5.

Clarke stared at Lexa.

She wanted to keep her gaze strong, unwavering but every muscle, every inch of her begged her to look away. Look at Titus, at Nyko, even chance a glance at Bellamy, just to keep this girl with haunting eyes from breaking her down. Still, she kept her gaze strong, unwavering.

"Heda, maybe he is right. He has not lead us astray before," Titus, spoke watching his commander and Clarke at war. His robes brown, like mud, wrapped tightly around him and with his tone and wary glimpse at the two girls in front of him, he probably wished he could sink in it.

"How brave of you to keep your head up so high," Lexa sneered, eyes narrowing. Clarke noted faint streaks of black around her eyes, on her cheeks, near her jaw, who the hell was this person? Her presence commanded attention, she looked and sounded like she had witness enough triumphs in her life but yet as Clarke kept pushing, not backing down, she noticed something hidden behind those eyes, something she had seen before in Bellamy's, like Lexa truly didn't realize or didn't care about the power in her stance.

"I understand that I am a stranger to you," Clarke found her voice although it failed her and cracked a bit as she spoke, "but, I have given my word and dedication to skircru—"

"Your word doesn't mean anything to me, and I don't have an alliance with skicru," Lexa said abruptly. Clarke furrowed her brows in confusion, if she was not helping skicru keep the council from raging war and eliminating her people, then what were they doing here? Lexa sensed this, she seemed to read her questions as if they were written on her face, which they most likely were.

"Oh, he didn't tell you," she smirked at Bellamy who remained unfazed, "we're fighting this war."

Clarke's mind shut down, or it felt like it did because the intense stare down with Lexa ended, her vision blurring, and her mouth a gap. She took a step back, a part of her scolded herself for appearing in this state, so weak, so easily pushed down. But the other part was too anxious to care. War? She wanted to fight against the people of Arkadia? Did she not know what kind of power they hold; did she not see how Clarke was here trying to fight for them, with them, to live in peace?

"You are stupid Clarke if you believe your people will agree to a treaty, or coexistence, or peace. They will not stop until they are the only ones with power," Lexa shifted her gaze to Titus, nodded once and he left her side to enter further into the cabin, "For years I have hid and kept my people safe, for years my people before me fought for our secrets and our lives," A pause and her eyes gleamed, "Was it not your father who told your people about us? If you think about it Clarke, you started this war."

Titus returned but with nothing in hand, this time he didn't even turn to look at Lexa or wait for any acknowledgement. He walked over to the door, opened it wide, showing them this conversation was over, it was probably all over the minute Clarke went to meet Bellamy this morning in the engineering room.

Nyko gripped Clarke's arm as she was still dazed and led her to the door where the gleaming sunlight poured in, trying to lighten up the darkest cabin she's ever been to. She then remembered Bellamy and turned back to see him talking to Lexa in hushed tones, the door shut with a slam against her. She turned to see Nyko had let go of her arm and now standing against the right side of the door.

"What…Is she really going to start a war?" she let out in a soft breath. Her hands reaching for the base of her neck, trying to somehow regulate her erratic breathing.

"The war already started, and Heda didn't make the first move."

That was all that was said between them, for the next minute or so they welcomed deafening silence. Clarke still trying to wrap her head around what just happened, what she just learnt. Movement from the woods across the cabin caught her blue eyes, soldiers, warriors, and fighters alike walking in step with an assortment of weapons. There were knifes, swords, shields, spears, anything that could be fashioned from the simplest of material found in their court, tucked in their boots and harness, waiting to attack. The war had started and by the looks of how well trained, how strong these men and women were; it had started a while back.

Bellamy finally emerged from the cabin; he leaned closer to Nyko muttering a few words to which Nyko replied in his mother tongue. Once Nyko left the area, Bellamy came to stand in front of her, eyes watching her every move.

"What happened?" she asked trying and failing from gritting her teeth. His gaze shifted, from studying her with angry eyes to looking her over, top to bottom, with curious eyes. He smirked softly, and motioned with his chin at the mob of fighters she had previously been staring at.

"You happened, Princess."

"Bellamy, she can't seriously be considering to fight with them. They have advanced technology, weapons, numbers that Lexa cannot produce. If she fights this war, if she even gives Jaha a hint of retaliation, we are all done." she emphasized ignoring his previous statement, stepping closer to him. She was invading his space, when she had noticed how little room remained between them she swallowed whatever nerves or… whatever it was that she felt when she was this close to him and let her anger rise, consuming her.

"We can't let this happen," she practically begged, at the softness of her voice, he leaned closer until his lips were aligned with her ear, teasing her with his hot breath.

"We can't talk, not here," he said backing away and heading further into the woods, in the opposite direction of the glade and the market. Clarke thanked God that Bellamy's back was to her and he didn't spare her much of a glance after he spoke the words because the heat that rushed to her cheeks and her neck would have betrayed any frustration that was laced in her words, in her whole body, whenever she had a conversation with him.

When they were far enough from the cabin to talk freely, but still close enough to see outlines and glimmers of the people rushing through the glade, Bellamy's husky voice sent shivers down her spine again. She was slowly, very slowly getting used to pushing them away.

"Lexa will fight whether I tell her to or not," Clarke opened her mouth to say something but he continued, cutting her off with a pointed look before speaking again, "She will gather an army twice as big as Jaha's if she has to, but she will fight." she clutched the handles of her backpack against her shoulders tightly.

"Then why come here? Why bring me here to her when you knew she was going to deny our help and laugh at me?"

"Because now she knows that you didn't have anything to do with Jaha finding out about them. When she questioned you in there, when she threw what your father figured out in your face and you stood taken back, she knew you were innocent,"

"I still don't understand, Nyko said that the war had started already, and those warriors seemed well trained, like they have been preparing for war their whole lives. My father made this discovery three month ago," it wasn't exactly a question, but the way Bellamy took a step back and looked to the side seeming torn, she knew that she had hinted at something he was reluctant to share.

"People have had theories about life beyond the wall for decades, years before your father found evidence. Would you not prepare for war, prepare to fight even if there had only been speculation?" he replied, crossing his arms across his chest, watching her with those dark brown eyes again. He waited silently, letting her slowly mull over it all.

"I still don't know why you brought me here, if she wasn't willing to listen, if they all see me as a traitor," she refused to let the defeat show in her voice. Clarke was far from the strong willed survivor her mother was, or the leader that Wells would grow to be, but she refused to feel weak, to be the broken girl she knew she was even before her father's life was taken, even before she found the truth about this cruel world.

"I brought you here to see for yourself that peace was not the goal, that you can't use that pretty mouth of yours to talk your way into and out of everything. People's lives are on the line, Lexa's people and my people, the ones who bleed for no reason, starve because they were born into the wrong families, have to commit crimes to keep their lungs going." his voice shook her again, sending endless shivers down her spine. She noticed how his eyes went soft when he spoke of "his" people, how there was something, something like guilt or understanding, and yet Clarke couldn't understand how with that he still didn't see peace among them all as an answer.

"But we can work together, we can force the council to see that those people are not a threat, that we can live side by side and be fine. Bellamy, peace is what we need," she had started, crossing her arms across her chest mimicking him, she took a step forward wanting to speak again but was cut off.

"Don't be selfish, Griffin, you want peace, you want to let yourself believe that there is still humanity left, that peace is the answer to everything wrong with Arkadia, but it's not. It's not the answer, it's what you want because of some inner fight you have, because of your guilt or fear or whatever else that's keeping you up at night." his harshness made her flinch, what was left of her stubbornness, of the strength she had disappeared. She took a step back only to trip on a poorly cut tree stump, a gasp caught in her throat; she fell back on her butt with a thud. Bellamy was at her side in seconds with what seemed like an apologetic look but it slipped just as fast as it came.

Clarke moved away from him, declining his help and got up on her own. She mumbled she'd be at the market and walked off leaving him behind and hoping she remembered where the market was.

She shoved the tree branches and leaves out of her way, her mind lost in thought and anger, her feet guiding her back to the glade. She stole a glance at the still dangerously scary looking fighters pushing the bile back in her throat.

I can't believe we survived a nuclear war, just to slaughter each other, she thought.

—

At the market, she browsed the different stands and booths, spices and sweet smells welcoming her. She looked on as the women, who looked so much different, so free, giggled to one another swapping stories, picking out fabrics and pieces of clothing they found beautiful. The envy was shoved down, but the more she looked on at the men working alongside their women, the children playing, the food cooking, she felt sick to her stomach. These innocent people who would soon find themselves in the middle of a war that could be easily written off, easily solved.

"Do you want it?" Eyeing the red piece of fabric that was in her hand, she peeked over her shoulder and shook her head. The thin soft material slipped from her fingers, and she walked past him to the door on the floor from which they came.

"We have one more stop," he called after her.

"It's fine, you go ahead, I'll wait here," her tone was dry, and maybe he didn't deserve it, his words from earlier hurt but acting this way would make him think he has some affect on her, which he doesn't, but to know your baggage and have someone throw it at you, it fucking sucked. He obviously knew this world better than she did, there must be more to this story than he is telling her, and maybe it isn't his fault that these people will be homeless and hungry within months if war is truly coming but she was angry and tired and he was there.

"Don't be dramatic," she fixed him with a sharp look but he only smirked.

"Do you get tired of being a smug smirking ass?"

"Do you get tired of looking down your nose?"

"You keep talking about my status back in Arkadia, yet I never do, seems like your more obsessed with it than I ever was," she quipped back raising an eyebrow. His smirk grew.

"You keep talking about my smug ass, seems like you are obsessed with it?" he raised an eyebrow. She was in awe, Bellamy Blake who never smiles; whose words are lined with venom, who practically shouts every time he speaks, was actually kind of flirting with her. She fought a small smile, keeping her face neutral and hard.

"What's the stop?" she asked walking forward until they were walking side by side a few feet away from each other. They made their way through the all of a sudden crowded streets, avoiding ramming into the families, couples and children so unaware of what was in store for them.

"The medical centre," he said pointing to another wooden cabin. It was located near the middle edge of the market place, a little distance away from the stands but still within walking distance from every angle of their little civilization. It was much smaller than Lexa's was but still big enough to carry enough patients for the doctor to see at a time. There was a wooden porch surrounding it as well, with two steps and multiple chairs lined up against the walls.

"Do they know?"

"No, not yet, Lexa will announce it at Grationem Dan, in two weeks." He didn't bother asking he knew exactly who she meant.

"Where?"

"It's their version of Unity Day, except instead of coming together to build a fucking wall, it was the day all twelve clans joined forces to ensure their safety against people of the Ark."

Twelve clans? It seemed pretty clear that this area was a small city, maybe even a town, and Clarke knew that there were probably more like it, but twelve groups of people besides the ones she saw today. When Bellamy had said that Lexa will double her army if she wanted to he was referring to the thousands of other people that were way beyond the wall. Clarke swore under her breath, the more she learnt about this world, their world, the less she actually knew.

"Nyko," Bellamy called as he stepped inside the clinic, he disappeared into the back like he had memorized this place, while Clarke hung back coming to face a girl with her arm wrapped up in a stingy cloth and a little boy playing with what looked to be two small rocks.

The inside of the cabin was warm, the windows large on each side letting the sun naturally heat up the room. Besides the chairs that seemed to be randomly sprawled out, the room was empty. She couldn't help but compare it to the clean, sleek white waiting area at the hospital at the Ark. Her thoughts then automatically went to her mother, she didn't let herself wonder what she was doing or if she was still broadcasting messages looking for her, but she wondered about the woman she was. The one who would have told Clarke that peace can exist, that it would if she wanted it bad enough, if she fought hard enough. But there was that word again, fought, to fight. It seemed like there was nothing to do, no good or bad can come without putting up a fight.

The little boy was now sitting on the ground, the two rocks in front of him and a third much larger rock in between them. The little girl was staring at her quietly, and when she met her eye and offered her a tiny smile the girl remained still, like she was surprised somebody would smile at her.

"Hey, I'm Clarke," she smiled a bit wider this time, the boy's head shot up to her, he also remained still, "what are you doing?" she asked him. The two of them remained silent, observing her, taking in her clothes, her hair, and the smile on her face. She awkwardly sat down on the ground a few paces away from the boy and shifted her backpack so it sat in her lap, she opened it slowly afraid she might scare them off, and rummaged through it hoping to find what she was looking for.

"Here," she held out a bag of nuts and dried fruit to them and when they didn't reach for it she placed it next to his rocks. She looked back into the bag pulling out the flashlight she used to get through the tunnel earlier.

"This is for you too, I don't know if you're afraid of the dark or not but it can help, plus it's the only thing I have here that might be cooler than those rocks," she nodded to the ground, while the boy's eyes froze on the object in her hand, "Here, look," she turned it on and shined it underneath one of the chairs where it was darker. Then she crooked her forefinger and middle finger placing them in front of the light. She moved her hand around, the shadow resembling a rabbit as if it was moving through the woods. She peeked over at the two of them and found faint smiles on their lips. She shut off the light and handed it to the boy, who took it this time, before zipping up her bag and going after Bellamy.

She walked through the open door leading deeper into the cabin. A narrow hallway welcomed her and as she walked through unsure of which way to turn she heard voices arguing.

"Back off," it was stern, Bellamy, she realized.

"He didn't mean harm,"

"Tell her, tell her and if she doesn't agree," a third voice she didn't recognize said before Bellamy cut him off claiming that he wasn't telling her shit. Whoever this girl was she appeared to be very important because in the last few times she argued with him, his words were never covered in such malice.

"She could've been hurt," he continued angrily, "my sister, my responsibility." His voice could shake mountains if there were any within a thousand-mile radius. They had been talking about Octavia. This person must be the one she said she was protecting. Not wanting to walk into something that was clearly none of her business, she took careful steps back rushing back to the waiting area before anyone notice she had left.

When she looked over to the corner where the kids sat seconds ago, she found the space empty, the flashlight and food rations gone as well.

"We're leaving," she felt the hostility radiating off him, not having to look back to know his face was stone cold and body language bitter.

The market was a blaze, much more crowded than before. It must be high time, with the sun at the sky's peak and the endless chatter in their foreign language, she felt a rush of excitement. She wanted to stay a bit longer, maybe talk to some of them; see what they really thought of their leader's opinion of war. But staring at the back of Bellamy's head trying not to lose him in the crowd, she knew better than to ask him to stay.

When they had entered the God-awful tunnel with the retched smell, she opened her mouth to speak, but his breath was heavy and his fingers turning white as he clenched the flashlight tighter in his hand. They walked in silence before she couldn't take it anymore.

"Octavia will be fine, I'm sure her wounds have healed already," she was startled when he stopped and turned to face her.

"You heard?"

"Not a lot, just you saying she was your responsibility,"

He continued walking, "she is," it was final, he was done talking about it but he had to know by now, Clarke was stubborn.

"Did she tell you why she did it?" He didn't speak, if anything his pace quickened wanting to avoid her.

"She told me she was protecting someone she loved," he paused again and she almost slammed into his back. In one move he pushed her until her lower back hit the cold pipe along one side of the tunnel. His face dangerously close and his eyes burning brown almost scary, almost.

"She's sixteen, she doesn't know what love is," his voice low, one hand gripping the flashlight shining it behind her head, the other gripping the pipe she was leaning on.

"Funny she said a similar thing about you,"

Coldness hit her hard when he stepped back, a very brief shake of his head before walking away and ahead of her. Clarke let out a breath she didn't realize was frozen in her throat, chasing after him.

"So what happens in two weeks, when she mentions war to them? Will they agree with her?" she changed the topic, hoping that he would still indulge her and give her answers she's been waiting on since her eyes shot open this morning.

"No, they will probably hate her, but they will follow her anyway. She is their commander, they will fight and die for her."

"Just like Skicru would for you," his breath hitched but she pretended she didn't notice. "You've known about Lexa and her people for a while," Clarke said as they made their way through the horrifying tunnel going back to the Dropship. Bellamy nodded walking ahead of her.

"How?"

"Since I came to the Dropship," her eyes plastered to his back watching the way his jacket hugged him, the way he moved easily.

"When was that?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her and if he caught her staring he didn't mention it, just remained silent, ignoring her question all over again.

"What did Lexa say to you in the cabin?" she tried again, hoping her voice seemed concerned.

"We had some business to take care of," she could hear the snide smirk in his tone.

"We?"

"Me and her," he shrugged but Clarke swore she could feel, hear his smirk grow as he said the words.

The more time she spent with Bellamy, the more of a mystery he became. Granted she has only been here about four days, and spoken to him a handful of times, this being the longest they ever spent together, but she would have thought that the rumors would be somewhat true. She obviously knew better, seeing as some rumors floated around about her that couldn't be farther from the truth and yet, the ones she's heard about Bellamy sparked the thought that they might be more fact than fiction.

"You know there are rumors about you back in Arkadia," she said seemingly nonchalant.

"There are rumors about you back at the Dropship," he said back with the same aloofness. She smiled to herself, picking up her pace to walk beside him.

"I'll tell you what I heard if you tell me what you heard," she offers, he peers down at her before averting his gaze back ahead of them shifting the light better to show them the way. He had shaken his head at her earlier when they were climbing down the later at the mention of her giving away the flashlight to the boy and girl at the medical cabin.

"You first, Princess," she debated what to tell him. She could mention the different ways in which they believed him to punish the rebels who disobeyed him, or his tactics and strategies they found to be inhuman and selfish.

"They say you look like a run down version of Marcus Kane, with less hair and a crooked nose," his eyes shot up to meet hers. A faint smile dancing across his lips, and a raised eyebrow challenging her, she prayed the darkness around them concealed her cheeks.

"Really?"

"No, but that's how I pictured you whenever I heard your name being mentioned," she smirked at him, his faint smile turned into an actual one and she had to force herself to get back to answering his question and focusing on her words, "They talked about the kind of power you had, Wells said that if you used it for good you probably could make a difference,"

His smile slipped and in an instant she regretted telling him about it.

"He's probably right," was all he said. They walked in silence until they reached the opening to the abandoned barn they had entered from. Bellamy shut the door behind her locking it back in place before scouting the area quickly to make sure there weren't any patrol cars driving around. When the coast was clear they moved forward, leaving the wall behind them.

"You want to know what they say about you?" he asked, zipping down his jacket to reveal his navy blue shirt she saw him in a few days ago.

"Nothing I've never heard before I'm sure," she mumbled, clutching the handles of the backpack, her thumb pressing into her shoulder.

"They say you're this Princess," she scoffed rolling her eyes, "who's kind and cares, and it confuses them."

Clarke didn't look to meet his awaiting gaze and didn't bother answering his unasked question. Trying to understand that they were slightly wary around her wasn't hard, she'd probably be worse in their position. After all, she was a stranger of a higher rank and close to the enemy, who suddenly came wanting to help them. But she had proved herself, or tried to, she had declared her allegiance to them and yet they were scared and worried in her presence.

"It's hard for them," his voice low but calm, "you're the first person to come to the Dropship willingly in over two years, you found it without being guided or using a map, and you offer help with only peace in mind."

"That so hard to believe?"

"Yes, because people don't voluntarily offer help to the group of dangerous delinquents they were warned about their entire life,"

"I'm not people," she shrugged.

"No you're not," he agreed, and she took a brief look at him when she felt his eyes burning a hole to the side of her head. They continued to walk in silence after that, until the familiar building came into view. Clarke sighed, mentally preparing herself for the craziness that is known as the medic room. It had felt like the longest day of her life when in reality it was a quarter after twelve in the afternoon.

"You know there is one rumor about you that seems to hold true," Clarke mentioned turning to walk backwards ahead of him. He knit his brows looking at her intently.

"Apparently, you have a thing for brunettes," his brown eyes went a shade darker as the smuggest smirk she'd seen graced his lips. She wasn't sure if she wanted to throw something at him or laugh.

"Who told you that? Spacewalker?" he asked, smirk still in tact.

"Who?"

"Collins,"

"Finn, yeah he did, but since being here and after seeing you and Lexa, I think you have a problem," she joked, feigning concern.

"You wanna help me with that, Doctor?" her face fell flat, and warm, and red. She threw him a vulgar gesture over her shoulder turning as she walked into the place that would surely kill her. She could've sworn she heard his low chuckle follow her to the med room.

—

Later that night, after a hectic day of dealing with bruises, broken bones, and open wounds, Clarke walked into her room and fell face first onto her bed. She spent her time patching people up and thinking about what she had witnessed today. It was clear that Lexa believed that war was the answer, and so did Bellamy since he went to say as much, but Lexa claimed that she wasn't in alliance with them. Clarke also didn't really know Lexa, not enough to try to get in her head or talk her out of war. Her plan had been in place since she stepped outside her home and came here, yet with Bellamy's connection to the city beyond the wall, there came hope that maybe a new plan could hatch, but as always she spoke to soon because her hope was shattered, and so did the hope of avoiding her original motive.

"Rough day?" Raven asked from her place perched up on her own bed.

"Everyday is a rough day at this place," Clarke's muffled voice dripping with exhaustion.

"Get used to it," Raven spread her legs out in front of her, resting her head against the wall behind her, "Heard Blake took you to Polis, did you get the answers you were looking for?"

Polis that was what it was called. The name sounded strange, but somehow strong and free, like the people who occupy it.

"Yeah he did, and not really. I think there is a lot more that he isn't telling me, I don't know if it's because he doesn't trust me or…" she trailed off sighing deeply, "He told Lexa he trusted me when she asked him but I'm sure it was more for my safety than anything. I'm also pretty sure he only took me there to scare me, show me that I can't stop whatever war was coming,"

"You can't, but if he said he trusted you, even to Lexa, then he does. He just needs time,"

"Time for what?"

"Think about it Clarke, he allowed you to come in here, let you stay and work and do whatever you wanted, if he didn't trust you he wouldn't have done any of that. He would have sent you home right away," Raven picked up a book that was open from the side of her bed and placed it in her lap, "You'll figure it out with time," was all she said before she started scanning the pages, reading.

After a few minutes of quiet, Clarke asked, "Did he and Lexa, ever…you know?" A small snicker came from Raven but her eyes remained on her book.

"Ask him," and Clarke knew that the conversation for the night has ended, and she would never ever in a million years ask Bellamy about his past relationship with any of his brunette lovers. She kept that smile that he gave her today locked in the back of her mind, because with it running around in her head came risk, with it she couldn't do what she came here to do.