A/N: I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that this chapter is going to be shorter than usual. Mostly establishing things for the next chapter or two. I was going to make it longer, but I'm 5000 words deep into the current thing I'm working on and I only just realised that I have at least another 2000 words to make a satisfying and action packed chapter.

The good news? Well, you'll see after this chapter. Keep the suspense going! For now, MAILBAG!

Blaze2121: The power of cliffhangers strikes again! Though really, with the frequency of using rifts as narrative cru- I mean for the integral storyline, this was bound to happen. Plus you know, more KoeIffy!

Xbox432: The power of love overrides all. Yes, even plot. That and Koei wasn't in the dungeon anymore, as the contraband room is separate from the dungeon, but just close enough to not be annoying to the poor guards who have to carry that stuff. Koei's bag is heavy.

But Blanny was so chill before! I wonder what could cause her to pull that on Koei...

Destroyer Harekaze Kai: Yeah pretty much Iffy's here now. By accident or on purpose is unknown.

EnderSoul1401: May or may not have planned this in advance just for that.

Alright, we got a cliffhanger to pay off. See ya.

So here I was, pointing a pair of supercharged plasma pistols at my kinda sorta girlfriend, in the middle of a Japanese-inspired castle, all while trapped in another dimension.

Today is weird to say the least.

"Iffy? The unholy hell are you doing here?" I stopped pointing Peace and Tranquility at her, because that is a tad rude, as I blushed in embarrassment.

"Aside from having the everloving Nep scared out of me by you, trying to find you!" She snapped back, before giving a sly grin at my blush. "What? Did you just realize that this is the first time you've seen me laid down like this?"

I shook my head incessantly. "N-now's not the time for those thoughts, Iffy." I put Tranquility down to help her up before reequipping it in my right hand. "I fucked up. Bad. I need to find the Raven and get the hell out of here."

IF tilted her head in confusion. "Uhh… That's me. I'm the Raven."

That was anticlimactic. "I… Have so many questions. I guess now's not the time for that sort of thing." I walked over to where the rest of my stuff was and grabbed it, finally having all of my gear back.

"Well, I'm not exactly stupid enough to get caught sneaking around, but apparently that just got the guards paranoid. A glint of qatar here, the woosh of a jacket there made them paranoid. Eventually they just started calling me the Raven because… I don't know, people do weird things when they're paranoid."

"I… Fuck it, close enough." I opened the door and walked out with IF, the guards not even noticing our presence as we walked around the zen garden. "That doesn't explain how you got here in particular?"

IF shrugged. "Rifts."

I blinked. "I'm going to need a little more than that."

IF playfully rolled her eyes before sitting down on the stairs leading to the garden. "This might take a bit, so sit down next to me."

I complied, wanting to see where this was going.

You see, after you left in such a… dramatic fashion, I was sort of lost without you. So the first thing I did rather logically was-

Cry?

F-fuck off. I didn't cry at all!

I can see you blushing.

*THWACK*

So as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, my first course of action was to head back to the Basilicom after informing Histoire.

After doing so, I saw that Histoire talking to that Anonydeath fellow, you know the one.

Very well, unfortunately.

So as it turns out, he wants to return to "Ultradimension", because and I quote "My shit is there.", so he's reluctantly teamed up with Histoire in order to generate a permanent rift, this is probably the one we'll end up going back in.

I was informed by the smaller Histoire, yes. Should be about 2 days?

Really? Goddammit! Anyway, in their quest, they started locking down the locations of rifts. Turns out they don't spawn as randomly as we thought and can even be predicted. Eventually, though intel gathering-

You mean hanging out nonchalantly, waiting for another instance of an Ultradimension rift?

… Yes. Anyway, after a bit, one appeared in Lowee. Two subways and about an hour later, I was in this version of Lowee. After that it was a case of avoiding the guards and waiting for something to happen. Nearly get caught, saw the unlocked Contraband room and here we are.

"That's… Almost too convenient." I state finally, after IF finished her tale. "I mean, if these rifts aren't as random as initially expected, do you think… Something or someone's behind them? I ask, striking a thoughtful pose as we still sat on the stairs, looking as if we belonged there.

"Honestly? I don't know." IF shrugged. "I left before anything concrete could be figured out. I just wanted to be with you again, Koei…" She blushed again, looking away and being all adorable. Goddammit, I love this woman.

"Riiiiight." I stated, finally getting up and dusting myself off. "So what now?"

IF got up herself. "Well first of all…"

THWACK

"OW FUCK." I yelled as IF slugged me in the face. Again. "You know, one of these days I'm gonna see that coming…"

"That's for being weird and smelling my jacket!... And you know, leaving me behind." IF looked downcast as my newly bruised face started to heal. Poor girl. "I thought you were… Gone forever. Why didn't you bring me with you. Koei?"

I hugged IF with all my might. "I'd never do such a thing again, my dear Iffy. I can't do much, but I can promise you this much at least. If I'm going to die, I want to die in your arms."

A few moments of silence passed, as a breeze enveloped the silent garden. Seems the guards weren't bothered about our reunion, which was nice at least.

Letting go, both of us were blushing pretty heavily as I contemplated my next move. "Well, that was overdramatic. What now?" IF quickly switched back to her usual demeanour, thankfully.

I rubbed the back of my head. "I uh… Have no clue. I wanted to get some revenge on Blanc for attacking me and then taking advantage of my trusting nature, but-"

"Then we're doing that." IF cut me off rather suddenly. "We find Blanc, kick her ass and get back to Planeptune, all before the portal between here and Hyperdimension opens. Sound good?"

"I uh… Sounds good." I missed IF's blunt attitude. "I mean, it probably isn't the best idea to fight a goddess, but you're the boss here." I shrugged.

"Good grief, it looks like some prisoners got out. Again." The guard from before spoke up, shocking me as I turned to face her. She leaned in and started to whisper. "Don't worry, I'll take you straight to Lady White Heart. Follow my lead." She stepped back, drawing her rifle before giving me a wink. "Come along, prisoner."

IF for her part, did not approve, unsheathing her katars. "Not on my watch, bitch."

I put my arm between the two. "Now now, let's not resort to violence. Save that for Blanc. I'd like to not keep making enemies here."

The guard nodded. "I concur. My name's Lily by the way. Figured that we should you know, get to know each other."

IF sighed before putting her katars away. "I'm The Raven. Or as my actual name goes, IF. This is Koei, my boyfriend. You touch him and you get your throat slit."

"Moving swiftly on," I quickly interrupted "Lead the way Lily."

Lily nodded before spinning on her heel and marching, rifle primed as we followed suit through the garden. "I've actually been a bit worried about Lady White Heart. You hear rumors here and there about her being a bit… Megalomaniacal, but seeing and working for her in person is far more accurate. It feels like she's hiding something from me and I haven't got the confidence to ask her. Probably just a gut feeling…"

I shook my head. "No, that sounds about right. She poured out her heart about CPUs outliving their friends and apologised to a newly created CPU for kind of making them ageless. But today she's done a 180 and I can't wrap my head around it."

IF put a hand to her chin. "I think it might just be her situation. She sees herself as superior, right? You look like you beat her up and that shook her ego, so she probably had a plan to get rid of you before it could happen again."

I rubbed the back of my head. "That sounds about right, but I don't get why she'd switch personalities so fast on me. She was so polite yesterday…"

Lily piped up. "Yeah that'll probably just be how she acts when she's trying to be diplomatic. You know how people are behind closed doors. Still, I'd like to have faith in my CPU again. She seemed so nice and kind before, it's why I enlisted in her guard and now…"

"Even gods can fail, you know. Just makes them more uh, human. I mean they already look like humans, so it makes some sense."

Lily sighed. "I suppose so. We're here, by the way." We stopped in front of a large pair of doors, which pretty obviously indicated who was behind that.

"Well, time to die." I said simply, before opening the large paper doors to reveal a rather traditional throne room, complete with Blanc sat on a throne, languidly staring out towards us in a bored manner.

"I really need to step up the security around here. Private Lily, you're dismissed. I'll deal with you later."

Lily bowed her head. "Thank you, My Lady." She proceeded to leave as Blanc got up from her chair and started to walk towards us, hammer in tow.

"Now, as for you, Koei…"

IF stepped out in front of me to stare Blanc right in the eyes. "Touch him and I'll slit your goddamn throat." She stated simply.

Blanc for her part just laughed and shoved IF away. "Go away little girl, this is a matter between adults. Or do you want to team up against the bigger fish in a useless attempt to best me?"

"I uh… That's a stupid analogy." I replied, not sure how to parse that string of words coming from the flat cuss fairy's mouth.

"Just shut up and fight me." She stated coldly, swinging her hammer in a fashion that forced me to dodge backwards, separating IF and I even more.

"I'm not here to fight, dammit!" I say with some hesitation as IF attempted to strike from behind, failing to get in a good attack before being forced to dodge a lazy hammer swing.

"Then why did you escape the dungeon? That seems like an admission to guilt to me!" Blanc kept swinging, words failing to get through to her.

IF kept trying to get a strike in, but Blanc's swings meant she could target both of us, even as we stood on opposite sides of her. "I didn't! A maiden in green came and broke me out by lockpicking the door!"

Blanc stopped. "A maiden in green? Sure, sure. I bet she wants me as a little sister too." She deadpanned entirely. "You're just as gullible as I thought if you think I'll fall for that."

I shrugged "It's the truth. Hell, the Raven's stood right behind you, is she just a myth too?"

Blanc tilted her head. "The Raven? You mean that little girl?"

"I'M NOT LITTLE!" IF roared before drop kicking Blanc from behind, finally getting a hit in as she fell to the ground. She prepared to stomp on the downed Blanc, but I intervened by shoving her away just in time.

"Gah! Koei, what the hell! She's tried to kill you, deceived you and now attacked again, unprovoked and only now that we finally get the first strike, you want to be merciful?" IF glared at me, only just keeping herself balanced after my rather rough shove.

"Apologies, Iffy, but I want to give her a second chance. A real one."

"A second chance." Blanc mocked my tone before spitting at my feet, finally getting back up. "And just what makes you think I'd want your pity?" She prepared her hammer again. "Didn't I kick your ass enough yesterday? Do you want to fight again?"

"No, I don't! I know you're not eager to do this either, that's why you haven't transformed! If you truly wanted me dead, you would have turned into White Heart by now! But I know you're better than this!"

Blanc stopped for a moment, as did IF, both turning to me with looks of confusion. "You have every right to kill me, you know." Blanc stated solemnly. "I've wronged you, betrayed your trust and hurt people you care about. As far as I'm concerned, I want this over with as fast as possible."

IF remained steadfast, her mouth remaining shut, not inputting her thoughts.

"What do you mean? There can be a different way of doing this." I ask, trying to appeal to common sense. At the very least she seemed willing to listen at this point, knowing that she wasn't fighting at her full strength, even unintentionally.

Blanc sighed. "No, there can't be. The Seven Sages wouldn't forgive me if I bent my knee to a so-called "Hero" who made me realize my wrongs. I don't think my citizens would appreciate me working with criminals either and I know they'd leak that fact as soon as they found out I was pulling the wool over their eyes."

Seems that the situation was more… Nuanced than originally thought. I nodded at IF, who put her katars away and walked towards Blanc, before patting her head.

"Look, I have no ulterior motive in trying to help you here. By all means, I should be trying to break your face in right about now, but I'm not that sort of person. Getting revenge would be satisfying, but if you're in trouble, I can't ignore that. Tell me Blanc, is there something I can help with?"

I took my hand off her head as she turned away. IF probably was a little jealous, but she needed some reassurance.

"F-Fine. I'll give you a brief rundown on what happened for me to end up in the situation I'm in. I'll go get some tea."

And so she left the room. After that bit of dramatic tension, I almost saw IF's right hook coming, but didn't react in time as it collided with my cheek. Ow.

"What the hell, Koei?" IF hissed. "Not only did we not fight the girl who kicked your ass then tried to kill us, you're actively trying to help her? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

I shrugged. "These Seven Sages sound like pieces of work. Plus we still have two days before the portal back to Hyperdimension even opens, right? Might as well make use of that time. Second chances exist for a reason, you know."

IF stood still for a moment, and stared deep within my eyes. "Well, I suppose I gave you a chance way back in Lowee. Could have had you arrested and sent off to jail. But you were alone… Misunderstood." She looked back to where Blanc disappeared to.. "Maybe that's why you want to give her a second chance."

"Exactly! If I can give someone, anyone a second chance to be happier, I'm more than willing to hear someone out, even if they have taken advantage of it and tried to kill me." My voice was filled with passion. This was my calling, this was why I came to Lowee in the first place, I could feel it!

IF put a hand to her face, muttering something incomprehensible, before pulling it off. "Alright, as your girlfriend, I should have some faith in you at least. Just… Don't pat other girls like that." She blushed, looking away. "At least not without patting me." She muttered, almost inaudibly.

I took the hint and patted the tsunderish girl, causing her to squee a little bit as we waited for tea and backstory.

Eventually, Blanc returned with 3 cups and a teapot, as we sat around a traditional Japanese table. Biscuits were also provided, which was great for recharging my batteries after today's events so far.

So, you may know me as the CPU of Lowee. The original CPU at that. Years and years ago, I was having a picnic out in the Sakura Blossom Forest… I didn't come up with that name. Anyway, I saw a shiny rock type thing floating in the river. Picking it up, it did something to me and I felt different… More powerful… Angier. When I got home, my parents didn't even recognize me, despite my begging that I was still their Blanc. It took me hours to realize that I had transformed into White Heart. It took days to figure out how to go back to normal.

I took a sip of tea. This was going to be a long one.

Eventually, people started calling me a "CPU" or Console Patron Unit. People flocked to me to help out with their problems. Taking care of monsters near the village where I grew up, finding lost pets, that sort of thing. Eventually Lowee Castle was built and the citizens practically demanded I live there, as "Our Lady White Heart has no business sleeping with commoners! I had been paid in being allowed to stop in other people's homes for evenings, though sometimes people would just invite me. I gained a reputation for being helpful and kind and people flocked to me, called me their goddess.

But despite all this praise and attention I had, I still felt alone. I didn't age, but everyone around me did. Eventually I became disillusioned with the people around me. They would die after all. I wouldn't… I couldn't. Lowee became prosperous purely because of me and the faith that people had put in me. I had to be perfect or I risked this thing I had built up from almost nothing.

Then the news broke. Another CPU was born. Planeptune was founded and I suddenly had someone I could relate to. But the people of Lowee didn't take kindly to this supposed "knockoff" CPU. I couldn't so much as visit this new nation without my people growing suspicious that my views didn't match theirs.

"Why didn't you try to console them?" I asked. "Surely they'd knock it off if their patron goddess, the one that they worshipped told them to?"

Heh. I tried. People didn't take kindly to my supposed dictatorship, so I had to let off before a revolt happened. So I'm stuck here, unable to contact my fellow CPU due to hatred between us born out of what, simple ego? I guess I didn't help matters by being a bit… Aggressive in my CPU form, huh?

"I think your aggression is part of the problem." IF stated simply, munching on a damp biscuit dunked in tea. "People tend to follow the attitudes of those they look up to, after all."

Hah. You know, you're the first person to say that to my face, knowing exactly who I am. The only people who know of my human form now are the guards stationed around here, who are sworn to secrecy. This means you hear a lot of things that people wouldn't dare say if they knew I was around hearing them talk smack. I've tried to work on it, but it's difficult when the only people you socialize with are your subordinates who have undying loyalty to you and wouldn't question your actions. It's part of why I snuck out yesterday to grab that CPU Memory.

"Oh yeah, I was wondering about that." I finish off my tea before pouring another cup. "Kinda weird how you picked yesterday, Plutia's been missing for 3 weeks at this point."

Had to pick a day when I knew the Seven Sages wouldn't "check in" on me and then sneak out of the castle via the tunnels dug underneath Lowee, before using HDD to get to Planeptune before someone found out.

As for why… Needless to say my vetting process a few years ago wasn't as stringent as it is now and let a high ranking member of the Seven Sages serve as my personal assistant. He built dirt on me for years, every time I talked shit about a citizen, every time I said something ungoddesslike. Every. Little. Thing. Then the blackmail happened. "Bend your knee to the Seven Sages, or your reputation will be ruined. Forever." They said. They had years worth of dirt on me. Considering how much I had tried to keep my reputation, this was a heavy blow. I had to, for the sake of Lowee. Even if I didn't care about my citizens as much as I used to, I don't know what would have happened had they gone through. I couldn't take such a massive risk…

"Ouch. Blackmail is the worst." I agreed there, as I sipped my tea. "Even in the few weeks I've been in Gamindustri, I've done some… Morally questionable things."

"Setting a training area on fire, public drunkenness, burning off a woman's clothing in public, oh and of course sleeping with me."

My blood froze as I turned to IF, who had the biggest shit eating grin on her face. "You forgot to pay Nep her puddings. Though I will say that the last one of those wasn't directly your fault. Neptune ended up dragging you into the only free bed, which was the one I happened to be in at the time. I don't think anything else happened, as I had all my clothes on when I woke up and I doubt that in your state would have been able to take off and reapply a belt with such finesse."

"I uh…" I had nothing to say to that. "Damn, how long have you been holding on to that?"

IF shrugged. "Only since yesterday. Was going to drop it after our date was done, but then that rift happened and I had to come after you and we had this emotional reunion… I haven't had a good time to drop it until you set me up with that, is all."

Blanc looked at me with some sense of… Awe? Empathy? Lust? "That's pretty metal for only a few weeks. I'll have to learn more about you, Koei. You seem more interesting than I initially expected."

"Uh… Thanks?" I said, not sure if it was a compliment or not. "Now back to the CPU Memory?"

Oh, right. Well, I've managed to look at a few documents in the past back when I had my advisor. As it turns out, they've been planning this for years and only needed to wait for a CPU Memory to spawn. There was one in Planeptune, but it was deemed too risky due to the CPU in residence. Apparently they tried it once before and their agents came back traumatized, along with having a second CPU be born, the one who rules Lastation.

So once I heard the news via word of mouth rumors of the guard, I formulated a simple plan to get in, grab the CPU Memory and break it before they could take advantage of it and create a CPU they could control more… Directly.

"So… What you said about being cursed with immortality isn't true?" I tilted my head.

Blanc shook her head in response. "No, that much still holds true from a moral standpoint. It turns out that it lines up perfectly to mess with their plan and keep them occupied while I try to find a more permanent solution. After all, they can't exactly ditch their blackmail target when it's the crux of their plan to have the most powerful nation underneath their heel."

Interesting. "So this is where some form of "Outside Party" comes in, then?"

She grinned and nodded. "Yup. They don't know about you or the Raven yet. If you can break in to their base of operations and destroy their blackmail on me, I can destroy their plan with no consequence. I might even consider doing a favour for you in return if you succeed."

I took out a hand to shake hers with, which she did respond to. "It'd be my pleasure."

Blanc's smile faded to a more genuine one. "If this burden can be lifted, I can finally start work on a more productive plan for the future of Gamindustri. If I could talk to Lastation's CPU about some sort of hybrid console… Right, that's for later. For now, I can give you a general idea of where the blackmail should be stored."

Blanc pulled out a map out of nowhere, with two locations clearly marked. One was "Lastation" and to the north was "Anonydeath's Lab." Wait, Anonydeath?

"Oh god I'm going to have to fight another robot lobster, aren't I?" I sighed in resignation as IF patted my back.

"Well, better that than something like a robot crab. Could you imagine the damage those things could do?" She shuddered.

"Robotic sea life aside, I'd appreciate if you would enlist the help of Lastation's CPU as well. I know you already fought with her, so it shouldn't be that difficult and might help in establishing relations later… Assuming she wants anything to do with me after what happened."

I shrugged. "Can't be as bad as last time." And with that, we got up and prepared to leave. "It's been a pleasure Blanc, I appreciate having the chance to talk to you normally."

"The same to you. I forgot how sometimes people are just people and don't need a reason to help you. It's like when I first became a CPU over again." Her smile remained and her half lidded eyes shined with hope. I couldn't fail Blanc like I failed her counterpart.

"Wait." Blanc spoke up before we left, fiddling in her pocket and pulling out a pair of red badges, each attached to a string. "Wear these around the castle and the guards will know you're an honoured guest." I gave a hard glare. "I mean it this time. They won't even bother you about being armed. It's the least I can do after being such a pain." She got up, heading towards her throne again, this time pushing it out of the way to reveal a person-sized hole in the wall. "This will lead to the underground network. Basically how I get out without attracting attention. Don't worry, I can close it up behind you."

And with that, we headed through the wall, the throne closing behind us as Blanc dragged it back over the hole. "Simple yet effective," I remarked. "That's Blanc down to a T, isn't it?"

We walked through the dark tunnel, light gradually filling our eyes as we wandered through. Oddly, the light itself was blue, rather than something more traditional. As we exited the tunnel, this became apparent as to why.

A large crystalline cavern unfolded before us, sapphires irradiating light to keep the majority of the otherwise dark cavern visible. "Woah…" I couldn't hold in my awe.

"Hell of a system," IF observed as I noticed the lack of signs or other amenities that a normal system would have.. "I guess this was used for underground travel formerly, with another, more recent one having more artificial lighting and… Less enemies." She sighed as several rocks started to form together into a golem-like being, embedded with various gems, with some living flowers backing them up as they headed towards us.

"Nothing is ever easy." I mutter as I pulled Serenity out of its scabbard. Seems that even getting to Lastation is going to be an adventure.

A/N: Yeah, bit of a short one this time around, apologies if it seemed a little rushed, but Blanc's backstory took a lot of time to write out, considering the canon of Ultradimension.

To summarise in meta knowledge: Without Plutia and the gang to beat the shit out of Blanc originally and get her imprisoned after Mr. Badd backstabs her, Mr. Badd was able to gain leverage over her in a different way, by compiling a list of things that would more likely than not achieve the same effect as the fight (I.E. Tanking Blanc's shares.), which allowed for the Seven Sages to run rampant as the most powerful CPU in Ultradimension is now under their heel.

Now with IF and Koei heading to Anonydeath's Lab (The real one this time), can they take out the heel from Blanc's back and bring peace to the lonely CPU? What dangers await them in the madman's lab? Do you think that he'd mind that Koei and IF and basically breaking, entering and destroying the shit he is working hard to reclaim?

But before we end, I do want to make that announcement. Edit from the future: THIS IS IRRELEVANT. The next chapter will continue the story. It is just that at the time I wanted it to be a seasonal episode. Keeping this up for posterity, though.

The next chapter will not be the continuing adventures of KoeIffy!

Jeering and boos

Instead, I have something more grand in mind. A nice, chunky one shot halloween themed chapter!

Cheers and rejoicing

I'll explain more in the chapter itself. Just watch this space, it'll be here sooner than you think. Until then, stay spooky!