Asami
"Get whatever you want. All I know is….I want you."
Is my mind playing tricks on me? Did I just hear what I thought I just heard? This has to be a mistake. Korra would never say those words. It wouldn't make sense. I make her uncomfortable! Don't I?
The star strucked manager rushes back over to our table, allowing me to ponder over all of this.
"I'm guessing from the look on both your faces, you're ready to order?" He asks, delighted.
Before I could utter a word, she speaks.
"I'm sorry if I came across too forward. I wasn't before, so…. I don't know what's too much? I honestly don't know what to say. I mean…I know what to say… it's just how I want it to be interpreted, that's difficult .
I had months to really think about my past actions. Which was enough time to take in consideration that I didn't just hurt Mako, but you as well. And I'm not just talking about not returning the feelings for you at the time.
Because at the time, I certainly did feel something for you. But I was in no shape or form ready to admit that to you, nor to myself.
I didn't really think about my feelings in depth, until that kiss. I would be lying if I told you I didn't want that to happen. Because.. I did want the kiss, but not like that.
Maybe it was out of curiosity? Or maybe I admired you so much, I wanted some type of closeness ? Regardless of the reasons, I wanted it. But I didn't however….want it to happen the way it did. Especially when I was already in a relationship.
I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't done thinking about everything .
I was already secretly dissecting my feelings. Debating whether it was a crush or whether I wanted something more. I wanted to be sure about my feelings before I made a decision.
Even though I forgave you, I went through a period of regrets. I would regret not ignoring my feelings early on. I would regret, not kissing you back, even though I knew it was wrong. I would regret, not seeing Mako's past disrespectful ways towards you. And I certainly regreted, not telling you the day I came to your apartment that your feelings weren't one sided.
Despite how unsure I was, I should have told you. I might look foolish rambling about things that probably didn't make sense, but I think you would have helped me. I doubt I would have needed it though... Because I did want to be with you, and I still do.
The manager slowly backs away from our table, as I try to process all this information.
If I thought I was speechless before, this takes the cake. Even if I did have something to say, where would I start? Yes, there were times/moments where I knew there had to be more to us. And I'm not just saying that because I allowed my mind to put together this imaginary relationship of ours.
Either way, I genuinely felt there were times where Korra was….different. Not different in a bad way, but different as in, she was purposely acting a type of way. Those were the signs, and I either missed it, or I tried to ignore it.
I just know, this is a lot to take in.
"I'm not telling you this because I expect something to happen between us. It's just...I'm sure you spent most of your time hating yourself for what happened between us. But I'm here to personally say, I equally share some of that blame, If not the most of it.
I'm sorry, Asami.
If you can take anything from all of this, I hope you take the apology. You deserve it, and so much more."
Something about her confidence saying all of this, makes me admire her even more. And it has nothing to do with attraction, she's truly a respectable person. She could have easily not told me about her emotions and try to form something with me. But the fact she did, is just…wow.
What she told me, must had been hard for her. Dealing with Mako, me, and herself! That had to be tough. Sure, if you really think about it. All parties were in the wrong, in some type of way. However, she was the one truly in the middle.
Which means, she had a much better chance stopping everything. Of course, that doesn't change what happened. But, still…her input would have been most valued/ respected compared to my ex-boss and I.
Ignoring my warning signs of invading her personal space, I reach across the table and grab her hand. An action she clearly wasn't expecting.
"It's alright. Whatever you're thinking about right now, it's okay."
She smiles through her tears.
"How can you say that? You may be alright now, but I hurt you."
She can't be thinking like this. Hurt, is the last thing I'm feeling. Shocked, maybe? But I certainly don't wish anything ill upon her. I'm sort of proud of her. No! I am proud of her. I'm proud of us.
Even though, we never spoke of the matter until now, in a way…. We still made an effort to reconnect. Most people in our predicament would have avoided each other at all cost. We didn't take that route, so that counts as a win.
Not letting go of her hand, I get up and join her on her side of the booth. She tries to scoot over to provide me with more room, but I stop her.
We don't need any more distance between us.
"Is this why you deleted all your social media accounts?" I ask.
"A part of it, but not entirely. With my fighting career over, I really needed time to reflect and grow. It's kind of hard doing so, when you're reminded of your past lives. I couldn't bear to see my old pictures and videos , because I no longer felt like the woman on the screen. I wouldn't say my change was a bad thing, I feel more wise in a way. I see it as 'creating a new beginning' Freshmen vs Senior me'. "
I can't help but giggle at her comparison. Seeing her smile, and tears drying, makes me feel a little better.
I never liked seeing her cry.
"What about you? Did I influence teaching in a whole another continent?"
"A part of it, like you said. I lost a lot, and the only thing I found fit, was giving back. And I'm glad I made such a choice, I enjoyed teaching the children."
"I bet they enjoyed you as well. Jinora speaks highly of you. If you could encourage her to challenge herself, those children were taught by an angel."
Not even the dimness of the pizzeria, could hide my blush.
The manager quickly walks pass us trying to give us privacy, unlike before. Despite his action, Korra flags him down.
"Excuse me, Ronald. We're ready to order."
Just by hearing the Champ call his name, the manager rushes back over to us.
"What can I get you two lovely ladies?"
"Can we get, mozzarella sticks, garlic knots, buffalo wings, french fries, and …a personal pineapple pizza, please?" Korra says, looking at me for confirmation. But, all I can think about is, how she remembered all the suggestions I said.
"That should be good." I reply to Ronald, hopeful this will be the last time he interrupts us. I know he's just doing his job, but I really like talking to her like this. This is the first time we're interacting without my mind analyzing everything.
Or is it? I'm not sure. I'm a Libra. Apparently I'm indecisive. Which I don't believe being true….. or do I?
With Ronald gone, I have two questions that I have always been curious of knowing.
"Does Mako know about this?" I ask, not wanting to be specific, because I honestly don't know what to call this or whatever we're doing.
I know it's not a relationship, because God knows there is a lot to discuss. But it's certainly not a friendship either. It's like we're in limbo of the friend zone. I don't want to look into this matter too much, I just want to enjoy this moment.
There goes my analyzing ways again.
"Yes. This topic was brought up so many times in our relationship, I think he accepted it before I even did. Regardless of your question. Our 'connection' wasn't the main reason why Mako and I didn't work out. People outgrow each other, even when they're in love. We both felt as if, we were limiting ourselves/each other. It was the most mature thing we both ever did in our relationship."
Wow! Mako being civil? I wish I could see that!
I have to stop thinking like this.
People can change, It seems like we all did. I just hope he's truly contempt about everything. I would hate for there to be a grudge.
Korra
Words can't describe how pleased/relieved this all went. It could have went south, and I was prepared for it. No, I expected it. Asami probably spent most of her time hating herself. Time, I wished didn't pass till we reconnected again. That can take a toll on someone. I'm truly blessed by this outcome.
"So? Are you still jealous of your prodigy?" she asks, laying her head onto my shoulder, which I allow.
I wish I could say I missed this, but I don't. Because being with her now, is way better than before.
"Who?" I ask, enjoying this closeness of ours.
"Suki."
Before I could reply, she places her hand onto my chest, feeling my heart, which is currently beating above my normal rate. Hopefully it's due to the question itself, and not the placement of her hand.
"You're still jealous!" She says, which makes me blush.
"I'm not jealous? Why would you think that?"
"Do you really want to know?"
Even her smug smile, makes me find her adorable. I just wished she didn't have to put me in the hot seat like this. I don't mind talking about intimate topics, such as Mako and I, but my fighter? That's taking it to a whole another ball game.
As a coach, I admire the girl. She's an amazing fighter, and I'm honored to train her. As a friend, she's very lively. So I can see why people are drawn to her. But, when it comes to Asami's and hers' relationship, that's just….difficult to explain. And judging by Asami's concerned look, I guess I'll have to try.
"I wouldn't call it jealousy…. it's more like, wanting to be a part of the inside jokes you both share."
"So if I told you, me and her were in a relationship, you wouldn't feel some type of way about it?" She asks, making me laugh now.
Not seeing her smile, makes my laughter halt.
"Are you serious? You're dating my fighter?"
Talk about awkward! This is crazy! I know Asami didn't confirm she still may have feelings for me, but I didn't expect this.
Suki never talked about dating Asami. Then again, I could see her telling Suki to keep It on the wraps, for my sake.
They're always on the phone together, I should had put the two and two together. What am I talking about? Of course they're dating. Their connection is so off the charts, If I didn't have my own feelings to consider, I would probably write fan fiction for the couple. I ship them that much!
I don't know how I can take in this information. On the surface, I can see myself being happy. But inside, I would have to accept this news a little longer.
"I'm just kidding. We aren't dating, she's just my best friend."
I don't know if it was the sight of her seeing relief being lifted off my face, or what. But I suddenly feel a small kiss be placed upon my cheek.
"I'm sorry, was that okay? I know I heard what you told me, but that doesn't technically give me the right to do that."
"No! That's fine, I'm okay with that. It's cool, I don't mind. Thank you-I don't know why I'm thanking you..."
Ronald returns and starts putting some of our food onto the table.
"Have you always been this adorable when you aren't putting up a front?" she asks.
"Who said I was putting up a front?"
She eyes me, clearly not buying my front.
"I'm serious! I don't put on a front, you just never seen this side of me."
"Mmhm, so there is more sides of you?"
"Of course. The more you hang out with me, the more you'll see." I reply, deciding to start with the mozzarella sticks first.
"I hope so. We have to make up for lost time."
"I agree. I really did miss you."
"Aww. I missed you too! Therefore, you'll have to remind me when I get off track, trying to make up for my past loneliness."
I look at her disgusted, as she sets down her pineapple pizza slice.
How is such a pizza even normal? I don't blame her for ordering the dish. I blame the creator of such an abomination of a combination.
" Off track by how? What are you talking about?" I ask. The heat of my cheese stick, causes me to fan my mouth.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Sure." I reply, sipping my drink, trying to cool my tongue. Sadly, I think the damage is already done. Not even the crisp and refreshing Sierra Mist, could cure my burn.
Too occupied with my oral health, it takes me a while to notice the warm hand laying on my thigh. I wouldn't had mind if it was my knee, because…that's your knee. I could probably ignore the hand placement, if she wasn't staring at me as if I'm her prey or something.
Before I could address her hand placement or question her motives behind it, she returns her hand back onto the tabletop.
"You know? Stuff like that. But that was just an example. As long as we're together, you won't have anything to worry about. However…I been told I can be a bit needy." Placing her hand back onto the same location.I feel a ticklish feeling inside the pit of my stomach.
I only felt such feeling a couple of times in my life, and even with that, it wasn't as strong compared to now. It usually happens when Mako and I are making out, and things become a bit intense... Regardless of the reason, I don't understand why one subtle movement could cause my body to react the way it is?
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm just trying to make sure my tongue still works." I reply, placing my hand on top of her's.
Everything worked out better than I could had expected. I should be enjoying that, instead of worry about these new feelings/thoughts going on inside my body.
I just need take relax, we're at a good place.
Author's Note
I know it's a short chapter, but it opens up a whole world of longer/better scenarios to happen in the future. And I look forward into showing these two's growth.
Also, I noticed some of the words I write disappear. So if that happens, I usually catch it then reenter them. I'm calling it a quits for tonight, so I'll check tomorrow.
Thoughts are appreciated.