Asami
As I'm pushing my cart inside the Whole Foods, Kuvira tells me about this conspiracy theory show she has been watching.
"I'm telling you, Sami. The government doesn't want us to know these things!"
" Yep! I bet they're listening to us right now." I reply, sarcastically.
"How's your girlfriend?" Vira asks.
"She's not my girlfriend!" I stress.
"Mhm. You two have been hanging out way more than friends do."
"We haven't seen each other in a while, we're just catching up. On another note, she has been acting a little weird lately."
"Please do tell!"
"I don't know how to explain it. We were good. You know? Chilling and having a good time. Then all of a sudden, things became off between us. It's not like she's being mean, it's just.. different."
"Did you ask her about it?"
"That would probably make the situation worse!"
"Umm. Didn't you two have a communication problem before?"
"Yeah…" I surrender.
"Great! Problem solved. Just ask her why she's acting like a werido. When do you see her again?"
"She's not a werido, and... I see her In an hour." I lie.
I invited Korra to my shopping trip, because I knew she would come in handy when it came to my new life of clean eating.
If I told Kuvira she was here, my friend would just tease me even more. And I don't need that in my life!
"I have to go, Vira." I reply, watching Korra make her way over with two cases of water bottles.
"Find out what's going on with your girlfriend!"
Not wanting to reply in front of Korra, I end the call.
"Why are you carrying two cases of water? Why not grab a cart?" I ask.
"Some guy asked if I needed help carrying one pack, so I took his offer as a challenge and carried two."
I laugh.
"You're such a show off."
"No way! If I picked up three cases, that would be showing off. Did you get anything good while I was gone?" She asks.
"Hmm. If you get inside the cart, I could say yes." I tease.
She looks around, then jumps inside.
"Are you crazy? You're a grown woman!"
"Nope. I'm just lazy. Now push me to the next aisle."
Not seeing the point in protesting, I start pushing the cart.
"Sheesh, Asami. How come we aren't moving? I'm not that heavy."
She may not be heavy, but the cases of water and groceries are!
Once I get a nice momentum going, the cart begins to move. Slowly, but gradually.
"Do you want me to drop you off, back at your apartment?" I ask, heading to the frozen food aisle.
"Sure. Whatever is best for you."
I really don't want to end our outing together.
Then again, I don't want to overdo it with our hanging out. I also don't want to force the question 'What are we?'.
I know she said she has feelings for me, but that could have very well changed since her last confession. And not to mention, how different she has been acting lately.
Different to the point, I look uncomfortable, just trying to make her comfortable. The most intimate thing we have done was hold hands. So I doubt our closeness is a problem.
I hate to admit this but..Kuivira is right. If we don't talk about these things, problems are bound to happen. And I refuse to allow uncertainties, break our bond.
"Do you want to come over and watch the new Stephen King movie?" I ask.
She looks up from her phone and I'm faced with those blue crystal eyes of her's.
"IT? Isn't that in theaters? How do you have the movie at home" She asks.
Aww. Why does she have to sound so innocent?
I was referring to the new movie on Netflix. However, if she really wants to watch 'IT', I'm not against investing into a firestick. Then again, I'm not sure how she would feel watching a movie in such an unethical way.
"It's a movie called 1922, not the clown one.I'm not a big fan of clowns."
"Wow. I didn't take you as the person to be afraid of clowns. Those type of movies don't frighten me.
Of course you wouldn't be afraid of clowns, you dated one!
"You don't have to come over if you're busy. I basically stole you this whole morning." I explain.
"It's fine, I don't mind it. I like running errands with you. I'm down to watch a movie."
My internal excitement is short lived when an employee comes around the corner, annoyed.
"Ma'am can you please exit out of the cart? If something happens to you, the store and I could be held accountable."
Korra quickly complies, lifting her body out with ease.
I never been so jealous of a shopping cart in my life.
"Sorry about that, Sir." Korra says.
Her apology gets a forced smile and a quick exit from the gentlemen.
"Oooh you got in trouble." I tell the trouble maker.
"I don't understand his problem. Out of all this food, he's worried about me?" She whines.
Does stuff like this, really grind her gears?
That's just adorable.
Thank's to Korra's help, she turned my usual five car trips, into two.
She has been nothing but a lifesaver.
"Do you need anything from the kitchen?" I ask.
"Trust me, Asami. We just spent the past 30 minutes stocking up your cabinets. If I wanted to grab something, I would have."
"Ohhh. We have a smart ass, over here."
"Hey! I'm just letting you know."
With the remote now in my possession, I sit beside the wise guy, and switch through the various tv apps to find Netflix. And the moment I do so, the tv screen goes black.
"Fuck! I told electrical last week about this problem!" I state, frustrated.
This is ridiculous! This isn't the first time this happened. If my TV lost connection any other time, I wouldn't have cared. But the fact it did today, with Korra here... That's nerve wrecking! What are we supposed to do? What am I going to do?
"Do you want me to go downstairs and see if someone can fix it?"
The sound of Korra's voice, reminds me I'm not alone and I shouldn't be throwing a fit over loss connection.
"No, I'll call them later today." I reply.
"We can always go to my place." She suggests.
I shake my head, disagreeing.
It doesn't make sense for us to drive towards the opposite side of the city, all due to an inconvenience on my part.
The feeling of someone placing their hand onto my shoulder, pulls me out of my thought process.
"I agreed to come over so I could be with you, the movie was just a plus. Do you still have your laptop?" She asks.
"Mmhm."
"Then problem solved! It's not the end of the world, we're still together."
How can she be so great?
Korra
I'm not a huge fan of scary movies, but this one is more of a thriller. A mystery, some might say. Despite how you may judge it, it's an interesting film.
Due to Asami's constant gasps at every twist and turn, she's definitely enjoying the film too.
She's practically on the edge of her seat. Well…not literally, because we're watching the movie on her bed.
And I feel like the luckiest person on the planet, just being close to her. Even the whole TV temper tantrum of her's, made her look just as adorable.
I was torn between comforting her and fixing the problem myself.
I'm glad I chose the first choice, because I most likely would have caused more damage to the TV. I also doubt we would be as close to each other, if we were on the couch.
The feeling of my phone vibrating, causes Asami to lift her head off my shoulder.
"I'm sorry." She says, quickly.
"You're good. I just need to get my phone from my pocket, then my shoulder is all yours."
After successfully grabbing my phone, I notice it's a message from my mother.
MOM: Pumpkin, I just wanted to tell you I love you.
I can't even be annoyed, because it's just my mother, being a mother.
I send a quick I love you too, then slide my phone back into my pant's pocket.
"Is everything okay?" Asami asks, returning her head back to her original position.
"Yep, it's just my mom letting me know I'm her favorite daughter in the world."
"You must feel quite special."
"I don't mean to brag, but… She's not wrong about the title she has given me."
"It sounds like you're bragging, though? Which one is it?"
"Leave me alone, and continue watching the movie!"
"What if I don't want to watch the movie anymore?"
I maneuver my hand onto the mousepad, and see we have 45 minutes left until the movie is over.
"Trust me, you want to finish this movie." I reply.
As I return my attention back onto the screen, I feel her glaze still on me.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"I found something more interesting to look at. What's wrong? Do you disagree with my new interest?"
I quickly grab my phone, open the feature I want, then hand Asami my phone so she can see her face on the front camera.
"I think you're way better to look at."
"Aww. Even with my double chin? You're too kind."
We both stare at each other, then burst into laughter.
"Why do we have to be so cringing?" She asks.
"I don't know. But If I saw anyone act the way we act, I would be sick to my stomach." I tease.
"Then we should make sure no one sees these pictures."
"What pictures?" I ask.
Instead of getting a response for my question, she proceeds to snap photos of us, which we start posing for.
Photos of us, that quickly fill up my photo gallery. I don't mind it, because I hardly take selfies. So I know I have the storage for them. As the images increase, the closer we become. Close enough to the point, I'm able to connect our lips together, for the snapshot.
Even though it was a harmless kiss for the aesthetics, I felt a spark. A spark, I wasn't able to feel back at the studio when she kissed me the first time.
Before I could apologize for my reckless action, she closes her laptop, places it onto the nearby nightstand, then clasps her hand onto my face pulling me into a kiss. It takes me a few seconds to process what's happening, but once I do, I return the action.
The weight of her body on top of mine, causes me to readjust my position. The action of running my hand through her raven locks trying to steady us, causes a moan to be release. Even though I didn't make the sound, the feeling I get from hearing it, catches me off guard.
It's so different, with her. Usually, I think about things. But right now, my mind is blank. If I'm thinking about anything, it's just the fact I'm enjoying every touch. I thought us watching a movie would be exciting. What we're doing right now, has me corrected.
The feeling of her hand sliding up my shirt, and resting onto my right lower quadrant, pulls my mind into a mental debate. A debate on whether or not I should stop this.
My internal fight doesn't last long, because I remember we're just kissing and nothing more. But it feels like something more. And judging from my heart/pulse rate, it most certainly is.
The sound of my phone going off again, is an instant reminder to put my phone on silent mode whenever I'm out. Because it kills the mood.
"It's your mom. Do you want to pick it up?" She asks.
I don't know why she asked me that question. By the way she's so invested in me, I doubt she would had given me the opportunity to answer, if my response happened to be yes.
"Just let it ring, she usually ends the call after four rings." I reply, taking advantage of the air I'm given just to reply.
And just like the incoming call, my break was short lived once she pulls me back into her death trap of a make out session.
How can anyone handle all of this? Luckily, I have a lot of stamina thanks to my past profession. But sadly, I feel sorry for whomever had to deal with all of this before me.
Her previous rested hand, starts traveling upwards, making my body tense up.
"Relax."
How? She's making it sound like a simple thing I can do! I can't just tell my body to take a chill pill when it's going through all of this!
I try to relax more into the kiss, hopeful I can take control over this rainbow road of a pace we're going, soon.
The benefits of being on top.
1. I can breathe.
2. We can slow down for awhile.
3. I can breathe!
Now that I made a mental list, I plan to cash in on all of my benefits.
Still not pulling away from her, I wrap my arm around her waist.
This motion is key, if I want to achieve the dominate position. A position she's currently holding, and doesn't seem to be showing any signs of changing it.
Well ... until I make my move, that is.
Just when I'm about to make the switch, the hand I was talking about earlier, comes a little too high and suddenly grip the side of my chest.
"Asami!"
"I know." She hums, moving her lips onto my neck, prompting me to pull away from her.
That definitely wasn't kissing!
"Am I hurting you?" She asks.
I'm still trying to process everything, so I can't even reply. All I can do is shake my head no.
And her look of confusion suddenly turns into horror.
Asami
It takes me awhile to understand why she pulled away. But once I do, I'm mortified by my actions.
I totally forgot!
Fuck! How did I forget?
I'm not just kicking myself for not taking things slow, but also forgetting this important information.
'She wants to save herself for marriage!'
It's one of the very first things she told me!
I'm not using this as an excuse but... we were just so close.
She kissed me, then I kissed her with a little more force, then she returned it, then she ran her fingers through my hair, and held onto my hips with such firmness. Everything just felt so right, and I wasn't thinking.
Which was absolutely wrong on my part, because I disrespected her boundaries.
My actions were no different than, kissing her the first time.
What's wrong with me? Did I not learn from my past?
If she wants to run out, she has every right to do so. I turned her first kiss into some Rocky Horror scene.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.
Now I know how the lead singer from The Killers feel.
"I'm so sorry, Korra. Trust me, I didn't forget. Well, I did. But I didn't mean to."
The woman I practically betrayed, smiles.
I don't know if her gesture was forced or not. Either way, I just want her to talk to me.
"Everything just happened so fast, it's okay." She finally says.
"No, it's not okay. I should have known."
"Seriously, it's alright. I'm actually glad this happened. It opens up a conversation I been wanting to have with you."
"Most definitely!" I agree, even though I have no idea what she's talking about or what I'm agreeing to. I'm just relieved she's talking to me!
"Everything is so different with you. I know it's inappropriate to compare some aspects from my past relationship with you, but I can't help it."
I nod, understanding.
I'm not offended she's making some comparisons. I think it's perfectly normal to do so. We all do it!
Not just with partners, but teachers, doctors, and even with friends.
"Different in a bad way?" I ask, curious.
"No. But if these feelings continue, I think it might be." She teases, but I don't understand the joke.
"The reason I didn't want to tell you about these feelings, was because I'm embarrassed. And I didn't want you to think I was a goody two shoes. Also, I know you go out of your way trying to make me comfortable. But I don't want you worried about me."
"What do you mean? The only time I wasn't as worried about you, was when I nearly copped a feel on you."
Did I say nearly? I practically did. I wish she would continue talking, so I don't have to remember such a shameful moment.
"You won't have to worry once we talk about this."
"Okay. Let's talk." I reply, trying to imagine my left hand touching a cactus, just to suppress the recent feeling I just experienced.
"The thing different about you and Mako is…"
"He's a male." I finish.
"Well yes…. but I think that's obvious."
"I'm sorry, please continue."
"The thing about Mako is, he never made me feel the way you make me feel…physically."
*Glass shatters*
Wow! Talk about an ego boost.
"Mako and I haven't done anything more than spooning and kissing."
"So this feeling is new to you." I add.
"NO! Can you let me talk? This is the second time you interrupted me! This is hard enough!"
The sound of her frustrations is hard on me too! Wait? Did she really just raise her voice at me? It was actually kind of hot…XD
Focus, Asami. This is serious!
"I'm sorry, Asami, I didn't mean to yell."
"It's alright. You're welcome to yell at me anytime you want."
She laughs.
"Thank you for the offer, but I'll pass."
After a moment, she begins again.
"The fact him and I haven't done anything is a big factor when it comes to my dilemma. There has been moments in my life where I felt such 'feeling'. But they were never as strong compared to now. I don't want to say strong, as if I'm some teenager. It's just…they're more noticeable, and we're not even doing anything!"
She's talking about how I make her feel? Pssh. It would take a whole novel just to describe how she makes me feel. Like she said, we haven't even done anything. Yet, I already feel like I'm going to have a long night ahead of me.
The look of guilt on her face, starts to make me feel guilty. Not just from my actions, but curious if her conservative lifestyle influenced this feeling of remorse . She shouldn't have to feel guilty for a natural feeling we all experience. The poor thing even uses the word 'feelings' in place for the word horny.
"I don't think you're a prude or anything like that. And I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I just care about you to the point, I want to protect you. These 'feelings' you're telling me about, are nothing. You can take my earlier action for example."
"What action?" She ask, genuinely curious.
Ugh. Why did she have to ask that?
"Um. When I ran my hand under your shirt and.."
"Oh! I understand."
"I know, but I should still explain."
Yeah, Asami. Explain.
"My own personal desires, influenced such a bold action. Which I may remind you, won't happen again. So.. what you're going through, is still, what I'm going through. "
"Still, as in, right now?"
"No, Silly. I can control myself." I reply, crossing my legs to give her some more space on this queen sized bed.
"Cool, because I wasn't sure. Especially after you made that sound when I touched your hair. And please don't feel guilty about what you did. I had a feeling that's where things were heading. I was actually planning to take the top position as a precaution. I was also contemplating grappling moves to do so. Minus the risk of course. The last thing we need is someone getting hurt. But I doubt you would have anything to worry about, you're always in good hands with me. I had everything all mapped out. Let me show you."
Please don't show me. I don't think my body can handle it.
I watch as her shirt rides up as she raises her body with one hand, flipping herself over with ease/grace onto the pillow beside her.
I was close to that. I had a mere taste of that. Now the pillow is taking my spot.
" Martial arts really is apart of everything we do." She replies, returning to her upward position.
"Are you okay? You keep shifting your position and squirming."
I quickly stop moving, and force a smile.
"My feet is just asleep." I reply.
Why is she torturing me?
At least I know what's been bothering her these past few days. Who would have thought?
" I just want to tell you. I admire how committed you're waiting. It's a personal choice and I respect it."
"I know! That's the thing I wanted to talk to you about. I'm now debating whether or not I still want to wait."
*Glass shatters again*
"Before you say anything. It's not like my hormones are off the charts, that I can't continue waiting. I actually been thinking about this for quite awhile, way before we even reconnected. "
"OH."
I know that wasn't the best response, but I'm literally at a lost with words.
She reaches across the bed and grabs my hand.
"Until I figure out what I want, can we continue taking things slow?"
"Absolutely, Korra. Whatever you decide, I'm going to respect it. Even if you never give me an answer, I'll still respect you. There is way more things I'll like to do with you, other than sex."
Can I say that word? Can I say sex? I just said it! Now I'm thinking about it. Somebody help me!
"Thank you, I appreciate it. Before I make such decision, I have to know if I can trust you."
I look directly into her eyes.
"You most certainly can! I'm like a superhero with trust. I throw trust out like it's confetti during the Macy's Thanksgiving parade."
She laughs, but I'm serious. I can't afford to lose her trust again.
"That does sound convincing, but I'm thinking about another title that could seal the deal."
"And what's that?"
"The title of being my girlfriend?"
*Fireworks*
This whole time I thought I was going to be shunned for my actions. It turns out, it's like I'm being rewarded.
A kiss, an intimate conversation, and being asked to be her girlfriend. What have I done to deserve such gifts? Maybe I should help out with the church more often! Okay…maybe I should slow my roll with that.
"Yes! I mean…I can be that." I add, nonchalantly.
"Really?"
"Yes!" I reply, knocking her onto her back with my kisses.
"You know? Oxygen is important, right? " She says.
What is she talking about? I give her more than enough time to take her 1 second breath.
"And you know... you can always have a test trial to see if you want to wait or not." I tease back, pulling the covers over us.
"Shut up! We still have the movie to watch. "
"Why watch a movie, when we can mak.."
"Stop!"
Let me leave my girlfriend alone lol.
Author's Note
And I'm Back!
Thank you so much for the birthday love :) I had fun writing this chapter, hope you enjoyed it. Working on Political Scapegoats too, so stay tuned!
Thoughts are appreciated.