Chapter 19
Catherine was shocked. It took her by surprise. A relation between an adult woman and underage teenager is quite a shocking thing.
-Is having sex with an underage teenager is allowed in Russia?
-No.
Catherine sat in a lotus position.
-Do you understand that it was wrong?
Alexandra smiled, as it was OK.
-Yes.
-Did you tell your mother or anyone else?
-Of course, not. It was not a rape or abuse. I wanted it. Moreover, it is not as if we did it only once. We did it regularly like couples.
Catherine's eyes were wide with astonishment.
-What is wrong?
-You have been having sex with an older woman while you were a teenager?!
-Yes.
-That is illegal, don't you get it? Why are you acting like it is OK?
-Because I was old enough to understand that I want it and decide whether it is OK or not. Moreover, I was not as innocent as you might think.
-You mean, you made a move on her?!
-No... Well, it is complicated.
Alexandra sat on knees facing Catherine and started with a calm tone.
-Have you ever fancied people who are older than you? It is just like that. She was a close family friend. A member of the Russian intelligentsia. A doctor with gray soft hair. I don't know why she never dyed her hair but she looked great with those. She was a divorced mother of one boy. Intelligent, smart and charismatic. Her stern character was magnificent. I adored her a lot. One day, when my mother was away for the funeral of a relative in another city, she asked her to come by our apartment and check on me. She visited in the evening. We were talking while she was sitting in the armchair and I laid on the sofa facing a magazine. Once we stopped talking I felt her hand on my back. She was slowly and tenderly gliding it towards my butt. At first, I felt shocked though very pleased. Then I heard her whispering about how beautiful I am, and how long she waited before making this move. I turned my face to her in order to resist although I wanted her to take me like a wild animal. She started begging and telling me how she is OK to give anything else in the world just to feel my lips with hers. I let her kiss me. It was my first kiss ever.
Alexandra laid down putting her left hand behind her head. She was smiling and Catherine saw how important this memory was to her.
-It was my first kiss ever but at the time, I thought it was the best ever. Guess what, it is still great. She kissed me and hugged my waist at the same time. Then she started to kiss my neck. We were kissing for a long time. She was discouraged to make the first move. I put my arms around her neck and moved closer to her. That encouraged her to pursue what she started. She laid me down. Took off my T-shirt and kissed my body all over, then she took off my jeans and everything else. At first, she gave me an oral pleasure. I was ecstatic. Before I was able to recover, I was no more a virgin.
Catherine was speechless. Alexandra was telling, literally explaining every single detail of her losing her virginity. And she was talking about it in a way that made Catherine realized that it is not creepy for her. It is a great memory for her.
-We were meeting at her place. Twice a week. Sometimes even more. Her son was old enough to live apart. I remember the way I used to torture her.
Alexandra smiled.
-I would come to her place. She would like to hug me or kiss me and I would resist and make her beg me before letting her to fuck me. I liked when her, an adult woman, begged me to have sex. Then we would do it. At least three times. I became her "Lolita". She would teach me stuff like how to prolong the pleasure, which poses are the best etc. It helped me a lot. It still helps me.
Alexandra winked. Catherine was speechless. She was not sure what to say. On one hand, this affair was important to Alexandra. On the other hand, it was wrong. Then, she thought about her affairs with students and did not dare say anything. Instead, she decided to ask a question.
-What happened?
-Well... I left for the US.
-Was she OK with that?
-No. She begged me until very last moment to stay. But I knew that I am not in a place where I can be happy. So, I left. Years later I emailed her a few times asking about her life. Last year, while visiting St. Petersburg, we met again. You know she is still beautiful. I guess, after all, not the exterior beauty is important to me. For me, at her 50s she still was gorgeous and sexy.
-Did you?..
-No.
Alexandra smiled. She looked in Catherine's eyes.
-I lost Cecile. And at that moment, I was not ready to touch anyone yet.
-How did you and Cecile meet?
-It was just after my move to the USA. I met her on a student collaboration day at Yale. I was a junior and she was a sophomore. I asked her a question about student clubs and then we started talking. One thing led to another and she asked for my number. I gave it to her without hesitation. At that moment, I did not even know that we might work it out.
-How long did it go?
-A little bit more than 4 years.
They both hushed. Alexandra reclined to bed and put her head on Catherine's hip. While drawing on Catherine's knee with her right pointing finger, Alexandra continued her story:
-She was different. Different than anyone else. She always had courage for things I'd usually chicken out. I was more of a poetic person, and she was more of an artistic person. She was the one who encouraged me to travel and love art. We traveled on my motorcycle through Europe. With her, I discovered another part of me. Part of me I needed while growing up. With her, I felt stronger and smarter. Sometimes, I think that she was destined to play a role in my life.
Catherine heard Alexandra's emotional voice and put her hand on her head. She felt the warmth of her body and liked it a lot. She was jealous of Cecile memories. She knew it was stupid but still could not help herself. No one in her life lasted that long and she was afraid that no one would.
-What happened?
-She was in Paris for a few days. On the way to the airport, taxi driver made a mistake, which resulted in an accident. They say she died on the way to the hospital.
Catherine stretched her arms and hugged her shoulders.
-I'm really sorry.
-At first, I refused to believe it. I couldn't make it to her funeral. It took me a week to absorb the information. Then I bought a ticket to Paris and visited her. In a cemetery. She was laying there. I couldn't see her anymore.
A long pause there was before Alexandra asked:
-What about yours?
-Mine what?
-You said you are getting over someone.
Catherine did not expect it. She stuttered a bit but throw it anyway:
-She left.
Alexandra stood up and looked at her face.
-She dumped you?!
-No. She had to leave for California. She had a job offer there. It was a dead end for both of us. So, I let her go.
-I would fight for it.
-But when you know that it will make the other person unhappy. You are OK with letting her go.
-But I wouldn't also accept a job offer on the other side of the country. How could someone accept that when they have you.
Catherine smiled. Besides her mocking character, Alexandra was great at flirting. She liked that.
It was late when Alexandra left. Catherine put her forehead on the door and exhaled after shutting it.
Before going to bed, she checked her smartphone to see if the alarm was set. There was a missing call, which was unexpected. She put her phone in silent mode not to be interrupted. Therefore, she did not hear it. What brought her to the state of shock was that the number of the caller started with 213 area code.