Chapter 5

Large build, shaved black hair and slightly tanned skin. It was Franz, alright. He wore the standard uniform with a dark green shirt underneath. Half of his upper body dangled out of a titan's clenched teeth. Its jaw opened, and blood burst out from him with little clumps of red. Time had stopped around us. All we could see and hear now was Franz. Our bodies dismantled the way he did but spiritually, carefully divided through the abdomen with our legs crunched apart.

"Franz!", Hannah cried again. But before getting ready to take off, Ymir pulled her back. Her body froze but shuddered almost convulsively. Hannah turned around. We were left in shock. Colour had escaped her completely and all that was left were paleness of pure and utter horror. All of what we knew of her, her cheerful, contagious positive energy did not radiate like it once had but confused us, drained us with all her delusions and false hopes that would soon bring her to her demise. It was there when we knew that the old Hannah we all knew and loved had died along with Franz, never to be seen again. Hannah smiled a fake and forceful smile before she addressed us, "We have to go. Franz needs our help!"

No one moved.

"Hey, why isn't anyone moving?", she tugged Ymir's arm, "Ymir?", then turned to us, "Krista? Y/n?" She reached out to Samuel before he yanked his arm away.

"Franz is dead, Hannah. We're too late.", said Samuel.

"Samuel, what are you talking about? Of course, we're not too late. We can still save him, there's still time. If we keep waiting like this, then we'll lose him forever. Whatever happens to teamwork?"

"Oh, will anyone save poor Hannah who's been locked away in a dream?" said Ymir, " My, what a shame. No wonder you're so god-damn happy all the time."

Krista said, "Ymir-"

"What's wrong, Hannah? Is this too much for you? Do you wanna cry and fly to Dreamland', instead? Wouldn't that be so much better?"

"Ymir."

"You sicken me. You and that fake positivity of yours. Why won't you wake up? When will you realize that Franz is gone? Will you waste your life away living some stupid lie? Or will you move on, and live a life of your own? You don't need him, Hannah! You're not stupid!"

"That's enough!", Krista headbutted her.

Hannah took one look at Ymir, shook her head apologetically, "I'm sorry." And just like that, she took off.

Before anyone had the words to say, Samuel cried, "Hannah!". Then he forged forwards until a titan popped out of nowhere and grabbed him. I shut my eyes. It would hurt me twice as much seeing the pain he was in, but it wasn't enough. As long as I could still hear him, he would take me back once more in those monstrous hands. Then they squeezed, and I started to scream as well.

Ymir carried me. Krista followed. We flew and they watched on top of another roof as the titan swallowed him whole. Everything became eerily silent to me like the sound of midnight. As my chest rose and fell tremendously, I heard a voice. It was a raspy one, and loud. For once, I couldn't recognize that voice, but the way my throat hurt soon after left me utterly confused, and almost concerned. It was nothing I have ever heard before in my entire life, yet it felt so familiar. My heart followed along to fill in the silence. My chest rose again higher than usual, still, it yearned for more.

Breathe in, breathe out… Breathe in, breathe out… Breathe in-

Krista put her arms around me and asked if I was alright. I tried to answer her, but the words got tangled in my lips and I couldn't speak properly. She laid me down careful not to apply pressure on my ribs. I thanked her. Still, there were no birds or clouds in the sky, yet it was only turning greyer and greyer. My head hurt, my chest, and my limbs did too so I went to sleep.

"Hey, Krista, is that…" Ymir's voice trailed off. From here on, I fell into complete oblivion.

...

"I am…"

...

It was the Year 847.

My father turned around. I remembered his rugged face, his quickly darkening skin that might soon lead to cancer, and the amount of sweat he lost which plastered his face like a layer of skin. He advanced, bent forwards and, as soon as he peeked into my basket, hit me in the head. "Stop dilly-dallying! She expects us by sunset!"

"Sorry…"

My mother, however, remained at the shelter for refugees for the survivors of Maria. Ever since my brother's death, she had been suffering from heart problems. Last week, she collapsed and had to be taken to a hospital nearby. So, my father and I did most of the work farming, taking good care of her, and feeding. No matter what we do, her mind wandered to two years ago.

He clicked his tongue. Carrying his basket, what a plentiful share of corn!, I watched him disappear into a forest of maize with his back hunched slightly. Then I resumed. It had gotten cooler, yet the morning heat still left a mark against my skin. I wiped the sweat off my brow before I twisted and pulled the corn ear firmly, then threw it into my collection.

I had finished while the time was still early. Then I met father near the farmhouse. He took off his hat and put it on me. I smiled. Times like this would take me back to pleasant memories. We climbed towards the graveyard at the usual time where we said our prayers to my little brother, and father would lay a flower he plucked on top of his grave. Bouquets were expensive back then, and hard to find in the city. So, it wasn't worth the effort.

Looking around, the graveyard never felt so alone. Other families would often visit here too. It became a tradition. At the anniversary of the fall, we would gather to commemorate and spend time with the dead. Sometimes, people would camp or sleep here, others would feast or mourn. Only visitors from Maria, of course, this graveyard was built especially for the millions who had died then.

We bowed our heads before father said, "The Survey Corps arrived again this early morning."

I didn't know what to make of this comment for I never had much interest in them.

"If he were still alive," father continued, "how happy he would be to see them again."

A memory flashed before my eyes. Something new dawned at me, "He loved the Survey Corps, didn't he?"

"More than anything…"

...

"I am… I am…"

...