"How long have you both been here?" Thea asked softly, her head tucked under Klaus' chin as they both shared the couch seat.
After a particularly potent set of puppy-dog eyes directed at Five by Thea, the boy had sighed and waved his hand toward them all, allowing them to enjoy a few minutes of catch-up before their conversation shifted into more serious territory.
"Hm?" Klaus hummed, his hands running through the ends of her ponytail. "Since February...'60, I think?"
Thea tensed momentarily at the reveal before letting herself relax again, taking comfort in the sensation of Klaus' hand brushing through her hair. Her scalp tingled at the touch and she smiled.
"What have you been doing all this time?" she asked.
This was what had been bothering her most during her time alone, wondering whether her brother – whom she loved dearly but knew subjectively was a mess without supervision – was doing fine without her.
She'd been comforted by the knowledge that he at least had Ben by his side, though without being able to tangibly interact with anything himself, it left a lot of opportunity for Klaus to run havoc.
Klaus' hand paused in stroking her hair and Thea pulled back a little to look up into his face. He opened his mouth before pausing again, letting it close like he'd changed his mind on whatever he was going to say.
His expression was too easy to read; the same one she recognised from when they were children and Thea had caught him stealing something of hers red-handed. She didn't think she was going to get an answer out of him until Ben chimed in, his tone darkly amused at her twin's expense.
"He started a cult."
"You what!?" Thea choked, her eyes wide and hands clutched onto Klaus' shoulders.
Her brother winced and shot a heated glare to the empty space behind them, presumably at Ben. She shook his shoulders to focus his attention back on herself and gave him a look that screamed 'explain'.
He at least had the decency to look sheepish, though Thea knew it was more for being outed so suddenly by Ben than any real regret for his actions.
"What the hell, Klaus? How is it you're left alone for a few years and you decide to not even join a cult, but start your own?"
Klaus laughed nervously, taking a generous sip from the glass in his hands to avoid answering her question and pointedly averting his eyes elsewhere. Thea sighed, suddenly feeling a decade older and like she was a disapproving mother at their child's parents evening.
"What about you?" Ben asked and Klaus' gaze flickered toward the empty space beside them.
Thea followed his direction and tried looking where she assumed he was standing. "Am I close?" she whispered with a crooked smile.
"Close enough," he answered back, just as softly. "So, when did you arrive?"
Thea bit her lip and answered honestly. "February 14th, 1963."
"Valentine's Day," he said and Thea could hear the fond smile in his voice.
She flushed a little, nodding her head in his direction. She didn't need to see herself to know her cheeks had dusted a soft pink and simply cursed her pale complexion for outing her so traitorously.
Ben's light laughter was worth it, however, and she felt the corners of her lips twitch into a genuine smile at the bell-like sound.
Their peaceful moment was interrupted when Klaus jolted forward, raising his glass in the air like he'd had a sudden revelation. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed and Thea blinked in surprise.
"What?"
"I'm older than you now!" he said with a smug grin, laughter in his voice.
Thea groaned, "We're twins, Klaus," she said with exhaustion.
How many times must we go over this same conversation?
"I've told you countless times, just because you came out first, doesn't make us any less twins. It doesn't count."
"Nuh-uh," he said smugly, leaning back in the chair with a satisfied smile on his face, looking down at her with mischief.
"Oh? Would you be inclined to explain why?" she drawled, eyeing his haughty expression.
Klaus took a drink of the whiskey in his glass and sighed as though enjoying the aftertaste. He even swirled the liquid within the glass like a true elite and Thea felt her eye twitch.
Forget enjoying the aftertaste, you're just enjoying my mounting impatience at your ridiculous theatrics. Petty bitch...I taught you well.
"You see, my dear sister. I have been here longer than you, adding about...three years onto my life. If you include my trip back the first time, too...well, then that makes me..." he stuck his tongue out as he did the mental math. "Thirty-four."
Thea blinked, surprised. Thirty-four, huh? If I added up my own time here...then that would make me thirty-one. I guess he does have a point...
"I'm now officially and irrefutably the older twin!" Klaus celebrated by downing the rest of his drink and slamming the glass on the coffee table.
"I didn't think you even knew a word as big as irrefutable," Ben said mockingly.
"Shut up," Klaus hissed back, glaring into thin air.
A sniffle cut off their bickering and Thea looked up at Klaus with glossy eyes.
"D-Does that mean... we aren't twins anymore?" she asked sadly, biting her lip.
From Klaus' point of view, it looked like his sweet sister was trying to hold back her tears at the mere thought of them no longer having such a connection. His eyes went wide and he waved his hands in front of him, trying to explain just why time-travel didn't actually count. Plus, he'd always been shit at maths, anyway, right?
"I mean, of course we're still twins! We were still born together..." he rambled, leaning forward to get a better view of her face.
Thea had lowered her head after her question and just as Klaus tipped her chin upwards for a clearer view, he paused at the mischievous grin spread across her face.
He was too late to realise that she'd been playing him dirty all along and yelped when suddenly, Thea wrapped her arms around his neck in a playful chokehold. She was grinning maniacally as Klaus struggle to escape her hold.
"Who's the older twin now, huh!?" she shouted in glee, ignoring the rest of their siblings who were suddenly watching them.
She laughed – or more like cackled – at her 'evil' plan working so successfully and rubbed her hand through Klaus' hair, messing it up and laughing at his indignant protests.
"Tell me I'm the older twin!" she demanded. "No! Tell me I'm the better twin! I'm the boss! Hahahaha..."
It seemed like she'd finally lost it as she continued cackling away like a Disney villain while Klaus choked in her grip, the sight of her tiny frame so easily dominating her brother bordering on comical.
"Thea...psy-cho..." Klaus hissed out as he tried slapping her away.
The sound of Ben's chuckles only fuelled her on further.
At this point, Allison and Luther had gone back to their conversation, ignoring their antics upon realising that the twins' behaviour was something they were all too used to.
Diego looked asleep; his eyes closed and arms crossed. Though there was a furrow to his brow that belied his annoyance and he seemed to be attempting to astral project himself to anywhere but here.
Vanya was simply watching on, wide-eyed.
Five was stood directly opposite Thea and Klaus, his face truly exasperated. "This family is a fucking nightmare," he muttered under his breath.
"And I love it!" Thea cheered, finally releasing Klaus from the chokehold as she raised her hands in the air to celebrate.
Five looked one step away from disowning them all.
"Right, now that you've all had sufficient time to catch-up, shall we move onto what matters?" he said with a sigh, narrowing his eyes when Thea opened her mouth. "That question was purely rhetorical."
The siblings all quietened down and Thea shifted to sit more comfortably on Klaus' lap, her legs thrown over one side of the chair.
"First of all, I want to say I'm sorry," Five said with a pinched expression. "I know I really screwed the pooch on the whole travelling-back-in-time and getting-stuck thing." The concession looked like it hurt so they all knew he was being honest with his feelings.
"But the real kicker here is that we brought the end of the world back with us."
"Oh my god, again?" Klaus asked and Thea hummed in reply.
"I told you. The Hargreeves family naturally equates to bad luck." She sighed. "Our karma must be fucked...maybe we did something horrible in our past lives..." she mused, only half-jokingly.
Klaus wasn't listening however and was staring at the rest of their siblings with a wounded expression.
"You all knew?" he said in disbelief. "Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the worl-" he paused before his eyes widened and he leant forward as much as possible with Thea still on his lap.
"Five!" he accused. "My cult is going to be so pissed! I said we had until 2019 until the world ended!" he whined, petulantly.
"Probably better suffering the apocalypse than with you as their leader," Ben muttered and Thea snorted, hastily covering it up when the rest looked her way.
She waved away their looks, still giggling.
"We have until Monday," Five said seriously, ignoring Klaus' dramatics. "We have six days."
"Is it Vanya?" Klaus muttered but yelped when Thea swatted him atop the head.
"Klaus!" Allison reprimanded and he rubbed his head with a frown, looking back between his two sisters with raised brows.
"What? It's usually Vanya!" he tried explaining.
"Yeah, well this time it isn't," Thea stressed.
Vanya's face looked a little pale at the reminder of her past deeds but she turned to Five instead. "Do you have any leads?"
Diego passed the boy the brown file that contained their father's photo inside and Five threw it down onto the table, where it opened up to reveal the familiar face to them all. "We have one."
"Holy shit...is that Dad?" Allison asked as she leant closer, staring down at the photo with wide eyes.
Vanya had shuffled closer and looked at the picture with no recognition, but a lot of curiosity.
It must be a lot to take in...seven other siblings...superpowers...the apocalypse...finding out your Father is a cold-hearted bastard who may-or-may-not have something to do with the end of the world...
Thea felt a headache coming on just at the thought of it and commended Vanya for staying so level-headed despite the turmoil she must be feeling.
"Yeah, it's him alright," Diego confirmed with a grim face. "And he's standing on the grassy knoll."
Klaus hadn't even moved to take a look at the photo inside and had gone back to reclining in the seat as though he hadn't a care in the world. Thea looked much the same, but that was mostly because she already knew all of this information beforehand.
"Diego, Z and I have tried talking to Dad about what this means exactly, but as you can imagine, so far he's given us nothing," Five explained.
"Story of our lives," Klaus muttered beneath his breath.
"Not nothing," Diego denied. "We know he's planning on killing Kennedy."
"Maybe," Five said and withheld his sigh at Diego's insistence on that particular theory. "But we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. It could be Kennedy, or it could be something completely independent."
"If we know something changes the timeline, it's crucial we make it right," he finished.
"Okay, I understand all of that," Allison said. "But how are we supposed to fix anything when we don't know what's broken?"
"Oh, come on, do the math," Diego said impatiently. "We know Dad's involved in some shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We also know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the President," he rambled, his eyes burning darkly. "So I think we all know what we have to do."
"Find Dad," Five said.
"Kill Dad," Diego said.
They had both spoken at the same time and the siblings all blinked at the opposing answers. Thea sighed while Klaus laughed.
"So we find Dad and then kill him?"
"No," she denied and looked over at her two brothers. "Diego and Five can't agree on their stances regarding Dad ever since we found out he was involved in all of this," she explained for her other siblings.
"Diego's adamant that Dad is somehow involved in the assassination. Five wants to wait for more evidence."
"I mean...none of us are supposed to be here, right?" Vanya's quiet voice chimed in. "So, what if it's us?"
She brought up a good point and Thea smiled at her when Vanya looked around a little self-consciously.
"She has a point," Allison agreed.
"Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" Vanya added on, biting her lip.
There was an awkward pause in the room at her question and Thea blinked as she eyed the sheepish expressions on all of her siblings' faces. Her brows rose and she turned her head to stare up at Klaus' crooked grin.
She opened her mouth to ask but Luther beat her to it, pointing a finger Diego's way, accusingly.
"Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald."
"And you're working for Jack Ruby," Diego snapped back.
Not one to miss out on the drama, Klaus chimed in with a cheery tone. "Allison's been very involved in the local politics."
"Okay, you stated a cult," the girl shot back, eyes narrowed.
"Finally, someone who's sane..." Thea heard an exasperated mutter from Ben and she muffled her smile at his put-upon tone. It seems even Ben has his breaking point.
Klaus glared at the space beside them, pulling silly faces at thin air in a petulant manner. Thea could hear Ben's sigh loud and clear.
"I-I'm just working as a nanny on a farm..." Vanya stuttered, a little anxious at the sudden catfight she'd unintentionally started. "I don't have anything to do with all of...that."
"Well, maybe you do and we just don't know it yet," Allison said with a sigh, looking tired all of a sudden. She turned to regard Thea. "What about you?"
Thea smiled smugly, for once she couldn't be blamed for this entire ordeal.
"I've just been working as a hack seer, performing for a bunch of rich bastards, so count me out~" she sang.
"Of course you have," Allison muttered, shaking her head. "One starts a cult and the other pretends to be a clairvoyant. Why am I not surprised?"
"Hey!" both twins said at the same time before staring at each other and descending into giggles, high-fiving.
A loud, high-pitched whistle cut over all of their chatter and they all paused, looking towards Diego.
"Listen to yourselves," he muttered, shaking his head. "Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy," he chastised. "That can't be a coincidence."
What are you, our teacher, lecturing us like this? Stop acting so serious all of a sudden.
Serious...stop acting so Sirius... Thea snorted at her own awful, cringy humour and ignored the weird looks sent her way.
Diego carried on, pointedly ignoring her. He pointed at each of them as he listed their actions.
"Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll and Klaus is..." he waved his hand in their vague direction, his expression mildly disgusted. "...likely doing something perverted and weird, but still related."
"Ew, it's not a sex cult is it, Klaus?" Thea asked with a grimace, staring at her twin.
Klaus denied it but the small smirk on his face indicated that the idea wasn't wholly a bad one. Thea resolutely shut the lid on that line of thinking, refusing to ever let it see the light of day.
"Clearly, we were all sent back here for one special reason," Diego continued on with his impassioned speech. "To save John Fitzgerald Kennedy."
Thea had already ignored Diego at this point, not agreeing with his theory but too tired to point out why yet again. She stared across at Five, who's lips were pressed into a thin line at the sound of their arguing, his eyes sharp.
Likely feeling her stare, he looked up to catch her eyes and Thea smiled a little crookedly, wanting to bring him out of whatever was bothering him but unwilling to voice her concerns and bring unwanted attention on him.
'You okay?' she mouthed.
Five stared back for a few seconds, his eyes a little distant before he nodded once, shortly.
Their voices continued to overlap one another, Allison arguing with Diego and Diego refuting Vanya's worries, Luther chiming in every other second to give his own point while Klaus continued cracking jokes about the entire situation.
It was only Five's voice that cut through it all. "Guys, you all die."
His blunt words were able to give them pause and Five swallowed like his words were painful. "I was there. I saw it...and I want to forget it, but I can't."
Thea was tempted to peek inside of his head to see it for herself but she knew she couldn't do it without Five knowing and she wasn't willing to invade his privacy like that. If her brother wanted to keep the possible future to himself, then she would let him.
He's doing it to keep you safe, a voice in the back of her mind whispered to her softly, and Thea agreed. She knew Five was much softer than he liked to admit. It was the same the first time he'd returned and revealed to her how he'd found them all, crushed beneath the rubble.
Her heart had ached at his experience then, knowing that her little brother had seen such a horrific sight. But even now, when he was all grown up and much older than any of them, she could tell that the future laid out for them had still managed to claw its way into his heart and wound him.
"I saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it..." he trailed off, his explanation of the near future describing an apocalyptic landscape perfectly. "It's a war that would never had happened if we hadn't brought it here."
Thea swallowed at that point, feeling an uneasy guilt settle in her stomach at the knowledge that, while they certainly hadn't intended it, they may have just doomed everybody else to extinction by merely existing.
"Hazel gave his life to save us so I need you all to shut up and just listen to me."
He paused for a moment, ensuring he had all of their attention before speaking again.
"I don't know if everything we've experienced is connected or if there's even a reason for everything, but Dad will. We need to talk to him before everything and everyone we know is dead."
Luther shot to his feet and with a furtive glance at the rest of his siblings, he stood close to Five and asked to speak to him in private, his voice low. Five frowned, taken aback by the sudden request.
"Why?" he asked, suspicious.
Luther huffed, sparing them all another quick glance before pulling Five towards the stairway.
Okay, totally not suspicious...
Thea blinked at Luther's rash actions and looked over at Diego, who was watching them both with a shrewd gaze. Luther's head soon disappeared from sight and the remaining siblings could only hear their muffled voices speaking low and fast from downstairs.
"He says he needs us all and then they go off to speak in private anyway," Allison said with a frustrated shake of her head, her voice implying she was fed up.
"I'm not sure Five had much of a choice..." Thea mumbled, biting her lip. She wanted to go and see what they were talking about but wasn't sure it was her place to do so.
Luther wanted to speak to him in private, but about what? What couldn't he say in front of the rest of us that was important enough to say only to Five?
Diego had shot up from his seat and followed in their direction. Thea called out for him, halting his quick movements.
"Make sure they're okay, please? If they're fighting then just stop Five from killing Luther, yeah?"
Diego snorted but nodded anyway, making quick strides down the stairs and out the door where Luther and Five had disappeared.
Vanya sighed and seemed to sink into her position on the old couch.
"Do you think they left us because we're not smart enough?" the brunette whispered.
"Please," Allison scoffed, nursing her drink in one hand.
"Luther and Diego share one brain cell between them," Thea joked, getting a snort of laughter from Vanya and feeling Klaus' rumbling chuckles from beneath her.
"So, what does that leave us with?" Allison asked, her smile amused now and less annoyed like before.
The atmosphere had cooled off a little now that the three most intense siblings had gone off to speak privately amongst themselves.
Thea put a finger to her chin, thinking deeply. "Well...I'd say Allison definitely has the most out of us left here," she mused, smiling at Allison's smug look. Her eyes drifted to Vanya.
"Vanya has plenty but is often too shy to let them out," she winked at her sister's embarrassed smile, her fingers tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
Klaus shuffled from beneath her, causing her to look up into his eager face. "And what about moi?" he asked.
"The majority were absorbed by me in the womb whilst the remaining ones are used up by Ben," she deadpanned, grinning evilly inside at his affronted expression.
"Excuse me?" he said with as much indignation as possible.
Ben was almost cackling from somewhere close by and a mischievous grin spread across her face.
Allison and Vanya's laughter was spilling forth, unable to hold it back. Thea flipped her ponytail over her shoulder in a true show of pettiness and she shrugged, a smug smirk at her lips.
"I only speak the truth, Klausy. I can lend you a few of my own if you're that desperate," she jeered.
She yelped when she was suddenly lifted from the chair, captured in Klaus' surprisingly strong arms and spun around so fast the room blurred.
"Oh yeah?" he asked with a dark grin. "Could somebody with no brain cells do this?"
He was twirling her around the room with jerking motions and Thea was laughing all the while despite the horrible feeling of dizziness.
"Yes! This is exactly the kind of behaviour they would exhibit!" she yelled but her voice was too happy to hold any real bite.
Allison and Vanya were still chuckling at their antics and Thea could even hear Ben's laughter between her own shouts for Klaus to stop.
"I'll be sick, Klausy! Noooo – stop..." she cried out between bouts of laughter.
Eventually, Klaus did indeed stop, though whether it was from her threats to be sick all over him or his own waning arm strength, she couldn't be sure.
He collapsed onto the sofa in a huff of stolen breath and Thea lay crumpled atop of him. She was exhausted just from her own laughter and the rush of excitement and now both twins panted to regain their breathing.
Allison bonked them both on the heads, shaking her own in fondness. "Honestly, you two..." she muttered in amusement, a beautiful smile on her face as she looked down at them both.
"Are you sure they're the same age as us?" Vanya tried whispering to Allison, but by the small smirk on her face she had meant for both of the twins to hear her.
"Hey!" they both called out, only further proving her point.
They all enjoyed the moment, the atmosphere light and relaxed until Klaus chimed in.
"You know, I could really go for some tacos right now..."
Thea felt her stomach grumble at the idea and she hummed in agreement.
"Shouldn't we wait?" Vanya asked quietly, peering across at where their three other brothers had disappeared more than ten minutes ago.
"We'll be waiting forever if we sit around for them to return," Allison said, already on her feet and collecting her coat. She smoothed down her dress and Thea thought she looked all prim and proper.
"Vanya?" Klaus directed the question her way and the girl shifted, her lips quirking into a smile.
"I mean, there's no way for tacos to cause the end of the world, right?"
Thea laughed at her answer, jumping to her feet and extending a hand to both her and Klaus.
"Vanya is correct, as always!" she cheered and grinned widely.
Klaus did a little dance to himself at the thought of tacos while Thea moved toward the balcony, looking over and seeing nobody there.
So they really did leave...would it be all that bad if I left with them for just a bit? I mean, if Five was so adamant on remaining here, why did he leave all of a sudden?
Thea was a little conflicted but the feeling of an arm looping through her own and Klaus' content smile made up her mind. The fact that she could hear more of Ben's voice if she went with them only cemented her choice.
Almost an hour later and with the radio cranked to a jazzy music number, the four remaining Hargreeves children were lazing around in a closed hair salon, intoxicated.
Thea was drowning in a pleasant buzz, her body relaxed as Klaus pressed his cigarette to her lips. She breathed it in and exhaled in a content sigh, watching as the smoke briefly obscured her view within the mirror.
She was sat in one of the salon chairs whilst Allison was brushing out her ridiculously long hair behind her, ranting about her new husband all the while.
"I mean, who does he think he is?" she huffed, her eyes narrow and sharp. Despite her cutting words, her hands were soft and gentle upon Thea's scalp.
"The nerve! I mean, one thing goes wrong and suddenly he's on a warpath," she said, taking a generous swig of the bottle on the counter.
"What did he say?" Thea mused, trying to remember what her sister had told them when they were more...sober. "He doesn't know who you are?"
Allison pointed the comb her way, her grin dark. "Exactly! What the hell does that even mean? He knows exactly who I am!"
"Seems to me like he just can't handle it," Klaus chimed in, his body relaxed on his chair like it was made out of goo, all of his limbs collapsed into a gangly pile.
"I'm protecting him," Allison scoffed.
"From what?"
"The end of the world, for one," Allison said, leaving out the 'duh' from her sentence.
"Is the world really going to end in six days?" Vanya called out from behind them and Thea moved her gaze in the mirror to see her better.
They paused briefly at her genuine worry and Thea blinked back the veil of inebriation to try and respond reasonably.
"Five's never wrong," she finally decided on, rather unhelpfully.
"You mean other than the many times he's been exactly wrong?" Allison chuckled at her pout. She turned to Vanya with a soft smile. "It did last time and we did everything Five could think of to stop it."
"Hey, wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" Klaus asked all of a sudden and Thea burst into hysterical laughter.
She slapped her hands against Klaus' arms while Vanya and Allison gave him matching expressions of disgust. "Ew, Klaus," Allison reprimanded while Vanya looked vaguely uncomfortable.
Thea giggled and nodded her head at her twin's words, pointing a finger his way. "Five would make the most handsome adult!" she cheered, waving her hands in the air.
Klaus snorted and looked pointedly towards the empty air not far away from her. "I don't think your enthusiasm is much appreciated, sis."
It took a moment to sink in but Thea's grin turned dopey and she tried looking in the same direction as her twin had.
"No, no...Ben is still the cutest!~" she sang in a lovey tone of voice. It was all too clear that she was very tipsy.
Her reply was Ben's amused laughter and the sober part of her – that was genuinely worried she might have upset him – was relieved.
It was obvious he wasn't taking anything she was saying seriously, which was a lovely thing to do because right now, all of those brain cells Thea had boasted to have were nowhere to be found.
So long as we're still sober enough for Klaus to hear Ben, then it's fine if we let go a little...right?
Klaus had stood up now and was making kissy faces towards Allison, mocking her revulsion by bringing up her own past with Luther.
"We have never even kissed!" Allison shot back, her face a little pink at the sudden focus on her love life.
Vanya swivelled round in her chair, her eyes a little wide at the revelation. They slid over to Thea and back to Allison again, unsure who she wanted to focus on. Thea giggled, a lopsided smile on her face as she stared back.
"Are you uncomfortable at how interconnected this family is, Vannie?" she cooed, enjoying the way her sister's cheeks flushed pink. "Don't worry, none of us are actually related~"
"Apart from us!" Klaus raised his hand with a big grin, looking like an eager puppy.
"Yes, the disaster bisexuals at your service~" she drawled, even giving a little bow.
Klaus raised his beer bottle her way in a toast and she did the same, giggling all the while.
"Hey! It's not like you're any better!" Allison said staring at Thea but the girl didn't rise to the bait and only grinned back languidly, a true smug look.
"I never denied having such awful, forbidden feelings for Ben," she said, pretending to clutch her chest as she described their apparent 'forbidden romance'.
"Who gives a fuck?" she asked nobody in particular. "Honestly, if I didn't judge Five for shacking up with Delores then why would I care if you were dating Luther?" she said, waving her hand in a whimsical manner, remembering the time when her smallest brother had brought home the mannequin, all bloody and dirty.
"Who's Delores?" Vanya asked but nobody answered her question, Allison and Klaus still bickering back and forth, riling one another up.
Finally having had enough, Allison threw her hands in the air, stressing that if anything, they needed to focus on somehow saving her marriage, never mind the end of the world.
In their intoxicated minds, her words seemed to make sense and Thea and Vanya shared an amused look between them.
Klaus denied it, though, pouring himself a generous helping of whiskey and downing almost all of it in one.
"No! No...that's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg," he muttered, his voice slurred. "I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? Huh?"
They all pouted at the truth in his words while Klaus pointed towards Vanya.
"Her? She's enjoying an affair with some farm Frau...which is an improvement on her previous love interest, you know, the serial killer that was obsessed with Thea," he muttered while Vanya shot up from her seat, wide-eyed.
"Wait, what!?"
At her startled look, Thea waved her concerns away. "He's dead, no worries," she said easily but Vanya still looked alarmed.
"My dearest, sweet sister is still tragically in love with our dead brother," he lamented, waving his hand over the emptiness close beside where Thea was sitting, causing both sisters to look her way. "The ghost of whom continues to follow her around making lovey-eyes at everything she does."
"I don't make-" Ben started to say but he was cut off by Klaus speaking even louder.
"And I'm still pining for a soldier...I haven't technically even met yet," he sighed, suddenly forlorn. As if to quell the sudden depressive air, he tacked on rather unhelpfully. "And Luther is in love with his sister."
"We're not biologically related!" Allison fumed once again, their entire argument coming full-circle.
Thea patted her sister's arm, a mock smile of sympathy on her face.
"You'll tire of the denials soon enough, trust me. It's best to just embrace the shame and move on."
Her sage words of wisdom were ignored, however, and Thea pouted petulantly, crossing her arms. Rude.
"The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love is how to screw it up!" Klaus said, raising his arm in the air as though making a grand toast.
Allison had given up trying to argue with him, realising all too late what Thea already knew: arguing with a drunk Klaus was an impossible task.
He began chatting with Vanya about all of their bad habits, especially concerning how they dealt with such turbulent lives and the brunette came to a realisation.
"I'm going to tell Sissy that I love her!"
Thea whooped in encouragement as Vanya proceeded to explain that she wanted no more lies in her life, especially if it was all going to end soon, anyway.
Allison had continued to work on Thea's hair all the while and the girl hummed as the locks were parted down the middle and gathered into a high position. She watched through lidded eyes as Allison's nimble fingers slid the clips into place and wrapped the hair tightly so that it wouldn't come loose.
Despite her intoxication, her actions were none the less perfect, showing her clear skill. Piece by piece, strand by strand, Thea's hair was worked into a new style and her blue eyes sparkled as she realised just what her sister had taken inspiration from.
At the mention of no more lying, Allison pushed in the last clip with a little more force than necessary and turned to face the others with a frown.
"That's right...I mean, if it's all going to go tits-up anyway, then the least I could do is be honest with my husband, right?"
Thea was too busy looking at herself in the mirror to really pay attention. She wanted to speak to Ben but knew that Klaus was too distracted to hear his response, meaning she wouldn't hear him either.
She pursed her lips in a pout but was honestly touched at the look Allison had given her. Turning her head side to side, her eyes sparkling at how professional it looked.
Suddenly feeling a childish amount of glee – likely the alcohol rushing through her system and addling her brain – she jumped from her seat and moved to the centre of the room, hands on her hips.
"In the name of the moon, I will right wrong and triumph over evil! And that means you!" Thea quoted her favourite show as a child, knowing immediately that Klaus would catch on.
She was pointing a finger his way, striking a pose that would normally be silly but in their drunken haze, only caused them all to giggle.
Klaus staggered to his feet, a hand on his chest while he looked at her with fake shock. "Me? The villain?"
Wasting no time he lunged forward and pulled her into an embrace and instead of fighting, the two began dancing, doing a bad rendition of the waltz.
Allison was laughing openly while Vanya was trying hard to stifle her chuckles.
The brunette didn't seem to understand the reference behind her new look but the other two did, their minds remembering all too vividly the nights where Thea had somehow managed to sneak in the manga and copies of the show.
They were spinning around and twirling one another, swapping the leading roles every couple of seconds as Klaus twirled Thea in a circle before she let him dip back dramatically. They were giggling like a pair of school children and soon enough, they had roped both Vanya and Allison into dancing, too.
"Ben! You better be joining in!" Thea shouted in happiness and Klaus snorted as he looked at something none of them could see.
"He's too busy blushing beet red, sis," he joked, smiling sarcastically towards the empty air.
Thea broke from their dance and twirled around, smiling brightly all the while.
"Do I look pretty Ben?" she asked, feeling free from all of her previous worries and clouded in a haze of peace.
"Beautiful, love," was his honest reply and pointedly ignoring Klaus' exaggerated gagging, she grinned.
If only this moment could last forever...
She was once again swept up into her twin's arms and with the music playing loudly from the radio, a funky beat making its way front and centre, the four siblings let themselves descend into the realms of intoxication.
Let me tell you about a place, somewhere up a New York way
Twisting and turning and generally making a silly sight of themselves, the siblings giggled as they let themselves go, riding the waves of the joyful atmosphere.
Where the people are so gay and they're twistin' the night away
Forming a line and shuffling their feet to try and follow the beat they glided across the floor as though it were a stage and they were performing for an audience.
They're twistin', twistin'
Everybody's feeling great!
Thea twirled, hands in the air and her skirt fluttering around her like she was caught up in the wind. Her twin ponytails flew through the air as she moved, dancing like she hadn't a care in the world.
They're twistin', twistin', they're twistin' the night
Let's twist up a while!
Thea was pulled into somebody's arms and she finally opened her eyes to see Allison's bright smile.
Letting her sister lead the way, Thea threw her head back and laughed as she was spun and twirled meticulously, Allison's talent in dancing shining through as she led them with ease.
As the spun, she saw Klaus and Vanya doing the same thing and her jaw ached at how wide her smile was. She was pulled back close to Allison and stared into her sister's lovely, dark eyes with her own bright blue.
They continued to shimmy and strut, shuffling their feet and waving their arms. All four of them were moving as one with the beat and the sounds of their laughter was almost louder than the music itself.
One more time!
They're twistin', twistin', they're twistin' the night away!
Klaus, Thea, Vanya & Allison collectively share one brain cell despite what they like to think and in this instance, Ben was the one using it.
If it wasn't obvious, Allison gave Thea the classic Usagi Tsukino hairstyle! Sailor Moon was my childhood and Usagi was one of my first female crushes...I like the idea of Thea, Klaus, Allison, Vanya and Ben all watching Sailor Moon in secret as children!