Fighting for Sam
Toronto General – Outside Room 513 – 4:30 p.m.
Audrey took a breath to steady herself and hoped Sam didn't spot her puffy eyes when she entered. After Sam had called his credit card company, they discovered the hotel he was still staying at, and she went to gather him some clothing, knowing he would be more comfortable in his shorts and t-shirt than the hospital gown and he needed something to wear when he left tomorrow. Audrey corrected herself … if he left.
Her discovery might alter things considerably. She had broken down and sobbed in his hotel room. Though the truth shattered her heart, she acknowledged a mother's love might not be enough to save her son. Audrey swore fervently to use everything in her power and every tool at her disposal to ensure Sammy's recovery. She lost one child, and she refused to let Sammy go without a fight. Even if that meant overriding his desire to leave the hospital, and Warren would ensure whatever she needed would be supplied, even guards if necessary.
Sam's door opening took her by surprise, and Audrey stepped back, clearing a path as she recognized the nurse. "Hello, Reba."
Keeping her voice low, noting the red-rimmed eyes, Reba said, "Mrs. Braddock, Sam is sleeping. Are you alright?"
Producing a wane smile, Audrey nodded, but she couldn't stop the tears from sprouting again.
Her heart wrenched at the sight of Sam's mother's tears, Reba put her hand on the older woman's shoulder. "How about a cup of coffee or tea?"
Not wanting to be seen in this condition by Sam, she bobbed her head slightly and allowed Reba to lead her to the staff breakroom.
Toronto General – Staff Lounge – 4:35 p.m.
Audrey added a dash of milk to the cup of tea in front of her. "Thank you, Reba. You are so kind."
"My pleasure. Sam is lucky to have such a wonderful mother." Reba settled herself in a chair, her feet aching from being on them non-stop today. With her shift over in about an hour and a half, this was the first time since taking her lunch at ten, she had the opportunity to sit.
They sipped in silence for several minutes before Reba said, "Though not my place to pry, you appear distraught. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No, but thanks for offering."
"I have a positive feeling Sam is going to regain his memories. He is such a sweet guy. And his smile brightens my day. Wish all my patients were as delightful."
Audrey's hand shook as she lifted the teacup. She wondered how much of Sam's demeanor was an act, orchestrated to hide his true pain. Yes, he cried in her arms and worked with Obidiah, but apparently, his remorse still weighed more heavily than she ever imagined.
Ten minutes later, after a pleasant light conversation, her nerves settled, more herself, and ready to face Sam, Audrey finished the tea and offered her thanks again before rising.
Once Mrs. Braddock left, Reba sagged in her chair and sighed. She is one strong lady. I wonder what caused her distress … well, besides her son being forgotten by his teammates. Terrible thing … but if they were all just as hot as Sam that day, perhaps that might explain their lapse. I hope they resolve this amicably.
Gathering the cups, Reba headed for the sink to wash them. She turned on the spigot, and the handle broke off. "Oh, darn!" With the water running non-stop, she opened the cabinets below and reached in for the turnoff valve. The night shift would be none too happy not to be able to make coffee or tea. She would need to place a call to the maintenance department … and hopefully, they would send someone up to fix it tonight.
SRU Barn – Briefing Room – 6:40 p.m.
Five members of Team One nodded thanks from their seats, as Lou handed out Timmy's coffees to them. Debrief on the four hot calls they encountered today completed twenty-minutes ago, and they all hoped no more came in before their shift ended. But they were no strangers to calls coming in right before seven, so took the opportunity to tank up on caffeine just in case.
Their debrief had been unusual in one fact … something which started this morning with Boss. Sam must've been forefront in all their minds, because at some point during each call, someone called for or to Sam to do something. An enlightening fact that although they forgot him at Brighton Complex, Sam managed to become an integral part of their team without them realizing. Which only twisted the guilt knife deeper in all of them.
Spike fiddled with his cup, his mind mulling over the last few days. He didn't look forward to going home tonight. Things with his pa had been tense of late, and when he explained to his ma why he had unexpected days off, the disappointment in her eyes for his actions filled him with more regret. And Pa … well, his looks were always one of disdain for his chosen line of work, but there was extra condemnation when he overheard.
Glancing at Lou, Spike said, "Wanna grab a beer?"
Recognizing what his buddy must be up against, Lou nodded. "Sure."
"Mind if I join you?" Jules asked.
"More the merrier. Wordy? Ed? Boss?" Spike invited with only a name.
Rubbing his sore shoulder, a result of a takedown where he called for Sam to back him up … forgetting for a moment the rookie wasn't with them, Wordy said, "Shel is expecting me. Otherwise, I would." Wordy wanted to spend time with his girls … they soothed his guilty conscience … a little. Nothing would assuage it completely until he could apologize to Sam and that might be a long time in coming if General Braddock had anything to say about it … and he did.
"You should ice your shoulder, buddy." Ed swiveled in his chair.
"Yeah, I will. I'll be fine by tomorrow." Wordy dropped his hand.
After considering whether to go home to an empty house, and deciding the oppressive thoughts of his failure wouldn't be able to overpower him in the company of others, Ed accepted the invitation. "I'll come. Sophie and Clark are having dinner with her parents tonight and won't be home until late."
"Thanks, but I have some reading to do tonight." Greg took a drink, and his eyes shifted to the windows.
"What are you reading?" Jules asked.
Greg's gaze turned to her. Yeah, she would be the one to ask. "A book by Dr. Obidiah Ferguson on the reintegration of soldiers into civilian life after experiencing action. I thought it might give me an insight into Sam. The soldier mindset isn't one I've studied."
"When you're done, you want to let me borrow it? I mean with the larger number of soldiers coming home after serving in Afghanistan and Sudan … would be helpful for more than Sam," Jules said.
"True. Sure."
Troy, Team Four's sergeant, strolled in. "My team is all here and suited up if you all want to leave a few minutes early."
"Thanks. We'll take you up on that, Troy. Been a long day." Greg stood.
As Spike rose, he said, "There's this new place I want to try instead of the Goose. Supposed to have pool tables and a stellar selection of beers."
"I'm game, what's it called?" Lou followed Spike towards the locker room.
"The Fuzzy Mind Bar and Grill."
"Hopefully, they have decent burgers." Ed's stomach rumbled, ravenous and willing to eat just about anything, good or bad.
Fuzzy Mind Bar and Grill – 7:30 p.m.
Steve's lunch get-together with three old buddies turned into an afternoon of drinking and pool then dinner and more pool. He enjoyed his break between tours, but the itch to return to the fight always niggled in the back of his mind. A soldier through and through, he would never be satisfied to live a civilian life. As Ferris racked the balls, Steve's gaze moved to the front door when it opened … ever vigilant. "Well, ain't this a surprise. Back in a moment, boys." Steve meandered towards Ed, unable to walk a straight line.
Jules, Lou, Spike, and Ed located a table in the half-full bar. They took seats as a waitress came over and handed them menus, and they ordered four beers.
Spike sighed. "Hope Wordy's shoulder is really okay. Can't believe we called for Sam so many times and he didn't answer today. The worst was when Wordy needed him to back him up. I should've been there." As soon as he spoke the words, Spike realized his error ... Sam couldn't answer because he was in the hospital and not with them.
Ed scrunched his brows at Spike's choice of words. It made it sound like Sam deliberately didn't answer them, when in fact, he wasn't there to answer. He opened his mouth to correct Spike, but an unexpected voice spoke first.
"Braddick at it again? Sorry to hear Wordy is hurt. Damn, I told you to watch your team's back with Braddock around. He's a royal screw-up who only made it into JTF2 because his daddy is a general. How he ever landed a job with SRU is beyond me. If you want a good candidate to replace the idiot before he gets someone killed, I can pass you Pete Clarkson's number."
Turning, Ed stared at Steve, as did the others. Ed recognized Spike, Jules, and Lou were not privy to Sam's reason for leaving JTF2 and wanted to keep it that way if at all possible. The alcohol fairly wafted off Steve, so Ed gave the inebriated man a little leeway in his response, but needed to set things right and shut him down. "Sam's not at fault for Wordy's shoulder injury or the other situation for which he was cleared. And I'd appreciate it if you would not trash talk a member of my team."
Swaying and grabbing onto the back of Jules' chair, Steve snorted. "What, General Daddy make a huge donation to your policemen's fund or something, and you gotta be all nice to Braddickwad? The privileged prima donna always comes out on top, while others pay for his mistakes."
Jules' eyes rounded. "Sam's our teammate. Keep your nasty comments to yourself. I think you've imbibed enough alcohol and need to take a cab home to sleep it off."
A leering expression crossed Steve's face as he ogled Jules. "What, he get on top of you? Heard screwing others is the only thing he was ever good at. I'm better than him." Steve leaned down, his hands pawing at her, and his lips moved in to kiss her.
In a swift movement, Jules was out of her chair and had Steve's arm twisted behind his back. "Time for you to leave."
Using his greater mass, Steve whipped around, ramming his elbow into Jules' jaw, sending her to the ground. In the blink of an eye, Ed, Lou, and Spike were on their feet. Spike went directly to Jules, helping her up. Ed ducked when Steve swung at him and landed a return blow when Steve tried again. Lou positioned himself behind Steve to grab his arms, trying to restrain him before things escalated.
Steve's buddies took exception to their friend being assaulted and joined the fray. Blows were exchanged. Tables and chairs knocked over and broken. Six others who needed no reason to fight, jumped into the melee, while the majority of the patrons and the wait staff backed up giving the brawlers a wide berth. The owner called 911. Thirty minutes later, four members of Team One sat in chairs, ice bags to bruised faces, giving statements to uniformed officers as Troy's team and other constables led out ten drunken men in handcuffs, Steve among them.
When they were all alone again, Spike sighed. "I guess it is the Goose from now on."
Ed nodded, visually examining his team.
"What did Steve mean by watch your team's back with Sam around?" Jules asked.
"Never mind. Not my place to tell, and it makes no difference. Steve's opinion is wrong."
"Does this have to do with why Sam left JTF2?" Spike shifted his cold pack from his eye to his split lip.
Ed stood, ignoring the question. "Suggest you all go home. Boss isn't gonna be too happy tomorrow when we walk in all bruised."
"Worth it. Didn't like Steve's comments regarding Sam and no one hits Jules and gets away with it." Lou rose.
Spike and Jules followed suit, and they ambled out of the destroyed bar.
Toronto General – Fifth Floor – 8:30 p.m.
"I'll be back in a moment. I'll bring you some ice cream when I get my coffee if you like," Audrey said after receiving the text from Obidiah indicating he arrived.
"Sure. Thanks, Mom." Sam rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. He looked forward to this being the last night in the hospital and appreciated his mom bringing him regular clothing today from his place. He wondered why he hadn't rented an apartment in three weeks and continued living in a hotel. Perhaps the job he came for wasn't working out as he expected or maybe he just hadn't found a place within his price range or to his liking.
He hoped the missing pieces would fall into if he was in a familiar location. Sam let out a heavy sigh as thoughts of Ben came to mind. God, he missed him. Though it might be four months later to everyone else, Ben's death was still raw for him. Sam clenched his jaw to stop from screaming out his grief ... mostly because he didn't want to worry his mom.
When Audrey stepped out, she spotted the psychologist near the breakroom. Not wanting Sam to overhear she hurried in his direction and halted outside the open door. "Thanks for coming. I didn't want to talk to you about this over the phone."
"Anything you need Audrey, you know that. Anything." Obidiah leaned on the wall.
Reaching a manicured hand into her pocket, Audrey withdrew a slip of paper. Her hand shook, but she managed to keep her voice even as she said, "When I went to Sam's hotel room, I found several things which concern me. On the nightstand was the pearl-handled colt Warren gave Sam. It was loaded. Next to the gun was a stack of pictures of Sam and Ben. Ones from high school to JTF2. But this …" she held out the paper, "this is what broke my heart and worries me. I think this is a suicide note."
Ferguson took the sheet and unfolded it. And silently read the missive.
Ben,
Life is too hard without you. No one understands me as you did. I wanted to make a difference … but I destroyed you instead. I wish I could change things … but I can't … and living with the knowledge I killed my best friend … my brother is too much to bear.
The only thing keeping me in this world is how disappointed my father would be in me if I take the coward's way out … and how much I would hurt my mother. But somedays things are so dark I pick up the colt, caress the trigger, and think how easy it would be to eat a bullet and end my agony.
I'm good … too good … I wouldn't miss … I never miss. God, I wish I had missed you. I deserve to die for taking your life. I want to die.
Refolding the note, Obidiah put an arm around Audrey and pulled her to him. "It might be a suicide note, but then again, it might be an outlet for his negative thoughts."
"Should Sammy be released tomorrow afternoon? I'm so afraid if he is … he might try to take his life. Especially after what his SRU team did to him."
"First, Sam isn't aware his team forgot him. Not yet, at least. So that won't factor into my decision. I will explore his current mindset regarding Matte's death tomorrow morning. If I find he might be at risk, I think a more controlled environment would be in order, but I believe we can achieve that outside a hospital setting.
"Regardless of whether he is in that state of mind, perhaps moving him back home to Ottawa would be best for a short period. He appeared comfortable living there when we worked together in April, and the loving and supportive environment you and General Braddock created for Sam previously will be beneficial if in fact, he is contemplating suicide."
Audrey nodded and pulled out of her long-time friend's comforting embrace. "Okay. I'll make travel arrangements in the morning while you talk to Sam. I want to help him heal both physically and emotionally. If only that sergeant had ensured all the men were out of the target zone before giving the clear to fire signal, Sammy wouldn't be going through this, and sweet Ben would still be alive."
"Yes. But we can't change history. We can only go forward. I believe, with time, Sam will be able to adjust and come to terms with what occurred. He might always carry a sense of guilt, though it wasn't his fault. However, remorse doesn't have to ruin his future happiness. Stay optimistic, Audrey. Your son is a resilient man."
Ferguson pocketed the note. "I'll hold onto this for now. Go spend a quiet evening with him, and I'll tackle the gritty stuff in the morning after Sam is well-rested."
"I don't know how Warren and I will ever repay you." Audrey hugged him fiercely then stepped back and gave him a slight smile.
"Your happiness is payment enough." Obidiah chuckled as he added, "And my bill will be quite high … likely break the bank."
Audrey giggled. "Free won't break the bank. I wish you would actually let us pay you."
"I would never charge friends. And you're paying for my travel expenses and hotel already. I'll meet with Sam about eight thirty, and if you can come by at lunch, we'll talk with Dr. Sawyer regarding our decisions. And Audrey, do try to sleep tonight … but not in the recliner. We need to keep things on an even keel. Sam will expect you to go to your hotel room this evening."
"Don't want to, but I'll heed your advice. You've been right so far." Audrey waved as Obidiah strode towards the elevator.
She sighed when the doors closed and then turned to enter the breakroom to grab an ice cream cup for Sam from the freezer. Audrey noted a plumber working on the sink and wished she had moved to the private conference room to talk, but she had been so rattled she hadn't thought clearly. Without giving him much attention, she selected an orange sherbet, picked up a plastic spoon, and hurried back to Sam.
"Here you go, sweetie." Audrey handed over the frozen treat and spoon.
"Where's your coffee?" Sam asked, noting the lack of cup.
In her haste to return, she forgot her ruse for leaving, but then recalled the maintenance worker. "The sink was broken, so no coffee. Besides, I shouldn't have more caffeine so late if I want to be able to sleep."
Toronto General – Staff Lounge – 9:05 p.m.
As the plumber completed his job by snugging down the bolt, he ruminated on what he overheard. A grin crossed his face as he turned on the main valve to test the new faucet handle for leaks. "Yep, the whelp's suicide might be the best thing for me." Finding everything working properly, he whistled as he gathered his tools and headed out, his mind now at ease with a perfect opportunity to rid him of his problems.
His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket, surprised by who was calling. "Hey. What's up?" He paused and listened. "Damn. Yeah, I can. I'm due for my lunch break. How much is bail?" After finding out the details he hung up, and his decision solidified, but he would need to plan and act fast.
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AN: And the plot thickens. Hope you're enjoying. Thanks for all the wonderful comments.