Chapter 6
.
.
If a picture could tell a thousand words, then right then Chief Bogo's face said just two; they struck down though with the force of a million. I'm sorry.
Kris felt like he'd been hit by a slow car, a heavy weight smashed into his chest, winding him yet creating an odd calmness in his body, as if he were in the eye of the storm. There was no waiting for a decision or fearing it anymore, just the dull and heavy chains of certainty.
He was going to prison.
The others weren't like him, they made a noise. A huge noise. Gasps at first, and then some began sobbing or even begging. His father immediately grabbed hold of him and hauled him in close, his grip so hard that his claws were pricking his back. One dull shock replaced by another, Kris fumbled a little as he wrapped his arms back around him, listening in as he breathed in and out raggedly in between his sobs. "Y-you can't… Y-you can't take my son! You can't take him! He didn't do anything. Please don't take him away from me…"
Kris winced as he heard the pain in his voice, hugging back slightly as he peeled his ears. Bogo was speaking.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "But the decision is made. Please don't make it any harder."
"Just shut up," he hissed, in a rare angry tone. Kris felt himself get squeezed further as his grip tightened, yet he remained stuck in a mental limbo, not sure how to react other than to do nothing. He wished that he could close his eyes, meditate a little, clear his thoughts and find a sensible way to react. Instead he was left with a call to fight from the back of his brain, joined by its mental twin, screaming for him to run. A shaky spectre of fear haunted him, a logical conclusion to stand up and accept it spoke plainly, while all were caught in a deep pit of shock, keeping him lying in place and unable to decide.
"I have to take him…"
"No you don't! You know it's wrong too! You know my boy is good, but you just don't have the guts to stand up against this! I-I do though, if you want to take him you'll have to go through me! I'm not letting him go!"
There was a huff. "Listen. He's coming with me, nobody wants you to have to join him."
That sent a slight shiver of fear down Kris' spine, while a wave of concern washed through him as his dad began to full on cry. "It's okay," he spoke, a paw going up to cradle the back of Kris' head. "Daddy loves you. Daddy will keep you safe, I promise. I promise…"
The tears began to drip from his eyes too, as he closed them and took a breath in. The shock was wearing off and the heavy acceptance was winning out, and he knew what he had to do. But he didn't want to.
"Dr Silverfox…"
He didn't want to go.
"Go away, you gelding!"
He didn't want to let go.
There was a huff. "I'll let that slide if you watch your English and cooperate. Let him go or I will have to use force."
He didn't want his dad to get hurt either.
"Watch my English?" he muttered, before barking out a half mad laugh. Kris' heart beat faster in a very unsettling way as his father's teeth bared. "You're trying to steal my son and you tell me to watch my English! Okay then, how about French instead? I'm a bit rusty but I'm sure you won't mind." There was pause as a second, horrible, half-mad laugh, the laugh of someone with nothing else left to lose, was choked out of his throat, setting the furs on Kris back upright. "Esti de câlice de tabarnak! Vous essayez d'emmener mon fils en prison et vous ne vous souciez que de mon Anglais! Je te promets, je t'enverrai là-bas avant de te laisser le toucher!" There was a sob and a whimper, and Kris felt himself get cradled once more. "Ne t'inquiète pas mon fils," his father said softly, "tiens-toi juste à papa. Tiens-toi juste à papa."
Kris closed his eyes and wavered, but he couldn't help but look over his shoulder at the Chief. He was huge. He was massive. He was patient but it was wearing thin, and he didn't want his father to get hurt, and he had a horrible feeling that that was going to happen.
That was going to happen unless he...
He felt oddly calm as he pulled out of his father's grip, his dad's arms initially holding on but then falling away in shock. Going apart, their eyes met, and his father's looked so lost. "Kris…" he whimpered.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. "I'll be okay," he said, as he fully stepped away. His father's whole body was trembling, and Kris had a horrible recollection of him being on that hospital bed, barely able to move as he wasted away from the inside out.
But just like then, he had to go.
He breathed in and out, keeping himself calm, feeling calmer as the Chief came up to him. "This may be cold comfort, but that was very brave of you," he said. Kris looked up, the buffalo was looking down at the floor as he brought out the cuffs. Silently he put his paws forward and watched them go on, tightening up. "There's another two convicted youth prisoners being sent there today," he said. "One is still to be sentenced, so you'll be in a holding cell for a bit before being put on a bus. -I'll use the time to inform the warden about your situation."
"Thanks," he said, as a heavy hoof lay down on his shoulder and began leading him away. This was happening, he was going to prison, there was nothing he could do. He felt like an empty canvas, though that shattered as he looked behind him. The friends Nick and Judy had brought along looked on with aghast faces, trembling or, in the case of the red panda girl, crying. The bunny herself was looking at him, trying to be strong. "We'll fight for you!" she swore.
"You'll be out in a week at most," his uncle added, looking like he meant it.
He managed a small smile, even as his father collapsed to his knees. But then he burst into tears, and Kris's heart hurt as his Aunt and Nick had to hold him back, stopping him from running after him. He almost ran back, fought, burst into tears and it took all his willpower to stop him doing so. That would just make it worse. He had to be strong, even as he was taken down a corridor. Away from them, away from the warmer part of the building and into the colder and greyer areas and, finally, into a cell.
He looked down as the chief undid his cuffs and showed him in. There were concrete walls and floors, a concrete slab for a bench or bed, a toilet/sink unit and nothing else. Was this his life now?
He looked up to the Chief as he brought out a key to undo his ankle tag. It wasn't like it was needed any more. As Bogo removed it, Kris spoke. "Any advice?"
There was a long pause. "I'd say don't cause trouble, and trouble is less likely to find you. Cause trouble and it always will."
"That… that sounds very sensible," he noted, as Bogo stepped back and the door slammed shut.
He looked around the space, paced it a few times, before sitting down. The silence was deafening. This was it, he was in a cell, a prisoner.
This was his life.
He closed his eyes, pausing as he realised that they were misting up. His lips trembled and he felt a sob coming, but he closed his eyes and got himself into a meditative position, breathing in and out.
This was his life. He couldn't change it. In that case then, he'd live with it, because it would only be his life for a short spell, one that might seem long but, one day, would be over. He'd live with it, he'd be strong, he'd avoid trouble, and with those good mammals fighting for him it wouldn't be long before everything turned out good and right, and he'd be home with his father once more. He just had to hold tight and be brave, be brave for them, to trust in others and be a good mammal, and he'd be okay in the end.
.
.
.
.
"There you are, that's the last of them," Mrs Fox said, as she prepped the last cup of tea. There was little else she could think of doing when they all got home, still reeling from what had just gone on, so she'd gone off to get some tea for everyone in the vain hope it might settle her mind. There was a soft clinking from the side, as one of her new guests picked half of them up and began carrying them over to the stairs. Her gaze lingered on him as he went, the striped jackrabbit who'd given her that baby box at her baby shower.
Her baby shower; she winced her eyes at the thought. That had been the day before yesterday. Things had been good, her family had been together, her nephew had given her and her new little kit a picture book he'd made, and now they were taking him off to jail. She felt her teeth grind from the pain at what had been done to him, and at how powerless they'd been to protect him. The only thing that cut her off was the slight prick of hot liquid on her fingers, the little pinch of pain clearing her thoughts for a second or two, long enough for her to gather them up completely.
Picking up the last of the mugs, she followed the buck up the stairs to the lounge, slowly as she went. Her little kit was getting heavy, she could feel him or her moving about a little, and were she not carrying the mugs she'd put a paw over her bump to settle them down. Moving out into the lounge and placing them down, she did just that, all while wrapping her free one around her brother in law to try and comfort him. She briefly worried that he'd flinch away or snap at her, why wouldn't he? She'd pulled him back as the Chief took his son away from him, she hated herself enough for that now, even if it had to be done, so why wouldn't he despise her?
Instead he did something different, but still notably, maybe even a little bit more so, unpleasant.
He ignored her. He stared forward with a thousand yard stare before slowly reaching out for his drink, cradling the mug with both paws before bringing it up and taking a slight sniff and a miniscule sip.
She glanced away in shame. "I don't expect any explanation or apology to be sufficient," she said. "But I am sorry that I hurt you."
…
"It had to be done," he said weakly, as she looked back at him. He turned to give her a sad look back, before staring down at the floor. "I was… I was acting irrational there," he sighed. "It had to be done, I should have… -I should have been brave for Kris and been mature and thoughtful, like I've taught him to be in his entire life. But right then, right then when he needed me to be me that the most, I went mad. I just couldn't lose him again, Felicity. I couldn't..."
"They were taking your kit away to prison after he'd done nothing," Nick told him, walking over and sitting on his other side.
Mrs Fox nodded. "If they tried to take Ash away from me," she said, sniffing a little and sparing a glance at her own son, sitting in the corner with a glass of untouched canine safe grape soda. "I strongly believe mammals would be hurt, William. You acted like anyone would, and there was no way…" She paused, sniffing again and wiping away a tear. "There was no way you let Kris down."
"He was brave," he spoke quietly. "Braver than I was. He stood tall and walked up to it, while I..."
Mr Fox cut him off before he could carry on. "While you happened to give a display to your son showing him that he meant the world to you, that you happen to love him very much, and that he can always count on your love. As a father myself, I think it's safe to say that I would want my child, were he in such a situation, to know that he was still worthy of all my love and that he was the most precious thing in the world." He paused, looking over to his kit. "Confirmation of that please, most precious thing in the world?"
Ash blinked a few times, before nodding, his dour mood lifting a little. "Yeah, I would. Thanks Dad."
"See," Mr Fox announced, looking at William with a lecturing finger pointed up high. "In fact, I…" he trailed off a little, before then marching right over to a shocked Ash, pulling him into a huge hug. There was a little bit of resistance, more from surprise than any teenage induced angst, but the younger fox then settled and held his father tight. "Just to confirm that I do love you, very much, and I would put all options on the table to get you out of that situation if it was you in his place."
"Thanks," Ash sniffed, gripping his father much tighter. "Even the ones mom doesn't approve of?"
"Especially those ones," he promised, Mrs Fox frowning a little. Ash, meanwhile, gripped him tighter and took a breath in and out.
"That means a lot."
"You're still blaming yourself, aren't you?"
"No. I never blamed myself. I just thought it was supposed to be me."
"Well it wasn't. My point still stands. I love you very much, and your therapist says she'll call you and talk once she's available."
"Thanks," he whispered, as Mr Fox got up and walked back over to William.
"I can categorically say that your son did not, in any way, feel let down by your reaction just then. You're a father, Will, you did what any father would do and what any son would want."
There was a long pause as the silver fox glanced up, before glancing down at his drink. "You're right," he said, leaning down to take a sip, before reaching up with a paw and running it through his head fur. "Or not… I think I need some time to meditate or something, maybe after this, just to clear my head so I can think straight. How else can I help him?"
To his side, Mrs Fox managed a brief smile. "That's right," she said, letting her paw stroke down his shoulder. "No one is mad at you or anything. Take all the time you need."
He looked up at her and nodded, before taking another sip of his drink. "Thanks. And I suppose nobody is mad at me, with the possible exception of my Grand-mère's ghost." He let out a tiny chuckle, though it sounded like he had to put some effort into it. "After the things I said to that bull, she's probably waiting up in heaven with a sink full of used dishwater and a scrubbing brush with my tongue's name on it."
"Uncle?" Ash asked. "Would she actually do that?"
"Oh that and bring a fur brush to my rear end too if I'd said that to her face."
His head tilted a little. "It sounded like you called that buffalo a chalice of the tabernacle or something..."
"I did."
The young fox gave his uncle a sympathetic yet unsure look, as if he was wondering how much damage in the past might have been done and how caring he should be. William clocked on to it though. "It makes sense in the context. I'll explain later," he replied, turning back to his drink.
Ash nodded, before walking up to him. "Anyway, I thought that if you wanted to meditate with someone, you could meditate with me."
William briefly looked over at his nephew, before his features melted a little. "That… Thank you, Ash. That's really appreciated."
The young fox nodded back. "Yeah. Though I kind of want someone to meditate with too."
His uncle briefly looked down before smiling, bringing Ash into a short hug. "Come on then," he said. "It'll do both of us some good."
Ash nodded at that and out they walked, onto the lawn and around the corner to be in the sun. That left eight (and a half) mammals in the room. Mr and Mrs Fox, Nick and Judy, Jack and Skye, and Haida and Retsuko.
"Right," Mr Fox said, looking around. "First off, major plans. Given the prison breaks are off, how about break ins? Get in, steal all the incriminating documents we can get on our hippo and blackmail him into letting my nephew go. All aboard?"
…
"Okay. Do we have any others?"
There was a stunted silence from the room, before Judy spoke up. "I don't know, I mean we said we'd try and find evidence that it wasn't him who put them there, and try to get dirt on the DA. But I don't know where to start." She sighed, her head going down into her paws. "Okay, come on Judy, think, think… He's counting on you."
She was broken off by an unlikely source, Retsuko. "Maybe we should wait a little bit, just get our bearings first. I find it hard to think when super emotional."
"But time isn't something we have on our side," the bunny countered.
"Well," Haida piped in, coming to his girlfriend's defense. "It kind of is."
"-Well, not our time at least," she pointed out, an edge in her voice.
"Hey… I mean, I guess," he said, shrugging as he finished off his comparatively small mug of black tea. He put it down before noticing that Retsuko had barely touched hers, and was all too happy to lend it to him. "But the way I see it, a few hours for all of us to be ready to think straight wouldn't harm him that much, right?"
"I…" Judy began, before looking at Nick. "Spending some time just calming down would be okay? Wouldn't it?"
"Well yeah, I guess so," he agreed.
Judy looked unconvinced, but nodded her head. "Okay then, we spend a little bit of time calming ourselves down."
"I mean, it would be useful," Retusko added, as she tapped into her phone. "After all, if there's one mammal who could scan through this stuff and find out who was what there, it's my friend Fenneko. She's coming over here as soon as she can, and… oh, bringing her boyfriend too."
Nick nodded, before turning down to Jack. "Remember. No comments about his size means no teeth based facial removal."
"Ahem," the jackrabbit said, crossing his arms. "I think you'll find I'd never forget something said with such vivid and Munchausian imagery attached."
"Except for last night when you drank too much and forgot everything."
"Before remembering it at the plot-convenient time," he countered, smiling smugly.
Nick rolled his eyes, before looking at Skye. "He's very rough around the edges, just to warn you."
"I'll be fine," she said, before pausing. "Though I might know someone else who could help. Haven't talked to her in a while, but you never know. Also, Kylie might be someone we want here."
Mr Fox nodded. "With our stellar mammal choice, I was thinking that he could fill in any roles left over at the end, but his feedback might have the potential for usefulness in the actual planning stage. I'll see if I can get him in too."
"Right then," Judy said, brushing her paws. "We call in the troops, and then we brainstorm. For Kris."
"For Kris," everyone said, raising their mugs. Mrs Fox, with Jack's help, then began collecting them all up for a refill. It was as she was promising Retsuko that she'd have a good search in the larder for some green tea that the phone rang, Mr Fox going over to it.
"It's Dr Lupuleli," he said. "I'll go and get Ash."
.
.
.
.
"And… and then the Chief took him away," Ash spoke over the phone. There was a soft pause, a tell that he was closing his eyes, pinching the brow of his muzzle and breathing in and out, before he spoke again. "But still," I began, sniffing a little. "Some part of me still thinks that it should've been me who got taken away. Me who got cuffed and sent to juvie, not Kris, but… -Well, they say it's survivors' guilt. What do you think?"
There was a long pause on the other end as Dr Amy Lupuleli dried her tears. This was meant to have been a happy day for her, a lot of good work done and great things achieved. It had been a while since she'd last seen the young fox, given how she'd been unable to go to his mothers baby shower despite an invite, and on being contacted by his parents she'd wondered whether it was to announce their new baby being born. She'd even had the briefest little flight of fancy that, were it a girl, she might have her name as a middle one or something.
Instead the words had been stark and cold, putting a cold dagger into her heart as she listened on. By the time that she'd heard Ash talk through it all, she'd had tears coming out of her eyes. Eyes she now had to dry, she had a young fox to help after all. "I think it's probably very likely the case," she said, as she closed her eyes and tried to think through it all. To call it a clear case of survivors guilt was an understatement, but now she had to work out how to dig to the root of the issue and get the splinter of pain out of there. After all, she had to help her patient heal.
"Yeah. Thanks. But I still feel it…"
"Well, it's only been a few hours," she spoke patiently. "Trauma like this can take a night of good sleep to heal, a week of waiting, a month… But if I can help you understand it better, that should help you get better better."
"I guess…" he spoke. She wondered if he was smiling a little on the other end from her wordplay. He was, though it was matched with a roll of his eyes. "I mean, is it because I failed to protect Kris? It's not like I could have done anything, and though I should protect him any time I can, he's family after all, it's more that he's been protecting me since… Well, since you and I met."
Amy took it all in, rapping her claws along a copy of a signed release form that she hadn't filed away yet. "Tell me, what cases have there been in the last few months of him protecting you and you protecting him. Not just from bullies or anything, in terms of helping out, like with homework and such?"
Ash paused, thinking back. He then brought out his paws and began counting off. "Well, he usually stands up more to any bullies in the class, he really doesn't like them. I… when I was nervous about taking off my sweatbands and going into a pool, he stood by me during that."
"Sounds about fair," she noted. "Anything you did in return?"
"I…" he spoke, pausing before shaking his head. "Not really."
Her eyes narrowed. "Is that not really because you don't think the things you did count?"
"I… Well I don't think so," he spoke, shrugging. "I mean, I let him borrow my towel and jumper when he was wet and cold, but that's just a thing you do."
"It's a thing you did to help him back."
"Well, yeah… I mean, he seemed to have a big problem with the cold, what else would I do?"
"I don't know," she spoke, leaning forward. "What else was there for him to do when you were nervous about uncovering your scars?"
"I… -that's different and… -okay, you're going to ask me why and I can't think of why, so I guess they're actually not different."
Amy smiled. "Clever fox. Anything else?"
"I mean, we're partners in our comic, but he does most of the fuller artwork and stuff. I'm important to that, I help out and all. -Oh, and when my father announced that I had completed my comic, I pointed out to everyone that Kris was just as important."
Dr Amy nodded. "So, when you were given the limelight, you deferred some of it to him. When you try and describe your equal partnership in that comic, you make it sound like he's the driving force. Yet, from what I've heard, a lot of its more creative twists and turns in the story were your idea. Correct?"
Ash paused, nodding a little. "I guess so. But what's this got to do with everything?"
"Well," Amy began, "remember some of the things we'd been noting in our last few sessions. That you felt, or rather were happy, to be in Kris' shadow."
"Well, I know not to be envious of how good he is of everything and to take solace in my own achievements," he spoke, his eyebrows furrowing a little. "That's what you taught me to do."
She nodded. "It is, but did I teach you to downplay your own achievements? No, I did not."
"Downplaying?" he asked, suddenly confused. "I'm not downplaying what I do…"
"Not mentioning helping him keep warm until pushed?" she countered. "Actively downplaying your role in that comic?"
"But they're…" he began, only to lose his wording. "I'm not trying to… -you know."
"You're not trying or meaning to do anything," she spoke. "But you're still doing it, subconsciously." There was a pause, then a sigh. "Ash, one of the things I was noticing towards the end of your sessions, and which I was thinking of raising in the future, was how you frame your place in the world against Kris. Now, I know that he, in many areas, is a more talented mammal." Who's now in prison, she remembered, the sad thought making her pause and sigh. "So yes, in many areas he will be better than you. That though does not equate to what you do being worth less or smaller in stature, many times it may be but not all of them. However I, and your parents, were beginning to worry that you were framing yourself as someone forever in his shadow. Downplaying everything you do in relation to him. Now, do you know why that is?"
"I mean, he is just, you know, a natural."
She nodded. "Yes. However, may I ask you another question. Why do you wear sweatbands over your scars?"
On the other side of the phone Ash froze, his eyes glancing at the items of clothing in question before darting away, his ears folding down as he did so. "I don't like looking at them. I don't like people asking about them or having to answer questions. I don't like remembering."
"If there was one emotion you would attach to that, which would it be."
He took a breath in and sighed. "Shame."
Amy nodded. "Exactly. Ash, many mammals who've contemplated suicide have processed their past experiences in different ways. I've known mammals who feel regret for putting others through pain, fear at what might have been, anger that they ever let themselves do something like that. You, though, feel ashamed of it. That, and the feelings that led you to it, so you live your life covering up those scars and downplaying yourself when around the mammal who you envied so much it drove you to that state. You accepted a place by his side and made up, very healthy, but you almost found solace in being his shadow. Him helping you were acts of kindness, while you helping him was just 'things you do'. This then leads on to your survivors' guilt."
"How?" he asked. "Because I thought he was the better mammal?"
Her eyebrows raised a little. "Potentially, yes. That's at least one of the possibilities. After all, you viewed him as a better mammal in general. He'd never be caught up in anything like this, if anyone would be, it would be you. So, by some strange logic, you believe it should have been you."
"Okay," Ash said, sounding unsure of it.
"If it's any help, that's just one of a few potential reasons," she spoke, noting his little sigh of relief in response. "I can think of a few and, who knows, it may be all of them at play."
"Right," he said. "And the others are?"
"Well," she said, "you admitted earlier that you regard your suicide attempt with shame. You even felt awkward saying it out loud to me. You don't like thinking about it, being reminded by it, and when you do you feel shame. Now, who's to say that you don't process other traumatic events in a similar way, with shame as the dominant or related emotion?" There was a pause, and a sigh. "I'll be honest, I don't know Kris well. I met him at the group therapy session and bumped into him a few times since. I know him as a very mature and intelligent mammal, and I feel awfully sorry for him given what's happened, but as you were telling that story I wasn't crying for him, I was crying for you. For how much you were hurt."
"But…" Ash began to speak, only to cut himself off and pinch the bridge of his muzzle. "Okay, this isn't downplaying, I'm just stating here and now that he's the one actually being sent to prison."
Amy nodded, unable to stop a small smile growing on her muzzle even with the morose subject matter. "Well done being self aware there," she said. "As for that issue, I don't really know him, whereas I have a close connection with you. A very close one, given that you've laid your heart and soul bare for me. Even though you went through far less, it affects me far more because I'm much closer to you. Of course, you're really close to Kris now, aren't you?"
"Yeah," he admitted.
"So, that would be an incredibly traumatic event for you, seeing him being taken away like that. Your mind deals with that trauma by processing it as shame, an emotion very close to guilt. This all gets mixed up together and, what do you know, you begin to feel that you deserved it."
"Okay, that makes sense."
"You might also feel a kind of karmic debt to him, it being part of the reason why you were trying to make up to him," she said. "Again, the shock of seeing that, both due to how serious it is for him and how it stops you from paying it back, urged you to take on the pain for him. Again, manifesting as guilt. It was your fault, as if it's your fault it's not his and he can be free, he can be safe."
"Right," Ash said. "But I only help him as it's what you do, you know?"
"You mean being a good person, which is what you were doing," she pointed out. "Again, self-deprecating."
His eyes narrowed a little, and he stayed silent.
"Finally, in the early stages you two were sitting right next to each other, and in all that time they may well have been focusing on him. Of course, you didn't know it and, in your view, Kris is never going to be in trouble. Occam's razor suggests that, if any focus is put on you two, it's because of you. As a result, you misinterpreted all of this as being focussed on you, something that you had a very hard time shaking off." She paused, her features hardening viciously. "Something those police interrogators didn't help."
Ash took in and let out a breath. "No, they didn't."
Amy nodded, only to be broken off by a blip on an alarm clock. "I'm afraid I have other patients I need to be looking at, and I was only able to slip this call into a short free spot. However, we will be having a face to face meet up as soon as possible."
Ash nodded and smiled. "That sounds good."
She did too. "It does. In the meantime, here's a little exercise. Write down all the points where you felt guilty, then work out an explanation for them. Were they looking at Kris, asking a certain thing to you, were you feeling something bad at the time? You don't need to answer all of them, and we can go over them together when we meet up. Sound fair?"
"Yeah, thanks," he said, feeling more confident.
"Good to hear," she said, smiling. "Best of luck to you… And to Kris, as well," she added, her ears and tail drooping down. "If he needs any help after this, let him know that I'll be more than happy to be there for him."
"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I mean, he's Kris, he should be fine, but…"
"But prison changes mammals," she spoke. "However strong and brave he might be before, that doesn't tell you how it might affect him… Just keep that in mind."
"I will," he said, as they said goodbye and hung up. He got out and, after not knowing what to do for a moment or two, got to work with her suggestion. Out came a pad of paper and some pens, which he used to slowly write down all the times he'd felt it was meant to be him.
His mother popped in, asking if he was okay. He said he was and explained what he was doing. She left, he carried on, only for her to pop in a while later asking if he wanted anything. He asked for a few treats, which she provided a little while later, noting that those two other mammals had arrived. They would start the planning in a little bit, and it was up to him if he wanted to come.
He asked if he could just finish this one thing, which she said he could. So, he furrowed his brows as he filled in the easy answers before going onto the hard one.
His brow furrowed harder, his pen occasionally making a scribble or two but then stopping.
He paused, closing his eyes, breathing in and out, before meditating for a minute just to gather his senses.
Turning back to the questions, he gave them a bit more thought before blinking, his paws beginning to tremble. He scanned up and down a bunch, getting a new sheet out and writing out some things in a different coloured pen, getting ever more desperate as he did so. He closed his eyes, did some breathing exercises, yet it got worse as he returned to it. Looking around, his tail and ears lowering, he held his arms close to his body and ran out of the door.
.
.
AN: Let's do this again. On a scale of 1-10, how evil am I?
On a serious note, this would be a rough chapter for many of you. Don't worry though, the next one will be a light break from all this angst for one reason. Finneko.