Chapter 39
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Eventually, as the day slipped away, the protest began to ebb down and fade, their point made. Nick and Judy clocked out, returning back to the Fox family house with Mr Fox, Finnick and Kylie. Mrs Fox greeted them with some hot drinks, before showing a nice vase filled with flowers that had been delivered during the day as a gift. Judy smiled at the gesture, while Mrs Fox worked away some of her worries by rearranging the snapdragons and foxgloves, finding them a nice place in the centre of the lounge. The rest checked in on the girls and, seeing their work going well, they began the long and awkward wait for everything else to be ready.
A wait cut in by the return of one mammal.
"Hey Mr…" Nick began, before making a spitting noise.
Mr Fox looked up and smiled. "Good day at school?"
His son looked back, pausing, before sighing. He shook his head.
"Oh, right then," he began, tapping a paw on the ground. "-Find out anything useful."
"No," he hissed, just a bit aggressively. He turned and walked away, running up the stairs to his room. Nick got up to follow him, only to pause as Mr Fox held out a paw.
"Ahem," he said. "My son."
"My bad," Nick said, sitting back down and continuing the awkward wait.
An awkward wait that was cut short as Mr Fox returned. He began to speak, held himself back for a couple of seconds, looked around just a little pained before speaking out again. "He wants you."
"Hey, no hard feelings right?" Nick asked, as he walked past.
Mr Fox gave a gracious smile. "None I'll verbalise, no."
Nick gave a flash of a smirk back before climbing the curling stairs, eventually reaching the door to Ash's room. He gave it a few knocks.
"Nick?"
"Yup."
"This isn't favoritism or anything, I just think you're more qualified to answer than my dad."
"And why would that be?"
"I don't think he really deals with awkward situations… Just sees them, doubles down, and comes out looking pretty fantastic somehow."
"Ah," Nick said, as he slipped in. He saw the young fox there, sitting on his bed, and sat down next to him. "What happened."
"I had a choice," he mumbled.
"And you made the wrong one?"
"I don't know."
"Yeah, but you feel like you did."
He looked up, eyes narrowing. "Why would you say that?"
Nick shrugged. "Why would you call me up here if you didn't?"
Ash looked back, pausing for a second or two before his face scowled slightly, his tail giving a few irritated flicks. He sighed, before looking forward. "I was feeling good… Yesterday, I kind of gave Agnes a talk, and because of it she talked to Kris. She was doing a lot better. And we watched some dumb videos, and I felt happy, as I'd done something good. It was a good feeling, like being a therapist, I guess. I want to help mammals… And then Maisy came along."
"What happened next?"
"She said she had to tell the truth, but then instead of talking about Kris or anything, she was talking about how all sheep are evil and how she needed to know her place under us preds or some stuff like that. And she was going on about it, it…" He paused, his face knotting as he looked down at his wrists, covered by their sweat bands. "It felt like she was biting herself… Just in a different way. And part of me wanted to help her. But…" He breathed in and out, sighing. "I thought that Kris needed help more. So…"
"You took advantage of her and tried to push her?" Nick asked.
He nodded. "And it didn't give me anything, that cheetah cop came in and saw us, getting angry at me, I… -I was just trying to help my cousin!"
Nick's ears were up. "Catano was there?"
"Looking around the school, I guess," he said. "She probably talked to the principal, as later she found me and said that even if I had a good reason and thought I was doing the right thing I should stay out of it…"
"Probably best to do that from now," he said.
"Yeah," he groaned. "But... -Arghhhh! I just messed it up! That was my one chance, and I just scared her! All I did was lose a friend…"
Nick's ears went down. "That's why you're upset, you scared her away."
"Part of me wants to help mammals," he moped. "Part of me wants to find the villains and save my cousin. The first one worked and it felt great. I tried the second one, and…"
"You tried. You did your best," Nick said, shrugging before looking up. "And you know what, great!"
"Huh?"
"Try everything, right?"
"I never really liked that song."
"Well, it's the message that counts," Nick said, bringing an arm around him. "Here's the thing. We all like the idea that you try everything even though you can fail and, what do you know, life is like some uplifting kids movie where you succeed anyway. Well, this is life which ain't quite so good, and this time you failed. That's it. You failed. No biggie..."
Ash blinked. "But Kris…"
Nick broke him off, holding both his paws. "Would expect nothing from you. None of us did. With what happened, we'd have been fine with you staying up here and playing video games…"
His eyes narrowed. "No you wouldn't…"
"Okay, the girls wouldn't. But still, it's no biggy Mr…" He broke off, making a spitting noise.
A small smile flashed across his muzzle, though it quickly receded. "But what next?"
"Well, what do you think?"
"I… -That's why I'm asking you!"
"What do you feel like you want to do."
He breathed in and out. "I have to help Kris."
Nick shook his head. "No. What do you feel you want to do."
"I… -help mammals," Ash said. "But that's what I tried to do today. I tried to help Kris and hurt Maisy instead. Is… Is that what policework is like, for you? How do you cope?"
Nick paused, thinking. "Listen. There's a reason that mammals don't investigate cases they have a connection to. It is hard. On everyone."
"-I thought it'd be conflicts of interest and…"
"-And that too. But… You liked helping Agnes, didn't you?"
He paused, thinking. "Yeah. But to be fair, I was a bit mean to her there too. I just wanted to push her into making some sense, and that was about helping Kris too!"
"Well," Nick began. "Why don't you just go and help mammals for the sake of helping them."
"What," he said. "Like… a therapist?"
"Yeah!" Nick said. "I mean, police work is cool. But you can't solve every problem by becoming a cop, can you?"
Ash paused, thinking, looking down. One paw slowly began rubbing a sweatband. Slowly, a claw found its way underneath it and peeled it back, revealing the patches of bare skin mottled in with the patches of fur. He thought on, a smile coming to his face. "Helping mammals… Like a therapist…" He looked up, slowly smiling at Nick. "I can do that." His smile grew. "That sounds good. That's… That's what I want to do."
Nick smiled back. "It sounds like a great thing to be," he said, patting him on his shoulder. "For instance, you could tell it to a certain old mam of yours who may or may not be suffering from a slight ego dent right now."
"I… -Okay, will do," he said, standing up, only to pause. "I did come up with one thing, though."
"Huh?"
"The woodchuck we bumped into with Duke, Beavis, the bully… He could have sold out Kris, giving that weasel his… my locker details."
Nick looked on and nodded. "Another thing to add to the pile," he said, following the younger fox out. "See, you've still helped your cousin plenty. And let me tell you this, I know he appreciates every little bit he gets."
Ash blinked. "He does?"
Nick smiled, arm around him as they went out. "Of course he does."
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"That's five hundred. You can go."
Kris' eyes shifted as he saw the hare stand up and leave the small side room, wringing his paw as he walked out into the main cell block. His ears tilted as he heard a few of the others calling him over to join the dinner queue, before the door closed, sealing him inside again. Inside, five hundred lines down and five hundred more to go, alone.
Almost, alone…
He winced slightly, taking the pen out of his paws and ringing his fingers. Realistically, he had done twice as much already and had twice more again to do, given that his line was twice as long.
"-I will not get into fights. I will not get into fights. I will not get into fights." He glanced up to see Sarrahson looking through Luke's paper before walking over, dropping them onto Kris' desk, covering up his own. He glanced up, not sure whether or not to move them or not.
She looked down.
Waiting.
Deciding that she held all the power in this game, and that he might as well play along to get it over with, he moved his paw to move them away.
"-Hold it there."
His muzzle twitched slightly. He'd gathered that something like that was going to happen sooner or later. He did not like it, but he could cope. She was a bully, that was clear now, and while he couldn't fight back against her he could deny her the satisfaction she craved. He watched as her paw went down, tapping the words in front of him. "Read that."
"I will not get into fights. I will not get into fights…"
"I know," she spoke, making him pause as he looked up to meet her, her face trying to be unreadable but showing a clear disdain etched in. "That's why I didn't have you write those words. Because it's not a lesson that you need to learn."
She tore the sheets away, revealing his former lines. She tapped a claw down onto them. "Read."
"I am a dangerous criminal," he spoke, "who deserves to be here like everyone else."
"And again."
"I am a dangerous criminal who deserves to be here like everyone else."
…
"Did I tell you to stop?"
He looked up, his tail bristling. "You inferred only one repeat."
Her gaze hardened. "You see," she began. "That there is exactly why you belong here and exactly why you need to learn this lesson. Keep on reading, loud enough so I can hear but quiet enough that I can speak over you, and don't stop until I tell you to stop."
He looked up at her, his eyes narrowing.
"-Or maybe I should have you write out 'I will not get into fights' five hundred times on top of this too."
…
"I am a dangerous criminal who deserves to be here like everyone else. I am a dangerous criminal who deserves to be here like everyone else. I am…"
She nodded as he did so, grabbing Luke's papers and walking over to a paper shredder, feeding them in and watching as the hard written lines were torn apart and turned to trash. "You think that because you run from the confrontations that you create," she began, "that you manipulate others into fighting for you, that you twist words and lie but never get your paws dirty… You think that you're so much better than these mammals who lost their cool once, or grew up in abusive households and didn't know right from wrong, or are just gang members or street thugs who are at least honest to god about being criminals, idiots or bad mammals. You think that you're a cut above them, and you can go on swindling and hurting mammals and it's okay. Because they think they're coming out of this better than they came in, not knowing how much you hurt them. Or they never see the mammal who takes so much from them, causing them misery. Or simply because you were able to dupe those idiots who should know better into trusting you, and so you earned it.
"-who deserves to be here like everyone else. I am a dangerous..."
She turned back around, marching up to him and lowering herself down so her glaring eyes met his, burning into them as they narrowed. "But let me tell you the truth, Silverfox, you're not. Your kind is not. And the fact is you hurt mammals just as much, if not more, than those out there. The weak, the gullible, the trusting, you're dangerous to them. And you belong here. You and so many others -you probably think it so unfair, that you were the one unlucky enough to be caught. Don't you?"
…
"I am a dangerous criminal who…"
"-Don't waste my time. Stop that!"
Kris did, new words coming out immediately. "By my kind you mean my species."
"-I said answer my question!" she shouted, making him flinch back.
"I think it's unfair that I'm here," he said, honestly enough. He took a breath in, his paws trembling slightly, as he looked down. "For something I didn't do."
She looked at him contemptuously. "Of course you'd say that. -Evidently these words aren't sticking in your brain. Keep reading them."
His fur stood up on end and, breathing in, he carried on. "I am a dangerous criminal…"
"Yes you are," she spoke, looking down. "Let's be honest, all your kind are." She looked around, making sure that it was just them, before relaxing a little. "And yes. Honestly, it's so exhausting that we have to pussy-foot around this, that your lot… -species, have made discussing the honest truth such a taboo. You came up with your own four letter word for it, 'Antivulpanism'. Say it and you can get the whole world up in a stupid panic with itself all while distracting us from the very things you're doing to us." She brought a claw out and poke him in the chest, making him flinch back. "Scamming," poke. "Stealing," poke. "Filching money," poke. "Profiting off of wars and repossessed homes and drugs and our misery!" Poke. "And, now, nighthowlers!" She poked him hard in the chest and made him flinch back. Kris' fur was all on end and he closed his eyes, breathing in and out, hard. He didn't spot that her teeth were showing. "You sneaky, untrustworthy foxes have no cussing shame! Preds smuggling nighthowler! My daughter was bullied so hard during the crisis, so terrified that she'd turn savage and kill her friends and family, that she started biting herself and had to be put on suicide watch, but you don't give a damn about that, do you?"
He looked at her, his chest rising up and down hard and fast. Fur on end, ears back, his eyes lowered sadly. "You worry about them every day. When you're not around them is the worst. They could already be gone and you just don't know, you weren't there to save them. And you'll never know where you went wrong or how you could have gone right, and all you know is that if they do go they'll tear a hole in your heart that can never be refilled." He looked up. His face was full of sympathy, hers unreadable, yet unsteady, as if a feathers weight away from collapse. "My cousin has biting scars, he tried to kill…"
"-Oh shut it, PELT!" she yelled, slamming her fist down hard on the desk. Kris yipped back in shock, had the chair not been fixed he'd have tipped over. Sarrahson paused, looking around in panic for a second or two, long enough for a brief uneasy quiet to fill the room. But then, the outburst unheard, her gaze hardened. "How dare you think I'm so stupid to fall for one of your stinking pelt lies. You see, that's exactly what you do! Make up stories like that and play with our heartstrings and try and manipulate us, gaslight us, you and all those sneaky foxes thinking that you can get away with it, that it's your right to get away with it, and you rest easy knowing that you've twisted enough mammals in society that anyone who says the truth can be labelled an antivulpite, your own special brand of super evil speciesism, and then society shuns them and comes to your side. Pah, that cussing cuss about foxes having it so hard or being disadvantaged, it makes me sick. Though not as much as me seeing it in action already, don't deny it, I've seen you do it."
"W-when?" he asked.
"Hah, you precocious little mammal," she scolded. "Getting the Warden and old high and mighty Fulton on your side, licking your wounds and changing the truth to suit you, while Terrance worships you at your feet. Twisting around those other prisoners so that they think you're the best thing since sliced bread, while your foxy friends are causing mayhem outside in your name. I mean, we have a few other foxes in different blocks, god forbid you all get together, but you're the worst by far. They're all blind to it but I can see, I'm not one to be duped, and I'll keep on knowing that two-plus-two is four until the day I die and that foxes, you especially, are sneaky and untrustworthy. You belong here, Silverfox, along with a whole lot of other foxes currently out there hurting innocent mammals, and the sycophants supporting them. You are a dangerous criminal, and however much you think your kind can lie and cheat and gaslight everyone else, it ain't gonna work. Because one day society will wake up. Every great evil is defeated, eventually, however long it takes. And, until then, we have enough mammals like me in the places that matter to keep your kind down, where they belong."
…
She stood up, walking over to where she'd been sitting. "If you try and tell any member of staff about this, it'll be my word against yours, and with no physical evidence even your manipulations won't be able to help you out. And I will come back down on you even harder if you dare. Think about all I've just said as you finish your lines."
Kris, breathing in and out, turned back to them, writing them out even as his paws trembled slightly. He gave a glance up at her, then back down at the paper.
…
"What?" she asked, paws on her hips as she smirked. "Cat got your silvertongue?" she asked, paws going up in the air.
He looked down, closing his eyes, pressing on. He almost, almost, asked her something, but decided not to. Not now.
"Seriously, no more silver words?"
…
"No lies?"
…
"Guilt tripping?"
…
"Nothing to try and dupe me?"
…
A smile grew across her muzzle. "Maybe I've managed to start the first step in making you a 'good' fox after all."
"-Who in your family was hurt by a fox in the past?"
…
Their eyes met, hers narrowed. "No one," she said defiantly. "And I am going to keep it that way. One more word out of you, and I'll add five-hundred more lines. Get going."
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By the time he'd finished and left the room in silence, the index finger on his dominant paw stinging from the pressure of the pen, everyone was back. There were some congratulations bouncing around for 'dealing with a sicko' or 'putting up a good fight'. From the pack and nerds mainly. He smiled and waved at them, before slipping into his cell. Sitting down on his bed. Dinner had been delivered and was waiting there, a rather unappetising selection of dry bug pie, steamed plain vegetables and about the worst that canteen food had to offer.
Sitting down, looking at the floor, breathing in and out. Kris didn't feel hungry.
He reminded himself of something he'd thought about a lot in there. An old PSA about how to survive white water or riptides. Don't fight the current. Go with the flow.
His martial arts had something similar in them.
Defect the blow. Roll with it.
Both involved facing opponents who you couldn't hope to defeat. Like Sarrahson. Who couldn't be argued with, or negotiated with. Like Sarrahson. The best you could hope to do was to survive and keep out of the worst of it, like Sarrahson.
But you could climb out onto the riverbank or slip out of the ring. This… He looked around. The whole point of here was that there was no escape.
No end.
No way out.
And she was there, she'd always be there, she'd…
He found himself trembling.
It wasn't the things she thought about him that mattered. Were she not in a position of authority like that, he'd have said that he cared what people who were worth listening too thought about him, and thus he didn't care about anything she said. She was wrong in every single way and was just a worthless bully in his opinion, but that didn't matter for anything here. It was the fact that she thought she was right, and she was in a place where she could do whatever she felt was right to him, and there was nothing… nothing he could do about it.
He was scared.
He began sniffing.
He grabbed his duvet, dried his eyes, closed them and pushed into some meditation. Breaking down wouldn't help anyone. He had to stay calm, he had to keep himself together.
It was good.
He began pushing out the terrible thoughts around him, and retreating to his own good place.
There he sat, sitting down, letting the river of time flow past him…
But, through the calmness, something was ever so slightly amiss.
The river felt faster, more powerful, more aggressive than usual, and he couldn't help but feel an ever so slight tug as it lapped against his tail tip, trying to drag him away.