Chapter 9:
Jace sighed as he tiredly rose to his feet, peeling the blankets off his long legs and scrubbing a hand across his face, wincing at the week-old stubble growing there. He was exhausted- they all were. In the nine days since they'd brought Alec to Magnus' Chelsea townhouse, the eight of them had worn themselves thin, trying to bring the raven-haired archer back. They'd put themselves on a rotating schedule, with Jace, Magnus, Izzy, and Clary on during the day schedule, and Cat, Simon, and Dot on the night shift. Madzie, of course, did what she wanted, although Catarina had a knowing gleam in her eye when Simon asked what she was up to.
For nine days, Magnus had toiled over his lover, carefully and gently returning his soul to his body, piece by piece. He worked for hours, with Jace keeping watch, until sleep claimed him at Alec's side. Nearly every morning, Jace found the warlock with his head pillowed on his arms, one firm but gentle hand clasped around his brother's pale, un-moving one. During the day, Izzy took care of Alec's medical needs at Magnus' side, monitoring her brother's body to make sure it, and the machines he was attached to, didn't fail. Catarina had summoned what appeared to be the bulk of an emergency room's life support equipment to Magnus' home, and Alec was attached to most of it, keeping his body alive for the moment when he would finally be able to do it for himself. During the nights, Catarina took over for Izzy and kept Magnus' place, making sure that both Alec's body and soul remained where they were.
As the days passed, Alec had begun to look less and less like himself, losing muscle tone and color, his body limp on Magnus' bed, machines keeping him alive. Jace couldn't remember his brother ever looking so small, and that alone was enough to scare him. Catarina had assured them that it was normal, something called muscle atrophy, but sometimes it was all Jace could do to not rush in and try something, anything, to bring his brother back, to help heal whatever was going on inside of him. Jace knew that Magnus was doing everything possible to put Alec back together, but at times he was envious of the Warlock- from what he understood back at the glade, Magnus had Alec caught in his head, he could still feel Alec, his presence, that he was still alive. Jace was less certain, the Parabatai mark on his body dim and lifeless. He'd sworn to be patient with Magnus, they were all in unfamiliar territory, but he just wanted his brother to wake up again.
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Magnus blinked blearily up at the face of his lover. In the quiet of the morning, Alec looked almost peaceful, the sun shining gently on his face as the cardinal sang outside. Magnus could remember so many of these mornings, where he'd reveled in watching Alec's face as he slept, safely tucked into the Shadowhunter's arms. This morning was but a shadow of those memories, and deep in Magnus' soul, he held the fear that those mornings were gone for good, that even if Alec woke up he wouldn't be the same. And Magnus knew that it would be his fault. This was all his fault. He'd reveled in his own self-pity for too long, leaving Alec's needs far behind and leaving the Shadowhunter feeling as though he'd had no other choice but to go to Asmodeus. Magnus scrubbed at his face, his frustration growing as he took in all of the wires, tubes, and leads that were keeping his Alexander alive. Magnus wanted them gone- while they were keeping him here, they also served as a reminder of how spectacularly Magnus had failed the man he loved.
For nine days, Magnus had relied on those machines as he painstakingly returned Alec to his body, piece by piece, like the most difficult puzzle he'd ever attempted, with no picture on the box to guide his process. As Magnus collected each piece of soul from his mind, he opened the gates to his own consciousness and surrounded himself with that piece of Alec, reveling in what he found, and using that knowledge to make sure he returned that piece to its proper place. At first, he'd felt as though he were invading Alec's privacy, sorting through his thoughts, his memories of thoughts- he cringed with Alec at his embarrassment over his feelings about Jace; he laughed with younger Alec at his first attempt to use a bow, back when Alec's father laughed a little more easily, when he'd been a bit more forgiving of his firstborn. At times, Magnus consulted with Jace, trying to better understand the raven-haired man through his relationship with his Parabatai- a bond he could never quite understand as the son of a demon, but one that he'd longed for, once upon a time.
Now, on the tenth day, Magnus felt as though he'd never known what intimacy meant until this moment, and that all love he'd known until now paled in comparison with unconditional regard he felt for his Alexander. He knew all of Alec's innermost thoughts, his desires, his fears, his wants, his dreams- he'd seen Alec's vision of an Alicante where Downworlder and Shadowhunter mingled without apprehension, where he and Magnus could live and grow without constantly defending themselves. He understood Alec's shyness, growing up in a family where he was held in certain esteem as the eldest son, but where he felt constantly dwarfed by the accomplishments of his younger siblings. And yet, Magnus saw how that quiet fortitude translated into his passionate love for his own person, how Alec longed to protect Magnus from the same feelings of ineptitude and shame that he'd lived with for his own short life.
As the previous day had drawn to a close, Magnus had brought into his own consciousness the final piece of Alec's soul. The piece of him that would occupy his core, the inner guiding force that was the purest form of Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Magnus had been hesitant in reaching for this Alexander, had saved it for the end, not wanting to contaminate this Alexander with his own darkness. But even as he hesitated, Magnus was drawn, longing to know what really kept Alexander going, who he really was, hidden beneath the layers of shame, of hope, of passion. So as he sat beside the nearly lifeless figure, on the tenth morning, Magnus opened up the gates of his soul and encountered… Light.
Tears sprang to Magnus' eyes as he felt a bubble of pure euphoria swell out of the depths of his own soul in response to the brightness that was contained within this Shadowhunter. The light was a bright as a thousand stars, but as warm and gentle as the early morning rays that caress like a mother's touch. Magnus gently immersed himself, wondering how so much light could exist in one person. Inside, he'd always known there was a darkness, one that he kept carefully at bay, contained within from the moment he'd killed his stepfather as a child. It's what made him cynical, what kept others at arms lengths, what made him try to right all of the wrongs in the world- for a price. But in this man, there was no darkness at all- light kept him going, an inexplicable lightness of soul that reminded Alec that each day was a new chance at living, that spring days are a breath of fresh air, and that the conclusion of a summer day with the ones you love righted all wrongs. The warlock drew himself further into the depths of Alexander's light and allowed himself to become completely immersed in it, floating in the brightness and letting some of the darkness that Asmodeus had brought be burned away.
After a few moments, Magnus knew it was time. He withdrew from his lover's mind, from the light that filled his center, until Alec's form was once again visible in the warlock's mind. Magnus reached out and grasped the Nephilim's face, gently bringing his forehead to his own. He inhaled deeply, desperately trying to memorize the scent, and every inch of the raven-haired archer.
"I will bring you back, Alexander", he whispered gently. "Whatever this takes, however long, I will be here. You have given me so much; I can at least give you… You. You will see your family, and you will be you, again."
With that promise, Magnus reached into his own soul, into the love he had there for the Nephilim, and gently brought it out, holding the faintly glowing red light between them, it's flickering glow casting itself on the archer's closed eyes. Magnus gently reached out and pressed it into Alec's chest, watching as his soul absorbed the light, briefly sparking brighter, before returning to its previous hazel color.
"Don't forget me, Alexander- this love, I… I've never, ever felt anything like it. You've shown me how to love myself, my dear, and how to live truly in the light. May my love help guide you back to me. To all of us."
Magnus paused, but as always, Alec made no reply, and the lack of response left Magnus wanting. He softly placed a final kiss on the archer's forehead, then withdrew completely, into himself and back to the bedroom of his Chelsea home.
Jace was sitting beside him, waiting. He'd been the one to pull Magnus away from Alec the night before, when his hands had trembled from fatigue. Magnus had protested, knowing that he was so close to reuniting all of Alec, but Jace had continued to pull, the weakened warlock no fight against the blond.
"Do this when you're ready, Magnus," he'd said. "Alec can wait through the night- we all can. He deserves to have you do this right, not when you're exhausted. We'll all be ready in the morning."
And so they were. The remainder of the group waited just outside the bedroom door, anxious. Magnus thought for a moment that he should be embarrassed for his tears, and yet, after experiencing the light that was Alexander, he found he had no room for that emotion. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hands to his temples and began to draw out the final piece of Alec's soul. As it came forth, he cupped it in his hands, once again in awe that he truly knew his Alexander- for how many in love can truly say the same? He stood up and stepped to the bed, sitting again, gently, beside the raven-haired boy. He cast one last look to Alec's slack face before reaching out, his soul in hand, and gently pressing it into his heart.
The final piece of soul leaped out, as if eager to be reunited, and was quickly absorbed by the Shadowhunter's form, lighting a path inside of his body before it settled behind his heart. The soul flashed again, before falling as silent as those waiting in the room. After a moment, Isabelle dared to speak, saying, "is… is that it… Is Alec complete?"
Magnus couldn't bear to take his eyes away from Alexander, lest he miss the archer's first moments back with them, but knew he must. Isabelle was feeling the separation from her brother as much as any of them. "I… I don't know. I've never done anything like this before, Isabelle. I don't know what to expect. I don't even know if I've done this right, if everything is where it should be, if he will come back as…"
He was starting to hyperventilate, before Madzie quickly entered the room, seating herself again his chest, between the warlock and the motionless Nephilim, calming Magnus' outburst with a gentle touch. Magnus tried to slow his breathing, gently pulling the child towards himself, but she struggled out of his grasp. Reaching up, she gently touched his lips, before bringing her hand down- moving around the room, she did the same to them all, except for Catarina and Dot, who smiled brightly at the child, as if in on the secret. Even Simon came under Madzie's touch, for which he looked completely startled. As she completed her rounds, she opened her tiny palm, showing them all the bright spark glowing there. As they looked on, each noticed first one color, then another, in the flame's glow, before she covered it again and turned towards the boy on the bed.
Madzie climbed up next to him and made herself comfortable. Opening her palms, she held the flame in her hands, quietly whispering what no one could hear, before she reached out and gently placed the spark of flame onto Alec's chest, where it quickly raced into his body, to the exact spot they'd seen his soul disappear. As it struck, it sparked, and a hazel light began to race around Alec's body, lighting up the same line that darkness had divided. As it completed its journey, the light flared for a moment, startling everyone, before dimming, until the room returned to normal.
As Madzie stepped off of the bed, Magnus turned to her, puzzled- but before he could ask a question, a quiet inhale left the group astounded. Magnus and Jace leaned over Alec, as Catarina walked quickly to one of the monitors watching over Alec. "He's breathing over the vent," she exclaimed happily, as the others began to smile.
Magnus ran his fingers through his hair, relief spreading through him. Alec had yet to open his eyes, or speak, but he was complete and Magnus felt he could breathe again. He turned to Madzie, a question in his eyes, but she simply smiled, and said "you brought him back together, to one place, but it took all of us to remind him where he belongs".