A/N: …
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(Uh, hello? - Neptune)
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(Where is that lazy bum of an author? - Neptune)
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(Huh, a note? - Neptune)
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(I… I see. Time to set up an emergency broadcast of…)
Nepstation!
(Nepstation theme)
Ah, that's better. Hello there dear readers, it is I, Neptune! The author couldn't be here to do his usual A/N, for… Well he left a note, but I think it's best just to cite it as "Personal Issues" and move on. This chapter is padded enough already, heh.
…
Kinda just feels wrong to snark without him. A-Anyway, I'll be doing the mailbag for today! Special episode, woohoo!
EnderSoul1401: Jeez, the less I think about Sadie, the better. I'm glad that Anonydeath is the only character involved so far. So many whippings…
As for VA11-HALL-A, that is not in my own personal wheelhouse, but I hear that it was in fact one of the tonal inspirations for this fic. At least for Koei. (Also I think the lazy bum's been playing it between chapters again.)
And hey, always Nisa to see Nisa again, haha. Though I feel a Yandere Compa would be almost as bad as Sadie, shudder. Don't put ideas like that into his head, please!
Xbox432: My fourth wall powers sense that there were implications in the manga, as well as maybe one or two other tidbits in other media, but nothing concrete. Then again, this fic had Koei x IF from basically nothing either, so I don't think I have any room to speak on that!
Personally I think Compa's too innocent to have her poor heart broken by relationships. Where would I get my pudding then? (Though being on the wrong side of her needle is still a big ouchie.)
Blaze2121: Something tells me that drinking is going to be a recurring theme in this story. I blame the author. Still, it would make for some fun side chapters between the action once we all get along. It's weird not being able to call Noire a loner. It's been 12 chapters and not even one reference to it! It's eating away at me~
But I do kinda ship KoeIffy. Maybe it's their mutual dislike of my antics. Speaking of antics, that's all from me today. Author better cut me a check for this, I don't work overtime for free...
(Nepstation cuts out)
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Pain. So much pain. Stupid alcoholism. Ugh.
I'm scarcely able to open my eyes as the daylight assaults me. Jesus fuck, what did I do last night?
Ah right, right. Drinking. Of course. I dragged myself out of bed, before my face greeted the floor with a satisfying thunk.
Ow. Fuck. At least my head isn't the only thing that hurts anymore. Where the hell are my pants?
There they are. Eventually, I managed to make it outside my sleeping quarters without collapsing and arrived at the birthplace of the Koei Kombo, the kitchen. Thankfully there was tea (sadly not Rose Tinted, but there's only so much you can do.)
Still, it was satisfactory for waking me up to the world around me. Praise caffeine I guess. A few minutes of peaceful solitude later, Nepgear arrived, looking tired but none the worse for wear otherwise.
"Morning NepG. You look like you had a late night." I state simply, as Nepgear herself went straight for a coffee, surprisingly.
"G'mornin'. Neptune was up half the night on that RPG of hers. My sister is also not a very quiet gamer, sadly." Nepgear yawned before sitting across from me. If her less chirpy demeanor wasn't already a tipoff that she didn't get enough shut-eye, the small bags forming under her eyes was going to make that fact even more obvious.
"Are you going to be alright?" I ask, some form of concern in my voice.
Nepgear nodded. "I'll live. Coffee certainly helps. She's usually not too bad, but it seems that her new RPG has… Issues."
I wanted to ask further, but as I distinctly recall Neptune being in that game, maybe it'd be best to not question the game too hard. Could open some form of weird existential crisis if I did.
Thankfully the flying book slu- Histoire arrived to interrupt my pondering on the meaning of playing with yourself. AS YOURSELF. Goddammit.
"Ah, Histoire. Good morning to you too." I greeted casually to the oracle, who seemed to be quite flustered.
"Good morning Koei, I need to speak with you for a moment." She started. Aw shit, it's too early for this.
"Arlight, but hell if I'm going into that void again. Tell it to me here while I drink tea." I made my stand, because that void is freaky.
"A-alright. I suppose this is relevant to CPU Candidate Nepgear as well. So… Remember how I asked you to bring peace to Gamindustri? You have done an excellent job so far, as the Leanbox and Lastation Oracles have relayed to me, they are ready for peace talks, but…"
That left Lowee. I forgot to ask Blanc about peace. "I uh… Shit."
"Yes, it seems that when I asked the Lowee Oracle, she could not provide a definitive answer on her CPU's stance on the War. I presume you had other things on your mind at the time?"
Uhhhh. "Yes. Like recovering from a convulsion caused by my own stupidity. That's totally it." I shifted my eyes away from Histoire momentarily.
"I see. I suppose it would be too much to ask you to go back to Lowee for the moment, as White Heart may find something suspicious about you returning too soon. We'll have to figure something else ouABABBABBABBABABABABABBABABAB-"
HistyDotExe has stopped responding, apparently. Well, time to troubleshoot her by bopping her on the head. Doing just that, a phone call started.
Yes, Histoire is a phone. A phonebook if you will.
"H-Hello?" A motherly voice came from the other end, calming and warm. It wasn't recognizable by any means, but it seems that Histoire was kind of out of it.
"Uh, hello. This is Koei Tech and you're calling Histoire?"
"Oh good. I got the right number." The voice sighed in relief. "I'll make this brief. I'm the Oracle of Lowee, Mina Nishizawa. My CPU, White Heart has gone to Leanbox for some reason. She was muttering something about "Thunder Tits" yesterday and I fear the worst for CPU Green Heart."
Oh this wasn't going to end well. "I guess I can head to Leanbox and try to stop them from fucking… Each other up." I clarified quickly, because my mind is disgusting and that's the second stupid innuendo I've made so much frigging time.
"Excellent. I leave the fate of Leanbox in your hands, Koei." Mina then cut off the call, leaving the room in silence and Histoire pretty dazed. So much for having a day off, I had to stop a world war from breaking out.
Nepgear for her part, was fiddling nervously to herself, not sure on what she should do. I wanted to bring her along, just in case things went down and I had to fight a CPU, but it might be seen as bringing excessive force to a conflict. There's also Neptune to look after, I guess.
"Well NepG, I'll see you later." I started to walk out of the door. "I'll give you a call when I've stopped the apocalypse from happening, you have my number, right?"
Nepgear nodded, I shot a thumbs up and left for Leanbox.
While the trip to Lastation then Leanbox was uneventful, there was the niggling feeling of "I have fucked up massively" flowing through my head as the train trundled through the tunnel. Wanting to get my mind off of things, I opened up the UI Gloves (And much to my stomach's chagrin, could not open the inventory) and looked at the local news headlines:
Console War or Console Bore?
Every Gamindustri citizen knows of the proverbial Console War, where CPUs compete for Shares and the like. However, this naming scheme doesn't really reflect the level of conflict present in our everyday lives.
Now I'm not asking for citizens to take up arms and go on a crusade for their patron CPU (However fun that would be.), but we really should stop using a term like "War" to describe what is effectively a petty squabble.
I blame the press industry, always overblowing situations in order to get views and sales. Damn clickbaiters.
I've covered wars you know.
Frank East
(Editor's Note: The views, opinions and thoughts of Frank East do not represent those of the Gamindustri News Network, nor any of its affiliates such as Nepstation. We simply yearn for true journalistic equality, however bad it is.)
That was rather savage of the editor. Still, at least they were upfront about how much of a hack Frank East is. But I feel like this is already getting too political, and I'm about to dive in head first into stopping two goddesses from starting a new, actual Console War.
Agh, fuck. Next article, please be fluffy…
5pb. performing again, but this time for peace!
5pb. the world-famous idol singer hailing from Leanbox has announced that her next concert won't just be for Leanbox, but for all nations!
In a call for peace between the nations inspired by what is rumoured to be a traumatic kidnapping by an unknown assailant, 5pb. will be making her first world tour, starting with Planeptune and ending in her home nation of Leanbox.
Results of this announcement on social media has been extremely positive, with fans of seemingly any CPU being happy with this result, as 5pb. has not been seen outside of Leanbox since she started blowing up in Leanbox.
Unfortunately she has been declining any opportunity for an interview, but we will keep you posted if anything changes.
Aya Shameimaru
Sweet, even if I have to pay for it, I've really grown to like her music recently. Probably because I have bad taste in music. Still, it was something to look forward to after the events in Leanbox, assuming it doesn't go to shit.
Leanbox was as pretty as ever, Homely, Western-inspired, etc. All very well and good, but that's not really important, as there was a potential war to stop. One caused by me of all people, which would not reflect well in the future.
I mean I never really cared about my reputation, but "causing world war" would attract the wrong kind of people, I feel.
Still, I probably had some time, right? I could probably go grab something to eat. Only so much pizza one can take, despite it's orgasmic quality.
I really should stop referring to things as "orgasmic."
Oh well, should probably just check up on my profile. Haven't done that in a while. Let's see… User… Profile… Koei Tech… Aha!
Koei Tech's Profile
Level: 15
Occupation: Adventurer/Professional Hobo
Skills: Elemental Mastery (Fire/Thunder/Ice) Level 3. (Can use up to Blast variations.), Wind Mastery Level 1 (Can use only Airbolt.), Inferno Shot (Combos with Demon Flame.), Elemental Enchantment (Flameblade/Thunderblade/Frostblade)
EXE Drive: ? (Insufficient data.)
Traits: Attuned (Spells cost less SP.), Protagonist Aura (?), Ice Person (Ice spells deal more damage.), Strong Liver (Alcohol restores SP.), Introverted (Having more party members decreases your stats.), Jerkass (You're just a prick. No effect in battle.)
Hmm, interesting. Didn't even know I had access to wind spells. But it makes sense, four core elements and all. Just missing Earth magic, but that's overplayed anyway. Not that I'd be making use of wind magic either, as what am I supposed to do with that, perv on girls by sending gusts?
I mean, IF wears shorts and I wouldn't dare pull that on anyone else. She might be my gi- friend, but she's not going to take that lying down and would more than likely turn me into kebab meat.
But uuh, yeah. Wind magic. It's neat. But speaking of kebabs has made me hungry. I know that they're of a Middle Easten origin, but my home was well known for ahem borrowing ideas from other cultures.
Also this is Leanbox, the nation of borrowing from Western culture, why wouldn't there be a kebab place? I don't know why I'm suddenly into having lamb meat slapped into pitta bread, maybe I'm just yearning for home.
Or it could be this fucking hangover. Hangovers always make me yearn for the fastest, dirtiest way of shovelling food down my throat.
You know I'm rambling when there's food to be consumed. This has to be rectified.
That was nice. What was I doing here again?
Right, right. Stopping the annihilation of all Gamindustri. Guess going to the Basilicom would be a good idea and I think I can retrace my steps to the station from here...
Nope, shit. I'm lost.I guess I never really wandered around yes, as I either had a specific goal in mind or wasn't in the slap bang middle of it. Sure, the world is technically at stake here, but I'm sure that as reasonable adults, Blanc and Vert can sort out their differences diplomatically.
Well Vert probably could. Whatever, not meddling in global politics today.
The streets were fairly packed with both Leanbox natives and people of other Nations walking along, chatting amicably. Seems that I ended up in a shopping district. You know the ones, two rows of shops on each end of a wide pedestrian area, perfect for window shopping with some trees and benches around just to give the place a little more life. I honestly kind of regret not bringing Nepgear, because this would have been a great time to talk.
I sat down on a nearby bench and contemplated. For the first time in a while, I truly had some time for myself. Despite the crowds of people, it felt tranquil. Regardless of everything though, there was one question that I never figured to ask myself during the week or so I've spent here.
Am I happy?
Sure, I've lost everything. I never got to say goodbye to my family. Any friends I did have would surely miss me for a while at least. But…
Well, I guess I'm a hero now? I have this sword, some credits in my pocket and some healing items. I've even gone on a few quests, no matter how fake they or trivial they were, they still got me experience. That and despite everything, I've somehow befriended the actual fucking goddesses of this world and even kind of sort of have a girlfriend.
Huh. Guess that was a stupid question to ask. I wonder if some tea would help with things. Getting up, I looked around for a place that sold tea, or looked tea related. Spotting one nearby I of course, walked in.
It was as you expected. Round tables with wooden chairs with leather covers on the seat for comfort. There were a few people in, idly chatting amongst themselves, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Eavesdropping is rude, anyway. Walking up to the counter, I simply ordered the most vanilla tea they had (They had actual vanilla tea, but I just wanted some damn tea without gimmicks.) and headed to an empty looking table when I spotted… Wait…
"Blanc?" I say just quietly enough to not alert literally everyone in the cafe. Blanc herself seemed rather unsurprised. Then again, this was her default expression. Sitting down across from her, tray in hand, I stared into the CPU's eyes. "It's funny. I was just thinking about… Well not you in particular, but… My friends, yes." Nearly let the C word drop.
"Oh, Koei. I would have said I didn't expect to see you here, but considering what you said yesterday, I'm honestly not surprised you're here."
A fair assessment. "Speaking of that…"
Blanc's gaze hardened "I tried going to the Basilicom, but they told me that Green Heart was out. I was almost tempted to activate HDD to prove I was the real deal if they were lying to keep me out, but I didn't want to cause a ruckus."
Looking around, nobody batted an eyelid, too involved in their own conversations. "Well, long as we're talking politics, what's your stance on the Console War?"
"Stupid, drawn out and only exists to keep news outlet rumor mills going with "THE NEXT BIG THING THAT WILL LET X CONQUER THE CONSOLE WARS!" It's honestly surprising it has gone on for this long, but that might have been fear due to looking weak due to pulling out first. I know that's why I continued this farce."
Huh. "I suppose that makes sense. I doubted this whole competing for shares thing was worthy of a war from when I first heard, but now that I've heard it from a CPUs mouth… Well, validation is nice."
Blanc smiled. "I hope you're not just agreeing because of what happened last time we disagreed on something like that. Though from what I heard that is the general consensus, but I don't get to hear much chatter from citizens, at least not while in HDD."
"Ah it's alright. Still though, did you really come here just for what I said?"
Blanc's smile faded and a small blush started to form. "I-it's just weird to hear something like "CPU Green Heart thinks you're cute!"" Blanc turned her head away, not looking at me directly. "We're supposed to be enemies, but if she's being so open with such things, I might as well give her the same benefit of the doubt."
Hmm. "So, have you seen her human form? Do you have any thoughts on it?"
"Not really. The only person I could even think of matching her… Assets is a cosplayer I saw not long after the Console Wars started. I was at a convention, showing off my new novel and trying to get people to buy it. It failed miserably, but I digress. This tall, blonde woman dressed in a fantasy outfit came to my booth with a copy of my novel in hand. She said she loved it. I was so excited at the prospect of someone liking my book that I… Well, I use an alias for writing, but I signed the book as Blanc, CPU of Lowee. I'm surprised she took it after that, but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to have a bigger smile. She called me a "cutie of a writer" before she left, though. That's the only person who I can think of who both likes my book and would know of my true identity outside of Mina."
"That does explain why she knows your human form. So I assume you haven't seen Black Heart or Purple Heart in their human forms either?" God, calling them by their goddess name was annoying, but she genuinely didn't know who these people really were.
"We've clashed a lot, but I've never seen them outside of their CPU forms. Hell, even during the formal declaration of the war we all decided to meet up in gowns in our CPU forms just to confirm that we were in fact doing that. In retrospect that was frigging stupid, but I think I still own mine. That and at the time it was kind of a big deal, so I guess I can forgive myself a bit."
"I suppose." I replied, finishing off the cup of tea and placing the cup on the tray. "I'd ask to come with, but this is a matter of Lowee and Leanbox, not something for me to get involved with." That and I needed to test whether events really could happen without me around. One of those traits was called Protagonist Aura, dammit.
"Oh? Thank you." Blanc simply replied, taking the ceramic pot and refilling her own cup. "I feel that Green Heart won't be back for a bit anyway, so this is very generous of you."
I waved her off. "Ah no worries, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Mina seemed quite worried when she called Histoire."
Blanc nodded. "Mina has always had a bit of a worry spot for me. I shouldn't put so much stress on her, especially now with the twins." Blanc took a sip then stayed silent, contemplating as I took this chance to leave. A little unfair perhaps, but this matter is not mine to resolve.
That and if shit went down I really did not want to be in the middle of it. Can you blame me for having some sense of self-preservation? That and as far as I was concerned, my job here was done. Long as Blanc isn't trying to murder people, Leanbox should be fine.
Ahh, the smell of victory. Well, it's just fresh air, but knowing that the world might see the CPUs unite… It filled me with hope. Strange feeling, considering that just yesterday I was fighting for my life alongside a goddess and a girl who I can call a friend against a giant mechanical lobster and now I'm simply wandering around a city, taking in the sights and sounds.
Everything leading up to this has been worth it, just so I can finally explore a little bit. I had a comfortable amount of credits, a place to crash and not in immediate danger. I haven't felt like this since first leaving Toadstool Town, actually.
Heh, that feels like so long ago. When my immediate problem was just getting to the Basilicom. Here I just had a casual conversation with a frigging goddess like nothing was amiss. This world is weird but… I'm sorta liking it?
I dunno, there's just something charming about this pseudo-fantasy setting with modern conveniences with goddesses who can transform into spandex-clad powerhouses, who still live (almost) like normal people with their own wants and desires.
Honestly, if there was a video game or anime series where you played as these back home, I would have been way into that shit. Maybe not from the perspective of me, though.
Ah, the sound of shattering glass. Wait, what?
"HELP, THIEF!" cried a random NPC, like this was some sort of 1930s-era bullshit where women can't just grab a bat and beat the utter shit out of someone robbing them and would have to rely on A MAN to.
Then again, I'm in a world where the only competent males are from other dimensions, I have no room to talk. Pulling Serenity from my inventory, I went to the source of the distress.
It was as you expected, one of the many stores in the district, but with a smashed front window and a distressed owner. Looked to be a local pastry shop called "Arbiter's Poundcakes" with the slogan "Where the Master Chef finishes the Pie(ght)!"
You know with names as forced as these it makes me wonder if I'm missing a joke or something. Still though, I had a shopkeep to console.
"Excuse me miss, but I'd like to ask what happened?" I attempt to be as kind as possible, given her current state. It would be difficult due to the large sword in my hand, but what's impulse to do?
"S-some fiend broke in and took my poundcakes! She took 40 cakes!"
And that's terrible. "Where exactly did she go?"
"I-I think she headed down the street, but she went too fast for me to notice her afterwarrrrds!" The woman broke down in tears, but I had an inkling of who might have done this.
It'd better not be.
Rushing down the street, dodging hapless civilians wondering what the hell was going on, I looked around for any fallen cakes that could lead me on a pattern. Yes, I was in fact, that desperate for a way to sort this out. I mean, if you steal 40 pound cakes, you're probably using some form of trolley. And if you need to get out in a hurry…
Aha! A pound cake! The bread-like dessert was being munched on by the local bird populace, but it was still usable as a guide. Still rushing down the street, there were a few people looking at the wasted pastries with confusion, wondering what the hell caused this (and why I was following them.) but there were more important things to do.
It took a few minutes and a few more poundcakes, but I eventually spotted my target. No guesses as to who would stoop to petty theft, it was in fact, Linda. Of course, her dragging a trolley filled with cake was slowing her down significantly, so that would explain quite a bit on how I was catching up.
Aiming Serenity right at the trolley, I silently prayed that this would go as planned. "You'd better stop right there, criminal scum! FROSTBALL!"
As expected, a ball of ice shot out of my blade and hit… the leg of the trolley, freezing on it but not slowing it down as I had hoped. So I shot a few more Frostballs, each one missing spectacularly. At least I wasn't using Frostblasts for this, those may have been overkill along with the recoil slowing me down.
Linda for her part either didn't notice or didn't want to acknowledge my presence, so I had to keep up the assault of Frostballs. You'd be surprised how inaccurate your shots are when you're both moving at the same time.
About a dozen or shots later, I finally nailed the right wheel of the trolley and caused it to slow down the wheel losing momentum from the ice suddenly appearing on it. It was more akin to it hitting a bump that it was stopping, but it gave the weighed down trolley enough of a boost to tip over suddenly, taking Linda and the poundcakes with it.
I'm sure poundcakes weren't that heavy, but gravity is a cruel mistress, as is momentum. I think it was scientifically accurate at least. I wouldn't know, I flunked Physics some point after learning of the 3 Laws of Motion.
Right, the culprit. Linda for her part didn't seem too hurt by her sudden trip, but I wasn't really bothered about her physical state, because frankly this was just taking the piss after a string of kidnappings.
I carefully placed my foot on her chest to keep her down as I finally spoke. "This shit again, Linda? I know you're a petty thug but this is low, even for you.*
She did not take kindly to my remark, if the pipe to the leg was any indication. Right, her bootleg UI Gloves. Now the tables had been turned, as Linda forcefully put her boot on my chest. Honestly it felt more like a clamp than anything. Also ow.
"God, I can't even get some pastries without you breathing down my neck." Linda stated, clearly sick of my shit. Feeling's mutual.
"Less breathing down your neck, more that you made a giant ruckus and stole forty poundcakes. Forty! That's as many as four tens!"
"And that's terrible." Linda muttered, raising her pipe to the sky in a dramatic fashion. "But not as terrible as this will be!"
Metal clashed against metal as I raised Serenity to block the incoming attack. "You're as dense as that pipe and only half as good looking." I pushed off the pipe forcefully, causing Linda to fall back enough for me to face her standing up. "So let's do pipes all over the world a favour and fix your plumbing!"
Linda facepalmed. "You know, that made my breaking kneecaps joke seem like high art. Do you even think before you say things?"
"Nope!" I took advantage of her facepalm and smacked her across the face with Serenity's blade, careful to minimise the use of the edge as to not slice her face. I wanted her incapacitated, not dead. (Unlike her I don't look like a pipe.)
Linda for her part decided to take a cue from golf and go for a swing. Ducking underneath as she prepared a second strike, I decided to use the spell portion of my spellblade for a moment. "Time to blow you away! AIRBOLT!" Before my eyes, a blast of wind shot right at Linda's stomach, knocking her back further and causing her to drop her pipe. Now was my chance. I ran towards her, sheathing Serenity in my inventory, before pulling back my arm and aiming a right hook right at her face.
Now I was no boxer, so I never truly learned how to throw a decent punch, but the force did at least knock Linda over. Now the problem was Newton's Third Law of motion; Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Needless to say with the force of that punch combined with my lack of proper training, that force came back to immense pain. Ow. Ow. Ow. I'm pretty sure if I didn't have at least some Strength built up from levelling and generally sword fighting that would have broken my hand.
Taking a moment for the pain to ease, I looked down at Linda. It seemed that my punch worked, as she was in fact, down for the count.
Phew, that was rough for a moment. Never really got into street fights before, so it was a good thing I had Serenity by my side.
Ahhh, I'm such a scrub. Relying on magic in a street fight. Still no worse than those fighting games where you throw fireballs out of your hands and levitate off the ground while breathing fire and stretching your limbs, right? I forget the name…
"Ah, Koei. It seems you have ahem captured our cake culprit." Came a somewhat familiar yet different voice. The figure floated down and-
Oh god that's indecent. Put it away, woman! On further inspection, this girl did have clothes. Very few, but enough to cover her more… Delicate parts to say the least. This outfit was a borderline swimsuit, with only the arms and lower legs being fully covered, leaving not much imagination needed for what this figure's figure looked like. Not that it took a lot in the first place but…
Right, the face. Amethyst eyes greeted me with that intimidating grace of someone who I recall having the same aura, just intensified. Her hair was a magnificent green, not too dark and not to light, but flowing most of the way down her body in a messy ponytail. It had some flow at least.
Wait a second… Green hair… No modesty… that intimidating yet inviting aura…
"Pfft, told you he wouldn't recognize you on first glance." White Heart snarked as she floated down next to… Well, Green Heart. "Seems that the intervention of CPUs was as overkill as I thought. A shame, I was hoping for a brawl."
I sighed in resignation. "As violent as ever, Blanc. And Vert, apologies for not recognizing your CPU form. Your modesty in that form is… Questionable at best."
Green Heart suppressed a giggle. "Well, we got word that the wanted kidnapper "Linda" was in the area, so we decided to come and apprehend her ourselves. It seems you already did that for us."
I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. "I was just in the area. Uh, why is there a crowd surrounding us?"
In our brief exhcange, a group of people had gathered, probably gawking at the two "fighting" CPUs exchanging pleasentries instead of trying to murder each other.
You know what, I get why now.
"Ah, we were just about finished negotiating our little treaty between Nations when we heard the news, so I suppose now's as good a time as any, right White Heart?"
"Now or never. Citizens of Leanbox, Lady Green Heart and I, Lady White Heart of Lowee have come to an agreement that the hostilities of the Console War need to stop. So, we are signing a formal treaty that states that we will cease actively fighting for Shares."
"Agreed. These Wars have caused great strain on both of us, both in our work and in our personal lives. While we won't be working in an alliance per se, we will be ceasing hostilities towards each other. I hope that Planeptune and Lastation's CPUs can follow our example and that we can stop this arbitrary war once and for all."
The crowd seemed to take it well, considering the whooping, cheering and cries of "Flat is justice after all!" "Thank you Lady White Heart!" and even a few shouts of "I ship it!"
While this was happening, a group of Leanbox guards clothed in green escorted the unconscious Linda away as a less generic woman entered the fray, seamlessly navigating the crowd without disturbing a hair on any of them.
Her outfit seemed to be some combination of a maid outfit combined with practical knight amor. Rather shockingly, her main colours were black, white with accents of red rather than the typical Leanbox fare of green and white. The only thing green on her in fact where the emerald in her bow (Which was hard to spot due to her… assets.) and her similarly shaded eyes, which bore into my soul while at the same time analysing everything around her. She seemed to be capable of dodging bullets from the look of her eyes. Also, like everyone in this world apparently, she had no pants. Why is it that everyone aside from IF in this world refuses to wear pants? Then again, she seemed to not care as she would probably suplex anyone taking more than a quick glance.
"Koei Tech. Please come with me." She stated in no simple terms. I of course, obliged, grabbing her hand as she- OH GOD OH FUCK OH GOD
Somehow we made it through the crowd without touching anyone, again. The woman, satisfied with her handiwork, decided to chat a bit more. "Apologies. I am Cave, member of Leanbox's Regal Regiment of Defense." Her tone reminded me of Purple Heart, that tout, all business, no-nonsense manner of speaking was quite commanding.
"Thanks. So uh, what did you just do?"
"Brought us out outside of the crowd so that I could tell you that Lady Green Heart would like you at the Basilicom as soon as you are able. That and I would like to thank you."
Eh? "Thank me? I haven't even done anything for you…"
"I took the day off when the 5pb. incident happened. I was assigned to be her bodyguard and failed in that respect. I heard from Green Heart that you helped find and rescue her without much incident. Know that I will ensure that this "Linda" will serve her time, even if I can't guard her. Consider it my dues for my failure."
"I uh… Thank you but there's no need to repay me. I was trespassing and caused property damage. Honestly, just bringing me from that crowd was enough."
Cave's eyes glinted. "Oh, I am still taking Linda's case personally. I just thought that after the trouble she's caused you and to Leanbox's new "ally", that you'd be glad to see that play out."
Huh. "Yeah, when you put it like that, it would be satisfying." I mean, she did kidnap both 5pb. and the CPU Candidates of Lowee. That's a pretty big charge, all things considered.
"Excellent. I'll be taking my leave. Thank you again, Koei." And with that, she disappeared into the crowds of people dispersing after the announcement. That girl's a borderline ninja.
Still, I had my marching orders. Onwards to the Basi-
Vrrm, vrrm, vrrm.
I need to put these on silent. Answering the call, who else would it be but the discount ninja and my drinking buddy.
"Hey, IF. Feeling rough?" I joked. I hadn't checked the time, but it must have easily been past noon by now.
"Ugh. Not as rough as you'll feel when I get my hands on you. Why did you let me drink a Piledriver?" IF did indeed sound rough, her voice was quieter and her voice sounded lower. Yup, typical hangover.
"Why did you order one? I wasn't going to share your drink with you, that's kissing by proxy, everyone knows that!" I half-joked. Really though, if I had shared that Piledriver, I probably wouldn't have made it back to the Basilicom. I can still feel the echoes of that hangover from several hours ago, so that being amplified would not be good.
"I… May be a bit of a lightweight." IF blushed, whether from the excess alcohol in her body or actual embarrassment was up to interpretation. It was weird to see the usually stoic and serious girl admit a flaw of hers and even blush. She seemed like a completely different person to the one I met, yet I knew that they were one and the same.
"It's weird seeing this side of you. Not bad weird though, just seeing you blush shows that there's more to you than your no-nonsense side. Kind of like Neptune in a way." I mused, mostly to myself.
"Yeah, a lot of people write Neps off as an airhead, but she knows what she's doing when things get serious. That airhead of hers is on good shoulders, so it isn't the end of the world if she is just her usually dorky self. Don't tell her I said that, she'll get a bigger ego."
"Heh, duly noted. Still, you feeling alright?" I ask with some concern. She clearly rang me for some reason.
"More worried about you, since Gear said you left in a hurry this morning when I called. Thought I'd make sure you weren't concussed. Or worse yet, drinking without me."
"I'd never do that." I lied through my teeth, but I don't know which one I meant by that. "Still, Vert wants me at the Basilicom. You'll see why soon. Be seeing you, IFWeight." I terminated the call before she could yell at me for that terrible nickname. I preferred Stalker anyway.
Still, Neptune's words to me that night on the balcony…
You're the protagonist, Koei. Everything will be alright once you embrace your destiny.
Guess that Protagonist Aura is working dividends after all.
A/N: Who the hell cut into my Author's Note?
(You're welcome! - Neptune)
Ah, of course. I'm reluctant to say this since you've been a pain in the last few ANs, but… Thanks.
(Well, figured I'd cut you a break after the note you left in the Author's Note. A note from the author in the Author's Note. How ironic. - Neptune.)
Huh, guess you can see it that way. Next time, POLITICS! YAY!
(Oh god. - Neptune)