Chapter 35
During the semester, there were no complications. The classes started and so did Catherine's hectic work days. She loved the way work filled her empty life and let her think on personal stuff less.
Non-work time made her happy only when she was around Alexandra. The latter was kind enough to make her laugh, listen to various anecdotes and talk about issues she would not normally talk. They would still share their coffee break times and enjoy their time out of school when going for a drink or dinner. Although they were friendly, they did not meet at home knowing that it might lead to an uncomfortable situation.
A month after classes started, Catherine was on her way to one of Alexandra's classes. The class should have ended soon and she was rushing towards the classroom with two coffees. She wanted to catch her off-guard. As soon as she reached the nearby of the classroom, the door burst and students started leaving in a hurry. Some of them did not rush since they had questions to ask. After a few minutes, Alexandra appeared on the door and Catherine greeted her with a smile along the coffee.
-How are you doing?
-Exhausted. That was the last class but it is like my jaw needs a therapy. And that thing in your hand smells amazing.
-Lucky you, I got it just for you.
Catherine passed her one of the cups while laughing and continued on:
-So what are your plans for ..?
-Professor Slonim!
Both Alexandra and Catherine turned around. Catherine saw a girl with dark long hair and with attractive facial construction. Suddenly she felt a strange saltiness in her stomach.
-My apologies for interrupting your talk. It is just... I'd really like to get your opinion on whether I should use Freud in the essay.
-It is OK. Well, I think Freud might be a little bit complicated for you. You are a sophomore and usually, seniors rely on him to base their essays on. And not all of them by the way. He is quite difficult, Jane. I would suggest you look for other scholars and then ask for my feedback.
-I know, I did it already! I have the list with me...
While they were talking, Catherine observed the girl. It was like she is interested to keep this talk as long as possible. Besides, she was very nervous and really tried to get Alexandra's attention. Catherine knew exactly why. She knew the "type". She knew it all well.
-Could you please look at it?
-I would be glad to. But I don't want to make my colleague wait longer. How about you email me in the evening? I will respond to you with my available time slots. OK?
A disappointment appeared on the girl's face immediately. She looked at Catherine with an annoyed face and Catherine knew why.
The girl nodded and thanked Alexandra with a smile. After she turned around and distanced herself, both women went on their walk while sipping their coffees.
-Seems like a diligent student.
-Oh, she is. She is a nice girl but sometimes annoying.
-Annoying?
-Yes. Well, whatever I ask in the class and she raises her hand. Whatever I say in the class, she comes to me after and asks questions about obvious things. Unfortunately, there have been so much of her recently that I got annoyed. But other than that she is smart and nice.
Catherine smirked and said:
-Why do you think she acts like that?
-How would I know? Probably, she desperately needs attention to get a better grade. I am ready to give it to her so she would leave me alone.
Catherine chose silence over an explanation.
That evening Catherine was thinking about what happened at the campus. She was not used to seeing students going after someone else. It was her who was attracting young students. Catherine started thinking over herself getting older. Probably that is why she could not attract anyone in New York. Years were doing their stuff on her.
Thinking about that made her fell into more stress. She could not handle it. She wanted to make herself to do something more that night. Something more than going laying on the couch, snuggling with a blanket and watching a retro drama on TV. She stood up and went to her bedroom, where she went through her wardrobe.
When she was leaving home, she was all dressed-up, ready to conquer the outside world.
About an hour later she pushed on brakes and stopped the car in front of an apartment in Park Slope. Looking at the lights on one of the windows she had an uneasiness that made her reluctant to go further but she took the bottle of wine she bought on her way and left the car.
Catherine heard the voice she wanted to hear when she buzzed the door. At first, she could not speak but she forced herself anyway saying, "It is me. I wanted to see you."
When the door opened, Catherine could tell that Alexandra did not expect to see her. Not only her facial expressions but also her appearance told so. She was wearing pajama pants with a Yale hoodie.
-I'm sorry. I was at a party nearby and got bored. So, I bought a bottle of wine and thought I will pay you a visit. But if you are not in a mood, I can leave.
Alexandra who was already in a mild state of shock realized she has to say something.
-No... I'm sorry. It's just... It is a little bit unexpected.
Said Alexandra, smiling and holding out her hand for the bottle.
-Come in.
Catherine went inside and saw the lamp on the work-desk to be on.
-Were you reading?
-I was reading my doctoral thesis. I do it once a month to see all the flaws and no matter how I much I do it, there is always something that I want to add or replace. It is going to drive me crazy.
She smiled at Catherine while putting the glasses on the table.
-What is the name of your thesis?
-Placement of immigrants in the social hierarchy in the USA.
-Really? So how is the situation?
Asked Catherine with a tease.
-Terrible.
Said Alexandra and popped the cork.
-And I am going to tell you... It is going to get even worse.
-The US has the best environment for immigrants. Thanks.
Catherine took a glass Alexandra was holding.
-The best maybe but it is not ideal. Plus, it will get even worse.
Alexandra sat down by Catherine on the other side of the couch.
-So where was this party?
-Umm...Brooklyn Heights.
Catherine mastered the art of lying and she loved it.
-I thought you did not have anyone in New York.
Catherine looked at Alexandra and for a moment thought she is interrogating her.
-Well, not literally. I know a few people but I am not close to them.
Alexandra suspiciously looked at her.
-Well if someone is inviting you to their birthday party, then you must be close.
Catherine dived into silence thinking Alexandra must have understood.
-I never understood those people who would invite everyone to their birthdays.
Catherine felt a relief.
-I mean come on. Birthdays should be something personal. I hate when people I barely know invite me to their birthday parties. I hate people who invite me to their children's birthday party even more.
Catherine smiled with a relief that Alexandra did not get her lie. But also rushed to change the subject.
-How are you?
-Fine.
A silence between them was interrupted when Catherine remembered about photos.
-Are you going to show me the photos you shot during your trip?
-Ohhh... the photos!
Alexandra ran to her work-desk and returned back with a hard drive which she connected to her TV. Once she turned on her TV, they started watching photo slides. Alexandra was going through each photo with a detailed description. The evening was interesting and they were having fun. The bottle Catherine brought with herself was already empty.
In the beginning, Alexandra sat at a distance from Catherine. There was a huge space between them. An hour later, Catherine already surmounted that distance and sat close to her. Looking at her carefully, she reached out and grabbed her face while the other was talking. Her lips were rudely haunting Alexandra's lips. When the latter almost begged with a lower voice:
-Cathe...
Catherine used her tongue to silence her. Biting her lips and taking down her pajama pants while caressing her breasts with the free hand, Catherine knew she is getting power and dominance over her. She liked it. She liked it so much that when Alexandra was moving in spasms of sweet agony, she was getting no less satisfaction.
Alexandra sat and hugged her legs thinking over something. Catherine sitting right next to her tucked a piece of her hair into the back of her ear.
-Didn't you like it? That was the first time I saw you so vulnerable.
Catherine put her hand on her hand and that was the moment Alexandra held back her hand.
-I wish you did not do it.
-Why? You liked it and I can tell that with a clean consciousness.
-Look, Catherine... You cannot come into my place in the evening just because you wanted to fuck someone.
Catherine's eyes widened. She did not expect that coming. Alexandra stood up and started going back and forth, talking nervously.
-There was no party, right? You just made up the whole thing to come here and do me.
Catherine was silent. She did not want to refuse anything because she could not make up a good lie after all of these. Therefore, she went straightforward.
-Yes. But does it matter? What is wrong with me "blowing some steam"? You did the same thing to me a few times. So what is wrong with it now?
Alexandra hushed and Catherine could not think of anything else:
-Did you meet someone during the trip? Is that what it is all about?
-No. I did not.
-Then what is wrong?
-I can't... I don't want to sleep with you.
-Why?
Alexandra did not look at her. She turned away her face.
-Are you going to talk to me?
A new wave of silence.
-As you wish. But do not come close to me anymore.
Said Catherine and took her trench coat leaving and slamming the door behind.