A/N: Hey, don't look at me like that, the last two chapters were nearly 20k words! Give me a break!

Anyway, mailbag!

Ezik: Hey, thanks! I think it gets funnier like 24 chapters in, though. Just a thought.

Blaze2121: Ah fuck it, I already ruined Ultradimension, might as well throw Megadimension in too. Might end up less confusing that the UD arc. Maybe.

I make 0 promises.

EnderSoul1401: GUST THANKS YOU FOR YOUR PATRONAGE, PLEASE SUPPORT HER ON PAYTREON.

Ahem

Noire wanted to be relevant again, so she shoved herself into the plot.

Enough jabbering, on with the show!

"We need to talk?" I asked, not really sure what Noire wanted to talk about. "Is it about breaking and entering into this lab, the robot crab I nearly unleashed upon the world, the pile of molten slag that could have been used to further advance research in Lastation, stealing documents-"

"I… what the hell have you been-" Noire shook her head, cutting herself off before she could begin a rant. "N-no, none of that. Come back with me to Lastation, there's something I need to show you."

She turned around for a second, before turning back. "Wait, did IF get bigger while I was away? Is there some sort of size technology in there?"

I blinked. "No? This is my version of IF? Pretty sure if there was size enhancement technology, you'd have much bigger problems… Literally." I smiled at my horrible pun.

Noire put a palm to her face. "Yeah I walked into that one." She took a moment to remove her hand. "Anyway, just follow me. I still need to show you something."

Complying, we followed the tsundere out of the lab into the late afternoon sunlight. "Damn, been a long day." I noted to nobody's surprise.

"You're telling me, because that paperwork was a btich to sort out." Noire sighed tiredly. "That merchant did not help. She was relentless."

Continuing down the path back to Lastation, I saw the "rock" that served to hide the base. "Oh hey, it's Tom!" I pointed to the rock, while the two ladies looked at me in confusion.

"Koei, it's a rock." IF stated simply as we continued on.

"Yes and his name is Tom!" I insisted, to which my plea was ignored. Philistines.

The rest of the journey was made in silence, until we finally got back to Lastation. Even then, Noire and IF remained quiet as we walked to the Basilicom. Once we got there, Noire kindly opened the single door that represented the Basilicom's entrance and I nodded gratefully as we walked through.

The Basilicom was as you expect, fancy, bureaucratic, all that shit. Of course it was significantly less polished than the Hyperdimension counterpart, what with paint feeling, some patches of mould, and I think I saw a rat somewhere.

"You really need to polish this place up." I note as we headed up the stairs to what I assume where Noire's quarters.

Noire gave me a deadly glare. "I'm working on it, thank you for informing me." She struggled to stay polite as each word was forced out. Approaching what I assumed to be her room, she stopped suddenly.

"We're here already? I wanted to tease you more." I feign sadness as I got another death glare.

"Thankfully for my declining sanity, yes. Now, BEHOLD!" Noire dramatically flung open the doors, revealing a screen, along with some form of device on the floor with a sparking rift above it. On the screen was a familiar face.

"Oh hey there Slightly Better Dressed Noire, how are you doing?" I walk towards the screen, ignoring the heat of the glare that Ultradimension Noire was giving me.

"Good," Noire tossed her hair carelessly. "Discovered my counterpart in another dimension, helped make a gate between our dimensions before that creep, and now I find out that you're not dead! So you know, ups and downs."

I playfully rolled my eyes. "Thanks." I thought back to the rift, still sparking. "Is that rift safe, though?"

Noire put a hand to her chin. "Well, that's what we've been trying to confuckle out." She shook her head. "While the rift itself seems stable, we haven't put a living being through it for… Obvious reasons."

"I volunteer as tribute?" I shrugged.

"Please do." The other Noire piped up from behind me as I flipped her off.

"Well, if you insist, just step in there. There is one caveat, though." The Hyperdimension Noire continued. "Despite our supreme intellect, we haven't found a way to get from here to where you are, meaning that this is a one way trip. Are you sure you want to-"

"FUCK YES." I said, stepping into the rift instantly, causing my body to warp and twist in ways not known by science. It wasn't painful, just weird.

Eventually, I fell onto the floor of a familiar Basilicom, as I saw Noire walk towards me before picking me up. "Incredibly stupid, yet undeniably brave. That's the Koei I know." She sighed before dusting me off as I looked at the screen, IF and the Ultradimension Noire on the other end, mouths agape.

"What? Something on my face?" I feel around my face as IF's hand mated with her own face, muttering something as she walked into the rift herself. A moment of two later, she walked out of the other end, still muttering.

"Well, that worked better than I expected." The Ultradimension Noire spoke up again, her voice crackling slightly over the screen. "Least I'm rid of that asshole."

I flipped her off again. "Well, if you don't mind me, I'mma go drink." With that, I grabbed IF's arm and started to head out of the Hyperdimension Basilicom.

Oh Lastation, you and your lung killing air was never missed until now. I wanted to take a deep breath for narrative purposes, but my lungs are too important for that, so a smile would have to do.

Poking IF, she finally snapped back to reality and took her hand off of her face. "Well, now that we're back in Hyperdimension, what do we do?"

"Go home and crash." I stated simply before starting to head to the subway station, IF following not far behind.

The subway was shock of shocks, uneventful. Though the seats did feel comfier than usual to my tired, battered body.

Several quiet minutes of train riding later, we were back in Planeptune like nothing happened. My watch was on the fritz, probably due to dimension tripping so I couldn't exactly check the time, but by my estimation it had to be early afternoon at worst.

Chronological disparity is a hell of a drug.

So we walked back to the Planeptune Basilicom, showed my ID to the guards and headed up the elevator, finally arriving to-

"Oh hey Kopey!" Plutia greeted as soon as I walked out of the door, waving lazily as she is prone to do.

"Hey Ploot." I wave back, walking past her before collapsing onto the sofa, the cushions comfily absorbing my weight as I sank into the furniture further. "Ahhh, fucking hell I need this."

IF sat next to me. "My, my, does somebody need a bit of… Excitement?" she ran her finger up my body in a very suggestive manner.

I took one look at her, got up and promptly fucked off to a bedroom. Any bedroom, closed the door behind me and ensured it was locked. I then headed to the nearest pillow and proceeded to scream into it until I ran out of breath.

Needless to say I wasn't ready for that. Nowhere. Fucking. Near.

Knock, knock

"Koei? Are you alright?" IF's concerned voice echoed through the door, calming me somewhat.

"Aside from the usual? Yeah, I guess." I put my back against the door, not wanting to open it.

"I… I was joking, by the way. To be honest, I'm not ready for that level of commitment myself." IF confessed, as I heard a thud, presumably IF leaning onto the door. "I mean, I haven't really dated anyone. Compa was pretty adamant about staying "just friends" and nobody else really interested me until you came along."

"Aw, so you do care." I snarked somewhat, leaning against the door, audibly sighing. "We really are an odd couple, huh?"

"I think you make this relationship weird, Koei." IF snarked through the door. "But you know, the good kind of weird, like-"

"Neptune?" I interrupted.

"Heh, yeah." IF replied. "Wanna open this door so I can nep you myself?"

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. "Does that mean what I think it means?" I ask cautiously as I unlocked the door, opening it as I looked into her eyes, her very suggestive eyes…

"Well, if you insist." she teased, her hand gently caressing my arm.

"HEY! NO LEWD ALLOWED!" Neptune popped out quite literally out of nowhere, scaring the bajeezus out of IF and I. "This is a T-Rated fanfiction! If you two wanna get it on, get a M-rated spinoff! This isn't a hentai, you goddamn degenerates!"

I stared at her incredulously. "Ya done, cockblocker?"

She nodded happily. "Yeah. Have fun with your T-rated romance!" before bounding off to nowhere.

"Well, that was a mood killer if I ever needed one. I need to run some… Errands. You comin' with, or?" IF prodded me into doing work, ugh.

"Nah." I replied. "I'mma catch some Zs, feels like this day has been going on forever…"

"It's only been four chapters!" Neptune yelled some nonsense from outside the room, I rolled my eyes in response.

"Sounds good. See ya later, then." IF proceeded to leave the room, closing the door behind her.

I took off my shoes and other lower clothing, before throwing myself into bed, quite literally. I didn't care that this wasn't my assigned room, I'm fucking knackered.

A few hours wouldn't hurt…

A/N: And now we go into Koei Der Toten! SEAMLESS TRANSITION, 10/10 WRITING!

Still, while you're waiting for the next chapter, you have the perfect chance to read or re-read Koei Der Toten! Surely you wouldn't disappoint me by not reading it?

(FUCKING SHILL. - Neptune)

Yeah, yeah.