Chapter Three:
The drive up to the farmhouse was long and laborious. Kirby joined April in the front seat of the van. They had to stop for gas on multiple occasions and she had to stop and check the engine at least three times. It hadn't run that long in awhile. In the back, the brothers sat, heads hung, staring at their father's mummified body. None of them spoke. None of them cried. They just stared. Casey followed in his fixer-upper car, carrying the luggage and the food.
As she drove through the winding upstate roads, she recalled waking up to Donnie's concerned gaze. April? April look at me. Are you alright? She nodded, but her head pounded against her skull. She was incredibly aware of her eyes, which pulsed with her heartbeat. You had another, um… You passed out. She squinted and attempted to sit up, only for him to catch her just before she hit her head on the pavement. Don't move. He concentratedly inspected her, checking her vitals. She heard Mikey sob from the other room, and she remembered. Her heart sped up. Splinter, she gasped. His face twisted in pain and she watched tears fill his eyes as he looked away. Her hand found his arm and squeezed. He didn't talk much after that.
She wondered what he was thinking as she watched the rain pour onto the asphalt. The wipers swiped vigorously across the windshield, and she was relieved when the O'Neil mailbox came into view. Her father shifted in his seat. It would be the first time he had been there since her mom passed away. It was late afternoon already and it would take a while before they settled in. When the van finally came to a stop, they all sat in eerie silence, waiting for someone to make the first move. It was Kirby who got out first. She saw him slowly approach the house and she heard movement from behind her. The back door slid open. She took off her seatbelt and got out, taking a deep breath. When she rounded the backside of the van, already soaking wet, her heart lept into her throat. The turtles were carrying him into the barn, careful not to disturb any of the wrappings. Casey watched as well, digging the toe of his shoe into the dirt. The barn door slid shut.
"April!" Kirby called from the porch. The urgency of his voice made her turn. His eyes were brimming with tears. "Can you… Come with me?" he asked. She smiled slightly.
"Sure, Dad." She walked up and grabbed his arm, taking the key out of his hand and unlocking the door. He took a deep breath and set his shoulders before letting go of her and stepping over the threshold. A smile spread across his face as he walked through the place, and April couldn't help but smile too. Seeing him happy made it a little easier to be away so often. Soon, everyone was settled in, and she helped her Dad prepare a dinner. Nothing special, just some spaghetti. She called for them when it was ready and slowly, everyone made their way into the kitchen. They were prepared to let everyone do their own thing, but the brothers gathered at the table anyway. It was sort of an unsaid requirement for all of them, after they watched the turtles sit. As if it was now appropriate to have dinner at the table, as long as they were okay with it. For awhile, no one spoke and April was just about to break the silence when Leonardo cleared his throat.
"We wanted to thank you guys. For everything. We were going to rest up tonight and have the ceremony in the morning. You… Don't have to take part in it, if you don't want to-"
"Of course we would, Leo," Kirby said. Leo nodded.
"Thank you," he said again. The room fell silent. April found Donatello's eyes just in time for him to look away. Raphael finished his plate quickly, and exited the room with barely anyone noticing. Michelangelo downed his as well, asking for seconds and even thirds.
Before long, they had all dispersed, and April went up to her room to catch up on some homework. She told her professors that a close family member had died and that she wouldn't be able to attend class for a few weeks. All of them understood, and the ones who hadn't had their lectures posted already sent them to her, along with messages of condolences and extension promises. Mostly, she just wanted to get it all done as quickly as she could. Because, despite always feeling like she's drowning in homework, her classes were starting to bore her. This way, she could get it done at her own pace. For hours, she focused all her energy into getting it done and was caught up from the past few days, then ahead for a few weeks before she knew it. Donnie would be proud, she thought wryly. Speaking of him, he never came to say goodnight. She rubbed her eyes and pulled her sweatshirt on before slipping out from beneath her warm covers. She padded down the stairs to find Michelangelo passed out in front of the television, which blared re-reruns of Crognard. He wore the "Kiss The Cook" apron that she bought when they stayed there during the Kraang invasion. When she passed the kitchen, she saw Leonardo sitting at the table, sipping on some tea. The room was spotless and smelled slightly of food and cleaning supplies. She sauntered in, taking the jug of milk out of the fridge and pouring some of it into a mug. She popped the microwave open and set it in, getting the honey out.
"It looks nice in here," she said.
"That was all Mikey… He couldn't stand the dishes just sitting there. One thing led to another, and- well, he cleaned the entire kitchen. And then he made lunch for tomorrow. I had to slip something in his tea just so he would sleep."
"I'll make sure to thank him tomorrow."
He fell silent again and she turned around to find him staring out the window, past the rain. His hands gripped the cup, wringing them unconsciously. She wanted to talk to him, but she knew he didn't want to. On top of being a more "suffer in silence" type, she knew how it felt to lose a parent. She wasn't going to push it. Her milk was finally done and she stirred a bit of honey into it. She suddenly felt very self conscious, careful not to make too much noise with the spoon or step too loudly on the creaky boards. She took a sip before speaking again.
"Have you seen Donnie?"
"I thought he was with you?" he asked, still not looking away from the window.
"N-no… He didn't even come in to say goodnight. I'm gonna check on him."
He nodded once.
Before she really realized it, she had thrown her coat and boots on. Concentrating hard, she let her feet lead her into the rain and to the barn. When she approached, she saw that the light was on and the door was cracked. She slipped in and found him on the far side of it, slouched in a chair. Splinter's body lay in front of him, on the desk. She shivered and wrapped her hands around the mug for warmth. She had almost forgotten. Temporarily, at least. It felt very similarly to when her mother died. Her brain would let her get distracted by trivial things, when suddenly, it would hit her like a truck. She would suddenly realize that her mother was gone. When she woke up, she waited awhile for Donatello to walk out of the dojo, when an unanticipated shock of grief racked her whole body. She felt a wave of nausea-like grief strike her again.
"Donnie, I brought you some warm milk. I figured you could- Donnie?" Not once had he turned or even moved, to acknowledge her presence. When she got closer, she saw that he was breathing, which calmed her a little. Still, it didn't sit right with her. She finally faced him and saw that his eyes were closed and he whistled through his teeth with each exhalation. If Splinter's body hadn't been there, she may have smiled. She noticed that a few tools were laying around, and didn't want to think about what they were for. She set the milk down on a smaller table to the left, before approaching him again. She put a hand on his shoulder.
"Honey-" she was cut off by him yanking her wrist away, flipping her onto the dirty ground with a growl. His face wore a mask of anger that she had never before seen, and it caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. Her eyes watered and she legitimately questioned her safety. He stood above her, panting, before his face fell and his eyes bulged.
"Oh, God, April!" he gasped. He wrapped a single hand around her back, helping her to her feet. "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? Are you okay?"
"I'm… fine."
He sighed.
"No you're not. That was… I am so sorry. I don't-I don't know what came over me, I… Here." He took her aching wrist in his hand more gently than she had ever felt him touch her. He moved it around, and she felt the dull pain start to fade. Still, her body shook and she flinched when he brushed against her. She tried not to make it so obvious, but she could see that he noticed. "Is that better?" he asked, wrapping it lightly.
"Y-yeah, it is…"
"You'll want to keep that there until the swelling goes down. That shouldn't be for long, but if it starts to hurt again, just let me know." He let go of her and though she had been scared, she longed to hold him. "Listen, April, I'm sorry… I was… dreaming of… Anyway, I should have never done that, be it consciously or not. That was-was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. I want you to know that I… I don't ever want you to be afraid of me. I won't ever hurt you like that again, I promise you that."
"I know… I know you didn't mean to…" She put a hand on his bicep and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Um, I brought you some warm milk and honey. It's, uh, probably cold now, but… If I might ask, what were you dreaming about?" She went and grabbed the mug, feeling it was still slightly warm and waited for his answer. He sighed again, after taking a swig of it.
"I just… I've just been thinking about every possible outcome, being here, and I… I thought that if The Foot could infiltrate our lair without my security systems being set off, then… Well, what if they were here, now?" He didn't dare look at her, for fear of being judged. Or worse, laughed at. On top of that, he was so ashamed, he could've retreated into his shell right then. She stood, shivering at the thought of The Foot being there. Watching them. Waiting for a weak spot. "I was… Imagining myself, fighting K-" he stopped and took a breath before continuing. "Karai… I must have still been dreaming when you snuck up on me."
"You have nothing to worry about…"
"I know, I just… I can't… I can't lose anyone else. I…" He grabbed her by the shoulders, ignoring her instinctive flinch, and pulled her tight to his plastron. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat before continuing. "If something happened to you… To my brothers, your father, Casey… I couldn't- I would never be able to forgive myself."
"We'll be alright. We… we're gonna get through this."
He wrapped one hand around her head and another around her lower back, pushing her to him again. When he pulled away, she saw his eyes water and he opened his mouth to say something. Her heart sped up when she felt as if they were being watched. Her head pounded and she let go to grip it.
"April, what's going on?"
"I think someone's out there, watching us…" His hand flew to his bo staff, which was propped against the table, next to Splinter's cane. He threw himself in front of her and held it up defensively. As her head pulsed stronger, she could feel their emotions stronger and stronger. Anger, despair, guilt, loneliness…
"Whoever you are, show yourself!" Donnie yelled, shifting his feet to make his stance lower. Focusing hard, she felt them as they desperately tried to get away. Something told her that they were gone for good, and she wondered who could be plagued with such complex emotions. The farther they got away, the less her head ached, but Donatello did not move from where he was.
"They're gone," she said. He relaxed, then turned to face her.
"Who-"
"I couldn't tell you… They were… I dunno, scared, but angry and so terribly sad, and then they just-just fled…"
"Hmm," he hummed, scratching his chin. "I'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious. I built some motion sensors and set them up around the barn and the house. I calibrated them to notify my T-Phone any time one of them is triggered… C'mon, let's go get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow." She nodded and intertwined her fingers with his the best she could.
We're gonna get through this, she thought. ...Right?
"You never anticipate losing one of the people you love most. Although, living the life of a ninja can be dangerous and trying, Hamato Yoshi never failed to be prepared with whatever came barreling at him. Even when he lost everything, he found purpose. He was a true warrior, the greatest of his time, and dare I say, ours. But not only was he that, he was an incredible teacher. At his harshest- his scariest, he was gentle and understanding. He encouraged us to never give up, never give in to the parts of ourselves that tell us we're not good enough. He taught us compassion and honor. He was the strongest person I've ever met. He loved unconditionally, with his heart and arms open. When we were young, it wasn't exactly easy for us. Life in the sewers, as you can imagine, was tough. We didn't always have a lair or gear or even beds. But he always found somewhere for us to sleep. To stay warm, and healthy. When we complained of hunger pains, he scrounged up whatever he could find. And, of course, at that young age, we didn't realize that he would go days, sometimes weeks without food, so that we wouldn't have to suffer through it. I remember one day, we were searching for a place to sleep, and we had to get through this really rough part of the tunnels, that had just been affected by this huge rainstorm. We were really high above this pit. At the bottom of it, was this swirling vat of water, with branches and trash and sharp edges poking out everywhere. I was so scared. We all were, but I just-I froze. I couldn't stop staring at all the danger beneath me. Everyone made it across, and he called for me, but I was so paralyzed by my fear. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't bring myself to take one more step. Well, none of us realized that the ledge we used to get across had been eroded, and it started to fall apart. As if I wasn't scared enough, my only means of transportation to my family was crumbling before my eyes. He finally got my attention and he was shouting at me to jump. To just jump out there. I wasn't going to. Not until the ledge beneath me gave out and I was plummeting toward the water. Little did I know, that he had taken some of Donnie's rope and lassoed it around a pipe. He swung down and caught me and we made it up to my brothers and I looked at him and I shouted 'How could you do that?! How could you let me fall?! I could have died!' I was so angry. Not really at him. At myself. For being so weak. But, he just looked at me and he said 'If you do not fall, how will you ever learn to get back up?'. If Master Splinter taught me anything, it's resilience. And I know he would want us all to practice it, even now. Even during this time of darkness. He'd want us to stay strong for one another. And, speaking on behalf of all of us, we'd like to carry out his wishes."
Leonardo turned to his father's body, which lay atop a board and a stack of hay. He put a hand on his head and pressed a kiss to it, before turning to Donatello, who had the match ready to strike, a look of despair plaguing his face. April sniffled from behind him, and Kirby turned his gaze to the ground. Casey shifted uncomfortably next to Raphael.
"Wait!" Michelangelo said, and stepped between his brother and Splinter. "You can't yet, you- I need to say goodbye one last time." Leo nodded. When the youngest turtle turned to his father, his face twisted in pain, and he once again threw himself across his chest, body shaking with sobs. Raphael reached for him, but he wouldn't budge. He gritted his teeth, but the tears still came, streaming down his cheeks. He couldn't stand to see his brother like that.
"C'mon, Mikey. It's time. You have to-"
"No! Wait, please, just- wait!"
They let go and April buried her face in Kirby's shoulder. He patted her head and pulled her closer. Casey put a hand on Raph's shoulder, and for once, he didn't flinch away. He looked back with a mixed expression, but Casey knew it meant 'thank you'. Michelangelo put his face up to Splinter's ear and cried as he whispered.
"I love you, Sensei."
Raphael sucked in a pained breath as he watched his baby brother have to be peeled away from their father's body. Donatello had wrapped his long arms around him and yanked him back a few feet. He followed, and paused in front of the orange masked turtle.
"Mikey. Mikey, hey. Listen."
His big blue eyes found Raph's.
"It's time."
Donnie loosened his grip.
"I'm not ready, bro," he replied, voice cracking. Raphael blinked away tears and offered a comforting hand on his brother's arm.
"Me either."
They heard Leonardo strike the match against the board and his hand shook as he placed it beneath the wood.
The hay lit up first.
The brothers came together at the sight, not noticing that everyone else had slipped away, and held each other until the last ember went out.
From inside the forest, a figure watched the turtles numbly walk away from their father's grave, which was marked with the bud of a new tree. Before going inside, Leonardo turned back, and his eyes narrowed when they landed on the silhouette. His head fell when he finally stepped over the threshold. After the sun was long set and the grounds were quiet, the figure emerged from the woods, taking a knee before Splinter's grave. A light turned on inside and they dashed back into the comfort of the shadows.
One month later…
"They're fighting again, aren't they?" April asked.
"Yeah," he sighed. "And this time I tried to get in the middle of it." He turned the webcam back to him, to reveal a bruised and swollen eye. She gasped.
"Ohmigod, Donnie!"
"April, I… I don't know if I can deal with this for much longer-" In the background, a crashing noise could be heard, and he was immediately out of his seat. She watched as he grabbed his bo staff and then, she was staring at his room, only able to use her hearing to inquire about what was going on.
"Are you fucking serious?!" she heard Donnie shout. "Raph! Go to the dojo! I'll deal with you in a minute. Leo, in here. Now!"
"Leo, please, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"
The door shut. Something else could be heard breaking.
She worriedly scanned the screen, only to see Leonardo walk past, holding a bloody arm. When she looked closer, she saw something glint in the light. It almost looked like- oh, God.
"Donnie! Is everything alright?!"
He came into view, holding his first aid kit.
"No. It is most definitely not alright. Listen, April, I gotta call you back-"
"I'm fine, Donnie. Would you just let me go now?"
She almost gasped at the anger in Leo's tone. She hadn't heard a word from him since the funeral, and his voice sounded hoarse and deep. Weighed down by grief.
"Is-is that…"
"Raph's sai sticking out of Leo's arm? Yes."
"Holy shit. Holy shit! Is he okay?! Will it be okay?" After a silent inspection, he nodded and muttered to himself.
"He'll be fine… I just have to get it out. It luckily didn't hit any arteries or nerves. Clean through the muscle." She noted the anger in his voice. It wasn't often that you heard him get this way. He was so gentle, so kind. "You two need to stop this. You're adults. Act like it. Leo, you can't go egging him on. And don't tell me you haven't been doing that. You're trying to pin your emotions on someone. Your blame, and-"
"Last time I checked, you were my brother, not my fuckin' therapist," he spat. Donnie gaped at him. April tried to cover her gasp, but she saw him look over to the screen. Her stomach churned at the empty look in his eyes.
Eventually, he had Leo patched and cleaned and had him send Raph in. He sat, with a black eye of his own and what looked like a gash beneath it.
"Donnie, I… I can't say I'm sorry enough…"
"Yeah, well, you're lucky there was no permanent damage."
"He just… You gotta believe me, I was… Keeping my distance after what happened last time. And he just- he just came at me, head on, with his katana drawn. It was… It scared me, Donnie." He stopped cleaning the red-masked turtle's wound and squinted in thought.
"He… attacked you?"
"Yes! It was… He seemed, I dunno, off."
"Hmm… Okay… I'll try to talk to him again. Meanwhile, don't go anywhere near him. And keep these patches on. Don't take out the stitches. It needs to heal. If that cut had gotten any further north… You'd be half blind." He patted Raph on the shoulder and sent him on his way. As soon as the door could be heard clicking shut, his shoulders dropped and he covered his face with his hands.
"Donnie…"
"How long, April? How long must this drag on? If he was here, he would know what to do. What to say…" He sat in front of the camera again and she could see the tension in his neck. "God, it's like… I forget sometimes, you know? I wake up and I go warm up in the dojo. And then I realize I'm waiting for him. To come in, with his tea. And he just… doesn't." His eyes watered again and he rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger.
"I miss him, too…" she whispered, trying to cover up the quiver in her lip and the crack in her voice. He looked up at her then, his face paling and eyes wide with fear, realization. It almost concerned her, how scared he looked. He didn't look… right. His face was warped in a way that aged him ten years.
"He's gone," he said.
She nodded.
"He's really gone." His shoulders slumped forward and a strangled sob escaped his lips. Everything he had been holding in for his family oozed from his pores and she, too, cried. For him, for Splinter, for their broken family. His face burned at the thought of April seeing him like this, for the second time. He knew he could be open with her, but there was a part of him that still liked to present himself as the ninja he was raised to be. As strong, stoic. His large hands covered his face in shame.
"Oh, Donnie…" April's hand gently slid down the screen of her computer, and she noticed he hadn't let his heart shatter yet. He'd kept it together for them, but he didn't let himself break. He was always one to push himself to the limit, skipping meals and going without sleep to work on projects and retro mutagens. Her own heart ached for him, knowing what a blow the loss of her mother was. How it felt to finally break down and let it sink in. She remembered the night she realized it.
It was one of the biggest storms to hit upstate. The lightning was so bright, it lit her entire room, and the thunder so loud the house shook. She screamed and called for her mother, hid beneath her blankets and heard the footsteps rushing down the hall. When the door flung open, there was her father. And her father alone. He ran to her aid, and she peeked out at him from beneath the covers.
"I… I want Mom," she said. Kirby's face fell and his lip trembled and he took a deep breath before saying
"She's gone, April."
And that was it.
He stayed up with her all night, while the anger and sadness flowed out of her and filled the place to the very edges. And she was prepared to sit with Donnie, too. For as long as it took. Even if it was all day and night.
Leonardo wasn't one to lie. He hated it more than when Raphael threatened to leave the team or when Michelangelo chewed with his mouth open. And, as he flew across rooftop after rooftop, guilt creeped into his stomach. You're not technically lying, he told himself. If they have no idea where you are. Still, he leaped and flipped and let the wind rush by him, forgetting how suffocated he felt below. How being in the dojo made his lungs forget how to work. How despair leaked from every corner of the lair.
The night was particularly cold, for late April, and the air stung his throat, but he couldn't stop himself. The adrenaline was too much of a high. It felt too good to be out of the stuffy confines of his underground home. Finally, his legs gave out, somewhere in Chinatown. His chest heaved and tears stung his eyes as the guilt engulfed him again. He knew he was wrong for forbidding access to the streets to his brothers. He knew he was wrong for feeling such rage toward Donatello and Raphael. For hurting them, over and over. His hand brushed his bandaged arm, where his red-masked brother's sai had been sticking out not too long ago. He remembered how scared Raph was of him. How he was so angry he could hear nothing but his racing pulse in his ears. He didn't even stop to think about why he was mad. Raphael had done nothing. Said nothing. Not today, at least. But he went after him. Without so much as a second thought, he ran with his katana in an offensive position. He shivered at the memory of his brother's face twisted in fear, shielded by his arm, as if Leonardo were going to hurt him. You were going to hurt him. If he hadn't stopped you, what might you have done? He shook his head at the thought. Tried to convince himself otherwise. But it creeped back.
A sudden movement behind him knocked him back into reality and he sprung from his knees to spin around. There was nothing. He heard something else to his right. Then, his left. He drew his katana and turned just in time to block the strike of a tanto.
One he would've recognized anywhere.
She grinned at him, as he shoved her away, lowering his stance.
He stared for a long second, before charging at her with a cry of fury. Every move he threw at her, she blocked. He thrust a katana toward her side and she dodged, knocking the sword from his hand. He cursed and turned briefly, bringing his left leg around and felt it connect with her jaw. She stumbled to the ground, and he watched as she rubbed it, smiling harder. Her teeth were coated in red and she spat blood onto the concrete roof. While she was down, he took advantage of the break, pulling her up and pinning her against a large air conditioner. Her skull cracked against it, but he didn't seem to care as much. In a swift movement, he brought his elbow down against her wrist, knocking the tanto lose and kicked it away. He brought his own blade to her neck, leaning in close. He was startled to notice that she still smelled faintly of jasmine, as she always did.
"What're you doing here?" he asked, coarsely. She gave no answer. Instead, she forced her knee into his plastron, earning a grunt, and he let go. Again, she lifted her leg and thrust a kick into the same spot, knocking him on his knees. His katana clattered against the rooftop. With a swing of her fist, she landed a blow against his cheek. For the second time, she swung her fist, colliding it with his nose. His head whipped to the side and the coppery smell of blood filled his nose, coated his tastebuds. A wave of nausea twisted his guts when the memory of Splinter's blood being retched all over the floor of the lab flashed before his eyes. He froze, paralyzed with the horrific sight. She sent a kick to his shoulder, and he fell backward, his carapace saving his head from cracking on the gravel. When he looked at her, he saw the anger flare in her.
"Fight back, Leonardo!"
Her amber eyes bore into his, and he watched as her features eventually softened. His jaw clenched at the thought of her pitying him. Babying him. Embarrassment making his face burn beneath his dull pain, he swung his leg out against her ankles, and she too, fell flat on her back. As she fell, he noticed she had let her hair grow out. The underside was now a deep magenta, almost red. He liked it. Next to him, she panted, a smile creeping it's way across her face again. She turned to face him.
"That's better."
He moved his head to look at her, their faces inches apart. His cheeks flushed and his eyes drifted away. He saw her lips part and turn down, her face tilting slightly and moving a centimeter closer. He felt his heart pump loudly in his chest when her eyes flicked to his lips, and she leaned in another centimeter. As her eyelids started to lower, a breath hitched in his throat and he rolled over onto his hands and knees. Her face burned red and she was up in an instant, only to slam her foot into his plastron once again, and he saw fluttering silver stars in his vision. Using his elbows, he propped himself up, just in time to see her throw all her weight into her forearm, striking him in the chest. The air in his lungs left at once, and he saw more stars as he felt her blade against the skin of his neck. She was so close, her nose touched his beak. He felt the tears before he really saw them, fighting their way out, rolling down her high cheekbones. She tried to ignore them, her face a beautiful stone sculpture. But he saw her lip quiver ever-so-slightly. Absentmindedly, his large hand lifted, his two fingers brushing the hair from her face, his thumb sliding softly across her cheek, over her lips. And, though confusion and irritation crossed her features, she leaned into the touch. Her breath sped up, too. The tanto dropped from her hand and fell to the side and she smacked his hand away from her face. Sniffling, she backed up against the same air conditioner he had slammed her up against, and he sat up, feeling sick at the sight of the dent her body made in it. He took a shaky breath before he talked.
"Splinter is gone," he said.
Her head drooped between her knees.
"It was you, wasn't it? At the farmhouse?" He hesitantly scooted closer, waiting for her answer, leaning himself against the AC unit. She lifted her head to meet his gaze. Her eyes burned and her face turned up in pain.
"How did you know?"
"I just… did."
They sat in silence for what seemed like ages, listening to the sounds of New York. She felt torn. Leonardo comforted her. In a weird way. Made her feel… Like no one and nothing else did. And it scared her more than anything. She knew that her "ways" were unorthodox. They always were. But she wanted to talk to him like she wasn't raised to be a deadly assassin. She wanted to be there for him. She wanted for him to be there for her. She knew she could count on him, no matter what, but a part of her coiled away from the feelings she had for him. A part of her resented him for making her feel weak and vulnerable. He finally touched his cold shoulder to hers, sighing. She felt his gaze on her, and tried to ignore it, but found herself looking back into his ocean blue eyes.
"Karai…" he whispered. It was soft. Gorgeous, almost. The way his hard, stony facade faded away. He caressed her face again, and she brought her hand up to his. She couldn't bring her face to his. When she rolled her head away, she noticed a small piece of fabric in his belt pocket, tightly secured with the shuriken. Was there a hint of red? She reached for it, and he hit her hand away. When she flinched away from him, she saw the fear in his face. Felt it in the air. "Don't." She licked her lips again reached again, quicker this time, grabbing it between her fingers and lifting it gently. It rolled out onto her palm. What she saw took her breath away, and her hand flew to her mouth.
It was a piece of his robe.
The Hamato Crest was hand-sewn into the delicate fabric. Her lip trembled again at the sight of bloodstains on the beautiful design. Without expectation, it was gone from her hand. She let him snatch it away and glanced over to the edge of the roof. She knew which alley it led to. She could be gone in an instant. She could be halfway to her new apartment by now.
It was hard to give up her place in Japan. It was just her, there. No mutants. No aliens. No evil warlord fathers. No Karai. No Miwa. She was just… Her. But how could she stay gone at a time like this? When they needed her most. When she needed them most? Of course, think of your next exit strategy. What else would you expect? Coward.
"I'm sorry," she gasped, standing there, awkward with guilt and shame. He shoved it back into it's place and took a deep breath.
"He left something for you."
Her head snapped to his direction. Slowly, she felt the comforting arms of retreat begin to engulf her, but he grabbed her hand. She shook her head vigorously, trying to get away. But his grip was like iron on her small wrist.
"Get off of me! Let go! Stop! No!" Her screams were all for naught as he pulled her into an embrace, nuzzling her face into his neck. For a moment she stiffened, until the image of the bloodied Hamato Crest filled her vision once again. Her blood rushed in her ears and her lungs gasped for air as she sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…"
"Mikey?" Raphael asked.
Just like always, no answer.
"I… I really need someone little brother… C-could we talk?" He scratched his neck awkwardly, kicking a loose pebble on the floor.
No answer.
"C'mon, please?" he begged, knocking again. With each passing moment, his anger boiled his blood at a hotter and hotter temperature. His nostrils flared and tears stung his eyes and he clenched his hands into fists. "Mikey, God, just say something? So I know you're alright?" Still, no sound came from inside. Fear coursed through his veins and his hands shook, before he pounded a fist against the door. "OPEN THE DOOR, GODAMNITT!" Now irate, he pulled at the knob with all of the force in his body, unable to get it to turn. "DONNIE! DONNIE, HURRY!" The lab door slid open so fast, it hit the wall and came back. His brother was there in an instant, bõ staff at the ready.
"What is it, Raph?!"
"It's Mikey… I think there's something wrong! We gotta get in there!"
"What? What do you mean-"
"Just get me in there, will ya?!"
"Raph-"
"JUST DO IT!"
"Alright, alright!" he said, leaving and coming back with his lock-picking gadget he'd made when they were fifteen. As soon as the gears could be heard shifting, Raphael shoved the door open. Donatello gasped.
His room was spotless.
No collection of human underwear, no pizza boxes. His action figures were on his shelves, organized and his bed was made. Softly, he snored as he slept, curled up, with his headphones on. Raphael wanted to wake him up, but he knew it wouldn't end well. Mikey had his own way of dealing, and he needed to respect that. You could try to talk to Donnie, he thought. But he knew how irrational and sometimes dumb his purple-masked brother thought he was. It was worth a shot, anyway. He definitely couldn't talk to Leo, and Casey was busy with work. And he was never much to talk to either. All Raph ever did with him was drink, and while it was fun and they had a good time, it wasn't what he needed.
"He's fine, Raph. C'mon, let him sleep."
He backed out of the room, taking one last look, before shutting the door.
They walked away in silence, but he followed Donnie to his lab. When his brother turned around questioningly, he finally spoke up.
"Could we, uh… talk?" he asked.
He blinked.
"Um… Sure, bro…"
When they entered the lab, a shiver ran down his spine. It felt cold. He glanced around at all of his brother's projects and the certificates from all of his online degrees on the wall. He dared not look at the lab table, or the floor around it. But it was no use.
He remembered the night their father passed, he walked in to get Donnie. April was still out of it, and everyone else had gone to bed. He knew that if he didn't say something, Donnie would be up all night. And they had a long drive the next morning. He slid the door open, to find him scrubbing the floor relentlessly, the scratching of the sponge the only sound echoing through the lair. The bucket next to him was red. The soap and water and cleaning agent tainted. His brother's hands were raw, blisters forming. His eyes stared forward in concentration. He didn't even see or hear Raphael come in. It scared him, though he wouldn't admit it, to see his genius brother doing something so mindless. His hands shook as he reached to stop his brother's. The look Donnie gave him almost brought tears to his eyes. He looked like a child, innocence painting his features. It wasn't him. He was lost in his wonderful mind, caught off guard by grief. It made Raphael uncomfortable to be in the lab.
"What's up?" he asked, plopping into his rolling chair and typing away at his computer. The turtle in red grabbed a chair and pulled up to the table, crossing his arms.
"I'm worried about Mikey."
"I am, too."
"I mean… Is it healthy for him to sleep so much? He never leaves his room. Not even for training. I don't wanna force him to do something he doesn't want to, but…"
"Raph, he's grieving."
"Don't you think he's acting beside himself? This isn't Mikey. Even when Sp-" he gulped, before continuing. "When we were waiting for him to… He made us breakfast like always, he was-he was our brother. He wasn't cutting himself off or locking himself away."
"I know this isn't like him. He just needs his space right now-"
"Yeah, but why? I can't stand to see him like this, he needs to snap out of it-"
"He can't just 'snap out of it', Raph! Don't you get it?! I mean, of all people I think you'd get it!" Donatello said, his voice raising a bit more.
"What-"
"He's depressed."
Raphael blinked.
"Sleeping all day, pushing us away, acting different, not eating… Tell-tale signs." He sighed and stopped typing, looking his brother in the face for the first time in awhile. He saw how aged he looked; tired, sad, angry. "The best thing you can do for him is let him figure it out on his own, okay? He'll completely reject any form of therapy or attempts to get him out of his rut. Or admit to anything. But he'll come around. And if the situation arises, we'll be there to help." He reached his lanky arm over the table then, laying a hand on Raph's shoulder and smiling faintly.
"We're gonna get through this," he said, patting Donnie's hand. "We'll be alright."
"I think so, yeah…" The turtle in purple leaned back in his chair, sighing loudly in relief.
Just then, his T-Phone rang.
"April?"
"Donnie!" she yelled. She sounded panicked. Her voice wavered and screams could be heard in the background. Her breaths were labored; as if she were running. He leaned forward intently.
"Honey, what's-"
"Donnie, something's going on up here. With The Foot, they-" she was cut off by a loud boom and a crack, before the line went static. He yanked the phone away from his ear. When he looked back at the screen, he noticed he had ten missed calls. Ten missed calls?! He thought.
"April?! April!" He stood abruptly, knocking over weeks of work, leaping over the table and sprinting to the door, grabbing his bo. Raph followed him.
"What's going on?"
"Sh-sh-she said something about The Foot. I need-I need to get Mikey up. We have to find her. Where's Leo? Where's Leo?!" He spun back around, and went to his desk, typing again.
"Donnie, tell me what's going on."
"I don't know! She said something was going on with The Foot and then-and then there's was an explosion and I lost her signal- oh, God!" He sunk deeper in the chair, eyes wide with fear. Raphael stared at him for a moment, hoping to whatever's up there that he wouldn't slip into that state again; into that mindless, floor-scrubbing state.
When he was sure that he would be fine, he ran to the dojo, where he grabbed his sai and gear. As he left the dojo, he saw Leo come in, and had to do a double take when he saw that he was smiling. Grinning, from ear to ear. Actually smiling. He tried not to be angry at the sight. What the fuck is his problem?!
"Where have you been? We gotta go-"
He stopped in his tracks when he realized why his brother was so happy. Just past the turnstiles, entering the lair, was Karai. Or what looked like Karai. Her hair was longer, and… pink underneath? She wore ripped jeans and boots, with a leather jacket and a t-shirt. There was no armour, but he saw the tip of the handle of her tanto sticking out from her left boot. Her makeup was more subtle, but still designed carefully and precisely. The patches of leg that could be seen were covered in tattoos, and when she yanked up her sleeve awkwardly, he saw them there, too. All that aside, he felt the urgency of the situation start to overwhelm him. Last he knew, she had up and left the city; went to Japan or something and cut ties with everyone here. Even Leo. Even Splinter. Her own father, she left behind. And he had pretended to understand. He said that she was a tortured soul. But they all heard him say a prayer for her every night. They saw the look on his face when someone mentioned her name. She hurt him deeper than he let on. She broke his heart. And he'd never forgive her, ever. He didn't care what was 'honorable', she was still the enemy in his book. And his mind reeled at the thought of her showing up now, of all times. How ironic that just as The Foot started whatever rampage they'd started, Karai would appear, sad and weak. That she would wait to come back and acknowledge her father's death until this moment. This day. The angry beast inside him took over again, like it had when Leo attacked him, like it had so many times before, and he charged forward, stopping inches from her face when Leo ordered him to cease.
"And what are you doing here?!"
"She's here to get what's rightfully hers. Sensei left her stuff, too-"
"Yeah, well, I don't trust her! She can stay her ass in Japan or wherever the fuck she disappeared to, for all I care!"
"Raph, what the hell has gotten into you?!"
"The Foot! That's what's gotten into me! Something's wrong. April's in trouble."
Leonardo blinked.
"What?" Karai asked.
"Mikey, Mikey wake up!" Donnie shook his brother, until his eyes peeled open. He took off his headphones and squinted up at him.
"Whaa-?"
"April's in trouble. We have to go. Now!" The turtle in orange sprung from his bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and opening the drawer to his nightstand and grabbing his nunchaku. It was instinct now, he realized, to grab his weapons when someone was in trouble. Even as Donnie's words were still taking time to seep in, he found himself focusing on the weight of them in his hands. How natural it felt, but how out of practice it felt too. He followed his genius brother into the hallway, trying to uncloud his thoughts.
"Donnie, what do you mean? What happened?"
"She called and said something about The Foot, and then there was an explosion and-" he paused, his gaze focused somewhere near the door. The youngest turtle peered around the genius groggily. He followed his eyes and his heart sank. Oh. It's her. He rolled his eyes and walked out into the room, where Raphael stood next to her, arms crossed over his plastron, jaw working. As he looked about, he locked eyes with her and her chin tilted up optimistically. He sighed heavily and watched the ground as he went to grab his gear. Of course she'd show up now, he thought. She couldn't have been here when he was dying or even attend his damn funeral, but by all means, just stop by.
"So, what's the plan, Fearless?" he heard Raph ask. He hadn't heard the nickname in awhile. The red-clad turtle only really ever used it when he was angry or being endearing. Which confused Mikey a lot, though he never said anything. His brother had always been a complicated dude.
"Um…"
"The last place her phone gave off a signal was just outside of Kirby's apartment. We should check there first. From what I've heard from the police scanners, it's close to there that their little demonstration is going on," Donnie said.
"He's right. Kirby's is our first stop. We'll take the Shellraiser."
"I'll stay here, to protect the lair. Just in case," Karai interjected. They stared.
"That won't be necessary. I've got security set up for miles. If someone compromises it, we'll know." The purple-clad turtle glared at her, but Leo stepped in.
"She's got a point."
"What?" Raph asked, clearly agitated.
"We could use her. It's important this place stays hidden-"
"Yeah, well, we know how she likes to stick around."
Each of them turned to Mikey, wide-eyed, except Karai. He felt a pang of guilt roll through his stomach as her face twisted up and she looked at the floor. He too, averted his gaze to something, anything else. He wished someone would break the silence.
"You're forgetting a key point- APRIL IS IN TROUBLE AND WE'RE STILL DOWN HERE ARGUING ABOUT OUR PLAN!" Donatello shouted. "I don't care about the lair or Karai's commitment issues! I'm leaving now, so if anyone would like to come help me rescue her, now is the time!" He stormed off toward the lab, grabbing what he needed as he went, waiting for his brother's to get their heads out of their shells and follow. Please let her be okay. Please let her be alive. Please.
"Master Shredder. I have news-"
"I do not have the patience to hear of yet another failure-"
"It's Karai, sir."
He turned.
"What of her?"
"She was spotted. Here. In the city."
He looked out over the rooftops from the window behind his throne. His hands clasped together behind his back, he swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke up. She was alive. That was all that mattered. She was well, she was here. And he would get her back.
"Find her. Bring her here. At any cost."
"Yes, sir."
"And what of Miss O'Neil?"
"Disposed of, Master Shredder."
"See to it the turtles know of her demise. Soon the painful sting of death will be upon them, and I will finally be rid of pests."
He dismissed the man with a single gesture, running a hand over his helmet before placing it upon his head for the first time in a long time. Vengeance would be his, after all.
Author's notes: Hey guys! I haven't written many notes in here because I didn't expect much traffic. Thank you SO much for the views! It means a lot to know that people are at least reading. I appreciate it more than you know. If you have questions or comments or suggestions, feel free to do so! I also wanted to apologize for the formatting... There should be large breaks between certain parts, but it doesn't work how I'd like it to... Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll be posting the next one soon!