A/N: Phew. This was a chunky one to bash out. Probably could have done with less filler, but filler is what makes these slower paced chapters more fun! Right? RIGHT?
Well regardless, I wanted to do one thing with this chapter and it's rather selfish: Publish it before I turned 23. As of writing (August 20th), that is tomorrow. On the absolute borderline here, I know. But I took the weekend off and I've been having internet issues and I wrote a hent-
A-anyway, yeah. No real reason to bring it up other than to pad out the author's note!
That and I have nothing to note, really. I think my style has changed, but that might just be more focus on what's going on around Koei, rather than skipping to the interesting part.
Whatever, mailbag ti-
Confetti flies out of the bag as a pink horse leaps out of it.
Make a wish it's your birthday! Make a wish because it's your birthday party!
DEMONIC PINK HORSE! FUCK! CALL DOOMGUY OR SOMETHING!
(Nothing wrong with a cameo! - Neptune)
Bah fine. People probably get the reference anyway. Shoves cake down the pink horse's throat to keep her from talking. Mailbag time!
Blaze2121: Hmm, maybe I should steal that. But yeah no THUNDERSTIRKE! Mostly because there's a fine line between a taser and a lethal electric shock. Koei knows this all too well.
Xbox432: This may or may not been hinted at long ago. The seeds of discord have finally sprouted! Ship ALL the waifus!
And yes, punching Linda in the face was satisfying as hell. That was for Uni, bitch!
EnderSoul1401: Ah, don't worry about me. Funnily enough when I published the chapter that was about when my mood started getting better, due to those personal issues being resolved. A weekend of alcohol later and I'm back in business!
As for the second Celestia chapter? Soon. I really wanted to do it this chapter, but it's already ~6k words, That and wanting to publish before I turned 23. I'll try and be more consistent than a fortnight per chapter, but I can't guarantee anything below a week anymore. Not with this story slowly getting more and more reliant on me fact checking things to prevent plot holes. I'm sure in the next few chapters I can start a real conflict that'll drive me to write harder like the good old days of…
Nearly 2 months ago. Man, has it been that long? (Yes, people reading this in the future. I've published all this in the span of 2 months. Behold my no-lifeness and never strive to be me!)
Well, guess that'll do. Now excuse me, I have a pink party pony problem to prevent.
Ah shit. Here we go again. This was the prevailing thought in my mind as I stood in front of the Leanbox Basilicom. Vert wanted me for some reason. If it's something asinine I swear to fuck I'm commiting godslaying. Probably a weapon that could do that. A nice, big and purple sword. Gotta stick it all the way in the-
I'm stalling. The truth is that confronting two CPUs at once is a hell of a prospect. Sure, Purple Heart and Purple Sister happened, but that wasn't with prior notice and knowing who was ultimately behind their HDD forms. This was a whole other kettle of fish.
And those fish were piranhas feeding on my anxiety. Such terrifying, yet majestic creatures. I kind of wanted a few back before this whole mess, just for the novelty of it. Parents didn't approve for one. Surprisingly found a pet shop that sold them, but there were far tamer than I wanted. I wanted fuckers who could eat fingers, but they barely nibbled it. Alas, my plans of supervillainy were once again foiled by reality.
The guards stationed outside of the Basilicom are giving me a weird look now. Well, no time like the present. I slide past the guards with all the grace of well, me as I try to find the room that my doom awaited in. The Basilicom is a big place and I didn't ask for directions, as I never think first. Thinking leads to trains of thought that go uninterrupted for several hours. The term "train" of thought is weird, right? Is the train pulling your thoughts? What happens when you go on another tangent? Hell, does the train stop for passengers or fuel? I wonder what happens when this train derails, do people die? That'd be pretty fucking metal.
"Uh, Koei? You've been stood here and making faces while muttering about trains for… 5 minutes? Are you alright?" Vert's voice took me out of my thoughts (Yes, I did imagine it crashing rather spectacularly. My trains are full of NUCLEAR WARHEADS AFTER ALL! AHAHHAHA! *Ahem.*)
Oh, Vert. "Hi. You uh, wanted me?" I attempted to at least look passable by my own very low standards. I failed, but I tried and that is enough for me.
"Well, I just wanted to invite you to an overnight stay here at the Basilicom. I know you can be very frugal, as your exploits the last time we met showed." Vert winked. She knew.
"Aside from confirming my fears that "Professional Hobo" is a perfectly apt job description for me, why would you want me back here, aside from your eternal politeness which is much appreciated, My Lady." I forget momentarily that I'm talking to my host as well as a physical goddess here. I have to have more tact than I usually do. Though I have 0 tact usually, so a "lot more" is simply "just a bit" for my asshole mind.
"Well, if you insist on having a reason to stay, we are planning to finalize the treaty tomorrow. I was wondering if Black Heart and Purple Heart would be interested. I did see you talk to a black-haired woman on the evening that we first met, after all."
It's official, women in green are stalkers. Here I thought it was over because IF became my girlfr- drinking buddy. Gotta repress that feeling. This is healthy. "I happened to have Noire on my contacts list at the time due to… Injury related complications?"
"Sure Koei, you dog you. Don't think I didn't see you take glances at my majestic CPU form either." She let out a polite giggle. "But yes, if you could be a dear and get in contact with the two CPUs for me? A small price to pay for a night in a Basilicom, is it not?"
Geez, talk about twisting my arm. "Sure. Speaking of CPUs, where's Blanc gone off to? You were together beforehand."
"Ah, she went back to Lowee to deal with "business." She will be back later however. I did invite her here too, for convenience's sake." Vert sipped on some tea that I didn't know she had with a gloved hand.
"Alright then. I assume I have the same room as last time? I'll be needing some privacy for this." I gave a playful glare to the CPU, who didn't seem to mind my smidgen of anger. "With that, I will adjourn for now." I walked out of the room and towards the elevator that led to the sleeping quarters.
Seriously though, why are all the hotties stalkers?
The familiar smell of a freshly bleached bathroom greeted me as I entered one of the guest bedrooms of the Basilicom. It was the same as ever, with only the time of day indicating any real difference in appearance. Taking a look outside, it was a hell of a view. Land of Green Pastures indeed.
A western-inspired nation founded on stealing everything they could find from other cultures, all situated on a small island away from everyone else? I might as well be at home here.
Still, I had business to attend to. Surely Noire would be on her lunch break or something. I have no idea what time it is, honestly. Today's just been so busy that I didn't think to check my wristwa- Oh it's 4:20.
Sudden urge to find some "green pasture" and smoke it aside, I called up Noire on video chat.
"Ah, Koei! You really pick the worst times to call me, don't you?" Noire was more dishevelled and flustered, with paperwork everywhere. Uni was running around, trying to gather as many sheets as possible, along with…
"Wait, what the hell is Nepgear doing in Lastation?" I yell in surprise, causing both Candidates to drop their gathered papers. Oops.
"Well, you heard the news about Leanbox and Lowee's treaty, didn't you?" I nodded. I was there, along with indirectly causing it. "Well, somebody had the genius idea to break in to the Basilicom and make a similar treaty."
"Hey Noire! Ya got any pudding anywhere? What kind of dump is this if you can't even find pudding, for my sake?" Neptune's voice rang out from somewhere out of shot, as Noire slammed her head against her desk.
"I feel so sorry for you, Noire. But can you get Neptune here for something? It's on behalf of Ve- Green Heart." I try to progress the discussion along before Noire lost all of her sanity meter.
"Koei? You crazy harem-protagonist bastard you!" Neptune dropped into view, nearly crushing Noire's spine in the process. "You have Noire's number? I thought you were already seeing IF? Oh! Oh! Are you going to seal her hidden power with a kiss, like in that harem I watched once with the girl who looked totally like Noire?"
"WHAT?" Noire yelled in confusion. I have vague memories of something along those lines, but the various concussions I've recieved make me forget the name. That main girl looked a hell of a lot like Noire, at least.
"Maybe you could cosplay as her at some point, Noire. You have very similar builds." Noire's face looked like it could ignite from embarrassment. Dunno why, but I pressed on. "Well, if you two are already so buddy buddy, you want to come down to Leanbox tomorrow to sign the finalized treaty and end this war?"
"I'm tempted to let this war rage on purely out of spite for the purple-haired menace next to me, but for my Nation and my sister, I humbly accept your invite. I'll drag Neptune here along with me. The Planeptune Oracle said she needed to get outside anyway, at least according to Kei."
"Goodness, why don't we all go? Last time we were in Leanbox, I saw this super neat weapon store that sold guns. You like guns, right Uni? Maybe we can both go see it together!" Uni blushed and mumbled something noncommittally. At the very least the Candidates seemed to be getting along well. A nice relationship so to speak.
"Subtle hinting, Koei." Neptune gave a surprisingly deadpan stare towards me. "I know that UniGear is a popular ship and you're just trying to please the shippers, but this is too much. You have 2 ships already, one of which is entirely original and involves two of the main characters. Sure, Nep Jr. and Uni are more than likely going to be side characters to help diversify the cast a bit, but you can't just ship them right out of the gate, things like this take time and effort and writing skill you clearly don't have! How are you going to justify…"
I let Neptune go on her tirade. I didn't understand what she was saying and I didn't want to. "So uh Noire? You're good for tomorrow?" Noire nodded, not wanting to be drowned out by Neptune's rant against the "writer", whoever he is. "Awesomesauce. Be seeing you Noire. Try not to kill Neptune tonight, will you?"
And with that I shut off the call. God help that poor girl. Breathing a sigh of relief that the migraine inducing Neptune was gone for the evening, I span around on my heel to face the door. "I know you're eavesdropping, Vert. Don't need to be so coy about it."
Silence for a moment, before the door opened to a blushing Vert. "I just wanted to ensure it went well…" Her usual polite demeanor was replaced by one that I'd see more from Blanc or Nepgear. I almost felt sorry for her.
I rolled my eyes. "Alright, alright. Don't give me those puppy dog eyes. I've had worse things done to me by a CPU. Now excuse me, I'm going to go get a drink…" I started to walk out of the door, but Vert didn't move an inch.
"Sorry Koei, but I need you to be sober tomorrow." Vert folded her arms underneath her chest, causing her assets to jiggle slightly. It's amazing how she can go from shy puppy to big dog in half a second.
"Woah, woah. Nobody gets in the way of my crippling addiction. Not even me." I square up, closing my glove-clad fists and starting to dance like a boxer, ready to fight Vert for the right to party.
… What the hell is wrong with me? Immediately stopping, I just looked at Vert for a moment. "I may have a problem."
Vert shrugged. "After tomorrow, it's not really my problem outside of you being my friend. Even then it's not that bad yet. At the very least you can focus on your job before drinking."
I shrug back. "I suppose my liver would thank me for one day off. I still need to go out for uhhh… A suit, yes. Can't be rocking tracksuit bottoms at a meeting that will determine the fate of the world as we know it, can we?" I gently shove past Vert and head towards the exit of the Basilicom.
"Well, you won't be there, as the meeting is CPU only, but the sentiment is appreciated." Vert clarified as I waved her off and headed into the late afternoon Leanbox.
"So does this suit have any sort of protection against dragon attacks?"
I've been at this suit store for over an hour at this point, trying to find the perfect monkey suit for tomorrow. Even if I wasn't going to take part, I was going to be maliciously compliant with the dress code. Even if it drained my savings.
"Well, not necessarily sir, but it is fully compatible with your UI gloves, meaning that the neon light on it is fully adjustable to your liking! For instance if you need to conduct business in Lastation, you can simply swap it to "Cool Kei Blue" instead of "Warm Chika Green." Same for Planeptune and Lowee with "Wise Histoire Purple" and "Calm Mina White.""
"I see. Is this feature on more casual clothing?" I asked curiously. Sure it wouldn't solve my lack of clothing options, but it'd be nice to have a rave party shirt. You never know when you'll need to blind people with a sweet rave party from your chest.
"The technology, much like the UI Gloves isn't really consumer level yet." The clerk admitted sheepishly, trying her best not to lose the sale. "Though on the plus side, if you buy this, you'll only need one suit for all occasions! Isn't that the economy friendly way?"
I wobble my hand in a so-so manner. "Well, I plan on wearing this once, maybe twice in my life. Can I make the neon switch rapidly?"
The clerk thoughtfully put a hand to her chin. "You know, you're the first client who has asked about that. I suppose if you switched colours fast enough you could theoretical-"
"Sold." I state simply. "How much wallet crushing do I need to do?"
The clerk looked surprised. "5000 Credits?"
Expensive, but cheaper than I thought it would be. "Sure, sure. Scan my hand or whatever." I hold out my hand for the clerk to scan at the checkout. It gave a beep and a green light before a message popped up:
Item Acquired: Fancy Neon Suit
Look like a less boyish version of Kei. Comes in four colours that can be adjusted on the fly! Pants and boots included.
Equip Now? *Y/N
And thus, I was equipped with a new suit. Looking at my new garment, it was similar to Kei's outfit, although it packed a lot more neon into the design, specifically down the arms and legs. The torso area was more focused on the tie and buttons with a white undershirt than it was on fancy glowing technology. The boots were a neat touch too.
"Hey, thanks. Sorry about being pedantic about the questioning, it's just my first suit that I actually wanted to buy." I admitted, before the clerk gave me a thumbs up.
"It's no problem sir. Any sale is a good one for me. Good luck on your meeting! Try not to cause a world war!"
As I left, I realized that I sorta kinda did confess to that entirely by accident. Whoops. Oh well, I had a fancy green suit now. Or it could be blue! Or purple! Or white!
Ah, the possibilities are infinite. As long as infinity is less than four. I should check my balance while I'm out, actually…
Koei's Balance: 5000 Credits
Nice. Time to invest in some armor.
Well, armor is a bit of a stretch, as I just blew most of my budget on a new suit. Oh well, half the populace seem to crave panty shots, so it's not like clothing that also serves as armor would be a big market.
No, instead there's those fucking bracelets again. Granted I'm only at the General Store, but it's a skip and a jump away from the Basilicom and Leanbox was turning into an orange box. And I didn't have portals to help me out with this either.
Still, needed to pick one. Seems these things didn't stack either, so I could still have my wristwatch on my dominant hand with the bracelet protecting my less dominant one. I gunned for the one with the most "Vitality" over "Mentality", as most of my problems so far have been taking hits to the face. Perhaps if I was more of a far away supporter, I'd give myself more "Mentality", but that's already pretty high, I think. At least if I means what I think it means.
Still cost a good 4000 Credits, scamming bastards. This left a small reserve supply of cash in my inventory for at least the next day or two. Time to waste it on alcohol!
What, you really think I wasn't going to drink? Not tonight, oh no no. This is for tomorrow. Buying a water canteen (One of the ones you can easily hide inside a breast pocket, which my new suit had some of.) and filling it with the cheapest whisky Credits could buy, I was prepared for the hell that was the world of global politics.
I'd save the suit for tomorrow though. Swapping back to my usual duds (Now that I have two distinct "sets" of clothes, I can use the UI Gloves to swap between them, much akin to equipping and unequipping Serenity.), I headed back to the Basilicom, proud of my reckless spending.
I wonder if I should shower, too. Go the whole nine yards for this.
Well, I didn't see Vert on the way back to my quarters. A shock, considering my earlier assumption that green women are stalkers, but assuming makes an ass out of u and me. At least that's how I think it goes. Details.
The Basilicom had all en suite bedrooms, so my room did in fact, have a shower in it. Hooray for technology or something like that. Before I shower though, I should go find the nearest washing machine. These clothes sadly do not clean themselves after entering my inventory. That would make the UI Gloves a bit too convenient, I guess.
Walking out of my room, a pile of used clothes in hand (I wasn't naked. Not only did I still have the suit in reserve, but I still had my Planeptunian clothes on from way earlier in the week. Or was that like… 3 days ago? Man, time is getting harder to track with how much is happening in each day.
Regardless, I eventually stumbled into a room full of washing machines. It was like a laundromat, but there was no fee. Just slap those fuckers in, take off my own clothes, slap those in and…
"JESUS FUCK KOEI ARE YOU TRYING TO GET DONE FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT OR WHAT?" Blanc's voice yelled from nowhere, as I frantically attempted to put on my spare set of clothes to no avail. UIs are hard to navigate in a panic.
After what felt like a minute but was probably more like 7 seconds, I changed into my newly acquired suit, my face burning crimson at the abject horror I had caused the poor CPU. I didn't even want to face her, so I simply put on the washer and left, face down and head in my hands. At the very least my hands were getting a good warming too.
"Koei? You didn't answer my question." Blanc's voice was like a mother scolding her child, rather than the angry warpath yelling of the cuss fairy I was used to. Honestly I'd take an axe to the face right about now if I could.
"I-I did not realize you would c-come in at the time I was using th-these facilities, Lady Blanc." I attempted to keep my composure, as I slowly turned towards Blanc, her face just as tomato red as mine.
"Well, I didn't see anything below the waist and I stood behind you, so no harm done?" Blanc tried to rectify my nervous shuddering with her attempt at a soothing voice. She needed to work on that.
"No harm done. Let us never speak of this again." with a curt nod, Blanc shuffled around a bit, before opening up and reaching into a different washing machine, pulling out some clothes of hers. They were all the same outfit, aside from some cyan fabric that looked like a fancy gown of sorts, but was obscured by the fur hats and jackets.
"These things should take 10 minutes total to wash and dry your clothing. I was just busy with Vert, so I left these for a bit longer. Feel free to wait in here, I know you know have nothing better to do." Blanc going for the precision strike on my feelings for maximum damage.
"Uh, okay. I was going to stay here if it took that long anyway. But thanks for the hurt feelings?"
"I need eye bleach, you need emotional bleach, it all works out for us." Blanc stated simply before leaving the room, clothes in hand. Leaving me alone once again.
If circumstances had been different, I think we would have been in a relationship rather than IF and I. Truly the darkest timeline.
Still, that left me with a whirring machine, waiting for my casual clothes to be cleaned. At least the suit was comfortable, no wonder Kei wears these. Combining comfort and fashion into one perfect package, god I love technology.
… Man, it's taking a while for these clothes to be washed. I know Blanc said it'd take ten minutes, but I'm impatient, dammit.
Huh, thought that'd trigger a flag or something. You know, when you say that it sure is boring around here then shit goes down almost instantly?
Ding!
Oh, there's the washing machine. Opening it up, I was blasted by warm, humid air. This wouldn't have boded well if I didn't take the chance to feel my warm and dry clothing, just like it had been in a dryer. Technology. Is. Amazing.
Slotting my casual clothing into my inventory, I then took the opportunity to equip my Lowee tracksuit bottoms and my Planeptune top. Yeah, I still didn't get a replacement for my ruined jacket/shirt. Too busy destroying robot lobsters and drinking. Still, they were comfy and easy to wear, and would carry me to my en suite bathroom with ease.
That would be the case if I didn't nearly bump into a small blue lump. Thankfully the lump stepped back, allowing me to see that it was that girl from yesterday. I think she was the one in the chair? Either way, she looked petrified and I should probably approach this with the most tact I have without simultaniously looking like a creep.
Bending down to one knee to meet eye to eye, the girl backed away more. Either Blanc told her not to talk to strangers or she is straight up that scared of new people.
"Hey kiddo." I utter in my most "I am not a molester voice.", though I think I missed the not part. Oh well, in for a penny… "You lost?"
The young girl nodded. Seemed to not be a public speaker, then. "B-Big Sis said she'd be a-around here, but…"
Oh, this is definitely one of Blanc's hellspawn then. "Oh she was. Just collecting her clothes. Want me to help you get back to the bedrooms, at least?" I can get back there, anyway.
The poor girl was trembling at this point, but nodded anyway. "I-if you d-don't mind…"
I stood back up and gave a shrug. "I was heading there anyway. I have Vert's number if we don't happen to find her. You don't mind coming with me though? I am fr- aquai-... Blanc and I are on speaking terms." I gradually clarified our relationship. It was better than it was a week ago at least.
The girl didn't seem to mind, even smiling a bit. "Big Sis gets angry at everyone, I wouldn't worry about it."
Starting to walk out of the room full of washing machines, she followed by my side. She was at the very least able to walk by herself. "So, what's your name, kiddo? I don't think we've met." Blatant lies, but I don't think yesterday counts.
"I'm Rom, one of the CPU Candidates of Lowee! What's your name, mister…?"
"Koei Tech. Koei works for every situation, though." Ah, now we're getting somewhere.
"Mister Koei…" Oh god that was too cute. "Were you the one who saved me yesterday from that nasty th-thug?" We were heading back to the bedrooms now at least, my pace slowed to ensure that she could keep up.
"Hmm, suppose I am. I will admit, "saved" is a bit of a stretch." I rubbed my hand against the back of my head. "Blanc is terrifying when you're in her crosshairs. Her thinking I kidnapped you, hoo boy. That was like staring into Death itself."
Rom's expression fell a bit. "I'm sorry. Ram and I wanted to go play in the snow, but Big Sis said that we couldn't defend ourselves with our lack of Shares and that she was busy, so we ended up sneaking out and getting captured by that… that thug." Rom seemed to get genuinely angry for a moment there. She seems so nice that anger wouldn't be possible from her, but…
"She's going to pay, don't you worry, kiddo." She was the perfect height to pat without having to bend over. The wool of the hat relaxed me, while Rom seemed to calm down from the contact. No wonder these girls wear caps, they're just so pattable.
Realising what I was doing, I pulled my hand away with a quick cough and continued on our way. The bedroom was just around the corner and-
"Rom! ROOOOM! Where the hell did you piss off to this time you little sh-" We turned the corner to find Blanc stomping around, hammer out and that glare from her. You know the one, face covered in shadow, one red eye visible, imminent pain and death to anyone in her way.
So her default mood.
"Don't worry. Cuss Fairy. I found her in the washing machine room." I watched as Rom ran off to embrace her big sister as I felt a sense of accomplishment, before getting the hell outta there. Just because I saved her sister doesn't mean I want to get all buddy buddy with her in that mood. Especially after calling her Cuss Fairy.
Locking the door before she could kick it open, I heard a quiet yell of "Thank you Mister Koei!" before the door opposite to mine shut as well. Phew. I'm somehow getting better at this human interaction thing. Guess I have nothing else to do today but to shower and surf the Internep for a few hours before sleeping.
…
Wow, that worked? Well, time for some Koei time!
The morning light shone in as a surprising lack of a dull ache greeted me as I met the new day with "UGH. FUCKING POLITICS."
Needless to say I wasn't looking forward to today. Changing into my Planeptune clothing, now smelling of lavender, funnily enough, I headed out towards… Wherever the hell I could find some food.
The Basilicom was abuzz with activity, as staff ran two and from various rooms, preparing for the meeting of the year. I hope they get a raise for this.
Heading to the kitchen, breakfast had already been prepared. It was, shock of all shocks, a buffet which was stocked with recognisable Western staples such as cereal in clear containers (with milk of course), various varieties of fruit and-
"BACON!" I yell at nobody in particular, as I headed to the grilled meat of my eye and started to gather up what some call a "Full English" breakfast. Eggs, bacon, some toast, a few grilled mushrooms, baked beans, hash browns (Which is basically mashed potatoes in a large fried wedge. It's weird, but hey.) and of course, Black Pudding. Sure, it's mostly pork blood with some cereal thrown in for stabilisation or some shit like that, but it was nice and a tradition in my home.
No tomatoes though. Fuck. Tomatoes. Smug ass non-vegetable fruit thinking they can be in a salad. SALAD IS NOT FOR FRUIT UNLESS IT'S A FRUIT SALAD, GO BACK TO BEING THROWN!
Still, with all that gathered plus a slice of fried bread because I don't plan on living beyond 30, I sat down at the table and dug into my breakfast. Admittedly I might have gotten a little too much food, but I'm still a growing boy, dammit! Stop judging!
As I was devouring the bacon like a crazed predator, Blanc and her twin sisters entered the buffet room and were just as shocked at the selection as I was. Rom and… The other one (Rem? Ram? Rim? No, Rim is stupid. Goddamn concussion.) being children, went straight for the cereal that looked the most sugar filled to get them as hyper and full of energy as possible. God help Blanc.
Speaking of, she simply grabbed not one, but two cups, filled them with tea then milk and brought them to where I was sitting, placing the tea next to me as she sat opposite. A surprising act of generosity from the flat CPU, but sure.
"This is for yesterday. Not just helping with Rom either, but for that pep talk you gave me. I probably would have chickened out of it if you didn't intervene."
Swallowing my umpteenth slice of fried pig, I elected to respond in the most Koei way possible: Not taking praise in any way whatsoever. "Nah, I just got in the way, honestly. The Rom thing was also an accident, so don't sweat over it. Thank you for the tea though. I got so into creating a dish from home that I forgot my shot of caffeine." I awkwardly laugh, but Blanc didn't seem to get the joke.
"Still, just in case everything goes to hell and we end up murdering each other at that meeting… It was nice knowing you Koei. I'll trust you to get my sisters back to Lowee safely."
My eyes widened in surprise. "Woah, Blanc. The whole point of this is not to murder each other. What's with the deathbed confession here?"
Blanc shrugged, before taking a sip of tea. "Just in case. I have faith in Vert, but the other two… I haven't seen them outside of their CPU forms and they were pretty adamant about them being the "True CPU", so this might get ugly."
Dismissing her concerns, I continued. "And? You called me a other-dimensional fuckbag when we first met before storming off, yet here we are, discussing this meeting while your sisters get high off sugar." I shake my head before finishing. "You worry too much Blanc, and while that's not entirely unjustified, you need to relax a bit. Hell, after this meeting goes down, spend another night here without the twins."
Blanc blushed before averting her eyes. "N-now Koei, l-let's not get too rash here. I don't think V-Vert would appreciate me crashing here again, not even as h-her friend."
Nomming on a piece of toast, I nodded in agreement. No sense pushing the relationship if she didn't want to. Hey, look at me being the love guru.
We sat in silence as I finished off my large portion of food, contemplating our discussion. After polishing off the last crumbs and swigging the tea in a manner that made it more like a chug, I got up from my seat.
"A pleasure as always, Blanc." I bowed before taking my dirty dishes and accessories and put them in the designated area for them. Rom and Ram (Ram sounded right.) were excitedly discussing how cool Leanbox was, but Vert herself was nowhere to be found.
This was… Bad. I wanted to know where she was, at least. Power-walking through the Basilicom, expertly dodging the various staff, I eventually came across the main meeting room, where Vert was helping out the staff by sorting each seat in an almost OCD way.
"Ah! Vert! Glad I could catch you." I announce my presence, as Vert adjusted her own chair. It was hers because the paper sign in front of it said "Green Heart", evenly spaced from every other chair which had similar placards on. None for me or the Candidates, but that might have gotten a little tight.
"Ah, Koei. I was just doing some last-minute prep work for the meeting. I was going to meet the visiting CPUs myself, but I'm a tad behind on things. Could you go down to the subway station and meet them for me?"
Time to shine. Equipping my suit and switching it to "Warm Chika Green", I showed off my new purchase. "You like it?"
Vert chuckled. "I didn't expect you to go out and buy a suit. But yes, that will help a bit in making you stand out at the station. Now go on, the next train should be arriving soon." Vert waved me off as she adjusted the position of the water jug placed in the middle of the table.
Poor lass is going to lose her shit when she meets Neptune.
Arriving at the station at the nice and early time of… 9:50am. Sure, whatever. I was ready to greet the visiting CPUs and their respective Candidates, assuming that Noire didn't murder Neptune, at least.
Time passed, I browsed the news articles, but there was nothing particularly noteworthy or enraging. A quiet news day of sorts. People prepared to greet their loved ones at the arrival station or whatever as I just leaned back and took in that damp air. Mmmm, smells like poorly maintained tunnels.
Eventually the train came and among the crowds of generic NPCs, four familiar figures stepped out. Of course these were Neptune, Noire and their sisters, Nepgear and Uni. Nepgear and Uni were hitting it off, while Neptune and Noire… Were less so. Reminds me of when IF and I first started talking honestly, but you know, with more enthusiasm from one party.
I'm sure this isn't foreshadowing anything.
"Ah, CPUs and Candidates, welcome to Leanbox." I greet in my most nondescript, polite tone. My suit threw them all off for a moment, but they eventually recognised me.
"Good morning Koei." Noire was the first to chip in. "Did Green Heart not want to come greet us?" She asked, a hint of worry in her voice.
"Quite the opposite. She really did want to, but got caught up in last minute preparations. Now if you'll come with me, we can go straight to the Basilicom."
I turned around, ready to lead the ragtag group when I felt a tug on my suit. Turning back around, it was Nepgear, surprisingly.
"Uh, Koei? Uni and I were hoping we could go… Explore Leanbox by ourselves? Uni hasn't been here before and even I've only been here once, so…"
I was going to say something along the lines of "go right ahead, you're not invited anyway", but Noire stopped me. "You can do that after we ensure that our Nations won't break out into war. Just for safety's sake." Noire turned to Neptune, who was fiddling on her phone, completely oblivious to our antics. "Then again, if it all goes to shit, Neptune will certainly die first in the conflict. Feel free to become the second CPU Candidate of Lastation, Nepgear."
Wow, dark. Neptune didn't even miss a beat. "I uh… First Bla- White Heart and now you Noire. You really don't think this will go well?"
Noire folded her arms. "Well, not with Annoy-O-Tron over there, no. Casual disdain for my rival CPU aside, I need to be prepared for anything."
"Anything except some hobo sleeping on your border and talking mad shit about your fashion sense?" I shot back, causing her to blush.
"Y-yes. But I have a plan for that now too, smartass!" Norie basked in her own smug aura as I placed a hand on my face.
"Alright, come on. I'm sure Green Heart is worried sick and White Heart is… Probably being herself." I motion for the group to follow me, taking particular note to distract Neptune from her phone for two seconds.
Girl seemed quiet today, for some reason. I'm sure it's just nerves.
Back in the Basilicom (The guards were forewarned and let us in without issue.), we made our way to the meeting room Vert was in before. However, the door was shut and a sign was placed on it:
Peace Negotiations: 11am
CPUs Only!
Feel free to change into your fancy CPU gowns in the en suite bedrooms provided. Your sisters are also welcome to use the facilities as they please.
Vert
Oh my god she used her name and not "Green Heart". Suppose it had to come out at some point.
"Well ladies, you heard… Read the sign. I'm not leading you to your bedrooms, you can make it from here." I shrugged before turning to the pair of Candidates. "As for you two…"
I was interuppted by a dull ache in my head. Strange, I didn't drink last night. Falling over, I greeted the floor with a strange sense of nostalgia. It was comfy at least. Maybe I should sleep…
Kick
"Ow." I was brought back to reality by a swift kick to the leg. Dragging myself upwards, it seemed that Noire was the culprit, as she was the closest to me. "Just like old times, huh?" I ask, jokingly referring to our first encounter in Lastation.
"RAM! How many times have I told you to not throw hardbacks at people, you little fu-" Blanc came running from around the corner, stopping dead cold when she saw no less than 4 other CPUs and Candidates greet her. "I.. uh… I apologise for my sister's behaviour profusely, Koei. I presume these are the CPUs and Candidates of Planeptune and Lastation?"
I shot a finger gun towards the loli. "Bang on the money, chief. Neptune, Noire, Nepgear, Uni? Meet Blanc. Blanc, meet… Well, you know."
"A pleasure." Blanc's expression turned to a rare smile, as she bowed to her equals. "I must admit, I expected more… Animosity?"
The group behind me looked confused, as Ram peeked from around the corner, looking guilty. Rom was also there, just looking timid as usual. After a moment, they decided to reveal themselves fully, coming up alongside their big sister.
"Animosity shamiosity, who are those cuties?" Neptune spoke up finally, shocking absolutely no-one with her brazen attitude.
"I extended a hand towards them, not quite pointing, but giving a general indication of who I was referring to. "CPUs, this is Rom and Ram. Blanc's sisters and Lowee's CPU Candidates. Yes, that is a plural, I was confused as well."
Various greetings were exchanged, as I waited for the final jigsaw piece to jiggle- fall into place. As if summoning the devil itself, she appeared from the closed door.
"Ah, I presumed from all the noise that something happened. It seems you have all arrived safely. Could Purple Heart, White Heart and Black Heart please come in? We can start this early. As for Koei, thank you ever so much for escorting them here."
I nodded, a small blush on my face. "Just doin' my part for Gamindustri. Consider it a pleasure."
The CPUs walked in and the door closed. A shame, as I did want to see their fancy gowns in person, but it was probably for the best if I left them be.
Speaking of CPUs, this left the Candidates chatting amongst each other excitedly. Rom and Ram in particular seemed to have friends who were closer to their own age group and divine status.
"Well, come on. Let's leave your sisters… And Vert to their business." I motion for the group to follow me. Dunno where I was going, but I was sure to hit something soon.
Goddesses, this meeting is boring. I understand it's for the fate of Planeptune, but this is just reading off the general treaty's laws that we have to abide by. "No competing for Shares." "No attacking other CPUs or Candidates unless it's in self defence." "Don't smack people around with your giant-ass katana because you got bored."
"Purple Heart, are you alright? The busty CPU, Green Heart asked me. I was going to say no, but for the sake of Planeptune...
"I'm fine, just a bit tired."
Green Heart's breasts jiggled as she giggled politely. "I think we're all tired, Purple Heart. Tired of this war at least."
Mutters of agreement came from both Black and White Heart, though Black Heart seemed invested in expanding on every detail in the treaty and amending it. I get that White Heart and Green Heart could have easily rigged it in their favour, but as far as I can tell, even in my bustier, more competent form, that it's a completely fair treaty, barring a few errors that could be chalked down as legitimate mistakes. It's a hefty thing, at least.
I hope Nepgear is doing alright with Koei and the other Candidates...