Nepstation Intro
(Current Music: Nepstation Theme)
"You're watching… Sorry, reading Nepstation! I'm your host, Neptune! And with me today is our protagonist, Koei Tech!"
"Uh… The fuck?"
"Don't worry about the logistics, this is separate from the main story! All of this isn't even canon!"
"All right, but why are we here in this hellscape?"
"Easy! To thank the readers for getting this story to over 20 followers and over 2,500 views!"
"That's uh… Not really an achievement? I'm sorry, still getting over this "non-canon" bullshit."
"It is for a first time story writer! Well, on this website at least. Stop being a debbie downer, you're allowed to be OOC for once, be happy!"
"Fine, fine. Thanks for reading, reviewing and favoriting… Whatever those mean. Why are we even doing this, I thought we left on a cliffhanger?"
"Well… Why are we?"
One of the producers runs into frame, gives Neptune a piece of paper and runs out again.
"Ah, it seems the author wanted to celebrate by putting out a short "thank you" between updates. How nice of him!"
"Wouldn't it be better if this was in the Author's Notes of the next chapter?"
"Huh, you're right. Wait, we're cutting into the Author's Notes! Shoot! Best wrap this up then! I'm Neptune…"
"And I'm Koei. Thanks for uh, reading? Fuck, I'm too sober for this."
"NO DRINKING ON SET!"
"YOU'RE NOT MY BOSS!"
"I AM ON NEPSTATION, IT'S IN THE NAME YOU ALCOHOLIC!"
(Nepstation theme fades out as the two bicker before the lights go out)
A/N: What a waste of page space. Anyway, mailbag time!
Blaze1212 (Hello again!): Koei will have his time yet. I mean, he managed to last until Heavy Lobster was destroyed and a few moments afterward to pass out, that's an improvement! He also helped, rather than just piss it off. It's that gradual climb towards Kirito levels of bullshit plot armor, you know?
And arigato for the feedback on the title change! I had the idea like a week ago, played around it for a bit then went on that 2 day writing bender, so it took a bit to implement.
Alfamega20000: It wasn't until I read this that I realized that I was careening into the anime canon. I assure you, this was not intentional. I just prefer Neptune's Victory design and wanted to implement Anonydeath as a recurring antagonist.
This brings up a good point. (Ah shit, here we go again with the ranting. - Neptune) I have three goals in mind when writing this;
Make a somewhat entertaining story. (I hope I'm doing that at least.)
Write a decently compelling and relatable protagonist who learns and grows along the way. (Call that a maybe?)
Write an original plot and not just rehash one of the Neptunia games or the anime. Yeah, sorry if you wanted Koei vs Re;birth 2 or the Anime, it's not going to happen. Why? Partly because if you haven't noticed already, I've been making my own spin on the Neptuniaverse (As stated way back in the A/N for Chapter 1, this was my goal from the beginning) and partly because two of the stories that inspired me did this already. (HyperDementia by Shattersoul and A Shattered Reality by 0n3dgeGaming, respectively. Pretty good, do check them out!) and want to forge my own path (Much akin to Neptunia: Firewall by Always Wanting Moar, also a good fic! If you have time and like self-inserts, do give them a read and tell them Hclegend sent you!)
If that's enough for you to stop reading, I won't stop you. I'll try my best to bring my own spin to this crazy fuckin' universe, though. (Side note: I really like how I've implemented the UI Gloves as both an explanation of how inventory works and as a power that can be "disabled" as to not make it an easy way out. Handy all in one plot device.)
EnderSoul1401: Awesomesauce, looks like it'll stay! And yes, RNG Heart herself came down to bless my fingers. I won't say who that's referring to in particular, but I have Super Neptunia RPG on the mind as I finished it today as of writing this A/N. I won't let it influence anything outside these A/Ns though. And if it does, I'll make it as subtle as possible. SNRPG doesn't deserve to be spoiled, at least not yet.
Szmtex: Maybe "A head" was a bit of an exaggeration when talking about height. When I imagine Koei, I think about what, 150/155cm? So taller than Neptune and Nepgear (Barely!) but still shorter than Noire and Vert.
I'm not good with heights. It's to do with… certain things.
SaltyBooks: Take it at your own pace, I'm a lot more… Prolific than most authors, on account of having no life.
As for the Aya reference… I just kinda googled reporters in video games and found her name. Frank West was too well, Western so that one had to do. I love Touhou music, but I can't play bullet hell for shit.
Oh and thanks for the feedback, this new title will certainly stay! As for Koei… Well, read on~.
Phew, chunky A/N this time. Just delaying the inevitable at this point. Alright, now back to your regularly scheduled bullshit! Ciao!
"It's quite simple. I want you… To bring peace to Gamindustri."
Ah. That's perfectly simple. Perfectly reasonable. I stand there, frozen for a few moments. By the time my brain rebooted from that fatal error, words were already coming out of my mouth.
The 5 words I'd come to sorely regret not 5 seconds later.
"Sure, that sounds perfectly reasonable!" No sarcasm, no sense of "The fuck do you think SIMPLE means", none of that. Pure, unadulterated enthusiasm.
"Wonderful!" Histoire clapped her hands together while I silently suffered my latest mental breakdown. "I'll let CPU Purple Heart take it from here, then. I have about 3 hours of paperwork to catch up on. Farewell!" And thus, Histoire fucked right out of the room mid-mental breakdown, leaving the CPU of Planeptune to explain my quest to me.
Purple Heart herself was pretty similar to Noire in the CPU looks department, though the design wasn't as clean-cut to account for the trademark colours of Planeptune. Twin pigtails went all the way down to her uncovered thighs, her arms were strangely completely covered and her torso was covered in intricate Planeptune zest, up to and including her breastplate.
And what did I notice? The N on her collar and the twin balls on top of her head. Why does that look strangely familiar.
"Koei Tech, I believe that you have met at least one other CPU before, correct?" Her voice commanded authority and respect, but wasn't haughty like Black Heart or aggressive like White Heart, though she seemed perfectly capable in a fight herself.
"I mean, maybe?" I'm going to be honest here, she's intimidating as all hell. The combination of her graceful yet powerful form and the giant fucking purple and black Planeptune katana she held onto was enough to at least keep me from speaking out of turn.
Purple Heart's power light eyes softened. "Koei, don't worry about if you have or haven't. If you have, it'll just make the process easier."
Her softer tone did calm me a little. Steeling my resolve, I stared right back into her eyes. "I have met CPU Green Heart, otherwise known as Vert, my lady. Both IF and Nepgear can confirm our mutual friendship."
The unnamed CPU to the right shot a glance at me for a moment. She looked familiar, but I couldn't quite tell, at least not while focusing on Purple Heart.
"Oh, my darling little sister Nepgear met Green Heart? I hoped she was alright in Leanbox, then. She hasn't really been outside of Planeptune before."
"No, Lady Purple Heart. She was as quiet as a mouse and even helped during the 5pb. scandal." At this point I was gaining confidence, but still wanted to remain respectful. This was my last chance to make a good first impression on a CPU, after all.
"Oh? Nepgear, you didn't tell me about this." Purple Heart turned towards the other CPU, who was sweating bullets at this point. Hold on a second...
"Wait, Nepgear's a CPU too?" I exclaimed, earning stares from both CPUs in the room. I must admit, while the power symbol irises are cool, they make intimidating stares.
"Well of course, that's why I trusted my friend IF with her safety while she attended the concert. The fact that I heard nothing about this scandal, though…"
"Eep!" "Nepgear" backed away a bit, her otherwise intimidating CPU form looking far less so in front of her judgmental sister. She served as a nice contrast to Purple Heart, though, her main colour being white with lilac markings rather than black with purple. Her hair was certainly lighter than her human form and her dpad clip was replaced with a… mechanical thing. Though she still had long flowing hair, the gloves (Though lacking the more claw-like design of her sister) and a breastplate.
Yeah, turns out Nepgear has tits. Maybe the sailor dress just hid them better than Noire's normal outfit?
"Well, I suppose I can deal with that later. For now Koei, I must be frank with you. I tire of the Console War. Day in, day out, fighting for every last scrap of share so I can serve my people is no way to live, isn't it? Such inequality in this world is repulsive."
"I can see that." I agreed, letting her get on with her monologue.
"It would just be nice if I could visit other nations, or reveal my darling little Nepgear's true form to the world, but alas such things can't happen in the midst of war."
"Nepgear did a good… Decent job of hiding her true identity." I went from exaggerating to remembering her half-truths and misdirects. "Say, NepG. Didn't you say it was bad to lie?"
Nepgear for her part looked even more flustered, despite being someone who could probably use that gunblade to either blast my head off or slice me in half at any moment.
"My, my." Purple Heart sighed. "I thought I raised her better. Still, this information can't exactly be public knowledge. Not even IF knows of Nepgear's true nature. I told her she was my sister, but she doesn't know about the transformation… I think." Purple Heart narrowed her eyes at Nepgear, who at this point was in a ball muttering "I'm so sorry!" in shame.
"Alright Violet, calm down. You'll scar the poor girl if you keep on keeping on with that." I tried to lift some pressure off of Nepgear, only for Purple Heart to turn to me with a glare.
"Did you just say `Violet`? As in the French word for Purple?"
Uh oh… "Umm, yes? Sorry for assuming? It's just been a pattern so far and…"
Purple Heart facepalmed. "Good grief, every time with you people." She then disappeared in a bright light, only to be replaced by… Oh god no.
"I'm Neptune you dong! I thought you gathered that by me calling Nep Jr. "My darling little sister"! Have you even played a Neptunia game before?"
Aw shit, here we go again.
"Agh, I'll yell at you later!" She mock threatened. Honestly I think she was serious, it's just that her tone took a 180 after de-HDDing (Untransformed?) making the serious tone crash like my brain cells after I found out that these two are somehow the same person.
"And for the record, I'm Planeptune's CPU Candidate, Purple Sister. But I prefer Nepgear!" Nepgear had changed back to her normal form, which really showed how similar her forms really were.
"So uh… World peace?" I tried getting back on track with the derailed conversation.
"Ah, yes yes. You fancy going around to the other Nations, getting them to stand down on this war thingy? Really cuts into my gaming time and Histy gets all pissty when I try to slack off from work, plus I'm too good and beat Nep Jr. all the time so I get bored so some new gaming buddies would be nice hey Koei do you like pudding?" This girl had one hell of a mouth.
"Pudding, the custardy stuff, right? It's nice."
"Then we're gonna be great friends!" Neptune grabbed my arm and raised it, before slapping it with her free one. "Woo! High 5!"
Even in human form she was pretty strong, maybe it was for the best that I accidentally made her go human just in case I did piss her off.
"Well, I guess I can bring peace to Gamindustri tomorrow." I shrugged. "No idea why you'd trust me of all people, the alcoholic asshole arsonist."
Neptune shrugged back. "You're the protagonist dude, you gotta do something to prove your worth."
…
What?
"What?" My inner monologue matched my lip flappy words for once. Koei Tech is confused and Koei Tech is about to punch someone in confusion.
"Neptune, don't be so uh… meta around the newbie, I don't think he gets what you're referring to." Nepgear stage whispered into her sister's ear, though I still heard it. What is meta? Is this some form of inside joke? Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
"Alright, alright. Tone it down with the memes, Koei." Neptune interrupted my inner monologue again. "You have an actual plot point to complete now, you can't just stand around all day, cynically describing everything in vain attempts of comedy. Go on, get going."
"Uhh, Neptune? It's like, 7 at night. Do the subways even operate at this time?" I questioned her, not her actions for once.
"Huh, yeah. Time is a factor. Alright, alright. Starting tomorrow your glorious crusade begins! For the glory of Planeptune! NEPU VULT! NEPU VULT! NEPU VULT!..."
I left the room at this point. Neptune's clearly insane, concussion or no and I needed some fresh air and time to… Contemplate.
Walking around the Basilicom, I eventually found a room that led off onto a balcony outside. Letting the cool and crisp air cool hit my face, I leaned on the guard railing and just had a moment of peace. It was… Nice. After how hectic the last few days have been it was just nice to have this thinking time. What am I going to do to convince the other CPUs to stand down in the Console War? Sure, Noire has readily admitted she didn't want to fight, as did Vert, but that's just talk. Would they actually step down if given the chance?
And what about that robot? He was out to see me dead, despite the fact that I had no real interest in Noire. Speaking of, what were those feelings I had when I looked into IFs eyes?
"Hey, Protag! I wasn't done talking to you!" Oh thank god, those thoughts were getting overwhelming for a second. Neptune came up beside me and leaned on the balcony as well, giving me a stern stare.
"Sorry Nutjob, but I needed some time to think. At least I thought I did until I thought about it then realized I was overthinking just about everything." Maybe I still have that concussion…
"First of all, it's N-E-P-T-U-N-E. Second of all…"
Silence.
"Well?" I prod her, hoping to keep this awkward silence minimal.
"You're the protagonist, Koei. It's inevitable that you'll face some struggles." Neptune turned towards the night sky of Planeptune, lit up by the various buildings, her tone oddly serious. "When you've been the hero in as many versions of Gamindustri as I have, you just realize that everything will be alright once you embrace your destiny."
"Pretty deep shit. Especially for the motormouth." I agreed while throwing a quick barb to ease the tension a slight bit. "But do you really think I have it in me? Look at what happened today, I had to be bailed out by you and NepG…"
"And? Any friend of Nep Jr. is a friend of mine. Friends don't let friends be mutilated by giant robot lobsters." Neptune mused, still staring at the night sky.
"I suppose. How did you get to Emerald Mountain so fast, anyway?" I never really thought about it, but between the last thing I said to Nepgear and the Violet Buster, it couldn't have been more than 20 to 30 seconds.
"Oh that? I was following you." Of course she's a stalker. "Hey, I gotta look out for Nep Jr. you know? I can't do all the work after all."
I suppose that makes sense. "Yeah, alright. Seems that you and IF have a penchant for stalking, but I'll let it go this time." I turned towards the CPU. "Thanks Neptune."
Neptune looked me in the eyes before shooting a thumbs up. "No problemo, Koei. You'll get to my level eventually." And with that, she walked back inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
You know, the crazy might be rubbing off, or it could be the concussion…
But I think she had a point.
Good fucking lord I'm agreeing with the nutjob. I am clearly too sober for this shit.
Still, I had some time. Opening up the UI gloves, I went to call Noire. I wanted to see if she still stood by what she said. Also after that whole hacking thing earlier today, I needed to see if she was alright.
A few moments later and Noire appeared on the screen, slightly dishevelled but none the worse for wear. "Oh, Koei… Today's been awful, so please make this quick." She sounded tired.
"Same Noire. Just wanted to see if you were alright after the servers went down. I was in a pinch earlier and couldn't access my inventory."
"Oh that? Some pink robot managed to bring down the entire system for a few hours. It also turns out he had a camera in my bedroom. Could you believe that? At least they had the decency to leave my bathroom alone, ugh. Still, me and Uni have been working on it for hours and it only got fully fixed a few minutes ago with all the security patches I put in."
Yikes, sounds like a big outage. Wait, Uni?
"Uni?"
"Oh, that's just my uh, security manager, forget about that. You were in a pinch, right? I mean your face says it better than anything. Looks like you got smacked by a superheated lobster claw."
"That is exactly what happened, shockingly." I deadpanned, before the sound of a door opening came on the other end.
"Uh, big sis? I got your tea as you asked…" The feed was clear as day, so I could see the new girl who walked in. She was similar to Noire initially, black hair, red eyes, black clothing, but she wore a much more traditional dress than her "sister", along with having shorter hair to at least make them somewhat different.
"U-Uni! Thank you but uh… I'm in the middle of a confidential business call!"
"She isn't!" I shout, trying to lure the girl closer. That sounded wrong. What I meant was to get her to come in so I could talk to her. Yeah, like that. Nothing creepy…
"U-um… Okay." "Uni" stepped in, walking towards Noire (and the camera) with a tea tray in hand, filled with tea accessories.
"Tea, Noire? Thought you'd be a coffee kind of person. Like, black coffee? Black Heart, black coffee? Eh? Ehhhh?"
Noire was unamused. "It's evening. Normal people don't drink coffee in the evening unless they're planning for a late night. Furthermore, your joke sucked." Noire deadpanned, taking a sip of her prepared tea. "This on the other hand Uni, is wonderful, thank you."
Uni seemed to blush at the praise. I felt a pain in my heart. She seemed so happy from that faint bit of praise. Agh, being distracted by the cute!
"R-right, Uni. How long have you and Noire known each other for?"
"Oh… Since yesterday morning. About 11am?" If I had a drink I would have spat it out.
"Excuse me? You were born yesterday?" I was shocked, honestly. Sure, Nepgear was young and naive, but she at least looked 18! Well, 16 maybe. Regardless.
"Kei mentioned something about CPU birth control. I probably should have listened to her." Noire muttered loud enough for me to hear. I lost it at this point and fell onto the stone floor. The pain of falling on my fatigued body didn't detract from how out of left field that line was. "IT'S NOT FUNNY, DAMMIT!"
"YES IT IS HOLY FUCK!" I yell back, convulsing uncontrollably on the hard ground. After a few minutes, I calmed down and managed to lift myself back up. So worth the pain.
"A-anyway Noire, you still good on the whole "peace between CPUs" thing?" I didn't want to linger that topic any longer, lest I start questioning the mechanics of goddess pregnancy.
"Hmm? Oh, that. Sure, sure." Noire waved casually, seeming glad to move on as well. "I assume you're making progress towards that goal?"
I nodded. "Yep. Nep- Purple Heart is on board, Green Heart probably is…"
"That leaves White Heart, huh?" Noire asked. "Good luck."
"Thanks. Talk to you later." I waved goodbye before ending the call. Breathing in the crisp air a final time, I turned around to see Nepgear standing there.
"You uh… Heard everything, didn't you NepG?" With a simple nod, my fate was sealed. "Well, that was the thing I wanted to tell you earlier. Now excuse me, I have some sorrows to drown." I quickly made my way back into the Basilicom, then down the elevator, out the door and to the nearest place that sold booze.
As it turned out, destroying a giant mechanical lobster and about 40 of its compatriots leads to a lot of moolah. All in all I had over 10,000 Credits in my account, which while it did include IF's generous donation, still meant I earned 7,500 in a single quest! Probably more bait from the robot.
Oh well. Along with purchasing alcohol (There was no beer, so I bought some rum, god help my liver) along with a new set of clothing, not only because I had been in the same outfit since arriving in Lastation, but because purple is a great colour and admittedly rather fetching on my increasingly less nerdy body.
Returning to the Basilicom (The guards were informed beforehand and I had a stamp put on the back of my hand, just like in a concert.) and heading back upstairs, the place was relatively quiet.
"Goddangit, this final boss is way too cheap! Nep Jr., kick its butt for me!" Relatively. Sighing in resignation of the hellish noises I would have to endure, I took out my rum and looked for an acceptable thing to mix it with. The obvious ingredient was water, but that wouldn't really work and would probably taste awful. There was juice, I guess, but the tang of the juice would probably overwrite the taste of rum (I want to feel like I'm drinking, dammit!) and there wasn't even any Duck Tear Popper.
"Oh, Koei! What are you doing?" Histoire asked from behind me, causing me to nearly soak the floor in shattered glass and spilled rum.
"Just looking for something to make a cocktail out of. You got any Duck Tear Popper?
Histoire hung her head in an apologetic manner. "We had to ban that after Neptune drank a whole case and didn't sleep for a week. However, I do have an alternative solution if you would like a suggestion on how to self-poison yourself."
Harsh wording, but I was willing to listen. "Go on then."
Histoire floated over to the fridge, opening up to reveal what a scientist would call a metric fuck ton of pudding invading the fridge, completely filling it out aside from one shelf that had everything else in it. That Neptune was serious about pudding.
"You could use some of this pudding to create a cocktail that would suit your tastes. We also need to get rid of this pudding, so help yourself if you feel peckish." Histoire added with a smile. I obliged, grabbing a package of gelatin goodness out, before finding a glass and sliding the treat in there. After this, I filled up the glass with rum, causing both to mix surprisingly well.
Author's Note: Look I don't have the time, rum or pudding to science this out. Let's just pretend that this works for the sake of a gag.
Also don't mix pudding and rum. You're not Neptune, the diabetes is not worth it. Koei is a professional alcoholic on a closed course, do not try this at home.
Hclegend
Finding a spoon to further mix the ingredients, I eventually took a breath before taking a large drink of this ungodly mess.
…
…
…
Well I didn't die, so this drink is a success. Honestly I really should have seen this coming, rum goes well with sweet things while having its own kick that certainly felt like this was bad for me. Perfect.
"Not a bad drink Histoire. I'mma call this the Koei Killer Kombo." Histoire facepalmed with her small fairy hand as we both realized the connotations of that acronym. Maybe work on that name a little more before I roll it out to the public.
"Oi! Get off me pudding ya puddin' plundering pirate, you!" Neptune yelled at me, clearly sick of her game's shit and wanting a pudding break.
"There's like, 50 more in the fridge you sugar junkie. If you had some fucking Duck Tear Popper I'd be using that instead. But you're an addict so neither of us can have nice things." Taking a drink of the concoction, I tasted the sweet sweet irony of those words. And pudding.
"Oh you heard about the Great Nepathon of 2015? 'Tis a sordid tale of love and loss, swords and souls, gods and goddesses-"
"Don't care. I'm stealing more pudding for my Koei Kombos." I reached into the fridge and grabbed a stack of pudding to pair with my alcohol, then promptly fucked right off to my prepared room.
"Fine, but you'd better not trigger any death flags with your alcoholism!" Neptune yelled at me as I left her to do her Neptune things. How Planeptune had shares at all with that nutter as CPU was beyond me.
THe rest of the evening was thankfully uneventful. I drank, surfed the Internep and eventually went to sleep once I felt my eyes start to go on a magical journey without my input. It's been a long, long day, maybe it is about time I passed out.
Ah, fuck why do I feel like I got hit by a truck… AGAIN.
Looking around, I noticed that for one thing that I acquainted myself with the cozy floor of the basilicom bedroom, my pants were missing and I had somehow finished only half of the bottle before the alcohol overwhelmed me. There were also pudding cups everywhere, like some sort of mass pudding genocide happened.
I think Neptune would be proud of me for that metaphor. And or the mass pudding killing spree. Whatever. Taking a few minutes to ensure my clothes were and all my extremities still attached, I cleaned up my mess like the good alcoholic I was.
Gracefully stumbling out of the room and into a nearby wall, I smelled food. Good food at that. Must consume. Trying to look at the very least presentable (and failing), I walked into the room where the world famous Koei Kombo was born, Nepgear was cooking pancakes, it seemed.
"Oh, good morning Koei!" Nepgear greeted happily, which was nice. You're up surprisingly early, because Neptune told me you went to go "make sweet love to a bottle of rum and half my damn pudding", so I didn't expect you to be up at this time."
"Fucking weird metaphor aside, Nutjob had a point. What time is it anyway…" I check my watch. 8am? Fuuuuck. "If you don't mind NepG, I'mma make use of your kettle. And I don't mean sticking my dick in it, despite what your sister thinks I do when I'm alone, I'm not that depraved."
And make use of that kettle I did. One tea bag, some water and a splash of milk for one Koei Hangover KOer. Otherwise known as a cup of tea. Nothing fancy. Just tea.
Nepgear for her part, was still cooking pancakes and seemed pretty good at it. "Something you do often, NepG?" I strike up a conversation while waiting for the tea bag's juices to leak out.
"Hmm? Oh, I make Neptune breakfast, since otherwise she'd just eat pudding all the time. That and I don't mind cooking, it gives me something to do in the morning!"
"Makes sense." I mutter, taking the teabag out and placing it into the nearby bin. "I mean she's a CPU, her diet shouldn't matter too much, right?" I honestly don't know enough about CPU biology.
"Better safe than sorry, I Guess." Nepgear shrugged. These goes my answer. "Give Neptune a minute, she'll smell pancakes and be out like a ricochet. She does love my pancakes~." Nepgear seemed proud of her cooking at least.
"Any other hobbies, then?" I try to continue the conversation to stop this from getting weird.
"Oh I love technology!" I literally saw her eyes light up when she said that word. "Robots, machines, weapons, anything that has to do with technology and I'll all over it!"
"Huh. Good to know. I think your pancake's starting to burn, by the way." I pointed towards the rapidly immolating breakfast while Nepgear quickly took her pan off the heat with a panicked "Thanks!", meanwhile I took my cup of tea to the table and waited for my tea to cool while browsing the new articles.
More fake CPUs spotted?
Along with recent rumors of a not very Purple Heart looking CPU flying across Planeptune, there have also been rumors of similar beings in both Lastation and Lowee. Though Lowee citizens may have mistaken this fake for their patron CPU due to her assets. Or lack thereof, the dumb cu-
Editor's Note: The user responsible has been banned from submitting articles. We apologise for any distress caused by our lack of fact checking,
Joseph Joestar, Editor in Chief of the Gameindustri News Network.
I had to stifle a laugh at the article being cut off mid sentence like that. It was so sudden and out of left field. Thanks, Joseph!
Lowee Back In the War?
After multiple weeks of a downwards spiral of shares, Lowee is finally getting back on track with their Share count, with Lady White Heart leading the charge with an incredible rescue of several citizens from a Turtle King who had been known for kidnapping blonde women. When asked, White Heart said this:
"I'm never giving up the Console War. I was the first one out there making shares and kicking ass, and I will win the console war! You hear me, Thunder Tits? I will kick your fucking ass you wh-"
The interviewer proceeded to back away from the angry ranting goddess at this point. Needless to say that Lowee won't be backing down any time soon. Seems that despite the cool weather, things are about to heat up!
Aya Shameimaru
Her again, huh? She's good at this, not going to lie. Also this really was weird how I technically did plan on going to Lowee on the same day that Blanc starts getting Shares again. Of course nothing can be easy.
"I smell pancakes~!" And here comes Nutjob to make my day even better, with her happy-go-lucky attitude and "meta" humor. Thankfully she ignored me and went straight for the puffy pancakes provided by her perfect sister.
Of course this left me with the situation of what I was going to eat. Oh wait. Getting up and grabbing a plate, I sat back down before summoning some leftovers. Thankfully the storage server seemed to put items in stasis, keeping food relatively fresh for several days. Not only was this convenient, as I had plenty of leftovers from the buffet in Leanbox, this also explained why the general store could sell "freshly made" food despite there being no form of viable kitchen anywhere near the general stores. What a society this place is.
For what it was worth, the pizza was almost as good as it was when it was fresh. It having time to cool certainly took away from the orgasmic quality, but it was still pretty good. The Nep sisters for their part, just stayed silent as they ate their own breakfast, giving the table an air of tranquility before the oncoming storm. It was eerie.
"Oh, Koei! I didn't expect you awake so early." Histoire greeted from behind me again. She has a habit of appearing from nowhere. "And a good morning to you too Neptune and Nepgear, but I need to borrow Koei for a moment. Would you mind?"
"Of course not." I obliged, following the book fairy back into the weird void room where we met originally. Even in the daytime the room had no windows to speak of. It was eerie. Again.
"As I got caught up in the backlog yesterday, I forgot to talk to you about… Your identity." Histoire started.
"Oh? Am I some sort of destined hero that the prophecy foretold? Do I have some form of special power that grants me the ability to become a CPU? Am I the Deity of Sin reincarnated into human form with no memories, given a second chance to make things right?"
"Uh… None of that. In all my research, the only thing remotely unique or interesting about you is that you are not of this world. At least when we're not talking about your… Interesting personality."
Well shit. "Confirmation is nice, however depressing reality is. You want anything else, flying book slut?"
Histoire glared at me for a moment before her face softened. "Yes, here." She pulled a card that was roughly half her size out from… somewhere and handed it to me. "This is an official Planeptune Staff ID. You're welcome here anytime."
Oh. "Thanks, Histoire." I put the card in my inventory. Don't want to lose it. "I'll take advantage of that. For now though, I guess this is goodbye."
"Yes. I still have roughly three days of work to catch up with. Farewell." I walked out of the void room and took the elevator out of the Basilicom.
Looking up to the ivory and violet towers of Planeptune, I took a deep breath.
It finally felt like I was about to go on a quest.
Vrrrrrrm, vrrrrm, vrrrm.
Son of a… Ruining the moment, much. I was so petty that I didn't even use the video call feature. "Koei's Krematorium, you kill them, we grill them."
"I knew you were an arsonist." IF's voice mocked from across the line. My heart fluttered for a moment.
"Whaddup then, Stalker?" I kicked off the conversation with a bang, trying to hide my brief moment of vulnerability, even if she couldn't see my face.
"Just wanted to tell you that my days of stalking you are over." What? "My last job was simply getting you to the Planeptune Basilicom. Now that I've done that, I'm going back to regular Guild work. We might run into each other again at some oint, though."
"I see." I mutter uncharacteristically. Why did I feel so devastated by this news? I didn't feel the same for anyone else, so why her?
"Koei? Are you alright?" IF asked in a worried tone. "You sound down about something."
I wanted to say nothing. I wanted to simply chalk it up to being in a weird mood. I couldn't. My mind wanted to simply ditch the idea, but my heart…
"IF… Do you think that… We have a connection?" My heart already answered for me. Fuck.
"..."
Ah shit, ah fuck, I went headfirst and now I'm going to hit the deep end of the pool along with the goddamn tiles.
"Well… Remember when I said I wasn't into guys?" I didn't. "It was… Kind of… A lie…"
Oh. That changes everything. *Huh. Then if we have any free time later down the line… Would you like to go-"
"No dates. We can go for a drink. I know a place." IF stopped me from offering a lovely beachside walk. Nah I'm kidding, I was going to suggest that too.
"Sounds good. Just call me whenever, you have my number… Somehow." We didn't do that, did we?
"We did that back in Leanbox. Plus, since we're apparently drinking buddies now, you can justify having the number of your friend who is also a girl in there, right?"
I visibly blushed. Really glad I didn't use the video mode now. "Y-yeah. Catch you later."
"Later." Beep
Did… Did I just ask a girl out on a date? The actual fu-
The next train to Lastation will be departing soon.
No time to ponder, I've a train to catch! To Lowee!
As was the theme, the trip to Lowee was entirely uneventful. But it did feel nice to be back in the Nation I started in again, stronger, with more of a foothold in the world and three of four goddesses befriended. For once, backtracking didn't feel like backtracking.
That and being in Central Lowee rather than in Toadstool Town gave this "same, but different" feeling. Taking my jacket out of my inventory, I flew the proverbial Planeptune flag loud and proud. Most people really didn't care thankfully, as this was my only intact jacket.
Wandering around the bustling city, I saw my goal; the Balisicom shining like the jewel it was nearby. Of course, walking straight in wasn't an option, as Blanc would surely remember my lovely personality and kick my ass. After the incident with Noire, I did not want to fuck with a CPU again.
My thoughts were interrupted by the yelling of a familiar thug. "Come on kid, stop struggling or I'll have to make you bleed more!"
Running towards the source of the noise down a back alley, Linda was holding a child hostage. The child herself was covered head to toe in blue, accented by white and pink. A familiar cap adorned her brown hair covered head, matching her steel-blue eyes. She certainly looked like a native, with the amount of coverage she had, including snow boots and tights to make sure she didn't get cold. The only other notable feature was the staff she held, which had a dogoo on the top. Some sort of mage?
Gah, I'm monologuing again. "Drop the kid, Linda."
Linda rolled her eyes. "You again? Well, you won't be throwing wood at me this time, because I brought my hostage with me this time!"
For her part, the child elicited a weak groan, blood escaping her mouth. Seems Linda did a number on her. Just looking at the poor child, tears in her eyes, with that terrified, deer in the headlights look was tragic.
I sighed before bringing out Serenity. "Drop the kid and I'll make this quick." I pointed Serenity at her to emphasise my point, but she didn't seem intimidated.
"Drop the sword or the kid gets another pipe to the face." The child visibly shuddered, the only real thing she could do in the iron grip of Linda's arm. Due to the tight corridor, I couldn't get a better angle to fire on her and the kid had already been through enough. What do I do…
"GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH!" Came the yelling of- oh fuck no. White Heart quite literally dropped in, kicking Linda to the kerb and forcing the child out of her grasp, causing her to careen towards me. I for my part, did catch the child with a bit of a grunt. She's heavier than I thought!
With Linda knocked out, this left White Heart to turn to me, death in her eyes and…
Oh. The hat, brown hair, blue eyes, the loli form…
This was Blanc's little sister. And from the look in her eyes, she wasn't happy to see me with her sister in my grip, covered in blood and sniffling "B-Big sis…"
I'm dead, aren't I?