepper woke up early only to be surprised by Tony's absence in bed.
When did he get up?
She knew that he had come to sleep late that night, so it wasn't a surprise that he wasn't sleeping yet as he normally did when he spent part of the night working.
She prepared them some breakfast and decided to see what was taking her boyfriend's time.
As she arrived at the workshop she could hear the blasting sound of AC/DC and through the glass door she saw Tony tinkering with what looked like to be an arm of a new model of the Iron Man suit.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"You got up earlier?" she queried.
"Yeah, I had a lot on my mind."
"Can you let that go? I made us some breakfast," she replied.
"You don't need to ask twice."
After breakfast, Tony and Pepper left for her apartment so they could finish packing her stuff. As they packed, Pepper watched Tony for a while.
Something was off with him, the CEO could tell but he was trying his best to act normally around her.
She was putting some boxes together. These were small things that she thought she would need, the rest she would leave there. Her apartment would be closed for now, until they saw if this was going to work or not. Honestly she couldn't think a reason why this wouldn't work... but she also knew that Tony had been living alone since his teenage years so... But he was right, that month that they shared the apartment in N.Y. had gone great.
Domestically really suits him. Who ever thought that about Tony Stark? She smiled at the thought.
The CEO was still thinking about it and wondered what life with him would go like when she heard a huge noise of boxes falling. It came from the room where Tony was and she ran in his direction.
She found him in the middle of the room. Hands shaking as he stared at the box in front of him now on the ground. He was breathing heavily and concentrating so much that he didn't hear her coming.
"Tony?" she called him as she entered the room.
He didn't move. She came closer.
"Tony?" He was starting to worry her.
Nothing. She gently put her hand on his shoulder trying to make her presence known the gentlest way possible, but it scared him and he backed away from her, like her hand was on fire only to, seconds later, look at her.
"Pep. It's you?" he asked, confused.
"Yeah." She studied him. "You okay?"
He looked around for a few more moments.
"I… I dropped the box," he said, looking around at the messy room.
"It's okay." She assured him, running her hand over his chest. But that didn't seem to comfort him. And he kept talking, sounding as confused as he was before.
"Sorry. If anything is broken I'll-"
"It's okay. Honey, you okay?" She looked at him with worried eyes as she run her hands through his hair. That always seemed to calm him.
"Yeah.. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what happened.. I guess I wasn't paying attention."
There were seconds of silence before she added: "You are working yourself too hard in the lab, Tony."
"Sorry… I'll try to slow down."
"Okay." She kissed him gently but he held her closer in need of making the kiss more passionate. "Wow."
"Yeah," he replied breathlessly.
"Is it okay to jump to just to the fun part and leave the room like this?" he hoped.
"Nice try, genius boy. Come on… help me get this room in order and then we can jump to the fun part."
-o-
As they started to live together Pepper realized that this might work out. She had spent years already living in his house only coming back to hers to get some sleep. Some nights she wouldn't even do that since she had a room in Tony's mansion back when she was his assistant.
They were already comfortable around each other and Tony didn't seem to mind her moving some of his stuff around to make room for hers.
As the weeks came by and Christmas was fast approaching some news of a terrorist attack became more frequent. The terrorist called himself The Mandarin. With the holidays approaching, the US government decided to call for back up to deal with this threat and Col. James Rhodes stepped up to try to find this man.
Tony tried to be a part of it but they refused explaining that they could deal with this. Iron Man wasn't needed at that moment. Their negative answer had Tony complaining for days! He had the intelligence, the equipment; he had all the resources to find The Mandarin.
One morning the couple sat in their living room, with DUM-E and U, decorating the room for Christmas. Tony had just put the socks on the fireplace: one for him, one for Pepper, one for JARVIS, and another one for DUM-E and U.
When the genius was done, he sat next to his girlfriend who was decorating the Christmas tree when she asked: "How about we go out tonight?" She put the last ornament on the tree and glanced at the clock. It was time for her to leave for the office.
"Out?" he questioned, looking at her.
"Yeah. It has been ages since we left the house. We could have a romantic dinner tonight and leave dessert for when we get home," she said, seductively holding him close and laying a kiss on his neck dangerously close to his earlobe.
'Humm…"
She smiled at his reaction. "I'll be home by 5pm." She kissed him goodbye and left the house.
During the day, Pepper thought about an outfit that she could wear for their date that night. They were so busy those last few days that, Tony especially, that it seemed like they hadn't had time for each other anymore. She wanted to impress him, to seduce him, to have a night that they deserve.
Later that night Pepper parked her car at the entrance of the mansion. She walked fast, excited for her encounter with Tony.
Once inside the house she was able the see lights on the balcony. Finding this strange, she walked in its direction and she was surprised to see everything decorated. There were candles, the food was ready, wine...
"What the..?" she questioned to herself.
"I thought that it will be more romantic if we stayed here," said Tony from behind her making her turn to see him.
"What?"
"You know it's just you and me..." She was still staring at him feeling disappointed. It wasn't what they had agreed. Then he spoke again. "Why do we need to leave anyway?!" He walked closer to her and kissed her neck.
It wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to go out. See people. Feel the city. To show him off as a boyfriend and then came back to the house for a very hot lovemaking session. To see Tony change their plans like this, it was like a cold bucket of water had been thrown at her.
Still… he was watching her with expectations in his eyes.
"Okay," she accepted.
The dinner was all right. Tony was agitated. He couldn't sit quiet and enjoy the night and their closeness. It seemed like something was bothering him. More than once, she questioned if he was okay but he kept changing the subject.
It was different from their others dates. That night he wasn't able to sit quietly and enjoy her company. He couldn't stop moving or looking around them.
When the food was over Tony excused himself, saying that he just had to figure out a glitch that was bugging him.
"You're leaving?" she questioned, still not believing.
"No, I'm just gonna go to the workshop. There's something with the new Iron man suit-"
"Tony, can't you see what the suits are doing to you? It's distracting you. We haven't had an evening for us in ages! You are always working on them!" she argued calmly, trying to make him see reason.
"I'm sorry, but I need to finish this one."
"How many Iron Man suits have you built?"
"Just a few?" he answered, not looking in her eyes.
"Don't you think it's enough?"
"Look, I'll compensate for the night okay, but I really need to do this." With that, he left the room to work with the new suit leaving her alone on the balcony.
So much for a night with him, she thought, disappointed.
After she cleaned the balcony Pepper went to bed. It was during the early hours of the morning that she felt Tony finally coming to bed, but again, when she woke up he wasn't in bed anymore.
-o-
As the days go by Tony became more and more distant. He barely spoke with her and when he did he always seemed to be on edge. One morning Pepper arrived home from her daily run to see a strange package in the living room.
"JARVIS, what is this?"
"It was home delivered. Ordered by Mr. Stark."
Pepper opened the package. Sleeping pills?
"JARVIS, when did he ordered this?"
"Early this morning."
She knew that recently Tony was coming to bed later than usual and getting up earlier than usual, but she also thought that he recovered those sleeping hours during the day at the workshop. Now seeing the pills she was questioning that.
"JARVIS, did he sleep at all during the day?"
"Negative,Miss Potts. Mr. Stark is still working inthe shop."
She grabbed the pills and decided to speak with Tony, who was as usual, still in the workshop.
"Hey what are you doing?" she questioned as she entered the room. He didn't turn to look at her but she could see that he had bags under his eyes due to the lack of sleep.
"A new suit."
"Another one?" She couldn't believe how often he was working on this now. "Tony, just a few days ago you presented me with the new model. Remember? After out date night?"
"Yeah, well, this one is different," he defended.
"But you didn't even work on the projects we need for Stark Industries!" she said, looking at the files on his work desk. "Honey, you need to slow down with this. Iron Man is distracting you-"
But he didn't let her finish and said impatiently: "No, I need to finish this sequence."
Thinking about his wellbeing Pepper spoke again: "You are so agitated lately that you are barely sleeping."
"Doesn't matter," he responded dismissively.
"Tony." She put her hands on his shoulders, making him lose it
"STOP!" he yelled which caused her to walk two steps away from him. "I need to finish this!"
She looked at him in disbelief, astonished by his violent reaction towards her.
"Tony, there's something going on with you, and you are not facing the problem. Honey, you need help."
"How would you know?" he answered nervously.
She was taken back by his reaction. It was rare to see him nervous. And this level of nervousness, yelling at her for nothing it was new in all those years that she had known him. And it scared her to see him like that. Tony wasn't the one to lose his temper easily, much less with her.
He seemed to realize that and calmed himself down before speaking again.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean that way."
"I'm not gonna argue with you," she replied, hurt by his words and reaction and walked closer to him, leaving his pills on his desk. "Take your pills. Go get some sleep. We can talk later."
She was happy to see that he did do what she told him to.
That same day, Tony was sleeping soundly in their room while Pepper was working in the office. Everything was quiet until she heard him scream.
Pepper ran to their room to find her boyfriend struggling in his sleep with an invisible enemy.
He had nightmares before, obviously, but she had never ever seen him like this before.
"Tony!" She touched his arm as she called him. "Tony… Tony wake up… Tony!"
His eyes opened with violence. He tried to walk away from her hands until he realized that it was her. Still he looked around the room searching for the enemy he was fighting.
"It was just a nightmare," she said gently. He seemed convinced and lay back down in defeat trying to calm himself. "Tony… what is going on with you?"
He looked at her and she could see that he was just lost as she was.
"I don't know," he whispered, sounding so scared that she hugged him, trying to protect him from his nightmares.
"You need a doctor," she advised.
"No."
At his refusal she separated herself from him to look in his eyes.
"Please," the CEO insisted.
"No… I'll figure it out. Trust me okay?" She was about to say something again when he added: "It will be okay… you know I hate shrinks."
She was looking at him with pleading eyes.
"Trust me. Please trust me," he whispered almost brokenly.
"I do.. you know I do."
After he calmed down Pepper managed to get him to sit with her on the couch. DUM-E and U were trying to take care of Tony's mess. At that moment, probably attending some silent JARVIS request, the bots started to walk away from them leaving the couple alone in room. Pepper decided to insist on Tony seeking treatment.
"Tony…"
He looked at her with those big brown puppy eyes. "Help me understand you… What is your problem with therapy?" she asked, quietly afraid it would make him angry again.
"It's for the weak, Pep," he answered, like it was the most obvious thing.
"What?"
"They give you meds that mess up with your brain, and you would be all whinny and girly. I don't want anyone messing with my brain…" There was a pause there and Tony started to look around and when he spoke again he told her what the main reason was for his reluctance to seek psychiatry. "My dad always poked fun of those who would seek for a shrink."
There you go, she thought. Probably the reason why he was so resistant to see a doctor.
"Honey, you are a scientist, you should know better. It's not like that... I think it would really be helpful for you."
"I just need a little rest," he replied, getting up and leaving the couch to go to their bed.
A day after that episode, Pepper sat in her office at Stark Industries. It was a quiet morning and she was worried about Tony. It wasn't like him to behave like that, to be so nervous out of nothing. Not to mention that it had been a while since they were together as a couple. Sex was never a problem for the two of them. Come on! She was dating the man who had been chosen as the playboy of the year three times in a row. Tony loved sex, so does she. And he always bragged with her about the sex that they had and how good the two of them were together. But now… it had been a while since they did it. He was just so nervous and agitated and never slept anymore.
She decided to Google all the symptoms and change of behavior that Tony had had over the past weeks.
Insomnia.
Nervousness.
Loss of interests.
Agitation.
Nightmares.
And she frowned as she opened one article about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD.
"Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to a traumatic event, such as sexual assault, warfare, traffic collisions, or other threats on a person's life. The symptoms can show up weeks, months even years after the traumatic event".
… New York….
That was the only thing that came to Pepper's mind. If that wasn't a traumatic event she didn't know what it was.
Or maybe it was Tony's body finally loaded with so many events that happened to him over the last two years.
His kidnapping, poison, and now the aliens. She knows he has nightmares about the portal. She spent the rest of that morning trying to figure it out how she could help him, so she left the office earlier than usual, trying to be there for him if he needed her to be.
-o-
That same day they had a visit from their friend in the army, Col. James Rhodes.
Pepper, Happy and Rhodey were sitting in the living room of the mansion. It had been a while since Rhodey had visited. Nowadays he was busy being War Machine though they did want to change his name to Iron Patriot and the search for the Mandarin wasn't giving him a break..
He sat there for a while talking to his friends about his last missions trying to find the terrorist and how they were bugging him with the name of the suit.
"Speaking about suits," mentioned the Colonel, "where is Tony?" He questioned the absence of his best friend.
"Sleeping," informed Pepper.
"Finally," whispered Happy relieved.
"What's going on guys?" questioned Rhodey.
Pepper let out a tired sigh before replying. "There is something wrong with Tony."
Rhodey choked a little and let out a laugh.
"I knew this day would come," he said, pretending to be sad. Then he looked into Pepper's eyes before continuing. "Pepper, there was always something wrong with Tony ever since I met him. That's how he basically works. He is weird that way. I knew you would figure it out once you started to live with him. Believe me," he said with humor, joking about their eccentric friend but Pepper wasn't in the mood for it.
"No, I mean there is something wrong with Tony." She was adamant to make Rhodey understand.
The soldier stopped to look at his friends and saw, for the first time since he arrived, how tired they were and how serious they were talking.
"He is not sleeping well," continued speaking the red-haired woman.
Rhodey could see the worry in her eyes and how tense her body was.
"He wakes in the middle of the night, takes a long time to go back to bed. Some nights he just doesn't come back at all. He is agitated, more agitated than normal. And he spaces out. One minute you're talking to him and then the next he spaces out, like he is seeing something that only he is able to."
His friend's description made Rhodey frown. And the CEO continued:
"He is nervous. Tony is not the one to yell at minor things."
It was hard for Rhodey to picture Tony yelling at Pepper for nothing. It was hard to imagine him yelling at her at all.
"And there is also you too, Pep," added Happy in a quiet voice.
"What do you mean?" asked Rhodes.
"He is ignoring her."
At that statement, Rhodey's worries grew. Tony was never the one to ignore Pepper. If anything, the minute she enters the room his attention was all over her. It was always like that even before they were a couple. He seeks for her like plants seek for the sun light.
"Is this true?" he questioned, having a hard time imagining it.
"He… he just doesn't keep me company as much as he did before. Like I said, he never gets out of the workshop anymore." It meant something big. Pepper wouldn't complain otherwise. She was a discrete person. So for her to speak out loud like this it must be really bothering her.
And it was, so much that she started to think it was probably a mistake to move in. And she hated to feel like that because she remembered the happiness in Tony's eyes when he invited her and the day that she moved in. He loved her and she knew he wanted her there. He was sick, but he was refusing help and she would be dammed if she didn't try to help him first.
"He doesn't leave the house anymore, for nothing," she added. "Not even for our date nights. He is always making some excuse to stay there."
"Now that's weird. He likes to show you off. That's how crazy in love that idiot is with you," noted Rhodey.
Pepper smiled at her friend.
Happy was about to make a comment when the billionaire entered the room.
"I thought you were sleeping," observed Pepper, looking at her boyfriend.
"I was."
"Tony… you barely rested for three hours," said Happy, worried.
"So what?" answered the playboy.
Rhodey frowned and looked at his friends who had been keeping him company until the genius arrived. The soldier decided to get up and walk towards his best friend.
"You know what, let's go out for a while," he suggested to Tony.
"I'm good," Tony answered, not looking into the soldiers eyes.
"Come on man. I need to show you this new place."
"What place?"
"It is at the beach, a new pub. We can hang out a little."
Pepper and Happy stayed quiet, seeing if Rhodey would have success.
"I don't feel like driving." That statement left Tony's mouth and felt like a knife in Pepper's heart. Tony always loved driving. He always had an excuse to drive his car at any chance he got. "And you are a terrible driver."
"Come on, Tones, it's been a while since the two of us went out. Right, Pep?"
"Yeah."
Tony looked at his girlfriend for a while. There was something in his eyes that she couldn't put a finger on.
"All right, I'll get the suit."
"What suit?" questioned Rhodey, though he had a feeling he knew what suit Tony meant.
"The Iron Man suit," he said, like it was the most obvious answer.
"Tones, it's a pub."
But the billionaire didn't care. "I'll get there faster. Inform JARVIS where it is. And I'll meet you there."
When the billionaire left, Rhodey turned to his friends.
"I guess I see what you mean… He is not normal… not for Tony anyway."
"Please try to talk to him… He needs help," begged Pepper.
"I'll see what I can do, Pep," he promised before leaving the house.
Enjoy it? Hate it?
Let me know what you think, leave me you review! ^^