Chapter 18
They were meeting twice a week and making each other happy. Their times together were a mixture of pleasure and intimacy. After sex, they would usually admit the most personal stuff to each other. Hold each other, listen and understand. Then Alexandra would put on her clothes and leave.
This kind of arrangement made Catherine happy though she was aware that her feelings for Alexandra are getting stronger by each day.
Besides their intimate nights, they were also meeting in the school for a coffee or lunch. However, those were the times they would only stick to business. Nothing else but only work would be the subject of discussion.
During their special nights, on the other hand, work related themes were off-limits. They would drink wine, have sex and talk about life.
On an April night, after a steamy sex, they were laying on the bed and Catherine said:
-So, now what? What should we talk about this time?
-I wonder about your first time.
Alexandra climbed on her and faced her with a broad smile.
-First time ever? Or first time with a woman?
Catherine laughed.
-Both.
Alexandra got out off her and made herself comfortable on the other side of the bed.
-Well, I was 15 at that time and I was one of those popular girls at high school. Usually, my kind of people hang out with those cool people; athletes, handsome guys who goof around etc. Most of the time they lose their virginity to those guys because doing it for the first time with a less cool guy does not make a good impression on you. So it was with me. Jeremy was on the football team and a year older than me. He was tall and handsome. He liked me a lot and I thought that he is the perfect candidate. One day, we had a party at his parent's house. Adults were not in the town. There were lots of people. At a certain point, he asked me to come with him. We went to his room. We were kissing. He started grabbing my ass and teasing my breasts. I was OK with it because I knew how this is going to end. Then he started unbuttoning my dress. I still remember that dress. It was a blue shirt-dress. He took it off and then took his t-shirt off. Laid on me and kissed my neck. Then he pulled off my bra and kissed my nipples. He was rushing and once he took off my panties, he wanted to go straight inside. And then he got himself embarrassed.
-He finished it before starting, didn't he?
-He did.
They both laughed.
-You see, that is the problem with men. It can easily happen with them. With women, it is not so easy.
Alexandra commented. Catherine agreed.
-Yes. That is what makes them perfect as a lover. They know what you want and they never finish it before starting.
They continued laughing.
-Was he the only one or did you have a few of them before transferring to the female department?
-Well, I have slept with a bunch of guys. I even slept with them after turning my direction to women. It is not the same as with women, but it is OK to change the mood. But I'd prefer a woman. I know that with a woman I will always have better sex and it is better to share that intimate and passionate moment with a woman who appreciates it rather with a man who thinks his mission is done.
She looked at Alexandra and smiled at her and received the same response.
-When did you start dating women?
-At my high-school, there was this girl. She was just an average girl who always was silent and many people did not notice her. Even I barely noticed her. At high school graduation. I was drunk. I wasn't having the best time of my life; my parents died, I did not have a boyfriend and I was very lonely. I was trying to find my way to WC and I fell down. Someone helped me to stand up. I turned around and it was her. She asked nicely if I am OK. Then she said I'd better go outside and breeze some fresh air. She guided me. When we were outside, she reached out to me and kissed me. At first, I hesitated. I thought I'll throw up. But I did not. I liked it. It was soft, tender. She was the first girl I ever kissed with. We never had sex but after moving to Stanford campus, I was obsessed with the thought of what it will be like if I will sleep with a woman. After a few months, I was invited to a party of a friend, a guy who was gay, and it turns out to be that there were a few lesbian women.
One of them started to flirt with me. I responded with an interest and she invited me to her place. And we did it.
-Wow. She must have been an amazing sex partner if she rocked your world.
Alexandra smiled.
-She was. I still remember the way she used her lips and tongue to make me feel high. It was such a pleasure. How could I not do it with women after that? That is how it all started.
-You know, I have never tried it with men.
-Really? How? Why?
Alexandra smiled.
-I always thought I should. At least once so I could tell the difference. Never had a chance.
-For all your life you never had a chance?!
-Well, my story is... I never had a crush on a guy when I was a teenager. I thought it is OK. I was not so old for it. I was just 14. But one day, after a tennis session in the tennis club, I went to the changing room. I almost packed up myself when I saw a young woman leaving the shower with a towel wrapped around her. The towel was loose and it slipped down. I saw her nude body. She was a beautiful woman in her late teens, maybe early 20s. The picking point is, I got aroused. For the first time in my life. And it was because of a woman.
While talking about it, Alexandra's voice was stern. She was upset and Catherine wondered why?
-What's wrong? You are talking about it as it is a horrible thing.
Alexandra looked at her and said with a sad tone.
-In Russia, people do not talk about gays. They do not befriend gays. Being gay is simply not allowed by the society. When you know it all and you think of yourself as a straight person who is accepted by the community you live in, realizing that you are gay is devastating.
There was a pause. Catherine did not know what to say. She was waiting for Alexandra's move.
-When I got aroused, I was shocked. I was confused, angry and damaged. A few days later, I decided to talk someone. It was driving me crazy. So, I chose the last person I should talk to about it. My mother did not say anything at first. She hushed for a few minutes and then said. "You could be an alcoholic, drug addict or whore but you chose that? I could tolerate anything but not that! Fix yourself!" I felt even in a deeper depression. By the death of my father, I became an introvert. After that encounter with my mother, I became even more introverted. We never talked about it again although she knows about my life here.
Catherine forced herself to say:
-I'm sorry...
Alexandra was silent. After some time she continued.
-Me losing my virginity is even more creepy. I am not sure if you can be open-minded about that.
Alexandra smiled.
-Oh, come on. I have done lots of weird stuff. I will certainly be OK with it.
After a bit of hesitation, Alexandra said:
-What the hell. Let's make a shot. I lost my virginity at the age of 16 to a friend of my mother.
-Your mother befriended teenagers?
Alexandra laughed.
-No, she did not. Her friend at that moment was in her early 40s.
-What?!