A/N: Wow, I died for nearly 2 weeks, huh.

Not related to getting addicted to multiple things and laziness, I swear. MAILBAG, GO!

Blaze2121: I have no idea. But considering that the Citizen's Group disbanded and Anonydeath is hanging around, maybe we're hitting the Ultradimension Saga a little sooner than I originally planned. Also Koei fucked up the timeline massively by helping unite the CPUs before ASIC rose to power. Because he's fuckin' Koei and it's not Koei without timeline fuckery!

Endersoul1401: Yeah, imagine life getting in the way of trash fanfiction writing, ha ha. Ha.

Guest: (This is from Chapter 11, but I decided to make it a point to reply to every Review.) PRECISION GERMAN ENGINEERING. The end of Hard Break has a very similar animation to Earthshatter, so having Blanc learn it as a standard skill was fun for a one off gag. Yup, that will never come up again in the next chapter due to spoilery reasons!

Alright that was... Oddly short for a mailbag. I blame fanifc-dot-net. ON WITH THE CARNAGE!

Adorable squeeing from my girlfr- friend aside, I still needed something to do for the rest of the day. Grabbing my canteen and taking a big drink, I tried to figure out what I could do aside from getting wasted.

I turned to the Planeptune streets, then back to the adorable face of IF, still blushing heavily from her fit of adorableness.

Oooh, that smells like an idea! "Hey, IF."

The Guild agent turned to me. "Hmmm?"

I started blushing heavily myself. "Wanna… Go around Planeptune for a bit? Just me and you?" Not a date, obviously. Just need the highly specialized skills of the Guild Agent to help me around, you know?"

IF seemed to get my gist as she winked at me with those lovely emerald eyes of hers. "I see. Then we'll consider this a quest?"

Neptune and Histoire were understandably confused as we opted to walk to the elevator before leaving on that note. Suckers.

The afternoon sunshine hit me hard as we left. Clearly a suit was a bad idea for a date. I mean Quest.

"So, why'd you bring me out here?" IF asked, looking slightly uncomfortable herself. Whether that was heat or social obligation was beyond my analysis level.

"Well, figured you missed we'd catch up." No ulterior motives here. Just laying it out there. "Plus, I wanna get out of the Basilicom for a bit."

IF put her arms behind her head as we walked along the Planeptune streets. "Suppose that makes sense. But now we're out and about, what's on your mind?"

"A lot of things." I answer truthfully. No point being coy. "Mostly worried about you and the others after I almost died. Again. Also who the hell is Plutia?"

"Other-Dimensional CPU." IF replied, waving her hand casually. "I think it's the same place that Anonydeath dude came from, which leads to some sort of theory that these rifts are simply holes connecting both dimensions temporarily, but due to their unstable nature, can't be studied properly."

I gently punched her in the arm. "Fuckin' nerd." Still, this brought up an interesting question. "Would there be a chance of connecting both in a stable manner? I'm sure whoever's friends with Plutia misses her greatly."

IF shrugged "We're trying, but it's a lengthy process considering we're working with nothing here. But enough about work." This was about work? "How did you excursion to Lastation go?"

I waved my hand as we passed by Celestia. It wasn't open in the afternoon, sadly. "The usual. Got to try out Peace and Tranquility… Which I forgot to hand back to Nepgear before leaving to give feedback, dammit." My hand met face as IF chuckled to herself.

"Ah don't worry about Gear's stuff. She tinkers with quality. Those pistols are as good as they'll get, more than likely."

I shrugged. "Fair… Aren't you hot in that jacket, though?" I diverted the topic to IF herself, who seemed to have some sweat forming on her face.

"A b-bit, but I'd rather keep it on. I feel more comfortable like this." She stated simply as I stopped in front of a store. Seemed to be one of the generic stores scattered around with the Guild's usual set of gear in.

I walked into the store and activated the storefront. This suit was chafing in the heat so I needed something more casual.

Huh, the store seems like it updated. Now I can buy any Nation branded clothing rather than just Planeptune. Must be part of that treaty, awesome.

I ordered up 3 sets of clothing. One full Lowee set (Including jacket.), one full Leanbox set (Which had shorts and a t-shirt instead of the usual, longer sleeved variant.) and one full Lastation set (Mostly seemed the same as the Planeptune set aside from the additional mask helping to filter the toxic air).

With that sorted, I opted to change into my new Leanbox clothing. It was a hot day and having some airflow would be nice.

Walking out of the shop, IF whistiled to herself while admiring me. "Damn, Koei. Showing off that summer bod already, huh?"

I blushed. "It's just for the heat. Am I really that toned?" I never really cared about my looks, but if I do look more attractive…

"Not really." Ouch. "But it's the first time I've seen your arms and legs properly. They seem to be building on their own."

"Heh, thanks." I'll take the compliment anyway. "What about yours?"

I immediately realize my mistake as I just asked IF to strip off her jacket in public. I tried to correct my mistake before getting a face full of fabric as IF's jacket was flung at me.

Placing the article of clothing into my inventory as fast as possible, IF stood before me, finally exposing her arms and thighs for the world to see. Really she wasn't wearing that much less than I was. Hell, probably more if you take her boots into account.

"There, you got my jacket off." IF stated finally. "At least I'm not sweating anymore. Even if I do feel… Exposed."

I did feel bad for the poor girl, but it'd be good for her skin. Vitamin D is good for bones! And cancer if you have too much of it!

"Ah well, it's lovely weather to show off, Iffy." I reassured, stretching to emphasise my point. I was self-conscious of my own body, but if I showed some confidence, maybe…

IF showed the ghost of a smile. "I guess you're right, Kope- Koei." IF's smile disappeared as her cheeks gained a rosy hue. I caught that slip of the tongue but decided not to press further, lest she kick my ass over it.

Still, she seemed fine with letting down her guard around me. And I felt the same way around her. God, this is weird.

But it's a good feeling regardless, so I'll let it slide. Still…

"So, any plans for the near future?" I ask casually as we continued our trek down Planeptune's oddly near empty streets.

"Not really." IF replied, arms swinging slightly as we trekked onwards to nowhere in particular. "Aside from hanging out with you, Nep and the others, I'll probably just end up doing Guild related work. No real plan from there, though. You?"

I shrugged. "Same old, same old. Probably with less near-death experiences from now on, though." Well, I hope that was going to be the case. Being a hero is fun and all, but the life expectancy is not very high if you're careless.

"You're adapting well, to say the least." IF noted. "When Histoire and I originally found out about the rifts, we were worried that whatever came out of them would be… Well, more hostile than you. Thankfully most of them fizzled out without any entities appearing from them. You're one of the few exceptions, of course."

"Thanks for stating I'm better than nothing." I chuckled, revelling in the glorious Planeptune afternoon. "You know, it's moments like this that make me feel alive, IF. The beautiful sunshine, being with a great friend shooting the shit, everything feels… Right, you know?"

IF put a hand to her chin. "Everything's been quiet since that dragon incident. Aside from drinking in Celestia until I got thrown out, it's just been the usual. Even Neptune hasn't been particularly… Neptune."

"Huh. you think something might happen now that I'm up and about again?" I ask aloud. "I hope it doesn't. But at the same time…"

As soon as those words left my mouth I regretted even bringing this up as what could only be described as a rift in space quite literally opened up before us. Looming over us, with energy sparking inside of it and lightning scorching from it, it was certainly dangerous and needed to be taken care of, now.

"Shite." I mutter. "What do we do with this, then?" I turned to IF, who seemed similarly stunned by this.

"Step back. These things have a bad habit of having a vorte-" was all she managed to get out before the consuming void suddenly expanded and I started to feel something pulling at me towards the vortex.

"IF, go!" I yelled, trying to help her avoid the same fate I was going to be entwined in, but I could see her struggling to keep her footing as well. Seems we were destined to end up like this, then.

She grabbed my hand suddenly, causing me to blush heavily as her own face turned crimson. "No! I won't lose you to this!" She tried to drag me herself, having stepped back in order to escape the pull.

I knew what would happen if she held on. Grabbing her jacket from my inventory, I took a quick sniff to remember her scent just to remember her by before throwing it at her, causing her to fall backwards, letting go of my hand as I was sucked in.

I'm sorry, IF. I truly am.

Koei!? Why did you throw my jacket at me? I could have saved you. But…

The rift had closed. Koei was gone. I grabbed the plush of him I'd been hiding in my own inventory for a while and hugged it tightly.

It provided some comfort in this time of need. But I had to be strong. Getting up, tears barely shedded, I grabbed one of my phones from my jacket and started making a call to Histoire.

"Histoire? Koei's gone. A rift opened and took him." I stated, trying to keep stoic despite my loss.

"IF… Come back to the Basilicom then. I may have an idea of where that rift leads to." Histoire was cryptic as always, but she was my only lead at this point.

At least he gave me back my jacket. After smelling it. Weirdo.

Ow. Fuck. Rifts hurt. A lot.

Oh Me, it's you again.

Aw shit, it's you again.

I'm glad we're on a mutual basis.

As am I. Now what the hell do you want?

Well, remember when I told you about that artifact being in danger?

No.

Well, I forgot to inform you where it was, didn't I?

No, because I don't remember.

… Shut up. It wasn't in the dimension you were in, so it was pretty fantastic when that rift opened up, eh?

Oh god, I'm in hell aren't I?

No, no. You'll be waking up soon. Just beware my friend, for this adventure will be a solo affair. Now go, and right the wrongs of Ultradime-

CHROMEEEY! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TOOOO?

GODDAMMIT FILYN!

Another one of those dreams. God, that Chrome is a weirdo, though. Why is she even telling me about all this, Histoire was already enough of a nag as was.

Whatever. My head fucking hurts and I'm completely sober for once. Christ, where am I?

Opening my eyes, green pastures greeted me as I observed just where the actual hell I was. A city that looked like Planeptune was in the distance, but it seemed much smaller. Still, civilization was ahead of me and I intended to face it head-on!

Getting up, I nearly fell down from some weight on my back. Turning around, I realized that this was fucking stupid, as the weight was still on my back and not necessarily behind me. Copping a feel, it wasn't alive, so that was good at least. Upon further feeling, it was fabric-ey, like some sort of bag.

You know, maybe I should just take the bastard thing off. Grabbing the straps attached to my shoulders, I took off the bag in a show of force unparalleled by man or machine.

Upon further inspection it was just a bag. Well, a backpack to be more precise, but still a bag. Specifically the one I bought way, way back in Lowee before I even had the UI Gloves.

Oh right, I have an inventory. Opening my UI Gloves, I-

Cannot connect to Lastation servers.

Fuck. Well, the UI Gloves were just hand warmers until I could get them back online. I wonder what's in the bag, though.

Opening it up, Peace and Tranquility were tucked in there, along with some assorted healing potions and beer, as well as my Planeptune getup. Whoever or whatever got by bag out of storage liked the bare essentials and I appreciate that!

Hefting the load back onto my back, I checked my watch which thankfully didn't need a fucking Internet connection to work. Seemed like it was the early afternoon, judging by the 2:30pm time it displayed. With all the admin out of the way, I started my trek to Planeptune, determination to find out what the fuck happened and reunite with my darling IF. God that sounded weird.

GOD FUCK WALKING WHERE'S THE SUBWAY I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR LIKE AN HOUR AAAAAAAAA

Needless to say I was starting to feel fatigued from my walk to "Planeptune." It seemed to go further the more I walked, but that could simply be me going insane from the continued boredom of simply walking with nothing to distract me.

Eventually after what felt like hours (but was in reality, a single one thanks to my watch.) I reached the outskirts of the metropolis. It was definitely smaller than I remember, which was odd. Still, I was here.

Ivory buildings flanked me as I headed towards the Basilicom. Why the Basilicom? Because, that's where the important shit happens, of course! Still, people were giving me odd looks as I wandered about, probably due to the shorts I were wearing. I don't do shorts well, I must admit. One of my many, many flaws.

As I was walking, I felt something bump against my leg. I should watch where I walk. Still, what did I bump into? Looking down, I- holy shit.

I accidentally ran into a child. Her brown hair looked like it hadn't been cut in a while, as if she was growing it out herself. Her jacket was way too big for her, considering the fact it wasn't even zipped up, exposing her inner layer of clothing. From the looks of things, she was a fan of buttons, as she had plenty of them scattered on her jacket. Still, her emerald eyes were filled with tears, as if she was about to cr-

Wait, emerald eyes? An oversized jacket? Trying way too hard to be cool? It's IF! But smaller and cuter! And about to burst into waterworks! Shit! Big brother instinct I didn't know I had kicked in as I patted the small girl in a desperate attempt to comfort her.

Somehow, this worked and the adorable child gradually calmed down, before silence fell between us. In this moment I realized that I was staring at a 5 year old and will probably end up getting weird looks if this continued.

I think IF realized this herself, as she suddenly took off away from me, arms behind her like that would do anything to help her. I think I saw that type of run in an anime before, but…

Oh right, I should probably go after her. A kid running around a city unsupervised would be bad news, so I followed her. Seems that my running speed has increased quite a bit over the last while, as I was able to keep up with the full tilt force of a sprinting child at the very least.

Eventually, the child IF turned and ran into a building. I followed suit, despite every part of me screaming that it was a horrible idea. Still, I ran in and…

This is just the fucking Basilicom! The Planeptune Basilicom to be more precise. This is bullshit asset reuse! Still, that means if I go up the elevator…

Ding

Well, this wasn't the Planeptune Basilicom I was used to. It looked more like Neptune's room, but with less pudding and more garish bullshit everywhere. More like a daycare than an actual government building.

I'm a 20 something male with no children who followed a child into here because she looked like my girlfriend. I'm on a fucking list for this.

I notice two other girls around the same age as IF, not aware of my presence. One was clearly Compa, by her adorableness and carrying a fucking needle. The other one however, seemed to be unfamiliar. She wore an outfit reminiscent of a bee, with black and yellow stripes everywhere. Her hands were covered in paw gloves, while the top of her half blonde half ginger head had a bonbon on it for decoration. As was a common theme, pants were overrated, but she wore sensible shoes at least. Actually, the red and white design looks a little bit familar… Nah, I'm crazy.

Oh god, I did the inner monologue again. Why is this girl charging towards me? Is she going to hu-

"PEASHY PAUNCH!" She yelled, before striking… ow. I collapsed, holding my jewels as I regretted never donating my DNA for science. Looks like I'm not having children, thanks kid.

"BAD PEDOPHILE! BAD!" She kicked me while I was down in the stomach, causing me to squirm more. This kid was violent, but she had a point.

"P-Peashy! Please stop attacking the stranger! (O_o)", an adorable, oddly familiar voice piped up. As the assault on my most manly of parts ended, a book fairy appeared before my eyes. She was as you might imagine, very small. WHY IS EVERYTHING HERE SMALL AND ADORABLE.

"Well, my pride is ruined. But thanks for the save."I state, still in immense pain from the pummeling. Absolute low blow right there.

"I can only apologise so much for her. (_)" Smol Histoire spoke up again, emoticons appearing out of her book to reflect her emotions, apparently. "Peashy! No pudding for 3 days! At least, if there are any left in the first place. (-_-;)"

Slowly hoisting myself up, I glared at the pouting child as Smol Compa came up to me with an ice pack. "H-Here you go Mister. I tell Peashy to not play so rough, but she never listens." God, she's so precious. They all are precious cinnamon rolls that I need to protect with my life!

Woah, I need to dial back the Oni-Chan tones. It'd be weird if that came out of my mouth. ""T-Thanks, kiddo. I'm Koei, by the way. Sorry for intruding, but I bumped into IF over there by accident and wanted to apologise. I got more than what I bargained for, it seems."

As I inserted the ice pack into my shorts, IF gave me a confused look. Oh right, I wasn't supposed to know her name. "H-Hey, how did you know my name?" She asked, somewhat hesitant as she stepped in front of Compa. Even when she's facing down someone twice her size, she wants to protect Compa. It's so damn endearing, fuck.

Resisting the urge to audibly squee, I decided just to come out and state the truth. "I'm from a different dimension. I… know your older self. You're gonna grow up to be a fine young lady, IF. Same to you, Compa."

I felt a weight on my back as Peashy stared me in the eyes, her face upside down and her hair flying freely. "What about Pea? What about Pea?"

I shrugged, despite the weight. "No clue on you. Don't think you exist in the dimension I'm from, sorry kid."

Her smile turned to a frown. "O-oh. Does that mean that Ploot doesn't exist there either? I miss Ploot…"

Ploot, huh? Could that be… "About yay high, sleepy girl who wears slippers, likes making plushies?" I opt to leave out "Absolute psychopath in her CPU form", for the sake of the children.

"You know of her current location?（ ﾟ Дﾟ)" Histoire flew up to my face, scaring the tyke off my back with a thud. She didn't seem hurt, though, judging by her giggling. "She's been missing for approximately three weeks at this point, so any details would be most appreciated! (・_・;)"

"Three weeks?" I don't bother to hide my own shock. "She only turned up about 3 days ago in my dimension, along with some Elder Dragon or other."

Histoire grimly nodded. "Then it seems that our dimensions have some… Chronological disparity. This isn't good. (._.)"

"You're telling me. Still, if time passes at 1/7th the rate here compared to back home, then we have more time to work with, right? Still, I have no service to call Histoire back home…"

"W-Well, I could try poking around the dimensional fabric of reality to see if any rifts are currently open to allow a signal to travel to that dimension if need be. It will take about 3 hours to check it, however." Histoire's expression turned back to concern. "Can you look after these three while I do that? I'd hate to be a bother, but they're not exactly the most well-behaved when Plutia isn't around. (^_^;)"

Oh god, I'm a babysitter now. "Are you sure about this? We literally just met." For once, I was serious. It's super weird to have three kids suddenly dumped on you by a talking book fairy. Even that sentence is weird!

"I do have some faith in you, Koei. You know about Plutia's existence, so if you dared to do anything to her adopted sisters… (°_°)"

That didn't need finishing, as the usually stoic and calm Histoire was shaking. Fucking. Shaking. "Y-yeah."I sweat nervously. "I know how much a CPU can fu- mess you up first hand. She has an aura about her."

Histoire nodded in agreement. "I concur. Anyway, it is time to search the dimensional fabric for any holes. Wish me luck, Koei. (^_^)"

And with that her eyes glazed over as she started making modem noises. Fuckin'. Modem. Noises. Whatever. This left me with three children, one who could kick my ass easily if she wanted to, one being my girlfriend in another dimension and the wanna be nurse who still has a needle on her and is trying to inject it into IF. Christ.

"Uh, Compa? You know that's dangerous." I took the needle away from the child before she could stab anyone with it. The disappointment on her face was palatable and I did feel bad, but kids and sharp objects do not mix,

"Hey Koei, what's that thing on your back?" IF's voice called out from behind me, as I remembered I had a backpack o- Feeling my back, I didn't. It seems it fell off at some point, judging by the fact it was placed neatly in a corner. Still, what could be on my back?

Feeling around, I eventually hit upon a handle. Slowly pulling it out, it was the renewed Serenity. So that's where it went, huh. Taking a seat on a dogoo-shaped bean bag, I examined Serenity a bit. She was a sweetie alright and I'm not shocked that IF would be curious. "Ah, sidearm of choice for adventuring. An ancient relic of Lowee, reforged into the ultimate Spellblade. You like it, IF?"

IF's eyes sparkled at my slight exaggeration. I mean, it wasn't false, I just didn't know if there was anything more powerful. "It's… Beautiful. One day, I wanna be a Spellblade too!... But I'm not into swords." IF put a hand to her chin, her sleeve crumpling as she raised her arm.

"I mean, I know someone who uses katars, which are little blades you can wield in your hand." Ignoring the fact that IF herself uses them. I want this to feel like her choice. Yes I am manipulating a child. I have no real reason to aside from see what would happen.

IF clapped her covered hands together. "Yes! That sounds awesome!" Her voice nearly broke from the excitement. She's so damn adorable. I want her as a little chunni plushie to hold forever and ever…

I don't have a problem. Shut up. Before I could get more weird looks, the elevator made a ding from behind me and shifted myself towards the new challenger.

Oh, it was Noire. Yeah why am I not surprised that Noire exists in this dimension? Aside from her baring her midriff more, she looked about the same as the Noire I already knew and loved… To troll relentlessly. Just with more blue.

"Hey." I waved at the tsundere. "You need somethin', because Histoire is…" I pointed to the book fairy, still making modem noises while Compa poked at her. The size comparison was weird to say the least.

Noire's look grew worried. "I assume Plutia is still missing? It's been a while since I last saw her and not seeing her and knowing she's okay is making work harder and harder to focus on…"

I gave her a look of sympathy as I remembered IF. My IF. It's only been an hour or so and I still feel like a part of me is missing. Catching my glance, she blushed before activating her tsundere mode. "I-It's not like I miss her or anything! I just worry about her nation and these kids is all!"

I nod in a way that implied that she was correct without looking too much like a suck up. So just a nod. "Sure, whatever. You wanna help me look after these tykes?"

Noire looked offended. "H-Hey, Don't dump this on me as well! I have a job, dammit!"

I roll my eyes as I get up and slotted Serenity back in my scabbard. "Sure, that's why you're here in Planeptune. Come on then, let's get something actually done while you're here."

Noire thought for a moment. "Well, there is one thing I should probably check in on while I'm here. Plus, the best way to bond with someone is while questing, right?"

I shrugged. "Sure, whatever. One thing, though." I spun on my heel and pointed to the trio of terror, who were all now poking Histoire. "We should probably bring them with us. Not only did Histoire trust me with them, I don't think she appreciates the poking."

Norie sighed. "Fine. They'd probably end up breaking something if we left them be… Can you at least change into something with less leg first? Their hairiness is disturbing." She motioned to my legs, which were in fact pretty hairy. Hey, I never wore shorts, okay?

I rolled my eyes as I headed towards my backpack and got out my other outfit, before heading to a bedroom and changing into something more… fabulous!

A few moments later, I emerged with my more iconic Planeptune outfit equipped, covering my awful body up. Planeptune did feel colder anyway, so this was helpful.

Noire eyed me up and down. "Good enough, let's go." She motioned for us to follow her.

"Yay, we're goin' on a trip with auntie Nowa!" Peashy cheered, as the ebony tsundere blushed, but didn't say anything. She seemed appreciative of the nickname, as I would be too.

"Speaking of names," I start while the elevator slowly descended with the 5 of us in. "I'm Koei. Local interdimensional traveller and person who knows Plutia, I guess." I didn't really have any accomplishments here to boast about.

Noire nodded simply as the tube fell surprisingly silent.

Ahh, the air here felt clearer. As if this place was less developed that the Planeptune back home. I mean that was obviously why the air was clearer, but I needed something to occupy my mind on this walk. Noire was silent at the front, with me following directly behind. The children were chattering excitedly amongst themselves. It was fine, but I had nothing to really talk about. I'd met these people like an hour ago, three of them were kids and the other one didn't seem up for a conversation. Still, where were we going?

Eventually, we came across something other than green pastures. Yellowish bricks started to appear, culminating in a large temple entrance consisting of the same bricks, contrasted by moss everywhere. As expected of a location like this, it had mobs randomly wandering around, minding their own business and generally being peaceful.

As expected from any hyperactive child, Peashy jumped right at one of the enemies, some sort of cat with gloves and started beating the everloving hell out of it. Not really shocking, but christ.

"I uh… She's always like this, right?" I pointed to the whirling mass of pain that was Peashy as I turned to Noire, hoping she'd give me some form of answer.

Noire shrugged in response. "This is pretty much how Plutia described her, yeah. This was not unexpected. Just try to keep up, won't you?" she then grabbed her sword from somewhere and charged into battle herself. I turned back to IF and Compa, who were just sitting on bricks chatting to each other while eating pudding. Dammit, it's so precious, why didn't I bring a camera?

Still, I grabbed Serenity and made off myself towards the mass of enemies. I kicked over a kitty before slashing at a ghost-type thing. Seriously, it looked like a floating blob with a sheet. It didn't put up much of a fight as it dissipated into data and Credits. Just like old times, I had to manually pick them up as the UI Gloves were still offline and were just fingerless gloves. Kept my hands warm at least. With loot collected, I looked around for something else to murder.

As it turns out, the combination of Peashy and Noire was enough to clear the general area, with Peashy bouncing in place, plenty of energy still in her. IF and Compa followed the hyperactive half-pint, They didn't really seem like fighters themselves yet. Then again, I've never seen Compa fight, but her giant needle is a tipoff that she probably does combat. Thoughts about how much poison in those needles aside, I followed suit in order to explore the depths of the temple. Why the hell not, I had to look after the kids anyway, so it was sort of a win/win?

Whatever, I kept Serenity on hand, slinging it over my shoulder as we headed further in. It was honestly a nice change of pace from destroyed factories and random-ass fields. Though in a sense this was just a destroyed factory, just ancient.

Climbing over a pile of bricks, Noire had stopped in front of a pedestal. Following suit, I found what she was looking at. A flat, diamond-shaped, amethyst crystal was placed there, a power icon engraved inside of it as it glowed with a mysterious light.

"Just what in the hell…" I mutter in awe at the jewel. It seemed to call for me. I must take it. I must. I started to trek towards it as it kept calling me.

Suddenly, Noire's arm shot out in front of me, stopping me cold. "Woah there, hotshot. You do realize what that is, right?"

"No. But it called to me." I state simply, looking at Noire and looking back at the crystal, then back to Noire. She was giving me a look. Namely one that spelled a exposition dump, yay!

"That is a CPU Memory. Extremely rare gems that have a 50% chance of ascending someone to a CPU. It's how Plutia became one, it's how I became one, it's how Lowee's CPU supposedly became one... I have to keep an eye to potential future rivals and I don't dare take this for fear of what Plutia would do to me if she found out." Noire exposited, as the kids just wandered about.

"So what happens the other 50% of the time?" I question. She seemed to be the expert of this sort of thing.

"Oh you turn into a horrific monstrosity that's rumoured to be in great pain eternally until someone puts you down. Nothing much." JESUS FUCK. I stepped away from the crystal. That thing's dangerous. "Also it's rumoured that the chance goes even higher if you have a y chromosome." She then learned into my ear. "That means I'd avoid touching it, considering you're a dude…"

"I passed Biology, thanks." I gently push her away. "Still, why keep it here?"

"Nobody's stupid enough to go wandering around in temples for no reason. Especially with these monsters around. There used to be two here, but…"

Uh oh. "But?"

"Well, let's just say this is where I became a CPU and sort of kinda deepened my relationship with Pluta." She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly with a blush. "W-We're just friends, by the way! It'd be weird if we rivals were lovers!"

Uh-huh. Sure. "So, just checking on this one use ascension gem, with three hyperactive children in tow. What could possibly go wro-"

A crashing through the ceiling interrupted my clear invoking of that particular cliche. Noire shot me a dirty look as the dust settled and the figure made themselves known.

"'Sup." She stated. Oh right, this was this dimension's version of White Heart. Same flatness, same cockiness in her eyes, just with some red on the sides. Well, the outfit was a little different, but aside from that…

"You… You're-" Noire started.

"Shut it. I don't care. I'm here for the CPU Memory. With the CPU of Planeptune missing, this should have been an easy smash 'n grab, but with you brats in my way…"

"Wow, violent! Look, we can just go if you really want. I'll even keep quiet, right Noire?" I turned to the ebony haired girl, who had a nonplussed look of "really?" on her face.

"No. The CPU of Lastation refuses to bend the knee to this cocky, flat chested bully." Noire replied, seriousness in her tone. Jeez, she almost sounded lik-

And she's transforming. I wanted to avoid Death By CPU! I thought I did! Black Heart was actually different, with her hair more resembling her human form (But still white) and her outfit being more gray. Man, these pallete swaps are getting boring.

"Tch. Fuckin' brats. Alright, I'm game. The power of Lowee will crush you all!" White Heart out her big-ass axe and Black Heart did likewise. I turned to the children, who were enthralled by the incoming brawl as I sighed and pointed Serenity at the enemy CPU.

"Alright, but I didn't agree to this." I state with resignation in my voice.

I mean, my ass was grass either way, might as well go with the tsundere on this one.

Koei and Black Heart

Vs.

White Heart

Ready?

FIGHT!

A/N: Cliffhanger motherfucker! Yeah, sorry for blue-ballsing but I realised that the fight would bloat up the chapter way too much and this is already 5 days late.

Now for Sociopath Facts! The segment I may or may not cancel.

- I was originally going to have Koei and IF go on a date to a 5pb. concert that I hinted at earlier in the story! I didn't go with this because I figured that another chapter of buggery fuck happening wouldn't be very "Adventure". I'm not saying the idea is entirely discarded, however.

- This chapter nearly took two weeks because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I only got the Ultradimension idea about... 3/4 days ago? Maybe a few more? The idea of White Heart literally dropping in only came yesterday.

- Speaking of, you might notice a small, tiny glaring plothole in the form of White Heart being framed as a villain. I have no way to explain this in-story because it needs meta knowledge. Without Rei to send Neptune to Ultradimension, she doesn't piss off Noire a ton. With a calmer Noire, she doesn't annoy Plutia with her complaints about Lowee, meaning that they never go to Lowee and that arc never finishes with Blanc reluctently joining the crew after Plutia comforts her. (Genuinely my favourite scene in RB3.)

- Ultradimension's timeline is probably going to end up more fucked than Hyperdimension due to no Neptune/Gear interference. Oh and Ploot being missing for 3 weeks, that's bad too.

- The more I rely on Rifts as a catch all for bullshit plot, the more I realise that my endgame for explaining them is going to be hilariously out of left-field and fucked. Look guys if you came here for actual plot shit, you came to the wrong fanfiction.

That's all for Sociopath Facts. Mmm, that's good padding!