Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"

Chapter 5:

I just stood there, alone in the middle of the field, doing nothing. I tried to think, to react, but nothing happened. There was a tickling at the back of my head stopping me from going any further down that road. I tried to get around the wall, but it stretched in all directions.

Then a part of me that I didn't know came forward. The wall in my mind grew stronger and I retreated back. I felt it as it reached out, but without distinguishable words. As I listened I fell back even further. When I saw myself begin to move I wondered who'd caused it. My body moved forward without any input from me. Whoever this person was, he wasn't Whistler. This man was too calm and calculated. It was the voice of the mature man I was growing into. Before long, the sounds in my head became words and I listened along, attentively.

What to do? The correct thing for a Qun who suspects himself of having magic is to speak to an Arvaarad immediately. From there, I would be placed under observation and if I show skills, it would mean the mask and leash.

I nodded. It was the right thing to do

It is an option… However, there were other options available as well. This wasn't necessarily magic.

Again, I agreed. I had no actual proof. I could consult Scribe and ask for her opinion on the matter.

Yes, another option that remains available.

My gaze moved my gaze to the ground and looked down at the mature plants. One thing is certain, this evidence needs to be removed, immediately. To the right were stacked seedlings, ready for planting. Quick as that, A plan was enacted. I watched as my body knelt in the dirt and began digging out the plants, swapping them for the others.

They need disposed of. They can't be seen.

I felt myself coming forward again as our positions shifted and the wall spun. No. This was life. This was my calling. I can't kill a plant I grew for no reason. If what I'm doing is magic I'd caused this, not the plant. All they'd done was to be in the line of fire. They didn't deserve that.

The other presence inside was doing what I'd done, looking for a way back to this side but I remained in control.

What to do with them? I surveyed the area for a solution and found one. There were fields off in the distance of the same type. I grabbed up the plants and headed in that direction. These crops were a little less mature, but the difference wouldn't be as recognizable. I intermingled them with the others, got up, dusted myself off, and headed back to where I was staying with the Ashkaari. I slipped in unnoticed and lay there. Thinking.

Were there any other answers for what I'd done? No, none came to mind. That meant only one thing, I'd inadvertently used magic on the plants. That meant I was... a Saarebas. Try as I might, it was the only answer that made sense. That mature part of me with the cold logic refused to resurface. Without him, I grabbed at the problem but never managed to take hold of it. One thought bled into the other until I was no longer aware of myself. I'm not even sure how, but I must have slept because the next thing I knew it was morning and I could hear Scribe rising from the other room

The previous night came back, magic and deception. I was unable to move. What should I do? Then, a voice deep inside me spoke, but it wasn't me. It wasn't the voice of reason or a more mature me either.

What would-

I lurched forward and was on my feet before I knew it. If it was not my voice then it was the voice of another entity that had come inside unbidden. Someone, or something, was inside me that was not me. That could only mean one thing: Possession! There was a voice and unseen hand inside of me. It'd called upon me to act last night, and I'd done so, thinking it was just my subconscious. The voice had even asked me to dispose of my hard work. Only one type of thing did that, a demon.

Possession. Demons. Saarebas. A dangerous thing.

Panic flooded through me as my breath came, shallow and labored. I have to tell Scribe. It was the only thing to do, for the Qun. I'm a danger to myself and others. Worse, when he'd spoken inside me I'd felt the contours of his personality, maybe even a name. If this were true, there could be no doubt of possession. I heard the steps of Scribe as she walked towards me.

The other voice tried to speak but there was no more room left in my head, only fear. I need to get up, confess, and be leashed! I need to get up! I need-

"Whistler, what's wrong?"

My breathing stopped and my body lurched. Quick as that, I was spattering the floor with the contents of my stomach. Every breath and muscle in my body was occupied on this one task, trying to abandon a sinking ship but I held on and fought back. It was as if the act of emptying my stomach could also purge me of the demon inside. A basin appeared before me and I heaved into it as Scribe made sounds behind me, none of which I could make out.

Other people came as I started to come back under my own control. My mouth was pried open and the contents of a glass jar were poured into it. Something foul and black was slipping down my throat but I managed to keep it down.

A voice behind me spoke. "That should help. Ashkaari, is this how you found him?"

"Yes, I believe he woke up this way."

"Can you please fill me in with more details?"

Their voices grew faint as second person came into sight. "Lie down. I'll place a cold cloth over your eyes, which, along with the tonic, should help ease the pain."

It felt like large invisible hands were squeezing my chest, constricting my ribs inward. I wanted so badly to tell this person, any person, that I was a danger to myself and others but every time I drew the breath into my lungs it went right back out. The harder that I tried, the stronger the invisible hands became until I could only draw short, shuttering breaths.

"Arigena, come quickly! He's worsening!"

They said more, but words failed to materialize into any coherent meaning. When I next opened my eyes, I was in a different room, alone. I felt cold and clammy as the smell of herbs filled my nostrils. When I tried to raise my hand, it failed to respond. I tried again, but got no response. Even the simple act of turning my head could not be accomplished and the effort left me drained as the darkness fell over me.

"Whistler, can you hear me?"

It was a voice I didn't know, but I opened my eye all the same. I think it was one of the healers from before, but I couldn't be sure."

"Do you know where you are?"

My voice rasped as it came out. "N-no."

"I am an Arigena. You have been taken here for healing. Do you feel well enough to speak?"

I nodded.

"Good. Can you tell me what you remember?"

Now, I should tell them now. I need to tell them… something. But what?

"Whistler?"

I took a deep breath and spoke. "The last thing I remember was a sense of urgency. I wanted to tell the Ashkaari, Scribe, something but the rest is a blur."

"What did you want to tell her?"

"I'm not sure. I can't remember. All I know is it felt urgent at the time. I think I was scared."

"Of what?"

"I'm not sure. I can only recall bits and pieces after that."

The Arigena's brow creased. "Could it have been that you wanted to tell her that you felt ill or unwell?"

"… That might have been it."

As I spoke, a feeling of dread began to build. There was something important I needed to say, but what was it? I was going to tell them something was wrong. What was it that had been wrong?

"Do you remember anything else?"

"I woke once in this room and tried to get up, but couldn't."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I think I was too weak."

"That's not surprising. You've been out for two days now. We have you under observation in case what you have is contagious."

"And am I?"

"From what I can tell, no. I'm not sure what was wrong with you, but it seems to have passed. I'd still feel better if you stayed here for another day or two under my care. It's better to be safe."

Safe. Danger. Something stirred in my head. I must have made a face, because the Arigena spoke again. "What is it?"

"It's nothing. It's just some memories returning. I still feel unwell. Can lie back down?"

"Of course. Sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

Yes, maybe I would. The healer left the room and I closed my eyes. What I needed was rest. As I slipped into my dreams, a voice tickled at the back of my awareness.

Yes, rest Lucas. Tomorrow you'll feel better.

I listened to the voice and slept.