Mia felt numb and cold, her despair so deep it surpassed any point of sensibility. For the next three days she mainly just laid around and took turns staring at the wall or the ceiling if she wasn't trying to sleep it all away. She had tried a few times to call Leah, who she knew would be level headed and impartial, but her phone must have been off, as it would always immediately go to voicemail. Mia thought better about calling Jackie, who would probably insist on stomping down to Bill's house and giving him a piece of her mind. Mia knew Jackie was busy with baby stuff, anyway, and didn't want Jackie to have to worry about her again.

So Mia stayed in her house, thankfully not having to work due to the holiday and the weekend, wondering how on Earth she was ever going to make it out of this one. Catching Aaron cheating on her was devastating enough, but Bill…

She had been so sure he was different, and that he would never do that to her...she thought she would have recognized the signs by having gone through it once before, but clearly not...she was just a stupid idiot as always…

It was painful to think of him, and everything reminded her of him. It was easier to sleep so she wouldn't have to think at all.

She thought she loved him. She thought she was going to be with him for, well, forever...they had only been together for less than half a year, and maybe she did move it along quickly, but she was so sure he was truly the one for her, that they were perfect for each other, that they had a real future together, and their lives would be complete with each other in them. It had felt like she had known him for years and years and not just a handful of months.

And now look where she was...alone again...never enough, never good enough...what was it about her that was so awful to make people want to be with someone else?

She had used up most of her scheduled time off of work at the beginning of the year already after Aaron cheated on her; she had needed to use them as her mental health days. And now the holiday weekend was finally up and she was faced with having to return to work, with no time off left to take. She was to leave for the outside world and interact with other human beings again, she wondered if it might just be easier to just not go. Who cares, anyway?...who cares about anything…

That same evening, she heard a knock on the door.

Her chest tensed and adrenaline coursed through her body. She hoped it wasn't Bill...especially since she looked like hell right now. Her hair had been tossed into a side braid, merely to get it out of her way, and now it was fraying and loosely coming undone. She wore sweatpants and a large T-shirt, and she knew she probably looked pallid and peaky from too much sleeping and loafing around in her misery.

The door knocked again, a little more hurriedly this time. Reluctantly Mia shuffled to it and twisted the knob. Jackie quickly pushed in now that the door was unlocked, but because she had a spare key she probably would have tried that next.

"Mia! What the hell is going on?" Jackie asked quickly, her eyes full of a frenzied worry as she looked over the sad state before her.

"Hi, Jackie." Mia dropped down onto the couch, waiting to be lectured like a misbehaving child.

"Why haven't you called me?"

Mia shrugged, not meeting her eyes.

"Look at me!"

Mia did so, and Jackie fussed over her appearance, poking and prodding her, assessing the situation she was in.

"How did you know?" Mia asked quietly.

"Raul called me! I guess Gilbert found out and told him so he told me. I'm not surprised to hear you've been ignoring his calls."

Mia shrugged. She was ignoring Raul, but she would be ignoring anyone. She didn't have the energy to socialize with people, especially someone like Raul who took a lot of mental stamina to keep up with.

"Why didn't you tell me? It's been days apparently! What have you been doing?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me. Again. And besides, you have to take care of yourself for the baby's sake. If you stress over me it's not good for the baby."

"Don't worry about me or the baby. We're fine. God, look at you. You're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"That thing where you don't do anything! Have you eaten anything?"

Mia shrugged.

"Do I have to watch you eat again like last time?"

"No. I got it, alright? I don't need you to mother me."

"Clearly you do. You look like a hobo."

"Thanks."

Jackie sighed.

"You're not doing well and I can't trust that you'll take care of yourself. I've seen this already."

"Jackie...who cares. What's the point."

"What?"

"What's the point."

"The point of what?"

"This. Anything. It all leads to nothing."

"Mia! Stop!" Jackie grabbed Mia's arms and shook her.

Mia shrugged again. She knew she was being difficult, but it was easy to be.

"Can we talk about it? Can we talk through it?" Jackie asked gently.

"There's nothing to say. I'm worthless and awful and no one wants to be with me."

Jackie started to say something but stopped and rubbed her temples, attempting to steady herself and get her bearings.

"Okay, truthfully, I don't know what to say to make it better. Nothing can make it better. The best I can say is that you got two bad draws. And I'm sorry it's happening to you. But it's nothing YOU did. You're a great person, Mia, and a great girlfriend to those dumb asses, but you can't fix dumb ass no matter how great you are."

Mia said nothing for a moment. She heard what Jackie was telling her, and it sounded like good advice. But it meant nothing to her. The wound was still much too fresh, and probably would be for a long time…

"I loved him, Jackie. I thought I loved Aaron but I was wrong. But I really did love Bill."

Jackie's face softened into something sad. She held Mia's hand.

"I know you did."

Bill kept trying to tell himself he did the right thing. He probably could have executed it better… probably should have executed it better… But it was for the best.

Mia would have done the same thing, eventually… She would have left him like how he left her…. But now, at least, he had Lenore again, and she actually wanted to stay and be his wife again. The thought of Lenore cheating on him or leaving him, again, was on his mind, but he ignored it. He couldn't think about that, because then it would mean he would be alone again and breaking up with Mia would have been the gravest mistake of his life.

Lenore moved in immediately and made herself at home. Bill was sure to gather up Mia's things to keep them out of the way, as he was sure Lenore would have just thrown them out. He even put his birthday painting of the goldfish Mia made him away because it was too painful of a reminder of her.

Lenore seemed alright. She wasn't being nasty or belittling like she had been in the past. She was actually rather affectionate and attentive to him. He thought he would have liked it and wanted it, he thought he would find himself in his new life while she kissed him and cuddled up to him, but instead he felt detached. It felt wrong, it felt like he shouldn't be there, like he shouldn't be around her.

She tried a few times to initiate sex, but Bill wasn't in the mood. It felt too weird to him. He even tried to close his eyes and think about Mia… But once he caught himself doing that he immediately shook it from his mind. Mia wasn't his girlfriend anymore, and she never would be again. Lenore seemed a little offended that Bill didn't want to do anything with her. He couldn't get hard for her, he hardly kissed her with any passion behind it, and he even pulled away when she tried to hug him. She seemed to brush it off though and didn't take it too much to heart.

"After a few days you'll get over her. Then you'll have nothing but eyes for me."

Once she started talking about getting remarried, Bill decided to go out to the alley where his friends were. He hadn't seen them in days; he was too ashamed to face them, to confess to them he broke up with Mia and took Lenore back. But he needed to get out of his house and away from Lenore, from her constant grabbing and rubbing and talking of marriage. He needed a break.

He walked almost timidly across the street to where Hank and Dale stood drinking.

"Boomhauer still gone?" he asked.

"Yep… He and Leah should be back next weekend," answered Hank. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, um, just enjoying the weekend before it's back to work."

"Did Mia get a new car?" Dale asked, motioning to the different car in Bill's driveway.

"Um…"

As if on cue, Lenore stepped outside, all dressed up and ready to go.

"Hi Baby," she said sweetly as she came over to them.

Bill avoided Hank and Dale's faces, though he could feel they had expressions of bewilderment.

"My, you look like you've seen a ghost," Lenore chuckled as she saw them. "Did Billy not tell you?"

"Tell us what?" Hank asked tentatively.

"We're back together! We're going to get married again! Isn't it great?"

She must have taken their looks of shock for looks of pleasant surprise, because she said "I know! I'm as excited as you are! Well, I must be going. Girls night out. I'll see you later tonight," she murmured in Bill's ear before sticking her tongue in his mouth.

"Bye, boys!" she waved to Hank and Dale, then strutted away to her car and left.

Bill took a sip of beer while the other two gawked at him.

"Bill," Dale said after a moment of awkward silence, "What the fuck?"

"Seconded," Hank added.

"Did Mia dump you?" Dale questioned.

"No."

"Okay… Why is Lenore here then?" Hank asked.

"We're back together."

"So what happened to Mia?"

"I uh… Broke things off."

"What?"

"YOU dumped HER?" Dale couldn't believe it.

"Why on Earth would you do that?"

Bill sighed.

"I wanted to let her go. So she could be happy. She could never be happy with me."

Hank was silent as he tried to comprehend what Bill just said.

"As asinine as that is, and I will come back to that, how does Lenore factor in all this?"

"She showed up at my house a few days ago. She said she wanted to get back together with me. She misses me and she wants to be my wife again."

Hank raised a condescending eyebrow. "Okay...let me get this straight… Lenore shows up at your house and says she wants you back, so you dump Mia, the girl who never cheated on you or humiliated you, for the one who did?"

"Lenore says she's different now. She said she's not like that anymore."

Hank's brow furrowed.

"You are the biggest idiot in the entire world."

Dale shook his head in disbelief. "I have to agree with Hank. I mean, I always knew you were an idiot, but wow…"

"Well, what should I have done, then? Stayed with someone far out of my league who would end up leaving me anyway? I'd end up alone if I stayed with her, at least now I have Lenore."

"You really hate being happy, don't you?" Hank said hotly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Any time something remotely good comes into your life, anything that gives you pride, or purpose, or joy, you find some way to ruin it so you can go back to being miserable."

"I'm going to be happy with Lenore."

"Keep telling yourself that," Dale grunted, shaking his head.

Hank sighed. "Maybe I'm the idiot for thinking you'd let yourself be happy for once. You know Lenore is just using you. She probably wanted you to break up with your new girlfriend for her so she'd feel powerful, now she's using you for your house and money. Why is she talking about marriage? So she can get money again after she divorces you… Again?"

"Give me a break, Hank. I came out here for some peace. I was hoping to just talk to my friends and have a moment where I don't have to think about how shitty I am."

"Well dang it, Bill, when is it going to sink in? When are you going to let yourself be happy?"

"When are you going to grow a fucking spine?" sneered Dale. Hank nodded in agreement.

"Alright, it's done and over now. Let's move onto something else."

Bill cracked open another beer and chugged it down.

Mia somehow forced herself to go to work. It was mostly Jackie insisting that she keep a routine and keep busy, which she insisted would help her through the heartbreak.
She did find some light and purpose with work still, at least. It made it easier to cope with leaving her house when her main focus of the day were animals and not people. She even smiled a little, a real smile and not her false one put on to look hospitable, when a woman brought in a litter of newborn puppies for a health assessment.

Sometime in the midweek she finally got a phone call from Leah.

"Sorry, my phone was off the past few days. Jeffrey and I got married!" she burst, sounding so excited, overflowing with elation.

"What? Really?"

"Yep! We eloped! It all happened so fast. We hardly planned to do it, we kinda just decided to go!"

Mia blinked while she took it in.

"Wow, that's great! I'm so happy for you. Mrs. Boomhauer!"

"I know! I can't wait to be home on Saturday. We have to get together!

"Definitely!" Mia tried sounding excited, but she knew she wouldn't feel like getting together with anybody.

"Great! And oh- I saw you tried calling a few times. What's up?"

Mia hesitated. She didn't want to bring down Leah's joyous mood.

"Uh, nothing… Just wanted to see what you were up to!" She hoped her fake happy mood sounded convincing.

They talked for another minute before hanging up. Mia was very happy for her. Getting married must be so exciting. Her mood actually improved a little after hearing the news. Then she wondered how often she'd see Leah anymore; kind of tricky considering Bill lived right next door. But she supposed Leah could just come to her house instead.

The days crept by, painfully slow. Work squeezed out every drop of emotional and mental energy she had. By the time she got through the door late afternoon everyday she was exhausted by everything.
Jackie kept swinging by, sometimes bringing food and making sure Mia ate it. Mia had no appetite whatsoever, but ate begrudgingly to placate her sister.

Finally Friday came, marking one week since Bill crushed her. She couldn't believe it had been a whole week already. A whole week since her world had imploded.

She came home from work, burnt out from pretending to be happy around clients and coworkers all week, and fully planned on sleeping until Monday. She did not plan on hearing a knock on her door.

She knew it wasn't Jackie. Jackie kept asking if it was okay if she didn't come over tonight, asking for forgiveness, saying she'd break her plans if Mia wanted her to. Mia of course told her she would be fine, though Jackie probably didn't quite believe it.

When she saw it was Raul, and interestingly, Gilbert, she felt more tired than ever. She drained her battery on people at work all day, she wasn't sure if she had any more left to spare.

"Hi, guys," she said, and moved aside.

"Thanks for letting us in. I was hoping you wouldn't ignore me," jested Raul, kicking off his shoes.

"Don't take it personally. I didn't want to talk to anybody."

"I won't pretend I'm not a bit hurt. But I understand not everything is about me." He grinned and flopped on her couch like he lived there. Gilbert sat primly by his socked feet, which Raul lifted onto his lap.

"So what do I owe the pleasure?" Mia sighed as she sat across from them.

"We just wanted to see you."

"Jackie put you up to this, didn't she?"

"No, not at all. We've been wanting to stop by." Raul insisted. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm the family fuckup now. I can't show my face around them anymore."

"What are you talking about?" Raul chuckled.

"Bringing around these asshole dudes to family gatherings. Not a cute look."

"Mia, you're far from the family fuckup."

Mia sighed and shook her head.

"I think Rafael had that covered," Raul pointed out.

"Raul…"

"Maybe Rosa's second in line. Or me."

"What do you do that's so bad?"

"Mia," he said with sincerity, "...I'm gay."

She chuckled. "Oh please. No one cares."

"You can't tell me Grandma doesn't side eye me when I bring a guy over."

"I think you're imagining things. You're the family favorite."

"Fake it til you make it! Fake it, Mia."

She smiled. She remembered again how much she liked being around Raul, and she wondered why she thought she needed to shut him out. She did the same thing to him after Aaron broke up with her, and she hardly saw Raul for months after that. It touched her that he kept trying to call her after he found out Bill broke up with her, and that he was here now to give her some company. He really was a true friend, and a good cousin.

"Mia, I want to extend my deepest condolences to you for what my loutish cousin has done," Gilbert drawled.

"Thank you."

"He is my kin, and my friend, so I do feel a sense of loyalty towards him. But you are my friend as well, and I feel a kindred coupling between us. I hope that his actions don't sully your opinion of myself." He looked at her earnestly, genuinely hoping she didn't dislike him now.

"No, Gilbert, of course not. We're good."

"Splendid, I'm relieved to hear it. After all, it is to you I owe my heart…" he said to her, while looking lovingly down at Raul, who returned the expression.

Mia shrugged. "I just invited you both to the same place at the same time. Everything else was all you two."

"True enough, but you knew we would have kindled together… and you knew that after but one evening with me."

"Maybe I'm better at seeing it for other people than for myself," she said flatly. Gilbert recoiled slightly.

"I apologize, I'm not trying to rub our relationship in. I'm, awkwardly, trying to thank you...for introducing me to your cousin. And I apologize, again, about my cousin."

She felt bad for acting snappy. She was venting her emotions in the wrong way.

"Sorry, I know you're not. I'm glad you two are happy together."

"I really want to see you happy again, Mia," Raul said, in a heartfelt tone.

"I think those days are over."

"Don't say that. I felt that way, too. Many times. But now look where I am!" He smiled at Gilbert.

They talked for a little longer, mostly about Christmas coming next month. She hadn't given it any thought. She didn't have the energy to think about buying gifts. She didn't care anymore.

After they each give Mia a hug (Raul's a little tighter than what was comfortable) they departed into the night, and she was alone again. She felt especially exhausted now and welcomed the freedom of an empty house. She crawled into bed soon after, letting sleep put her out of her misery...at least until morning.