Trigger Warning, themes of abuse ahead;
"Clare, you zoned out for the fifth time in five minutes, are you sure you still want to do this?" Simon waved his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my daydream. It was the following Monday since Seb- 'Bastian' had moved here, and he had already fit in well with all of the group, apart from me of course. Seeing as he had graduated last year, he was supposedly taking a gap year, to 'figure out' and get everything he wanted before starting his studies for economics in the NY college. It wasn't hard for me to see what he wanted to get, as his eyes skimmed over to me for a second whilst telling our group, his meaning clear for what he was trying to get back. He was delusional.
"Clare, you've done it again, is it the coffee?" Simon asked, turning suspiciously to Luke, who just shrugged back at him before returning to his book. I glanced down to the cup, I was in no mood for drinking any. Simon and I were still discussing ideas for the manga, but my inspiration had evaporated, like the steam that rose from the coffee cup.
"Nah, Its nothing Simon, I just don't feel well today." I closed my eyes, the familiar heavy weight in my chest, constricting my breathing, forced me to push my coffee away. Simon regarded my cup before picking it up himself and sipping. Simon looked at me guiltily as I stared at him, confused. "I'm not wasting good coffee if you don't want to drink it." He explained before taking another sip. I shrugged, not in the mood to care.
"what's wrong Clare?" Simon finally asked, looking me in the eye.
"Nothing." My smile was as bland as buttered bread. To be truthful, everything was wrong. Sebastian was here, big problem, he had befriended all of my friends, bigger problem, he was slowly isolating me from everyone again, a colossal problem. He was slowly doing to me what he did back in LA. I haven't talked to either Maia or Jordan in months, and we used to be inseparable, it only took one boy to smash my life up into tiny pieces.
"Clare, is it ab-"
The door groaned loudly as it was pushed open forcibly, in tumbled Izzy, who was laughing loudly with Sebastian standing calmly beside her, smiling too sweetly for it to be true.
"Clary! Just the person I was looking for you!" There was a sort of manic gleam in her eyes, was she slightly drunk? No, she was just oddly happy.
"Why are you so happy?" I asked, curiosity oozed out of me.
"Bastian and I played a prank on Jon." Izzy chortled, bursting out laughing again. Sebastian just smiled again. Sebastian always loved to play pranks, it was clearly one thing he hadn't changed about his personality when moving here.
"So why were you looking for me?" I still hadn't looked at Sebastian properly.
"Oh, Jace was looking for you, he's coming here, and Bastian and I thought we could tag along to." With that, I couldn't help but look at Sebastian as Izzy mentioned Jace's name. He'd found out pretty soon that we were going out. Now his eyes were darker, his happy façade was wearing slightly thin, fury clear in his eyes. He was jealous. But he hung his arm over Izzy as if he was unbothered and laughed with her. Izzy leaned into him slightly, was he trying to make me jealous?
"Oh okay, but I've got to go soon." I supplied an excuse. Yes, I was avoiding Jace. I didn't want him to find out about who 'Bastian' really was, I didn't want anyone else hurt by him, especially Jon or Jace now.
"No worry, I'm here." Jace spoke, emerging from behind Sebastian, who was still standing by the door.
"Don't you want to sit down?" Simon asked, gesturing to the empty seats. Izzy and Sebastian proceeded to sit down, But Jace stayed standing.
"Clary, can we talk for a minute?" Jace asked, trying to get me to look him in the eyes.
"Sorry I can't, I have to leave now with Simon, we're going to a poetry reading now." I quickly dragged Simon out, politely saying my goodbyes to Jace and Izzy.
"What was that all about then?" Simon asked curiously as we began walking down the busy streets of Brooklyn. Loud voices slightly drowning his voice out.
"What was what about?" I asked back, faking an innocent expression.
"Isabelle and Bastiard being so cosy." At least Simon had picked up my hate for Sebastian. I preferred that nickname. I laughed slightly before answering truefully with, "I don't know, Izzy having her fun with the new kid."
"I think that she deserves better." Simon mumbled, brushing his messy curls out of his face. I laughed again but agreed. Izzy didn't deserve to have someone treat her so harshly like he would, over my dead body would he go out with her.
"Why'd you think that?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.
"I don't know, there's just something weird about him, he's always so calm, I feel like it's a façade." Simon's expression was thoughtful.
"I think that too."
"Good." Simon smiled, before adding "Besides, Isabelle should have someone who actually likes her for herself, not her looks." He almost mumbled the end. I gazed curiously at him for a second, I hadn't given much thought into what Jon had said about Simon liking Izzy. But now it was obvious that he liked her.
"So you see her for herself, and not her body? " I asked, Is Jon right?
"Well yeah." He spoke so quietly that I almost didn't hear it, almost.
"You could always tell her that you know." I told him.
"But she'd just laugh at me." Simon nervously defended.
"If that's what you'd think she'd do, then you don't know her that well, just go tell her that." I defended Izzy back.
"Meh, I might. "Simon ended, we walked to the Café where Simons friend Eric was doing poetry in silence. I wasn't lying when I told all of them that I was going there, Simon had been telling me of how 'unique' his friends poetry really was.
Well that was an hour of my life that I'd never get back, but Eric's far fetched attempts to be edgy did help me to forget all of my problems, as he gave me a massive headache. Simon and I had parted ways soon after, he had to get home for something special, and I also wanted to go home.
A shrill ring pierced the quiet alley that I was walking down, I fished my phone out of my bag and saw Izzy's caller ID, the uncomfortable tight feeling in my chest had loosened slightly as I saw her name and not Jace's.
"Izzy?" I started.
"Oh hey Clary, can you possibly come round mine, I need to talk to you?" Izzy got straight to the point.
"Yeah sure, I'll be there in 5 minutes, see you then." Her house was already quite near to where I was already, Izzy said goodbye and hung up, I wondered what she wanted to talk about?
It took me less than several minutes to get to her door, I almost knocked using the massive brass knocker, but Izzy answered before I could do it.
"Hey Clary, come right in. I need to talk to you." Izzy almost whispered. She quietly ushered me in. We crept silently up to her room and she shut the door slowly so it didn't make any noise.
"Why are we being so quiet?" I asked her whispering. Now that her heavy and soundproof looking door was shut, she talked at normal volume.
"My younger brother is asleep down the hall and sound echo's easily here, I normally wouldn't care but our parents just got off a flight with him so he needs to sleep. " Izzy explained.
"Ok okay. So, why do you want to talk with me?" I asked her curiously. The silence that surrounded us felt strange, as if a bubble was surrounding us.
"I just wanted to talk about Bastian with you." Izzy stared at me straight in the eye, did she know? He wouldn't tell her would he?
"W-What about him?" I cursed internally at my stutter.
"Well I don't know really, he just seems so calm all the time like nothing affects him, don't you think?" Izzy asked, but my answer was lost on me, I was having flashbacks again.
January, several months prior;
I heard him open the door before I saw it, my mind was hundreds of miles with my mum and brother, but I was brought back to reality as I was met with the dark onyx eyes of my boyfriend. I was standing outside his house at 7 at night. He'd been acting weird all day whilst we were out with Jordan and Maia. And I was here to find out why.
"Hey." I smiled up at him, he so easily towered over me. He motioned me to come in, not even greeting me. I now knew something was wrong. We walked silently to his room, it felt like being in a bubble.
"Is your Aunt here?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Not for a while, we have the place to ourselves" Sebastian's voice was slightly monotonic. I shivered, he reminded me of Valentine whilst lecturing me over something. Once we got to his room Sebastian closed the door silently, I turned to face him.
"You and Jordan looked comfortable today. Any history between the two of you." Sebastian spoke, looking unbothered, but looking into his eyes I knew that he was anything but.
"What?" I was confused. "We've been friends since middle school, same with Maia."
"Lies." He spat. "You've been cheating on me with him haven't you?"
"Seb, I haven't cheated on you I swear. You don't have to be melod-" He then slapped me, hard. My head crashed against the wall, making a dent in the plaster. Sebastian had never hit me before. Sebastian had never hit me before. the words flew around my brain as I tried to figure out what was happening.
He'd hit me, a tear rolled down my cheek, Seb said that he loved me, why would he do it?
"Clary!" he shouted as a slap echoed through the silent apartment. My cheek stung. Slowly I got to my feet. but before I was fully up, he pushed me into the wall trapping me in his arms. His mouth was pressed firmly onto mine. his tongue forcing entry into my unyielding mouth. I turned my head to the side but he still didn't take the hint as he started trailing kisses down my neck. I started shaking my head. no stop.
"Why did you lie to me Clary? Don't you love me? I love you." He spoke between his attempts to kiss me, I was finally able to push him off me, my vision slightly blurry with tears.
"You don't hit the people you love Sebastian." My voice came out in a chocked sob.
"You do if you find out that they're cheating on you. You're mine Clary!" He shouted before launching himself on me again, his mouth once again persistent, I gave up struggling after a while, it was no use. He was too strong. Soon his hands started to reach for under my top. No!
Present day;
"Clary, have you been listening to a word I've been saying?" Izzy asked, snapping me out of the flashback as she pushed me slightly.
"Sorry, I just zoned out a bit." I admitted sheepishly, my voice shook slightly, I felt as if his hands were still on me, bruises littering my body.
"Well I asked you whether you and Jace are okay, he's been a bit down recently, are things between you two okay?" Izzy asked. The uncomfortable feeling was back again, as was the lump in my throat.
"Um sure we are, Izzy its late, I have to go now." My excuse sounded lame even to me.
"But you just got here." Izzy whined, but I was already rushing out of her house, legs shaky. I was silent as a mouse, remembering that her younger brother was sleeping. Izzy didn't get the chance to even say goodbye.
I breathed a sigh of relief as the door shut behind me, my nerves settling. It was already dark outside, I needed to get home quickly.
"Going somewhere?" A voice spoke from the shadows. I jumped in shock.
"why are you outside Izzy's house Sebastian." I spat, though I was terrorized beneath my tough façade.
"Well maybe I just wanted to see you, seeing as we didn't speak at all over the weekend." Sebastian sauntered towards me, my heart rate sped up with each step closer.
"Was it not obvious that I was avoiding you." I hissed out. Suddenly Sebastian grabbed my arm. He clamped his hand around my mouth before I could make any noise.
"Are you avoiding me because you have Jace now? Come on Clarissa, we both know having a boyfriend wont stop you from spending time with another man. You did it enough times with Jordan." he seethed, how could Izzy ever think he was too calm, his eyes always spoke of anger when he was with me. "Anyway, let's walk you home, wouldn't want any harm coming your way." Sebastian's calmly happy façade was back on. he released my arm and started not to gently pushing me towards moving. My arm stung as blood rushed towards the oxygen starved limb, Sebastian sure had a strong grip.
"I don't care what you think Sebastian, but I never cheated on you." I calmly whispered. He looked at me but said nothing.
"Of course, you don't cheat on those that you love, but did you ever love me Clare?"
"The same could be said for not hitting the ones you love, yet when I arrived at the city, I was covered in bruises." I replied, our pace was fast, my destination being my house.
"You never answered." Was all he said.
"I gave you your answer earlier."
"Can you only-"
Beep beep
I almost jumped out of my skin when the car came to a holt next to me. In shock I turned only to be met with furious eyes. My stomach dropped.
Aaand I'm back! I'm sorry that I haven't updated in more than a month, but I had mocks in December and used my holiday to paint and read. I'm in year 11 so this is my year of GCSEs. Anyway, please review, constructive criticism is much needed for me to grow as an author. Do you think I need a beta?
P.S; I was listening to Lana Del Rey whilst writing this, somehow Video Games reminds me of the TMI gang.
-Ruby |-/