Korra
It's around 2pm and I'm walking down the streets of New York City, like I'm on a mission. There is truly no rush, heading to my destination, but that doesn't stop my feet from taking long strides. The weather is decent enough, that I don't mind making the long walk to Asami's apartment. She doesn't know I'm on my way. Yet, I feel like she's waiting for me. Given the duration of my reply, she has been waiting.
But I'm ready. I'm ready to give her my answer.
(Flashback)
I ring the doorbell, anxious.
I don't usually visit during the night like this, especially without a heads up. But, my mind has been so busy, nothing seemed to put it at ease. I thought a jog around Central Park would help, but it didn't. Maybe my lack of headphones interfered with the healing process though? Because ever since I watched YOU with Asami, I'm kinda on the fence with jogging unaware. But that's not the point.
I'm here to talk to someone, who's not my girlfriend.
Am I wrong for doing this? Not solely the whole showing up unannounced thing, but not talking to Asami about this? It's just a lot to get through, and I don't want to speak freely and say the wrong thing. That's why I'm seeking a different ear.
After waiting for a few seconds, the door finally opens, and I'm met with Pema's lovely smile and Rohan in her arms. "Korra! What a lovely surprise. Is Tenzin expecting you?" She asks.
I hug my body, a bit embarrassed and also chilly.
"No. I was just in the neighborhood."
"Ah. You must have came back from Central Park. Did you have a good run?" She asks, still standing in the doorway.
"Sort of. I've a lot on my mind and thought running would help... It didn't seem like the best solution. Is now a good time to talk? I understand if I'm interrupting, or this isn't the best tim..." Before I could finish, I'm pulled inside with her unoccupied hand.
"Nonsense. Any time is perfect for you. We just finished dinner. We had spaghetti, would you like some?" Pema asks.
"No thank you, I'm not really hungry."
As I take off my shoes and put them alongside the kids', I see Jinora in the living room doing homework. She has headphones on, and her eyes are too glued to her textbook to notice me. So I keep following Pema throughout the house.
"Has Rohan learned anymore new words?" I ask, messing with his hair.
"He still hardly talks, but he does say 'Baby Shark' now ."
After his mother says those magic words, Rohan starts bouncing in her arms, making us both laugh.
"Let me put him in the play area. Tenzin took the kids out for ice cream, so you can wait for me up in my room. "
"Aw. You didn't want to go?" I ask.
"Of course not! He took two of our most rowdiest children off my hands, this break is a treat." She says,before squeezing my shoulder then walking off.
Knowing exactly where to go, due to babysitting here in the past. I head into the navy blue painted room, and sit on the edge of the bed.
With this alone time, I start to sort through my thoughts.
Am I making this bigger than what it is? What exactly am I afraid of? Is it more of a commitment issue or a me issue? Does Asami think I'm afraid of moving in with her? Is she waiting on my reply?
It doesn't take long for Pema to enter the room, and once she does, she shuts the door behind her.
"What's up, Girl. I haven't seen you since your birthday party."
I laugh to myself, thinking of such a great day. And I mean all of it was great! Even the whole spending the night on Asami's bathroom floor, three nights in a row part.
"Yes, the party was memorable." I reply.
"It was! I got to speak with your mother before she left, she's looking great. Was curious on the whereabouts of your father, but she told me he was busy."
I sigh, knowing I'll have to explain the background of my mother's attendance being more awkward than it should be.
"My father wasn't there, because my mom came to the city alone. She wanted to makeup from a fight we had. About me dating Asami. You know how traditional they're."
Pema frowns, and reaches for my hand. " Yes, I'm aware. I'm sorry, Korra."
" It's fine. My mom is gradually accepting it. She's trying, and that's all that matters. I haven't told my father yet, but I think I'll save that for another date. There is something I need to get off my chest first though."
"Well, I'm all ears. This is a safe place, unless you enter Meelo's room. That's at your own risk." She teases, making me feel much more relaxed.
"Asami sort of asked me to move in with her." I say, alarmed. Which wasn't my intentions.
"You two have been dating for almost a year, and she just asked now? Wow! She's late. You know what they say about lesbians moving in after the second date. What was the hold up, can't drive a U-Haul?"
I look at her confused, and her smile quickly drops. "I'm sorry. It was a joke. My bad. Continue."
Getting back on the topic, I begin to explain what my mind looks like to her.
"I know she was just making a suggestion, and I didn't feel pressured when she asked. But It feels like there is pressure now. Not with the whole moving in thing, but to give a reply. For example, if I say no. She might think I never want to live with her. And that's not true. But I don't know if I'm ready to live with her now. But what if I am? I love her, I really do. I think we're great together. I enjoy spending every chance with her. If we live together, we'll be closer. But, what if we move in together and lose our excitement of seeing/being with each other? What if she get's tired of me, or worse, I get tired of her? It sounds so much worse hearing me say this out loud, but this is what my mind is thinking about. What if moving in together does more damage than good?"
After I voiced my concerns, I cover my face with my hands.
I'm a terrible person, for thinking like this.
Pema rubs my back, as I try to relax. "It's okay, Korra."
"No! It's not! It has been weeks since Asami asked me, and I haven't given her a reply yet."
"Has she been acting different? Do you think she's waiting for a response?" She asks.
"I don't know? When we're together, she's normal. As if, she never really asked. I carry on like she didn't either. But I don't want us to be 45 and we go to the Bahamas. Then we get a sketch of us taken, and the artist asks where we would like the image to be sent. Then Asami says, "Either one of our homes would do. We live separately, despite being together for decades." I love my girlfriend, but sometimes she makes honest replies sound bad. Like? Does the address not matter, or are you holding a grudge?"
Pema giggles, and I don't know why she finds all of this funny. I hardly ever have a dilemma. Me coming here, clearly shows this is serious. Why is she laughing and making jokes I don't understand?
"What's so funny?" I ask.
"You! I get it, moving in together is a big step. All your fears are 100% normal, and something every couple thinks about. But, you've to breathe. "
"How old were you, when Tenzin and you moved in together?" I ask.
She groans while tilting her head back.
"Ugh. Far too young in my opinion. The place we lived at first wasn't the best too. Tenzin was just starting out as a fighter. But I was head over heels in love with him, and the fact he fought his way to make a better life for us, made it worth it. You and Asami are more than financially stable to take whatever route you want. So, take that as a positive. What I'm trying to say is, do you believe in Asami's and your love enough to fight for a better life, even if your uncertainties become true?"
"Absolutely!"
She looks at me, suspiciously, but I'm serious.
"I don't know. It sounds like this fight is too big for you, and that's not the Korra I know. The Korra I know, sees herself going to the Bahamas at 45 with the love of her life. Which, sounds like more of a commitment than moving in together. Seeing yourself in love with someone for that long, I mean. Now. Does that sound like someone who gets tired of the person they love?"
"No, It doesn't." I say, now feeling a bit guilty.
"It's a big step, Korra. And it's one you've to decide on. I know Asami loves you very much, and I know she rather just have you in her life, regardless of the living conditions. You don't have to share a house, to be at home. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah. I get where you're coming from."
She gives me a warm smile, and pulls me into a hug.
"Just give it some more thought, I'll support you in whatever decision you make."
(End of Flashback.)
If it wasn't for Pema's listening ear and my thoughts, who knows how long I would've taken to respond. I've had plenty of time to think this through, and I'm positive in my decision.
Now thinking about it, maybe I shouldn't have freaked out as much as I did.
Train, rest, fight, repeat! My life has always been so simple and planned out. Now that I've so much free time, maybe I'm just overwhelmed with changes like this?
A great take away from this, is change doesn't have to be a bad thing, and I hope Asami hasn't changed her mind.
I want this.
Asami
It's my first personal day in awhile. which means, If I want to start my day off at 2:30 in the afternoon I can. That being said, I'm loving every moment of it. Had a great lunch/breakfast. Bagel bites and some wine, the greatest pairing since...Idk? Sketchers commercials and Demi Lovato? Nostalgic and problematic.
Alexa is blasting Maroon 5. What song you ask? It doesn't really matter because every track is a bop. Now, I'm jamming in the bathroom as I play with my makeup. I'm living my best life right now, and that's not the wine talking.
As I listen to the beautiful man serenade me, I look at my reflection.
Just standing in my bra and leggings, I look at such a blank canvas. Wondering if I would look cooler with tattoos?
Curious on the thought, I open my drawer and pullout my mascara.
I quickly start drawing on as much bare skin, I can reach. The locations are tasteful though, I'm not trying to be on NY Ink. But if I was…I would be pretty bad ass.
With this new thought, I start flexing in the mirror.
I look so cool right now. No! I am Cool!
As I add more tattoos, another bop plays on to shuffle. The song choice inspires me to place a little heart with the initials A+ K onto my upper arm.
"This love has taken its toll on me. She said goodbye too many times befo.. " My song and singing are suddenly cut off, and I internally groan while temporarily closing up shop.
Ugh. Alexa, you cost way too much to be glitching.
When I step out of my bathroom, I'm faced with my girlfriend standing near my gadget amused.
"I came here to see my girlfriend, not Adam Levine at the SuperBowl." She says, motioning to my tatted body.
Come on Asami, you're heavily tatted. Embrace this look, and intimidate your very fit girlfriend who's muscles look more tougher than your ink. It's all about confidence, not the product.
"Why are you standing like that?" Korra asks, while I stick out my chest, with my head held high.
No longer being able to breathe, due to trying to look bigger.I humbly turn around, as if my pride wasn't scattered in under 5 seconds.
"I'm going to wash up... I just woke up."
"Hahaha. Did you need a wake up call?"
Har-Har.
With the tattoos off and my ego somewhat back, I reenter the living room to find Korra sitting on the couch looking through her phone. "Is she cute?" I tease, getting her to roll her eyes and place her phone upright onto the coffee table.
Ooooh. My girl is loyal.
"No one is as cute as my little tattoo queen. It seems like your personal day is going well." She says, with that still loving smile of her's.
"I'm going to have to switch locks, now that I know you've a key. But seeing you is always a treat." I reply, joining her side.
"I'm glad to hear that, because I don't want to surprise you when I come through your door anymore."
She starts fidgeting with her hands, which mean's she's about to address or bring up something.
"Are you okay?"
She turns her body so she's facing me, and grabs a hold of my hand. "Yes, I'm okay. I've just been thinking about what you asked me a few weeks back, and I've my answer."
I look at her confused, because I don't know what she's talking about. Hell, I don't even remember what I had for breakfast two days ago, and I usually eat the same things. The fact she said a few weeks back, puts me into a bigger confusion bubble.
But she has that smile upon her face, which makes me match it automatically.
"Oh really? And what did I ask?" I say, mischievously, but I honestly have no idea what I said.
Fake it till you make it.
She rolls her eyes and blushes. "You know? What you asked 5 weeks ago. You forgot, didn't you?"
5 weeks!? That's like a year in my memory. Did I unplug my curling iron on that day 5 weeks ago?
"No! I do, we just have so many memories. It's just too much to single out."
She gives me that 'unimpressed look' and I give in.
"Fine! I don't remember, but can you give me a hint?"
"It was when I stopped by your studio."
(Flashback)
I'm sitting at my desk, working on this project that I got the other night. I'm not sure what exactly I want from this piece. But it has been driving me nuts, so I'm using the remainder of the time I've left in this class to work it out.
My students are all invested in their own art. Occasionally, I'll get asked if I saw something a student was trying to display in their creation, but other than that, it has been a slow day.
As I click through the many tools on this program, my door swings open. My girlfriend walks in and I quickly get excited. We've been dating for many months, but I still get butterflies whenever I see her. The fact, I wasn't expecting her just increases it.
She mouths a "One second" to me, and heads over to Jinora. Chatting a little, then sliding her a pack of candy before heading towards me.
I try to look invested in my work, so she can see I'm a hard worker. Which I am, clearly. But I want her to know. Don't judge me!
"I've something hot for my hottie." She says while waving the bag of Hot Cheetos in front of me.
"Aww. You're such a sweetheart. Class doesn't in until a while though."
"I know! I'm here to pick up Jinora when it ends." She replies, which gets me to frown. "And I thought you just wanted to see your girlfriend. I should've known there was another girl." I tease, while snatching the bag away from her.
She pulls herself a rolling chair, and sits beside me.
My artwork is a bookshelf with empty slots in them. The missing books are scattered all over the room, and it's a true mess. But I want you to find so many answers in this image.
"You're an amazing artist." Her random statement, gets me to smile.
"You've to say that, you're my girlfriend."
"That's entirely not true!" She defends.
"Well, if that's how you truly feel. I think you're an amazing fighter."
" You're just saying that because you're my girlfriend." She shout, getting a few students to laugh. I forget people are around us, whenever I'm with her. I know it's dorky, but it's true.
"Shhh. You're disturbing my students." I reply, trying to hide my blush.
"Maybe if you ended the class a little early, I wouldn't have to."
I pick up my inkpen, and add a little more shading onto the bookshelf.
I need this image to look more 'cluttery'. Is that a word? It will be today.
"What's this masterpiece called? 'I need to clean my house?'" She teases.
"No! I haven't given it a name yet, I like to title my work after it's done. Besides. Our home is going to look like this, so you better get used to it." I tease.
"Not even. I like to treat things like how I treat you, special. Not like a wreck."
Pfft. You can wreck me any day.
Wait!? Did I hear that correctly? Did she say 'Our home' as in. She can see us living together? With a bookshelf too!?
It has been just over a month, since I talked to the others about such decision. If I remember correctly, I think they were conflicted about my choice. If that's true, I'm glad they were. Because the hangover I had the following three days, still haunts me.
After that, every time I tried to bring up the topic of moving in together, I bail on it. But if I really thought about it, there is no reason to be so fearful of the topic. We're becoming more comfortable each day!
Not to brag or anything, but.. Korra bought me my vary own vanity for whenever I'm staying over her house. So, If I ever needed to do my makeup before work, I'm set.
I know this might not sound like nothing to some, but it helps my conclusion that Korra's ready. Because, I already have my own vanity at my place. Which means, she doesn't want me to get ready at my place. She wants me to get ready with her! And her words today just proves it even more. Maybe she has been dropping clues all along?
Maybe these Cheetos she brought me, symbolizes how she'll buy groceries for our home too?
I need to stop pushing this off. If our relationship made it this far, a simple question won't ruin anything. I'm going to ask right now! Yes, while she looks out into the distance in her own little world.
"Korra?"
My little clue dropper quickly places her attention onto me, then smiles.
"Yes, Beautiful?"
Aww. She's so adorable. Focus, Asami!
"Darling, can I ask you something?"
"Anything, what's up?"
Okay, you got this!
"I've been really enjoying your company these past few months. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you might enjoy mine too?"
"Um? We're dating. I think I love your company." She replies, confused.
Great! She's bringing up love. Love is the thing that brings people together. Love is what stops wars, and also starts them...? No! Stay on task!
"I love your company too! That's why I wanted to bring up the thought of us moving in together? I mean like? Staying under one roof together?"
With the question out, I try to read her face, but it's blank. Not horror filled like I thought, but def not excited like I thought too. It's just there! Blinking back at me.
As I wait for her to show any sign she's alive, I start to regret my wording.
Was it too forced? It's not like I wanted her to move in now. I wanted it to be like an open thing, not an 'insert answer' right now thing.
For my personal comfort, I place my hand onto her knee.
"Korra talk to me. What do you think? I didn't mean it like we had to move in together tomorrow or something. It's just a thought. Maybe it was a silly one. Actually. It was a stupid one. You're comfortable, I'm comfortable. Why ruin that?" I ramble off.
"You think moving in with me would be horrible?" She asks, which makes me panic even more.
"No! I would love to move in with you."
"So, you want us to move in together?" She asks, confused now.
Gosh! Why did I choose to have this discussion while I'm at work? My students are probably being nosy af right now. I know they aren't staring in our direction, but they have ears. If I heard my teacher and her boo thang, having a discussion about living together, and one of them was doing a terrible job conveying her wants, I would be paying attention too.
I drop my head allowing my hair to hide my stupid little face.
The feeling of two palms, raising my head up so I can face the beholder, catches my glaze. Her sympathetic smile, is just too overwhelming to acknowledge. But there is nothing I can do about that, I'm here. I put myself here.
"How long have you had this thought?" She asks.
"Not too long." I reply, somewhat honest.
"It all makes sense now. The constant trips to Ikea, statements about how a painting would look nice in my living room, getting offended when I dislike a junky library." She says, getting me to smile again.
I'm about to reply, but she stops me with just one tilt of the head.
" I'll be honest, I thought it was just the artist in you. Always wanting to decorate something or make something better. You could've saved yourself the suffering if you would've just brought up the discussion."
"I like to make sure we're both ready first, but I don't know how you feel about it. Do you ever think about it? Living together?" I ask.
This time she lets go of me, and uses her feet to spin herself around in her chair. "Honestly? Not at all. I'm quite surprised by all of this, but I can understand why you brought it up."
She's surprised! Great! I am crazy.
"It's a no, it's okay. It's too soon, that's understandable." I state, completely done with the subject.
She pulls my arm so my chair rolls into her's, and if I wasn't the owner of this fine establishment, I would call HR on my damn self.
"I never said it was a no. What is it with you? How are you going to magically plan us living together in your head, then foreclose us? Where is my say? Where is my signature on the lease?" She teases.
"But you said you never thought about it. And it's unfair to throw you into something, when you didn't give it an equal amount of thought as me."
" Sami. No offense, but your equal and mine, aren't the same. And I never thought about us moving in together, because when we're together, I'm satisfied with just that. Us just chilling at your desk, feels like home already. I can just walk into this place, and feel like I own it. I feel this way whenever I'm with you. Most days, I really think we could take over the world or something. Don't you feel that way? "
"Aww." A couple of students say in the background, which gets me to glare at them playfully.
Yes, I feel such way. But I'm extremely selfish and want to feel such a way all the time. But she'll do anything for me, that's why It's important she thinks this through for herself. If she's not ready for such a big step, she's entitled to that. I'll respect it. I just wanted to know if she at least pictured the idea, despite my poor way of wording.
"Korra, Love. How do you feel about it? Just the idea of living together, no other factors."
"I think being there when you wake up all the time, would be a gift. But I'm also trying to picture which apartment we might live in. Your's or mine? And to be honest, I don't like how small your doggie park is. Also, you think my stairway is creepy."
"I do not!" I state, and she quickly calls my bluff.
"You said you saw blood drip from the ceiling once."
I did! You just wait. Give it 10 years, and that very apartment complex will be on Dateline.
Just when she's about to speak, the alarm goes off indicating class is over.
Everyone quickly collects their stuff, then make their way out the door. Jinora slides her sketchbook into her backpack, so I know this conversation will have to be revisited.
"Just think about it Korra, no rush." I state, while saving my own project.
I'm happy with whatever decision she makes, it just has to be her's
(End of Flashback)
After I remember such moment in history, my eyes enlarge. "You've your answer on moving in or not?" I ask, shocked.
" Yes! And my answer is Yes too!"
When I hear that, I quickly pull her into a hug, that sends us crashing to the floor.
"This is great! I mean. Are you sure? Because I would love to live with you, but I rather it be when you're comfortable. I rather have you than a house, Korra."
"Yes, I'm sure. And I feel the same way. I don't care where we live, I just want you there. That's why I think we could explore the options of looking for a brand new place. A place that could fit both our needs and wants. What do you say?"
This whole new idea causes my creative brain to go into power mode. There are so many areas to choose from too! Not to mention the whole interior design side. Ikea will be my best friend. This is great!
"Asami! What do you say? You're sort of freaking me out with that smile."
I laugh and pull her into a kiss.
"I say yes!"
Author Note
Wow, It's been a year since I updated this.
Thoughts are appreciated.