Nepspooktion Theme
Ahahhaa! Welcome dear readers to the first ever Koei Tech Halloween Special! I am your host, Spooktune and I-
Can we get on with it? The chapter's already long enough as it is without padding.
Bah, fine. Well, as a Special Chapter!(Trademark), this is unconnected from the current ongoing Ultradimension arc. It actually takes place riiight after it, but do not fret! There will be no spoilers for what happens! It will be offhandedly mentioned but that's about it!
Maybe you should also explain that this chapter, it being unconnected from the canon of the story, is a little bit… More insane?
A little bit? Koei, have you read this shit? This makes the rest of the story look positively sane!
It is also a smidgen more raunchy than the typical chapter, but probably not as bad as say, Hyperdimension Neptunia: The Animation.
You do realize that this story is basically in that timeline now? Think about it.
I'd rather not. Not that the anime is bad, but... That beach episode would pump this to an M rating easily.
Well with that, we'll hand it off to the actual story!
Yeah, no mailbag this time, as this isn't a plot related chapter. Next chapter we'll have an extra large mailbag segment to make up for it. Please enjoy our feature presentation!
Bye! Don't get spooked!
Oh? I'm getting a signal from the future~
The what?
It says that the above statement is to be ignored, as Koei Der Toten is now considered canon!
Imagine the great protagonist Neptune, being wrong!
Go Nep yourself Koei, this is a post publishing redaction. Not even I can detect those!
Right, so the chapter?
Shoot! Enjoy!
I awoke to a dark and stormy night, which was rather uncharacteristic all things considered as Gamindustri was rather samey weather-wise. Still, it was dark and stormy, which meant going to Celestia wasn't an option, so IF and I decided to stay in for the evening.
As I walked into the main living room of the Planeptune Basilicom, I was in for a nasty shock. Nepgear was up on a stepladder and decorating, but her outfit had completely changed. Her usual lilac locks were replaced with a blonde head of hair, with a red ribbon on top of her hair that was shaped like a bunny ears. Her dress more resembled a scientist's coat and from the angle I could see her at, I could almost see-
Yup, green striped panties. I mean, if this was some sort of reference, she pulled it off well, at least.
Cicini swooped down from the orange sky, prepared to pull off her ultimate attack, as she, Vanilla and Chocolate planned for this "Halloween" lark that the residents of Rabi-Ribi Island were sorely unaware of.
This was until a brick smashed her straight on her skull, appearing from nowhere and disappearing just as quickly. Now, Cincini was unharmed by said brick (She had taken hammer hits to the skull from Erina beforehand and was preparing to do so again with this ultimate attack) but she was floored by the sheer momentum of it.
"Agh… Can we get a take two on that desperation move? I think I just got Brick Joke'd!"
Nepgear noticed my shocked expression after a few moments, taking her time getting down from the stepladder and approaching me.
"Oh hey Koei, what's with that expression? You look like you've seen a ghost or something!" She giggled innocently. Something was not right here.
"Uh, NepG? You look like you forgot your pants… And socks… and your entire lower half of the body. You sure you don't need pants?"
Nepgear looked down at her clothing and looked at me with a confused look. "Well, Neptune told me to wear this as a "Halloween Costume", I think she said?"
Hand met face. That actually makes sense, all things considered. Along with this, the decorations started to make sense, as there were cobwebs, pumpkins and the like hanging around the Basilicom.
I rubbed the back of my head. "Yeah… Should have caught on. Nice costume, though!"
Nepgear glowed at the praise. "Goodness, thank you! I wasn't sure about it when big sis talked about dressing up like this, but she's getting her own costume too, apparently. This is kind of fun!"
I sat down on the sofa and contemplated. It seems that Neptune wanted to throw a Halloween get together for whatever reason. I hadn't kept track of time since coming here, but surely it couldn't have been October yet? Oh, whatever. Passage of time is bullshit anyway.
"Guess that means I'll need a costume." I mutter to myself, loud enough for Nepgear to hear, who ran over to me.
"I think sis set you and IF up with costumes already! Go check your bedroom and see for me, won't you? The others will be here soon!"
The others? Oh god, this will be a full on bash. Heading over to my bedroom as instructed, I saw a set of clothes laid out neatly on the bed. A pair of red gloves, a long jacket that would probably hang very close to the ground and strangest of all, a mask like you were at a masquerade, shaped like a beak.
Switching to my suit, I put on the clothing provided before checking myself out in the mirror. This was probably some sort of reference I didn't get, but the getup suited me well. I looked like some sort of thief who disappears into the night like a phantom.
A phantom thief? What a quaint idea.
(Current Music: Beneath the Mask - Persona 5)
Strutting out of the bedroom, I showed off my form to Nepgear, after taking the mask off. As nice as it was, it concealed my face a little too well. Good for thievery, bad for other things.
"You look fantastic, Koei! Neptune really picked out an outfit that suits you!" Nepgear's incandescent happiness spread to me, even on this night of spooks on scares, she's still so goddamn cute, even while looking like a slutty scientist.
"Told you, I'm the best at referencing other games!" Neptune piped up, carrying a massive box of pudding in with her. For once, I think it's not just for her as I stare at the gelatinous pile.
After putting it down, I took a better look at her. She'd dyed her hair a generic blonde and her usual outfit was replaced by one that covered far more of her body. She was actually wearing pants (Well, shorts.), along with a red jacket on a black undershirt. On her back was a strange red sword that while it did glow, didn't seem to be a weapon.
"Checking me out, Koei? I'm really feelin' this outfit, don't you?" She said smugly, her smug aura smugly flowing from her smugness.
"You look like a dude," I stated. "But aside from that it's a pretty good outfit."
"Heck yeah it is, the sword prop even glows! You can thank Nep Jr. for this awesome cosplay! NOW IT'S NEP TIME!" She thrust her prop sword into the air, nearly knocking out a light in the process, but it generally made her look rather badass, despite how silly she was being.
"Well, you said that we wanted to make Koei's first Halloween here special, so I worked hard on that prop… Monado, was it?" Nepgear piped up, on the stepladder tending to decorations. "I think Koei looks rather dapper, though."
"Dapper wouldn't be the right word, but thank you anyway, NepG." I comment, heading to the counter and opening a box up. It was filled with pudding, rather obviously.
"H-hey! Don't mess with my pudding supply!" Neptune ran over and rather suddenly closed the box, before shoving it to one side and opening a second box. It was full of snacky stuff.
"Huh, is this for the party?" I asked the cosplaying CPU, who nodded curtly.
"Be a dear and set out some bowls. Histy's running late, and she was supposed to set out the bowls." Neptune pointed to a variety of bowls all stacked and ready to be served out, so I started opening bags, emptying the contents into bowls and placing them onto a long buffet table that I swore wasn't here earlier. Whatever, semantics. Lot of rooms in this tower, probably some sort of storage closet or whatever.
A few minutes later, various snacks of every kind were set out. Sweet, sour, savoury, crunchy, chewy, crumbly. Neptune had gone all out for this buffet, must have cost a ton of Credits. "Quite a lot of tat you have here, Nep." I turn to the crossdressing CPU, as she was eating pudding. It was sort of impressive to see this work ethic from her.
"Well, wanted to make sure this party went off without a hitch, so I put some effort into my work for once. Is that weird?"
I shrugged. "I mean, it is for you, but considering it's not actually related to your usual work, I'm not surprised?"
Neptune stuck out her tongue adorably. "Well, does it matter? I'm doing things that make others happy and if I can do that, then life can't be so bad!"
I was starting to suspect that Neptune was just using this party to slack off, but I let it slide, because after the whole Ultradimension debacle, I needed a break.
"Yeah, fine. I'm sure you sent Histoire out for unrelated reasons, so I guess I'll fill in for her." I gave a wink as I emphasised those words to make sure we were on the same level.
Neptune seemed to get my message, as she shot a thumbs up back, before getting back to her pudding.
I wandered to the elevator that served as the entrance to the upper Basilicom. I wasn't intending to go out, but just waited for people to turn up while Neptune and Nepgear did their Neptune and Nepgear things. They seemed to have a handle on things and I wanted to greet any guests who did happen to swing by while they were still busy setting up.
As if on cue, a ding indicated that someone had arrived. Purple and black flowed from the elevator as she walked in, sword in tow. Ebony hair flew in strings, complementing the neon purple and gold of her outfit. Her sword resembled a broadsword and it seemed to have some heft to it. On top of all this she wore a purple butterfly hair clip that seemed to keep her hair as nice as it was, which was a cute touch.
Still, I can't help but feeling I've seen her before…
"Koei, can you stop staring?" Noire's voice broke through the facade that her costume put on. "I know this is probably the best costume you've ever seen, but you staring at me like that is weird."
"O-oh!" I averted my eyes for a moment from the tsundere Lastation CPU, not recognizing her initially, but it made sense now. "Hey, your fashion sense got better since the last time we saw each other at least!"
"Despite the cosplay, the sword is very much real, Koei." Noire gave a half lidded look before hefting her broadsword onto her shoulder for emphasis. Thing looked heavy too. "Though your costume looks pretty good too, at least for something that you threw together at the last minute. Needs a mask to complete the look, though."
I put on the mask.
"Yeah, that about works. Must be hard to see out of that mask, though."
"It is." I concur before taking it back off. "As much as it ties together the piece, it's very impractical for a party. Much unlike your costume."
Noire politely giggled. "Oh thank you. I was looking for a sort of high fantasy meets modern fashion look on the Internep and found this. The contacts are a bit uncomfortable, though." Noire pointed to her usually crimson eyes, now purple to suit the rest of her getup.
"Well, go enjoy the party. It won't be for a bit, but Neptune and Nepgear are here, at least and I got the food out."
"Thanks. Are you just acting as a doorman, though? Seems a bit odd considering that you just got back from Ultradimension."
I shrug. "I'm considering tonight a night off after that mess. No point bringing it up any more than I did already."
Noire nodded before marching off towards the buffett I laid out not minutes before. I headed over to the fridge myself and grabbed a beer I had bought earlier on in the day and took a drink of it. Ah, that's the stuff.
Wait, this didn't taste like booze! Looking at the can, it was… Pumpkin spice?
"Neptune, what in the fu-"
"Trick or treat!" Neptune sprang up from nowhere, holding a pumpkin carved with her visage. "I replaced your beer with pumpkin spice! But it's a trick and treat, because it's still beer!"
I started at the can and back at Neptune. "How long have you been planning this for? Between the elaborate costumes, the decorations and the buffet, it seems like it would have taken you a few days at least?"
Neptune winked. "Ah, the power of off-screen shenanigans, my dear Koei. Don't think about it too hard, protagonist powers are hard to comprehend unless you're a genius like me."
I playfully rolled my eyes. "Alright Super Genius Protagonist of Protagonists, simmer down. You know Noire's here, right?" I pointed to the cosplaying Noire, munching on some potato chips.
Neptune tilted her head in confusion. "No, that's Tohka."
Noire, hearing our exchange placed a hand to her face. "Goddammit Neptune, we talked about this."
Neptune staggered back, as the illusion shattered and Noire's voice filled her ears. "Dang Noire, you really pulled out the stops on that. I didn't even recognize you!"
Not removing her hand from her face, Noire mumbled incomprehensibly as I grabbed a second beer from the fridge and handed it to her. Might as well get someone else on the road to alcoholism while helping her cope with Neptune… being Neptune.
"Thanks, Koei." She cracked open the drink and took a large swig. "Mmm, is this pumpkin spice? Festive!" I saw her eyes light up for a moment.
"Yeah, it's pretty neat. Neptune's idea, though." I pointed to the CPU, now on yet another pudding. It's pretty difficult not to see Neptune when she's munching down on pudding the way she does.
Still, I had to know something. "Hey, Nep. How many people did you invite?" I asked curiously, seeing the large spread that I had set up earlier again and thinking it might be a little much.
"Oh! Well, Blanc and Vert are definitely coming soon, at least. This is the first major event since the treaty, of course they'd have to arrive here. There's you and Iffy, of course, but aside from that, who knows?"
I took a swig of beer. Pretty typical Neptune to organize this entire thing then forget the actual guestlist. "Speaking of, I should check on her, Try not to anger Noire, I don't think she's bluffing about her sword being real."
Before Neptune could make some sort of joke about swords, I went to IF's quarters, beer in hand. While Compa was more than happy to keep housing IF (And I more than agreed with her due to that incident.), Histoire insisted that she at the very least stay at the Basilicom tonight to rest. Though I suppose it works out that she's here for the party as well.
I knocked on the door gently. "Hey, Iffy? You doin' alright in there?" I ask in my most "caring boyfriend" voice I can muster. It wasn't much, but I tried.
"I'd… Rather not answer." Came the somewhat muffled reply from IF. "Can you come on and make sure this costume is on right?"
"You uh… sure about that? I don't want to catch a glimpse of anything-"
"NOT LIKE THAT!" Came a sudden yell, startling me as I leapt backwards. "I just mean make sure it looks good! My room doesn't have a mirror!"
O-oh good. Phew, thinking a bit too lewdly, I think. Looking around to make sure nobody had eyes on the door, I opened it as narrowly as possible before sneaking in and shutting it behind me.
Turning around, I saw IF and… Damn. She had completely changed. Gone was her leafy bow, replaced with a penguin-esque cap that somehow split her hair into two somewhat lengthy strands, flowing most of the way down her figure. Her eyes still had that emerald green look that I fell in love with, but what lay below was a completely different jacket blue and white to compliment the hat, along with a white undershirt that had a yellow and blue collar that hung out a bit to act as a sort of scarf. That and a small backpack I couldn't see fully, but the straps where over her shoulders and ended just under her armpits, so it wasn't a very large bag, more like a pouch? Down from there, she was actually wearing a navy skirt that at the very least, went down to her thighs, matching thigh high socks and simple brown shoes instead of her usual knee high boots.
Taking the whole package in, I breathed. This might go awry if I didn't state exactly how she looked. "Yeah I can see why you'd be a tad uncomfortable with that. It is a pretty great outfit… Despite the breeze."
IF blushed at my compliment. "You think it looks good? I guess I can live with the breeze if you like it. That and I don't think Nep would be happy if just stayed in my usual outfit, so I guess I can make this work for tonight." IF grabbed a baseball bat that I didn't notice was on the bed before slinging it over her shoulder. "Yeah. I can make this work."
She felt more comfortable at least, though I'm not sure that it was my pep talk or if it was the whole outfit coming together. Either way, we did walk out of her accommodation to see the others chatting merrily.
IF tugged at me from behind. Turning to her, she leaned into my ear and whispered "Is Gear supposed to be pantless? I can almost see her-"
I nodded before she could finish, leading to a sigh of relief from the middle school looking woman… Actually. "IF, how old are you?" I whispered, trying not to be heard by the rest of the people in the world.
IF snickered to herself. "You're only asking now? Well, you know I'm perfectly legal to drink and I have a job, that should be an indication. Despite my looks, I am in fact a legal adult." IF winked, not answering the question, but I got the message… I think.
It's actually kind of weird that she looks younger than Neptune in that outfit, but I guess that's because it's a school uniform-esque outfit rather than the usual one I was used to. I probably looked a bit younger myself with the edgy teenager clothing, so it all worked out.
Probably.
We head to the three other costumed characters, all idly chattering by. Neptune was the first to notice the now costumed IF. "Wow, is that really Iffy? I can't tell if she is or if a rift opened and we're in a crossover!"
IF's hand met face now. "Why did you even pick this out for me…"
"Meta humor!" Neptune winked at nobody in particular, though I felt a disturbance in the space time continuum as I turned to where she was winking towards. "Aside from that, I thought you'd look super neat in it, and you do! Suits you almost as well as Noire over there!" Neptune pointed to the tsundere in question, who was probably at least halfway through that can of pumpkin spice beer by now. I wasn't far behind, honestly.
"So, aside from drinking excessively in fancy dress, you got any other plans, Nep?" I ask almost dismissively. Honestly though, that didn't sound too bad of an idea, but that might be the pumpkin spice kicking in.
"Well, I didn't really plan beyond costumes, decorations, and buffet. I was hoping this would be enough for us to hang out and relax, you know?" Neptune answers, scratching her chin thoughtfully.
"Yeah, maybe I was overthinking this. Thanks, Nep. It's been a stressful few days, so having some time to kick back is nice. The festivities are also appreciated." I say with some genuine heart in my voice.
Neptune smiled at me. "Spreading happiness is my job, Koei. Whether that is to the people who have faith in me or my friends."
Finishing off a can of pumpkin spice beer and placing it in an empty bin, I proceeded to get another out of the fridge. There was plenty for everyone here, so I had an idea.
Taking another 4 cans, I handed one to each person there aside from myself. "So how's about a toast to friendship? On the count of three?"
Everyone nodded. "One. Two. THRE-"
(Song End)
"Everyone! I have dire news!" Histoire rushed in, the only one without a costume for some reason. "A mob has gathered outside the Basilicom with a thirst for knowledge and despite my pleas, I could not get them to calm down. I know this is a big favour to ask of you all, but it seems they won't calm down until they get what they want."
I sighed resentfully. Of course things wouldn't be that easy. This is still Gamindustri. "Sure, whatever. I'm sure whatever they want, we can take care of peacefully. Maybe they'll even appreciate our costumes."
Everyone else murmured in agreement as we headed to the elevator. Well, everyone except Histoire, who seemed too panicked to follow. Poor fairy never gets a break either.
Going down was suspenseful, but it was a fairly short trip, albeit a tad cramped, forcing me to squeeze against IF a bit. Probably a bad idea to go at once, but it was other before it was too uncomfortable.
Getting out, we all made for the front door, but before we could even make it there, it burst open, revealing the mob that Histoire informed us about. They seemed to be normal people at a glance, but their flesh was rotting, their eyes had no pupils and their clothing was torn. Weirdest of all though was their vocal pattern. All they said was "Brains!"
"... I didn't think a thirst for knowledge was literal, Histoire." I deadpanned before finishing my second can of pumpkin spice and throwing it by the wayside.
"So uh… Did anyone bring their weapons?" Neptune asked the obvious question, bringing out her "blade" as an example. "This is cool and all, but against those guys this might as well be a paperweight."
I tried to access my UI Glo-
Firmware Update required. Start now?
I turned to Noire, who had a sheepish grin on her face. "H-hey, don't look at me like that! It was a vital bug fix. It should only take a few… Hours…" She snapped back quickly, however. "E-even so, you should have updated, there was a notification and everything."
I shrugged. "Even if I did, I kinda got used to carrying around my stuff again, so Serenity wouldn't have been in my inventory…"
Four palms met four faces as the dead kept shambling, surprisingly slow all things considered. "Plus, you have that sweet-ass broadsword anyway, Noire! You go gettem, tiger!"
Noire shot me a nonplussed look. "I've been training with rapiers for years, you can't throw me into a zombie infested crowd with a sword I can't use effectively! It'd be like expecting you to nail headshots with those pistols of yours!"
Ouch. I turned to Nepgear, who shrugged herself. "I left my Beam Saber in the lab. Too busy working on Neptune's Monado replica."
Goddammit. I turned to IF. "Seriously? You expect me to have my katars on hand when I'm not on a job?"
"You're the only one here with a viable weapon. Unlike some people here, a baseball bat is both practical and easy to use, so batter up. Baseball bats are common in zombie movies anyway!"
IF shot me a glare. "No. Do you see that horde? I'd be swarmed in the time it would take for you to realize we could go back up the ele-"
Ding
The elevator started to go back up. Without any of us in it. "Speak of the devil and he'll fuck you over. Don't think that would have helped anyway, they're still flooding in." I sighed and pointed to the doors, which still had tens of zombies flowing in.
I saluted to nobody in particular. "Well, it was nice knowing you all." Never thought it would end like this, knee deep in the dead, completely unarmed and drunk on pumpkin spice. The sounds of four other cans cracking echo'd as everyone took their last moments to savour the taste of the beverage.
It was then, as a zombie lunged at me, aiming for my jugular that everything stopped.
I art thou. Thou art I. Thou hast acquired a new vow that shalt become the holy flames that shall purge the undead from this world. With the aid of The Wild Card, thou and thy companions shalt adopt the powers of those you wear on this most cursed of nights and shall fade with the coming dawn. Use thou power well, Sociopath…
As soon as that last word echoed in my mind, a wave of power and memories swept over me. The memories of a teenager wronged by the corrupt, who rose to become the hero of Tokyo through the power of stealing hearts. The one who would wield the strength of all 22 Major Arcanas.
The one who wielded The Fool.
A burst of blue flame erupted across the room, annihilating the undead present while leaving everything else intact. A few moments of reorientation later, and I felt a weight in my right hand. A dagger now occupied what was once empty, along with feeling a slight weight around my thighs, which were more than likely The WIld Card's pistols.
I'll admit, getting used to another entire set of memories was weird, but everything not related to making use of the dagger and pistols (Rather hilarious, considering my own usual arsenal was not much different.) faded to nothing eventually, leaving me back as Koei, memories and all.
Still, I felt strength within I hadn't felt in a while. It was weird, but it's not even the weirdest thing that has happened today, so I'll take what I can get, especially if it means not being mauled.
Speaking of taking what I could get, I turned to my comrades, who seemed to be in the same boat I was, albeit with a few changes.
Neptune's blade seemed to to have a sharpness it didn't have originally, along with having a strange symbol in the circle close to the hilt.
Nepgear now wielded a dinky ray gun, like you'd see green men use in cliche alien movies, but that seemed to be it, so thankfully she didn't lose more clothes.
Noire seemed to have an aura about her now, along with being able to heft her claymore like it was nothing. That and she had a fucking claymore instead of the more generic broadsword she was using earlier, etches running down the blade, along with a ruby embedded in the handle. Frankly, it made Serenity look puny in comparison.
Finally, IF looked exactly the same as she did before. Not even her bat changed. Wait… Her eyes were now hazel instead of the emerald I was now used to, along with her hair being around the same length as Noire's now. Of course everyone gets a sweet-ass weapon except Iffy, I feel bad now.
Still, this left one question. "What the utter fuck just happened?" I thought aloud, as everyone finally came to.
"Yeah, one moment Koei's about to get his throat ripped out, the next everything's on fire and I'm getting memories about this "Tohka" someone or other." Noire rubbed her head. "And now I have this sword and know how to use it… Just now this "Tohka" evades me. I thought I was her for a moment or two, but no, I'm Noire again."
"What a trip… I don't think I'd be able to explain what happened to me without 100 hours or so to work with. And I don't think I have that sort of time." Neptune hefted her blade on her shoulder. "Got my Monado upgraded to a fully fledged Mechon slaying machine, though!"
"Neptune aside," IF's time to come back to reality. "I remember dying and then thinking I was in a dream, leading a penguin army, or something? All I know is that I think I know how to use this thing now." She placed her hands on the bat, which seemed to resonate with her. "I mean, I could use it like a sword or axe, that'll be good enough… I think."
Everyone turned to Nepgear, who shrugged. "I was doing some research on fairies when a rabbit with a hammer attacked me, that's all I got. Oh and this!" She slammed her foot and two rockets lifted her up into the air. It seems they were fixated to the back of her legs, but ejected to either side of her to maintain balance.
"Uh… Nep Jr.? You're still not wearing pants." Neptune helpfully pointed out, causing an eep before she landed again.
"WHY DID YOU SUGGEST THIS COSTUME NEPTUNE I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"
Neptune rubbed her head in shame. "I think I lost focus by the time I got to your costume, Nep Jr. I had the scientist part down and had a bunny ear ribbon set out, but then I took a pudding break and forgot about it…"
Everyone present murmured something about "typical Neptune", much to the girl's chagrin. "H-hey! I didn't plan for the dead to rise either, but you know, now we have cool powers and get to beat things up!"
"I mean, she's not wrong." I agreed, surprising myself along with everyone else. "Maybe it's the booze talking, but this seems like the perfect opportunity to blow off some steam by blowing off some zombie heads!"
"I mean, I guess…" Noire agreed reluctantly, the blade over her shoulder glinting from the lights above.
"That's the spirit, Koei!" Neptune enthusiastically thrust her blade into the air, causing it to glint as well.
"Well, this ray gun is rather fascinating." Nepgear's scientific curiosity barely overriding her embarrassment from earlier, along with the cold more than likely as the gun glinted too.
"... To hell with it, if Koei's in, I'm in." IF shrugged, hefting her bat onto her shoulder, the wood glinting… Somehow.
"Then let's send these bastards right back to the graveyard!" I lifted my newly acquired dagger into the air, it gave off a final glint as we all accepted that tonight wasn't going to get any less weird.
Walking out of the newly exposed Basilicom, the dead were shuffling around, as you might expect from a typical cliche zombie movie. Or your average Monday.
Among the humans, there were some shorter, fatter ones that all shared the same bowl cut and flannel shirt combo, zombified purple dogoos and even some Bits, leaking oil onto the floor as they floated lazily.
"Well, good thing we got these new powers, we got some work cut out for us…" I pulled out my pistol, moreso resembling a normal one than the modified pair that I was used to and fired a few potshots to catch their attention. To my surprise, one of those shots nailed one of the shorter ones in it's large head, leading it to fade into data rather anticlimactically.
The zombified mobs did not take kindly to their kind being shot at as a group broke off from the horde in order to attack us (Or me more specifically) directly.
"Goddammit Koei…" IF piped up, walking to my side before pulling out- WAIT A BOMB? "I'll just have to clear out this crowd myself! Here's the windup..." She boldly announced, tossing it up into the air, waiting for the perfect time to strike it. "AND HERE'S THE PITCH!"
SMASH!
KABOOM!
The group of zombies I had accidentally aggroed were now gone, replaced by a scorch mark where the bomb exploded.
I stared at IF for a moment. "Believing in yourself is the greatest power of all!" She said, embracing the cheesiness of that line with a thumbs up. "That and high explosives. Come on, we got a lot more undead to clear out of here and there's only so much time."
I nodded in agreement, heading down the street, taking time to slice a few unaware zombies in the jugular for a one hit kill, though if that was due to stealth or them being literally brain dead was up in the air.
Speaking of, Nepgear started using her rocket boots again, starting to rain down high powered plasma death to the crowds below. As long as I didn't look up, I wouldn't be the next victim so I continued to take out zombies one at a time.
Noire and Neptune were behind me, clearing out the other path using their swords, notably having a lot of area of effect with their attacks, allowing them to clear out their side with ease.
Despite my best efforts, I was more adept at single targeted attacks, with both IF and Nepgear being able to clear out several zombies in a few seconds. IF in particular seemed to be really into using her bat like an axe, making mighty swings that launched zombies into walls and into the crowd, dispersing it further. Nepgear's plasma shots were single target, but she fired several at a time and she was able to make sure each one hit their mark… Somehow.
As for me, I stuck to slashing necks with the occasional point blank headshot, unsure of how to fully take advantage of my close range style with mobs who you don't want near you. Everyone else seemed to have things under control, so why was I the only one risking my neck, somewhat literally?
Ahem.
I look behind me to see a towering spirit, mighty raven black wings sprouting from the tall and thin figure, a mask covering his face and a top hat that was dapper as fuck on the top of his head.
I am the great gentleman thief, Arsene. You are not my master, but you wield his aura? Very well. My strength is yours.
With that, he disappeared, but I did feel a little stronger. Looking at a nearby zombie who started to charge at me, I cast a simple curse, which while not the strongest thing I've cast, managed to knock it back and stun it for long enough to nail an easy shot, causing it to dissipate.
"I see you're getting the hang of things." IF said from my left, casually spinning before using the momentum to launch another zombie into the air.
I responded by casting another spell, this one being more of a slash than a curse, but as the slash left my body, I felt a little weaker. This was worrying, but seemed normal if my recollection of these powers were accurate.
"So, what's our goal here?" I ask aloud. "I mean carving a line through a zombie horde is great and all, but we probably need some form of goal, right?"
An explosion in the distance alerted us to the possibility of other… survivors, I guess? Honestly all these zombies look the same and fade into data, so they could just be generic monsters festivized for the occasion.
"Speak of the devil and he'll lead you by the nose." IF remarked, slamming her bat into a zombified dogoo, splattering purple goo everywhere. "Gross."
"Maybe don't smash your bat on the sacks of goo." I deadpan, dodging a lazy bat swing from the chunni. "Told you I'd start dodging those!"
IF playfully rolled her eyes. "I let you have that one, Neo. Go tell Nep and Noire over there to help us clear this crowd so we can move up faster."
I nodded, heading away from one crown and into another. "Hey lovebirds, I think we have a lead on some survivors. You wanna help out Iffy?"
Noire jammed her blade into a zombie with a sigh. "Never call us lovebirds again and it's a deal." Before hefting the large claymore onto her shoulder and walking towards the other group of undead being smashed and fried.
"She'll be fine, but can you help keep these guys off of me?" Neptune asked politely, rather uncharacteristically. I complied, firing a few shots into the crowd, successfully nailing a few headshots in the process, the shot zombies instantly turning into data. "Damn Koei, where'd you learn to aim?"
I shrugged. "Dunno. Only problem is that I have limited ammo in these puppies. I miss Peace and Tranquility."
"Infinite ammo is a crutch anyway." Neptune span around, her blade extending with a blue glow that carved several zombies in two. "This Monado on the other hand? This is fine." She stroked the blade in an almost lewd manner.
"Don't get too attached, something tells me this is a one night deal." I sighed as I reloaded my pistol. Reloading is weird to me. "Still, I feel like I got ripped off on this. You get a cool sword, Noire becomes a fuckin' Princess with a giant claymore, Nepgear got rocket boots…"
"And Iffy got a baseball bat, dude." Neptune's sword glowed before enveloping us in a yellow light. "Haha! Try and get through my shield, fiends!"
"Do you know how to use that thing, or?" I asked cautiously, not wanting to be enveloped in light randomly.
Neptune rotated her hand in a dismissive manner. "Pfft. it's not difficult to use a legendary artifact sword that can slay gods. I mean, you can use Serenity perfectly fine."
"Blow it out of your ass, Nep." I sigh, stabbing a zombie perhaps a little too hard in the skull, as it's empty skull shattered rather violently before dissipating into data. I was probably being more gung-ho than was necessary, but despite the fact that I couldn't trust Neptune further than I could toss her, I did in fact feel shielded.
"No, blow it out of your ass! MONADO BUSTA!" She yelled triumphantly, slamming the Monado onto the ground, causing it to crack slightly as the beam extended and annihilated a good ten meters of so ahead of her. Hefting the blade back onto her shoulder, her grin was needless to say, shit-eating.
"Did you just no you me followed by dropping by my estimation, a metric fuckton of damage?" I stand back in awe at the other sword wielding hero.
"Protagonist Aura, baby. That and the Monado is really overpowered once you get down to it. If I was designing costumes with balance in mind… Nah I'd still be Shulk."
I rolled my eyes at the girl's insane ramblings, shanking a zombie with my dagger again before turning to the other group, who had cleared quite a bit of ground in front of them. Leaving Neptune to her Neptune things, I headed to the other group.
"How are we doing on finding the source of that explosion?" I asked, prompting Noire to turn around mid zombie massacre.
"Well, we're getting closer, but it seems the explosions are coming from the air. Nepgear has seen some flames while up in the sky, so it might be some psychopath with an RPG raining down justice from above." Noire noted rather apathetically. "As long as Nepgear keeps an eye on the jetpack, we shouldn't be blow up by errant rockets."
"Awesome." I say, nonchalance in my voice. "I suppose being blown to pieces would be less painful overall!"
Noire rolled her eyes. "We're not going to die. Well, I won't."
"Tha-"
KABOOM!
An explosion literally right in front of me snapped me out of my sarcasm, the intense light and heat making me think I actually got hit.
After a moment or two to adjust my vision after that and my vision was mostly fine.
"Goddammit, WHY ARE PEOPLE OUT DURING THE APOCALYPSE?" A familiar voice came from above as an armored figure landed. Navy armor covered their entire body, with a wing like jetpack on their back and a blue helmet with an orange visor covering their face. In their hands was a handheld RPG. Yup, this was our rocketman alright.
The figure took their helmet off, revealing that it was of all people, Blanc. "Dammit Vert, I know the helmet completes the costume, but I nearly killed Koei! God these things are impractical!" She complained to nobody in particular.
"I KNOW, RIGHT?!" I reply, taking out my impractical mask to prove a point. "Why do people even bother with these?"
"I knew that I should have gotten the Reinhardt costume." Vert's voice came as she floated down. She wore a skintight orange and white suit, with mechanical wings and a halo that made her look like an angel. Along with this, she carried a staff that was emitting a yellow beam right into Blanc's outfit. It was hard to tell in the night, but I think she dyed her hair too.
"You wanted to go as a couple because "Koei and IF would totally show us up if we didn't come as a couple!"" Blanc snarked back, clearly unhappy with her choice of outfit.
"Trouble in paradise, huh?" IF sauntered over to the bickering couple, placing her hand on my shoulder as if staking a claim on me. "Yeah, Nep picked out our outfits for us, but I don't think we would have agreed on a couple's costume anyway."
"Haha, no." I agreed enthusiastically. "Half the time I'm not even sure if Iffy here likes me, let alone going to a party with matching costumes."
"True that. I mean I'm pretty sure we've spent most of our time together insulting each other mercilessly." Iffy continued to comment on our perfectly normal relationship.
"Better than the lovey dovey crap Vert keeps trying to pull on me." Blanc turned around, firing a rocket into the incoming horde of zombies, before turning back and reloading. "I only agreed to this because of the prop rocket launcher. Then suddenly zombies are attacking us as soon as we get out of the subway and we can't go HDD."
Vert sighed, clearly sick of her partner's shit. "That much is true. We also ended up leaving our weapons at home, thought we were going to see the end of our lives, when the horde burst into flames and suddenly we had the powers of our costumes."
Blanc finished reloading with a cocky grin and a cocking of her rocket launcher. "And now I can blow shit up all night!"
"Only Blanc would be this excited about imminent violence." I muttered mostly to myself as both newcomers took back off into the air, raining justice down ahead of us instead of nearly killing me.
"Well, that was fun." IF noted, before walking forward and slamming her bat down on a nearby zombie, making its body compact in a rather painful looking fashion before exploding into data. "But now that we've found out that the source of our explosions is far worse than we could have imagined, we need a place to hide out for the night. The Basilicom's a no-go, because the doors have been kicked open and the elevator will bring them straight to us…"
"I assume the subway is overflowing with zombies and it'd be too dangerous to travel by foot to another nation…" I continue.
Neptune walked up to us, putting an arm on each of us. "Ladies, ladies. You're forgetting about the Planepark! You know, that arena that I totally didn't make up just now!"
I took the crossdresser's arm off of me. "First of all, rude. Second of all, I have no idea what the fuck a Planepark is, but it sounds like… A shockingly good idea. Lead the way." I stepped backwards to emphasize my point.
Neptune didn't seem to care about my backhanded compliment as she charged forward recklessly, going absolutely fucking nuts on the zombie populace.
"I uh… Is she going to be alright?" I pointed to the whirlwind of zombie limb removal that was the Planeptune CPU.
IF rolled her eyes. "You live with her. How is this unexpected?"
I shrugged. "Fair point."
The evening continued as Neptune rampaged across her nation, tearing zombies limb from limb with the power of… Backhanded compliments?
"... I'm just saying, I'd totally be a tank, not a DPS. Rocket launchers are cool and all, but they lack the up close carnage that a hammer can dish out, ya know?" Blanc had been on her tirade about her choice of costume for the last 20 minutes or so, as Vert trailed behind, audibly seething as her girlfriend talked shit about her choice in outfit. We had also managed to find a store in the process that sold pumpkin spice beer.
We took this opportunity to continue getting shitfaced, of course.
"I know that feeling. Being head first in the action, taking shots for your team. Better than being a healer. Fuck healers." I stated matter of factly, taking some joy in Vert's continued frustration.
"Eh, medics have their uses." Blanc countered, gesturing with her hand, making the contents of her can shake a bit. "You gotta get healed eventually and health packs can only do so much on a team. In an ideal world you'd just carry your own healing supplies, but then the balance would be tossed out of the window."
"Fine, I guess." The discussion ended as we approached a large dome-like structure, the Planepark. Neptune returned to us ,sweat all down her brow as she took a pudding out of somewhere in her inventory, peeled the top off and slid it in whole.
"Phew. I think I hit a high score with that spree, but I'm pooped. Being a protagonist is hard work." Neptune wiped her brow in an exhausted manner before pointing to the dome. "But here we are, the Planepark. Come on, I need to rest."
Neptune being unusually tired aside, we followed her in, navigating the various hallways until we hit the pride of the park, the arena. A massive, multi level hall with thousands of seats and an area in the middle that would host events.
Strangely, there was someone on that rectangle, a very familiar someone.
"Huh? Is that 5pb.?" I ask nobody in particular as I headed towards the stage. I mean my instincts kicked in screaming at me that this was in fact, an awful idea but this was 5pb. What harm could there be in finding out why she was here?
Clambering up onto the main stage, I saw the idol tinkering with an amp, not really aware of what was going on around her. Figuring that I'd probably freak her out if I said hi from behind, I walked around into her field of vision, where she was fiddling with several dials. I gave her a minute to notice me, which she eventually did.
"O-oh! Hey there… Sir?" Right, she didn't know my name.
"Koei Tech, but stick to Koei." I introduce myself, putting out a hand for her to shake. While she hesitated at first, she did eventually shake it herself.
"5pb., but you know that already. Well, that's my stage persona. My real name is Helena!" She told me a care in the world.
The others had caught up to our conversation at this point and 5pb. had frozen up a bit at this point. "W-Wow… That's a lot of friends you have." She muttered nervously. Aww, she's an introvert! Just like me!
I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly as I turned to the group of misfits and freaks. And IF. "Yeah, I have friends in high places. You know, the 4 CPUs, the CPU Candidate of Planeptune and my kinda sorta girlfriend, IF."
"Hey." IF waved unenthusiastically.
5pb. wiped her brow. "I'm in good hands, then. You see, I'm kinda stuck here."
Huh? "Go on, I'm pretty sure Raging Blade Tornado over there," I pointed to Neptune, scarfing down another pudding. "Wiped out every undead within a 3 mile radius."
5pb. blinked. "Z-Zombies!? This is just like that Calling Duty game Cave plays!" She was shaking at this point. "I only came here to make sure the equipment for tomorrow's concert was fine, along with making sure nobody tried to loot anything, but you're telling me the apocalypse is here?!"
"Nah." Neptune dismissively rolled her hand. "Pretty sure this is a one chapter deal. Could you imagine if this turned into a zombie story halfway through? The readership would riot."
I ignored Neptune as I usually did when she started talking about "chapters" and "readership", this wasn't a fanfiction, dammit! "Ignore her. She's an idiot."
"Seconded." IF raised her hand.
"Thirded." Blanc followed suit.
"Fourthed!" Nepgear raised her hand enthusiastically.
"Jeez, fuck you guys too." Neptune crossed her arms and uncharacteristically dropped an f-bomb. Tonight is a night full of firsts.
ROAAAAAAR
"Huh, someone skip out on the buffet back in the Basilicom?" I ask nobody in particular, as my question would be answered by a large thing crashing through the roof of the dome, landing near the stage, obscured by dust.
"Guess not." I pulled out my dagger and gun, ready to fight as everyone else followed suit. The dust cleared and…
What the zombified fucking hell.
It was a dragon, but the flesh had rotted off on several parts of the body, exposing it's innards and bones, but it was still a goddamn dragon. On top of this, I noticed that one of its eyes was missing. Namely the one I carved out the last time I fought a dragon.
"Oh good." I deadpanned. "The dragon that almost fucking killed me, forced me to push myself past my limits and suffer from mana burnout is back from the dead for vengeance. This is fantastic."
"Ahem." IF's voice alerted me to the group of costumed deities and herself standing just behind me, ready to fight. "We're stood right here and ready to send this thing right back to hell, ya know."
I chugged the rest of my pumpkin spice, throwing it at the dracolich, nailing it in the chest. It did not appreciate that as it took in a deep breath before releasing dark flames that scorched the edge of the stage.
"You know, my mother always told me that if you ever fight a dracolich, you fight it with the Dragon Force." 5pb. stated almost worryingly calmly, reaching into her pocket before pulling out a pick. Namely, a pick made from a dragon's scale as she picked up her guitar and tuned it.
A moment of awkward waiting later, she raised her pick filled hand to the sky. "For those about to rock, I SALUTE YOU!"
Lightning cracked in the sky before striking the pick, causing it to glow intensely before 5pb. struck the guitar with the pick. Ethereal dragon heads flew out of the guitar right at the dracolich, knocking it backwards as she gained the smuggest grin I've ever seen.
And that's when she started playing power metal.
(Current Music: Troopers Of The Stars - Dragonforce)
(A/N: Unfortunately due to Fanfiction dot Net's policy on posting song lyrics, The author cannot have the musical accompaniment he had planned for the finale of this chapter. Instead, please do imagine 5pb. belting out the lyrics while listening to the song yourself. The author apologises for this inconvenience. The fucking hack. - Neptune)
As she started to play something that should realistically break her fingers, I felt empowered by the metal shredding. That or it could be the pumpkin spice kicking in.
As it recovered, Nepgear, Blanc and Vert took this time to take off into the air for their assault, as a barrage of missiles and plasma rained down onto the hulking beast. Despite how it annihilated zombies earlier, the dracolich seemed entirely unaffected, or at least not flinching.
I uselessly fired a few potshots at the goliath, hope it'd deal some damage. Hope is a strong word here, because 9mm bullets don't really hurt a fucking zombie dragon.
"Man I am feeling inadequate tonight…" I muttered as IF started pulling out baseballs and attempting to nail at least one into it's undamaged eye for all that would help.
Neptune and Noire just sat on the sidelines, not really doing anything of use, kind of ruining the mood that 5pb. had set up for us. Turning to them with a "What the fuck are you doing" expression, Neptune shrugged. "What, you expect me to take a dragon claw to the face? Unlike you, I actually have common sense."
I flipped her off as I looked at Noire. "Well, I think I can deal some damage with this claymore…" She took a large running lead towards the left shoulder of the dragon, using the moment from her jump to plunge the blade into some of the dragon's remaining flesh, causing it to roar in pain. Thankfully it had no real blood left, otherwise she would be drenched in it by now. The dracolich did not take kindly to the blade, so attempted to pick off the pain that was being caused to it. A few missiles and plasma shots caused it to instead focus on that source of pain, lazily swinging its fleshless claw at the flies, causing them to separate.
"Y'know Koei, it'd be nice if you tried to do something!" Noire yelled at me to get off my ass and stop observing random things. I shrugged and had Arsene try to cast a curse ball at it. It bounced off harmlessly.
It appears that my skill set is not very useful for attacking the undead. My apologies.
Thanks Arsene. Least I have this shank. Hopping off the stage, I jogged over to the distracted dragon and aimed for a fleshy part of it's leg. Not being an expert on dragon biology, I picked a random muscle, prayed to Ifrit and shoved that motherfucker in hard.
More roars of pain that could barely be heard over the power metal indicated that it worked. Unfortunately, that dagger was now deep inside a dragon's leg with only the handle being visible. I gave it a few tugs, but it seemed to be stuck fast. Guess I didn't need it anyway.
I clambered back onto the stage, Neptune sizing up the dragon like a cameraman looks at a landscape, her tongue was even lazily sticking out.
The dragon was clearly sick of our shit, as I turned around it was breathing even deeper than last time and preparing for a fire blest that would surely kill us all. IF rather ingeniously attempted to jam a bomb into it's inhaling mouth, but the angle wasn't quite right and it bounced off its chin and exploded on the floor, singing it's bony claw and blowing a few toes off, but not doing much aside from that.
As 5pb. Hit a long, lyricless stretch of the song, she started to speak up. "You wanna burn us alive, eh? THEN BRING IT THE FUCK ON YOU OVERGROWN LIZARD FA-"
Her last word was cut off as the dragon unleashed it's attack, spewing black flames onto us… Or it would if she had not perfectly timed her guitar solo, causing an energy shield to appear around the arena, keeping us safe from the dragon's onslaught.
"THAT'S RIGHT YOU ZOMBIEFIED FUCKER! HEY, YOU GUYS! FINISH IT OFF WHILE I DO THE FINAL CHORUS!" She yelled, preparing her vocal chords for said final verse.
I'll admit, it was pretty fucking metal. Neptune finally ran up against the edge of the arena, pointing her blade at the flame spewer. "You heard the cussing idol! Get behind me, this might get messy!"
Putting the Monado to her side, it started to glow as usual, but instead of expanding, it kept getting brighter and brighter, the blade sparking dangerously as she charged.
"You wanna threaten MY nation? MY friends? MY PUDDING? Not on this CPU's watch! NEPTUNE BREAK!"
Time seemed to slow as Neptune leapt into the air, finally unleashing the Monado's laser blade, it easily being several times larger than the blade or even Neptune herself before slamming into the dragon with a mighty crash, it coinciding with the end of the song, the last note coming out right as the blade sliced through the dragon as the whole world went white.
Aw fuck, my head. God, what happened last night? Noticing that I was in fact, on the floor and not in a bed, I slowly rose, much to my head's chagrin
The first thing I notice, aside from the fact it was daylight outside is that there was pumpkin spice beer cans. Everywhere. If I had to take a rough estimate, there were at least 30 cans scattered about and that was a conservitive estimate.
Getting up, I tried to disturb as few cans as possible as I wandered over to the side to make a cup of tea. IF was passed out, face down on the sofa, with Neptune being on the beanbag dogoo chair. Nepgear was thankfully not in a compromising position, face down on the floor meaning her panties were covered… For once.
Well, that made four of us. What happened to Noire? Feeling the overwhelming urge to head to the bathroom, I did so and- OH GOD
Quickly shutting the door, I was thankful that Noire still had her panties on despite being face first in the toilet. I can hold it in, I guess.
Heading back to the kettle, I poured myself a cup of normal regular tea, opting to ignore the pumpkin spice flavour. I could still taste that pumpkin from last night and I needed to get it out of my system.
Heading over to the nearby table and clearing off a few cans of pumpkin spice beer, I put my cup down and booted up my UI Gloves after taking off my costume gloves. Yup, I was still in that thief costume from last night, it seemed.
Looking at the articles, it talked about a 5pb. Concert being today (Which hurt a bit to think about, for some reason), boring politcal bullshit (The world's at peace so now people are arguing about which CPU they'd bang? Degenerates.) and…
Oh what the fuck.
Pumpkin Spice provides a Trick over Treat as bad batch is shipped.
The traditional autumn tradition of Leanbox Brew having their special limited run of Pumpkin Spice Brew has been delayed due to news of a spiked batch breaking.
"Uh yeah…" A local brewer said, suspected to be the guy behind the deed. "I had some Green Pasture and was going to do some Super Mushrooms my dealer in Lowee gave me, but I ended up dropping the shrooms into the mixer. I couldn't just throw away that batch, I'd get fired! So I hoped it wasn't strong enough to affect the batch adversely…"
He was fired immediately after this interview. While the current location of the batch is unknown, it is reported to have been pre-purchased already. When we contacted the seller, one Julianne Stingray, she had this to say:
"Huh? Oh that batch of Leanbox Pumpkin Brew? Yeah I imported it from Leanbox as a favour to a regular of mine. She wanted to surprise her boyfriend with it or something. I didn't know it was spiked, I'm just the middlewoman… So you're gonna buy something or what?"
She declined to reveal who exactly bought this batch, but it seems as this is the only one affected. Side effects of Super Mushrooms tend to be high intensity hallucinations and are not recommended to be consumed with alcohol.
Though this point it is probably a bit late to inform people of this. Oh well, blame the bastards at the Gamindustri News Network, they decided to hold this up until now because that's when their contract expired. Could have broken this days ago but nooo, gotta pander to the advertisers. I'm so fucking done with this shit. I'll set up my own paper.
- Aya Shameimaru
Well, thanks for nothing, Aya. Hearing murmuring from besides me, IF got up, still looking like a middle schooler.
"God, what the hell happened last night? AND WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PUMPKIN SPICE BEER HOLY SHIT."
I walked over to the sofa and sat next to my darling IF. "So uh… You didn't happen to get that batch of pumpkin spice from Celestia, did you?"
IF rubbed her head. "It was meant to be a secret, but yeah. How did you know?"
"It was drugged with Super Mushrooms and I think we went on a drug trip last night." I explain simply.
IF put a hand to her chin. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Neptune being competent sounds like something that'd only come from a drug trip."
"Ah, so I see at least two of you are awake." Histoire floated over to us, rubbing her temples in a frustrated manner. "You all realise that you didn't even make it to the elevator before you all started muttering things, right? You spent half the evening wandering around, saying things like "zombies" and whatnot. It was very frustrating and embarrassing when Blanc and Vert came."
Huh right, they were in this drug trip last night. "Did they happen to drink any of the pumpkin spice?"
"Thankfully, they didn't do anything so stupid. I explained the situation and they decided to head to Celestia instead. I cannot express how disappointe-"
"Hey!" I cut her off. "I had no idea that the pumpkin spice was drugged, alright? Don't blame me or IF for having a good time last night, because I won't stand for it!"
I was stood up at this point, but Histoire remained at the same height. She blinked. "Super… Mushrooms…"
She processed for a moment, before bowing. "Ah, that explains the phone call I received from Vert earlier. It didn't make sense at the time, but that and the news report confirms that it was in fact, not your fault. My apologies."
I crossed my arms. "Goddamn right, I want to be responsible for my own fuck ups. Now do we have any of that Super Mushroom drugged Pumpkin Spice left? I want to go on another trip."
IF punched me in the leg. "No. You're barred. As soon as the others wake up, we're changing out of these costumes and cleaning up this mess."
I sigh. "Yes Iffy."
She stood up and gave me a hug. "Happy Halloween, Koei."
"Happy Super Mushroom Trip Day to you too, Iffy." I smiled before hugging her back.
A/N: Well that was a trip. Rather literally.
I've honestly had a ton of fun writing this absolute trainwreck of a chapter, being able to write a singular, unconnected narrative has really relit the spark of creativity inside me and I hope to make more chapters like this in the future.
After all, people want KoeIffy, I want KoeIffy and this is the purest form of KoeIffy shenanigans I can get up to without hurting the narrative.
Before I go, here's everyone's costumes:
Koei - Joker (Persona 5)
(Side note: Huh, a self-insert who uses a short blade and guns? Nahh, must be a coincidence. (I just really wanted to use Persona 5 music.))
IF - Fuka Kazamatsuri (Disgaea 4)
(Side note: I wanted this in particular because as Neptune pointed out, it's a pretty meta joke. Both Fuka and IF share the same English VA, Kate HIggins! (Also she formerly voiced Tails.)
Neptune - Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles)
(Side note: Mostly did this because Shulk's pink skin in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate looks kinda like Neptune, so I wanted to do it the other way around. Also Xenoblade memes.)
Nepgear - Cicini (Rabi-Ribi)
(Side note: Mostly did this because they're both cute scientist types and I wanted to captialise on the brick joke of Cicini randomly cameoing. She's fine by the way! Bricks to the head are perfectly normal! Also I wanted to reference the Halloween event that inspired this cameo in the first place.)
Noire - Tohka (Date-A-Live)
(Side note: Do I have to explain this one? Neptunia and DAL have the same character designer and I referenced this way earlier in the story. Come on, you think I wouldn't let Noire run around in Tohka cosplay?)
Blanc - Pharah (Overwatch)
(Side note: As Blanc made very clear, I wanted her to be Reinhardt instead, but decided on Pharah because PHARMERCY! That and there wasn't enough high explosives.)
Vert - Mercy (Overwatch)
(Side note: Oh come on, I was already shipping VerBlanc, of course I'd make them wear a couple's costume, just mostly for the joke though. Didn't really take advantage of her being you know, a healer.)
USS Helena - 5pb. (Hyperdimension Neptunia)
(Side note:... Wait a fucking second. Honestly, I just wanted her in for the Autobots, Rock Out! Trope. The Dragonforce song and her being far more aggressive while playing is purely headcanon, as was the giant energy shield. As you might expect, I really like 5pb. And wish her moveset was expanded on.)
But yeah, that's it! Happy Halloween! I hope you enjoyed this special chapter as much as I wrote it!