Ch. 22

As the three stood outside the Hokage's office, Kakashi made sure to pay attention to Naruto and Sasuke. He was hoping that some progress had been made in the department of putting Team 7 back together. He glanced at Sasuke who looked to be his usual pensive self, but as he looked at Naruto, he noticed that he seemed slightly dejected. He was expecting Naruto to be a little happy, but instead, he looked like he was thinking about something…something that was very hard to deal with. Kakashi squinted his eyes as he realized that Naruto was probably thinking about his relationship with Sakura.

Naruto turned and caught Kakashi looking at him and decided he better try to find something to do. Anything was better than having Kakashi examine him. He looked on the ground and saw the briefcase that had their clothes. He had left it outside the Hokage's office before they went on their mission.

He turned to Kakashi, "So now that this reconnaissance mission is over, can we change back into our regular clothes?" Kakashi replied, "I don't see why not…" Naruto grabbed the briefcase and motioned for Sasuke to follow him. Sasuke nodded and started walking with him towards the men's restroom.

Kakashi squinted his eyes at them as they left. He thought things were looking better after what had happened earlier. It looked like Naruto had started going back to his normal self, but now something had changed. Kakashi couldn't put his finger on it, but something was definitely off. He didn't see any of that anger or closed-off attitude Naruto had exhibited over the past few years. Instead, it looked like he was just in emotional pain. Kakashi let out a sigh as he realized that Naruto's problem wasn't gone but was instead changing.

He found himself wondering if something had happened on the mission that the three nin left out of the mission report. Maybe he'd ask Sasuke later.

As Naruto and Sasuke were changing, Sasuke spoke in a slightly inquisitive voice, "What's bothering you?"

Naruto dropped his eyes. He was trying to escape from Kakashi, but now he had to deal with Sasuke. He spoke through his stall in a voice that didn't hide his annoyance, "I'm fine..."

As Sasuke put on his shoes, he replied with a simple, "Ok."

Sasuke's short reply left Naruto a little confused. He was used to Sasuke's one word retorts, but that was a little easier than he thought it would be. He thought Sasuke would keep pushing for information like he did when he had first arrived, but instead he just backed off.

After Sasuke's reply, there was an awkward silence between the two.

After a few seconds had passed, Naruto found himself feeling a little bad for shutting Sasuke down, especially since Sasuke had just let himself be shut down.

Naruto let out an audible sigh, then spoke as he walked out of his stall, "I'm just thinking about things…"

As Sasuke walked out of his stall, he replied, "Things related to the mission we just completed, or things related to Sakura?"

Naruto smiled and shook his head. He knew Sasuke already knew the answer. "Sometimes I hate you, Teme." Sasuke let out a small smirk before replying, "So what's on your mind?"

The two shinobi were now fully dressed and were standing in front of the sinks. Naruto looked down into the sink, then up into the mirror. "I thought that I could fix things with her if I just tried hard enough…but it isn't working…"

After a short pause, he continued, "I tried to push past the pain, to put on a smile... but the more I smile at her, the more it reminds me of why I stopped. And when I try to get closer to her, it just reminds me of why I distanced myself from her..."

Sasuke slowly gave an understanding nod. After a few seconds of looking over at Naruto, he realized that Naruto still wasn't ready to let what had happened go.

After a few seconds of silence, Sasuke let out a small sigh and turned to Naruto, "If that's the case, then don't work on that right now."

Naruto's eyes slightly widened at that. He thought that everyone, especially Sasuke, had been pushing for him to fix his relationship with Sakura. Now Sasuke was backing off of that idea.

Sasuke continued, "As comrades, you guys have to at least get along, so try to focus on that. Maybe someday, you'll be able to forgive her, maybe not. But whatever happens, you can't really be enemies with her. You guys work together."

As Naruto looked down into the sink, he thought about what Sasuke had said. After a few more seconds of thought, he lifted his head to look at himself in the mirror. Sasuke watched him and noticed there was a certain determination in his eyes, like he had resolved to do something.

Sasuke asked in a semi-inquisitive voice, "What is it?"

Naruto paused for a moment, then said in a serious voice, "I'm gonna talk to Sakura…" After a short pause, he continued, "I can tell that she thinks things are just gonna eventually go back to how they used to be... I can't let her keep thinking that."

Sasuke paused, then gave a nod of understanding. As the silence dragged on, he turned to Naruto. "So, we gonna talk in here all day?" Naruto smiled then walked out of the restroom with Sasuke following him.

As Naruto started to walk in the direction of the Hokage's office, he noticed Sasuke wasn't moving. He looked like he was thinking about something. "What's up?"

Sasuke looked pensive for a second before replying, "I'm gonna go meditate. That new intel could turn into a mission, we need to be ready."

Naruto nodded, then paused for a second and said, "You should probably eat something too, you know."

Sasuke slightly shook his head and said in a monotone voice, "I'm fine."

Naruto gave a slight chuckle, then looked over to Sasuke. "Separating could be risky. You're still supposed to be accompanied by me at all times..."

Sasuke wore his usual blank expression, "There's an easy way around that. Just make a shadow clone and use a transformation jutsu."

Naruto squinted his eyes as he thought about it. It actually wasn't a bad idea. After a few more seconds of thought, he replied, "Ok. That could work."

He looked both ways then did the hand sign for a shadow clone jutsu. After the shadow clone was created, he used the transformation jutsu to turn the clone into Sasuke.

Naruto looked over to Sasuke, "I need to know where you'll be so I can call you if the decryption finishes." Sasuke thought to himself for a second then said, "I'll head over to the Hokage monument. That should be a quiet place." Naruto nodded then said, "See ya later." Sasuke nodded then started walking in the other direction.

Sakura had recently finished setting up the decryption program to break the encryption. She turned to Tsunade who was sitting in a chair across the room, "This is gonna take longer than I thought. The first encryption was easy to break, but file's been encrypted multiple times." Tsunade looked down pensively before asking, "How long do you think it'll take?" Sakura stared at the screen for a little while, then replied, "A few hours at the least."

Tsunade looked over to a clock that was on the wall. 10:07 AM. She turned to Sakura. "When do you think it'll be done?" Sakura looked over to the clock as she replied, "Maybe around 1:00 PM…" Tsunade paused, then nodded and stood up. "Are you actually actively doing anything?" Sakura replied, "Nothing much. The program is doing most of the work."

Tsunade thought for a second, then turned to Sakura. She noticed she looked a little out of it so she decided to take over the decryption process. "If that's the case, I'll take over here and let you and the others know when it's done. We don't know what intel we're gonna find, so make sure to eat something and try to rest up. We don't know if this new intel is gonna result in another mission." Sakura stood up, then nodded in agreement.

Before she could leave, Tsunade asked her, "So how are you doing?" Sakura looked a little taken aback, but managed to smile and said, "I'm fine." Tsunade paused to look at Sakura, then gave a small smile before replying, "No you're not..." Sakura's smile slowly faded.

After a short pause, Tsunade said in a gentle voice, "It hurts doesn't it?" Sakura kept looking down but said in a soft voice, "What?"

"When that forgiveness you were looking so hard for seems to have finally been given, but the pain doesn't go away…" Sakura let out a slow sigh and nodded before saying in a barely audible voice, "I don't know what to do…"

Tsunade looked at Sakura with a gaze of understanding before replying in a soft voice. "Sakura. You have to start by doing the hardest thing… You have to forgive yourself."

A small tear formed under Sakura's eye as she continued to stare at the ground thinking about what Tsunade had just said. As Tsunade stared at Sakura, she found herself empathizing with her and said in a warm voice, "I believe in you, Sakura. You're a good person, you've just made some bad choices... With time, I know you'll find a way to make things right..."

After a few moments, Tsunade noticed the tears that had formed at Sakura's eyes and decided to lighten the mood. "Remember, I'm a lot older than I look, kid…" She paused, then smiled and said in a jovial voice, "Now get out of here…"

Sakura lifted her head, then smiled and gave Tsunade a nod as she turned to leave.

As Sakura walked out the door, she closed it behind her and saw Naruto and Sasuke walking towards the office. She was thinking about heading back to her apartment to grab something to eat and get a little rest, but she saw the briefcase in Naruto's hands and noticed she was still wearing her uniform. As Naruto and Sasuke reached where she was, she said in a humorous voice, "Uniforms were uncomfortable?"

Naruto managed a small smile. "No, just didn't need them anymore…"

Sakura thought for a little, then replied, "Yeah, I'm gonna change back into my usual outfit too…" After a short pause she continued, "Where are you guys headed?" Naruto scratched the back of his head and let out an uncomfortable chuckle. "This actually isn't Sasuke. It's a clone I used a transformation jutsu on. The real Sasuke is probably meditating right now…" He did the shadow clone hand sign, and then the clone disappeared.

Sakura's eyes widened at the news. After a moment of stunned silence, she managed to ask Naruto, "So where are you headed?..." Naruto looked up towards the ceiling as he started thinking to himself, "I'm not sure yet…"

After a little while, Sakura motioned to the briefcase he was holding and said, "I'm gonna need that…" Naruto looked down before replying, "Yeah. I almost forgot that this was the whole reason I came back here…" He paused, then spoke in a soft but firm voice, "There's just one thing I have to talk to you about first…"

Sakura silently gulped. She was hoping to have some time to think about how to fix things with their relationship, but now it looked like Naruto was broaching the subject.

Naruto slightly dropped his head as he began, "Do you remember when you said you loved me?..."

A slight blush crept up to Sakura's face as she replied, "Yeah…"

Naruto kept looking down, "Do you remember what I told you?..."

Sakura didn't have to think for long before she dropped her head and replied in a soft voice, "You told me you hated people who lied to themselves..."

Naruto slowly nodded, and after a short pause, he continued, "That's what I've been doing…" Sakura slowly looked up into his eyes. As their eyes met, she saw that same pain she had been seeing for the past few years. No vibrant blue. No joy. The only thing there was the pain that she had caused, and it made her sick to her stomach.

Naruto looked away as he continued. "I told myself that if I just tried hard enough, things could go back to how they were between us…but I was lying to myself..." He paused then looked back to her. "No matter how hard I try, I can't just let what happened go… I can't."

Sakura found herself tearing up at the sight of a broken Naruto. It was her fault he was like this and there was nothing she could do about it. She wiped away a tear before replying with a soft, "Ok…" She didn't really know what more she could say. He was obviously still hurting and couldn't move past her betrayal. She had to accept the consequences that her choice had brought to her.

After a moment of silence, Naruto nodded then said in a soft voice, "Thanks for understanding…" Sakura slowly nodded. After a short moment of silence, Naruto put down the briefcase by Sakura and said, "I better get going..." Sakura slowly nodded as he started walking away. And just like that, she felt her hopes of fixing her and Naruto's relationship start to fade.

Naruto felt a little bad while he was walking away. He knew that Sakura was probably in a world of pain right now, but he was confident that he had done what needed to be done. He wasn't going to lie to himself anymore and he couldn't just let Sakura think everything was ok.

Author's Note

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