A/N: (Nepstation Theme)

Welcome back to Nepstation, the only show on the Nepwork banned for on-stage drunkenness! I'm your host, Neptune and with me is my guest, world famous singer 5pb.!

*Note from the editor: This episode was recorded prior to the CPUs being captured.

Pleasure to be here Neptune and this time I'm not just here to shill my new album, Deltawing! Though you should buy it, I need another Platinum Record.

Oooh, as shameless as ever! Some foreshadowing as well. Well, would you like to do the mailbag?

Why? They're not my fans.

Fiiiine.

Ryan4ever2016: It's not a self-insert power fantasy without the Protag having to step up. Wait, how do I know I'd be captured at this point, wasn't this recorded prior to-

The screen cuts to static for a few seconds. After the feed is restored, 5pb. is alone,

W-Well, that was rather sudden. Guess I'll read out the other review and- shit the bed that's long.

YoshiChain: Yeah, they gave me an advance copy of the novelisation. Total bullshit, fabrications everywhere and it just makes Koei look competent, the worst part of it all. Total isekai trash, I bet it'll sell millions. Anyway, there are alternate Koeis, that means there's alternate mes! Imagine if we all made an idol group!

One thing they got right was how angry he was though, fuck. Don't mess with his girlfriend. Or his booze. Or Planeptune. Or call him fat. Or…

Oh, we're out of time for now. Thank you for listening to Nepstation, and shine bright my Dimension Trippers! 5pb. out!

Opening up my UI Gloves, I called the last number that rang me, Nepgear. A few moments later, she picked up, the sound of rushing air filling my ear.

"G-goodness Koei! I'm kinda flying to Planeptune at the moment, could it wait?" Nepgear was flustered, but otherwise fine.

"Change of plans, at least for me. I'm heading off to Leanbox to find Grace. Get to Planeptune and guard Progression with your life. I'll be needing it soon. Koei out." I explained before putting down the phone and quickly heading back to the Basilicom.

Arriving, Kei was already there for me, tapping her foot impatiently. "The other Oracles called me, don't explain a thing." She put a hand up before I could even speak up. "As Oracle, I grant you permission to wield Regality."

I blinked. "I need permission?"

Kei opened up a screen on her own UI Gloves, scrolling down a very long document before stopping randomly. "Not really, but as an Oracle, one of my many, many, many duties is to ensure the safety of any and all holy relics. This includes the Sharicite, the CPUs themselves and Regality, the gauntlet used by the ancient hero to fight off a gigantic, scaleless drake. As you might imagine, something that powerful needs to be guarded."

I stared at her. "I found it in a derelict factory."

Kei shrugged. "The previous "owner" bought it before I was the Oracle. If I had been running things at the time, I would have declined their absurd wish. After they were shut down, I assumed that the gauntlet would still be with them. Alright, hold out your hand."

I complied, holding out my right hand, standing for a moment or two before Kei sighed. "Put the Gauntlet on first."

Rolling my eyes, I put the offending armor on as Kei hovered a crystal above it, causing the ruby inside to glow as she murmured some ancient words or other. Seconds passed as the glow gradually faded as Kei put it back in her pocket. "There."

I blinked. "What."

"Your gauntlet is now activated. It should serve as sufficient defense in your fight, being made of an ore from ancient Gamindustri called Omegasidian. May Black Heart be with you and... Good fortune to you." Kei saluted, giving a ghost of a smile as she walked back in, closing the door behind her.

I meanwhile, just inspected my now glove-clad hand. Omegasidian, huh? What a dumb name, but it looked rather kickass, now having gold trim under the joints, running up and down the armor like blood through veins. After admiring it for a few minutes, I put it back in my inventory, not wanting to have it stolen again.

"Thanks, Kei." I said simply, before leaving for the subway. We had our differences, but Lastation was nice enough and Noire was the first CPU I met and how my journey truly started.

God I will never get used to how long the subway to Leanbox is. Thankfully it seems the news outlets haven't learned of the bad news yet, so I had some time before the public started panicking. That would be most inconvenient.

Walking out to the subway, I noticed someone who didn't quite match the Leanbox aesthetic holding up a sign saying "Koei Tech." above their head. Sighing, I walked over to her.

Looking up and down at 5pb., she was rather nervous, but still tried to smile. "K-Koei, was it?"

Nodding, I took the sign from her. "Kinda weird for the celebrity to be meeting me, but you know." I casually conversed, trying to lighten the awkward mood.

She rubbed her head. "Yeah, but I did owe you one from what happened the last time I was here. That and Cave is busy trying to find some escaped convict or other and the Oracle has locked herself in Vert's room, vowing to protect her hentai, whatever that means."

I visibly wheezed, trying not to laugh. "Ah, I know this should be a serious situation, but that's hilarious."

"It is." She agreed. "Anyway, you're here for Leanbox's Artifact? I used it as a reference on my latest album cover, so I know where it is, roughly."

"Lead the way." I gestured, as she started walking. We got a few weird looks, but nobody approached us. "Still, your latest album?"

She nodded. "The idol crap's great and earns me a ton of money, that much is true. But my real passion lies with British power metal."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "I uh. Excuse me?"

She turned around, tilting her head innocuously. "You know, Britain. That weird-ass continent where all the "kings" are female knights."

Well. It's official. "Oh god, I got drugged by pumpkin spice again, didn't I? Strange, that eggnog did not taste of pumpkin..." I put my head in my hands, groaning all the while.

"Wait, that happened to you too!?" 5pb. removed my hands, staring at me with her magenta eyes. "A few days ago, I had some pumpkin spice beer I imported from Leanbox after a concert. I woke up 12 hours later with no recollection of what happened other than a new idea for a song."

I blinked. "Huh. Guess we had the same drug trip. I'll tell it to you one day. Fun story, it features short skirts and explosions." I gestured again. "Buuut we're running on a bit of a timer here."

She stepped back in horror. "Bollocks!" She said in a distinctly British tone, before clearing her throat. "R-right, we need to get going." She started to power walk out of the station and I followed suit.

As I caught up to her, I could see her furious blush. "So uh... What was that whole thing just a moment ago?"

Still blushing, she avoided my gave. "I-I'm not exactly the famed Leanbox-born idol everyone thinks I am, alright? Off the stage, I sometimes slip into that part of me. Keep it between us, right?"

I nodded. "Koei isn't even my real name. Just something I made up on the day I came here to get my ID."

5pb. giggled. "USS Helena Hood Jr. isn't a great stage name, so I had to settle for something more marketable, like Lyrica! Koei Tech is a cute name, at least!" She complimented.

"Thanks. I'm taken, but thanks." I say before she started flirting any harder.

"It'd never work anyway. Our relationship would be all over the gossip and that'd just be painting a target on you." She put a hand on my shoulder for a moment before realizing what she did and taking it off in embarrassment.

"Right, so the Artifact?" I try to move the topic along.

She clapped her hands together. "RIght! That! Well, Lady Vert told me it was located in the Basilicom for a time for a celebration, but it was moved back to the location it rests in Kinset Range, guarded by a powerful guardian spirit called the Deltawing." She exposed excitedly as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a jewel case. "I said I used it as the basis for my latest album cover!"

She handed me the aforementioned case, which was very beautifully detailed, with 5pb. standing before an enormous green bird-shaped silhouette, a sword in one hand and a gold and green shield on her other.

"Deltawing." I read the album title as I gave her back. "Pretty dumb, but not as dumb as Omegasidian."

She shrugged. "I wanted an Omegasidian pick, but due to it being scarce, any raw Omegasidian left in Gamindustri is under heavy guard. Hell, it's rumoured to be unrefined Sharicite. Course, nobody knows if that's the case and it's illegal to do anything but look at it unless you have express permission and supervision from all four CPUs."

"Dangerous shit." I mutter. "I assume your pick is still something pretty awesome, right?"

She nodded, shaping her right hand into the classic bull-horn shape. "Hell yeah it is! My grandmother gave me a scale said to be from a Prime Dragon and whenever I use it, I feel this power building up inside me. If it wasn't for the fact that it's pretty unstable, I wouldn't need Cave around to defend me."

I put a hand to my chin. "Have you tried investing in a gun?"

She shook her head. "Not very Idol-like if I just pulled out a 357. Magnum and fired a hollow point at someone." After a moment of awkward silence she continued. "I did a lot of research on what sort of gun would be portable enough to hide in my skirt without it looking like I was happy to see my fans, if you catch my drift. I can hold my own now without extra weaponry anyway."

My interest was piqued. "Oh?"

"This was a few months ago, during my last big tour. Lady Green Heart very generously let me tour around the other Nations, as her Shares were the highest anyone had ever seen and she wanted to give the others a fair shake. Ended up with a horde of fans after me and I had to duck into a hole in the wall bar. Owner was the nicest guy and let me hole up there until IF came along to pick me up. Think his name was Lance? Either way I signed a glass for him before I went to go do that show. I'll have to go back at some point and get wasted after a concert."

I smiled. "Sounds like a plan. Any idea where it is?"

She scratched her head, as if trying to dig up the information. "Somewhere in Lastation, but I couldn't tell you where. I think the place was called Haven?"

"Alright. Don't know what that had to do with holding your own, though."

"Well, you gotta give credit where credit's due. The people you inspire tend to do great things and should be thanked whenever possible. I wouldn't be who I was without my fans, for instance! But yeah, don't worry about me, I can use my guitar as a blunt weapon if I have to." Her voice lowered to a murmur. "Getting them replaced is a fucking bitch though…"

"Fair enough." I noticed that we've long since left Leanbox, starting to climb up and around a giant chasm, the green pasture giving way to orange rock and sand as I looked around. "Is this Kinset Range? I don't see any giant bird-like things flying about."

5pb. put her arms to the back of her head. "Well, of course it wouldn't be flying around randomly. People have guns. Wouldn't be much of a guardian spirit if any pleb with a hunting rifle could take it down."

"Fair point." I looked around for the local wildlife as I contemplated my options, before a shadow flew over us, an unholy screech emanating from it as it thudded in front of us, moulting some feathers as it did. "And now I think it's noticed us."

A malicious glint formed in 5pb.'s eye. "You know, it's been a while since I've been able to fight without Cave trying to interrupt me. Love her to pieces, but sometimes a girl just wants to be excessively violent, ya know?"

I took a step away from her as she got her guitar out, wielding it like a blunt object as I pulled Serenity out myself, twirling it as I braced myself for a full on beatdown.

Koei and 5pb.

Vs.

Deltawing

Ready?

FI-

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" A battle cry sounded as an unknown figure dropped in to kick the Deltawing in the face, causing it to fly into a nearby wall with a shriek of pain as it fell to the ground. Making a three point landing as the dust settled, her skintight armor and blonde hair tipped me off as to who it was instantly.

"P-Peashy?" I exclaimed in surprise as I started coughing, the dust entering my mouth. As if on cue, she turned around, causing her... assets to bounce with her movement.

"Oh hey, it's you!" She smiled warmly, stopping short of giving me a big tiddy onee-chan hug which was good for my lungs.

5pb. understandably looked confused. "I uh... Who?"

"We gotta go, Kopey! Ploot's holdin' them off the best she can!" She exclaimed, motioning to her back. "Hop on!"

I blinked. "No? What happened, anyway? Let me call Nepg-"

CANNOT CONNECT TO LASTATION SERVERS

What? Are the servers are down again? "Kinset Range and the nearby village are famous for not having a Guild due to the Deltawing's protection. Makes sense there wouldn't be a signal here."

A shadow fell over us as the Deltawing got back up, seeming mostly unharmed from the dropkick. Looking down at us, it stared as 5pb. started to strum, turning to me with a "I got this" look.

O Great Protector Deltawing

With the protection you bring

We ask for your assistance

To get us to the Planeptune resistance

May your wings carry us home

To the nation with the Tome

With that final line, 5pb. stopped strumming, looking up at the great guardian with an understanding smile. In response, the Deltawing nodded, flattening its body as 5pb. got on. "Come on, Deltawing can leave Kinset Range for a bit."

I got on without a word, as the avian took off, with Yellow Heart following behind the tailwind. During the downtime, I just had one question. "The fuck?"

5pb. beamed widely as she turned around to face me. "Just a little ancient ditty I learned when I was learning the Bard class. Generally Guardians understand you if you're able to play their theme."

I nodded. "Fucking sweet, but what about Grace?"

5pb. patted the creature's head and whispered something into its ear. With a resounding caw, it sped up towards Planeptune, which was now visible in front of us. "She'll lend you Grace when we land!"

Giving a thumbs up, I prepared for the real fight to begin as we approached the bustling metropolis, or at least that was how it was before we got closer and the scars of battle started to reveal themselves, like blemishes on someone's face.

"Shit. Things are going down." I mutter, the rushing air drowning out my quiet mumblings as we got ever closer, small dots appearing as their figures became more and more clear. It seems that Nepgear and the other Candidates were defending Planeptune as well as they could, as well as...

"YES! SCREAM MORE YOU MISERABLE INSECTS!" Iris Heart's voice called out above the sounds of battle, the anguished screams of the faceless horde serving as an accompaniment to her pleasured moans.

"Don't worry about the sadist. She's on our side. I think." I reassured 5pb. who had that deer in the headlights look before the Deltawing neatly landed on a clear patch of grass near the Basilicom as we got off, Yellow Heart landing nearby. I smiled at the bird and bowed gratefully as a green light shone above it, the Buckler of Graceful Hurricanes landing on the ground.

Picking it up, I inspected the tastefully decorated shield. Green and gold were the main colours , the metal gleaming off of the afternoon light and the green providing a nice contrast as it crossed like DNA around the perimeter of the shield as a large emerald shone in the center. Flipping it over, "Grace" was rather predictably engraved on the back of it, it being a rather simple design with two leather straps to put your arm in, as shields work generally.

Putting my arm through it, I looked up at the Deltawing and saluted. It gave a screech before taking off again, back to Leanbox presumably.

Well, now that I was back in Planeptune-

You have: 1 missed call from: Nepgear.

"Uh, Koei? There's an army of monsters approaching..." Nepgear's worried voice came from the gloves' speakers, not even waiting for me to put a glove to my ear. "They're... Different from what I've fought before. Me and the other Candidates will fight them off the best we can, but your help would be greatly appreciated. Oh goodness! Uni, watch ou-"

The line went dead. With a solemn nod, we ventured forth into Planeptune towards the fight.

The Deltawing could have landed us closer, christ. Took a solid few minutes just to get to the Basilicom, then another few to get to the actual battle, where the untransformed Candidates were struggling to hold off a horde of strange creatures with dark pink-ish auras that did not look like anything I'd seen in Gamindustri before. Demonic looking unicorns, bipedal turtles, giant robots-

Well, I've fought those before. Just not ones that big. A whip-sword wrapping around one of the robot's arms before tearing it off, followed up by a kick to the back of the head to knock it over, causing it to explode as it hit the ground. Maniacal laughter erupted from the exploding corpse as Iris Heart found her next victim.

"I am 60% sure that she's on our side." I tried to reassure everyone here, but that was a pretty big failure. "Just try not to get in her way?"

Murmurs of agreement came from the assembled group as I pulled out Serenity and started swinging at the other side, decapitating a turtle in the process as I kicked their soon to be data body into the crowd to hold them off. Realizing that this was a war of attrition and not necessarily one of high firepower, I fell back, freezing a few enemies as I retreated to Uni, who was on one knee, going from target to target, headshotting each one in succession with nary a word as more yelling came from the enemy crowd.

"Only Peashy would be this excited about imminent violence." I sigh as the dual-clawing CPU dived into the crowd, tearing apart monsters with ease as I looked at 5pb., connecting an audio jack to her guitar, the other end of which extended way into the Basilicom. Whatever she was planning, it was going to be big.

"Ah Koei, there you are!" Nepgear ran up to me, relieved to see me but clearly dishevelled. "I've been organizing the citizens ever since the alert went out and Histoire got some backup from Ultradimension. I'm no leader, though. If only Neptune was here..."

I put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle rub. "It's alright, it's rough on us all. If you want, I'll take over getting everyone to safety. You help out the other Candidates and keep me posted if anything happens."

She shook her head. "I've looked up and down Planeptune, it seems everyone's safe for now in Celestia. Go see Histoire, she was asking for you."

With a curt nod, I headed off to the Basilicom to see the Oracle.

Going up the elevator, Histoire was waiting for me, herself dishevelled and I even saw her pages frayed a little. "K-Koei!" She rushed over to me. "It's awful, the CPUs are gone, monsters are swarming everywhere and my habit of stating things in threes has gone on the f-f-fritz!" Histoire visibly sparked for a moment as she tilted a little bit. Needless to say she's a little frazzled.

"Right. So what's the plan?" I crossed my arms, knowing that whoever was behind this wanted Planeptune destroyed.

"There... There is no plan." She admitted. "Planeptune is in a crisis beyond my wisdom. Without Neptune-"

"What about Neptune? Isn't half of your time spent trying to get her to do something?"

Histoire rubbed her temples. "Right. But in a case such as this, she would at least take her duties seriously. But without her here..."

"We have NepG." I reasoned.

Histoire shook her head. "Koei, the CPU Candidates aren't ready for this sort of responsibility. Neither are you, if I must be honest."

I slammed my hands on the table. "We're not ready? Histoire, we don't have a frigging choice at this point! The enemy is at our gate! We either fight or we die!"

Histoire sighed. "Koei... Alright. I'll trust you with leading the defense of Planeptune. I was never one for military strategy regardless. Mina on the other hand... Beneath those glasses lies the reincarnation of Sun Tzu."

I shuddered. Maybe it was for the best I never saw her in person. "Right, before I go, I got some intel on someone called... Uzume Tennoboushi?"

Histoire froze. Completely. Her eyes glazed over as her body didn't move a muscle. "U... Uzume?" She fainted dead on the spot, her book falling on the ground with her.

"Histoire!" I yelled, scooping her book up with her and taking her to a nearby bedroom. Thankfully her bed was there and I tucked her in with her tome. Seems that name triggered something in her and overloaded her memory.

"It's alright Histoire." I stroked her head gently before getting back up to rejoin the fight. "Planeptune will be safe in my hands. I swear my life on it." Slinging Serenity over my shoulder, I walked out of the bedroom and back into the elevator, resolve restored as it slid down the shaft. Down at the bottom floor of the Basilicom, I looked for the most heavily guarded room and headed towards it, with the guards understandably blocking it off with spears.

"Halt. Only Lady Purple Heart and authorized personnel may enter." He stated simply.

I stared him in the face. "Lady Purple Heart is currently kidnapped and I'm going to pull rank."

Flipping their spears to point at me, they advanced. "Pulling rank is strictly forbidden per Planeptune law, citizen."

Pulling out my Staff ID, I showed it to the guards. "Histoire is currently unconscious, Nepgear is currently fighting for her life just outside and Neptune is as said, kidnapped. As I stated, I am pulling rank and getting in my way will result in some harsh words to the big lady up top."

Standing still for a moment, they put their spears back. "Very well. You may access the Pudding Room."

Wait. "So this isn't the room where Planeptune's Artifact lies?" I point in there. "You'd think an ancient powerful artifact would have security like you guys!"

The guards started laughing hysterically. "Of course! That's the point! If some thief wastes their time and actually managed to get past us, all they'd find is Purple Heart's pudding supply! She might be upset for a few hours, but better that than something else, right?"

I crossed my arms. "She asked you to do this, didn't she?"

The guard sighed. "Yeah... You'd think working for the Basilicom would be great and all, but all you do all day is stand around and look menacing. Should have gone into paperwork or something... At least Purple Heart herself is nice enough to work for?"

I nod. "Right, but the Artifact?"

The guards pointed to a different room. "Right there. Don't worry, she told us to let you take it just in case of something like this. Girl might be dense but she knows how to plan for everything..."

"Thanks" I say before heading to the appropriate room. "Much appreciated."

It was as you expect for a room containing an Artifact. All fancy like with several pictures of famous Planeptune heroes around. Neptune, Nepgear and Histoire were all there at least, with plaques etched underneath them, but as I walked through, I saw something off. A door handle, barely visible in the dim lighting of the purple room. Still, I had a ring to get. Walking up to the podium that held Progression, it was resting on a royal purple pillow, shock of all shocks, surrounded by glass to stop any pleb from taking it. I wasn't just any pleb, however as I looked around for some way to unlock it.

A hand tapped me on the shoulder as the guard from before used his key to unlock the case, grabbing the ring and handing me it. "On behalf of Our Lord and Saviour Lady Purple Heart, I pray for your safety, as for those you fight for. Glory to Planeptune, Land of Purple Progress."

"Glory to Planeptune, Land of Purple Progress." I saluted, taking the ring and cementing my status. While my journey started in Lowee, I feel that as Planeptune is my home, it was about time to fight for it.

The guard left, leaving me with Progression in my gloved palm. It was finally mine, after all the time I had spent in Planeptune. Hell, even after fighting Neptune herself while she had the ring. Closing my hand, I steeled my resolve with a sad smile.

Neptune. Noire. Vert. Blanc... Iffy. I'll save you all, or I'll die trying. But still, that door... Walking towards it, I felt the handle's cold metal on my hand as I gave it a testing jiggle. Didn't seem locked, so...

Pulling down, the door opened outwards to reveal a staircase to the basement, barely lit by the small lamps inside. Closing it behind me to avoid suspicion, I took the stairs down, hearing the creak of wood beneath my feet as I descended the staircase to the room below.

Finally down the stairs, I looked around at the various computers around me, filled with scrolling text, too fast to read unfortunately. Stepping into the room itself cautiously, I saw more monitors, each with its own set of incomprehensible text. Eventually I found one with text, I could read. Walking up to it, I examined it.

Cryostasis status: Stable

Lifesign status: Normal

Mental status: Unstable. Outside interference advised.

Cryostasis? The hell? Noticing a capsule with frosted over glass, I approached it carefully, wiping off the frost with my palm, finding a person inside. She looked about the same age as Nepgear, maybe slightly younger, with navy-blue hair descending down in twin pigtails. She wore a casual shirt that was unbuttoned, covering it with a tie with a strange square spiral on the bottom of it. Her arms were covered with sleeves, with fingerless gloves similar to my own on her hands and a strange device on her left wrist.

Unable to see any more due to the lack of glass, I stepped back to look around a little more. It was tricky due to the dimness of the compact room, but I found a dusty picture frame discarded on the floor. Picking it up and shaking it off, it was the same girl with Histoire with a plaque that confirmed what I had been thinking ever since I got the news that Planeptune was under siege:

Uzume Tennoboushi, CPU of Planeptune welcoming new Oracle Histoire to the Basilicom

She was a CPU. But why was she frozen and alive? Hell, why was her name wiped from the history books?

A tremor from above indicated that I'd spent more than enough time dilly-dallying. I'm sure I'd find out the reason behind it all soon. Rushing back up the stairs, I shut the door behind me and got back out of the Basilicom to rejoin the fight.

Rushing back out of the Basilicom, everyone present turned to me nearly busting down the front doors of the Basilicom with shocked expressions. Suppose I overreacted a tad, then. Rom and Compa were helping heal up anyone who looked hurt, Compa even being in a typical pink nurse outfit while doing so. Cute touch.

Still, what were those tremors?

"Alright, slowly… slowly this time." 5pb. was motioning for Uni and Nepgear, who were now transformed lowering a giant speaker to the ground. And I mean this thing was huge. The biggest speaker I ever saw was a stand up speaker I had at home that went up to my shoulders. This was easily the size of a room. And there was a second one a few meters away, though the ground was cracked around it. Guess that's where the tremor came from and I'm lucky it didn't go straight through to the basement.

"The fuck is this?" I motioned to the giant amplifiers as the candidates safely let go of the speaker, it solid on the ground.

"I think it's a speaker, Koei." Nepgear answered my rhetorical question, a crime punishable by death. "5pb.'s going to use her music to empower us in the upcoming battle! Isn't that great?"

I looked at 5pb., who had a malicious grin on her face as she tuned her guitar, before pulling out a pair of fingerless driving gloves. Something tells me she won't be playing Dimension Tripper! tonight.

"Well, noise complaints aside, it's a pretty good idea." I nod, knowing that even if I disagreed it'd be too much of a pain to move back. "Where'd you get these, anyway?"

Nepgear waved her hand in a dismissive manner. "Oh, that's just from when I was experimenting with sound-based technology. I was seeing if I could build a weapon that fired sound waves. A safe way to incapacitate people without destroying buildings… Windows aside. Ended up having to drop the project after I blew out the Basilicom's windows with the feedback I generated."

I blinked. "I assume you didn't get to finish that, then."

Nepgear shook her head. "I did. That was just the test fire of it. Put the project on hold until I could find a safe, windowless place to test it."

I grabbed Nepgear's shoulders and stared her in the face. "YOU HAD A FUCKING DUBSTEP CANNON AND NEVER TOLD ME?"

"W-Well, it never really came up. Also it's not a dubstep ca-"

"DON'T RUIN MY DREAMS!" I couldn't turn my volume down even if I wanted to. "Once this is over with, we will finish that project and we will fire dubstep at people!"

Nepgear pushed me away gently, shaking a little bit. "A-Alright. I mean it's ready to go now, bu-"

My eyes widened. "Grab it. Now. I need to get this off my bucket list."

She nodded her head. "If you insist. I have a phone hooked up to it anyway, so music won't be a problem." She ran off into the Basilicom while I patiently waited for one of my dreams to come true.

"Ko-Ko, please don't blow out everyone's ear drums. Tinnitus is a pretty serious thing." Compa scared the bejeezus out of me as she spoke up from behind.

"Y-yeah… I'll keep the volume reasonable." I didn't want to wake up in an ice bath with a missing kidney. I swear, Compa could ask me to murder someone and I'd do it out of fear.

Nepgear quickly returned with a black leather wallet and a… thing slumped over her shoulder. Didn't look like any cannon I'd ever seen, considering it was square and angular, but it had a trigger on it so I guess it was a cannon. Leaning it up against one of the speakers, she handed me the leather rectangle. "Here's what I've been using to test it. It seems the way I designed it that more bassy music makes it work better. Mostly rock on this, though."

Huh, that sounds familiar. Opening up the case, what I saw shocked me to my core. Not the thing itself, it was just a phone after all, but…

"NepG… This is my phone!" I pushed a button on the side and a very familiar anime wallpaper lit up the screen. "It's my fucking phone! Where'd you find this?"

"G-goodness! I found it at the remains of a rift I explored a few days ago, along with a broken pair of earphones. If I knew this was yours…"

I hugged Nepgear in response. "It is more than alright! Now I can contact my family aga- No signal! FUCK!" I punched the speaker the cannon was leaning on, hurting my hand a lot as I did so. "FUCK!"

"Language!" Compa chided from a distance as I flipped through my phone. Yeah, the music was all still here. Weeb trash, some game OST I ripped from the Inter- Bought legally, even a Dragonforce album.

"A song with a lot of bass, eh?" I scrolled down the list of songs. I swore there was a few songs missing, but who would remember their entire collection of songs anyway. "How do I hook this thing up?"

"Bluetooth." Nepgear said simply, walking over to the "cannon" and flipped a switch. "There, should show up on your phone now."

I shot a thumbs as Nepgear returned to my side, curious at my phone. "It's fascinating to me that your world had technology like this." She said to me as I kept looking through my playlist.

"Nepgear, it's a phone. God's sake, I didn't come from the '90s, everyone has a phone now." I snark back. "Hell, doesn't Iffy have like 20 of these?"

"That's different, really. Different service providers for each Nation. She used to complain about her phone bill all the time before the Guild started paying for it… Why is there a unicorn on there?" She pointed to a song cover featuring one Starlight Glimmer, the best pony.

"Unicorns are fucking metal." I stated simply, still scrolling through my phone. Alright, so I had a bit of a phase when I first became a legal adult. "I'm never going to learn if Starlight and Trixie actually get together now, am I?"

Nepgear blinked. "Didn't think you'd watch a little girl's show. You know Neptune will never let you hear the end of it if she finds out. Or IF."

Personally I thought IF would be into My Little Pony. Seems right up her alley. "Alright NepG, hoist me up there. I wanna give a rousing speech to my troops. Also Histoire left me in charge of defense. Slipped my mind."

Nepgear nodded and transformed, lifting me up to one of the speakers before putting me down gently. I cleared my throat, but it was drowned out by the chatter of everyone present. Seriously, this was like a battalion. Between the CPU Candidates, the two Ultradimension CPUs, Compa, 5pb., even Nisa and that slutty knight I saw yesterday were here, so I shouldn't have been surprised by that.

Plan B. Taking a bottle of beer out of my inventory, I took a long drink, before realizing I'd need to be conscious for this, so I threw the bottle at the ground. The shattering glass caught everyone's attention finally as I let the silence linger for a moment.

"Ladies and… Other ladies. If I could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker."

You could hear the crickets from that. "Seems everyone's heard that joke before. Well, whatever." I started to pace around the large amplifier, arms behind my back. "Look, it's not exactly sunshine and rainbows at the moment. The CPUs have been kidnapped. We're under siege from a threat never seen before in Gamindustri and we're the only ones who can stop her. I'll be honest, I shouldn't have been the first choice. Nor the second… Or the third… Or the fou-"

"We get it, you suck!" Uni jeered. "Get on with it!"

"For the record, I don't suck, I blow." I snapped back as I flipped the bird at her and continued despite the laughter from the crowd. "Regardless, Histoire has trusted me with Planeptune's safety. That means that I have to step up to the plate and save Gamindustri myself. Now obviously, this isn't a one-man operation. That's why you're all here. That or the Guild sent out an alert about monsters attacking Planeptune and you just want that sweet, sweet Credit. Doesn't matter, don't answer that, we all have our vices. The point is, we're here for one reason: To fight for Planeptune- no, Gamindustri's future! I may not be of this world, but my home is in Planeptune and I will fight for it! Who's with me?"

Silence. Again. I sighed loudly. "Well, it's too late now anyway." I pointed my blade towards the second wave of monsters. "They're here and I'll have words with the Guild if you decide to leave no. Nepgear, the dubstep cannon."

"It's not a dub-"

"IT'S A FUCKING DUBSTEP CANNON."

Nepgear's turn to sigh now, as she floated up, device in hand. Hoisting it over my right shoulder, my finger found its way to the trigger as I queued up one song in particular.

"It's time to drop the fucking bass." I said simply, before starting to play the song I intended to kick ass with.

(Current Song - Riot - Overkill)

The monologue of a robotic sounding woman reading system specs filled my ears as I narrowed my eyes into a glare and lined up the cannon. If it worked anything like it did in Saints Row 4, it'll act as a sonic-based rocket launcher, firing bass explosions into the crowd, so having it near my allies? Bad idea.

The music picked up as they approached, a guitar or something joining the noises.

"Operation: Overkill." I said mostly to myself, knowing it by heart as one of the few good dubstep songs after hearing it in a video a long time ago. It was kinda nostalgic having my phone back, listening to this song.

As the song carried on, I saw the faces of those who were charging. Probably less than 100 meters from our location, fully intent on storming the Basilicom and possibly releasing Uzume, which wouldn't be good.

A loud roaring indicated that the song was a few seconds off of getting into the meat of things! Let's do this!

"KILL! THEM! ALL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, adrenaline filling my blood as I felt the hype.

Then the bass DROPPED. HARD. The recoil of the first wubs knocked me back as I dug in my heels, determined to keep my shots on target as the sonic blasts did their magic as swathes of monsters got massacred by them. As expected, Nepgear's tech worked perfectly as I rocked out as much as I could without affecting the trajectory of each blast.

What? It is a really good song for dubstep! That and I kinda was living one of my dreams, to be firing a dubstep cannon at a horde of monsters like this, so I was elated to say the least as a large bass drop released a laser and I swung the cannon, making the laser burn through the creatures like a hot knife through butter.

As the song stabilized from the "chorus" to the "bridge" of the second "verse" (I mean it's a dubstep song, none of these terms really apply, but it's for narrative purposes so roll with it.) Nepgear flew within my view, taking care to avoid the wub blasts. "You uh… Doing alright there, Koei?"

The song resumed blasting before I could say anything, but I gave a curt nod before pointing to her, spotting an enemy flying in behind her. Obviously as I wasn't clear, she just looked on in confusion, so I forced her to move by pointing the cannon at her. Thankfully her reaction speed was faster than mine, as she dodged, the next bass drop nailing the enemy square in the face as I pointed the cannon back to the ground. I only had a minute or so left of the song and I didn't put it on repeat, so I had to take advantage of the final part of the song.

As the bass built up for the grand finale of the song, I felt the gun start to vibrate and heat up itself. In a rather unsurprising turn of events, the gun became too hot to handle as I tossed it into the crowd.

(End Song)

Not a moment later it exploded quite spectacularly as the music died with it. A shame, but I had to get in the fight myself at some point. Jumping off the speaker, I pulled out Serenity and Tranquility as the adrenaline kept flowing through me.

"Uh, Koei? You have an… aura about you?" Nepgear pointed out helpfully as I looked to my feet. Yeah, translucent orange flame had surrounded me. In the hype of achieving one of my dreams…

"Guess I Awakened during that bass cannon rampage. I needed it anyway." I smiled as I saw a third wave of goons approaching, I got a call from… Kei?

"Koei. I have bad news." Kei sounded panicked for once. Shit must be serious. "Noire's returned."

I scratched my head. "How's that bad?"

"She's leading a group of monsters and attacking her own citizens. Something is not right with her. She's approaching the Basilicom and I need backup. I can hold her off but she's a much better sword fighter than I am."

"Alright, I'll send someone to help. Maybe Uni could talk her out of it."

"Doubt it. Kei out." She hung up the phone as I got another call. Aw fuck, I see where this is going.

"K-Koei!" Mina's voice was far more panicked than Kei, unsurprisingly. "Blanc's on a rampage in Lowee! And this time I don't think it's because of bad reviews!"

"I'll send the twins over. If nothing else they can freeze her until we figure out a way to sort this out." I put the phone down as I got a third phone call.

"I'll send Nepgear." I said before putting it down, not even needing an explanation for the current events in Leanbox. "Uni, Rom, Ram, Nepgear."

The four approached me, Nepgear now back in her human form taking a drink of SP Charger. "Good news, your sisters are back. Bad news, they're wrecking havoc. Uni, take Lastation. Rom, Ram, take care of Lowee. Nepgear…"

She shook her head solemnly. "It'll break my heart to see Neptune in such a state. I'll go to Leanbox, it'll be faster than the subway anyway."

I nodded. "Me and the other Makers will take care of Planeptune in your steed." I saluted. "Unified by truth and justice…"

"Future knights we are!" Nepgear cheered as the other Candidates looked at us in confusion. "Despite not having pants, that was a really fun night. Alright, I'll be off." In a flash she was back to Purple Sister and took off towards the south. Rom and Ram did likewise, heading north, leaving only Uni.

"Permission to speak freely, Commander?" She asked.

"Uni, just stick to Koei. I know you're the military type but it'll be less weird that way. You're still technically my superior, after all."

She nodded in understanding. "Understood. Regardless, I think you're insane for trying to take on Neptune while she's like this."

I shrugged. "Someone has to. That and it'll be a tiebreaker round, so I'll be happy to prove myself as the superior fighter."

Uni sighed. "Don't get cocky. Hubris gets people killed. On both sides of the conflict." With that she transformed, finally revealing her CPU form to the world and…

"Did… Did your boobs get smaller?" I pointed out the obvious to which I rightfully got slapped.

"Screw off. Flat is justice anyway, you should know that." She took off in a huff, carrying her giant cannon with her. Yeah she'll be fine, but even if I was worried, I saw a very familiar face approaching.

I turned to the group behind me and gave a curt nod before turning back around and approaching Neptune herself. About a meter apart we both stopped, as did the horde.

"Koei." Neptune's tone more resembled her CPU form, despite being in her usual loli voice. "Today is the day you fall to my blade, as will Planeptune."

"Oh get that stick out of your ass." I crossed my arms as I tilted my head. "I know it's not really you there. Someone's pulling your strings, I can practically see them!"

She shook her head. "Uzume showed me her side and I was turned to the light. Gamindustri will turn against you too one day, Koei. Give up."

I pointed Serenity at her. "Over my dead body."

Neptune pointed her katana at me. "That's my intention, yes."

We stared each other down in silence, mentally preparing myself for this fight.

I made a promise to Histoire. I will fulfill it or die trying.

For the glory of Planeptune, Land of Purple Progress.