Winterlude 2 - Changes

With two new members, we make our preparations and continue training and planning. Winter's end is creeping ever closer, and as soon as we're certain the blizzards are done, we're marching to war again. Everything is focused on that. Everyone looks forward to that day.

I try to remind people rest is a thing. Somehow, I've become the official nag of the Shepherds, taking over even for Frederick. It's a weird feeling.

"The more I study, the more I feel like I'm not suited for this," I groaned, dropping my book in my lap. It was a book of 'etiquette' and gods above, there were too many rules. "Why so many things for flowers?"

"The language of flowers is a wondrous thing!" Virion laughed. He was helping me today, and I swore it was only because of him that I didn't just chuck the book out the window. He made it fun. "It allows for such subtle conversations!"

"There's too many."

"It also shows supreme attentiveness. It takes a lot of research and time to perfectly craft a message in a bouquet."

"Why would anyone give me flowers?"

"Well, those who wish to admire you, of course!" He gestured dramatically, nearly falling out of his chair, and I did have to laugh at his silliness. "And, of course, those who will want to insult you without raising the ire of your defenders, or send you into a scandal." He sighed and settled back proper and sipped on his tea. "Unfortunately, my dear, Chrom is quite the political catch. You will have people who hate you on principle."

"Ugh…"

"That said, you also have many allies, some of which are particularly high ranked, or will be once this war is over." He smiled gently at me and gestured to the cup of tea cooling in front of me. "But I do believe you're far overdue for a break, my dear."

"Maybe…" I sighed, and leaned back in my chair, letting the sunshine wash over me. He and I were in some study in the castle, nice and quiet. "The blizzards are calming."

"True. We're fast approaching the end of winter." Virion laughed, but there was a distinct edge of sadness to it. "This used to be one of my favorite times of the year."

"Really?" I paused, trying to remember, and then realize what he was talking about. "Oh, the Winter's End Festival. It's something all of Valm celebrates."

"Yes, it was a celebration of the spring that was to come." He looked out the window too, smiling nostalgically. "My sister, Cassandra, would make new clothes every year for it. We'd hold tournaments and games for three full days, and then on the evening of the third, we'd sing..."

"You'd sing 'Heritors of Arcardia'. I know it." It was said to be written by the 'Shadow of the Empress', a dancer said to be Empress Celica's best friend and confidant. The rumors also said she was the sister to the 'Shadow of the Emperor', a powerful saint. Not that there was much more known, of course. The Unification War had occurred about a year after the War of Shadows, after all. "The one said to be sung from the Mother Mila's point of view."

"Yes, the Earth Mother who provided us food. In the summer, we'd hold the Summer's End festival to celebrate the War Father, Duma." He laughed bitterly. "Though, I imagine many have switched to calling him 'Demon' or 'Fell' Father. Walhart does not fight for his banner, of course. The man denounces gods. But there are many who compare him unfavorably to King Rudolf, who did."

"I always heard conflicting reports on King Rudolf."

"Well, he was a complicated man. But stories favor the simplistic interpretation." Virion sipped his tea again. "Walhart might be similarly complicated, but his methods are crude and bring much suffering."

"I suppose." I looked down at my mug and then back at him. "He denounces the gods, though?"

"Yep. It's part of his recruitment slogan." He said the words dryly. "'Join me and live in a world ruled by man alone!' or something. I don't know if he believes it, or if he is purposely invoking Saint-King Alm I in an attempt to sway more people."

"Well, if the stories are true, he did kill the gods to save the people from their madness." At the same time, though, I couldn't imagine 'a world ruled by man alone'. Grima's claws hung over my shoulders even now. "Still, I don't see why we can't throw a little festival ourselves. If you know the music, I could even sing the song."

"Really?" Virion's eyes lit up at that. "Yes, I've played in the festival numerous times. I know it by heart."

"In that case, let's go over the lyrics to make sure I remember it. I've only heard it a few times, after all."

And so the two of us happily began plotting a small little performance, with tentative plans to ask Olivia if she wanted to dance too. Just a little something to focus on besides lessons, and a little bit of home for Virion. We both needed it.

"So, why is it, exactly, that you want to learn swords from me, Cordelia?" I asked as she, Sumia, and I walked through the slushy gardens to cool off from weapons practice. "You're not planning on using them from a pegasus, right?"

"Why not?" Cordelia asked in return. She reached around me help Sumia steady herself. "They do in the history books, and it'll give an advantage against the axe-wielding wyvern riders of Plegia."

"My fighting style, which relies on dodging and countering, and is perhaps a touch acrobatic, is not suited for fighting. Though, it is suited to your height I suppose." I paused, realizing something as I looked between the three of us. "Hey, you're the shortest of us, and Sumia is the tallest."

"I honestly think that's why Sumia trips so much. You should've seen her when she was younger. All limbs."

"That does make some sense."

"I'm right here!" Sumia protested, turning pink. She sulked at both of us. "Meanies."

"We're just commenting that you're the tallest of us three," I teased, patting her back. She sighed. "You're also the biggest of us when it comes to boobs."

"I… they're not that big!"

"Maybe, but you've definitely got the biggest cup size."

"Well, you can have some!"

"C-Can we not talk about this?" Cordelia squeaked. Now her face was red, and I couldn't help but laugh. "We're off topic."

"The topic being that I highly doubt my style will work for a flier," I pointed out with a shrug. All three of us managed to slip in some slush right then, and it was only thanks to some lucky twists we managed to not all fall. Of course, the three of us had a good laugh about it. "Honestly, Cordelia, a flying healer sounds infinitely more useful."

"That's true. I just worry because my aptitude for magic has always been low…"

"You only need a little magic to heal, from my understanding. And even a little bit of healing can tip someone away from death."

"True…"

"You're just frustrated because you know you'd never be the best at it," Sumia teased. Cordelia grimaced, proving her right. "You don't need to be absolutely amazing at everything, silly. What's that saying? 'Jack of all trades, master of none'?"

"'But infinitely better than master of one'," Cordelia instantly retorted, pouting. "Everyone always forgets the last part."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, and there's only so much of you to go around. When was the last time you and I just went on a relaxing ride anyway?"

"Er… uh…"

"Too long, clearly," I deadpanned. Cordelia coughed to try and hide her embarrassment, while Sumia giggled. "Whatever. Sumia, what are your plans? You seem to be studying with Miriel a lot."

"Yeah!" Sumia replied, laughing. She smiled brightly, lighting up her whole face. "Maybe I'll ditch the lance and just do tomes and staves!"

"So, basically, you want to be a flying Valkyrie."

"W-well, maybe?" She shrugged. "I'm just better with magic, I think. What about you? Are you going to take up a second weapon?"

"No idea. I've only ever had the money for one, so having the option of more is… interesting and not something I ever considered. Definitely not going the magical route, though." I shuddered at the thought. I hated the idea of fighting solely with magic, like my father. "Should I take suggestions from others?"

"Maybe! Maybe a bow!"

"Why a bow?"

"Because they're elegant!"

"Now you sound like Virion."

"W-well…"

A little bit of swaying in the corner of my eye, followed by a dull 'thwump' sound and fluttering red. That was all the warning we had before Cordelia suddenly fainted on us.

"I-I'll get someone!" Sumia yelped, taking off quickly. She slid on some slush and fell flat on her face, but pushed herself up and kept on going. I saw her fall once more before she disappeared around a corner. I worried she'd knock herself out, before shaking my head and turning to Cordelia.

I rolled Cordelia on her back and moved her legs into my lap to elevate her legs. I checked to make sure she was breathing, and brushed her hair out of her face, noticing how clammy she was. Her skin was noticeably paler, and her eyes were puffy. She'd been overworking. I wondered if it was to escape the pain of seeing all her fellow knights die twice.

Pounding footsteps made me look up, and I saw Frederick running down the path. He stopped briefly to catch a trailing Sumia as she almost fell again before kneeling next to me. "Any signs of trauma or injury?" he asked me, voice a little shaky from panting. He relaxed when I shook my head. "So…?"

"I think she's just exhausted," I replied. I helped Frederick pick her up and stood, smiling softly. "Something tells me she's been letting her perfectionistic tendencies get carried away to escape nightmares, but I could be wrong."

"I see." He nodded. "I'll get her to Princess Lissa or Maribelle, then."

"Not Libra?"

"Libra, I know, is busy tending to Donnel at the moment." He smiled kindly and I laughed. "I'll be sure to send a message if something differs."

"Thank you." I waved him goodbye and turned my attention to Sumia, intending to reassure her. However, I noticed Sumia's attention was on Frederick's back, and while I thought it could just be worry of Cordelia, she was definitely pink in the face. Now, granted, that pinkness could've been from falls or the cold, but I couldn't help but wonder...

"Hey, Sumia?" I called. I nudged her to catch her attention and nodded to Frederick, silently asked. She went a little pinker and smiled, but shrugged a little. "So…?"

"I might be falling," she whispered. Her smile was shy. "I certainly admire him greatly. I always have. And he's very kind, very attentive…"

"Has a nice butt."

"Has a nice… Kestrel!" She went bright red and I laughed, unable to help it. "W-well, is it nicer than Chrom's?"

"I'm biased. I can't answer that properly."

"You're horrible." She made a face, and I laughed again. It wasn't long before she laughed with me. "Regardless, I might be. I don't know. I'll see what happens. For now, I'm content being near him. Besides…" Her cheer faded. "I know he's hurting still. What I really want is for him to smile and laugh."

"Then stay with him. No one can be sad for long when you're with them." I linked my arms around hers and smiled. "And if you do decide you like him, let me know. I'll… do what I can to help out. Like you helped me."

"Really?" She giggled and leaned into me. "Well, maybe teach me how to cook so that I don't burn everything!"

"Sure, we'll start now."

Later, we had to explain to Flavia why the kitchens were a mess, between our laughing and her clumsiness, but Sumia and I did successfully bake cookies together without a single burnt one. I called it a rousing success.

"Cordelia works way too hard!" Lissa complained. She and I were having tea a few days after Cordelia's fainting spell. "Oh, if only I was as good at scolding as Libra…!" She sulked, puffing her cheeks in indignation. "Ugh!"

"The last I saw, he had gotten through to her and was working with her," I pointed out with a small smile. I poured some cups of tea for us, and felt nervous. It was my first time really 'serving' tea to anyone. "I… ah… hope you like?"

"Oh, don't fret so much. I'm not picky." She smiled reassuringly at me. "I heard Maribelle is really running you through the paces, though!"

"There's a lot to learn." I hovered my hand over my cup to check how warm it was. "I'm in way over my head."

"Meh, you'll be fine. Remember, Chrom fell in love with you. Don't try to be anyone you're not." She grinned. "We love you too. And we all thought you'd be a nice queen before the lessons."

"For reasons I still don't get why."

"That's fine. I like that you do it without thinking." She giggled and I barely checked the urge to sigh. It really did confuse me. "Anyway…"

"You had wanted to talk to me about something." It was safer to just change the subject. "What about?"

"Oh. That." Her cheer faded and she glanced to the side briefly. "It's… well… it's about what Chrom mentioned. About me getting a l-lover…" She fiddled with her mug. "You probably haven't noticed, and I know for a fact Chrom hasn't because he's super oblivious. But I… I do have a crush, actually."

"Really?" I smiled encouragingly at her. "Who?"

"Lon'qu." She smiled wryly at my incredulous stare. "He's really nice once he lets you near. Plus, you know, he guards Maribelle and I a lot due to us being healers." She looked down, and I decided to wait for her to continue. I wasn't sure what to say or do. The most time I'd spent with Lon'qu was when we cooked together. I still had my own issues getting close to people, and so did he. "But the thing is… is that I know Maribelle loves him too."

"I… can imagine that would be awkward." I winced, thinking of how horrible I'd felt when I'd realized Sumia and I loved the same person. "Do you plan on telling her?"

"Nope." Her words were surprisingly firm. "You're the only person who's going to know. Don't tell anyone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep." She looked up at me, and managed a smile. She looked ready to cry despite it, though. "See, I know Maribelle. If I show any interest, she'd back away." She moved her mug to the side a bit and rested her arms on the table. "That's just how she is. My happiness is more important than hers, in her eyes." She sighed, resting her face in her arms. "So… yeah. If you can subtly get Chrom to not tease me like that?"

"Are you sure you won't tell Chrom directly?"

"No way! He's a boy!" She lifted her head to pout and I just had to laugh. "You don't tell boys stuff like this!" Her pout softened for a smile. "Thank you, by the way."

"...For…?"

"One, for listening. I've been sitting on it for ages."

"Well, of course I'll listen. And I won't tell. Promise."

"Yay~" She straightened in her seat. "For two… thank you for making Chrom happy. He smiles a lot. I'm glad." She picked up her mug again, and this time, sipped it. "When I was bawling about Emm, he wouldn't let himself cry. He just held and supported me. Because that's how he is. Chrom is my annoying protective, dorky, sweet big brother. I'm happy he's happy. I hope, one day, I get to be happy in the same way, but you know, I'm pretty happy in general." She hopped to her feet suddenly and stretched her hands above her head. Like she had to move to prove her words to herself. "My sister is dead, and I'll never get her back. I've seen people die left and right, and I'll never get their screams out of my head. But I have all these friends willing to help me. I have my brother. There's that stupid war, of course, but…"

"I understand, I think." I smiled back, laughing a little. All things considered, I was very happy too. "Still, don't force yourself to be happy."

"I won't." She giggled and took a sip of her tea. "Oh, wow, this is so good, Kestrel!"

"Is it? Good!" I breathed a sigh of relief. "Regardless, that sounds like a good point for a subject change. How goes your axe training?"

"It sucks, but I'm improving!" And Lissa babbled about her training, and I listened attentively, making sympathetic noises when appropriate.

I thought that was more of what she'd needed. She no longer had Emmeryn to 'consult' for big sister things. She… wanted to know if she could do the same with me, and I hoped I was up for it. I really did like her.

"You know… this started as something small," I complained as Maribelle brushed out my hair. She had a bunch of hairpins in her mouth, though I wasn't sure what for. "Very small."

"Well, darling, Basilio decided it would be good for the troops," Maribelle replied. It was remarkably how coherent she was with those hairpins. "Hold your head still."

"Sorry." I sighed, and closed my eyes, to exasperated by all of this. "We didn't even tell him. He eavesdropped."

"To be fair, you and Olivia were discussing it in a public space." And that was exactly what had turned this simple performance into a grand thing for the troops. A day or so after I'd talked to Lissa, I'd been asking Olivia how she knew a Valmese dance (she learned it from traveling dancers), and Basilio had jumped into the conversation from there. "Head. Still."

"Sorry." So, instead of just wearing my normal clothes, I had to get 'dressed up'. Thank the gods I had Maribelle to worry about it for me, as I had no idea about any of the colors. "Who is handling Cordelia and Olivia again?"

"Sumia and Lissa. Gaius is helping Virion and Stahl. Mostly Stahl." There was a tap sound, like she'd set something down. "I'm so glad we can hear Cordelia play again. She played for Chrom's last birthday, you see." There was a tug on my hair. "I'm surprised Stahl is so good, though. He must've practiced quite a bit."

"I still feel bad they got strongarmed into playing with us." I wasn't sure Basilio had given them a choice once he 'happened to overhear' them practicing. They'd barely had a few days to learn the music for this! "I'd planned on this being relaxing."

"Well, it'll be relaxing for the audience." Little pinpricks hit my scalp and I had to resist the urge to squirm. "I still can't believe Anna managed to get us so many nice clothes on such short notice."

"It feels weird."

"That's just because you're not used to wearing such fancy clothes, darling. I assure you; it suits you beautifully. I would've made you change if not." She tugged some strands of hair by my face. "Open your eyes, darling."

"Must I?" I resisted the urge to groan and did as she asked. I caught sight of my reflection, though, and turned away. I caught a brief glimpse of how she had my hair pinned up, with little ringlets by my face. That was it. "Eyes are open."

"You should see yourself."

"I hate my reflection. I see my father in me."

"...Ah." She reached around and dragged some sort of scarf across the mirror, blocking it. "In that case, look at me." She stepped to my side, and I looked up at her, touched that she'd just… went with it. "Yes, that'll do. You look lovely, darling."

"I'll take your word for it." I stood up slowly, and grimaced at how my dress swished about my legs. It was greens and golds, with no sleeves and a very long skirt. "This feels weird."

"You're just not used to it. But the dresses tailored for you can be made more subtle and simple." She smiled warmly and took my hands in hers. "I'll head out to the audience for now. Just think of this as practical application for the poise lessons we were going through."

"I'll try." I did manage to smile back, and she winked before skipping out of the 'dressing room'. I glanced around, noticing that I was the only one here, and heading out through a different door, towards the 'wings of the stage'.

The others smiled they saw me, with Stahl bowing and Virion giving me a wink. Cordelia, fully recovered though still a little pale, checked the tuning of her harp, while Olivia, dressed in a different dancer's costume than I'd last seen her in, was actually peeking out front. Morbidly curious, I leaned over her shoulder, and nearly whimpered when I saw how many people were gathered.

"I'm going to be sick," I whispered, stepping back. I tried to think of Maribelle's poise lessons, but they were drowning in the nausea. "Oh, no, I'm seriously going to be sick…"

"I know! There's a lot of people," Olivia murmured. Still she smiled gently at me, and took my hand. "B-but, once we start performing, it's not so bad. Mostly."

"...You're a professional."

"Yes, and I get nervous in front of crowds." She laughed softly and squeezed my hand. "But this time isn't so bad. We have friends with us."

"True…"

"What I like to do is find people in the crowd that I don't mind dancing in front of and pretend I'm just dancing for them." She giggled. "Try that, okay?"

"...I will." I smiled back, still feeling ill, but strangely comforted. It was nice to know that she, a professional dancer, got nervous in front of crowds. "But we should probably go before we lose what little nerve we have."

"Yep~" She giggled again and waved to the others. "Gaius is going to announce us soon. Everyone ready?"

"Er… sort of?" Stahl replied. He laughed a little awkwardly. "My stomach is in knots. I should've eaten more."

"Just think of the feast we'll have afterwards," Virion suggested. He bowed with a little flourish to us. "We shall do marvelously. We did so in practice, after all."

"Practice is different."

"Not as much as you might think."

"Can we just do a group hug or something?" Cordelia asked. She smiled and held out her arms. "Come on. Hugs make everything better, right?"

Stifling laughter, we did just that, and at that moment, Gaius announced our performance to a loud bit of applause. We gave each other another hug before walking outside to even greater applause. We all took some time to get settled, mostly adapting our 'practice seating arrangements' to a slightly larger stage. My vision tunneled as I looked out over the crowd, and I quickly tried to hunt for people I knew, just like Olivia had suggested.

I found the Shepherds easily. There were right in front, and the ones who caught my eye grinned at me. Maribelle, in fact, gave me a warm and approving smile before pointing in front of her, to where Chrom and Robin were sitting, right in front with Flavia and Basilio. Both of them were beaming at me, and I did feel my nerves ease at all the smiles. I still felt ill, but it was no longer a huge obstacle.

I glanced at the others, waiting for Virion and Olivia to nod, and then opened my mouth to sing. It was soft at first, because of my nerves, but as I continued to sing, I managed to strengthen my voice a little more. Virion, Cordelia, and Stahl matched their volume to mine, as if it was something we planned. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Olivia dance, scarves swirling about her almost like wings, and I took courage from that to sing louder and fuller. By the time I reached the last verse, I'd forgotten all my nervousness. Instead, I just gave myself to the performance. After all, I had people cheering me on. I could make it.

"And though I am gone, just ash in the wind~ One life surrendered, so yours can begin~ Courage, my children~! This is your song! I am the Earth; I will make you strong~!"

Notes on Libra:

Class - War Monk; Reclass - Mage, Dark Mage

The calm and caring bishop who is equally skilled with a staff and axe. He watches over all of us, but keeps his distant, like he's not sure whether or not we're trustworthy.

A very balanced fighter, filling almost any role, though not exceeding in it. It's almost like he puts on different masks to fit the situation.

He dislikes being touched, to the point of stiffening and shying away, suggesting some sort of past abuse. Also hinting to his darker past, as well as a broken present, is his aptitude for dark magic. But his kindness is no mask, whether he believes it or not.

Author's note: Libra's A support with Cordelia makes a mention of her fainting sometime between the B and A conversations. Stahl and Cordelia's supports focus on them learning how to play harps (or, rather Stahl learning and Cordelia practicing). Heritors of Arcadia is the english version of song that plays during the epilogue/credits of Shadows of Valentia. The 'shadows' that Virion mention are nods to the POV chars for the (eventual) Shadows of Valentia novelization.

As an aside: I'm sorry for not updating as much recently. I've been working on original works more, and life has been a liiittle hectic, among other things. I do promise to keep updating, but don't be surprise if they continue to be slower.

Next Chapter - Mad King Gangrel