Chapter 7:

Alec had begun to imagine that he and exhaustion were old friends. When he'd opened his eyes and seen Jace above him, he'd started to speak, but the dark rims around the golden-haired warrior's eyes were telling and he saved his breath. His brother looked as exhausted as he felt- or maybe that was just the black haze that had settled between the brothers, like the gossamer veil of a widow at her husband's grave.

But as he'd lain there, feeling safe within his Parabatai's grasp, everything had come rushing back. The bright flash of the needle as he'd turned to try to avoid it, the sharp, tiny surface digging into his skin, the shock and desperation on his sibling's faces when they realized what had happened… But the worst was the realization, as he'd crumpled to the ground, that he'd never see Magnus again- that he couldn't see Magnus again, especially not this way. Magnus would want to save him, to help him, and Alec couldn't risk that. He'd already given up so much for Magnus' happiness, he couldn't bear to take that away, just to save himself. Magnus was eternal- what did that make Alec, except a drop in the maelstrom that was Magnus Bane's life? Magnus wasn't his anymore, but that knowledge didn't lessen the deadly twin grip of love and agony that Alec felt in his soul.

He'd started to fall deeper into the fear and into the exhaustion when he'd heard Jace's low voice, a dangerous tone running through it. As he allowed the muted sounds to flood into his limited consciousness, Alec realized that he was talking about Magnus and his heart clenched. He knows. God, he knows.

But as Jace's angry tirade had continued, Alec found himself wanting to defend his warlock. Not anymore, he reminded himself. But still, summoning the little strength that remained, he spoke, his quiet words reaching the blonde warrior before the haze descended and Alec lost himself, the tug on his soul dragging him further into its black depths./

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When Alec had first spoken, Jace had been elated, regardless of the words he'd said. But as his elation turned to confusion, their eyes had met, and the younger Parabatai froze. Black veins had spread across the archer's eyes, penetrating into his hazel orbs and emphasizing his already pale face. Alec had looked up at him, his brief moment of clarity already fading into confusion as her tried, without success, to settle his unfocused gaze on his brother.

"Jace… What… Jace, I can't- I can't fe… What…Wha… hapn..ng?" Alec's hand flopped uselessly at his side, his fingers catching on Jace's dark jeans as he tried to reach out.

With those words, Jace's felt his already tattered emotions fly into shreds. Every broken syllable had taken so much effort, leaving Alec even paler and covered in a fine sheen of perspiration. Jace shifted to one side, pulling his brother further into his grip, his pale, sweaty head now positioned on Jace's shoulder, his back to Jace's knee. Alec groaned as he was moved, grasping at the blades of grass around him, trying to ground himself.

"Jace gently gripped the side of Alec's face, tilting his head upward, trying to draw his gaze in. "Hey," he said gently, his frown growing as Alec merely blinked, eyes closing for a minute as he winced. Jace stroked his cheek softly, awkwardly, feeling helpless as his older brother struggled. "Hey…" He shook Alec's shoulder gently, relieved when his eyes opened again. "Hey… I've got you, Alec, I've got you. I'm still here, you're going to get through this."

We're going to get through this.

Alec managed a small smile before his expression clouded, his eyes fixed away further away. Jace followed his gaze and felt his heart clench again. The rift in his skin had grown, wrapping around most of his right calf and slowly edging its way up the outside of his thigh. The edges were dark now, the same shadowy color as the lines in his eyes. The scrabbling fingers in the grass increased their pace as Alec began to panic, trying to escape Jace's grip, trying to run form what was happening inside of him.

Jace held tighter, desperately praying as he mumbled whatever reassurances he could think of to the raven-haired warrior, hoping that one of them got through. But when the activity in his arms suddenly stopped, and the glade grew quiet, his eyes flew open and he hastily palmed his brother's neck trying to find a pulse.

"Dammit", he exclaimed, his hands shaking as he tried to remember where to put his fingers, terror banishing Izzy's medical training to the back of his mind. "Come on, come on…" He tried again, his eye straying to Alec's limp hand on the ground- he willed those fingers to move, to somehow let him know that Alec was still there.

When nothing happened, Jace became frantic, drawing out his stele to connect himself to his Parabatai, desperate to see his eyes open again. As he began to activate the rune that bound the two of them, he hesitated, Dot's anxious uncertainty at what her magic might create flashing in his exhausted mind. As his hand wavered over Alec's, Jace made his decision, highlighting the bond between them, diligently watching the elder Lightwood's face for any sign of his return to consciousness.

When Alec had gone into a coma as he searched for Jace during Valentine's war, Jace thought he'd known what fear meant. The desperation he felt to get across the city and to reach his brother in time, to stop him from slipping away had been all consuming. But this was something different. If Alec left them this time, Jace had no idea what to do to bring his soul back. Hell, he didn't even know where his soul would go when it left. It was so unnatural, this gross separation of body and soul- it was an abomination.

As moments past, Jace began to feel the strain, his strength drawn between Dot's magic and the angel's bond. He shook his head to clear it, trying to focus instead on the man in front of him, when he heard a cough and a stuttered,

"Jace… Hey."

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As the haze above him cleared and Alec caught a glimpse of Jace's shocked expression, he winced inside, bracing himself for his brother's inevitable tirade of words.

"Hey? That's the best thing you can come up with! We've been sitting here for hours, my feet are numb, and that's the first clear thing you want to say?"

Alec watched as Jace ran a shaking hand over his tired face, and again he noticed the lines of exhaustion, the bags under his eyes, the tense set of his jaw. Just how long have we been here, Alec wondered. He thought to voice his confusion but sensing his exhaustion, Jace hurriedly answered his unasked questions.

"Before you ask, yes, we're still alive. Dot and Clary fashioned some kind of…" he gestured widely, trying to come up with an explanation. "Some kind of "bubble", I guess. Dot didn't know how to heal you, so she bought us some time instead- it's pretty clever, actually. I don't really understand all of it, but basically time has slowed down for us in here. Hours might have passed already, for all I know, but in here, it might be five minutes, ten minutes- I just know that it's working- slowing down time has slowed down the poison's progress. Dot even said that you might wake up, and you did! Now they just have to get Magnus back here and…"

Jace trailed off, feeling Alec tense beneath him at the mention of Magnus' name. Not again, thought Jace, fully prepared to keep his brother in place, and to force him to accept Magnus's help. But instead, after a few seconds, Alec relaxed back against Jace's knee./

"Dammit", he said quietly, as Jace's brow furrowed in concern.

"Alec, what's going on. You've been off for days; you barely eat or sleep. And Magnus hasn't been around at all- I know running an institute takes a lot, but he's always been there for you. There's something you're not telling me, I can feel it. And I'm not the only one who's noticed- Izzy's concerned too, Clary's noticed- And if Clary can get a read on you, something is very, very wrong."

Alec's jaw tightened at the mention of their sister and the fiery redhead, but gave no other indication he'd heard his Parabatai. Jace stared at him for a minute, anger growing, before he finally gave a shout, startling the elder Lightwood brother as he looked up in astonishment into the rapidly reddening face of his brother.

"Dammit, Alec, come on. This is me you're talking to here, we never keep secrets from each other, and when we have, it's never gone well. You have to talk to me. Whatever's happened, we can fix it. No one's going to hurt you if you talk about it, we're in a magic-proof bubble, by the Angel. God, will you just talk to me?... Please?"/

The last please was said so quietly that Alec wasn't certain he that the word had even been spoken. He sat so still that for a moment Jace thought his outburst had done nothing to persuade him. But then Alec began to speak- of Magnus' desperation, the deal he had made with Asmodeus, and the price he'd had to pay.

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Jace sat stunned- Alec had ended it. As the archer panted from the exertion of the telling, Jace gripped him tighter, his emotions running rampant. Magnus, Asmodeus, the magic, the deal. The unfairness of it, the absurdity, after everything Alec had gone through to finally, FINALLY, gain some happiness- fury didn't even begin to describe what Jace was feeling. He seethed inside, knowing that Alec had felt the sacrifice was his only option./

Jace knew what Magnus meant to Alec. He'd felt his elation, his contentment through their bond, and he'd seen first-hand the change that had come over his older brother. For Alec to give all of that up, to lose the happiness that he'd risked everything for- Jace looked down at his Parabatai, fear striking a chord in his already shaken heart- what if Alec didn't try to dodge that needle. And to share the story, to take on the risk of Magnus losing his magic again- it was almost as if he didn't intend to be around to suffer the consequences.

Jace tightened his grip on Alec's hand as he tried to increase the flow of energy that was passing between them through the bond, as if that strength could will his brother to fight for himself and for Magnus.

He watched as Alec opened his eyes and gave the raven-haired boy a small smile, But as he brought his gaze down to their joined hands, Alec's face distorted into a grimace, the pain of the poison flashing sharply, and his body jerking harshly as the dark lines spread further across his body.

Jace sat shocked for a moment, before trying to draw his brother closer, saying, "What the… Alec? Alec come on, please, please don't do this. Hang on, Magnus is coming, I know he's coming, just hang on a little bit longer."

Jace tried to soothe his brother, to bring him some, any kind of comfort, but Alec was beyond hearing. His pupils were blown wide, their darkness only slightly deeper than the poison creeping through his body.

Alec continued to shake, his limbs moving without any control and his back arching up against Jace's chest. Jace desperately tried to cling to Alec, trying to pull him closer to himself. The blonde warrior closed his eyes, his emotions warring inside. "Come on Alec, Come on. This can't get the best of you, it can't. Not after everything, not this way."

Jace looked up, desperately hoping to peer through the haze around the brothers and see Magnus and the others on their way. What he saw made his blood run cold- the spell was failing. Only patches of haze remained, flickering in and out like an old television set. Jace's eyes widened as the realization hit. The energy that he'd channeled into Alec had been drawn from the spell, leaving it weakened.

Jace tried to sever the connection between himself and his Parabatai, but whatever was holding Alec captive had drawn Jace in as well. As the poison began to progress, and the rift in Alec's body opened wider, Jace felt his heart drop.

We're out of time.