Nepstation Intro
(Current music: Nepstation)
Welcome back to Nepstation! I'm your host, Koei. Yes, no Neptune today. Despite these being out of canon, she said she needed to go sort some contract bullshit sorted out, so she left me in charge. The author also clocked out, something about a demonic pink horse… I think that's innuendo.
I guess while I'm here and perfectly capable of talking to you the reader, I'd do the mailbag for today. I mean I am a self-insert so I'm basically the fuckin' author. Lazy bastard, can't write a decent OC…
Blaze2121: I was joking about Neptune and Noire being a thing! I swear! They'd probably murder each other before the chapter's out if the author did ship them.
As for my strength… Jeez, I don't even know. I mean, I did punch out Linda a chapter or two ago, but does she even count?
Well, I guess we'll see how it goes in this next chapter…
*reads ahead*
Oh for fucks sake author…
(A/N: Arigato for the birthday wishes)
Xbox432: Oh god, I'm making friends in this hellhole. The prophecy is true, I will become a harem protagonist! Kill me now!
But yeah, they lass at the suit store was super nice about my pedantic questioning. I guess you just get used to it when you deal with adventurers.
TheEnderThief: (A/N: Thank you for both the well wishes and the praise!)
EnderSoul1401: H-Hey. I'm going to do anything to poor NepG. She'd kick my ass for one thing. Then Neptune would. Then Purple Heart and Sister, then Histoire, then probably the author himself.
Still, Protagonist Aura seems to be a blessing and a curse. Life is never boring, at least...
Also me and Blanc would never happen. Lowee's too fucking cold and I can't stand kids who don't make my heart melt like Rom.
Iffy is cuter when flustered anyway.
Endershadow98: (A/N: Go figure, huh? Thanks for the well wishes!)
AkiraArchus: This is reviewing Chapter 1, but hey I might as well thank you for liking my sociopathic past self. I assure you I get better over time.
Though by the time you read this, you already know that. Oops.
Ah well, that's all for Nepstation. See ya and stay Neppy!... Why did I say that.
God, I can't believe I got roped into this. Here I am, slap bang in a harem protagonist's wet dream, leading 2 lolis, one borderline loli and Nepgear around, trying to find something to pass the time.
And I can't think of anything to talk about. Fuck, do I still have that canteen on me? Feeling around my breast, I eventually found the container of whisky and took a drink out of it, Candidates be damned. I didn't ask to play babysitter, after all.
Eventually (And I do mean eventually), we found the Tea Room. Yes, that was the actual name. Inside was a tea set, along with large leather chairs coated in that distinct Leanbox green. The walls were filled with generic paintings of landscapes and the like and the whole room reminded me of an old people's home.
"Well, this seems like a good place to stay for a while." I motion for the Candidates to follow me. It feels weird having authority over these girls, but I Guess it's more of a respect thing than true authority.
As we all sat down, I noticed the kettle had a button on it. Pressing it, it started to heat up. Yes, self-heating kettles that also happen to look like traditional ones. Honestly, if someone back home made this, they would probably make millions. Still, Uni, Nepgear and I were sat, while Rom and Ram wandered around the room. There was a bookshelf in the corner, and as foreboding as the idea of having another hardback thrown at me is, I can keep an eye on it and anticipate this time, at least.
Click!
"Ah, that must be the kettle." I announced to nobody as I leaned forward to pour myself some tea. The cups were smaller than I would have liked, but we weren't going to be here for that long, so it didn't matter that much.
"Uni, NepG? Tea?" I offer, as I still had the kettle in hand. A pair of nods affirmed me to pour some boiling water into their cups complete with teabag. Heh, teabag. A splash of milk in our cups and we were good to go.
"Thank you, Koei." Nepgear said appreciatively. If there's one thing I liked about her in particular, it's her purity. I don't know, it just seems like she can't bring herself to hate. Naive as that may be, I still think it's better than well, me.
Uni on the other hand, was an enigma to me. We've talked once briefly and only met in person today. We haven't even exchanged a word since she arrived. I won't force the issue, but I'll keep an eye out on her. If I recall correctly, she was only "born" a few days ago.
Man, the idea of this girl in front of me who easily looked at least 13 being less than a week old is weird. One of the great mysteries of Gamindustri, I guess.
Contemplative silence. Well, Rom and Ram were having fun in the corner, but aside from that it was entirely peaceful. Almost too serene, as these are the Candidates for Nations that are still technically at war.
Hmm, makes me wonder how Neptune's doing in there…
"For the last time, we don't need to expand on the fact that Planeptune has had the lowest Share count overall for 5 years straight!" I slammed my fist on the table, causing the jug to shake.
"Purple Heart, please." Green Heart kept her motherly demeanour, attempting to keep the atmosphere fine despite my anger. "I know that this seems entirely irrelevant, but we need to chalk down the mistakes of the past so they don't affect our future."
"She has a point, y'know." White Heart chipped in. "My Shares were in the shitter a few days ago and I think this is ridiculous. Give her a break, won't you?"
"White Heart, my former rival. Thank you for standing up for me." I calmed down somewhat, appreciative of her support.
She casually shot a thumbs up before leaning back. "Not a problem. Honestly, I just want this friggin' mess over with. I can't really trust Koei with my sisters, y'know?"
"I'd hate to derail the topic at hand, but I have to concur." Black Heart's turn to pipe up. "I know he doesn't mean any harm, but can we trust him? He's not even from this dimension."
Hmm. I needed a way to bail Koei out of this, lest this sows the seeds of distrust between us. I can't even use the fact he's the protagonist, even though that's kind of why he'll be fine.
"Why do we have any reason to not trust him?" I asked myself, not realizing I said it out loud. Silence fell on the table. Crap.
"Well, he's a bit gung-ho on resorting to the bluntest method, but maybe that's for the best?" Green Heart replied, seeming to agree with me. Accidental success! This deserves a pudding when I get back home!
"If anything, he's shown himself to be a capable fighter who's willing to work with us for almost nothing on his end." White Heart concurred. "He offered to help me find Ram after arresting him on false charges. He didn't ask for pay."
"I suppose you have all have a point." Black Heart's confidence seemed to waver, just for a moment. "It's just that… Well…"
"Well?" I prod, wondering what was up with my neighboring CPU.
"It may be something to do with how I first met Koei. He was sleeping on the border of Lastation/Lowee. I kicked him awake in human form, asking him why the hell he was here. After he was silent for a few moments he well… Insulted my fashion?"
I had to hide my snickering. This was meant to be a serious meeting.
"And after that I may have overreacted and-"
"Slashed him across the chest, causing a big wound that scarred?" White Heart interrupted, shocking the table. "When we worked together, he showed me his chest scar and said something along the lines of "Not the worst first impression a CPU gave me.", so that's a mystery solved."
Huh. "I'm surprised that Koei isn't more apprehensive about working with us." I mutter, once again not realizing I was saying things out loud.
"Well," White Heart continued. "That might be due to me being the first CPU he met. He woke up in Lowee, after all. This was during the time when my Shares were draining fast, so I kept passing out after going HDD. One thing led to another and we ended up sharing a hostel room. We had a brief chat and parted ways. When I went to the lobby, a Guild agent told me who he really was and to try to keep an eye on him for "the sake of Gamindustri." Seems that this meeting was planned from the start."
Mutters of agreement could be heard. "What happened after that, then?" I ask. I know that Iffy was trying to get him to Planeptune because of Histoire's mission, but the details are fuzzy. Man if only he wrote it down into some form, like a diary or a non-fiction book. Or even a fanfiction!
"Well, I ended up asking where he went at the Guild. They told me he went to Aqualentis Lake and I followed suit. He was fighting a Whale and was about to get crushed when I went HDD and saved him. After defeating it… Well, I passed out again. I woke up in the same hostel and we had… A disagreement on my work ethic."
"Sounds like me and Uni." Black Heart muttered under her breath.
"I eventually called him a fuckbag and went back to the Basilicom to check on Rom and Ram. I think he tried to come after me to apologise, but got turned around in the snow and ended up in Lastation instead." White Heart finished.
"That sounds reasonable enough, but we've gone completely off topic here." Green Heart stated sternly. "Though, that brings an interesting point up. Purple Heart, does he work for Planeptune specifically?"
I shook my head. "While he sleeps in the Basilicom and has a Staff ID, he's working for Histoire, not me. I think has a bit of a distaste towards me, honestly." I laugh half-heartedly. "I remember our talk on the balcony of the Basilicom. A bit of a pep talk before his quest. He seemed nervous, unsure of himself. Almost scared, even. But I think he's coming into his own now. It sounds corny, but if we have faith in him, maybe he'll have faith in us too?"
Silence.
"That's… Not entirely unreasonable." Black Heart agreed. "If you pull him aside and tell him he's free to work for whoever he wants to, that might just give him the confidence to keep the peace between us. Plus…" Black Heart's cheeks turned a pinkish colour. "As much as I dislike his attitude, he doesn't treat me like a CPU, but as a person. I can appreciate that."
"Agreed." Green Heart replied. "He does seem to acknowledge our divine status while not being afraid to stand up for himself. As long as he doesn't do anything too crazy, I think he'll be fine without any extra measures."
"Aye." White Heart said, seeming to take the meeting far less seriously. "Given time to sharpen his fighting skills with that Guild agent who I think he has a thing for, he may just become like one of the legendary heroes long ago, before we were even created."
"I wouldn't go that far." I clarified. "But still a competent ally."
"Alright, with that out of the way, back to Planeptune's Shares…"
Nep dammit.
This was honestly really peaceful. Boring sure, but really peaceful. It was a nice change of pace from punching thugs in the face, jamming swords into whatever was in my way or drinking heavily.
… Son of a bitch, I just set a flag. Oh well, maybe it'll pass with no issues this time.
This was not to be, as the door was kicked open rather suddenly by none other than that girl I met earlier, Cave.
"We have a situation." She stated simply. Nothing more, nothing less.
"And hello to you too, Cave. What seems to be the problem on this fine afternoon?" I keep what remains of composure I had in check, I got up from the large leather chair to face down the pantless redhead directly.
"There appears to be a mob outside who want the CPUs to step down. Alternatively they said they would make them step down by killing them all. Their leader seems to be against this, however." Cave said factually, as if murdering goddesses was like talking about the weather.
"Well, can't have that.; Girls, stay here. If they find out you're CPU Candidates, it won't end well. Can we get this door locked just in case?" I turn to Cave, who shrugged. Useful.
Still, I had a mission to do. Running out of the Tea Room, I followed the chanting of "Down with CPUs!" until I hit the entrance of the Leanbox basilicom.
And boy… It was a crowd alright. Easily 100 strong, most with signs with some variation of "CPUS BAD, DEMOCRACY GOOD!" because that worked out well back home.
Sarcasm aside, there was one person in the group who wasn't generic looking. And it was a woman, shock of all shocks.
Long, steel blue hair accompanied her azure eyes, hidden behind a small pair of glasses. She also wore a suit, similar to Kei (Or myself for that matter.), complete with tie. While she had no pants (Again with this shit?), she did in fact have tights on at least, so she was partially covered, but her knee-high white boots sorted that anyway. Also for some reason she was into skulls and had a horn jutting out of her head, for some reasons. Oh well, she appears to be important, let's go talk to her.
Approaching the woman, I saw her start to… Visibly shake? Um, okay. "Excuse me miss, are you the leader of this mob?" I ask curtly. Poor girl seemed to be terrified out of her mind, even more so than Rom or Nepgear.
"Y-yes. I'm R-R-R-Rei Ryghts, the l-leader of the C-Citizens Group. Having t-the CPUs work together would be the d-death of any hope of us citizens having any say in the p-political climate."
"Eh. Still better leaders than some I could name." I shrugged. I mean sure, if we're talking about just Neptune, then I could see the point. But the rest of them are competent enough.
"I don't think you see how having one person oversee everything in a Nation could be bad."
"I do, I just don't care. If a CPU gets out of hand, then it's up to the others to put her down. That'll be in the pact."
"B-But… That's absurd." She meekly replied.
"It is. Just don't think about it too much." My strategy for life.
"That's stupid! You're stupid!" Uh on. She pulled something out of her pocket, before it extended into a staff that was about two thirds her height with a pair of wings on one end. "People like you is why such inequality exists in this world! Annihilating you will be my first step to fixing this discrepancy!"
Huh, she didn't have an aura around her before. Just what the fuck is happening?
"Hey, Cave?" I turn to the RRoD member, who had remained silent throughout our exchange. "Make sure the CPUs are safe won't you? Same with the Candidates."
She gave a salute before running back inside the Basilicom, leaving me alone with this clearly insane woman. Aura aside, she needed to be pacified. The crowd had backed off somewhat, giving us some room to maneuver.
I guess it has been a while since I last fought. Not counting the run-in with Linda. Pulling Serenity out, I steeled myself for this fight, as this might be difficult.
Koei Tech
Vs
Rei Ryghts
Ready? FIGHT!
(Current music: Head Honcho Carpaccio - GaMetal)
"Aight, fuck this. FROSTBLAST!" I fired right at Rei, hoping to end this quick. To my surprise, she didn't dodge out of the way, but used her staff as a bat to smack away the spell towards the crowd. Thankfully no one was hurt, as they ran away before it hit any of them.
Still though, this left the fact that I had pissed off a pretty powerful being. "Is that your strategy? Firing your weak spells at me with no other strategy. I should have expected as much from someone like you."
Um, ow? Well, if she wants strategy…
"AIRSHOT!" I pointed Serenity behind me in order to launch myself at the blue haired menace. This unexpected move seemed to have caught Rei off guard, as I managed to get an overhead strike across her face in.
Staggering back, Rei checked her freshly sliced face, only to find nothing. No blood, no cut… How?
"Useless. Useless useless useless!" Rei started laughing maniacally. I swore I sliced her clean across the face, why is she fine?
Vrrm, vrrm.
Oh for fucks sake. Answering the call, I put a hand to my ear. "The fuck do you want? I'm busy."
"Oh honey, with an attitude like that, it's little wonder how you angered little Rei over there." Anonydeath's voice came from the other end. I have so many questions. "I'll make this quick, then; It seems that another sort of "hole" has opened up in time and space."
"Another hole?" I asked, watching Rei intently. It seems she was at least nice enough to wait, though she was tapping her foot with her arms crossed with a "Hurry up so I can kick your ass" look.
"Yes. You read my logs, you know I'm from a different dimension entirely. It seems that a hole in space opened up again between this dimension and my home dimension. It also appears to be leaking my version of Rei's Share energy, which is flowing into your version of Rei."
Oh that can't be good. "So that means that this Rei has the strength of a CPU?"
"Well, sort of. While she can't transform, her strength is still increased. And from the sounds of things, she still has her CPU personality. What I'm saying is good luck."
"Thanks. But why help me out? I thought we were enemies?" This is a valid point.
"Well, I figured that with the CPUs uniting, it might be best to quit the villainy while I was behind. You foiled my plan, destroyed my base of operations, etc. Just seems like too much work to continue on this path. Don't consider us friends, though."
And with that, the line cut out. Weird. I mean, he had a point, the CPUs all working together would make things much harder. I didn't really destroy his base though, did I?
"Finally." Rei twirled her staff. The crowd was completely gone at this point, leaving just us two to fight to the death.
No chance in hell she's letting me live after this, anyway.
Rei sauntered towards me, staff in hand with the biggest shit-eating grin possible by a human. "Time to die, heathen."
Admittedly, Rei is rather intimidating when she's got the aura of insanity along with most of a CPU's power. Still, I'm not going down without a fight.
"Bring it, bitch." I stated simply before closing my eyes and spinning around, aiming to hit her right hand with Serenity. I opened my eyes after hearing the sound of something being torn and…
Oh. I slashed right at her torso, below her breasts. Her bra was nice, but this was not my intention. Looking down at her ruined clothing and back at me, I could see her turning crimson with rage.
"Y-y-y-you fucking PERVERTED BASTARD! I'm not just going to kill you, but I'll make sure you die as slowly and painfully as I can! Degenerates like you belong on a cross!"
Yeah, yeah. Keep ranting while I charge a plan B. B for Blazing Blade. Setting Serenity ablaze, that was part A. Part B was charging the most powerful spell I know. Rei was still ranting, by the way. I'd say she's gone off the deep end, but I think she was already like that.
Still ranting. Good, good. Just a little more time…
"... And the water is turning the women gay! How else would you explain the massive influx of lesbian romances recently? You don't just wake up one day and think "I want to finger so and so next door" now do you? DO YOU? ANSWER ME!... What are you doing?"
Time to strike. "Burn in hell, bitch! INFERNO SHOT EX!" EX sounded cool. Anyway, pointing Serenity right at her face, I fired a what was essentially a point blank fire bomb right in front of my face too.
Fire hurts. A lot. Thankfully my suit didn't catch fire, but it certainly didn't have flame retardant properties. All I could see for a while was smoke. Smoke everywhere. I'm getting flashbacks to Lastation's air pollution here.
(Song End)
Eventually (and I do mean eventually) the air cleared up to reveal… Oh dear god.
I had accidentally burned all of Rei's clothes off. She was starkers. This was not my intended result. Averting my eyes with a crimson blush burning harder than the actual fire.
Now of course, I couldn't just leave her in that state. We were enemies sure. But I had standards for fucks sake. Even if I called her a bitch in the heat (ha) of the moment.
Well, my clothes were intact. Looking around to make sure nobody else was around, I stripped down to my boxers and socks and threw my used clothes at Rei while I equipped my Planeptune shirt and pants. Phew, situation resolved.
I turned 180 degrees as I waited for Rei to notice that I gave her something to wear. A few moments later, I heard her voice again.
"T-thanks. You can turn around now." And so I did. While it wasn't a perfect fit, she was decent at least. It also seemed that she calmed down. Maybe the aura dissipated after she got hit by the Inferno Shot?
"Well, we may have opposing views and I might be an asshole, but I'm not going to let a lady go around naked." I took out a Nep Bull and started to drink it. That Inferno Shot did a number on me as well. "Want one, Rei?"
Rei shook her head. "No, but thank you. Not just for the offer, but for standing up against me. I don't know what came over me then."
"Neither do I." I lied. Rei was a good girl at heart, I don't think she needs to know about her alternate, possibly insane self.
"W-well, I suppose the Citizen's Group has sort of disbanded after people saw what I did." Rei sighed. "I really don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry."
I shrug "Eh, it's fine. I wish the fight had gone on longer, was kind of exhilarating fighting someone that strong. You were close to pushing me to my limit and that was awesome!"
Rei was shocked, to say the least. "T-that sounds rather… Insane to say the least."
"It might, but I am feeling out of practice." Came a voice from behind me, turning around it was none other than the CPU of Planeptune herself, complete with a fancy, flowing dress. The others were there too. "We heard there was an incident, but it seems you once again resolved this rather handily… If not conventionally. Iffy would not be happy to hear you saw another woman naked."
My eyes widened. "Do not. Tell IF. For the love of all that is holy."
Purple Heart gave a smug grin. "Pudding keeps my mouth shut, Koei. We can negotiate later. For now…"
Purple Heart rather dramatically tore off her dress, revealing her spandex covered form once more, before pulling out her trademark purple katana. "You wanted to duel, correct? Then let's see how you stack up against a real protagonist."
Koei Tech
Vs.
Purple Heart
Ready?
FIGHT!
(Current Music: Let The Battles Begin! - GaMetal)
Purple Heart charged towards me, dual handing her blade in order to get the first strike. I did the sensible thing and sidestepped at the last moment, causing the attack to whiff and leaving an opening.
"Maybe you should chill out! Frostblast!" An all too familiar recoil caused me to grunt as I aimed right at one of her wings. Deja vu?
Unsurprisingly, my shot hit its mark, causing the wing to freeze over. Purple Heart fell over, her frozen wing no longer providing her with the ability to fly.
"Ugh, clever move." Purple Heart conceded, as she got back up. "But I don't need my wings to beat you. I just need my resolve!"
"How droll." I mock yawned as a taunt. "Come on Nutjob, this is supposed to be a friendly spar, not a fight to the death. Save the theatrics for when you're fighting a real enemy."
Purple Heart nodded curtly, death in her power symbol eyes as she went for a second charge. I don't think sidestepping would work this time, so I calculated where she would try to hit me and steeled myself to parry.
This was not a good idea. The combination of her momentum and the fact that she's far stronger and has a larger blade caused a ton of knockback when I attempted to parry, causing Serenity to go flying out of my hands. This was feeling eerily similar now.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Noire (At some point the other CPUs had deactivated HDD) giving a nervous chuckle. Oh right, that. Well, I'll make sure this won't end badly for me this time.
Looking frantically for Serenity, it was on the ground a few meters away. Looking back at Purple Heart, she had her arms crossed with a shit eating grin on her face. "Go on, I'll wait." she said smugly.
"Thanks." I say, giving a curt nod before jogging over to my weapon. It was a bit dirty, but none the worse for wear. Picking it up, I turned to Purple Heart, who was preparing her next attack.
"Time to step things up! Cross Combination!" Thanks for announcing your attack. Once again, she charged forward but this time…
"Fool me twice, shame on me! Airshot!" I pointed Serenity down at the ground in order to dodge the attack. Sailing at least a good ten feet in the air, Purple Heart's attack completely whiffed. This plus the fact that I was now directly above her…
"Incoming!" I quickly enchanted Serenity to the glorified cattle prod mode. "FROM THE HEAVENS I ATTACK, JUST LIKE LIGHTNING! THUNDERSTRIKE!"
I slammed Serenity directly on Purple Heart's body, forcing her to the ground while I landed… Also on the ground. Face first.
"Fuuuuck." I say into the dirt. I attempted to get up before feeling a weight on my back and cool steel on the back of my neck.
"Well fought, Koei. Your ingenuity really does shine through when under pressure. Using Airshot to strike from above was certainly surprising. You may need to work on your landing skills, however. Oh, and I believe I won this duel."
"Rub it in, why don't you." I spat, somewhat bitter about my sudden defeat. "How much pudding do I owe you for this?"
Purple Heart fell silent for a moment. "Ten. Nine for me and one for you for fighting so well."
"Fine." I conceded. "Does that include the bribe for not telling Iff- IF about this?"
"Oh that'll be another ten puddings." she clarified.
"For fucks sake."
After cleaning myself up, I helped get Rei home. She lived nearby and had a spare suit, so I got mine back and we parted on good terms We exchanged numbers, even. Mostly so if she noticed anything strange happening to her again she could call me and ensure she didn't murder anyone.
As for the treaty? Yeah, it was signed. Signed during my fight against Rei, funnily enough. It's a weird feeling, knowing that the CPUs are obligated to be all buddy buddy with each other now, but I think they can pull it off. I have faith in them to be friends.
I mean, if they can be friends with me…
"So, ladies." I announce to the 8 CPUs and Candidates, all waiting outside Rei's apartment. "Celestia?"
Most of them gave me confused looks, with only Neptune and Nepgear understanding what I meant. "Oh, that bar in Planeptune? Sounds fun." Neptune shot a thumbs up at me. "I want to see Koei in his natural environment, after all!"
Murmurs of agreement came from the group. "Small problem though." I rubbed my head sheepishly. "I don't think the Candidates would be allowed in."
"Well, we can go see Compa." Nepgear piped up. Actually not a bad idea. "I've been meaning to catch up with her for a while, honestly, so this is the perfect chance to go see her!"
I shrugged. "Fair enough. She's a nurse anyway, so she probably can look after you for a few hours. Plus I could invite Iffy out, making our party a sixer."
Neptune snickered. "You said Iffy, Koei."
I tried to hide my blush to no avail. "I-it's a cute nickname, shaddup."
"You're cute." Neptune teased as my blush turned into a borderline blaze. Is she flirting with me?
"H-hey, I'm taken ya know." I muttered mostly to myself, but Neptune did hear.
"Not that you make that fact clear enough." Neptune snipped back. "A hottie like me can't resist your protagonist charm~"
Yikes. "Uhhh, I'm just going to go now…" Neptune was nice and all, but she looks highly illegal. I was already pushing it with IF.
"Fine, fine. I bet you're more of a Blanc person anyway. I've seen how you look at the flat fair- YIKES!"
I swung Serenity at Neptune, not really aiming to hit her, but just to shut her the hell up. That conversation was going weird fucking places and I wanted to part in it.
"Jeez Koei, learn to take a joke." Neptune chided, clearly not aware of what sort of shit can go down with those sorts of accusations.
"Whatever. I need a drink." I set off to the subway station, ignoring the chattering of the CPUs behind me.
Compa's apartment complex in daytime was imposing. It is a large complex, just as ivory as the rest of Planeptune's towers.
Still, we were here. There was one problem, however.
"Where in the seven hells does Compa live?" I looked at the various buttons that would ring up the assigned door. Glaring closer, one of the buttons was marked with a C next to a heart. Well gee, wonder who that belonged to.
Pushing the button, the speaker crackled to life. "Hello?" Came Compa's sweet, angelic voice soothed my ears and soul.
"Uh yeah, I got a delivery for one Compa. You like kids, right?"
A squee could be heard over the intercom. "I love kids! Please come up as soon as you can!"
And thus, the door opened, allowing our party to travel upstairs. The apartment complex was you know, a complex. Pretty sterile, boring walls accompnied by sweet fuck-all in terms of interesting decoration. It was terribly droll to say the least and it made trekking up to Compa's apartment a tad boring.
Still, we got there eventually and it was just as drab as any other apartment. Nepgear in a surprising show of courage, went up and knocked on the door. After some seconds passed, Compa opened the door to reveal herself and-
Wow that apartment is gaudy. Well, maybe gaudy is a bit too harsh. It certainly stood out, at least. Pink, peach and orange were the main colours of choice here, just like with Compa herself.
Noticing that I was outside the apartment and alone, I walked in, ignoring my compatriots to look around the place. I was enthralled by how homely this place felt, with medical books on a small bookshelf, some pictures of Compa and IF together on another shelf going back to when they were just kids, A large (As in, around my or Compa's size) laid in the corner, some weird red-ish liquid read for injecting. I suppose she is a nurse, but... Miss me with that, I hate normal sized needles. While there was an appropriately pink couch I could sit on, I knew we wouldn't be here long.
Feeling a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to see my darling, the love of my life… Nah I'm kidding, it's just Neptune, with a pair of puddings in hand.
"Here, I said I owed you one for fighting so well." Neptune handed me over the custardy substance, complete with disposable plastic spoon.
I blinked, before gratefully taking the desert. I did feel a bit low on sugar and energy, so I happily consume the delicious delicacy without delay.
"This is damn good, Nep. Where'd you get this from?" I ask, accidentally using a shorter version of her name. I'm doing that a lot.
"Compa makes them from scratch, of course!" Neptune took a bit of her own pudding with an audible "mmm" of pleasure. Hopefully that would be the only time I heard such things from her.
Neptune seemed to wink at me after that thought. Riiight, she's aware of my inner monologue. Wonder if she's taking the hint, though. Knowing her, she's just doing it to annoy me.
"Mr. Koei, would you mind if I checked your head wound?" Compa interrupted. Right, the lobster claw that she patched up a while ago by now. I suppose it wouldn#t hurt to check.
"Go right ahead." I let the medical professional do her work as she undid the bandage. I'd honestly forgotten that I had that on me. I blame the concussion.
"Seems to have healed up nicely, Ko-ko! Have you been drinking healing potions regularly? Because I may have forgotten to recommend that you do. Helps with wounds quite a lot, don'tcha know?" Compa gave a smile after that. She's too precious for this world.
"I might have had one or two, yeah." I admitted sheepishly. Between fighting for my life on multiple occasions, drinking and worst of all politics, my health wasn't high on the priority list.
Compa still kept her positive attitude despite that. It was rather adorable if naive. I suppose as long as she had someone to look after her, she'd be alright.
"Agh, what's all that noise out here for?" Speak of the devil, it was IF, looking rather tired. Still, seeing her in person again made my heart flutter a bit.
"Oh hey I-Iffy." I say, utterly terrified for no real reason. I faced down a goddess with zero fear, why does talking to IF make me nervous?
Oh right, I like her. And I was mostly sober, so my inhibitions and insecurities were in full swing! Fuck!
"Iffy? Thought you liked Stalker, Koei." IF tilted her head in confusion at the sudden acknowledgement of her more well used nickname.
My hand found the back of my head again as I rubbed it nervously. "W-well, I f-feel like we've moved on from that part of our relati- friendship." I stuttered, but can you blame me? I'm trying to socialize with a cute girl that happens to like me.
IF walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Ya don't need to be so nervous around me. Just relax, alright?" She said in a soothing tone while gently rubbing my shoulder. Seeing this more intimate, caring side of IF when surrounded by people almost made me forget that we were in fact, surrounded by people.
Thankfully everyone seemed to be in their own little bubble. The Candidates sans Nepgear were meeting Compa for the first time (Listening in, I could hear Rom talk excitedly about healing magic) while everyone else was enjoying some pudding and company. It was kind of like the end of a chapter so to speak.
"Huh. I just realized, IF. The Console Wars… They're over." I said contemplatively as I looked at the other two groups. "And I… Helped with that."
"Eh, it was a team effort. It seemed that they would have resolved their differences sooner or later anyway." IF casually leaned back against a nearby wall. "Still, better now than 6 months, maybe a year down the line?"
I shrugged. "Probably even longer, knowing how stubborn Blanc is, how work-happy Noire is and how… Neptune Neptune is."
IF tilted her head "And Vert?"
"Vert had 5pb. on her side. If she wasn't going to outright win, she was certainly going to stick it out the longest. That girl is a hell of an idol."
"I 's'pose. You didn't come here just to grab pudding and catch up now, did you?" She got me there. I do have ulterior motives, after all.
"Just wondering if you have the time to go drinking again, as the world's safe and the CPUs are on board so it's going to be fun." I offered, knowing that IF wouldn't turn down a drink with me.
IF pondered for a moment, before shooting me a thumbs up. "Sounds fun. I assume you're dumping the Candidates on Compa?"
"You know it, Iffy." She knew me so well. I turned to the group of deities… And Nepgear. "Shall we be off, then? I'm not getting any less sober, here."
Mutters of agreement came from the group. "I haven't had a drink in a while thanks to Rom and Ram. Having a night out would be great." Blanc admitted, out of earshot of her sisters thankfully. It must be rough on her, looking after two little sisters, one of which being a little shit.
Jeez, I sound just like her. Maybe I was right on that backup romance thought I had yesterday evening.
I mean, she saw me nude, so…. Actually let's not go down that road. I can see Neptune giving me weird looks again and snickering to herself. Get outta my thoughts, vile wench!
Right, we were just about going, weren't we? Saying my goodbyes to Compa and the Candidates, we left for Celestia, a place that I now realized would have four deities inside of it. Almost like this was fated, somehow.
Bah, I never believed in fate anyway. Protagonist Aura is one thing, I've always felt lucky in some respect. Whatever jam I would end up in would always sort itself out without any major consequences. I guess that's been happening here too.
I'm probably just overthinking this. A consequence of being way too sober, perhaps.
By this time we were all out of the apartment and the sun was starting to set, so Planeptune was covered in a lovely orange glow to compliment the violet neon of the towers. Our little group was split up into 3 sets of 2, with IF and I leading the proverbial charge. Behind us, I could hear Vert and Blanc casually discussing manga, leaving poor Noire stuck with the ever excitable Neptune. Still, it was how our little clique went, so I didn't question it.
"So, how did the meeting go?" IF asked as we headed towards Celestia, trying to strike up a conversation. Unfortunately my flask was now in my other set of clothes so I couldn't get the party started early. A shame.
"Well, I wasn't there, but I was attacked by some mad woman called Rei." I noted, recalling the day's events. "After that I was sort of disappointed due to how anti-climatic the fight was, so Neptune and I dueled. I lost that one." I rather smartly left out the part about burning off Rei's clothes. And owing Neptune like 20 puddings.
"Sounds like you had a fun day regardless of the meeting. I was just at Compa's, filing some Guild related paperwork for Histoire. When you're not actively questing, you tend to have free time." IF admitted, now rubbing her own head sheepishly. "Sometimes I act as practice for Compa on her studies as well, just to help out, you know?"
I nodded in understanding. Sometimes you just help out people because you have nothing better to do. Hell in a sense that's what I've been doing this entire time without realizing.
"Speaking of Histoire, am I getting paid for this whole "Uniting the Nations" shindig? It took a lot of time and effort, you know." I asked inquisitively. Hero work doesn't come cheap and neither does booze.
"Huh? Yeah you should get a payment into your account soon. Don't expect anything you can retire off of though. Not that you would, as you'd probably end up getting bored."
"You really need to stop reading me so hard, Iffy." I punched her shoulder gently in a joking manner. "I'm not that easy to read."
"Call it intuition." IF winked, before pointing in front of her. "We're here, by the way."
I looked ahead and yup, there was Celestia in all of its standing out, retro-cyberpunk glory. Just as nice with thrice the party, I guess.
Entering, it certainly felt cooler than outdoors, but this could just be the darker atmosphere. The CPUs behind me oohed and ahhed at all the stylish lighting around them. IF and I for our part just went to the bar to see a shocked Jill, mid-glass clean
"Didn't expect him to have so many friends, did you? Honestly, neither did I." IF greeted the barkeep as we sat down, the CPUs still wandering around the place. "Give them a minute, I think the aesthetic is new to them. Oh, and two Beers if you don't mind."
Jill nodded curtly, before starting on our drinks. Silence fell between the two of us, as the CPUs continued to gawk at the decorations around them.
Well, mostly Neptune.
By the time we got our Beers, the others were now sat down, with Neptune and Noire to my right and Vert and Blanc to my left. Of course, IF was still next to me, on my left.
"Jill, meet Neptune, Noire," I gestured my hand to the appropriate side of the room as I called out each name. "Vert and Blanc. Otherwise known as the CPUs."
Jill's eyebrow raised slightly. "Huh. Nice. Well, welcome to Vallha- Celestia. What would you like to order?"
Various orders went out. A Blue Fairy for Neptune, a Beer for Noire, a Mulan Tea for Vert (Jill had this on her, somehow) and a Piano Woman for Blanc.
No idea what those names mean either, but everyone had a drink at least. Taking a sip of the cool liquid within the glass, the bitterness covered my tongue and it felt so… Rewarding.
"Ahhh. So this is what victory tastes like." I state factually, because it felt true at least.
"Really? Tastes just like Beer to me." Noire deadpanned, not realizing the metaphor I guess.
"Ahh, my dear Noire, it's a metaphorical taste. You really take things too literally." I replied, earning a glare from the ebony haired CPU.
It softened after a moment, however. "How is your wound holding up? T-The one I caused, anyway." She diverted the topic to something at least twice as awkward, but nobody else seemed to bat an eyelid to that. I guess she confessed during the meeting or something.
Opening up my shirt and feeling around the chest area, there was certainly still a scar there, but it felt like it had healed a lot from when I first saw it… Strangely it didn't feel like it healed any more.
"It's healed a lot, but I don't think it'll be going anytime soon." I sadly confirmed. From the glum look in Noire's face, she still feels bad about the whole incident.
Truthfully, I do a bit too. Thinking back on it, I could have and should have acted better, whether I knew she was a CPU or not is irrelevant.
"Oh don't give me that sad face Noire. Come on, I'll buy you your next drink." I patted her on the shoulder, trying to be friendly. For some reason I feel like I'm forgetting somebody-
Oh goddammit I'm here with my girlfriend and I just offered another girl a drink. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Think Koei, think. What do I do now?
"In fact, drinks for everyone! Next round is on me! Yay world peace!" Some rejoicing was had as I leaned back, sighing in relief. Situation avoided.
Looking to my left, IF gave a wry grin and her eyes said something along the lines of "Don't think I didn't see that moment of panic, cutie."
Ah, those beautiful emerald eyes. Even in the relative dark they shone. It's little wonder I fell for her.
"S-so, how are you?" I try and stay casual. Striking up small talk like it meant something is a perfectly valid thing to do while you wait for the alcohol to kick in
IF wasn't too amused. "Well, I did say earlier what I did, so I'm fine, thank you. The paperwork was a little tiring, but nothing I'm not used to. You?"
"I'm awkwardly trying to make smalltalk with my girlfriend while waiting for alcohol to kick in… Son of a bitch." I realized that I used my inner monologue as outer dialogue. Less a slip of the tongue and more slamming it into a vice.
IF chuckled at that. "I think it's kicking in already, with comments like that."
I rather nervously chuckled back. "Y-yeah, guess I should slow down a little." I stared at the beverage, looked at IF who was talking with Blanc for a moment and proceeded to chug the mug before carefully placing it back on the counter. I needed Dutch Courage for tonight and my whiskey was in my other suit.
Still, I had to wait for the other CPUs to finish up. IF tapped me on the shoulder to attract me attention as she pulled out her phone. She mouthed "I'm going to check on Compa" to me before walking out, but not before tapping Neptune on the shoulder and saying something else. Oh god, oh no.
Neptune grabbed her half-drunk drink and sauntered over to where IF was sat. "'Ello, lover boy. Iffy told me to keep an eye on you, so I suppose now's as good a time as ever to well, ask you something."
I tilted my head in confusion. "Uh, go on?" I turned towards Jill and mouthed "One Bad Touch, please." to her, ignoring the snickering as I turned back to Neptune. I was going to need that.
"Well, it's about your role as protagonist. How are you holding up?" Her tone was surprisingly gentle, much as it was back during that talk way back when.
"Huh, guess I'm doing fine, why?"
"Just checking up. Can't have the protagonist go off the deep end and become the villain. Not only is that cliche but… I'll sort of miss you if you did. Iffy even more so."
Making sure nobody was looking, I gave Neptune a friendly hug. "Everything will be alright once I embrace my destiny." I simply stated before letting her go. She was nowhere near as warm as IF, but I think that got the point across.
Neptune's blush was more than worth it, however. "A-alright then." She cleared her throat and waiting for a moment for her mood to become more neutral. "Right. So I just have this feeling that as you might say, "shit will go down" soon afterwards."
I tilted my head in confusion. "But I can't think of anyone who would oppose 4 goddess and me?" This much was true. Even Rei had some sort of dimensional power leak override her personality and Anonydeath was only in it for Noire, I guess.
"Well, you know how badly paced fanfiction goes. Big new villain shows up, kicks everyone's ass and it's up to the protagonist to show them what's what with an OP super form or something." Neptune read off old anime cliches like she was on TeleVisionTropes.
Then again, this did feel somewhat like an anime. Maybe it was just the crazy hair Neptune has. And 5pb. And Nisa. And Cave. And even Mina. Oh and Nepgear.
"Huh. Well, I'll keep an eye out for any long forgotten goddesses, or whatever. I think IF will be back soon, so it might be best if you went back to bothering Noire."
"H-HEY! I'M FINE ON MY OWN!" I could hear her through Neptune as we both chuckled at the loner.
I don't know why, but calling her a loner is just funny to me. Then again, she didn't seem like the socializing type.
Neptune went back to her side of the bar and ordered another drink. I was too busy focusing on Noire to notice. IF was probably still busy so I had time to ask her about something.
"So Noire… Do you even know IF?"
"Hm?" Noire turned to me. "The brunette who's insane enough to be your girlfriend? I know her name and the fact that you and her and buddy buddy and so much more, but not much else. I usually get my information from Kei, after all."
Right, the silver haired one who implied I did the nasty with Noire that one time. Still kind of funny in hindsight.
"Then I guess you'd be the most unbiased source to ask. Do you think her and I have a chance at being happy together?"
Noire's expression didn't change. Completely unreadable. "From what I've seen of you Koei, you're a man of your word, honest to a fault and get things done not out of obligation, but because you know it's the right thing to do. So I guess if she's into that, you two would make a great couple."
I smiled. Even if those things were exaggerated, I did want to stay with IF. "So can I ask how likely it is that you and Neptune wou-"
"Not a chance in Hell." Noire cut me off simply. "S-she's too energetic and happy all the time, never does her work, everyone likes her, she's got an adorable face…"
I blinked, turned to my Bad Touch and took a large drink of it. I was too sober for this.
"B-But that doesn't mean anything! At all! H-Hey look, it's the Guild Agent, g-go talk to her!" Noire sounded indignant as she turned away from me, as lo and behold, IF was back.
"Compa and the Candidates are fine. They even wanted to stay overnight, so I asked Histoire if we could all crash in the Basilicom. She said yes and would make preparations immediately. So we can easily stay here for a couple of hours and get as you might say, "fucking wasted"."
Man, why are people quoting me so well recently? I must be easy to read.
A/N: Phew, bit of a mammoth length chapter that ends abruptly. But it would have been too long with the full drinking scene and too short without.
Next time; MORE DRINKING! And possibly plot stuff. I dunno, maybe there was too much plot stuff for one chapter and I need more fluff or somethin'.