{Warnings: slight mention of suicide in this chapter during a flashback.}

Thea walked from the living room straight into their backyard. She knew Five and Vanya hadn't meant to upset her, but she couldn't sit there whilst they spoke so openly about Ben. She could hardly handle thinking about him at the best of times.

She sighed before stepping into the dreary cold, raising her eyes to the lone statue that sat in the drizzling rain. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes and this time, she didn't even try to hold them in.

Nobody could see. There was no need to pretend anymore.

Thea walked over to the statue of her lost love and sat down beside the podium. She brought her legs up to rest her arms on her knees, her head leaning against the legs of the statue, ignoring the rain that soaked her silent form.

She glanced at the plaque that adorned the statue and ran her fingers over the name engraved upon it.

Ben Hargreeves

May the darkness within you find peace in the light.

Thea didn't like the plaque. Ben had no darkness within him; even his destructive power couldn't make her believe that he had a shred of darkness within his entire being.

He was the kindest and most loving person she had ever met, and he'd made it easy for Thea to fall in love with him. She loved him so much. If she didn't believe Klaus would suffer from her death she would happily switch places, so Ben could live again.

Thea absentmindedly rubbed her thumb against her left wrist.

She wished he could have lived the life he'd deserved. As much as she was glad to have met him – nothing ever compared – she sometimes wished that Hargreeves had never adopted him because Ben didn't deserve the life he'd lived at The Umbrella Academy.

Thea liked to believe she'd made his life better, but he was so full of love to give that she truly believed he could have had a better life somewhere else. A more fulfilling life.

She sighed despondently. This was why she didn't like thinking so much, as it only brought up unhappy memories and regrets. She even struggled to reminisce on the happy times spent with Ben - and there'd been so many - because every time she did, the fact that he wasn't there beside her, laughing and sharing these memories with her made her almost double over in agony.

The pouring rain felt good against her skin as it washed away the tears she'd let flow freely down her cheeks. It felt cathartic to simply cry, something she often tried to avoid knowing it concerned her brother; something Thea was adamant to avoid at any possibility.

She heard the sound of the backdoor opening; the creaking of old hinges clear even through the rain, but she didn't bother to move. Light footsteps inched closer and as a hand came to rest on her shoulder, the pin drops of falling rain on her skin seemed to abate.

The hand moved to run its fingers soothingly through her hair and Thea let out a content sigh, recognising the owner of such comforting actions.

"Want some?" Klaus' voice whispered from above.

Thea peeked open her eyes to see her brother standing above her, hiding from the rain under a small, baby-pink umbrella. He was attempting to juggle both the umbrella and the offered joint, his spare hand busy running its way through her blonde locks.

Her lips quirked into a fond smile at his goofy display and she silently took the joint from his hands, taking a much-needed drag. It was probably disrespectful to smoke over someone's memorial statue, but Thea knew Ben would likely find it funny, if not exasperating.

He always was the goody-two-shoes out of the three of us.

"Thanks," she whispered.

Klaus hummed, continuing his soothing ministrations as he gazed down at his sister in both pity and understanding.

Klaus wasn't a stranger to the feeling of guilt; he felt it whenever he saw Thea's reactions to Ben's death. The aching in his chest would grow and grow until Klaus felt like he was dying, because he knew, deep deep down, that his sister wanted nothing more than to follow Ben.

He knew that she'd leave this world in a heartbeat if she didn't have to look after him; if she didn't feel obligated to look out and protect her other half; her twin.

Klaus knew all of this, and despite how illogical he recognised it to be, he couldn't help but feel the ugly stirrings of jealously that she felt so strongly over someone other than him. Was it so wrong of him to want to be the most important thing in his own twin's life? Like she was for him?

It was irrational and it only fueled the guilt he felt for tying her to this life, for chaining her to live and keeping her by his side, despite the many mistakes he'd made in the past.

Klaus winced as his mind flashed back to the time he'd come closest to losing his sister; a time where he was selfish enough to push her away and not cherish the amazing gift he had...

3 Years Ago

Klaus was high, as usual, and walking down a random abandoned alley to meet someone he could make a deal with when the ringing of his phone caught his attention.

He debated on ignoring it when, in the pit of his stomach, he felt a creeping sense of unease build; as though an omen of dread.

Klaus shook his head, mumbling under his breath about taking fewer pills at once next time, before sighing and pulling out his phone.

"Hello?" he mumbled lazily.

"Hello. Is this Klaus Hargreeves speaking?" a professional voice asked.

Klaus was confused. Who the hell would be calling him and how did they know his full name?

"Yeah, who's this?" he asked lowly.

"Hello, Mr Hargreeves-" Klaus shuddered at that visual, "-I'm speaking on behalf of Miss Thea Hargreeves. She has been admitted into Mount Sinai Hospital and you were first on her list of next of kin. Are you available to come and sign her out and help her home?"

Klaus felt his heart drop into his stomach. Thea was in the hospital? Since when? What had happened and was she okay?

Too caught up in his internal panic, Klaus didn't hear the woman repeating his name or the fact that she'd asked him to sign Thea out of the hospital, indicating she was okay. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart as his mind whirled with worse-case scenarios.

"-greeves. Mr Hargreeves are you there?" the woman asked again.

Klaus snapped out of his daze and rushed to speak. "Y-yes, I mean yeah I'm here. How's Thea? Is she okay? W-what happened?"

"From what it says on her file, Miss Hargreeves was found in her apartment by her neighbour after she didn't reply to his calls. He had a spare key she had given him for emergencies and let himself in. Mr Knowles says that he found Miss Hargreeves in the bath bleeding out."

Klaus felt the bile rise to his throat and he hastily covered his lips, eyes widening at the horrifying mental image.

"She was rushed to the hospital immediately and was given treatment. She is currently stable and will be able to be discharged tomorrow. Are you available to pick her up or shall I ask the next on the list?"

Klaus swallowed thickly, taking a shaky breath before replying. "Y-yeah I can pick her up. Uh, gimme ten minutes and I'll be there. Does she need anything?"

"No, Mr Hargreeves, she simply needs somebody to pick her up. Thank you for your time. Please check-in at the reception upon arrival. Goodbye, and have a good day."

The phone line went dead and the polite woman's voice disappeared; though her words rang clear through Klaus' mind. With a sudden lurch, Klaus turned direction and ran out of the alley, desperately flagged down a taxi.

"Mount Sinai Hospital, please," he said shakily to the driver. "Quickly."

When he finally arrived at the hospital and was directed toward the room she was being kept in, he saw Thea laying on the hospital bed, awake. She noticed him come in as she turned her head towards him, her eyes heavy-lidded.

"Hey," she whispered with a croaky voice.

Klaus tripped as he hastily handed her the water from her bedside table, watching as she sipped from the cup with frantic eyes. She sighed as the cool liquid soothed her sore throat and sent Klaus a small, thankful nod.

Klaus couldn't keep quiet any longer and his lips parted as he struggled to voice out his words.

"W-what happened? They said they found you bleeding out, and I-I don't understand."

His gaze had blurred as tears dripped down his cheeks. He had never felt so sober in his life. "What-what did you do?"

Thea looked down at her lap, her hair falling to hide her ashamed face. Klaus followed her gaze and his breath hitched at the sight of her heavily bandaged wrists.

"I-I'm sorry," she choked out, the tears falling and staining her white hospital gown.

"I'm so sorry Klaus. I-I didn't want to leave you, I promise, b-but I never saw you anymore and you didn't want to talk and I don't see any of the other anymore...nobody answers my calls a-and," Thea struggled to speak, her words coming out between heavy sobs.

Klaus struggled to make out the words his sister was saying; her tears and cries stuttering her speech, however, as he listened to her final words, he felt his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces.

"-and I thought that maybe...maybe Ben would want to see me, h-he must be so lonely and I thought maybe w-we could be together again."

Her face was flushed from the tears and her eyes were bloodshot; the contrast to her fair skin turning her cheeks red and accentuating the dark circles under her eyes. She looked up at Klaus, the desperation and hopelessness in her eyes so earnest, that Klaus struggled to breathe.

"I never wanted to hurt you." She sniffled before whispering with a shaking voice, her eyes shining in agony. "Half my soul left with him that night he died. I couldn't stand the pain of losing the other half with you, too."

Klaus was stunned and stood there facing his crying sister, frozen. There she sat; his twin, his other half, who he had practically ignored for the thrill of drugs and chasing that never-ending high, and she begged him for forgiveness for something that wasn't even her fault.

Klaus had always felt worthless – it was hard not to, living in a house run by someone like Reginald Hargreeves – but he'd never felt it as strongly as in this moment.

Klaus took a deep breath before doing something he'd never done in his life, something that was long overdue. He took responsibility.

He encased Thea's delicate, shaking hands into his own, bringing them up to his lips to press a gentle kiss. He met her awed gaze and sent her a living, albeit sad, smile.

Klaus Hargreeves decided at the moment in time to be the brother that Thea deserved. The kind of brother that she could be proud of and rely on.

That day, after admitting her out of the hospital and tucking themselves into bed at her home, they'd come to an agreement – albeit one that Klaus still felt guilty for to this day – and that was that Klaus would live with Thea and would give up his lifestyle of heavy drugs and intoxication.

Klaus was willing to do anything for Thea, but she understood that intoxication was his only solace from the clawing hands of the dead and so she explained to him that she would happily stand by and 'fund' his habits, if only he promised to stay away from the hard drugs and dangerous life choices.

Klaus would continue to drink and get high – only he would moderate the alcohol to a less dangerous degree and would only smoke weed from this point onwards. Both things Thea agreed to, as for as far as vices go, she understood everyone had them and Klaus' new choices were hardly imminently life-threatening.

Klaus was with Thea, holding her hand in support when she got her second tattoo – the Umbrella Academy insignia being her first – of a small tentacle that wrapped around her wrist. Placed right above one of her scars from that sorrowful day.

Thea explained it was both remembrance and an apology. A memorial to her love's powers, and an apology to that same person, as she knew deep down, that the last thing he would've wanted was for her to have met him so soon in her life.

Klaus was with Thea through it all and for the next 3 years, they lived side by side, closer than they ever had before.

End of flashback

The opening of the door brought the twins out of their heavy thoughts and Thea looked over at Luther, who was carrying their Father's ashes in his large hands. The rest of the Hargreeves siblings walked out after him, followed by Grace and Pogo.

Vanya, Allison, Five and Grace all held black umbrellas to shelter them from the rain. Luther and Diego had brought nothing and the rain began to soak them quickly.

The siblings looked towards Klaus and Thea with sympathy in their eyes. Seeing this, Thea discreetly wiped her eyes before grabbing her brother's hand and walking over to line up like the others. Klaus kept his arm curled protectively around her as they shared his tiny umbrella.

Luther walked to stand at the front of their little gathering, a grim expression on his face.

"Did something happen?" Grace asked cluelessly.

Thea frowned in her direction, as did the others.

"Dad died. Remember?" Allison said with furrowed brows, her eyes gazing across their mother's form, as though searching for any malfunctions.

"Oh. Yes, of course," Grace replied solemnly.

"Is Mom okay?" Allison muttered in concern.

Diego was first to defend her, his eyes anxious as he looked at their mother. "Yeah, yeah, she's fine. She just needs to rest. Y'know, recharge."

Thea raised a brow at his explanation, unsure, but unwilling to push the issue further. Pogo walked towards them, looking at Luther with a heavy frown.

"Whenever you're ready, dear boy."

Luther took a deep breath and opened the urn, spilling the ashes ceremoniously. Thea cringed into Klaus' chest as instead of being carried off into the wind, the ashes dropped pathetically into a lopsided pile on the ground.

Luther expression turned sheepish and he grimaced at the ugly grey pile. "Probably would've been better with some wind..."

Pogo broke the awkward silence with a cough, his solemn eyes staring at the gathered siblings. "Does anyone wish to speak?"

Another awkward silence followed Pogo's question, as nobody dared speak up. Thea was sure all of them had something to say in regard to Reginald Hargreeves' death, but they all seemed to agree that a memorial wasn't the time and place to speak the ugly truth.

Cause that's what Father taught best, didn't he? Bottling up your emotions until you're so emotionally unavailable you can't even speak your mind anymore.

Pogo shifted uncomfortably as the silence stretched on. "Very well, I wish to speak. In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt."

As she listened to his heartfelt words, Thea felt a stirring of sympathy for Pogo. She understood where he came from, as she couldn't imagine what it must be like to know that without Sir Hargreeves' interference, they'd just be a simple ape. She wondered if she'd feel indebted towards the man if he'd have given them their powers.

Probably not. She thought dryly, he would have only done it as an experiment to be documented anyway. Not as a favour, or as a better way of life. Just as a means to an end.

"He was my master..." Pogo continued, "and my friend and I shall miss him very much. He leaves behind a complicated legacy-"

"He was a monster." Diego cut in spitefully, his hateful eyes glaring down at the pile of ashes.

Klaus let out a startled chuckle at his blunt comment and Thea bit her lip to stop the amused giggle that threatened to pass her lips.

"He was a bad person and a worse father. The worlds better off without him." Diego continued to stare at the ashes with a blank look on his face; his eyes distant as though reliving his worst memories of their father.

"Diego," Allison reprimanded in a harsh whisper.

Diego didn't stop, ignoring the incredulous and amused looks he was garnering. "My name is Number Two. Y'know why? Because our father couldn't be bothered to give us actual names."

Everyone looked down at that, the ugly truth hitting closer to home than they'd like.

"He had Mom do it."

"Would anyone like something to eat?" Grace asked, clueless to the building animosity around her.

Vanya smiled at her in pity, "No, it's okay, Mom."

"Oh, okay," she smiled blankly, staring off into the distance again.

Diego stalked forward, pausing just before he reached the pile of ashes. "Look, you wanna pay your respects? Go ahead. But at least be honest about the kind of man he was."

"You should stop talking now," Luther growled threateningly. His face was dark with malice as he glared at Diego.

"You know, you of all people should be on my side here, Number One," Diego taunted, redirecting his anger onto their brother.

"I am warning you." Luther took a step forward, his large frame creating an intimidating sight.

"You still respect him despite the fact you know he never loved you," he continued in a cruel tone. "You truly believe he thought of you as a leader, but you know deep down that you only got that title because Thea didn't want it."

Thea clenched her jaw at that truth letting slip, narrowing her eyes at Diego for being such a loudmouth. The others all looked confused, their eyes glancing between Thea, Luther and Diego.

"What do you mean? Luther? Thea?" Allison asked, looking to each of them.

Five looked up at Thea in question, his thick brows furrowed whilst Vanya just looked even more lost. Luther looked down at his feet, gritting his teeth.

Diego smirked at the reaction he got, knowing where to aim his insults to hit home. "Oh, didn't you know Allison? Our dear Number One wasn't given that leader badge all on his own merit. No, no, dear Dad gave it to him after Zero here refused."

Everyone turned shocked eyes towards Thea who pointedly refused to meet their eyes.

"Is that true?" Allison asked.

Thea glared heatedly at Diego for bringing her into his little pissing contest with Luther. This was exactly why she'd turned down the bloody position; she hated the tension and animosity that came with fighting for the top position.

"I guess...probably just made sense for Zero to come before One, I suppose," she said carelessly, shrugging to emphasise her point.

Honestly, she was sick of tip-toeing around this issue. She was Number Zero and everyone knew it, what did their shitty little rankings even matter, anyway? She hadn't wanted the power or responsibility that came with leadership, so she'd refused.

Big deal.

"I-I never knew, I just assumed..." Allison trailed off awkwardly.

Everyone seemed a little taken aback by the news but Thea sighed and leant back against her brother's hold, honestly done with this whole memorial.

"Who gives a shit anyway? That was years ago, it doesn't change anything." Everyone heard the steel edge to her tone and knew to leave it at that. Diego, however, was too riled up to stop now and he turned back to face Luther, another plan in mind.

"After everything he did to you, he had to ship you a million miles away," he muttered.

Luther was clenching his teeth, "Diego. Stop. Talking."

"That's how much he couldn't stand the sight of you!" Diego shouted, hitting Luther's chest to emphasise his point.

Luther, having reached the end of his patience, smacked the offending hand away before swinging his fist toward Diego. The man dodged but not before sending a punch of his own back toward the taller.

Vanya and Allison had moved themselves and Grace backwards away from the fight and Klaus took a hasty step back, his arms tightening around Thea. Without thinking, Thea had moved her arm in front of Five who stood beside them, shielding him from the ongoing brawl. Five scowled at the action but immediately softened at seeing his sister's concerned expression.

"Boys. Stop this at once!" Pogo shouted, trying to be heard over the rain and grunts of the two fighting men.

Diego and Luther ignored him, continuing to throw punches at one another.

"Come on, big boy!" Diego shouted, egging an enraged Luther on.

Luther threw a heavy punch at him but Diego was ready and swiftly ducked, spinning around his body and hitting Luther multiple times on the back.

Thea blocked them both out, not having the energy to deal with their shit. Diego had already pissed her off by bringing her into their fight and the fact Luther had been childish enough to rise to his obvious bait just made her even madder.

What fucking children.

She felt as Five shuffled away from beside her, muttering his annoyance with the immature display. She hardly heard what he was saying, too deep in thought to really bother listening.

This whole affair just described her family perfectly; fucked up.

Who fights at a bloody memorial service? Even if it is for the biggest dickhead alive. Pretty sure it's still classed as desecrating the dead.

Diego had moved to stand in front of Ben's statue and as Luther went to punch him, he dodged at the last second. Luther, unable to stop his punch in time, hit the statue at full force, sending it careening off of its pedestal and smashing onto the ground; Ben's head breaking clean off.

Thea felt time slow down as she stared at the smashed statue in muted horror. Her breath was lodged in her throat and her chest was tight with agony. She felt like crying and laughing all at once and as nothing passed by her parted lips, she continued to stare blankly at the decapitated marble head of her lost love.

Klaus' breath hitched from behind her and his arm squeezed her tightly against his chest as he too, stared at the broken figure that now lay on the cold ground.

"And there goes Ben's statue," Allison said in disappointment. She looked over at Thea and felt her heart ache in pity.

Nobody moved after Allison's statement, the realisation of what they'd done truly sinking in. Luther and Diego both frowned in guilt, their breaths coming out in soft pants after their impromptu fight.

Mechanically, Thea lifted her hand, removing herself from Klaus' tight grip. Before he could stop her, she slowly walked past her siblings and towards the statue, her demeanour deceptively calm.

Everyone was frozen in place, not knowing what to do or say. They daren't try and comfort the girl, knowing from experience that a calm Thea was even more dangerous than an angry one.

Thea lovingly picked up the statues decapitated head and gazed down at it with blank eyes. Her thumb rubbed over his cheeks as she imagined, for just a moment, that it was really her Ben. Her eyes welled up and the tears landed onto the statue's cheeks, rolling their way down its face.

Her heart suddenly felt emptier than before. Her mind too calm; the rain around her almost muffled as she stared into marble eyes.

Luther stepped forward hesitantly. "Thea, I-"

"Stop," she commanded.

Her voice was gravelly as she whispered out the words, but the underlying steel was clear. She delicately cradled Ben's face, running a thumb across a soft cheek before turning around and setting it down onto the podium. Letting her gaze linger on the face for a second longer, Thea then turned toward her siblings.

Her expression was eerily blank, but her eyes were brimming with tears. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, almost a whisper but it cracked at intervals, the brimming emotions evident despite her perfect poker face.

"I understand that you two have the constant need to out-do the other, and I also understand that you both lack the mental capacity to grow up and move on from your pathetic, useless arguments. What I don't understand, however, is your incessant need to ruin everything for everybody else."

Luther and Diego both wore shocked expressions at her comments, the hurt evident in their eyes. Pogo wanted to stop the girl from saying any more but knew it wasn't his place to interfere. Plus, he agreed that the two boys had gone too far this time and that they'd have to face the consequences for their childish actions.

Luther took a step towards Thea, intending on sorting the situation out but he stopped in his tracks involuntarily, a pained grimace on his face.

Concerned, Allison moved to check on him but felt he body freezing in its place, too. She looked towards Thea in shock, causing the others to follow her line of sight.

"Don't move, Allison. I don't want to hurt you, you did nothing wrong," Thea said softly, a hint of warning in her voice.

Luther's face was still clearly showing his pain; his eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw clenched tightly. Thea turned blank eyes toward Diego and not a second later, the man's face winced as he felt his head begin to throb; as though all the pressure was squeezing him tight.

Pogo decided it was time to step in, knowing the upset Thea was taking things too far in her grief.

"My dear, I understand you're upset, but there is no need to hurt Master Luther or Diego."

Thea ignored him, quieting his protests with a mere glance in his direction, not letting up on her mental attack on her two brothers. She narrowed her damp eyes at the two and they both dropped to their knees, letting out shouts of pain as they felt the pressure increase exponentially.

Thea felt no pity for the sight in front of her; wanting them to understand what they'd done. She wasn't even putting in much effort, derisively mocking their low threshold for pain.

They deserve it. They deserve it. It's not fair. They always do this. They never think of anyone but themselves. They deserve to feel what their actions have done.

She continued this mantra in her head. Thea honestly never enjoyed blindly hurting anyone, the act of simply inflicting pain for no reason did nothing for her, she instead only felt the satisfaction when someone wronged her - or hurt those she loved.

However, at this moment in time, she was too upset to consider her morals. Luther and Diego only ever seemed to think about themselves and their carelessness often hurt more people than they realised.

"Thea, please. Please stop, you're hurting them, please-" Allison began begging, her wide eyes staring at a grunting Luther in fear.

Allison couldn't even move from her place, neither could Pogo. Vanya didn't even attempt it. She didn't like what Thea was doing – it scared her – but she could understand where her sister was coming from. She understood crushing loneliness and the pain that came with the reminder of how sad you really were.

Klaus only watched his sister in sadness. He wanted to scream at Luther and Diego for being so reckless – even if he'd kind of been egging them on at first – but he'd never thought they'd have broken Ben's statue.

He sighed, knowing he should intervene before Thea did something she'd later regret. He knew she didn't like hurting anyone, but she was too overcome with grief to see that what she was doing wasn't right. They never use their powers on one another. Not in a negative way, at least.

He slowly walked over to his sister and cupped her small face in his hands. Her eyes were glazed over with tears and she looked so lost in that moment that Klaus felt his own eyes tear up.

"Thea. This isn't the way, not like this." Her eyes cleared a little and he continued. "You know he wouldn't want this. You know that."

Klaus leant down and kissed her forehead lovingly. "Come on, let's go inside. I'll make you a hot chocolate, okay?"

She didn't answer but took his hand in her own. Taking that as a yes, Klaus led an unresponsive Thea past their siblings and toward the door. As they passed, Luther and Diego dropped to the ground in relief, Thea's control finally breaking.

Allison immediately ran over to Luther, now able to move again. Klaus opened the door for Thea and gave her a gentle nudge inside. Before following her in, he looked back at his family, a serious expression on his face.

"I can't believe I'm saying this – being the resident disappointment and all – but, you fucked up." Klaus shook his head before going inside. "Best funeral ever," muttered sarcastically.

Allison scoffed in disappointment at the two men crouched on the ground and followed Klaus inside. Pogo led a clueless Grace out, Vanya following suit. She looked down at Luther and Diego with wide eyes.

"You never know when to stop, do you?"

As hurt as he was, Diego didn't want to hear a lecture from Vanya of all people.

"You got enough material for your sequel yet?" he snapped back.

Luther wisely stayed quiet. Vanya stared back at him, her usually timid gaze set into a firm stare.

"He was my father too. And Thea treated me better than all of you." She shook her head in disappointment and left, following her family into the house.

Diego and Luther were left standing in the rain, a heavy feeling in their chests.