He groaned; it hurt. It still hurt everywhere, and he was doing his best to not let that be known. While he was looking forward to today, ironically, and looking forward to having his kids for a week, he was in so much pain. Broken ribs shouldn't hurt this much and for this long, right? He kept telling himself, but his ribs were another story. He finished walking up to her door and rang the bell, taking a look at the yard as he did. It felt strange to see a for sale sign in the yard, but he knew moving was a good thing for her. Maybe today they'd have time to discuss how things were going on the moving front.
The door opened, and he tried to stand up straight, the pain still hard to do so. "Hi," she said with warm eyes, those eyes darting around, looking him up and down. They widened at his expression, and she moved toward him quickly. "Andy, you're still in so much pain. Come inside," she said, her one hand gingerly lingering right at his ribs, as if she wanted to touch him but knew the pain would be too much.
"I'm okay," he tried to say, but it came out breathlessly, and he rolled his eyes, knowing he wasn't fine.
"You're not, and I was worried today was going to be too much." She helped him inside, and once in the door, he raised his hands, "I'm okay, Sharon. Wow, you look beautiful. Just took my breath away," he tried to chuckle and smile at her. Sharon paused; her efforts had been put into getting him inside to sit. She crossed her arms almost as if she was embarrassed at the compliment. The two stood there in her living room.
"Thanks, you said lighter colors for the wedding, which makes sense for an afternoon wedding. I didn't want to stand out or be over the top. Is this okay?" Sharon gestured to her peach colored dress. It was knee length, and she'd worn it to church for Easter a couple of times. As much as she'd wanted to get something new, she hadn't. Attending Andy's ex-wife's wedding didn't say exciting day out, nor did justifying the expense of a new dress, but in its own way, it was, hopefully, going to be that, at least an exciting day out.
"Yeah, ahh," Andy said, raising one hand to pat down his hair, "perfect. Really," he made eye contact with her, "you look beautiful." He ran his hands down the side of his gray suit. He had worn a white shirt and a black tie with it, the tie looking formal, but he'd jokingly told Sharon once that it was also in a bit of protest. Sandra had once told him when they were married he should only wear a black tie to a funeral or formal evening event.
She blushed slightly, "You've said that, but it's just a dress. I'd wear it to work too if I wasn't worried about well, well," she gestured at Andy, "that look there from every guy in the department."
Andy chuckled again, the pain still slight. He put his hand on his side. It was getting easier to breathe and laugh, but not by much.
That comment left things a bit awkward. Andy glanced around, almost as if he was surprised at the stillness at the house. He gestured as he turned back to Sharon, "Where are the kids? I haven't seen them in some time."
"They are with a friend from church," Sharon told him. "She has kids too and is keeping them. Normally, I'd prefer they be here at home, but this couple from church, they have kids, a girl Emily's age. They have another girl, older than Ricky, but still," Sharon shrugged, "the kids will be fine there. I packed a huge back of their toys, snacks, and even a couple sets of outfits. Hopefully, Ricky will nap. We aren't going to be too late, are we? This family-they know I'm going to a wedding."
"No," Andy shook his head. "I don't think it will be that late. I mean, I've got my kids too, and I don't want them out too late. Dirtbag and Sandra are catching some flight late tonight to get their perfect life started, so no, it won't be late. So, you have a quiet moment here to catch your breath?"
"Yes," Sharon nodded. "I dropped them off an hour ago, so I've been able to take my time getting ready."
"Well, really, you look beautiful, stunning," Andy said, reaching to squeeze her hand. Their eyes locked. Sharon met his gaze, looked down, and when she looked up, Andy was still looking at her. Sharon raised her hand to his check and eye.
"That bruise, Andy," she sighed. "I'm sorry, but it looks awful still. Have your kids seen it?"
He shook his head, "Not yet. I know it's bad. I'm sure Sandra's family will think I was in some bar fight. It looks like I was punched, right? They will never believe I was actually at work."
"Andy," Sharon sighed, her hand still running over the bruise delicately. She looked him in the eye, "Come with me." Sharon reached for his hand and tugged him further into the house. He gave her an odd look, but he continued to follow her, his hand in hers. It felt good to hold her hand, even for the brief moments. Sharon led him toward a familiar room, a room that had one time been his. He still wasn't sure what she was doing, but it clicked as they stepped toward the bathroom.
"I have some concealer we can put on your face today," she explained, her hand still lightly holding his as she pulled him to the bathroom.
"Really, Sharon, it's okay. I'll just deal with it. I have before," he told her, stopping in the doorway when she dropped her hand from his to go to her sink area. He watched as she moved. It smelled like her in here, the scent of lavender maybe. He knew that scent from when he'd lived here, from when they'd slept together too. She didn't look back at him, didn't address his comment. She dug around, trying to find her makeup for him.
"Sure, they can see their dad look like a mess, and they'll worry even more when they realize it happened while he was at work as a police officer, or I could work my magic and cover it up so that it's not so bad. I know you've had a look like this before, Andy," she said, pulling out the makeup she wanted, "but," she looked to him and tilted her head, "let me help. You also haven't had me around to help."
"No," he said quietly, looking to the floor, the admission more than he wanted her to see with the expression on his face, you're right; I haven't had you around to help with this like I can now." His eyes looked up and met hers. She still had her head titled to the side. She looked at him and gave him a small shrug. "Okay," he nodded and walked toward her. She reached around for a stool she kept in the room to use. She had him sit and quickly went to work. Andy sat there, trying to just relax. It was hard with Sharon so close to him, working on his face. He could smell her perfume; he loved that smell. He still had feelings for her even if she'd called off anything more between them. What they'd had was fun, and he had realized after that he felt more for her than he cared to admit. It was all so messy. She had a mess. He had a mess. Timing was everything, and theirs had just not worked out.
"How is that?" Sharon asked, stepped to the side. She put her hand on his shoulder and looked toward the mirror. Andy looked too, shocked at the work she'd done.
"Wow, Sharon, I'm shocked," he tried to chuckle slightly and again clutched his rib. The pain was still so sharp. He couldn't wait for the day he started to feel better.
"It's not perfect by any means," she said, pursing her lips. They both looked at the mirror still. "I don't want it to look too puffy again. Your face is still healing."
"No, this is great. Thanks," he said, turning slightly to her. "I appreciate it, and hopefully, it won't scare the kids." Their eyes met in that brief moment. She ended up squeezing his shoulder.
"We should go, hmm?" Sharon made herself busy cleaning up her counter. Andy sat there a few more seconds until he finally stood and put her stool back. When they were both finished, they awkwardly stood there in the bathroom.
"Like what you've done with the place," he chuckled again, each time reminded of the pain. Sharon laughed a little and rolled her eyes.
"Just paint," she told him.
"Listen," he said, reaching for her hand. He clasped it loosely at their sides and looked down, "I hope you know how much I appreciate your going with me today. Thanks for having my back and keeping me in line. I know my kids like you too, so thanks ahead of time for being so great with them. I'm looking forward to my time with them this next week, but at the same time, I dread it because each day is one step closer to them moving."
"Just, just," Sharon paused to find her words. She tugged at his hand, and their eyes met again. She gave him a warm smile, "Just treasure each day for what it is. I constantly remind myself to do the same. You cannot predict the future. I have learned that with my dad and why I'm working to at least keep the peace with my mom. Just enjoy the day. Don't leave things unsaid."
Andy wanted to say more, especially after that comment, but he didn't. Instead, he nodded. She nodded, their eyes still locked. Finally, she nodded her head toward the door.
"Yeah, sure," Andy sighed, this time, his voice defeated, "let's go watch my ex change her life and take away my kids."
Hours later, it was dark, and the car was quiet. The kids had both fallen asleep, even with it only being 8:45. Sharon had spoken to her friend over an hour earlier, who had assured her that the kids were fine and were actually already asleep. The big play date had worn out all of the kids Sharon and Andy had planned to leave the reception earlier, but the kids were still having so much fun, and with Sharon's kids asleep, they'd decided to stay longer. Originally, she'd planned to go and pick up the kids after Andy dropped her off at home, but for tonight, apparently, they were okay. She wasn't sure Ricky would sleep that well, but she wasn't going to argue about a rare night to herself. He'd slept okay with her away at work, so this wasn't much different. She was promised a call if he got up, and she was already planning to pick up the kids at 7:30 in the morning. Both of her kids were on their first official sleepover with friends, something that felt odd to her, but she was grateful for the help. Sharon continued to stare into the dark sky. She turned when she felt his hand on her arm.
"Hey, thanks again," he said quietly. Sharon turned toward him, and as she did, she caught a glimpse of the kids sleeping. Nicole looked beautiful in a light purple dress. It really set off her hair, and she was a beautiful girl anyway. Nate had on a tie in the same color purple that he'd long ago discarded. Andy had joked he was glad Nate just made it through the ceremony wearing the tie. Sharon wasn't even sure where it currently was.
"You did such a good job with them today, Andy," Sharon said quietly, fully shifting in her seat to talk to him. She reached for and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad I could be there for you." The ceremony had been brief, just a quick exchange of vows and rings. Honestly, Sharon had been shocked at how brief it had been. The party afterward had been just that-a big party, full of alcohol. Sharon had been so glad she'd come with Andy after seeing all of that, not that she was worried about him falling off the wagon, but just with everything of the day, the last thing he needed was alcohol everywhere while he was alone. They hadn't had a lot of time to sit and talk. He'd really done a good job taking care of the kids and staying out of the way. Right now was honestly one of their first minutes alone since she'd put concealer on his face. The day had flown by. Sandra was remarried. Andy had the kids for a week, and then, they'd be off to their new home without him. Andy turned onto Sharon's street, still squeezing her hand.
"I'm not sure I would have kept it together today without you there. Really, I about went off a couple of times," he said, pulling up to her house.
Sharon hummed, "I have to say that you hid it well. I could tell you were getting agitated, but that's only because I know you."
Andy parked and turned to her, "You know me better than almost anyone now. I trust you, Sharon. Look, thanks. I don't know what else to say. Thanks doesn't even seem like enough. You've been through it, and I just don't know what to say."
"Maybe," she paused. She nodded, "You're welcome. Maybe that's enough, for both of us, I mean. Maybe just saying thanks is enough. I should let you go. Are you going to be okay getting them to your place?"
"These monkeys?" Andy smiled and winked at her. "They'll be fine. I promise not to carry either of them. My ribs can't take it."
Sharon opened her door, and as she did, Andy did the same. It just felt like the right thing to do, to get out and help her out. He moved as quickly as his ribs would allow over to her side of the car. It took Sharon by surprise.
"You didn't have to get out," she said quietly as she closed her door softly, trying not to bother the kids as they slept.
Andy stood by the car, both leaning against it. He shrugged, "You didn't have to come. I guess we are both just being kind."
Sharon nodded and looked to the ground. Andy touched her elbow to get her to look up, "You've been pretty quiet tonight, even for you, even with all this. I hope coming with me didn't bother you."
"No," she said quickly and quietly. "It's not that. I enjoyed the evening, I mean as much as one enjoys being the date to an ex-wife wedding." Sharon gave him a slight smile with that comment, and he grinned too.
Andy chuckled again, lightly touching his side as he did. Sharon nodded to him, "You call me if it gets worse. I'm worried about you."
"Well, I'm worried about you. Quiet-it's not your thing, at least not around me. We're pretty comfortable with each other, at least I thought," he told her with a slight frown.
Sharon nodded and bit her lip as she looked down. Finally, she spoke, "It's not you. It's my thoughts. Look, I wasn't going to bring this up, but being a good detective as you are, I suppose you do see that I'm off."
"What's wrong?" Andy finally asked after she didn't say anything for several moments.
Sharon looked up at him, fighting the tears, "This is so silly. I mean," she shook her head. "I can't believe I'm emotional." Andy gave her an odd look. She gestured in the air with her hand, "Back when, when," she paused and took a deep breath, "I did some calculations back, back-I mean, had I had the baby, it would have been due this week. I am desperately trying to move on, and I'm really trying hard, but I have been thinking of that all week. I'm sorry. I didn't want to burden you, and I hadn't planned on saying anything. I just wonder what if, you know? I still can't grasp what another child would have been like, but I try to imagine being excited and happy. At the same time, I tell myself alone with three kids wouldn't have been easy, and anyway. Couple that with the fact that I just celebrated Emily's birthday too," she let out her breath. "That's where my head has been. I'm sorry. The two would have had birthdays near each other, and I am going to be reminded of that each year. I'm sorry. I want to move on."
"Oh, Sharon," Andy said, his voice heartfelt as he reached for both hands and squeezed them, locking his eyes on her. "Moving on doesn't mean you forget. You're not crazy; those are very normal thoughts. You talking about a baby you would have had-we would have had," he corrected himself, "is not surprising. I am sorry that this all happened, that I've in a way, ruined your life for you. I've done that with a lot of people."
"You haven't ruined it," she said, letting out her breath as she looked up at him. "It's just one of those things, something that will always be a part of me, a part of you too. It's just a bit raw still, and like I said, just as I start to move on, I'm reminded again. I really didn't want to ruin your evening with this. I'm sorry I was a little out of sorts. I should have been a better friend."
"Are you kidding?" Andy said that louder than he'd anticipated, looked to the car, and was glad he hadn't disturbed the kids. They were still sleeping. He spoke softer, "Sharon, you haven't ruined my evening at all. It was great, thanks to you."
Sharon didn't say anything, but she just nodded, dropping her head to look away. The night had been very enjoyable for both, and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin it. She squeezed his hands and looked up at him.
"I'll let you go. Your kids need to get into their beds. I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet here for the night," she said.
"Ahh, yeah, okay," Andy nodded. He ran his hand through his hair after Sharon dropped his grip. She crossed her arms and gave him a small smile, "Thanks again for the nice evening. I can't wait to tell people I spent my weekend at an ex-spouse wedding with my date."
Andy chuckled again. He touched her elbow, "Look, just know that I'm here for you. I know we don't have time to stand here and hash through everything, Sharon, but I'd be an idiot if I didn't tell you that I want to take you on a date. I want another evening like this, I mean, sans the ex-wife. Maybe things got too messy before. Maybe we weren't ready, but I'm really trying. Thinking of my life all alone because I screwed up early on with drinking and an ex-wife," he shook his head. "Look, just maybe think about going out with a loser like me. You shouldn't be punished the rest of your life for Jack or decisions you made with me. Maybe we just need to try again, like really try, not just some quickie because we're too afraid to see what could be. Sorry, but you had a lot on your chest, and I have a lot on mine. So, there," he nodded. "No answer now, but at least think about it."
Sharon pursed her lips but said nothing. She looked at him; she looked at him and just nodded, their eyes locked. Finally, she looked down and cleared her throat. She looked back up at him with a small almost nervous shrug, "Thank you for that. I know you are busy this week. If you get a chance, why don't we talk more? Just call me, and we can talk."
"That's a start," he said with a small, still almost sad smile. "I'll do that."
Before she stepped away, Sharon leaned up and kissed Andy, the kiss slightly surprising, but welcome. She didn't linger, and as soon as the kiss was over, she gave him a small wave and started toward her front door. Their lives weren't simple, but maybe putting it out there was just what Andy needed to do. He was done punishing himself for the mistakes in life, and he wanted Sharon to stop doing the same. Andy wanted to be happy, and he had a feeling that deep down, Sharon did too. She just needed to hear that and needed a little encouragement. He couldn't predict if things would work out. Certainly, the chemistry was there, but she'd said before that she had to move on from him. Talking wasn't going to guarantee a future, but there was something about her he just couldn't get by; he truly liked her and hoped that with the mess they'd created, they could somehow dig through it. It was a lot, but he had to try. He'd thrown in the towel too much in the short life he'd lived, and for once, he wanted to fight, to try and be happy.
Andy turned and looked back in the car to his sleeping kids. They were his world, and in a short week, they'd move away. He knew kids moved away, moved on with their lives, but usually, parents had at least 18 years with them before that happened. He hadn't had that with his kids, but he wasn't about to give up on the kids or on life. He might not be able to stop the kids from leaving, but he was going to fight for his own life, the life he wanted not the mess he had been living.