A/N: 7,300 words without the A/N. Think this is the longest chapter yet and I planned to add more. But I think I'll save some for next time. Speaking of "next time", I'm posting this a tad earlier than I usually do as to make up for my future absence from writing. My mother's birthday is coming up and as such I'll be taking the weekend off entirely. Not a single word will be written (This is unlike my usual MO, which involves writing chunks day by day.) so yeah, last update for a bit. That's life.

Mailbag time~

Blaze2121: Yup. Much to my continued confusion I have decided to officially ship them. I like the idea of IF becoming a recurring character and enjoy writing her too much not to at least have a little bit of steamy romance. It shouldn't really affect the plot, just some extended character interaction.

alfamega20000: Awesomesauce, but I guess I'l have to mix up my game now because the plot is becoming too predictable. Someone get me my alcohol, I have drunk ideas again!

xbos432: Oh right, Linda. Hmm, maybe she has some help from someone more competent than her? But yes, rip Koei. This story had a good run. (As did my liver.)

endershadow98: There it isssss. Nep-Nep calling Koei a dong has been an idea since chapter 1! Don't worry about reviewing every chapter, though. If you have something interesting to say, say it. If you don't then don't Simplicity!

Endersoul1401L: I too wish to avoid bullshit cliches. That's why Koei just straight up admitted that he liked Iffy rather than leading this stupid thread on for half the story. Done in a very Koei fashion too if I say so myself. As for me? Probably would go down the same route. Self-Inserts think alike.

Also Iffy isn't an alcoholic. She just gets sick of Neptune's shit. A lot. That is my headcanon anyway. FIRE ON STARBOARD, SHIPPERS BE RAIDING, YARRR. (The author apologises for how piratcist that sounded. - Neptune)

SaltyBooks: A character's height isn't really something you think about until it's brought up, isn't it? Yeah, stating it via WoG was a tad lazy on my end but again, not good at heights. That and I think I established the general height well enough to sneak it in post-launch. As for how Koei is going to get out of this? Probably not unscathed.

Wew, lotta reviews this time. Almost no time for a chunkier A/N! Guess I'll hand back the reins to the protag, then. La-

(Hey, can I say hi to the readers? I read ahead and I'm not even in this chapter! This is bullshit! I DEMAND MY LAWYER! - Neptune)

Why are you invading my personal space? didn't you get enough screentime last chapter?

(No! - Neptune)

Agh. I'll go get some pudding for Neptune. Enjoy the chapter!

(Later! - Neptune)

Have you ever watched one of those films that starts right at the end with "You're probably wondering how I ended up here" before the actual movie starts? I wish I was in that situation so I could go back in time and not be here.

Sadly, this isn't TeleVisionTropes, so I can't just go back in time. But here I am, locked up in Lowee's Basilicom, having been arrested by the CPU herself. I didn't expect anything good to come out of this stint of imprisonment, especially with her preconceptions towards me, but as there was no dungeon, one of the guest bedrooms had to do instead. At the very least I didn't have the shit beaten out of me, so that's good at least.

Ah right, how I got here? Well…

"Uhh… this isn't what it looks like." Here I am, standing with an injured young girl in my arms with a very angry Blanc ready and willing to bash my fucking skull in. I mean she already drop kicked Linda, so she certainly had no qualms about me.

Of course, she didn't exactly buy that. "Sure, you just so happen to find my sister, injured and bleeding in this back alley with that slut and you're somehow not associated with her. DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING STUPID?" That didn't quite work, considering that White Heart's face was now as crimson as her eyes at this point.

Now at this point, I would have loved to say that I handled the situation with dignity and grace and defused the situation peacefully.

I didn't. I hauled ass in the other direction. This would have been fine in most cases, after all I already had bad times when dealing with angry CPUs. This was not most cases, as I still had the girl in my arms.

However my legs were already going and I was out of the alleyway already, I couldn't exactly go back. Lifting the girl onto my shoulder for a less cumbersome position, I continued hauling ass through Central Lowee. Of course, a few people gave me stares and whispers "Is that a lolicon?", but I had no time to explain the context.

Thankfully my public humiliation train would quickly cease, as White Heart did a three point landing several meters in front of me, forcing me to stop suddenly and nearly dropping the girl.

"Let go of my sister, you sick twisted PEDOPHILE BASTARD!" Oh god. Oh dear god this was going even worse than I thought. Complying, I put the girl gently on the ground. I had to figure out a way to prove I wasn't going to molest the poor girl. I had a date already, dammit!

Opening the UI glove menu quickly, I searched for a potion, brought it out, and began unscrewing the top. People were gathered around as White Heart looked at me in confusion. Good, I can turn this around. Pouring the liquid slowly in, the girl's wounds started to heal. Good, good! I can do this, I ca-

"Sir, you're under arrest for kidnapping, child abuse and uh… Wearing Planeptune clothing." The guard, decked out in red and pointing an old-school rifle at me seemed to make up that third offence in order to round out the charges.

"Might as well be arson, murder and jaywalking, mate." I had long since put Serenity in my inventory as I removed the UI Gloves and handed them to White Heart before being handcuffed. I looked her dead in the eyes before stating "I really didn't want us to meet again under such unfortunate circumstances."

So yeah, here I was in the Basilicom, awaiting punishment over a major misunderstanding all because I tried to help someone out. Though to be fair, running away like a bitch really did make things worse for myself rather than better. Oh well, live and learn. At least the room was nice, covered in that homely Lowee spirit.

Of course, I still was handcuffed, so the bookshelves were little more than a tease and even if I had my UI Gloves, I wouldn't have been able to use them. Would probably make for a cool escape if I did, though. Still, I have to make a good impression here. Blanc's not going to trust me if she thinks I'm going to bolt as soon as she uncuffs me. Or even before that.

Speaking of, Blanc opened up the door, now in her human form, jacket and all. On her I noticed that she had the handcuff keys and my gloves. "Koei Tech. It appears that you were correct about the context of our encounter being… Unfortunate. After speaking with my sister, it appears that you weren't the sick bastard I thought you were."

"Ah, I'm glad we could work this out like adu-"

"However," she cut me off hard. "You still ran off with my sister and caused a public disturbance rather than simply talk things out. Though I understand I am… intimidating in my CPU form, so this is partially on me." She walked over and unlocked my handcuffs, freeing my hands before handing me my UI Gloves, which I gladly put on. "I'm sure you can forgive me for both this and our previous encounter. Dealing with my new sisters has been rough."

Sisters? "You have more than one?"

Blanc nodded as I stayed seated on the bed. "Correct. Twins. Rom and Ram. You've already become acquainted with Rom, but Ram…" Her unreadable expression saddened a bit. "Ram has been missing since this morning. Due to a lack of shares until recently, both of them were bedridden and too weak to move. It seems someone took advantage of that and took both of them. I'm happy we found Rom, but…"

I can't imagine what she's feeling right now. I honestly cannot fathom the pain she's going through. All I can do…

I place a hand on her back. "Let me make this misunderstanding up to you and help find your sister." I said calmly. "Call this a Blanc slate between us, yeah?"

Blanc smiled a bit at the pun before punching me in the arm. "Fuckbag. I was going to ask for you to look after Rom, while she rested up, but the Oracle can do that instead. Poor Mina."

I hated dealing with children, so I can understand her pain. "Poor lass. Do you have any leads on Ram's whereabouts, though?"

Blanc placed a hand under her chin. "The only location that would make sense is the abandoned Lowee Global Expo. The guild has reported suspicious activity there before and the occasional robot has escaped from that area, leading to the surrounding area being designated as a PVE zone." Wait, robots?

"Hmm. If it's who I think it is behind this, I'll gladly join you then. I have some beef with them, to say the least." I cracked my knuckles, before wincing in pain. "Agh. That hurt."

Blanc gave off a giggle at my expense. Seemed that my presence was helping her somewhat. That and having one of her sisters back. "Alright, no point in dawdling when Ram's life and innocence is at stake. Come on, Fuckbag."

"If you can call me Fuckbag I'm calling you Flatty." I deadpanned.

Blanc turned to me, her face covered in darkness and one crimson eye showing. "If you value your life you'll never utter "Flatty" again."

"D-duly noted."

Blanc has joined the party.

Thankfully Blanc knew where the expo was from experience, so I simply followed her, checking the Share counts in the Nations real quick while we walked:

Current Share Totals:

Planeptune: 20%

Lastation: 30%

Leanbox: 35%

Lowee: 15%

"Huh, looks like you've made some waves recently Blanc." I utter before closing the menu. She looked at me with curiosity and then my gloves.

"Are those… Lastation's new UI Gloves?" She asked in her default, almost whispering tone. "Impressive technology."

"Yeah. Super useful for inventory management and occasional news reading." I open and close my hands a few times. "Also a good phone replacement. Good for someone like me who didn't have one in the first place." Which was true, as I came here with absolutely nothing.

"Huh. Nice. We're here, by the way." Blanc said, slightly too late for me to process before going face first into the closed shutter that kept the Expo safe when it wasn't being used. "Ow."

"Told you. It seems our way is blocked." Blanc stated simply. A woman of few words. "You may want to move, I don't want to hit you by accident, surprisingly." Blanc pulled out her weapon of choice, not the proton-futuristic axe that I was used to. Instead it was a giant fucking hammer that she lifted over her shoulder as if it weighed nothing. The amount of contrast between this girl's appearance, her attitude and her weapon was pretty funny. Still, giving a wide berth to that giant hammer and the girl currently rotating to build up momentum on the weapon.

"Out of my way! Zerstorung!" Blanc smashed the shutter incredibly hard with a mighty, clang, rather impressively denting the shutter while ripping it off of the hinges that supported it in the first place, causing it to be flung into the expo pretty hard, smashing into an unfortunate robot crab that happened to be in the way.

"Yikes." I mutter. "That's a lot of damage. Kinda glad I wasn't on the wrong end of that. Have been on the wrong end of a CPU one too many times…"

Blanc for her part, had already strolled into the complex, leaving that muttering of mine to the wind. Probably a good thing, as I didn't need her questioning what I meant by that. Feeling the scar on my stomach was enough of a reminder that these were goddesses I were dealing with, and they don't hold back.

Following Blanc, I saw her smash another robot with her hammer, this time a less animalistic design. It really was just a sphere with a helicopter blade attached. A few more of these robot Bits appeared, so Serenity was equipped and pain was going to be dealt. Assuming that Bits can feel pain. Can they? Whatever.

"Yaddah yaddah ice pun, FROSTBALL!" I practically threw Serenity at the nearest Bit, causing to fall to the ground and shatter before exploding into data. One down, many more to go.

"Think fast, Fuckbag!" Blanc yelled before I instinctively ducked before a flying Bit caused more injuries to my face as it gracefully smashed into a wall. Giving a glare towards Blanc, I carried on beating the everloving oil out of these spheres with blades.

Of course, these things being simply designed, there were a lot of them and as such, quickly surrounded me. My response? Pull a move I haven't done in a while and began to spin. After a few rotations, I stuck Serenity out in front of me and watched the carnage I could while spinning so fast. Unsurprisingly, the momentum of my sword ccombined with the frailty of these bots caused mass Bit genocide as I cleared the area. After I did I had to slow down to catch my bearings and-

Oh god, think that pizza's coming up.

"And this is why you close your eyes during a spin attack." Blanc muttered as I was currently ejecting pizza from my stomach. Gross? Yes. Efficient murder method? Even more so.

"Thanks for the advice. Did we clear out those Bits?" I got up on my feet, slightly unstead, taking a look around the expo.

"Seems like it. No sign of life aside from the robots, though. I do hope Ram is here, even if I have to tear apart the whole damn place." Blanc was determined at least.

"Same." I muttered. "I want to open that damn robot like the tin can he is."

"Robot?" Blanc heard my muttering. Not good. "That would explain all the mechanical enemies here. But why would you have beef with a robot?"

"They're trying to kill me over a perceived fling I have with another CPU… I mean woman."

"Another CPU, huh? Seems you have a knack for running into us then." Blanc wasn't mad? That's a surprise. "This explains why you're so willing to work with me after I gave you a terrible first impression." She started to walk towards the next area of the expo as I followed suit.

"Eh, you saved my ass from that whale before I made you mad enough to yell at me and fuck right off. If anything, I made a bad impression on you." I reasoned. "Plus I didn't think you gave me the worst first impression…" I pulled up my jacket and shirt to reveal my still healing scar, now no longer covering my entire chest at least.

"I didn't mean literally, yikes. You sure know how to take a beating." she pointed to my face as if to prove a point. "I mean, you look like you took a sup-"

"Superheated lobster claw, yeah yeah yeah. Exactly what happened, don't blast giant metal lobsters in the eyes." I finished off as we encountered another group of Bits.

"Oh for... Let me take care of this. EARTHSHATTER!" Blanc slammed her hammer down on the ground, causing the ground to shake and making parts of the ground fly up, hitting each BIt and causing them to explode in one hit.

Naturally I was shocked. "What."

"Learned it from a big German looking guy from the PC Continent." Blanc shrugged. "Pretty handy technique, but it damages the ground so I don't use it too much."

"Neat." I mutter before we advanced further in. By this point we had walked into an empty looking warehouse full of disassembled technology. "Whoever was here before linked tinkering." I mutter, with Blanc nodding in agreement.

What neither of us noticed was the increasing darkness as the shutter closed behind us. Total darkness reigned for a few moments before the lights came on automatically. Due to how little sunlight reached into the warehouse, we had failed to notice three things.

Linda, noticably more beat up from before, a child similar to Rom tied up in a chair (But unharmed apparently) and another giant fucking robot lobster.

"Son of a bitch." I deadpanned. "We really fighting another lobster? Nothing more original?"

"Well well well, let's see you make a brand new robot from the ground up in a day!" That damn robot's voice came up again and my UI gloves opened automatically to reveal it. "Such cruel words for the young maiden who merely wants Lady Noire's heart! Such malice! The overwhelming nastine-"

"Don't care. What's your name, dude?" I cut in. My fucks given were at an all time low.

"Well if you must know, it's Anonydeath, the Pure Hearted Maiden of this realm." Anonydeath replied. Yay, confirmation. "And as for your sass about my creation, well this version of Heavy Lobster should be satisfactory… You robot snob." He huffed. "Linda darling, please take care of our unwanted guests." The feed then cut off.

"With pleasure." Linda pulled a remote out from her discount UI Gloves and pressed the big red button, causing the golden lobster to whirr to life, eyes glowing with hatred. Well, if robots could feel hate. At the very least, it looked stronger than the one I helped take down yesterday at least. "Ah, feels good to be on the winning side for once!"

"Yeah, winning." I mutter before preparing to fight. But then Linda pressed a different button on her remote, Heavy Lobster turned its body towards the tried up Ram and reached one of its claws towards the child, her head right between the pincers.

"Ah, ah, ah. Don't want your little sister to lose her head now, right?" Ram undstandably tried to struggle her way out of her bounds to no avail while the golden lobster's claw stayed in prime decapitation position.

Understandably, Blanc was pretty angry. "Fucking coward, using my own flesh and blood as leverage."

Linda shrugged. "Them's the breaks. Speaking of breaks ..." She pulled her lead pipe out "I think your knees should be broken to match!"

I visibly facepalmed. "I don't care how you bash my kneecaps in, it's not going to hurt anymore than that joke."

"Well, whatever. Just stand still and let me break your knees." Linda approached us, but we really couldn't do anything with her having that remote in her hands. Could I destroy it and cause the robot to malfunction? No, it's too risky if it decides to close its claw while malfunctioning.

Well, it seemed Linda was approaching me first, pipe read to crack my skull in with a vicious grin on her face. In her excitement, she did put her remote back in her inventory in order to dual wield her pipe.

She took a leap and tried to go for a skullwards strike while I sidestepped to the left as her pipe harmlessly bounced off of the ground and her prone position left her vulnerable to a boot to the face. Kicking her to Blanc, she placed her sandals right on Linda's chest, definitely putting some pressure on to prevent her from moving.

"Ugh. I still have the remote, you know." Linda grunted, trying to regain her leverage. Meanwhile I simply wandered to Ram and equipped Serenity. "Blanc, be a dear and make sure she can't use her gloves." I yell over while I start cutting Ram's binds. Despite this, she seemed to have a panicked look on her face and was trying to tell me something, but her gag was covered her mouth.

Eventually I managed to get through the ropes on her arms, to which Ram decided to rip off her gag and yelled "THE REMOTE IS A DECOY!" before ducking. Not a second later, the lobster's claw slammed shut, thankfully with nothing inside it. (I was on one knee undoing the rope.)

Combat rolling off her seat, Ram ran over to the wall where a staff had been left, presumably hers. I mean, she was just Rom with longer hair and pink clothing with blue accents instead of vice versa. She also seemed a lot more outgoing than her sister, at least from the determined look in her eyes as she reunited with her staff.

Blanc for her part ran up to embrace her sister, leaving Linda with a pain in her chest and no sense of worth, knowing her entire role in the plan was simply bait.

"Hmm, you know Linda, you're a pretty funny joke." I casually muttered to the girl as she wheezed her way back to two feet. "Too bad your sense of humor is about as bad as you are at your job."

If looks could kill, then Linda… Nah, she couldn't even pull that off. Still, she had death in her eyes and a pipe in her hands ready to wrap around me. Meanwhile I still had Serenity. Who would win this epic duel of fates?

"Good grief this is sad. Frostblast." I simply fired a shot of ice at the thug and just like that, her bottom half was from solid, leaving her completely immobile. "I'll unfreeze you when the bigger threat is taken care of, just chill out for a bit, will you." I snicker at my own pun before turning to the actual threat, the now mobile golden Heavy Lobster, stomping toward me, the claws twisting and preparing for the fight it was made for. Probably quite literally, given the fact it was built so quickly after the last one.

"Hey Blanc, ready to crack some lobster?" I call out to the CPU, who ran to me, hammer in tow and ready to fight.

"Let's do this." She nodded to me before charging forward to strike Heavy Lobster with an overhead strike. Surprisingly, despite the weight of the hit, the robot barely flinched. In response, the robot jumped backwards, and turned its claws to where Blanc was standing. Goddammit, not again.

"Blanc, watch ou-" Thankfully for me, she saw the flamethrower burst coming and went into her HDD form, taking off right as the flames spewed from its cannons. In response, it tried to shoot her down by firing tiny versions of itself after turning the claws upwards.

"A lot more articulate than I expected." I noted before walking around to its side, having time with White Heart being the focus of the crustaceans wrath. Aside from being more mobile, the armor seemed to have an extra layer of defense to it, with any chinks covered up, keeping my strategy from last time from working. "Hey Blanc, found any weaknesses on it yet?"

"No! This fucker's well built, I can't find a way to damage it ! Ah!" White Heart barely dodged a torrent of flame aimed directly at her. Walking out from behind it and taking a few steps away, I needed to analyze it more. Everything has a weakness, right? Robots, robots… Robots usually have some sort of processor, right? Could I...

"You could try overheating the processor to cause the robot to freeze for a few moments while it cools off." A voice came from beside me.

"Yes, genius! Thanks IF!" I turned to IF, who was now here. A moment later I realized that IF was here and yelped. "IF! Nice to see you again!"

"Hey. My new Guild quest was to rescue a kidnapped child, it led me here. Seems the kid's alright, but you two are in some trouble, right?" IF had a smug grin on her face, as if she knew this was going to happen.

"Right on the mark, Stalker. I know a fire spell or two but it didn't really damage the other bot I tried this on."

"I know a fire spell. Wanna combine our spells?" IF brought out her qatars with an even smugger grin on her face. God that grin was so cute.

"Alright, come on before I end up being fried because I spent too long looking at your cute face." I teased before turning around towards the fight in hand. I think I felt the heat of her blushing from over a meter away. Or it could be the flamethrowers.

White Heart was doing well for herself, but was quickly tiring out from the dodging. Time to provide some literal suppressing fire. I took out Serenity and focused all my energy on creating the hottest flame possible. I saw a flame gathering on the tip of Serenity. It started a cherry red, before becoming a deep orange and finally a dazzling bright… blue? That's not how fire worked. Whatever, magic. Had to keep my concentration. IF, still blushing a tad bit, flames dancing around her qatars, waiting for my own fire.

"Well, this should be worth the wait. Inferno Shot!" I yelled as I fire the blue flame towards the robot, it now turning towards the source of the noise, letting some pressure off White Heart.

"Alright, let's see how this goes. Demon Flame!" IF added her own spell to the equation, initially starting as a nice orange, before combining with my flame to create a beautiful cyan explosion of flame that completely covered Heavy Lobster.

My UI Gloves made a ding noise. Opening them up, there was Histoire, seeming excited.

Congratulations user! You have learned a Combo Skill! Using certain spells with certain conditions can lead to wild combinations that will devastate the field! Mix and match to learn many more combos!

Combo Spell Found: Blue Demon's Inferno

"Edgy." I mutter as the flames eventually died out from our combo. As expected, Heavy Lobster seemed to have been stunned by the immense amount of heat it was blasted. What wasn't expected as the fact that the spell managed to sear the paint off entirely, leaving it with a burnt chrome instead of the gold it had.

"Well, job well done ladies." I said, not realizing that we merely made it overheat to stun it. After a moment, it got back up and the eyes on it turned crimson red.

"Overheat Prevention Activated. Releasing Limiters." The robotic voice announced, indicating the fight was in fact not over.

(Current music: Heavy Lobster (Kirby Super Star Ultra) - GaMetal Remix)

"Ah. Shit." I said as IF face palmed, before preparing her qatars.

"Nothing's that easy with you around, Arsonist, isn't it?" She muttered before I prepared Serenity for round 2.

Warning: Boss Fight Approaching

Koei, IF and White Heart

Vs.

Heavy Lobster Mk2 (Limiters Off)

Ready?

FIGHT!

"Assessing target threat. CPU detected. Engaging…"

Heavy Lobster decided that it wanted to be a kangaroo and leapt straight towards the airborne White Heart, resulting in a direct hit on the flying cuss fairy and causing her to be launched across the warehouse.

"Well, there goes our tank…" I mutter as Heavy Lobster landed up a small quake, before leaping again to turn to our direction. It was certainly built for mobility this time and was taking full advantage of its legs, stomping toward us while priming its claws for the next attack. IF for her part decided to go to my right, as I went left to split up the targets.

The crustacean decided that this wasn't good, so turned its claws to us anyway, looking pretty weird. Claws are not supposed to bend that way. Still, the flamethrowers activated, but instead of aiming at us, the robot started leaping in circles, using its momentum to try and fry us with the bent claws acting as an area of effect attack. Scarcely managing to keep my eyebrows, I took a few steps back.

IF for her part dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged each and every particle that came her way, before leaping on Heavy Lobster itself and attempting to hack the offending flame-spewing claw off. Unfortunately it was as armored as the rest of the body, leading to the amount of damage on it being minimal at best. Soon the leaping became too much for IF and she was launched off the robot. It's fortunate that she was flung in my direction, then.

"Ugh." I grunt as I caught her. "Lose some weight, will you. You make this hero lark hard work." I earned a playful glare from the girl I admired before standing on her own two feet again. The problem was that we had no effective way to damage it. Even using Blue Demon's Inferno (edgy) only seemed to burn the paint off and stun it for a moment, which required setup and Heavy Lobster was aggroing us hard, so that was out.

"Hey, dipshits. Did you forget about me?" White Heart limped in, drinking a Healing Potion and dragging her axe in her otherwise free hand, causing small burn marks on the floor. "While it might be more aggressive, it might be sacrificing the iron-clad defense in order to gain mobility."

IF put a hand to her chin while Heavy Lobster prepared its next attack. "That would make some sense, considering that it probably vents heat out of somewhere. I think there's some chinks on top the armor now, but it'll probably be too hard to remove…"

"Heh." White Heart flung her empty potion behind her and lifted her axe over her shoulder. "Nothing is "too hard" to remove for the CPU of Lowee. Leave the armor piercing to me!" And thus she fucked off above Heavy Lobster again, this time keeping a careful eye on its movement as not to get literally bodied again.

"Switching to Anti-Personnel Missiles."

Oh no. The claw cannons rather predictably started firing missiles, though they had a shoddy aim and thus the barrage missed entirely, blowing up several crates behind us.

"TANZERRIN TROMBE!" White Heart yelled as she dive bombed the robot, spinning around and nailing it with several axe strikes, before slamming her axe right on top of the skull. This time there was a momentary stun along with a noticeable dent. "Haha, nothing can defend against my onslaught!" She smugly laughed as I rolled my eyes.

"Well, it still hasn't really shut down, has it?" It kept whirring and clanking, now folding its body in and bending the claws to the opposite direction of us to… "Oh shit, incoming!" I yell and combat roll to the right as Heavy Lobster speed boosted towards us. Thankfully my warning came in time as IF and White Heart went to my left and above me respectively, leading Heavy Lobster to crash into the other side of the warehouse, a pile of boxes falling on top of it. "Well designed AI, 10/10."

Of course, if a giant proton axe to the skull wasn't going to stop it, boxes weren't either, as it busted through the pile again. Turns out it went straight through the wall and back again. That would have hurt. A lot.

"Anyone got bright ideas? It seems be taking damage, but getting more and more aggressive with each passing moment." IF asked, to which White Heart shrugged.

"I've tried hitting it and hitting it harder. If I had more Shares I'd tear the bastard apart with my bare hands."

"Well, we tried fire, which made it somewhat more vulnerable but aggressive, why not..." I mutter as I point Serenity at it. No time like the present after all. "Time for some fried lobster! Thunderblast!"

A shot similar to the Frost and Fire variants shot out of Serenity. Barely feeling the recoil, the shot smacked the robot square between the eyes, shocking it and shutting it down…

Circuit overload detected. Activating self-destruct. Three minutes remain until detonation. Objective: Destroy intruders at any cost.

"GREAT IDEA KOEI. YOU TURNED IT INTO A FUCKING BOMB!" White Heart yelled at me, which wasn't entirely undeserved. Still, that should have fried it, right? Why didn't it…

"I think I'm on the right track here. But it doesn't seem like the shock affected any core systems and this is the default circuit breaker to prevent surges from destroying any mechanics." What? I like robots. Well, not ones actively trying to kill me, but this line of logic was reasonable. I didn't become an engineer anyway, but it sounded fine. "White Heart, can you make a hole in the skull? I might need to take a more direct shock to it."

"I heard "cave the fucking skull in" so I'm sold." White Heart rushed towards the prone timebomb, slamming down on the damaged skull until it split open, revealing the circuits underneath. "Got the circuits, what now Fuckbag?"

"Oh you know, nothing much." I say nonchalantly as I focused power into Serenity. If I could make it use fire ice and fire spells, that means…

Serenity took on a golden hew as it started sparking, before it became a conduit of lightning, discharging wildly. Perfect.

The UI Gloves made a ding, but this wasn't the time so I didn't open the menu. As I walked to the immobile being, Histoire's voice piped up from the gloves instead.

Skill Unlocked: Blade Enchant

Enhance the power of your sword with an element temporarily. Perfect for close range encounters with elementals. This also will boost the power of the element you enchanted with temporarily, but decreases the power of all other elements and spells.

Thanks Histoire. Standing a good 5 meters away, I took a running start, leapt into the air and aimed straight for the hole with my new cattle prod of a sword.

"THUNDERSTRIKE!" I yelled, making up another skill on the spot as Serenity glowed brighter, nearly blinding me as I inserted the sword right through the hole in the skull and straight into the brain, causing the entire body to start convulsing in shock.

I kept hold of the blade, not out of any free will, but because I forgot one of the fundamental laws of electricity: Don't jam metal objects into electronics unless you want to be shocked to death.

(End song)

So that was a minor flaw in my plan, not being able to get off the robot while taking a pretty hard electric shock throughout my body, my nerves screaming as they kept being activated from the completed circuit. Eventually, White Heart pulled me from the blade (Despite what you might think otherwise, the skintight bodysuit was useful for not conducting electricity. That and I think the gloves were shockproof too.) and put me down, body still convulsing violently. I couldn't move of my own free will, my body kept going in painful angles and I couldn't scream for someone to put me out of my misery.

After what felt like forever, IF came into view and popped a yellow pill into my mouth, after a moment or two of violently flinging it around my mouth, it went down my throat where my body did the rest. Slowly but surely, the convulsing stopped and I regained control of my body. IF for her part, did her best to calm me by stroking my hair and giving the most serene smile she could in the situation. I'll admit, we were both blushing pretty hard by the time I got back up onto my feet.

"..." Blanc, now back in her human form looked at me with that same unreadable expression. I'll admit, her CPU form is way easier to socialize with, even if it devolves to arguing with the cuss fairy about strategy, it's still better than that stare.

Turning to where I jammed Serenity, it was there but the robot wasn't any longer, just a pile of credits and loot. "Heh, totally nailed it." I attempted to play it off coolly, but IF had other plans and slapped me around the face.

"The utter hell was that? "Oh let me jam a metal blade surging with energy into a metal robot?" You could have died from the shock! What if that shock stopped your heart from beating?" Huh. Never considered that.

"W-Well…"

"I thought so." IF rolled her eyes before giving a wry smile. "This is why I keep Paralaxin on hand, as well as other remedies. Paralysis is particular is pretty nasty, as you no doubt learned first hand."

I rubbed my head sheepishly. "Yeahhh, not my best thought plan. Least we didn't die in a fiery explosion, though?"

"We could have escaped." Blanc piped up. "Even if the robot was still mobile, it was unlikely it would be able to catch me at full speed. And I doubt that carrying the both of you would have been too much of a burden. Even so, the robot looked entirely immobile at that point, meaning the only thing at risk would have been this abandoned warehouse. Really, as stylish as your finishing move was, it was completely unnecessary and extremely risky to yourself."

"Thanks, Captain Hindsight." I mutter just loud enough for her to hear before looking around for the other two people that I accidentally forgot about in the midst of battle. "Where's Ram and Linda?"

"I told Ram to go back to the Basilicom and fto fly straight there. She seemed excited to use her CPU form, at least." Of course she's a CPU Candidate. "As for that thuggy slut? I believe she escaped after a missile hit a nearby crate, causing the heat to melt the ice around her legs."

"I wanted to ask her about her UI Gloves and why she was working for/with Anonydeath, but I guess that's too late now. I'm just glad to be alive…"

"Yes, congratulations on staying alive long enough to hear my lovely monologue." Anonydeath interrupted, floating into the room view four hovering… things. I blame magnets. "And congratulations on beating the prototype Heavy Lobster, I didn't think you'd connect the dots on robots not liking electricity! You are slightly smarter than I originally thought!"

Looking up and down the "robot", I noticed it was a fair bit larger than the average human, almost like it was intended that way in order to say, fit a human inside of it comfortably. "Yup, that'll explain a lot." I mutter non-committedly.

Blanc meanwhile had switched from her default mood to her more… Outspoken self. "The fuck do you think you're doing, using my sisters as hostages against me, you sick fuck?"

"My, my Blanny dearest, you're even worse than Koei over there." Anonydeath chided, wagging his finger at the pissed-off CPU. "I only came here in order to congratulate you on foiling my plan to tank Lowee's Shares and give them to Lastation. You'll find everything I used over there." Anonydeath pointed to an open shutter that lead to a room full of computers and other technology. "Feel free to use it however you'd like. I'd be quick though… Heavy Lobster isn't the only thing I rigged to blow, after all!" And with that, he flew off, right through the roof of the complex.

Warning: Self-Destruct in: 3 minutes. Came a female voice, similar to Histoire echoed from nowhere. "Guess we have to make this quick." I ran over to the various terminals and skimmed at the various logs. Most of it was specifications and design notes for the robot animals, one or two were for Heavy Lobster itself and another one seemed to be… Stolen documents of the UI Gloves?

"Woah." IF stood at my side, scanning a different set of terminals. "Seems that this guy knew about your arrival before even Histoire. This entry was dated over a month ago and talks about "A new rift."

What? I looked at what IF was pointed at, and a bit above. "Hey, it says here that he's set up shop here from "his own dimension" due to the fact that the technology here is far more advanced? What does that even mean?"

Self-Destruct in: 2 minutes.

I had to find out more. This could be my key to figuring out Anonydeath's plan before it even begins. I scrolled through more, documents on how he sneaked in cameras to Lastation's Basilicom, how they were taken down instantly and circumventing the security system. How he saw Noire for the first time and wanted to be with her, his erotic self-insert fanf-

"Woah. Nooo." I closed that quickly. Juicy as it could have been, I really didn't want to be reading that when I had more important things on my mind. That and IF was here. She gave me a quick look, a look to the thing I closed, then smile before scrolling through more of Anonydeath's notes.

"Hmmm? This one is titled "Dimension Differences."" I mutter again. I should stop, but I opened this anyway.

Anonydeath's Log

Day 4

It appears that this dimension doesn't have any CPU Memories to speak of, which is highly unfortunate for my ongoing goal of DATA EXPUNGED, but alas I did learn other things about this place.

For one, the Nations are far bigger and more advanced than back in my home dimension (It seems I should differentiate the two. Ultradimension, maybe?) along with there being two other nations not present in Ultradimension; Leanbox and Lastation.

Additionally, it seems that CPUs are just born at a certain amount of Shares, rather than the rare CPU Memories. This however gives me a chance to see an alternative future of Gamindustri, as it seems that the Lowee CPU is practically the same, despite the Planeptune CPU being completely different. Does this mean that there's a version of the lovely Lastation CPU back home that will find a CPU memory? Two versions of that perfect goddess? Oh, I can't imagine! It would do well for me to keep an eye out for similar looking women when I go back to Ultradimension.

"He's… He's not of this world." I said, no emotion in my voice. "He's… Just like me?"

IF put her hand on my back, comforting me slightly. "It doesn't matter where he's from, nor does it matter where you're from. It's your actions that matter, not your home."

I smiled and gave thanks before looking through another log entry.

Day 12

It seems Lady Noire is troubled. All she's done since coming back this afternoon is pace up and down her bedroom and crying. I want nothing more than to comfort her and to destroy whatever was responsible for making her like this.

Day 15

It seems the person responsible has turned up to the Basilicom. The slimy bastard calls himself "Koei." and seemed to have hit off rather well with my lady, despite making her cry. What a jerk. I would never make my lady cry. He must be stopped.

Day 16

Lady Noire gave this "Koei" a pair of UI gloves as an "apology", as if all this was her fault .Nothing could be her fault ,she's perfect. Clearly there is some manipulative behaviour happening. I need to start planning out how to take care of this snake in the grass. Perhaps I could hire someone...

"Linda." I stated simply. "I get it now."

IF looked at me. "Hmm? You find out something?"

I glared back. "Linda's working for Anonydeath. Everything since the 5pb. incident has been his doing. It makes sense now, he was trying to get me thrown in jail, and when that didn't work, tried to have me killed."

Self-Destruct in: 30 seconds.

"I've seen enough anyway. Come on." I motion for the other two to move out, starting to jog towards the exit (Not before grabbing Serenity and a pile of Credits from the corpse of Heavy Lobster, of course.) and made my way out along with IF and Blanc.

Not 5 seconds later, the room of computers at the back of the warehouse exploded, taking all of that bastard's logs with it. Would having all those documents have made it easier to track him down if necessary? Sure. Was it cathartic as hell to watch all of that hard work literally and metaphorically blow up, revealing who he truly is as well as how fucking petty he was truly? Oh hell yes.

"Well, that's a job well done." Blanc stated monotonically. "Now if you excuse me, I have sisters to look after. Thank you for everything today Koei and IF. Consider it a pleasure to have worked with you."

"Thanks Blanc. Oh, I have a message from one of the other CPUs, by the way." I remembered in the nick of time, as Blanc raised an eyebrow. "Lady Green Heart… She says…"

"Well? What did Thunder Tits have to say to me that the bitch couldn't say to my face?" Blanc spat venomously, showing some very obvious hated towards Vert. This was going to hurt…

"She said that your human form is cute." I said quickly before turning away, rubbing the back of my head nervously. IF was snickering to herself, knowing how awkward that must have been for me to state out loud.

Blanc stood for a few moments., completely silent. When I found the courage to look at her again, she was motionless, almost contemplative.

"Huh."

And with that, Blanc went HDD and flew off to the Basilicom. It's funny that just a few hours ago I was in the same Basilicom being treated as a criminal, yet we parted amicably. That last awkward moment aside, of course.

"Well IF, it's… 4:30pm. You were going to show me a place you knew where we could drink?"

IF gave a grin. "Ah, you remembered after all that today! Let me turn in this Quest and we'll get going. It's in Planeptune too, so you don't have to worry about paying for a room tonight either."

"Nice." I shot a thumbs up before taking a slice of pizza out of my inventory and taking a quick bite. Convulsing gives you a hell of a workout.

Blanc has left the party.

(The chapter ends here? What a rippoff, I demand my money back! - Neptune)

Hey didn't you say you read ahead already?

(I skimmed it for mentions of my name. Nothing else. - Neptune)

Ugh, are you going to be a recurring gag?

(Depends on how the readers like it. I think it adds a little spice to these boring A/Ns - Neptune)

Ah fuck. Whatever. Next chapter will be delayed for a bit, mentioning it again for reasons. Plus I want to leave the idea of Koei and IF going out for a drink out there just to be a dick. Also there'll be a cameo from one of my favourite V/Ns, I'd say try and guess, but it's pretty obscure. OR not, I don't know obscurity.

(Hmm, an alcoholic cameoing a V/N. Wonder what that could apply to? - Neptune)

Hey, don't spoil it for people, otherwise I'll delete your pudding.

(BRING IT BITCH! - Neptune.)

Grr. Oh well, I'll deal with you next chapter. Later folks!

(Bye! - Neptune)