Ch. 32

As Kakashi and Naruto walked away from the barbershop, Naruto looked up at his freshly trimmed hair and said, "I think it's actually kinda growing on me…"

His hair still had that same spiky flair, but it was very noticeably shorter. It gave him a more mature and polished look as it stuck out of the top of his headband.

Kakashi looked at his hair and said, "Yeah, I think it looks pretty good too… and you look more mature like Tsunade wanted…"

Naruto looked forward and said, "Mission accomplished then."

Kakashi gave a slight nod as they kept walking in the direction of Ichiraku's.

As the two arrived at Ichiraku's, they found that Teuchi was the only one there. After the three exchanged greetings, Teuchi explained that Ayame was gathering ingredients for tomorrow. The two sat down then Naruto placed his order. He turned to Kakashi and said, "You're not eating?"

Kakashi sat down and pulled out Ichi Ichi paradise as he replied, "No, I already ate something."

Naruto gave a small shoulder shrug and sat down on Kakashi's left.

After a few moments of silence, Kakashi decided to break the ice. "So, you think you're ready for tomorrow?"

Naruto was now leaning over the table with his head resting on his hands. He thought to himself, then said in a low voice, "I think so…"

Kakashi kept reading his book, but said in an inquisitive voice, "It's not like you to be uncertain…"

Naruto thought to himself for a second, then said, "I don't know, it's just that I don't know what to expect..."

Kakashi slowly nodded, then said, "Yeah… I know the feeling… When I'm going on a mission and I don't know what to expect, I usually meditate for a while."

Naruto squinted his eyes and looked at Kakashi. He said in a semi-annoyed voice, "Yeah…I was gonna try to do that before I was dragged out of my house…"

Kakashi smirked and looked at a small watch he had on. 8:47 PM. He kept reading his book and said, "You'll still have time…"

Naruto gave a small eye squint and said, "Right…"

After a short pause, he asked, "Any other suggestions?"

Kakashi turned to Naruto and said, "Regarding how to prepare for tomorrow?" Naruto gave a small nod.

Kakashi tilted his head upwards, then put the hand that wasn't holding his book on his chin. He said in a pensive voice, "I can't really offer that much more than meditating. Most of the times, missions like these aren't predictable. It doesn't matter how long you prepare. You can never really be prepared because you don't know what's coming."

Naruto tilted his head to the side and said, "What does that mean?"

Kakashi looked at him and said, "It means that a lot of times, you'll prepare for things, and then find that the situation is different. For example, you could prepare for a tense meeting with Hikan tomorrow and find that he's in a relaxed mood. Or things could go exactly how you envisioned them. Basically, anything goes, but that's part of being a shinobi…"

Naruto looked down at the bar pensively and said, "So what do I do?"

Kakashi looked back down to his book, then said, "You can either try to prepare for everything or you can be ready to be unprepared. Or maybe a little bit of both…"

Naruto gave an inquisitive look and said, "Be ready to be unprepared?"

"Yeah. Sometimes if you try to prepare for everything, you still end up being unprepared for something. So an alternative is to be ready to be unprepared. Or in other words, be ready to adapt to any situation."

Naruto slowly nodded in understanding as he thought about Kakashi's suggestion. He said in a curious voice, "What did you mean by doing a little bit of both?"

Kakashi replied, "I mean that you could spend some time preparing for the most likely scenarios, and then some time preparing to adapt to any situation."

Naruto thought to himself and said, "Maybe I'll try that…"

After a few moments had passed, Teuchi brought out Naruto's order. Naruto thanked him, then said grace and started eating.

As Kakashi sat there reading from his book he decided to ask Naruto about something that was on his mind. He gave Naruto a quizzical stare and said, "Naruto-"

Naruto turned to him and replied with a simple, "Yeah."

Kakashi spoke in a voice that masked his lingering curiosity. "What were you going to ask me before all of this craziness with Hikan started?"

Naruto looked up as he tried to remember what Kakashi was talking about.

Kakashi wore a small smile as he thought about how Naruto was always so clueless. He slightly chuckled then said, "You were going to ask me something the other day, but Sakura came to get us because the encryption finished."

Naruto thought to himself for a moment, then said, "Oh yeah, I was about to ask you something wasn't I…"

Kakashi nodded and said, "Yeah, you were. I've actually been wondering what it was…"

Naruto thought about it, then said in a nonchalant voice, "It's not that important anymore." He proceeded to pick up his chopsticks and eat some more ramen.

Kakashi turned to Naruto, then gave him an eye squint and said, "Come on, Naruto. I've known you for a very long time. I can tell when you're lying…"

Naruto finshed eating the ramen in his mouth, then smirked and said, "Maybe I'll start wearing a mask like you, so that you can't tell…"

Kakashi smiled and said, "Ahhh. So you admit that you're lying then?..."

Naruto gave a small eyeroll and ate some more ramen.

Kakashi let out a slight chuckle and said, "It's fine. You don't have to tell me. I'll just… sit here… reading this book…for the 4th time….."

Naruto couldn't help but smile at Kakashi's mind games. He squinted at Kakashi from the corner of his eye and said, "Have you really read that book four times?"

Kakashi squinted back and said, "If I have, will you tell me what you were planning on asking me?"

Naruto started chuckling and said, "You're not usually so persistent Kakashi-sensei…"

Kakashi let out a small chuckle then fell silent.

After Naruto had finished his ramen, Kakashi closed his book and turned so that he was fully facing him. Naruto gave him a puzzled look as he waited to see what he would say.

Kakashi looked at him and said in a regretful voice, "I'm sorry, Naruto."

Naruto looked a little confused and asked, "For what?"

He had no idea what Kakashi had to be sorry for. The worst he had did throughout the night was coerce him into getting out of his apartment and harass him about the question he was going to ask. Surely he wasn't apologizing about those things.

Naruto said in a perplexed voice, "What do you have to be sorry for? I hope not for dragging me out of my apartment or harassing me about the question I was gonna ask you. To be honest, I needed to burn off some energy and I'm not mad at you for wanting to know what I was gonna ask. I'd be curious too."

Kakashi could tell that Naruto was genuinely confused. He let out a small smile and said, "No. It's not because of any of those things."

Naruto let out a small sigh of relief. He was hoping Kakashi wasn't feeling bad about anything that had happened throughout the night. It had all been for fun so he was really glad to hear that he wasn't. But now he was just left wondering what could Kakashi have to be sorry for. He said in a questioning voice, "What do you have to be sorry for Sensei?"

Kakashi smiled and said, "I'm sorry because I think I've been a little selfish."

Naruto gave him a puzzled look and said, "How come?"

Kakashi looked out towards the village and said, "It doesn't take a genius to guess that the question you were going to ask me was probably related to Sakura…"

Naruto let out a simple smile before Kakashi continued. "This thing with you and Sakura, I really wanted it to be resolved. Not only for your sakes, but for my sake. It hurt me as the leader of our team to see you guys in such a broken state."

After a short pause, Naruto let out a small smile and said, "So you worked overtime to try to help us out…"

Kakashi looked at Naruto and said, "Yeah. I think the problem is that by working overtime to try to fix things, I neglected how you guys were feeling in the process."

Naruto gave a small smile and said, "You don't have to apologize for that Sensei. You were just trying to help."

Kakashi looked back out into the village, then said, "Maybe... but sometimes having good intentions isn't enough..."

After a moment of silence, Naruto said, "It's funny how you can have all the right intentions and still do all the wrong things..." Kakashi smiled and said, "Yeah... That's a good observation."

As Naruto finished up his ramen, Kakashi turned serious and said, "I didn't only have selfish reasons for doing what I did though. I also had some selfless reasons for doing the things I did…"

Naruto raised an eyebrow and said, "What were they?..."

Kakashi let out a small smile, then looked down the dirt road and said, "Naruto, I basically watched you grow up before my eyes. You always had this bright, cheerful attitude. I'd only ever seen that attitude break a handful of times. Like when Sasuke left the village or when Jiraiya died…but you were always able to bounce back. You never forgot what had happened, but you were able to retain your joyful spirit through it all."

Naruto let out a small half-smile as he thought about the one he formerly called Pervy Sage.

After a few seconds, Kakashi turned to him and said, "That day when I saw what happened at the Valley, I knew you may never be the same...and that thought kinda scared me. Not only did that thought scare me, but as the years went by and you never recovered, I feared I was right."

Kakashi paused for a second, then said, "I started to grow more and more afraid that you'd turn out like me…"

After a short pause, Naruto gave him a confused look and said, "But you're a pretty cool, chill guy Sensei."

Kakashi paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "You only got to know me when I became your team leader. You never really knew who I was before…"

Naruto thought about it then realized Kakashi was right. He didn't really know much about Kakashi before he became their team leader. He had heard of him as the famed Copy Ninja of the Leaf but he didn't really know too much about his personality.

He shot him an inquisitive glance and said, "Then tell me what you were like..."

Kakashi paused, then looked back out into the village and said, "In one word. Sad. I'm the only member of my team still alive, Naruto. That fact took it's toll on me… I became distant, detached, cold… Living without family or friends or comrades...it's not really living. It's kinda just...existing..."

After a short pause, Kakashi said, "I didn't want to see the same thing happen to you... That's another reason why I tried so hard to help you guys fix things…"

Naruto paused for a moment, then said in a solemn voice, "That makes sense…"

After a moment of silence, Kakashi said in a serious voice, "Naruto, the biggest reason for my efforts to help you fix things were for you."

As Naruto looked at him inquisitively, he continued, "Right now, you're 20 years old, so you're around the age where you're becoming the person that you're going to be for the rest of your life. You have extraordinary abilities and an extraordinary mind, among other things. The person you become, whoever he is, he's gonna change this world..."

Kakashi looked out into the distance with a look of seriousness and said, "Growing up is kinda like being a tree. When a tree is young, you can kinda lead it to grow in one direction. You can do that by tying it to a stick to ensure it grows vertically or by making sure it only gets sunshine from one direction or by doing a variety of other things. But when that tree is grown, you can't really make it do anything anymore. It's become the tree that it's going to be for the rest of it's life. It's not impossible to change after…it's just very hard to."

Kakashi wore a small smile and said, "At your age, it's kinda like you're becoming your own tree, so I was afraid you'd turn into the sad, depressed Naruto forever…"

Naruto looked at Kakashi reflectively and wore a semi-shocked expression. He didn't really know what to say. He knew his attitude affected the people around him, but he never knew he was impacting people this much. This was one of the rare times when he saw Kakashi showing genuine emotion. He was used to just seeing smiles and smirks from him, but this was different. The conversation they were having showed that he obviously cared about how Naruto was doing. He knew Kakashi cared, but he would've never thought his attitude change had bothered him that much. If Kakashi, who rarely showed emotion, was feeling this way, just how bad were other people feeling. He thought to himself of how his attitude had also been bothering Kurama and felt even worse. The whole village was probably feeling the same way and he never knew it. He never really thought about how badly his attitude might be affecting other people. He felt himself getting a little sick as he thought about it. His dream was to be the future Hokage, but who would want a future Hokage who just made them sad…

Kakashi looked at Naruto and noticed his face was now full of guilt. The last thing he wanted was to send him on a guilt trip, so he said in a cheerful voice, "Don't worry, Naruto. You've already taken care of my concerns."

Naruto looked at Kakashi with a semi-stunned look and said in a confused voice, "How?..."

Kakashi smiled and said, "Well, you're a lot more like you're old self now; I'm seeing that sad, depressed attitude less and less; and on top of that, Sasuke's back. So what I'm saying is that I think you're healing."

Naruto thought about what Kakashi had said for a few moments, then said, "Maybe…"

After a few more moments of silence, Naruto said in a solemn voice, "But what about me and Sakura?... Have I taken care of all your concerns in that department?..."

Kakashi replied, "I'm not gonna lie and say that I wouldn't prefer for you to fix things with Sakura, but from what I've heard, you guys have settled for being just comrades. If things have to stay that way, then I could find a way to live with that. I was there at the Valley of the End, so I know it's gotta be tough for you to even be around her and I can understand your inability to just let it go. I'm just glad that you guys can at least talk to each other."

Kakashi looked at Naruto from head to toe then said, "So, all in all, my conclusion is that you're gonna be ok..."

Naruto looked away and gave a small nod as he rested his head on the table.

Kakashi studied Naruto and noticed he was still wearing a sad expression. He looked at him for a little longer then said, "What is it?..."

Naruto kept his head on the bar and simply replied, "It's nothing…"

Kakashi squinted his eyes then said, "When people say something is nothing, it's usually everything…" Naruto sat there with his head resting on his hands and remained silent.

Kakashi noted Naruto's silence and said, "It's ok if you don't wanna talk about it."

There was a seriousness in Kakashi's voice. No games, no ploys, just the voice of a friend.

Naruto was sure that Kakashi knew he was thinking about Sakura, so there was no point trying to hide it. He could use some advice anyway.

He let out a small sigh and said, "I'm not sure what I want Kakashi…"

Kakashi let out a small chuckle and said, "Life makes you think a lot harder than usual doesn't it."

After a short pause, Kakashi said, "Life is complicated, don't view every problem as black and white. Sometimes you have to wander out into the gray areas to find answers. There are no easy answers to the questions you have."

Naruto let out a sigh, then said, "Every time I get close to her, it just reminds me of what she did…"

Kakashi looked up as he thought to himself. After a few moments, he raised his finger and said, "Then think about everything she's done, not just the bad. Don't let your mind stop at what she did at the Valley. Think about how she's tried to fix things, think about the jumpsuit she made for you, think about the fact that she stayed by your side waiting for you to wake up, not by Sasuke's. I'm sure if you think harder, you'll find that there's a lot of good that she's done too."

Kakashi paused then said, "Sometimes people do terrible things, but it doesn't always mean they're terrible people..."

Naruto nodded slowly and said, "Thanks Sensei…"

Kakashi smiled and said, "Don't sweat it. Now we better get you home so you can get ready for your mission tomorrow." Naruto nodded and stood up, then the two started walking towards his apartment.

Author's Note

PLEASE feel free to leave reviews on this story. I do enjoy reading reviews and if I see good ideas as to where the story can go, I do listen to them. Reviews are not only very encouraging but they also help me get better. Be sure to drop a follow and a favorite because I will be updating this story consistently. This story will be completed. Believe it!