You guys are so amazing, truly! I really appreciate everyone's dedication to this story, it warms my heart. I'd like to say an extra special thank you to each and every one of you and rest assured there's more on the way (possibly sooner than we think). EDIT: Hi guys! Moving forward, I will be posting previews of the next chapters on my tumblr, under the same handle, as I work on them. Feel free to check it out! (or don't if you hate spoilers)
"I'm sorry," Sasuke breathed against her neck. Tenderly, he pressed his lips against the spot below her ear, then proceeded along the line of her jaw, before claiming a bruising kiss from her. Slowly, with subtle movements against her mouth, like the brush of his tongue and the nip of his teeth against her bottom lip, he coaxed her into a state of arousal. Though she reciprocated every affectionate pet, she felt she was not aware of her body, where her arms held him, if she had clothes on, or even where they were.
She existed only where he touched her - a hand on her waist, a thumb on her cheek, his thigh pushing between her legs - but she could feel the heat of him, always.
"I am so sorry," he whispered and she tried to open her eyes, to look into his, to see if he was as earnest as he sounded, "For everything."
When she could not look, she tried to speak!
But she could conjure no more than an avid moan.
"You were right," he kissed her hard before pulling himself back, and, for a moment, she was numb, drifting morosely through an infinite void. Then, the graze of his teeth was at her collarbone, catapulting her into a state of being, and another moan was torn from her. Sakura felt the brush of his hair against her shoulder and she reached to grasp for those thick black locks, but found no purchase.
Her body was alighted with a pleasure that was rendering her helpless. His touch became incendiary, as though the sun itself were feeding her this passion.
"There is no use denying it anymore," Sasuke admitted quietly, his lips stealing another kiss from her and suddenly she could see! His eyes, wide and black and filled with such love for her, bore into her very soul.
Yes, she thought.
"We are meant to be together. We will find a way," his mouth twisted into a wide smile.
Yes, yes, she almost screamed! Finally, he understood! Finally, he accepted that a love like theirs was indisputable, irrevocable, and wholly inevitable. His words had put her into a heightened state of bliss and she longed to hold him, to feel him in her arms as they exchanged words of adoration, but still she could not reach him.
"I will go to your father," Sasuke licked the lobe of her ear as he whispered, "And tell him everything."
The sobering truth of his admission ripped her from the void and plunged her into the polar grasp of reality. He was naked above her, hands clasping her wrists in a steel grip as he knelt between her legs. She yanked against his hold, but he held her steady.
"I will tell your father the truth," Sasuke dipped his head into the juncture of her neck and he did not budge even a finger as she thrashed against him, "That I am Uchiha," he pressed his lips to her skin and a searing pain blossomed from that spot, "That my brother was Itachi," tears sprang to Sakura's eyes, but even as she felt herself choking on a sob, no sound came from her mouth, "That I was the first to defile you," he punctuated every painful promise with another kiss that razed an abrasive trail along her skin, "I will tell him you were always mine."
She tried to say his name, to scream out loud, to voice anything that was not a cry of passion.
"And then, I will tell your husband."
Sakura jolted upright in bed, her skin drenched in a nervous sweat that caused her robe to cling uncomfortably to her. In a state of panic, she first clutched at her neck and wrists, ensuring that she retained autonomy over her rattled body. Then her fingers moved to her chest that heaved with the effort of every shaky breath. Her heart raced with uncertainty and trepidation.
It was only a dream, she recited to soothe herself, it was only a horrible dream. Sakura shifted her legs, pushing herself up to a sitting position in bed, and felt a familiar slickness between her thighs.
Her hands dropped to the fabric that rested over her lap. Gingerly, as though she were afraid of what might lay beneath, she parted her robe. Her fingers hovered for a moment, visibly quivering in the dim light. She could not see the evidence of her arousal, but she knew it was there and a wave of shame rolled through her. Even as she refused to attend to the lust pooling in her stomach, she wondered, would he always hold such dominion over her?
She felt that ever present ache pulsating like a beacon that called for the only person who could sate it.
But they never came.
Sakura watched in silence as the stability of her composure crumbled, and finally broke. Tears assaulted her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself.
She was alone and Sasuke was nowhere in sight, but still she felt as though she were suffocating, as though she were still trapped beneath the weight of him. She curled in on herself, sobbing, her body trembling from the raw chasm that had opened in her heart.
There was not enough sun blanketing the land to warm the chill in Sasuke's heart. But just as the ground was beginning to thaw, it seemed that the façade he'd been living was melting away, too. He wandered listlessly back to the barracks without a second glance towards what he had left behind him. His eyes, though trained to his feet, could not stop seeing the look of betrayal on Sakura's face as he spewed his vitriol at her.
Despite what was said, though, he knew it would not be so easy to sever himself from her or their affair. It would not be over so quickly; he knew Sakura well enough to expect another confrontation, or at least her attempt at a reconciliation. He would have to remain resolute when that happened. He could not give in to her.
Or his desires.
"Good morning, Uzumaki-san!"
Sasuke turned to see Lee approaching him with a cordial smile. Just his luck; the last person he wished to see on this already dispiriting morning. Sasuke's jaw tensed in an effort to belay every curse he wished to hurl at Lee.
"I have done as you asked," his tone was clipped.
"Have you now?" There was a lilting humor to Lee's tone.
"What more do you require of me?"
Lee shrugged nonchalantly.
"I did not come to pester you. I merely happened upon you on my walk this fine morning."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He stuffed his hands into his pockets for fear that he might act irrationally.
"As I said, I have done as you asked," Sasuke seethed, "You need not tell me twice."
Lee nodded, thoughtful, then stepped boldly forward. He trained his eyes on Sasuke's, searching for that flicker, that fracture in his practiced stoicism, that flare in his gaze that would tell Lee he was lying.
"Tell me, how is she this morning?"
Sasuke could have snapped his neck right there. The arrogance, the audacity of this man who had deluded himself into believing he had some control over Sakura and her life.
Oh, the irony.
Sasuke breathed deeply. Misguided as he was, Lee was right to do this. If Sasuke did not have the strength to keep himself from her, then perhaps the threat of their affair's exposure did.
"I would not know," he hissed darkly, causing Lee to preen.
"Good," he nodded.
"If that is all, I have other places to be," Sasuke clenched his fists to measure his fury.
"Of course," Lee bowed his head and walked off.
Sasuke watched the nobleman tread through the waking world, his lavish yukata complimenting the bright glow of the new day; Lee blended so seamlessly into the landscape around him. It was simply another reminder that he belonged where Sasuke didn't.
Turning away from the glare of the sun, Sasuke stepped into the darkness of the barracks. He walked along the rows of emptying cots until he found his. The exhaustion of the night had caught up with him, so he pulled out the bag beneath his mattress and pilfered through it for his cotton sleepwear. After changing, he flopped back on the cot and slipped his hand under his pillow. He listened to the trample of receding footsteps and waited until the silence stretched into a comfortable minute that let him know he was alone. His fingers inched through the opening of his pillowcase and brushed against the wrinkled parchment he'd stuffed there many months ago. Softly, he clutched it between thumb and forefinger, as though he meant to pull it out.
Not now, he thought, releasing the paper.
Not when his resolve was so close to shattering.
She started counting the seconds, the minutes, and the hours, but this was not uncommon for her. She associated their time together with the setting of the sun, for he had become as reliable as the promise of night.
But then the hours turned to days. The days turned into a week. Then two. The palace was only so big and she did not understand how he had managed to allude her for so long, but it was clear how intentional and methodical he had been. He had organized that instead of one guard at her doors at night, she now had two, and during the days he had amassed a retinue of unnecessary numbers. Therefore, he had made it impossible for her to even seek him out without raising any suspicions. So, most days, she sulked in her mother's sitting room, the noise of the nobility chattering away warring against the cacophony of her own restless thoughts.
She had forgotten what it felt like to have these fights, to wake up with the uncertainty of their future hanging above them, while the weight of their predicament pressed upon her. She could not deny that even with the threat of her father's return, she had still held the expectation that their affair would continue.
But that night -
It was unlike the many conversations of their future that they had had in the past. He was not himself; something had been wrong. If there wasn't, why would he talk to her in such a way? So crass and vulgar - but also pained. He seemed so. . .
Conflicted.
Sakura straightened herself where she sat by the window. Perhaps she was overthinking this. It was not the first time they had fought over such things and, to her dismay, she realized it would not be the last. Though the way he spoke to her was egregious and unwarranted, she knew that at the core of his argument, he was right. But even admitting it to herself, she felt her obstinance to stay with him grow. Albeit her mind ran in circles as every feasible reason she conjured to stay with him resulted in a dead end, Sakura still found ways to trick herself into thinking there was more than just heartbreak waiting for them. After all, she thought, he was so entrenched within her life that even now, it was not so easy to imagine waking up without him.
And yet, here she found herself.
"It is quite nice out," Hinata remarked, sidling up beside Sakura as she sat at the table, "Should we go for a walk?"
"Oh yes!" Ino begged, "It has been so pleasant lately."
"What do you say, Sakura?" TenTen gave her a soft nudge that snatched Sakura from her roiled thoughts.
"Yes, that sounds fine," she stood and led the procession, guards and all, out into the shimmering day. They passed along the path by the lake that was mid-thaw; a couple more months and the koi would be able to return to it.
Did they know the difference? She wondered, staring out at the softly rippling water that weaved around stray sheets of ice that floated listlessly. Did they understand that for half the year they lived inside a glass cage? Even if they did, the entirety of their lake in the gardens was only a fraction of her world. They only existed because she deemed it so.
Such was the reality of being someone's property, she mused.
"Sakura-chan, have you given thought to what you will do for your birthday?" Hinata asked. Before Sakura could even open her mouth, Karin piped up,
"I heard Mebuki-chan was planning something special!"
"Baka," Tenten smacked her on the arm, "It would not be special if she knew, now would it?"
"It is quite all right," Sakura smiled, "It has not been a surprise for many years. My parents throw the same party every birthday."
"Is it not wonderful?" Ino clutched her hands to her chest as she spoke excitedly, "I just live for the celebrations your mother throws. The drinks, the dancing - "
"Of course, this year we are far fewer in number," Karin grimaced, "Which means fewer prospective husbands to dance with."
"Speaking of which," Ino nudged Sakura as she spotted a figure off in the distance.
"Haruno-sama!" he called out and Sakura turned to see Hibiki waving as he strode towards them.
"Hibiki-san," she gave him a polite smile as he bowed before her. She slowed to talk, her ladies taking that as a signal to give them a wide berth. Her guards then followed suit, falling back to watch, but not listen, "I have not seen you in some time. How are you?"
"I should be asking you that," his brows furrowed, "I heard what happened while I was away."
"Yes," she bent her head briefly, willing the memories to flee from her mind. She did not need to think about that now, "I thank you for your concern."
"If there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to find me," he smiled in a genuine way that seemed to come so naturally to him; it was almost charming.
"That is very kind of you, Hibiki-san," Sakura looked up at him, "May I ask where you have been all this time?"
"I had to take care of some affairs at my family estate," he said solemnly.
"Oh - ,"
"My father passed away."
"Hibiki-san, I am so sorry," Sakura reached her hand out to clasp his, "It is I who should be offering you my assistance at this time."
"You are too gracious," he said, "I am sorry to tell you we were expecting it for some while."
"He took ill?" She asked.
"Terribly so," he nodded, "And it is hereditary apparently. It seems there was more to my inheritance than just a title."
"So you - "
"When I am older," he shrugged and smiled when he saw her concern, "Do not fret. My father lived a good, full life. He did not suffer long," Hibiki shook his head, "I am sorry, we should not talk of this. It is too dismal. Are you excited for your birthday?"
"Yes, quite," she smiled, but in truth, she would rather talk of death and other such atrocities than her daunting birthday celebrations.
"Is there anything you desire for it?" He asked sincerely, but Sakura dismissed the question with a laugh.
"At the risk of appearing rapacious, what could I possibly want that I do not already own?"
"A husband, perhaps?"
Sakura faltered in her steps and looked up at him quizzically.
"A joke," Hibiki said hastily with a chuckle, "It was only a joke."
"Oh," Sakura forced a laugh, "Forgive me, you caught me quite off guard."
"Yes, I apologize," he appeared sheepish, guilty and somewhat hurt that she had been so taken aback by his comment, "But now that I have thoroughly offended you, perhaps we can talk of something else?"
Sakura acquiesced and they walked the length of the lake once, then twice, until her mother, bordered by her own guards, approached.
"Hibiki-san," Mebuki greeted him as he bowed low. When he rose, she took his hand in a sincere grasp, "Please extend my deepest sympathies to your mother and your sisters. Your father was a man of great honor and loyalty, we were so sorry to hear of his passing."
Sakura's cheeks flushed at her mother's words. She had been so consumed with her own affairs that she had not even given thought to Hibiki's absence. It seemed Mebuki was more involved with the people of her court than Sakura was.
"You are as magnanimous as ever," Hibiki said gratefully as she released his hand and Mebuki smiled brightly.
"Pardon me, but could I steal my daughter from you?"
"Of course, your majesty," Hibiki bowed and looked to Sakura, "I am sure we will see each other very soon."
"I am sure we will," Sakura nodded and walked off with her mother.
"There is a surprise waiting for you in your rooms," Mebuki said excitedly and took her daughter's hand, leading her with urgency in that very direction.
"My birthday is not for another week," Sakura grumbled.
"You could think of it as an early present then," Mebuki smiled as the guards opened the doors to Sakura's sitting rooms to reveal the Emperor.
"Father!" Sakura tore from her mother to fling herself at Kizashi. He hugged her tightly, spinning her about.
"I promised you I would be back before Spring, did I not?" Kizashi chortled heartily, "Before your birthday even."
"You always keep your promises," she pecked his cheek and they released each other, "How did it go?"
"Better than I had hoped," he smiled, "Gaara has given us his full support."
"Father, that's wonderful!" Sakura beamed, "Could we win the war?"
"It seems that way," Kizashi was reserved, but he wanted to give Sakura all the hope in the world. For too long she had known the trials of war, had been born into them, and lived in fear of them.
"That is truly wonderful news," Mebuki finally spoke from the entryway where she had not moved since their arrival. Kizashi strutted towards her with open arms.
"Darling!" he scooped her in a hug and kissed her briefly, "I missed you."
"As did I," Mebuki scarcely contained her smile, but underneath it, she was fuming. Still, Sakura was present and she would maintain geniality until she and Kizashi were alone, "Now that you are back, we should talk of a party. This palace could use a celebration and what better way than for your birthday and your return?"
"A splendid idea, my dear," Kizashi hugged her close, "I trust you can make all the arrangements?"
"I already have," Mebuki smirked.
"Oh," his brows raised in surprise, "Perhaps I should leave you in charge more often."
"She does quite well on her own, does she not?" Sakura smiled at her mother proudly.
"I am glad you are home," she patted her husband's hand, "And now that you are, we have much to discuss."
"Yes, yes, of course, but first I must tend to some pressing matters. Kakashi and I must speak with the other advisors. Can it wait?"
Through tight lips, Mebuki replied,
"Surely."
Since his return, the Emperor had sequestered himself in his study. He ate, slept, and delegated from that one room without so much as a step outside for days. With Kakashi steadfastly at his side, they designed their next strategies on the field of battle. They poured over their maps, their inventories of resources, and their alliances in the surrounding territories.
"Now that we have the numbers, I want us to disperse," Kizashi drew a line across the map that traveled through the central location of his battalion. As the war had raged and ravaged, his soldiers had been driven back, reduced so greatly in size that the only hope for survival was to group together in a single emplacement, "I want Naruto to lead Gaara's soldier when they arrive to set up a new camp here," he pointed out the destination on the map, "Izuka can maintain our current position. Then, we will form smaller regiments that will spread through the nearby villages; they will work to reclaim those provinces one by one," he glanced at Kakashi who stroked his chin thoughtfully, "What do you think about Uzumaki-san?"
"To lead an infantry through the villages?"
"A covert invasion," Kizashi nodded.
"He has been well trained for war, he certainly has the skills for it," Kakashi mused, "Might I make a suggestion?"
"Please," Kizashi leaned back in his chair. If there was one advisor he valued above all else, it was Kakashi.
"There is much he could teach the new recruits from the Sand. Many of them have never faced the kind of rigorous training Uzumaki-san has. He could build the regiments here while we bolster our numbers across these regions."
"And then he can take point," Kizashi nodded and motioned for a guard at the end of the room to come forward, "We must get started right away. Bring me Uzumaki-san."
The guard nodded and left.
Sakura stood in front of the long mirror in her mother's room as her handmaidens sprinted around her, fitting her in the jūnihitoe she would wear that evening, but every layer added was another chain that she would have to carry through the night.
"What about a blue coat, dear?" Mebuki laid out a dress of navy silk for Sakura to see.
"No," she answered immediately, eyes snapping back to the mirror.
"Alright," her mother bristled, but she failed to see the tremor of Sakura's lips as she struggled to keep her composure. Flashes of the night of the first attack assaulted her mind: the Akatsuki breaking in to her rooms, killing her guard, shoving her to her knees in a pool of his blood that had stained her navy blue kimono. Sakura breathed deeply and looked to her mother.
"The gold one," she decided.
"For a party in Spring?" Her mother clarified.
"Yes," Sakura responded adamantly.
"Very well," Mebuki went to the vanity where the jewelry had been laid out for her selection. Her fingers skimmed the priceless treasures until she found the piece she was looking for. With a satisfied smile, she took it over to Sakura and rested the necklace against her collarbone, "This will be stunning once we pin your hair up."
"I am not wearing my hair up tonight," Sakura said, causing her mother's shoulders to droop in defeat.
"I do not know why I am even here, then," Mebuki huffed.
"Sometimes a bit of change is good," Sakura gave her a teasing simper, "You taught me that."
"I suppose I did," Mebuki rolled her eyes, then jabbed, "I should have known you would learn to dress yourself one day. At least your father is still hopeless without me."
While Sakura gave a spirited laugh at her mother's joke, she failed to realize the malcontent behind it. Mebuki went silent and grappled with some semblance of a smile, before she excused herself from the room. Sakura's grin slowly faded; she knew her father was busy, but it did not cease the ache in her heart and it was obviously a plight her mother shared in, too. It was one thing to have him gone, unattainable, and another to have him home, but still out of her reach.
But, she thought, she would see him at the party that night. A smile resumed on her face once more, and then she felt her heart stutter when she reminded herself of who else would be there. Sure, it would be out of obligation more so than anything else, but, this was her chance to finally see him, maybe even to talk to him, reason with him.
There had to be more, she told herself, this could not be the end for them.
"Sire," Sasuke bowed upon entering the room, "I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me, I know you have been very busy."
"I will admit I've had little time to think on much else since I returned from the Sand," Kizashi sighed heavily. He was tired, but there was a levity behind his weary gaze; he was securing a hold upon his empire once more, Gaara's troops were mobilizing to join his army on the front as they spoke, and he had returned just in time for the celebration of his daughter's birthday. Everything was falling in to place, "But now that I have returned, I would like to discuss you taking on more responsibilities here."
"Hn," Sasuke gave a half-hearted smirk, "That is what I was hoping we would discuss."
"Ha!" Kizashi chuckled, "I suppose you are in need of a change of scenery?"
"Perhaps that is it," Sasuke nodded.
"As it stands, Gaara was generous in his donation to our crusade. Not only did he send us troops for the battlefield, but he has fortified our numbers here as well. Our forces have not been so formidable since the start of this war," Kizashi leaned back in his chair, "But it would seem I have a surplus of guards at the palace at the moment. They are fine, they have gone through basic training, and I am confident they would do well against any normal threat, but," Kizashi took a steadying breath, "The Akatsuki are not normal, are they?"
Sasuke knew it was simply a rhetorical inquiry, but he nodded nonetheless.
"I do not need more guards, Uzumaki-san, I need soldiers," he said plainly, "And I would wager that none are quite so equipped for the war ahead of us. At least not quite so much as, say, you are."
"Sir, my eagerness to join your war efforts is no indication of my skills," Sasuke said swiftly, "If anything it might speak to my lack of experience in such a subject."
"I see Naruto inherited all the hubris in the family," Kizashi remarked humorously, but he quickly sobered himself and spoke frankly, "No one knows the truths of war until they have lived it. What I need is somebody who understands that. If you choose to do this, it will require skill beyond physical attributes - strategy, efficiency, loyalty - these are all qualities that I see in you."
Sasuke found himself to be rendered speechless by the heavy weight of expectation those words placed on him.
"While we continue the battle against the Akatsuki, we want to focus some of our efforts on recovering the settlements we lost to them," Kakashi explained, "A small regiment, led by you, would infiltrate and liberate these territories."
"You would train them here, as head of our guard, and when you leave for the war, you would do so as a general," Kizashi leaned forward on his desk, locked fingers settled beneath his chin, "What do you think?"
Stupefied, all he could manage to say was,
"Sir, I am honored, but I have no need for titles."
Kizashi eyed him curiously, causing Sasuke to tense.
"Might I ask why that is?"
"I find there is enough honor in serving your family, sir," Sasuke answered, then bowed deeply, "Please do not take this as a sign of disrespect. I would be privileged to take on such responsibilities in the name of the Haruno empire."
Kizashi considered him for a long breath. He was a perplexing man, very unlike the rest of his family. Although, Kizashi held a history with the Uzumakis, he had not seen them, aside from the two brothers, for many years. And while he had secured the brothers' safety out of respect for the Uzumaki legacy, in the interest of diplomacy, he was not able to extend the protection to Minato and Kushina, much to his dismay. The matter of it was that if the Hokage had learned that the Emperor housed the very family he had plotted and succeeded to overthrow in his efforts to claim Konoha, then there would have been no hope of any alliance against the Akatsuki.
Of course, that was no matter now. Gaara's contribution had renewed Kizashi's hope in a victorious outcome.
"You are a humble man," the Emperor said, "For that I must insist that you take this position and the titles along with it. I will not see such potential wasted."
Rather than attempt to fit his foot further in his mouth, Sasuke nodded his acceptance.
"Thank you, sir. I will - "
The doors burst open and Mebuki strode in, guards trailing her as though they had attempted to halt her. The Emperor held up a hand to stop them.
"Kizashi," there was a slight tremor in her stature as she spoke to the room, "Excuse me, I need to speak with my husband privately."
"Of course," Kizashi stood from his desk and gestured towards the door, "Would you please excuse us?"
Sasuke and Kakashi bowed before exiting with the rest of the guards.
"How could you?" She rounded on him as soon as the door closed. She was fueled by a tremulous fury that threatened to consume anything in her path, "He has demanded our daughter's hand!"
"My love," Kizashi held his hands up as if he hoped to quiet her, "Please - "
"For days I have waited for you and all you do is sit here with your envoy discussing whose blood to shed next in this endless war!" She snapped, "Why would you not tell me such a thing?!"
"It was of no import," he took hold of her hands, but Mebuki ripped them free.
"No import? She is our child," Mebuki darted across the room in a tireless pace, "My child as well as yours. I will not have some decrepit warlord with no nobility to his heritage threaten my kingdom and my daughter!"
"Darling," he approached her cautiously, "We need not worry any longer. Gaara has been most generous in his donation," Mebuki stopped at his words and Kizashi took her stillness as an invitation to touch her. He placed his hands on her shoulders gingerly, "This could turn the tide of the war in our favor. He has no allegiance to the Hokage and his lands have not yet been devastated by the Akatsuki's forces," Mebuki softened at this, "He has given us new hope, a chance to recover all that we have lost," as she listened, she slowly began to calm herself, "An alliance through marriage with the Hokage is the last thing I would want for our daughter. Put it out of your mind for I have not even given it any consideration," as she nodded, his tone changed to one of reason, "Gaara, on the other hand, is a fine young man, an upstanding gentleman, and a most gracious host. If we could win this war, perhaps we can discuss an arranged union with his empire instead."
Mebuki exhaled gently; that notion appealed to her. Gaara came from an upstanding family of honorable lineage and was much closer in age to Sakura than the self-imposed Hokage. He would do well as a husband.
"That sounds much more agreeable," Mebuki nodded, but she refused to meet her husband's gaze; she had not entirely forgiven him for keeping such a secret from her.
"Wonderful," Kizashi kissed her forehead, "Then I shall send word to the Hokage that, once again, we respectfully decline his proposal."
"There is no need," Mebuki said as she turned away from him.
"Pardon?"
She started for the door.
"I said, there is no need."
"Mebuki," Kizashi caught her wrist, but she wrenched herself free, "What did you do?"
"I rejected his disgusting offer," Mebuki seethed as she sashayed to the door. She paused, gripping the handle, and tossed a look back at her husband, "Respectfully."
"It is quite an impressive feat at your age," Kakashi remarked to Sasuke as they strolled toward the barracks, "For the Emperor to entrust his future soldiers to you."
"It is no more impressive than Naruto assuming the position of general when he did," Sasuke shrugged.
"In any case, it is good to see you taking such initiative," Kakashi smiled at him, "Your parents would be very proud."
"Hn."
"Have you spoken with them recently? Are they well?"
"Naruto says they are fine, protected," Sasuke shrugged, "I do not talk to them much."
"When the war is over, will you go see them?"
"I do not know," Sasuke looked off to the horizon, where the sunset became reflected in the soft ripples on the lake, "I never thought I would leave this place."
"Careful, Uzumaki-san, do not become like me," Kakashi grinned and Sasuke chuckled at that, "But, might I offer some advice?"
"Hn?"
Kakashi stopped at the door to the barracks, eyes crinkling at the edges as he looked over Sasuke.
"Never forget where you come from."
Sakura's breath hitched in her throat as she stood in front of the interior doors to the great hall. She could hear all the music and commotion on the other side bleeding through the wood before her. She was nervous, so nervous, more than she had ever been on an occasion such as this. She exhaled sharply through her mouth and lowered her shaking hands to her sides. Hinata stepped beside her and straightened the creased fabric on her shoulder.
"You look radiant," Hinata assured her. Sakura offered her a grateful smile.
"As do you," she said, then smirked, "If he were here, I am certain Naruto would have to pick his jaw up from the floor."
Hinata giggled and Sakura felt just a little more at ease. Flanked by her ladies in waiting, she garnered the strength to enter the Grand Hall. Though the music persisted, a hush fell over the crowd as she was presented. The sleeves of her jūnihitoe kissed the floor as she glided through the room, while the large bow of her mo trailed behind her.
In a rare public occurrence, her hair fell like a veil of silk down her back, while shimmering jewels sat atop her head as a crown and smaller gems weaved through her rosy strands. Resting elegantly on her collarbone was the necklace her mother had picked out, the rubies set in the intricate golden chain complimenting the radiance of her gown.
Sakura paused in the center of the room, allowing her ladies to disperse and the general chatter to resume. Her eyes searched along the walls of the hall until she found him. Sasuke stood in the far corner near the front doors - perhaps to be prepared for any possible threat, or maybe to ensure his own means of an escape. They locked eyes for a brief moment and she offered him a polite smile, careful to give nothing else away.
She was teasing him, enticing him, but he knew that. It was a gesture that, perhaps to her, was all in good fun, but Sasuke found it more disturbing than endearing.
These things that he coveted of her - the intimacy felt upon unraveling the delicate coiffure of her hair, the memory of their first words as she wore that very same gown, even that dazzling smile she awarded him in the privacy of her quarters - she had put them all on display for the entire court. And whatever idealistic contemplations he had, shattered at the realization that these things he coveted of her. . .
They had never belonged to him.
And to think, to hope, to dream, that they ever would, was an insidious mistake on his part.
Discomfited, Sasuke ripped his eyes away from her.
With a tremendous effort to retain a sweet smile on her face, Sakura began to walk about the room, bowing to and greeting her guests.
"Could I trouble you for the first dance?" Hibiki approached Sakura with an extended hand. She took it gratefully; perhaps he could be a welcome distraction for her.
"So long as I might trouble you to keep me in time?" Though she meant it as a joke, it had been quite a while since they had held such festivities at the palace and she found those to be the only events she ever danced for. With a soft chuckle, Hibiki led her to the middle of the grand hall. He placed one hand on the small of her back, while the other came up to entwine their fingers.
Knowing the whole of the court had their eyes on them, Sakura struggled to keep her gaze forward. Even after all these years living in palaces, surrounded by devoted noblemen, she still found herself to be reticent under such attentive eyes. She longed for the secrecy of the forest or the familiarity of her bedroom. But as they began to move, Hibiki leading her across the broad floor, she swallowed those desires and followed him.
"You look positively beautiful," Hibiki whispered.
"Thank you," Sakura blushed and wondered if she should compliment him back. Before she could think of anything, he spoke again,
"Are you enjoying yourself so far?"
"Yes, greatly," she nodded, "And yourself?"
"I would guess there is enough food and drink to keep me happy for quite some time," he laughed.
"Is that all it takes?" Sakura meant it entirely as a lighthearted joke, a way to keep the conversation up, but Hibiki fixed her with a curious intensity.
"That, and a beautiful woman."
The music around them swelled into a brilliant cadence and Hibiki quickened their pace, broadening the space on the floor that they occupied. He twirled her out, then back against him. Despite his persistence to bring her ever closer, the layers of her skirts kept them at a distance, and for that, Sakura was grateful.
Lee watched on from the crowds with impatience; surely Hibiki could not occupy her attention all night. Lee had hardly seen Sakura since their last encounter, or since his conversation with the Uzumaki. He turned to look at the soldier across the room whose irritation at the sight before them was discernible.
Lee supposed they could agree on at least one thing.
As if it was not enough to see her in such elegance, not enough to know that this was all ending, not enough to know that he would never be contented lest she was in his arms, now he had to watch her as she swayed in the embrace of another man.
"Uzumaki-san," Sasuke almost started when he heard Kakashi's voice beside him, but he was all too happy to divert his attention from Sakura, "The Emperor would like you to start training the new recruits at sunrise tomorrow."
"Very well," he nodded.
"Why don't you turn in for the evening? Get a good night's rest," Kakashi smiled warmly, "I doubt there will be much excitement beyond this tonight."
"Thank you, sir," Sasuke bowed his head and tried not to bolt out of the doors from the relief of no longer having to watch such a spectacle.
In the cool night air, he, once more, found himself able to breathe outside of the confines of her reach. But then his hands slipped inside the pockets of his pants, and he felt the rough edges of her key.
Almost out of her reach.
He pulled the key out and turned it over in his palm. Such a small thing to hold so much sway over him. Perhaps if he destroyed it, it would alleviate his temptations.
Sasuke sighed heavily and slipped the key pack in his pocket. He had to stop this, to snuff out the flame that still burned for her in his heart, to quell the hope that was still evident in her eyes. He started for her rooms, then thought better of it - he wouldn't be able to explain to the guards why he needed to wait for her in there - and bumped right into Hinata as she hurried out of the bustling hall.
"Uzumaki-san!"
"My apologies," he steadied her on her feet.
"No, I am sorry, how clumsy of me," she seemed reticent to ask, "Are you retiring for the night?"
He nodded.
"Pardon me, but Sakura-chan has requested that you see her this evening, so that she may return the book she borrowed from you," Though Sasuke wondered if Sakura had said anything to her, Hinata was none the wiser. In fact, she treated it as the most ordinary request to come from the Emperor's daughter. Fine, he would play along.
"Of course," Sasuke nodded his head, "I will come find her after the festivities are through."
"Thank you, Sasuke-san," Hinata bowed and left him alone with his thoughts.
Orochimaru stood at the window of his office on the upper floor of the central most tower in Konoha. He overlooked the moonlit stone mountains that surrounded his province, as he ruminated over the document in his hand. The words written across the thin paper, whisperings from his spies across the border, were unsettling, yet, somehow, also reassuring.
But most of all, he found them to be infuriating.
"You asked for me?" Obito inquired as he entered the room. Orochimaru turned his head to the side, glimpsing at Obito in his peripheral.
"Lock the door."
Obito did as instructed, then approached his Lord.
"Read this," Orochimaru, still facing the window, held the letter out. Obito took it cautiously, thumbing the edges of the page before he read through the message. In an incensed breath, Obito folded the paper and tossed it on Orochimaru's desk.
"The Emperor has reinforcements now. No matter."
"They have become desperate," Orochimaru scowled as he turned away from the window, "He is gambling his Empire's future against the might of the Akatsuki. He insults me with his arrogance as he bides his time with what little resources his dwindling empire can scrape together. They are on borrowed time. The Emperor is a fool if he thinks this will sway the tide of this war. He is only delaying his own demise."
"So we strike back," Obito amended, "Our numbers are greater, we can hit them harder than ever before. He will surrender, in time."
Obito's assurance did little to quell Orochimaru's frustration. The failure to capture the Emperor's daughter and weaken the palace had been a most obtrusive bump in their road to victory. If it had gone according to plan, Orochimaru would have stormed the Akatsuki stronghold and rescued her by now, garnering the Emperor's support and respect. Not to mention, his daughter's hand in marriage, which would have secured his place as the next Emperor and ushered in a new dynasty.
"Sir, what of Sasori and Deidara?" Obito asked, "Now that they have returned, could they not be of some use to us?"
"Sasori is ready," Orochimaru capitulated, "But Deidara may yet require more preparation."
He pondered for a quiet moment and then stepped toward the map hanging on the adjacent wall. He ran his finger along the line detailing his troops' occupations.
"We will proceed with a full retreat of our soldiers from every province. Start pulling our ranks out of the smaller villages and send them down to the battlefield. Sasori as well," Orochimaru nodded as he spoke, a calculated chill overcoming his voice, "Even if the Emperor attempts to reclaim those territories, we will decimate his battalion at the front."
"At your command," Obito bowed his head, "Let us end this war, once and for all."
"I need to speak with Haruno-sama," Sasuke addressed the guards at Sakura's residence, "I'll only be a moment."
They let him in to the empty sitting room where he stood for a moment, gathering his wits, until the doors shut behind him. He took out her key, then thought better of it. Instead, he rapped his knuckles against the wood. He heard the creak of her bed and the shuffle of her silks before she threw open the doors, smiling at the sight of him. She drew him inside, turning the lock to ensure their privacy. She'd gone so long without his touch and now he was here, finally, with her again.
But he didn't reach for her, wasn't holding her. He stood perfectly still, an unreasonable distance from her, and with a measured calm that chilled her.
"You did not come here to be with me," it was not a question. The realization dawned on Sakura and she pulled her arms back, crossing them over the waist of her robe.
"No," he admitted, muddled eyes trained on her. For the first time, she seemed so small and fragile to him, as though she were a reed subject to the will of harsh waters, as though he had the power to break her with little more than a word. She watched him, waiting for him to say something, to explain why he was standing in front of her so silent and composed. Kami, even if he lied to her, even if he told her they could be together forever, that he would never leave her again, that he was there only so that he might feel her in his arms again. Anything, she pleaded to herself, anything but the truth. But still, he just looked at her, eyes studying every wisp of hair or flush of skin; it was infuriating. She wanted to shake him and yank him out of his own thoughts, but she stayed herself.
And when the silence became too much, she spoke when he wouldn't.
"I desire only one thing on this day," Sakura's voice trembled against the flurry of emotions inside of her. For a moment, she felt so silly to be nervous, as though she were a young girl professing her feelings to a boy she liked. But then, she felt an oppressive heat engulf her as she stood there, watching him, and she struggled to swallow as her throat thickened. Her trepid frame locked up, but Sasuke just looked at her. And for that second, she was reminded of the man from her dream; he was not Sasuke, but a stranger. She forced the words from her mouth in a quiet demand, "Would you grant me this?"
He exhaled harshly, in what seemed to be relief - perhaps he did not have the fortitude to speak first - and shook his head adamantly.
"You ask for too much."
"Then I am not asking," she decided, frustration edging into her words.
"Sakura," his brows furrowed as she came upon him suddenly. She was no longer the timid reed, but instead the rushing water that battered his shores, determined to overtake him.
"I command this of you," her voice shook, even as she straightened herself.
"No," Sasuke growled.
"As your sovereign - "
"No!" He barked, but she did not flinch from him.
"You dare to defy me?" she challenged. Though he towered over her, a dark and brooding force to be reckoned with, Sakura stood against him while the air crackled between them with every unspoken word and unrestrained feeling. Her eyes were wild, pupils blown wider the longer she looked at him. Sasuke measured his breaths as anger pulsed through him, at her, at himself, at their mutual obstinance. He exhaled deeply and set his shoulders back. This was a mistake.
"Happy birthday, Sakura," he turned on his heel to walk away. Desperate, she cried out,
"Why do you insist on behaving so selfishly?!" she flinched from the sound of her own voice. She had not meant to say such a hideous thing.
"Me?" He snapped and whirled around to face her, a tempest clouding his already blackened gaze, "You have become so accustomed to your own entitled ways that you could not fathom that there might actually be something in this world beyond your possession."
Sasuke blanched; he had never regretted a string of words more than the ones he'd just uttered. He knew the second they were out that they were not true, and also that he could never take them back. Sakura's voice quieted to a whisper as she grappled to compose herself.
"Is that what you think of me?" She would not let Sasuke look away as she pressed him, "That I am greedy?"
"Do you think me selfish?" He retorted, hardened by his angered words and growing resolve, "I am just as guilty for my role in this, perhaps more so. All I have succeeded in doing is taking more from you than I was ever meant to have. We have no life outside of these walls and to fool ourselves into thinking so only perpetuates more of this agony."
"It is more than a life," Sakura battled against the lump in her throat, "It is freedom, it is my very sanity that you threaten to take from me," she looked up at him fiercely, "Is it because you are bored that you must torment me in such a way?" Her lip trembled, "Over and over again?"
His fists he didn't know were clenched loosened as he saw the trickle of a tear fall down her cheek. She deserved more than this, more than him, and more than he could ever give her. He refused to believe that she would be better off with him in her life. What good had come from their secretive trysts? What had she possibly gained from those assignations in the forest? What benefit would come from his admittance that he was completely and utterly lost without her?
"It is because I cannot control myself," his voice was raw and solemn as he lowered his gaze from hers, "And you should not have to suffer simply because I desire more than I can have. Our involvement will end here," he turned away as he spoke his final words to her, "I will not disturb you any longer."
"Sasuke-k - ,"
The door slammed shut behind him and the sound was enough to sever her heart completely in two.