Shifting Through Realities

by thehappy

Directly follows chapter chapter 46 from Dragon of the COG. Erza, Mira, Levy and Kagura find themselves stranded in the multiverse and must fight to make their way back home. Will contain gore, swearing and other mature themes. Crossovers with multiple different anime's, games and other realities. Don't like it, don't read it.

22. Borderlands! The Un-pre sequel! Part One

So basically, don't expect too much seriousness with this chapter. If you've played the games, you know how crazy they are! And if things don't appear canonically or in the timeline…who cares! Borderlands…BORDERLANDS!

Also, I'm going to write each of the girls mini story arc separate, there really wont be any back and forth between them once the first plot point advances. OH! And if characters of the game appear away from canonical locations, it really doesn't matter since I'm assuming they move around and all that. Assume Borderlands 2…ish.

Chapter 22: Borderlands! The Un-pre-sequel! (Part One)

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Universe CLP-TRP-005, Pandora, Windshear Waste

Gusts of snow danced across the frozen ground, blowing harshly through abandoned and dilapidated structures of the old settlement. Many were caved in, the inhabitants frozen and half buried by the encroaching ice.

Distant cries of hostile wildlife howled on the wind, but for all intents and purposes, nothing moved.

Except for a half frozen Claptrap, his wheel and lower body frozen to the ground.

"Oh god! Is this how the mighty Claptrap dies! In a frozen wasteland! I regret everything! AH! I forgot to take my burrito out of the microwave! Such a cruel life!" the robot wailed, his arms flailing to free himself.

A dusting of dancing blue and yellow particles appeared before the trapped robot, growing thicker by the second before four humans and a tiny, green skinned creature flashed into existence. Fully engulfed in their armor and sealed helmets, vision slits of multiple colors stared out into the wasteland. The shortest one looked his way slowly, her weapon's bayonet dripping with yellow fluid.

"OH MY GOD! ROBOT CANNIBALS!"

The short one crouched down, getting almost eye level with claptrap…then began to laugh a harsh, mad cackle. Turning on the group, the unseen woman pointed.

"I told you! Borderlands would be the next universe after that Central City bullshit!"

"What are you talking about! That was at least thirty different universes ago! Or have you forgotten we were just fighting genocidal banana people on the planet, Peel?" the one with crimson vision slits reminded, her armor splattered with chunks of yellow.

"WHO CARES!?" Levy shot back with glee while raising her data readout. "Oh yeah, these coordinates practically spell Claptrap. And we get to stay for four whole days with some change!"

The watermelon spoke, icicles already forming around his eyes. "IF we are to survive, we must find shelter and dancing…possibly people to murder. This environment is very harsh" Pointing, the murderous melon indicated the stuck robot.

"Your right. He may lead us to shelter" Scarlet agreed, kicking the robot free, it wailed.

"My beautiful face!" landing in an ice drift, Claptrap managed to free himself easily, his lone wheel finding traction.

"Wow, thanks robot cannibals. Unless you plan on eating my sweet, succulent metallic flesh…made of metal. If that's the case, no thank you!"

"Just lead us to shelter you damn robot" One of the other helmeted women demanded while a fresh gust of freezing wind blew past the group.

"Right! Follow me random strangers!" Rolling along an icy pathway between collapsed buildings, the robot rolled over a random corpse while humming. The path dipped down a small hillock, the ice a sheen that led to a small cave with icicles dangling down.

A monstrous roar and cascading ice echoed from above, quickly followed by a massive impact. The creature that landed was covered in white/bluish fur, its forward arms massive like tree trunks. Four more limbs supported the beast, the second set along its flanks flexing before grabbing a boulder to heft above its head. The face and head was long, a row of teeth snarling before rearing back on its hind legs.

"Oh shit! A Bullymong! And it has a full health bar!" Levy cried out as the beast threw the boulder. Rolling and half skidding on the ice, the woman went prone before laying down heavy fire.

"YOU SHOULDN'T KNOW THAT YET! AHHH! HELP ME!" Claptrap screeched out, the beast grabbing the robot and flinging him toward Erza. Scarlet backhanded the yellow boxed creature, slapping it into the swirling snow. Bullets ripped across the hillock of ice and snow, smashing and tearing into the Bullymong's flesh.

"Yeah! Already knocked down half it's health!" Levy shouted out while laying prone, her L.M.G. chattering with thunderous noise.

"What the hell is she talking about!?" Kagura yelled, the woman sidestepping as the monster threw another rock of ice. It broke open harmlessly as Mira put ten rounds into its face, spraying a fresh burst of blood and bone across the frozen hellscape.

Collapsing without fanfare, the beast died with a gasp. Suddenly, a few bundles of money dropped from the monster, flowing toward each woman and disappearing.

Levy grinned behind her helmet, the visual experience points flowing toward her and the others. Glancing at Mira, the scientist noticed the data hovering over her friend. "Hmmm…level nineteen? That seems wrong…eh, at least I got some sweet future money!"

Claptrap spluttered, his voice box mimicking a spitting sound. "Hurry! Before more of them show up to kill you…and throw me into ice again!" Rolling at full speed, the robot entered the cave as the women followed. They eventually had to crouch, almost crawling through a tiny fissure in the wall of ice before entering a domed shaped room with discarded pizza boxes, frozen lamps and televisions, along with a toilet that had seen much better days.

Of course, that didn't answer the question of why nearly thirty dead claptraps were around the domicile, many in strange positions.

Like as a television stand…or a couch made of dead robots.

Rolling over to a low countertop with a microwave, smoke rose from the appliance as Claptrap opened the appliance.

"No…my burrito…DAMN YOU, FATE! Wait…I can't even eat food, I'm a robot"

Erza hit a button on the side of her helmet, the piece of technology regressing into the neck of her armor. Flowing red hair became visible as the other women did the same, the small home providing a bit of shelter from the horrid elements outside. "So, your name is Claptrap, correct?"

Claptrap dropped the charred burrito, rolling over the mess as he spread his arms. "That's right! In fact, we should all introduce ourselves! I'm…"

Word literally appeared above the yellow pained robot, hanging in the middle of the room with yellow colors.

Claptrap! Tiny robot, super annoying!

"What the hell was that?" Kagura asked incredulously.

Kagura Mikazuchi: Future Harem Queen!

"Oh shit! It's the introduction words!" Levy yelled as letters formed above her in a flash, pulsing blue with drips of blood.

Levy McGarden: Crazy like Tiny Tina! Side job…alcoholic!

"Hey, are you planning on ruling the harem!?" Erza shouted at Kagura, the introduction of the gravity mage not lost on her or Mira. Words formed above the other two women, floating with a waving dance.

Erza Scarlet: Strawberry is the name of her bat!

Mirajane Strauss: White hair!

Normalface: Ragemelon!

"How come my introduction was so lame?" Mira asked, her white hair dazzling and pure among the frozen walls.

"Because you're a filthy harlot" Erza answered smugly, her grin infectious.

A withering glare crossed Mira's eyes, but she didn't rise to the bait…this time.

"So, Claptrap? How do we get out of here?"

"That's easy! Follow me to the fast travel system!" Humming once more, the robot rolled down a connecting tunnel, humming to himself before exiting another cave entrance. Rolling up a metallic ramp to an old, derelict spaceship, the robot pointed toward a piece of technology that supported a floating blue orb.

"This will take us all to Sanctuary and my friends. Now…if I remember how to turn it on" Tinkering with an open control panel, the women gathered close.

A spark arced out, a flash of blue and orange that struck all six beings gathered in one fell swoop.

"OH GOD! A PLOT DEVICE!" Claptrap screamed out as everybody disappeared in a flash of light.

Sanctuary. Three blocks from Marcus's gun shop.

Normal Face and Claptrap rematerialized in the dark and dank building, shafts of broken sunlight filtering through a few holes in the roof and walls. Piles of garbage and overflowing refuse bins lined the dirty walls, their stench almost visible.

The murderous watermelon narrowed its eyes, slowly turning as his sensors picked up dozens of potential hostiles.

"Miss Levy is not here. What have you done, robot?"

"I have no idea! That plot device came out of nowhere!"

A man walked out of the shadows, his brown pants and black shirt ripped and faded. His face was hidden behind a mask, a red 'V' shape running down the sides. In his hands was a gruesome looking blade with a saw on it. Leering down, the man shouldered the weapon in a cocky stance. "So…Claptrap has finally returned. You all know what that means right!?"

"Erotic backrubs?"

Bays and hoots of laughter came from others in the shadows, their forms barely seen. Normal face turned to the robot, a strange, glowing exclamation point above his head.

"OH! OH! I have a mission now! You should take it!" the robot waved frantically.

"Very well" Touching the glowing light of the symbol, a screen popped up out of nothingness.

Claptraps Dance Party!

Difficulty: Normal

Reward: MORE DANCING! …and money!

N.F. accepted, the mission, his guard up as the room suddenly filled with strobing lights.

"Alright! Let's get this illegal dance party started! You all know the rules! DANCE!" The DJ shouted from the corner, his station lit up with purple and spilling smoke. Spinning a record, the massive speakers under the station began to throb with sound.

Bass sounds began to drop among thudding music while multicolored lights, causing multiple people to start dancing in a gyrating motion.

"YES! Finally! Now the nightmares can stop!" The psycho screamed as he began to dance. "This is my time to show my leg sorrow!

"Wub wub wub! I forgot about my secret dance warehouse in sanctuary with all these kidnaped college interns! Hurry Normal face and start dancing!"

The melon clenched a fist, his rage filled love growing while his voice went insidiously dark. "Yes…Finally" Pointing his arms upward, the melon and robot began to dance among thudding music and cheering people.

Three days later…

Thudding bass bounced and reverberated against the walls of the warehouse, a constant thud of bone shaking noise. Laser lights and spotlights of multiple colors jinked and jived with the dance music, highlighting a sea of people in the throes of unstoppable dancing.

The floor itself was a changing multitude of colors and blinking lights. A bandit shaking and frothing at the mouth, his mind unable to fathom the epilepsy. Falling to the floor, he writhed in agony as surrounding dancers cheered.

"He danced so hard he got epilepsy!"

"SO COOL!"

Claptrap screamed out, his metal surface decorated with streamers and glitter. "KEEP DANCING!"

A woman cheered, her hips gyrating to the beat as she drank a glowing bottle of blue alcohol from the recently set up bar that was surrounded by throngs of drunks. "If I stop dancing, I'll get sober!"

The DJ shot his arms upright before spinning more records among stabbing lights. "Alright ya'll! You better have those drinks and insane dance moves ready! Because its time for…WATERMELON DISCO BALL!"

A piercing air horn sounded as purple, red, and blue lights pointed to the ceiling. Lowering on a thick rope was Normal face, his surface covered in mirrored plates. Laser beams of all colors hit the mirrors, instantly banking down to wound and maim a few of the dancers. Spinning on the rope, the melon felt the roar of cheers as light beams danced around the warehouse, burning the walls.

"Let's get this dance party into full swing!" the melon roared as he spun with a huge grin and eager eyes.

"WOOOOOOOO!"

"YOU HEARD HIM! TURNI IT UP ALL THE WAY TO THE DEATH!"

The crowd roared, becoming a writhing, screaming sea of dancers under the murderous disco ball.

The last day…

Unc! Unc! Unc! Unc! Unc! Unc! Unc!

Claptrap screamed, his robot voice a panic as the dancing continued non-stop. Several people had died, collapsing from lack of water, food, or disco laser burns. "OH GOD! THE WUBS HAVE GONE OUT OF CONTROL! Normalface! Begin your dubbing!"

"Dub! Dub! Dub! Dub!"

A bandit screamed, clutching his masked face. "My eyes! They've seen too much dancing!"

Another airhorn sounded, shaking dust from the walls as numerous holes appeared from the unending dropping of beats and base. Half the dancers were in a catatonic frenzy, enthralled by the music as smoke poured from the DJ station.

"I've just heard they're sending folks to shut us down for disturbing the peace of Sanctuary! LET'S SHOW THEM THE MEANING OF A DANCE PARTY!"

The music got louder, a vibration that crushed the souls of many.

"Oh god! It's too much!"

"My spine!"

"AHHHH! WUB! WUB! IT'S NOT WORKING!"

Normal face spun, his form still covered with mirrors and glitter as the survivors continued to fling their bodies around in madness. "Don't stop dancing!"

The Highlands

Kagura appeared among a shimmer of light, rematerializing next to a similar piece of technology that had been in that derelict spacecraft. It blinked, then showed the option to travel to Windshear Waste, a floating image of ice and abandoned villages.

"Like we would want to return to that frozen landscape, right Erza?"

There was no response, just the distant cries of unknown wildlife. "Erza?" Turning, Kagura tried to reign in her minimal disappointment.

She was alone, standing next to an abandoned fuel station that hugged the shoulder of a nearby road. A few rusting cars sat nearby, long since picked bare of anything useful. Beyond, the hills were green and healthy looking which felt odd to the woman.

"Just great. Stranded who knows where because of some stupid, annoying robot" Kagura dragged out as gunshots echoed in the distance, along with manic laughter.

A box appeared suddenly in the thin air, showing a buxom woman with full lips, rosy cheeks and a purple top. Obviously beautiful, the make-up really wasn't necessary.

"Hey sugar. My bar's under attack by some nasty bandits. Think you could help a gal out? I'm in Overlook"

The vision box fizzled to static, filling with manic laughter.

"GIMME SOME OF THAT SWEET MOXXI FOR THE PLEASURE PAIN!"

*Gunshots*

"Try not to get killed on your way here, sugar!" The unknown woman grinned sweetly.

"Such sweet pleasure pain along my chest flesh!"

"Bars closed!"

Two more gunshots and screams came from the floating screen before blinking out of existence with a snap.

"Well, she seems to be in a bind. And bandits are always a bad sign" Kagura reasoned. Unslinging her lancer, the female began to walk along the roadway.

Snarling came from the roadside ten minutes later as a pack of dog-like creatures ran toward her, their teeth dripping with drool. One appeared to be covered in lightning, its mouth rapidly opening to spit a bolt of energy.

"What the fuck!" Kagura cried out as she rolled to the left, the shock blast scorching parts of the dirt and cracked road. Taking a knee, she fired a full clip into the mass of beasts, their howls and cries unheard by the thunder of her gun. The electric spewing creature charged, multiple wounds seen as it charged another blast.

"Dammit!" The female cried out, frantically pulling her pistol to shoot the creature. Three bullets flew into its maw, killing it in grunt of death and noise.

Some money spilled out of the monsters, flowing toward Kagura as she moved closer to investigate the corpses. A gun had also dropped nearby, by the appearance a shotgun. Picking it up, a screen of white words and data appeared.

Normal Shotgun

Damage: 6x9

Capacity: One

Level Requirement: Three

Value: $12

"Even I can tell this is a piece of crap" Dropping the weapon, Kagura made sure to reload before walking along the road toward a distant hill covered with buildings.

The roar of an engine and squealing tires, along with insane laughter came from behind Kagura. Spinning rapidly, a dune buggy of sorts came over a small hill, spitting bullets. Kagura dove into the dirt, those deadly rounds kicking up soil around her as the bandits roared.

"Shoot her spleen juice and burn her inside skin! Flavor Hat!" the driver screamed out, his face covered by a blood spattered mask. A gunner laughed uproariously, the turret spinning as streams of rounds pierced the air.

Kagura obviously returned fire, a burst shredding one of the tires. Dipping as rubber tore, the buggy driver yanked hard, causing a cartwheel and his partner to fly out with a yell of joy while metal tore and snapped.

"Finally! I can fly like a turtle!" Landing with a crunch, his neck twisted at an odd angle.

"My balloon! You popped it!" The visibly angry driver yelled out, the man rushing forward with a strange buzzsaw axe that screamed with bloodlust.

Kagura shot him in the torso, bullets shredding his chest with ease before the maniac collapsed a mere few feet from her. Kicking the corpse a few moments later, Kagura shook her head.

"These guys make Levy look down right normal in comparison" Taking another look at that hilltop town, Kagura sighed at how annoying this would be. But then… "That woman does need my help. I can image what these beasts would do to her"

Picking up the pace, Kagura moved into a light sprint as the pops of gunshots continued.

It didn't take long for her to reach the first outlying buildings, which thankfully provided the cover needed. Moving closer between the structures, bodies had fallen all over the ground and central path in grotesque and blood spattered horror. The bandits were near the top of the hill, some of them hooting and laughing outside the bar.

Kagura inched closer, hugging the corner of a vending machine near a house. Taking a quick peek around the corner, she watched as the obvious leader strode toward the bar, the masked man carrying a bundle of dynamite…that happened to be lit already.

"I am Boom-stick! I am go—"

He exploded into a paste of red mist and particles, covering the remaining bandits in a sheen of gore. Many laughed, finding the death humorous as his entrails scattered the ground.

"Was he a complete idiot!?"

A second scarred man with a similar mask strode forward, his hands clutching a rifle. Numerous scars and tattoos covered his bare chest among the war paint, covering his hard muscles.

"I am Gun-stick! Booze woman will give us fire water for salting wounds!" The bandit accidentally shot a midget nearby, the infantile screams turning into laughter.

"Hehehe! I'm short and wounded!"

That must've been the que for the rest to open fire on the bar as bullets flew while slicing the air. A few errant laser blasts sizzled and popped, causing increased laughter and madness.

Kagura had seen enough of these jabbering fools. Grabbing a grenade from her belt, she flung it around the corner of the vending machine. Bouncing lightly across the bare dirt and patches of grass stained red with fresh gore, the orb was noticed by one of the midget bandits.

"I found it! I found it!" The tiny human cried out while picking it up and running toward a cluster of bandits. Exploding with a sling of shrapnel, the midget vaporized while half a dozen bandits were blown apart.

"Finally! I lost my arms like the blue cat intended!" a dying male shrieked out, the stumps pumping horrid amounts of blood.

Kagura didn't stop to figure out what that meant as she came out of cover, shooting the nearest bandit in the chest. Howling with madness, a nearby enemy turned, unleashing a torrent of laser blasts that left traces of green in the air. One of those blasts burned across Kagura's forearm, singing armor like acid as the surface material popped and hissed. Grunting at the blow, Kagura quickly shifted aim toward the one that shot her, a flurry of rounds killing him.

"I'm…the chili bowl…" the man gasped out as Gun Stick turned, shooting in every direction and killing three more bandits.

"I give the shoot shoot to raven bird…GIRL!" The leader screamed out in defiance, his fingers constantly squeezing the trigger and killing the last two of his followers.

Kagura shot him in the face without remorse, his head blowing apart in a spray. Body collapsing, piles of free money flew toward Kagura.

"Why does it keep doing that? Can I at least find out how much I have?"

A small bar with a dollar sign jumped into existence, showing $5013 before blinking away. Pinching her nose, Kagura was already really starting to hate this place.

A blast of buckshot came from the nearby bar, a bandit flying through the open doorway with a bloody chest. Grunting as a woman came out, she shot him again in the face, leaving nothing but a gore streaked smear across the boardwalk.

"Hey sugar. Looks like you made it just in time" The woman smiled, her beauty and curves very desirable.

Mad Moxxi: Looks can Kill!

"Not a problem, but half these bandits ended up killing each other with sheer stupidity"

"They're bandits, sweetie. That's just how they are. Now why don't you step inside? A fellow citizen of Pandora can always use one of my drinks" Smiling a smile that would melt men, the bar owner swayed her hips in a turn as Kagura followed.

Stepping inside, Kagura found the bar would've actually been pretty decent…if not for the bullet holes, blood stains and a dozen bandit corpses across the floor, laying on booth tables or literally across the bar.

"Sorry about the mess. But when their leader in Slabtown heard about some…pictures I kept safe in the bar, he sent some of his men to get them" Moxxi explained while shoving a dead bandit off her bar.

"They launched a raid just for some pictures?"

Smiling at Kagura, Moxxi leaned forward, showing off cleavage. "Of course. Images of a woman of my caliber is worth more than most of these bandits will see in a lifetime" Sighing as she supported her chin with a gloved hand, Moxxi traced her finger along the rim of a glass. "Sadly, they breached my safe and took them during the commotion. Would you help me out and get them back? I'll make sure your reward is worth it…" the female said in a voice dripping with seduction. A yellow exclamation point appeared suddenly, floating simply as Kagura stared for a moment.

"Relax. This is not the strangest thing you've seen" Hitting the symbol, it flashed into a larger screen.

Moxxi's mission of Seduction!

Difficulty: Hard

Reward: $5000

"Thanks sugar. Now here, put on this body shield. It's an old melee spike shield, but running around with no protection can be deadly" Sliding a piece of technology that glowed a soft green, Kagura found it easy to attach to her body armor. Powering up, it surrounded her in a cone of visible energy for a moment, then faded. Tapping her wrist lightly, the energy field rippled, indicating that it worked.

"So where is this Slabtown?" Kagura asked the bar owner who poured herself a drink.

"Across the gorge in Thousand Cuts. I'd suggest taking a vehicle, but the Catch a Ride is on the fritz again because of those annoying Skags. Pests just keep eating the power cables. Looks like you'll have to walk, sugar" Moxxi winked while taking a soft sip of her drink, her red full lips savoring the taste.

It was clearly the end of the conversation.

Turning and leaving the blood soaked bar, Kagura scratched her head. "Well, getting some photos back should be pretty easy. How hard can some insane bandits be?"

One hour later.

Crossing the bridge spanning the gorge had been relatively easy for Kagura. Only a few skags had attacked her and been easily dealt with. But upon reaching the other side, a tiny hamlet of a ruined gas station and abandoned trucks had been a hornets nest of bandits. Several slum buildings had been built up around it as impromptu housing while piles of garbage sat near old washing machines in the middle of the road.

Gunfire poured from the shacks, a wide range of colors and laser fire as the maniacs hooted and taunted. Some impacts flared her shields, rippling as the warrior moved to an overturned dumptruck along the side of the road.

"Damn! Why the hell are these guys so heavily armed!" Leaning around the front bumper, she shot a bandit dead, taking a few hits herself. A grenade landed at her feet with a bounce, exploding in a wave of ice. Her shields broke with a shatter, ice covering her armor as two bandits ran forward.

"This is my truck stop! For all the wheels are mine for juicing!" a crazed madman screamed with a buzzsaw, the blade spinning horribly fast.

"Shoot my legs!" the second roared out, Kagura complying with the request as she slowly backed up while laying down fire. His kneecaps exploded, blood splattering the ground with bone as he laughed. "Stupid legs! This will show them for walking!"

"Buzzsaw…er…swing!" the first roared in a jumping sweep from the side. Kagura felt terror as she tried to bring her lancer up in time, but deep down she knew it was futile.

The blade cleaved her head in two, Kagura's brain matter and skull giving a horrid crunch, her corpse collapsing to the gravel of the camp as the bandit continued to hack and laugh at her corpse.

---

Kagura gasped as she rematerialized inside the community of Overlook, a smattering of light and pixels dancing around her. Collapsing to her hands and knees, the brunette felt her hands shake as she realized what just happened.

"I…died. I had my head cleaved and…"

"Thank you for choosing New U, the galaxy's only source for resurrection" A voice echoed from a slender piece of technology that resembled a miniature radio tower. Her cash reserves blinked into existence for a moment before a hundred dollars was withdrawn, lowering to four thousand nine hundred and three dollars.

"I get brought back to life for a that little amount of money? Kagura asked herself as she patted herself down. Everything felt normal, even her ammunition and weapons were there.

"What happens if I run out of money?" The answer became glaringly obvious a mere thought later.

"Death"

Looking around, Kagura found a few small safes sitting on chairs outside, their central surface glowing with a green button while surrounding a larger, central chest on the ground. Looking around at the town, a few people were milling about, cleaning up, but none seemed concerned about guarding these safes or boxes.

"I guess it can't hurt?" Opening the first safe, some money flew out, collecting in her weird bank account as it increased by a hundred dollars.

"Really? They just leaved unlocked safes sitting around filled with money? What kind of illogical world is this?" Kagura voiced as she continued to empty the safes, earing another four hundred dollars. Turning to the large box, she opened it, finding bundles of ammunition inside along with grenades. The ammo flew at her, collecting in her inventory with ease as the grenades lined her belt, replenishing those lost.

"Ammo too! Really!? That's just stupid!"

A screen appeared before her, rippling with static as a mocking voice sounded.

"Hahaha! I watched you die that first time while enjoying these super sexy pictures of Moxxi! Yeah, once I make copies, I'm gonna send them all over Pandora for my new smut magazine! YEAH!"

"Also, you suck! I bet your friends are doing way better than you! HAHAHAHA!"

The floating visual screen blinked away into nothing, making the woman scowl.

"So, he's a filthy man. Now I'll gladly kill him" Rushing down the hill, Kagura would slaughter all the bandits at that abandoned truck stop.

Stopping outside the outskirts of the bandit outpost, Kagura crouched down behind a low wall of sheet metal that really served no purpose at all except to give attackers cover.

"Do they want people to gain a foothold and wipe them out?" Kagura idly thought for a moment before pulling her longshot free. Zooming in a moment later, she scanned the area, finding a few dead still laying on the ground.

"I'll re-kill that woman after she snipes me!" her killer uttered out near the entrance, his buzzsaw blade held with one hand as he walked back and forth erratically.

Grinning with a smirk, Kagura was happy to comply as she lined up the shot. Sighting the bandit, she pulled the trigger with practiced ease.

The bandit's head exploded into paste, the gunshot report stirring up the whole outpost as a dozen bandits appeared from their dark shacks and the dilapidated gas station.

"SHE KILLED REGULAR BANDIT!"

"Face Mcshooty will be so jealous!"

"Roaring sounds!"

Four of them sprinted forward with bludgeons and buzzsaws, hooting and laughing like madmen while the rest began to lay down horrendous fire. Zipping lines of fire, ice, and regular rounds crashed through the air like hell, impacting the low wall of cover.

Kagura switched to her lancer, shields flaring from a few random hits. Popping up, she gunned down three of the sprinters, their bodies riddled with damage as the fourth leaped with a manic jump. Raising his blade, the bandit howled with madness.

"Baseball of horror!"

Kagura revved up the lancer, blades churning in earnestness as the bandit literally impaled himself on the weapon. "YES! Chest cavity paste!" he howled as blood and chunks of gore flew and spattered across the ground. Some hit the shields of Kagura, sliding off simply which the woman found gratifying. Flinging the dead man off her rifle, she ran forward to one of the abandoned trucks as more fire rounds splashed against her barriers. Sliding across the dirt, Kagura came to one knee and leaned out, firing at the closest bandit.

He died messy, bullets impacting the mask and caving in the head.

"Kill the truck stop blanket sorrow!" Another gunner yelled, his weapon a booming shotgun that blasted balls of fire into the ruined vehicle.

"I wish these guys had normal taunts at least" Kagura voiced to herself while blindfiring, killing two more of the maniacs.

"Five enemies left for you! Better kill us fast!" another bandit screamed from the sagging doorway of a shack before flinging a grenade. It bounced with ease, landing near Kagura who's eyes went horribly wide.

"Sh—"

Diving to the side, the blast tore away her shields while several pieces of shrapnel embedded in her armor plate. Groaning as her ears rung, she found herself on one knee, unable to fully stand.

"Kill the pig and the bird swallow!"

Bandits roared as Kagura gasped and bleed, her arms heavy.

Three of the madmen rounded the front bumper of the bullet ridden truck, their rifles pointed in all directions.

"DIE!" Kagura screamed out, mowing the fiends down, a full rippling of a magazine cutting them to ribbons as they flailed like dying ballerinas.

Killing them practically revitalized Kagura as her shields reformed, covering her body in a shimmer. Rushing toward the front bumper, she stepped on a bandit's hand still clutching a rifle…not that it mattered.

"Two left"

Leaning out, fire immediately ripped across the roadway from the ruined gas station, a surge of ice and fire rounds that hammered the metalwork. They were inside, laughing and grunting like psychos.

"Reloading!"

"Me too!"

"They can't be that stupid to announce that, right?" Kagura asked herself before shaking her head in disagreement.

Of course they were.

"Still reloading super slow! Somebody could totally sneak up and kill me right now!"

Kagura ran across the road to the station, slamming into the crumbling concrete and plaster walls of the structure. Side walking toward the window, she peered in to find one of the bandits looking up at her from a mess of broken bottles and trash.

"Hey! I said I was still reloading!"

Kagura shot him in the face, blowing the cranium apart. Rushing toward the doorway, the last bandit had finally reloaded, aiming his strange looking rifle at her midsection. Blasts of ice crashed and froze against her shields, making her movements slow.

"Not again you bastard!" the mage shouted in defiance while revving up her chainsaw bayonet. Plunging the spinning steel into the shoulder blade of the shirtless bandit, the man screamed with a fresh agony.

"RRRRAAGUUUUGGHHH! THE HAPPY DID IT AGAIN!"

The body fell to the dirty floor of the building in a gasp of gore and collapse, the ichor spraying the walls as Kagura wiped her forehead.

"Did he blame the Happy? No, I must've heard that wrong because Levy says that crap all the time"

Looking around the abandoned shop, there was several small safes lining the counter and an old fridge in the corner. Going to the fridge, she opened it…and shut it with a horrified gag.

The bandits had been using it as a toilet.

Glancing to her right along the back wall was a toilet holding several beers in a pile of ice, their chilled exterior almost tempting.

"Idiots"

Raiding the safes and lock boxes, Kagura liberated more cash.

Exiting the store, she looked down the roadway that slowly rose between two distant cliff walls. Slums and dilapidated homes hugged the shoulders before it turned into a dirt path, rising to a plateau of even more structures. The front entrance, if she could call it that was a wall of wrecked cars and rusting parts.

"And that must be Slabtown"

The static filled window blinked into existence again, the fizzle filled picture annoying.

"OH yeah! That's Slabtown with all my bandits! Come and get these pictures of Moxxi back! Oh…oh…so good!"

Kagura felt her eye twitch at the noises the disgusting pervert was making. Walking away from the floating window, she could still hear him getting excited.

"Gross!"

Feeling a shiver of disgust crawl up her spine, Kagura pressed toward the long, canyon slumtown. Walking at a brisk pace, it only took a matter of minutes before she reached the entrance.

Several garbage barrels burned inside the entrance of wrecks, their ash pluming the air. Multiple bodies hung from a two story slum house on the left, their flesh being picked at by leathery, winged creatures.

Used to such a sight, Kagura ignored the tearing of rotten flesh as she took cover behind a wall of laundry machines right in the middle of the path. Looking above the off white metal, she found the first bandit strolling through the central area, idly kicking a can.

She shot him in the back without mercy, the bullets ripping several holes into his bare flesh.

A bandit emerged from a shack, his mask almost ripe with rage as he pointed a gloved finger her way. "The Raven witch has come to steal our smut! Kill her with murder!"

It's like the slumtown came alive with bandits and gunfire, the noise a stunning symphony as Kagura stayed low. Looking above her cover, three melee bandits were charging while a midget rode one with an even smaller knife.

"Ahahahaha! Badass midget!"

Kagura threw a grenade at the grouping, the small bomb blowing them apart in storm of steel. Blasts of rifle fire flared against her shields, making the woman hunker down and shift to the right. Green lances of bubbling acid sizzled above her head, splashing into the ground with a sinister sound of melting. Blindfiring over the line of washing machines, a howl of pain roared from a bandit in the distance. Peeking over the lip of metal, Kagura's eyes went wider.

A behemoth of a bandit exited one of the shacks, easily seven feet tall as he carried a heavy rifle. Shrouded in a trench coat of tattered materials, he lumbered forward into the middle of the raging gun battle.

"Uh…I go…shoot shoot!" Spraying a magazine of lead toward the multiversal traveler, he paused to reload in the middle of the battle, his thick gloves fumbling with the fresh magazine. "Erg…reload…"

"Not too bright" Kagura muttered before she shrugged off another random bullet that rippled her shields. Exposing her upper body to fire, she put three bullets into the large bandit's head with professional accuracy.

Unfortunately, instead of dying and having his head turn to mush, the behemoth roared in uncontrolled rage as his head shrunk into a tinted crimson. Body expanding and ripping his trenchcoat, his arms became like tree trunks while supported by a massive chest of hard muscle.

"RRRRAAARRGHHH!" Backhanding a nearby bandit, the victim splattered against a wall, representing a stain of tomato and dismembered meat. Jumping as another bandit screamed in defiance, the raging beast grasped the man with one hand and lifted him up.

"My head is firmly attached!"

The monster ripped it off, tossing the lose head to the side and dropping the headless corpse. Lumbering forward as two midgets tired to shoot it with shotguns that spat blasts of buckshot, they just angered the beast as it jumped.

"Run with short legs!"

He landed on both with a disgusting splat, his roar of defiance echoing among the slums as the bandits poured fire into the monster. But it ignored them, casting his enraged gaze upon Kagura who started to back up.

"Oh…crap…"

Backpedaling while laying down lancer fire, she knew that every bullet hit the bandit beast as it charged, swinging its arms madly.

Her gun chattered empty, the female avoiding the first fist with a duck…but the second right hook connected, shattering her shields. Flying through the air, she impacted the stack of ruined cars of the entranceway, coughing up blood. Landing hard against the ground, she tried to pull her pistol free.

"Rippy time! RARRGH!"

Kagura was picked up, the beast grasping her legs and upper body in mammoth hands. Beginning to pull, she felt untold agony among her stretching muscles and flesh.

"NO!" She cried out moments before being ripped in half, her entrails spilling across the ground with a sickening spatter. Dropping the two separate pieces of her corpse, the beast turned to a few bandits that had appeared, his rage still uncontrolled.

---

Kagura doubled over as she reformed in Overlook, the echoes of memory and agony still fresh in her mind. Coughing at the horror of such a horrible death, her hand visibly shook for a moment.

"I'm…I'm alright. Your alive again, Kagura" Gasping, she took a few moments as money was withdrawn for the service of reconstructing her body. Standing up half a minute later, Kagura accessed her wrist mounted inventory with a hollow sneer.

Vengeance was now at the forefront of her mind.

The device really was a godsend for all of them storing weapons, food and essentials. Especially if they were separated. Kagura just wished Levy had built them earlier in their hellish journey across the multiverse.

Briefly, she wondered where her friends had ended up, but then the fury roared back like a freight train.

"That monster is going to pay" She promised as Kagura scrolled through dozens of weapons. Settling on a rocket launcher, she selected the weapon. Reforming in a span of pixels and light, she slung it over her shoulder before sprinting down the hill toward Slabtown once more.

Kagura slunk through the entranceway, the gore spatter where her body had been horribly fresh. The fact that pieces of flesh still sat there was grisly since she was literally walking over her own grave.

Rushing in a low crouch, she came to the line of washing machines once more, the bodies of bandits laying around the area. Scorch marks and bullet holes decorated the surface along with fresh furrows.

A little up the hill was the large bandit wearing a new trench coat, his back turned.

"I've calmed down from head rage. Now I shoot bad raven witch" He muttered loudly to himself as he turned around, starting to lumber down the hill. A few other bandits were walking nearby near their slum homes, brandishing weapons and waiting to kill.

"Do they just forget that big guy was slaughtering everybody?" Shrugging, she found it really didn't matter. Unslinging the double barreled rocket launcher, she rested the front end on the top of the derelict appliances. Aiming along the sights, Kagura took a deep breath.

"HEY ASSHOLE!"

"Dur…head hurt…from rage murder" the bandit muttered in a slack jaw motion while raising his rifle.

Kagura fired, a lance of ordinance flashing through the air before impacting the behemoth, blowing him into gore splattered bits.

"HEY! She killed the guy that killed my friends! KILL HER AGAIN!" a bandit roared out as he ran into the open, firing wildly. Three more joined him, including a buff looking midget that laughed hysterically in a child-like voice. Shooting his shotgun, the tiny person flew backwards with a childlike laugh before quickly climbing to his feet.

"I'm a tiny behemoth!"

"Idiots!" she shouted while firing again, the second lance of explosive power hitting the central bandit. Fire and shrapnel ripped them apart with a minor exception. The midget flew through the air, screaming while on fire. Landing hard, his head impacted with a crunch…then a similar roar of anger.

"MIDGET RAGE!" the tiny human bellowed as his muscles and arms enlarged to double their size. Running around while flesh burned, it centered its ire on Kagura.

"Miniature murder…Rarrghhh!"

"I can't take this guy seriously at all" Pulling her pistol, she shot the rampaging tiny person in the head multiple times, destroying the cranium. Retaking cover as a few errant bursts of gunfire impacted her shields from further up the hill, Kagura quickly reloaded her rocket launcher…and thoroughly enjoyed blasting apart the ramshackle ruins of the slums around her.

Reaching the top of the hill half an hour later, Kagura let out a grin of satisfaction. It had been bloody and messy, but she hadn't died again while clearing out the bandits.

Sadly for Kagura, the actual Slabtown built on the next hill was a maze of old industrial buildings, slum shacks, footbridges and defunct smoke stacks. A labyrinth of ambush locations, blind spots, and unknown enemies.

"HEY!"

Kagura spun instantly, raising her lancer as a lone bandit emerged from a tiny hut. Bare chested like most of the bandits, he had a large, red mohawk along with a face mask. Stopping before the woman, he flung his arms wide.

"SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!"

Kagura cocked an eyebrow, shifting her stance. "Um…what?"

"ARE YOU DEAF! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!" Pointing to his mask with extended fingers, the bandit jumped up and down.

"I dunno. The moral implications of shooting an unarmed man…"

"NO! I'M FACE MCSHOOTY AND THINKING OF MORALS DOESN'T GET ME SHOT IN THE FACE!"

Kagura hesitated, then shot the man in the leg.

"NO! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT A FACE IS!? SHOOT ME IN THE FAAAACE! COME ON! FACEFACEFACE! BULLETS IN THE FACE!"

"Um…" Kagura aimed at his other leg, shooting him in the thick meat of his thigh.

"MY FACE! THE THING SHOUTING AT YOU! SHOOT IT!"

"I'm sorry, I just can't do that yet" Shooting him in the right arm, the bandit howled in rage.

"BULLETS! FACE! NOT ASKING FOR MUCH! FACCCEEE!"

Switching to the left arm, she shot him there too.

"I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT A GODDAMN FACE IS! SHOOT ME IN IT!"

"Fine" Kagura shot him in the face, the crazed bandit sighing in pleasure.

"Thank you!" Dying in a pool of blood, several stacks of money appeared, flying toward Kagura. Scratching her head, she looked down at the corpse.

"That was really weird. Oh well. Not like anybody will care I shot this guy" She shrugged before breaking into a light jog. Arriving at the entrance of Slabtown a few minutes later, Kagura felt a sense of relief. A New-U station was erected to the left, wedged between two vending machines advertising ammo or medical supplies.

"Finally. I was getting really sick of walking all this way over and over again" Walking past two burning barrels and several pieces of sheet metal that had been erected as simple walls, Kagura felt her instincts scream.

A sniper round tore through her shields a brief second later, the woman scrambling for cover behind a low wall as electricity kept the shields from recharging. Trying to find the shooter, she never found him as the next round tore through her head, splattering her brains across the dirt.

"THAT'S FOR NOT SHOOTING FACE MCSHOOTY PROPERLY!" A bandit yelled from a distant rooftop, his anger diminishing quickly. "Oh. Yeah, she can't hear me anymore"

"Dammit!" Kagura shouted out with bundled fists, finding herself reforming with a bundle of lights and pixels between the two vending machines. Handling her longshot, she strafed the wall to the burning barrel, her form still hidden by the heat and smoke. Resting the rifle on the low sheet metal wall, her lips pursed in a grim line as she zoomed in on the roof sniper.

He was distracted, swatting at insects near a few chairs and couches looking over the side of the structure to the narrow path below. Two more bandits meandered around, their words low and muffled. A ladder was bolted to the side of the six story building, facing her with easy access.

Scanning to the left row of buildings, a few more rooftop snipers were waiting.

Kagura lined up with a midget, the masked maniac holding a ridiculously large sniper rifle to the point he could barely walk. Struggling not to fall over, it would be almost comical if these bandits didn't try to keep killing her.

The currently powerless gravity mage squeezed the trigger, an upward angled shot that blew the tiny human backwards with a squeal.

"HEY! Midget bandit got shot!" a psychopath bellowed as he ran over to the roofs edge, the laser light of his rifle scanning the ground. The other guards did the same, three of them already shooting at random places.

Working the bolt, Kagura ended a second bandit with a headshot, the brainpan exploding into gore as his body toppled over the side to splat against the ground.

Bullets impacted the sheet metal wall and burning barrel, a mixture of electrical, acid and normal lead that sparked and popped. Some of them splashed against her shields, flaring them before she moved out of harms way, giving them a chance to recharge. Working the bolt as bullets flew, the woman centered her aim on the initial sniper that killed her.

"I'm the next victim!"

"Hmph. Damn right you are" blowing the snipers brains out, he crumpled as several melee bandits began to rush forward, jumping and screaming like madmen. She threw a frag, the small bomb bouncing into their path.

"I'm the glue paste!" Three of them burst like horrid balloons, shrapnel ripping them apart as the fourth jumped. "FOR THE PASTE!" Swinging his club, it rippled against her shields as he laughed hysterically before her. The male howled as random spike damage erupted from Kagura's shields, his body representing a pincushion.

"Die, you insane bastard!" the mage retorted while using the butt of her rifle to crack his mask.

"My eye holes! How dare you use pudding!" Swinging again, he missed with a whiff of air as the mage smashed his face a second time, knocking him to the ground. Constant blows fell, turning the bandit's head into a crushed melon as Kagura grunted in exertion.

"Ah! Time for a dynamite hug!" Another bandit roared among the gunfire, his bare chest glistening with scars as he ran with a bundle of lit dynamite.

Kagura shot him in the knee with her pistol, the bone shattering as the enemy screamed in horror. "NO! MY FREE HUG!" Exploding into an ichor strewn paste, Kagura ran toward the tallest building and its ladder. Climbing the rungs with haste, she reached the top. Stepping onto the roof, two bandits charged her, their clubs decorated with blades and spikes.

"The chili bowl has arrived! For I am the mule!"

Barking pistol shots tore both bandits down mere feet away, their death throes a mess of leaking blood.

A constant roar of gunfire mixed in with elemental damage shattered the air from the surrounding buildings, but this was the tallest one. Smirking to herself as she crawled toward the edge near a tipped over refrigerator, Kagura relished that she now held the high ground to see most of slabtown.

An opportunity she would not waste. Taking a fresh hold of her longshot, she aimed at a distant bandit on a roof reloading behind a low barricade, his shotgun completely ineffectual for this type of gunfight. Killing him with a sure headshot, Kagura began to work thinning out the bandit horde as screams of madness and taunts filled the air.

Several hours later.

Darkness fell upon Slabtown, casting long shadows created by fires and burning barrels that lines pathways, building entrances, and dead end alleys. The moon above was a glowing, cracked monstrosity of ruin, bathing this mad world in its pale glow.

Kagura had worked her sniper skills over every available target, killing a good fifty of the insane maniacs as they ran around below in a running panic to kill.

None of them thought to use the ladder behind her and attack her, which was a small blessing.

The connecting foot bridge to a lower building that sat to her direct north was another thing. Hiding behind another low barricade of a couch, she peeked around with her lancer as a few errant gunshots echoed from across the way.

"I built this bridge myself! I kno—" A running bandit tripped, falling off the open edge of boards and steps to his death below.

Kagura stifled a chuckle, finding the death humorous. But it was quickly squashed by two bandits shooting at her, one of them using a laser rifle that split a harsh beam through the night.

It smelled like burning ozone.

She returned fire, maiming one as the other screamed, jumping out into the open. "I felt that wound!"

The raven haired woman obliged him, putting ten rounds into his chest and finally killing the last of the defenders in the area.

"Damn that was annoying. These guys are relentless I give them that" the female groused while reloading. Walking across the bridge to the shorter building, the dead bandits were scattered in their death poses. Opening a few safes and ammo boxes, she replenished her munitions with ease.

With that done, she centered her gaze on a large warehouse in the center of town, its smokestacks pluming non-stop fire into the darkened air.

A window appeared, the picture a fuzz as the familiar voice became known.

"I see you've killed all my bandits while you gaze upon my…fortress! You know, the one with these super sexy pictures of Moxxi? Oh…oh…OH MOXXI!"

It was a horrible sound to the woman as grunting was heard through the communication.

"COME AND FIGHT ME! But only after I finish!"

"Ahh! I don't need to hear that!"

The communication window snapped away, Kagura felt with new waves of disgust against the pervert.

She vowed to kill him at this point just because he was disgusting.

Making the journey through the shadows of slabtown, it was almost eerie how silent it was considering how maddening it was to get here.

Arriving at the buildings entrance, she found the door decorated with pictures of partially clothed women in provocative stances…along with the hanging corpses of traitorous bandits at the sides.

"Well, time to finish this" Double checking her lancer once more, Kagura pushed the door open and stepped inside…only to fall down an angled slide. Rushing down the pitted concrete on her buttocks, she landed with a thud in a room below the warehouse.

Standing slabs of concrete were strewn at random while a red, satin couch sat upon a raised platform in the middle. Upon it was a man in a flamboyant coat of red, blue, and purple with a feathered cap resting upon his head. A gas mask covered his main face, the portholes an insidious green. Picking up a rifle that glowed red along its entire length, the man stepped off with a swagger.

"Welcome to my battle arena including my love couch! I am…

The words flashed into existence above him, pained with a lusty pink and red.

The Cartographer: He can't read maps!

"What the hell kind of name is that!?" Kagura yelled at the bandit king who shouted back.

"Love master was taken! Plus, cartographers deal with nude pictures of women!

"No, they don't! They make maps for exploration!"

"Enough of your perverted slander, Raven Witch! Time to be killed by my cartographer shaft of love!" Cocking his rifle, a few hearts floated upwards from the action as the child like screams of midgets erupted from the shadows.

The lights dimmed to a sinister red as Cartographer powered up his shields, the barriers flickering under his sinister laughter. "You'll never take my pictures!" Laying down fire, his rifle sent blobs of burning red balls toward the woman who sprinted toward the nearest vertical wall of concrete. It splashed against the surface, a roiling heat of flame that only enhanced his laughter.

"Map-a-pallooozaa!"

"STILL A STUPID NAME, MORON!" Kagura roared in response as the first wave of midgets rounded the corner. There were eight of them, each carrying tiny bludgeons and knives for hacking their victims apart.

The leader carried a shotgun, the weapon large for the shorter person as he braced his feet. "You can't stop the Midge-Midge!"

Buckshot pellets flared Kagura's body shield, the energy barrier rippling while the Cartographer continued to lay down a barrage of explosive fire. Grunting as her body staggered, Kagura lay down a full magazine into the screaming horde of madness.

Five died under the hail of bullets, their wounds a seeping red as Kagura sprinted to the next vertical slab of concrete. A ball of fire struck her flank, her shields dropping even more.

"Hahaha! You can't stop my sailing shiiiip!"

Trying to catch a breath as more midgets ran toward her, the mage quickly reloaded, the spent box clattering to the ground.

"Bicycle!" a midge screamed in a tiny jump, only to be kicked away by the female. His weapon clattering away, Kagura stepped on his back, revving up her lancer. Plunging it into the maniac, he screamed a howl of agony with spraying gore erupting from the wound.

The pattering of feet grew closer, the psychos gathering as Kagura sprinted to the next wall of concrete along the right side of the room. Laying down a few shots at Cartographer, he simply laughed as his shields flared…then unleashed another wave of fireballs from his rifle.

"Kill her!"

"I'ma make you die!"

"Ice cream cake is delicious!"

There were at least twenty of the tiny fiends running toward her from all angles, trying to surround her. Most were equipped with guns, their aim pathetic but enough to constantly drain her shields.

Shooting another in the neck, the bandit spurted crimson across another, the liquid splashing through the eye holes of the mask.

"MY EYES!"

Flinging a fragmentation grenade at the screamer who began to run around in panic, the bomb was picked up by another.

"I have it! I have the egg!"

The bandit exploded into paste, a nightmarish decorating of the wall while four more were heavily maimed, their limbs or legs crippled.

"Why did my friend die! Whhhyyyyy!?" a bandit screamed as he shot at Kagura, the blast of buckshot flinging him backwards into two other midgets.

"Don't have time for these idiots!" Kagura cursed out as she peered around the corner of her cover. Finding Cartographer reloading, she fired at his head.

Bullets rippled and splashed against his heavy shields like pebbles on water, their effect doing some damage, but not enough.

"I'm gonna take pictures of you, tooooOO!" Gyrating his hips in unison with firing his weapon, Kagura became sickened by the implication as he continually thrust. Blasts of fire bullets rocked her concrete cover, raining down dust as he laughed and taunted from his platform.

"Disgusting!" she uttered as more bandit bullets flared her shields. Rushing to the next available cover, Cartographer managed to hit her three times with explosive fire. Stumbling into cover as dirt and grime covered her face, the woman felt the aching pain of those blows.

"Time for midget hugs! Boom! Boom!" a maniac screamed from her left, the tiny form running forward with a bundle of dynamite that had already been lit. Surrounded by at least five enemies, Kagura found herself between two forces of tiny insanity.

"Dammit! Will you assholes just let me fight this guy!" She yelled in annoyed rage. Laying down fire to her left, bullets snapped and screamed, impacting the dynamite in a lucky shot. Exploding, the bandits on the left were reduced to a fine paste of red and mist, covering Kagura in red as it floated in the air among constant explosions from the main boss.

Coughing up some of the red, she really didn't want to think about what she just inhaled. The other wave of bandits still rushed, shooting and constantly missing in their rage.

"She killed my rival! Kill her!"

"I'm gonna ride a bicycle with ice cream!"

"My name is George!"

Shields finally flickering back, Kagura ran to the next wall of cover.

"Don't ignore me, the CARTOGRAPHER!" Blasts of explosive balls rocked the edge of concrete she hugged, their rippling fire constant.

"Enough of this" Pulling up her inventory of weapons, Kagura quickly selected a flamethrower. Equipping in a flash of light, the massive tank hung off her back as she gripped the two handed nozzle.

"I'm gonna charge directly at her!" A bandit roared out, his hands wielding two knives. Leading the remaining pack of fifteen, the midgets charged with squeals of hatred and malice among the constant barrage of their boss.

Kagura didn't say anything. All she did was squeeze the trigger as a stream of napalm washed over the bandits, scorching flesh and skin with horrid efficiency. Many began to scream and run around like match sticks, their hands up in the air while they died.

"I'M LITTERALLY ON FIRE RIGHT NOW! AHHHHHHHhhhh…."

"OH GOD! WHY!"

"OH GOD! IT'S HOT! TOASTER OVEN!"

They flailed and died, falling to the ground one by one as their flesh cooked, their remains nothing more than blackened husks.

"My crew! How dare you kill the Cartographers photo club!" Laying down fire, a barrage of heat and blasts rocked the area as splash damage boiled over onto the floor around her. Running to the next slab, the fusillade of rounds followed Kagura as she ran. Some hit her between the places of cover, each hit feeling like a hammer blow. Hugging another cracked wall, Kagura waited as the unending barrage of fire hammered her position like a wave, the laughing maniac thoroughly wasting his ammunition.

It suddenly stopped.

Peering around the corner, Kagura found him reloading, trying to swap out magazines. Moving into the open, Kagura lay down a fresh stream of napalm at the crazed man. The stream crashed against his shields, flaring while depleting the energy with ease.

They shattered with a sound of breaking glass, his form finally vulnerable to damage.

"BURN IN HELL YOU PERVERT!" the raven haired mage screamed out, her stream of napalm washing over his flesh and clothing. Flesh cooking with a vile stench, he fell to his knees screaming.

"All I wanted was to exploit nude images of women I stole! Is that so wrong!? AHHHHHH! MY CARTOGRAPHER HAT!" Writhing in a final death pose, his corpse collapsed near his bed…then erupted in an explosion of money, ammunition, and multiple weapons, shields and grenade mods.

"What the hell?" Kagura asked herself as she approached the pile of loot, eyeing it all. Picking up the Cartographers gun, the information screen that popped up displayed its stats in a deep purple.

Torgue's Thick Stick of Awesomeness!

Go ahead and touch it…

Damage: 605

Accuracy: 70.2

Fire Rate: 13.8

Magazine Size: 60

Special abilities: EXPLOSIONS! BLOW SHIT UP INDOORS!

Well, a weapon like this will be useful" Kagura told herself as she scanned it into her wrist mounted weapon storage. Looking around at the scattered loot, she simply shrugged and began to repeat the process. There would be plenty of time to properly inventory it all later.

The image of Moxxi appeared a minute later, her cleavage apparent as always while she smiled. "Great job, Sugar. Now find those pictures of me and burn them. Just thinking about what those nasty bandits were doing is enough to make a girl's skin crawl. Once you do that, come on back and collect your reward before heading to Sanctuary"

The video box blinked away, leaving the woman alone among the dead. Giving another annoyed sigh, Kagura walked to the bandit bosses bed…which had a disgusting amount of stains she didn't want to think about. Finding a safe nearby, she opened it, finding the pictures in question.

"I will admit she is a beautiful woman. Too much make-up though"

Walking to the still burning corpse of her enemy, she tossed the pictures into the fire, watching them quickly curl and fold from the flame.

"This world is a pain in the ass. But maybe I can find the others at Sanctuary" the mage told herself as she left the bandits lair, content with ridding the world of vile men.

For the life of her, Kagura couldn't figure out why Levy had been hoping to come to this bloody planet.

Badass Crater of Badassitude

Dust and sand gusted across the landscape, howling through the rusting remains of cars and burning wrecks along the cratered roadway of cracked asphalt. Howling wind coursed between the collection of shops and homes, nearly blowing a man over as he walked by several vending machines and the fast travel network relay. A tall, radio mast device sat near the fast travel station, blinking with power.

Mira appeared in a flutter of light and pixels, the woman instantly shielding her eyes from the grit. She didn't even notice the New-U station scanning her body composition as a harsh gust of sand blew through the area.

Some got in her mouth, the taste of sand complimented by the heat of the sun above.

Looking around for the others, Mira quickly found herself alone as the dirty civilian ran inside a crumbling home, locking the metal door with a thud.

Squinting her eyes at the sky, a blimp hung among the serene blue, flickering advertisements of television crowding multiple screens across its long surface. Barely a hundred feet above the ground it flew in front of a massive stadium, circling the small community wedged against a canyon wall.

A heavy set man appeared with a goatee, his chubby face lined with age as the blimp advertisement screen flickered above.

"Hey. This is Marcus of Marcus Munitions. Do you like bullets and guns? Then come to my shop in Sanctuary. Or, buy from one of my many vending machines across Pandora. Remember, if you don't buy my guns, your enemies will!"

"Well. At least its not freezing and that horrible little robot is gone"

The blimp screen fuzzed, then Claptrap appeared among thudding music. Normalface ran past in the background, screaming about disco murder.

"This is Claptrap! And this is my commercial for my illegal dance party! Come on down and DANCE!"

"RAGEMELON!"

"That's right! We got a killer watermelon so come find us at our super secret location! And don't even think of trying to escape! This dance is mandatory and punishable by death or me talking!"

A new commercial played, showing a man in a blood stained white coat and surgical mask.

"This is Dr. Ned and if you find yourself blown up, shot or partially eaten, come by my clinic and I'll fix you up! I promise I'm a real doctor!"

Another advertisement played, the blimp floating directly above Mira as distant gunshots and exploding vehicles echoed across the arid landscape.

"Pandora. This is Handsome Jack, your overlord. Now, just recently some new vault hunters appeared, and they really want to ruin my day by trying to do the right thing. Do me a fovor and hunt them down? …Oh man, these are really good chips. But only rich and handsome people can have them, like me" Continuing to eat out of the bag, the commercial went on for ten seconds, just showing the man eating chips with satisfaction.

"Who the hell was that smug bastard?"

A growling snarl of engines roared from the West as two apocalyptic trucks drove across the desert. The chaser had a gunner in the truck bed, callously spraying a thunder of machine gun rounds at his prey and really, anything that was in the area. A few rounds tore through the first trucks tire, skewering it with a howl of tearing rubber and panicked screams from the driver.

"SHIT!" Strauss yelled out as the vehicle bore down on her at breakneck speeds, the driver taking three rounds to the chest. Rolling to the side, the crash of metal on splintering brickwork was horribly close while fire began to eat at the engine.

Running low as the second group sprayed more hellish rounds at her for fun, the explosive blast picked her up seconds later, flinging her to the dust.

"Dammit! I missed!" The gunner bellowed before hooting something at the driver. The driver laughed, then rammed into the scorched remains of their dead enemies, causing a snarl of renewed tearing metal while black smoke and billowing ash poured into the desert sky.

Taking cover in a recessed doorway, Mira returned fire, her rounds tearing through the gunner and driver, leaving a tangle of flesh and blood. Approaching cautiously, she strafed around the side of the wreck, finding that the bandits were in fact, dead.

"That was mediocre at best! There weren't any explosions at all! What are you, anti explosion?! IF YOU WERE A REAL MAN, YOU'D BLOW SHIT UP!"

Spinning on her heel while raising her rifle in one swift motion, Mira found a large man standing on top of one of the buildings. His muscles were massive and well tanned, rippling with male strength as no shirt covered them. His face was partially hidden by a big mustache and sunglasses while a red cap decorated the top of his head. A mane of black hair billowed behind him during a sand gust, rippling as he jumped down to the ground. His ears were covered by a headset of some kind with a tiny microphone near his mouth, the piece of technology a dull gray.

Mister Torgue! Manly Muscles and EXPLOSIONS! FUCK YEAH!

"He reminds me of my brother" Mira thought as those strange, floating letters danced above him for several seconds.

"Welcome to the Badass Crater of Badassitude! Where only the most badass of adventures and enemies live! No weakly girly men bandits here, ONLY THE BADDEST!"

Clenching his fist, the man stepped forward on one foot, his excitement growing. "GET READY FOR SOME BADASS SHIT, MIRA! IT'S TIME FOR A MISSION! YEAHHHHHH!"

She cocked an inquisitive eyebrow, slightly lowering her rifle. "How do you know my name?"

"WHO GIVES A DAMN! NOW ACCEPT MY MISSION! WOOOOOOO!" the man roared out while leaning back in bellow of excitement. A floating exclamation point appeared over his head, floating like it belonged.

Shrugging, Mira approached then clicked the little dot, accepting the quest.

Torgue's Superplosion Commerical!

Difficulty: EXTREME!

Reward: MONEY! AND A SWEET GUN!

"EXPLOSIOINS! YEEEAHHH!"

"Holy crap! Calm down!" Mira shot back as the man punched the air.

"I LITERALLY CAN'T!"

"Holy crap, I better not let my brother meet this guy" Hoping that he was still alive back home, Mira pushed those thoughts away. "Alright, what's the job?"

"Well, as you know, I recently gave guns to several bandit groups so they could cause mayhem and kill each other in my crater! Unfortunately, those diabolical madmen turned on me and seized my old factory that was slated for… A MASSIVE FUCKING EXPLOSION!" YEAH! FUCKING FIRE AND BLOWING SHIT UP!"

"Torgue! The mission? If you keep going on I can't destroy anything!" Mira yelled, getting his attention.

"Your right! Your job is to get in my factory and blow the fucker up while I broadcast the whole thing across Pandora! And make sure to kill those traitorous bandits that had no sense of decency! They're trying to save my factory those non-exploding bastards!" Clutching his massive fists, he suddenly pointed behind him to a ramshackle store. "I left you a nova shield and an area effect battle recorder! If you die or the shield just falls from damage, the shield will…EXPLODE IN WAVE OF FIRE! KILLING YOUR ENEMIES EVEN AFTER YOU DIE! IT'S BADASS!"

"I don't plan on dying today" Mira replied cockily as she entered the store and quickly equipped the devices to her armor. A rippling of reddish orange cascaded around her then disappeared, fully powered as she walked back out.

Torgue was still standing there, his mane of black hair waving in the desert breeze.

"My factory is located near the forge to the south. Take that truck…AND BLOW SHIT UP FOR MY BROADCAST! ONLY THE BADDEST ARE THERE AND THEY'LL KILL YOU! MAKE IT LOOK GOOD!"

Mira idly wondered why she should even risk this type of mission with the possibility of death, but then figured she really didn't have much to lose anyway. Pulling the dead bandit out of the driver's seat, she climbed in and turned the key, the vehicle rumbling to life. Going into reverse, she drove onto the nearby cratered road.

"JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO COMMENTATE EVERY TIME YOU BITE THE BULLET!" Torgue's voice erupted from the area battle recorder attached to her left wrist, the volume on maximum.

"GAH!" Mira shouted while swerving in surprise, running over some sort of nasty looking animal. Tires kicking up dirt and bits of red, she swerved back onto the road.

"DON'T GET DISTRACTED!"

"How can I not with the volume at maximum!?"

"LOUD VOLUME IS EXPECTED!"

Spitting sand out of her mouth from another gust, Mira drove, trying to find a way south.

"This road is a mess" She idly commented, driving past a repair shop half buried in sand. A few cars were visible, but long stripped of anything useful. The truck dipped into a crater, jouncing the woman side to side as a distant train whistle echoed across the dirty sand dunes.

Bullets suddenly smashed into the rear of her vehicle, a cascade of tracers that sparked and snapped past her head.

"SHIT!" Yanking the wheel to the right, Mira kicked up grit and gravel in a fishtail before flooring it past a few burning wrecks that belched black smoke and ash. More rounds pinged and screeched across the outer metalwork with sparks as the growling engines of pursuers drew closer.

Another car full of bandits drove up on the left, several of them hanging off the sides while waving machetes and clubs. A midget stood on the hood, beating his palms in excitement as the driver smashed into Mira's truck, creating a hell of sparks and grinding metal.

"For the train marrow!" A larger badass bandit screeched while climbing in the back, his club raised high.

"Get off my fucking truck!" Mira roared out, raising her boltok and firing into the man's face, turning it into a spatter of bone. More hideous laughter and growling engines came from her left, the second bandit vehicle aiming to collide. Screeching into the side seconds later, the bandits wedged the truck, laughing hysterically as they began to climb on to maim and kill the female.

"I'm the lollipop king!"

"I don't' fucking care!" Strauss yelled as she left the drivers seat, her form quickly entering the gunner position. Pushing the corpses away, she yanked back on the charging handle of the machine gun, her face a snarl of hatred.

"Carburrito's are DELICIOUS!" another bandit yelled as he climbed toward the woman, swinging his buzzsaw wildly.

"DIE!"

A stream of bullets chewed the closest bandit to pieces, his limbs scattering as she tacked fire into the truck on the right. Men screamed and howled, some with madness as rounds tore into them without mercy, the ruin clearly visible. Beginning to billow smoke and fire, the dead driver's weight pushed down on the accelerator, pulling the three trucks forward as they became entangled with damage and caught parts.

Buckshot slammed against her shields, flaring them red as Mira felt the mass of vehicles pull to the left. Swinging the turret to her tormentor that shot again, the female unleashed a fury of a fusillade into the badass midget.

"AIIIEEEE!"

Chewing up the side of her enemy's truck, more men screamed and died under her wrath, leaving nothing but blood and gore splattering the insides. Eight rounds had torn through the helmeted driver, nearly decapitating him up front as the entangled vehicles headed toward a railroad crossing…with a speeding meglev train about to cross.

"Oh…shit" Was all Mira was able to utter before the accident occurred, killing her instantly. Her nova shield unleased a wall of fire and explosive napalm upon impact with the train engine, killing the engineers and piecing the power cells that fueled the locomotive. Wrenching off the magnetic field tracks with a howl of tearing metal, the hanging train tumbled into the sand, the transport cars and containers spinning and flipping through the air.

One of them carried volatile fuel, something that should not be disturbed. Mira's nova wave slammed into it, instantly inciting a fresh explosion of fuel that thunder-clapped the air while a visible mushroom cloud rose above the sands of roiling fire and burning train parts.

---

Mira reformed inside the small village, the woman instantly trying to take a gasp of shocked air. Finding some of her cash reserves dwindling by a small amount, she tried to regain her senses. "What…what the hell?" She gasped in horror while patting herself down.

"THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!" Torgue screamed from the rooftops, the replay of the train explosion and Mira's death repeating on the floating blimp above. "TOTALLY FUCKING EPIC! THAT'LL SHOW THAT TRAIN FOR NOT EXPLODING EARLIER!"

"How can it be awesome when I just fucking died!?"

Torgue crossed his large arms over his bare chest while his mane of hair billowed. "Don't you know? Heroes on Pandora can always revive so long as they have…MONEY! Find that shit and spend it on guns! TORGUE GUNS! YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!"

"Are you telling me that so long as I have money, I can't die?"

"PRECISELY!"

Mira grinned, her smile becoming almost evil. "Awesome"

"TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME!" Pointing toward the large stadium, Torgue was still yelling. "Now go get a damn car and blow up my factory!"

"Alright! I'm fired up now!" Mira grinned mischievously. Running toward the stadium as gusts of sand blew across the landscape, Mira quickly found the garage in question. An armored dune buggy painted with rusting camo sat in the concrete vehicle bay, a few old blood stains decorating the bumper. A machine gun barrel poked out near the driver's seat, slick with maintenance.

There was a grungy man in coverall's leaning back in a chair near an open car bay, his baseball cap equally as dirty. Taking a swig of some rotgut, the man tilted his head back, looking up at Mira as more dust flew past them.

"Well, ain't you just a purdy thang just like my momma and my weird feelings about that"

"This guy is the definition of a redneck"

Mira decided to ignore the stuff about this man's mother. She really didn't want to know. Instead, she pointed to the dune buggy. "I need a car"

"It's yours as long as you ain't some Hyperion robot sonabitch" taking another swig, the man belched while ogling Mira's obvious curves. "No sir…you sure ain't no robot…Ah, where's my manners! I'm Scooter and this is my…Catch a Riiiide!"

Waiting for a few moments, the man threw down his bottle in disgust before jumping to his feet. Grabbing a wrench, he started to wave it around at the billowing sand. "Damn you Pandora! Where's my introduction words! That damn Claptrap got one, you sexy planet!" Kicking at some dirt, the man threw his wrench down in disgust and anger.

"Ain't that just a load a crap? Yeah, go on and take my car. I'll get another ready for when this one gets blown up. You know…and when you die" Sitting back down, Scooter picked up a magazine with nude women on the front, his perverted smirk growing larger. Scowling, he cast an annoyed look at Mira. "You mind? I'm trying to look at pornography"

"Don't let me disturb you" Mira stated before climbing into the dune buggy. The controls were similar, with the mechanism for the machine gun between the seats. Test firing the gun, a few bullets and tracers flew out, hitting a crumbling wall across the road.

"Hey! I said I was reading my porn! Get the hell outta here unless you wanna pose for me?"

"Nope. Fuck that" the woman whispered with a shudder. Flooring the gas, she tore out of the garage and tiny hamlet, driving onto the desolate and broken road. Gusts of sand washed across the pavement and dunes, shifting past ruined structures as she drove.

The carnage of the train wreck soon came into view, a spillage of oily smoke, ash and debris littering the landscape. Several bandit crews were already sifting through the twisted ruins, trying to salvage anything of value.

"RUN OVER THOSE BANDITS AND MAKE THEM EXPLODE!"

"That's the idea" she replied, aiming for a group of masked men picking at scraps. The fact that three of them were midgets didn't faze Strauss at all. In fact, she drove faster.

"My legs!" a bandit cried as Mira ran him over, then two of his friends that tossed over the buggy like broken rag dolls.

"Get outta my way!" she laughed as her right hand moved to the machine gun control stick. Rounds thundered out in a spray of tracers and fire, claiming lives. Some of the bandits shot back, bullets flying like angry wasps and sparking off the buggy. Mira cut down one of those men, cutting him in half with a long burst. Running over a giant midget, his head splattered against the grill like a bursting watermelon. Swerving around the twisted and burning wreckage of another train car, a large bandit wearing a blue wig tried to charge at the buggy, his rifle spitting blobs of acid.

"ONLY I CAN BE THE LEVY!"

Mira ran him over without a second thought, the vehicle jouncing as the corpse became tangled in the undercarriage. Dragging the body for half a mile away from the burning landscape of ruin, the bandit was nothing more than a roadkill stain.

"WELL, AT LEAST YOUR RAN SOME OVER. BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY BLOW UP A SECOND TRAIN! OR A MOUNTAIN! BLOW UP A FUCKING MOUNTAIN!"

"I'm not blowing up a mountain you deranged maniac!"

"YOU COULD IF YOU FOUND VANCE! HE BLOWS UP MOUNTAINS WITH HIS ABS!"

Mira ignored the insanity of that statement because deep down, she knew it was probably true on this planet. Driving over another sand dune that had buried a few homes long in the past, her eyes finally gleaned the forge further ahead…along with its volcanic elements.

To say it was hazardous would be an understatement. Volcanic vents pushed soot and ash into the charred sky among smoke stacks and distant furnaces. The heat of forged metals and machinery chugged with rotating wheels of industry. Rivers of molten slag ran underneath foot bridges and catwalks, their rising heat visible even from this distance.

Driving forward as ash began to rain down, she soon came to a stop at the entrance to the valley. Pillars of rock and vehicle barricades blocked the path, along with hastily erected walls. A plume of fire erupted from an industrial smoke stack, the belching flame like a pyre.

"The Forge is great for collecting the heavy, badass metals I need for my guns! Now get in there and kill those anti-explosion pansies!"

Climbing out of the buggy, Mira didn't see anybody guarding the entrance, but she knew better. Walking past the vertical vehicle guards, more ash and soot rained down, the elements lightly flaring against her shield.

Squat, drab looking workshops of heavy metals, piping, and supports decorated the area, their coloration of ash similar to everything else. Further ahead, a walkway crossed a molten river of slag with visible heat steaming upward.

Clanging machinery echoed, a titanic hammering of automation as the forge continued to work. Several barrels painted a hazardous red dotted the work yard along with places for cover, almost like somebody planned for battle.

A man exited one of the workshops, his body enshrouded in a sort of red exo-skeletal suit with clamps and visible hydraulic pumps for the limbs. Carrying a large, three barreled shotgun, the helmeted male immediately shifted his gaze to Mira.

"AAAHHHHH! The murderer of non-explosions is here! Time for the atrocity!" Firing, a blast of buckshot ravaged her shields, the coloration flaring orange as she took cover behind a low pile of raw ore and steel. Returning fire, several of her rounds sparked off the engineer, gaining the attention of numerous accomplices.

The incoming fire was murderous, a symphony of lights and hellish noise among falling soot. Splashes of ice and acid flew, hitting her struggling shields on occasion. Rising over the pile of steel, Mira unleashed numerous rounds at the engineer, ruining several of the servos before ducking back down.

"I'm out of control!"

Shifting left, the female leaned out and shot at two smaller men, almost childlike in their sizes. Spraying weapon fire in a haphazard manner, several bullets struck one of the painted barrels, leaking hazardous fuel along the ashen ground. Quickly lobbing a grenade, Mira wasn't really concerned where it would land as her barriers revitalized themselves with a flicker.

"NOOO! I Can't reach that grenade in ti—"

An explosion rocked the encampment, ripping apart the first enemy and three close by as the leaking fuel burned bright. Pieces of limbs rained down, a severed head landing near Mira, her focus ignoring the object as she unleashed a full fusillade at a larger man, his body covered in metal bands. His rifle was large, spitting beams of laser light across the area as he grunted.

"Zoom…zoom light!"

"HEY! KILL THAT BANDIT FOR USING LASER WEAPONS! ONLY COMPLETE CANDY-ASS WIMPS USE LASER WEAPONS!" Torgue yelled from the communicator.

Dropping down to reload, the air burned with ozone and sizzling lances of light while three other men charged toward the lone woman from a darkened garage.

The buggy exploded at the entranceway in a roiling ball of shrapnel and flame, with two of the tires arching high into the sky on parabolic arcs along with the majority of the chassis.

"What the fuck!?"

A small image of Scooter appeared, the man rubbing the back of his head. "Ah yeah, that's my bad. I was supposed to blow it up with you inside for Mister Torgue? Uh…yeah, mind getting in anyway? Wait, it's already been done blown up I guess? Catch a rideee…? Yeah, I'm just gonna go back to looking at pictures of my cousin in my magazines. It's not weird"

"EXPLOSION! WOOOO!"

"Torgue, you're lucky I'm having…FUN!" Mira hollered out as she stood up among blasts of laser fire and shot the three charging men down with no sense of mercy.

"Ahhhh! My skin flesh! Ruined by….bullets…" the last flailed as Strauss charged at the armored man, her lancer chattering with a thunder of rounds. Laser blasts sizzled and popped against her shields, ruining them with a constant battery as the woman ran into a workshop, her form hugging the doorframe.

"Laser burn burn!" Blasts of red light smashed the metallic frame that protected Mira, the warping of metal easily seen from the heat.

The last man wandered near another barrel of explosive fuel, his sauntering gait slow and purposeful.

"Hmmp. Too easy" Shooting the barrel, it exploded in a wave of fire, consuming the large male like a screaming matchstick as he flailed from the agony of his flesh melting. Exiting the structure as the bandit fell to the ashen ground, Mira grinned at the victory…just as the gnarled remains of the destroyed buggy crashed down on her, killing her with crushing weight.

---

Mira reformed in the hamlet, her body and armor pixelating with reconstruction.

"WHAT KIND OF LAME DEATH WAS THAT!? GO BACK THERE AND KILL SOME SHIT!"

"Then don't try to murder me in my own car!" Mira shot back as some of her money drained for the Hyperion charge of a new life.

"THAT WOULD'VE BEEN BADASS!"

"Whatever. I'll go and get another damn buggy from that hillbilly" Leaving with a wave, Mira found another buggy waiting, Scooter still sitting in his chair while enjoying his dirty magazines.

"Heeeyyy…" He drawled while looking up, the harsh sun beating down on his hat. "I'm pretty sure I got all the bombs out of this new one? Unless some Hyperion robot planted more while I was distracted by these articles" Waving the magazine, the mechanic scowled. "Really wish I could read…"

Mira arrived at the worker yard half an hour later, the dead and charred bodies of the work force still scattered about. Collecting fallen piles of money and discarded weapons, Mira crossed the first footbridge that rose over the hellish heat of the slagged metals and magma. The main factory rose above her, resting on an outcropping of blackened hills and spiked outcrops of rocks. Belching smoke and continuous ash, the manufactory clanged with heavy industry.

However, she still needed to clear these outlaying camps first.

Gunfire raced and popped from another collection of buildings and furnaces, the hostile workforce coming out to maim and kill.

"Only we are the salvation! For the hammer of loss!"

Crouching down behind another pile of refuse and discarded metals, Mira could feel the absolute heat of the magma stream flowing behind her in the recessed channel. Only ten feet away, it would be easy to fall in.

At least there was a safety rail.

"The firehawk will protect us with her mercy of wrath!" A screaming bandit in coveralls roared. Covered in a vest of burning road flares, the man charged with three others as they fired a hellish fusillade of ice based weapons. The freezing rounds popped and hissed, their effectiveness to be desired as Mira returned fire. She killed the trio with efficiency, their deaths a hollow scream as the one wearing road flares burned alive. Retaking cover, more gunfire roared and snapped above her head from the fusillade.

"Time for some soldering, boys!" Letting out a maniacal laugh, another larger man lumbered out of a building, his body covered in a heavy smock. Wearing a square, welding helmet and thick gloves, he carried a massive blowtorch that burned with a blue flame.

"Yeah!"

"Fire!"

"Non-explosions!" Three midget welders howled, their hands gripping sticks of dynamite. Lumbering forward, more of the deranged workforce kept up a constant fire.

Mira blind fired, arcing tracers and snapping rounds filling the hellish air of soot and screaming madness. Two of the workers were maimed, one of them tripping and falling over a safety railing into the magma stream below.

"It…BURNS!" howling in a death throe as his skin torched, he begged for death.

Still, that left nearly a dozen of the enraged workforce pinning her down with a deadly barrage of rounds. A grenade boomed against her cover, spitting shrapnel and gaining laughter.

A worker ran around the pile of cover, his rifle spitting dozens of rounds. Some smashed against her shields, flaring them with red before the barriers shattered in a pulsing wave of fire.

The bandit who had been wearing all white screamed as the nova flames ate his suit and flesh, his arc welding helmet painted with a picture of Elfman and Lisanna. "ONLY I AM THE MIRA!"

"Shut the fuck up you moron! I'm the only Mira!" Gritting her teeth, she revved up her lancer chainsaw, plunging the churning blades into the maniac's shoulder. Blood spewed and flayed, chunks of red and gore splattering against the female's armor and exposed neck and cheeks. Finishing the execution, Mira retook cover as the surging bandits bayed and laughed. Her shields began to recharge, a slow buzzing of light and energy that surrounded her once more.

"THAT WAS AWESOME! MORE MAYHEM! FUCKING CHAINSAWS! YEEEEAHHHH!"

Mira looked up momentarily at the large, floating advertisement blimp, all the screens showing Mister Torgue or the unfolding mayhem of her job.

The observation was quickly broken as the gunfire picked up, the spitting hell of combat and howls familiar to Mira.

"We'll protect our factory for our un-named boss!" an engineer cried out, his words cut off as Mira put a burst through his helmet, killing him midstep.

It was all she could manage as another hail of grenades bombarded her position, shredding the air and ash with shrapnel.

The servos of an exoskeleton buzzed and whirred, bringing forth another engineer as he picked up a nearby barrel full of fuel.

"Once I kill you with this, I'm gonna drink it all!" Throwing the fifty gallon drum, the barrel ruptured, spilling gasoline that quickly ran toward the molten river of magma nearby. The heat and embers ignited the trail of fuel, engulfing half the encampment in fresh flames. Two men were lit up, their flesh cooking with a horrid crackle as they accidentally stepped into the inferno.

"I still haven't soldered her face to her pants!" Flicking his blowtorch, the large worker paced back and forth, trying to find a way to reach the female as his entourage fired, their tiny screams mixing with the battle.

"Enough of these genetic rejects" Strauss whispered as she brought up the screen of her weapon storage device. Quickly scrolling and selecting the appropriate weapon, a grenade launcher soon constructed itself in her hands.

It was simple in design with a single barrel and an eight shell rotating cylinder. Pressing it to her shoulder and standing up in one swift motion, Mira fired at the closest enemy.

The crump was familiar and loud, blowing an engineer away, his legs a gnarled ruin. Shifting her aim as several bullets impacted her shields, Mira unleashed grenade after grenade. Fire and shrapnel exploded across the camp, consuming the enemy in flowers of fire and hate. Bodies and pieces of tiny men flew, their cries of anguish music to Mira's ears as her weapon clicked the final round into place.

"Time for torching and welding you bitch!"

The big man ran through the wall of flame, stepping over the strewn entrails of several midgets. His torch burned bright, a heat that could melt steel.

Mira shot him with her last grenade, the round bursting against his chest. Shrapnel and wounds bled from the damage, but the man only howled in rage.

"Dammit! What are you made of, steel!?" she shouted while frantically pulling her Boltok from her hip holster.

"Momma gave me thick skin! Now I'll melt yours!" Lunging, the blowtorch flame elongated, searing Mira's ravaged shields…then breaking through. She howled in agony as the fire seared half her face into slagged ruin, the flesh bubbling and burning.

"DIIIEE!" the burning woman howled in rage, agony and hate, putting five rounds into the man's head. Crumpling in collapse, his weight pushed her over the nearby railing into the flowing river of molten magma, ending her current life in a scream.

Mira reformed in the hamlet once more, her recent wounds and burned flesh gone like nothing happened. Money pulled out of her account, a miniscule amount.

"YOU TOTALLY GOT YOUR FACE MELTED OFF BY A FUCKING BADASS! YEAH!"

"Ugh, that last one totally sucked! Stupid…blowtorch man…" Mira huffed in annoyance. Not from dying, but from the fact she had to travel all the way to that damn forge again…and talk with Scooter.

"If you need ammo or new guns! Go to those vending machines!" Torgue pointed, his bulky muscles rippling in the falling light of approaching night.

"Makes sense I suppose" Walking over to one of the vending machines, a prerecorded message spoke from the one with pictures of ammo. "No refunds"

Cocking her eye at the statement, Mira began to sell the weapons she had collected previously, quickly re-earning what she had lost.

"Oh hey, you died again? But your still alive so that's…cool? Yeah…cool…So uh…think you could wear a bikini for me? I'll only stare a bit"

Mira briefly thought about it, then promptly slapped the side of her head. No way in hell would she pose for that inbred hillbilly.

Finding herself back at the forge within the hour, Mira walked through the encampments ravaged by battle and flame. Ash and soot continued to fall from the dirty night sky, only enhanced by the flickering flames of forges and furnaces leading up to the main factory.

A static filled video window appeared before her, the floating box stopping her mid-step.

"HEY! I'm the leader and I say that this factory won't be destroyed! Not only have I taken this bomb from Torgue, but I set it so it only detonates if I die! That can't possibly backfire in the near future!"

"Right. Like that won't happen" Mira grinned as she climbed a small series of steps to the main factory. Blast furnaces almost melted the air around her, their oppressive heat rising as several workers tended to them…then promptly turned.

"Hey! She's trying to get in our factory! Burn her with our rods!" A man yelled, his gloved hands picking up a shaft of metal still glowing hot.

"Burn!"

"I bought my gun from Marcus!"

"Claptrap told me to do it!"

"Time to stoke your fire…sexually! HAHAHAHAH—"

Mira shot that last one first, her gnasher pumping a full shell into his helmeted face. Exploding like a ripe melon, she quickly turned as multiple men charged from around her.

The first crazed man swung, the rod of glowing heat slamming against Mira's shields with a flare of rippling energy. A following blast of buckshot hit her in the back, the tiny beads spreading out in a cone of damage.

Racking a fresh shell, she fired again, blowing the leg off of a random assailant as he fell, screaming.

"My eyes are filled to the brim!" Crushing his head in a curb stomp, Mira staggered as another cone of buckshot hit her shields, the energy flaring with red. Spinning, her eyes flashed anger as the engineer tried to fire again.

"HEADSHOT!" Mira yelled with glee as the enemy's upper torso, including his head exploded into a fine paste. Reeling as the last man began to club her with a hammer, Strauss kicked him in the groin….hard.

"AHHHH! My fun cherries!"

"Shut the fuck up and burn!" the mage yelled, grabbing the man by his coat collar while pushing him into a nearby blast furnace.

"AHHH! This makes my last sentence meaningless!" the worker howled as he cooked among the searing coils and slag.

"Blow up that furnace! DO IT! BLOW IT UP!"

"Nope! I'm gonna blow up everything at once instead" Mira told Torgue, the man's wails floating through the communications.

"DO YOU EVEN CONSIDER YOURSELF A BADASS MUTHAFUCKA!? OR HAVE YOU GONE SOFT WITH LITERACY!?"

"What does reading have to do w—"

"YOU'RE TALKING WITH TOO MANY SYLLABLE'S! THE POINT IS THAT ANTI-EXPLOSION WEAKLING IS HIDING IN MY FACTORY! GO BLOW UP MORE SHIT WHILE I RIFF THIS SWEET GUITAR SOLO!"

True to his word, Torgue began playing a heavy metal riff, bringing music to Mira as she advanced.

Making sure to reload, she started up the final steps to the main factory door which had been left open. To the left was a few vending machines and a New-U array, the light blinking a steady green as Mira re-equipped her lancer.

"Why did all the random guns I found have to suck? They were terrible! Why couldn't I have found a super rare one?" Sighing at the lack of loot, Mira entered the factory as rock and roll floated around her.

A scoped rifle leaned against the wall, tucked between a few lockers. Glancing around, the hostile workers hadn't noticed her yet as they walked along elevated catwalks and among the labyrinth of machinery of the work floor.

Picking up the sniper rifle, a description in purple letters suddenly appeared, giving its information.

Headsploder

-Go head. Blow up some heads.

Damage: 899

Accuracy: 75%

Handling: 64%

Reload Time: 2.5s

Magazine Size: 10

"Jakobs huh? This one looks good" Hefting the weapon, Mira slowly crouched and walked toward a low wall of sheet metal. Peering through the scope, the factory floor was crawling with enemies, easily numbering fifty hostiles of varying sizes, equipment and armor. Some rippled with shields, walking back and forth between the maze of conveyor belts that still churned out guns.

Two large, leather clad men carried riot shields…with midgets strapped to the front in some form of diabolical armor. Each carried a large rifle with a sharpened bayonet, adding to the threat.

Mira could hear the squeals of those tiny, insane murderers as they tried to escape their bonds, but she didn't care about them in the slightest.

At the back past all the crazed workforce and bandits was a large arrow pointing down into the darkness of an open hole in the floor, the lights blinking furiously. Surrounding the pit was several pikes with severed heads and skulls, adding to the horror of these people.

It was something she had seen before, a fact that really wouldn't faze her at this point in her life. Recentering the scoped rifle on the large arrow and words above it, Strauss gave a derisive scoff.

Enemy Boss Room

"Really? They advertise it?"

The two way comms crackled with a hiss as Torgue stopped playing his guitar.

"What are you waiting around for!? Go in there and maim those bandits and waste my former workforce!"

The factory wide intercom crackled, Torgue's voice become louder and more pronounced as several of the enemy looked upward in question.

"LISTEN UP YOU WORTHLESS SKAG-MEAT! MIRA THE FUCKING WOMANLY BADASS IS HERE TO BLOW UP YOUR SHIT AND MURDER YOU ALL BECAUSE YOUR TOO FUCKING LAZY! STOP STANDING AROUND AND KILL EACH OTHER! YYYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHH!"

"Hey! I heard the enemy near the entrance! Let's go check it out and shoot our guns!"

"Time to rip open her belly and dance in her chest cavity…with hop-scotch!"

"AIIIIEEEEE!"

"You ass! I was trying to be sneaky!" Mira yelled as she fired her new sniper rifle at the nearest enemy. The bandits upper body quiet literally exploded with bits of gore and brain flowing outward in a grotesque blast, showering a few nearby guards in gore. Arms and shoulder meat flew in a horrid splatter, leaving the legs and blood covered abdominals swaying near a smoldering barrel of slag.

"SHE HAS THE HEADSPLODER! GET HER!"

"Mira's the villain from our perspective!"

"Levy gave me naked pictures of her!"

"The Happy was super lazy yesterday!"

Men charged with bats, clubs and machetes, nearly ten of them bouncing and screaming with fire protective gear as the rest began to lay down a horrific barrage of bullets and explosive blasts from their numerous positions.

"Dammit!" Strauss uttered in contempt and hatred. Firing her newly found sniper rifle again, the stock kicked against her shoulder as the leg of the nearest man disintegrated into a red mist. Working the bolt as he howled and clutched the grievous wound, Mira fired again, killing a knife wielding midget that completely disintegrated.

Ducking down as bullets snapped and slammed into her minimal cover, she quickly threw a grenade and switched to her Lancer. It exploded among a trio of men, blowing them apart into limb flailing ruin. Firing a long burst, tracers burned across the factory, killing another two maniacs as they taunted and screamed.

Staggering explosive fire from one of the riot shield users blasted her cover, a howling madness as her shields flared from just the splash damage. Tinkling sounds of falling grenades tumbled past the low wall, resting near Mira's feet as her eyes momentarily widened.

"SHIT!" Sprinting up, the woman ran toward a staircase on the right hand side of the factory just as ripping shrapnel and steel flooded the air behind her.

As luck would have it, some of those shards tore into a fuel barrel, causing a fresh chain reaction of explosions that ripped apart few of the hostile workers. Fireballs of napalm rose along the left side of the factory, the flames washing over several other bandits as they screamed and flailed with flesh on fire.

"I am part of the forge!" A man screamed with his skin on fire. Jumping into one of the furnaces, he cooked himself alive as more explosions and gun fire ripped through the cavernous room.

"YYYYEEAAH! JUST LIKE HOW MY MOM USED TO BLOW UP COOKIES!"

An engineer stood at the top of the steel mesh steps, brandishing his shotgun. "Time. For. SLAUGH—"

"EAT SHIT AND DIE!" Mira roared out, her chainsaw buzzing with hungry teeth. Plunging into his shoulder, blood sprayed among tearing leathers and flesh, filling his mouth with screams.

"I…WASN'T DONE!"

"THAT SHOULD BE ILLIGAL FOR HOW AWESOME IT IS!"

Ripping through the chest cavity, Mira dove into cover at the top, the guard railing lined with metal paneling. Several machinery parts lay stacked to her direct front, creating a small 'L' that she used to stay alive. Bullets screamed above her head, impacting and sparking off metals while more men below kept up a constant barrage.

A bandit worker rose from the next collection of barrels and cover twenty feet away, his shoulder supporting a large rocket launcher that shimmered with an azure blue. "Time for some…flesh puppets to dance!"

Mira fired around the side of her tiny bastion, hitting the man in the throat just as he pulled the trigger. Flailing, a rocket shot toward the roof then spun around uncontrolled before colliding with one of the massive engineers and his midget lined shield.

The tiny humans died among blooming ice and deadly shards while the behemoth staggered, his wounds seeping red.

"My…MIDGETS! AAAUUURGGH!"

Mira popped up, putting a round from Headsploder through his throat…which resulted in another explosion of blood and bone. Working the bolt as acid and ice rounds smattered her place of cover, Mira sprinted low and fast to the next piece of cover, the enemy still firing in a frantic, non-caring manner.

Staying in a crouch as the rocket wielder lay still in a puddle, a hellish fusillade of machine gun rounds erupted from an elevated crane room further along the walkway. Sitting in the direct middle of her advance, it opened to the far side as well that allowed more of the enemy to pour in and secure it.

There had to be at least ten of the insane workers in there, each taking up a position and firing with extreme violence.

Strauss grabbed the abandoned rocket launcher, quickly hefting it with a smirk while she aimed at the control room.

"Time for an explosion you insane bastards!" Mira shouted over the thundering noise of combat. Squeezing the trigger, the weapon staggered with kickback as the ice rocket flew toward the crane room.

"Time for me to die!" A lone bandit managed to yell out just as the room exploded in ice, the shards ripping men apart as their frozen remains fell to the floor below with a shatter.

"AN ICE EXPLOSION!? THAT SHOULDN'T BE SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE!"

"Who cares!" Mira shouted in response as she swung the weapon downward toward the remaining behemoth engineer. He was approaching the staircase, the shield weighed down by midgets. Turning and firing a burst of rounds, several struck her flickering shield just as she fired the last rocket.

It burned hard and fast, killing the fiend in another blast of exploding ice that cratered the floor.

Tossing it aside, only a few men were left as they began taking potshots from their locations in the factory. Pressing Headsploder to her shoulder, Strauss eyed the first man below, his form ducking behind some pipes and machinery.

The following rifle shot blew his arm off, the spurting gore flowing as he flailed and screamed.

Taking the next target, Mirajane began to work through the survivors methodically, killing them one at a time until none remained.

"Hey! Were you just killing my whole workforce that mutinied against Torgue? I heard gunshots and ice explosions from my super secret lair!"

Mira scoffed at the static filled comm window, simply stepping forward as the unseen man taunted her.

"All dead? Then I'll just use my degree in murderology to kill you! And even if I lose, I'll just jump into my rocket launch escape car! And don't you dare think of using it to escape!"

"HEY! GET DOWN THERE AND BLOW UP THAT BOMB! OR DO YOU WANT ME TO BE LESS IMPRESSED WITH YOU!?"

"Are you both trying to piss me off!? Fuck, just give me a minute!" Mira relayed as she reloaded and checked equipment. Once that was done, she approached the blinking sign and cavernous hole that led to the lair below. Skulls and corpses decorated the opening, the stink of rancid blood and buzzing flies grotesque among the metallic air and soot.

"Meh. Not like I have to worry about dying for the next few days" she shrugged before jumping into the hole.

The surface was rough and pitted metals, the coloration dark and flaked with rust as she slid down to the chamber below. Landing in a crouch with one knee bent, Mira slowly rose, taking in the full space of the room.

It was a cavernous square room with several large, round supporting pillars keeping the roof above standing. Several bodies of bandits, workers or simple innocents hung halfway up their length, their lives long since snuffed out as flies and maggots feasted. The walls were a dirty grime of cracking cinderblocks and cement, nearly all of it tagged in graffiti or tattered posters. Several clear magma tubes gave the room an orange, natural light, their path leading to a single use rocket car sitting on some mine cart tracks at the back.

These were the observations Mira took in at a practiced glance, her gaze finally resting on the large, spherical bomb of destruction in the center of the room. Standing on top of a raised platform right behind it was a massive, muscular bared chested man with numerous scars. Long, flowing blonde hair billowed behind him as he hefted two mini-guns, the six barreled weapons easily wielded in each hand as he laughed.

"So! You think I'll let you blow up MY factory after I stole it fair and square? NO WAY I'LL LET TORGUE BLOW IT UP WITH HIS AWESOME ROCK AND ROLLLLLLL! TIME TO FIGHT WITH NO EXPLOSIONS! YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Rearing his head back while cocking his twin gatlings, words flashed above the boss, introducing him to the world.

GunHercules!

That's Gun + Hercules! Plus, did you see the hair?"

"TIME FOR SOME BULLLETS!"

Mira's eyes widened as the gatling barrels began to spin and whine, only adding to the situation as a shimmering shield of blue surrounded the bandit boss. Crackling with energy, it became a dome around him and the bomb.

"Oh…crap" Running toward the nearest support column, she barely made it in time as a hail of rounds screamed like hail. Tracers pinged and ricocheted off the massive tower of metal, sparking as the man laughed.

"FINALLY, A BOSS FIGHT! THE LACK OF ACTION WAS MAKING ME BORED!"

Mira clutched Headsploder, waiting for an opportunity as a stream of bullets flew past. A quick attempt at studying her enemy was crushed as three rounds smashed against her shields, the hip mounted generator blaring at a mere ten percent.

"Okay…so we wait for him to reload"

"I DON'T NEED TO RELOAD YET!" Screaming with laughter, the rate of fire increased to a sharp, ripping sound as the deadly hail sparked and snapped past her tiny, island of safety.

Mira clicked her tongue at that statement, knowing she really couldn't stay here. Throwing a fragmentation grenade a few seconds later, the orb landed near the shimmering dome of shielding while Gunhercules kept up a hellish stream of heavy rounds.

It rippled as shrapnel impacted the barrier, momentarily stunning the bandit's eyesight as he flinched. Halting his onslaught as he blinked to dislodge the spots clouding his vision, Mira moved. Running while firing, her new rifle hammered against those strong shields, each round causing a ripple of energy. Managing to use all ten rounds in the magazine, Strauss barely made it to the next place of cover.

"THAT WASN'T LIKE ROCK AND ROLL AT ALLLL! NOT COOOOOL!" Howling with madness, his twin miniguns began to spit flame and rounds, creating another hell of battle.

Reloading her weapon with practiced motions, Mira snarled in low level fury. "Damn, that barely did anything!" Switching her lancer with her grenade launcher from earlier, Mira had the feeling only heavier weapons would work against this guy.

"THIS IS MADNESS! WHO KNEW THAT THIS SUPER BADASS TORGUE SHIELD WOULD BE USED BY MY FORMER FACTORY MANAGER AFTER HE BETRAYED ME!? IT WAS COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED!"

Mira took that screaming statement in stride as she threw a flashbang toward the gatling gun mad-man, her shields taking a few hits.

"I'M GONNA USE YOUR BODY FOR FURNACE FUEL, BABY!"

The flashbang blew with a surge of light and noise, the tiny cylinder stunning the boss as he tried to rub his eyes. Not letting go of his twin wielded gatling cannons, the relief was minimal as he flailed about on his platform.

"YO! I CAN'T RUB MY EYES BECAUSE OF MY AWESOME WEAPONS! HELP ME OUT!"

"Like hell I will! You just threatened to use me as furnace fuel!" Mira yelled as she broke cover. Firing the first grenade, the weapon thumped against her shoulder with a heavy kick. Blowing up against Gunhercules shields, Mira fired again and again as the eight round cylinder rotated steadily. Rippling blasts of fire and shards crawled over the flickering shield, the damage evident.

Rushing to the next pillar of safety among the cavernous room, Mira staggered as Gunhercules fired blindly, the bandit not caring what he hit as he howled with recovering eyesight.

Her shields dropped to less than fifty percent with those two hits registered. Standing up to catch her breath, a renewed torrent of chaingun rounds tore and sparked around her in a cacophony of madness.

"YOU KNOW WHAT!? INSTEAD OF USING YOU FOR FUEL, I'LL USE YOUR BODY FOR ITS PROPER USE BY ME AND MY MEN!"

"Ugh, here it comes. The threat of rape or sexual slavery…" Mira sighed, having heard countless bandits, villains and slavers across countless worlds threaten her with that particular fate.

"THAT RIGHT! WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOU COOK IN OUR KITCHEN WHERE YOU BELONG! I WANT A PLATE OF BARBEQQQUUUE WINGGGGGS!"

"HEY! TREATING WOMEN WITH RESPECT IS THE MOST BADASS THING EVER! REGULATING MIRA TO KITCHEN WORK IS NOT COOL! MIRA! GET ENRAGED!"

"YOU ASSHOLE! I'M NOT SOME DOCILE HOUSEWIFE! COOK YOUR OWN DAMN MEALS!" Mire howled in female fury at the sexist statement.

It would've been better for Gunhercules if he had just threatened to use her body.

Throwing another flash-bang around the supporting pillar as more heavy rounds sparked and screamed, Mira made sure Headsploder was nice and ready for action. The grenade blew, a thunderclap of noise and light that made the enemy scream as his eyes were assaulted.

"NOOOO! NOT AGAIN! MY EYES ARE MY ONLY WEAKNESS!"

Mira ran out, her boots crunching a blanket of spent brass as Gunhercules flailed and stomped atop his elevated platform. Refusing to release his twin cannons, he once again tried to rub and clear his eyes with no success.

Headsploder snapped rounds at the flickering shields, each bullet rippling and taking more energy. Working the bolt, she managed to fire four more times before her opponent managed to blink the stunned effects away. Taking cover at yet another pillar of safety, Mira easily heard the rotating cylinders starting to warm up once more.

Leaning out, she managed another shot, the sniper round the last straw as the dome of energy collapsed like breaking glass.

"NNNNOOOOO! I WON'T LET YOU EXPLODE ANYTHING IN MY DOMAIN!" His chain guns spat fire, a renewed hell of tracers and death that would chew Mirajane to pieces in seconds. Yanking her head back, several heavy rounds sparked and furrowed where she had just stood.

Reloading her rifle with practiced fingers among a sea of empty brass casings, Mira flinched as the rate of gunfire increased to a ripping roar of lead. If she could see Gunhercules right now, his dual chain cannons were glowing hot, just adding to the mayhem as he laughed and laughed.

"TIME FOR SOME RANDOM ENEMIES!" Stomping his foot on a nearby pedal, panels above the clear magma tubes around the room slid open, disgorging fresh bandits and engineers to help in the battle. They fell in a tangle of limbs and bodies, trying to free themselves as random gunshots and stabbings occurred.

Mira knew that once they did, she'd probably be shot to pieces just by some random, no name enemy. Glancing upward at that clear tubing that showed sliding rivers of magma within, she raised her rifle.

"This…is probably a bad idea"

Squeezing the trigger, the material fissured with a crack…then exploded, causing a wave of magma to fall on the pile of bandits, burning them alive beneath the slag. Twisting to aim leftward, Mira did the same again, causing irreparable damage to the tubes as more roiling magma flowed onto the floor.

"MY BOSS LAIR! WHY DID I INSIST ON MAGMA TUBES FOR DECORATIONS!?" Gunzerker yelled in a question as he momentarily stopped firing, watching his underlings burn alive while the sea of molten rock began to creep along the floor.

"Finally you stopped shooting!" Mira grinned as she ran out, Headsploder pressed hard to her shoulder. She squeezed the trigger, sending a heavy round to smash the enemy's right shoulder. He screamed in pain from the sudden wound, his massive muscles no doubt flaring with agony as he tried to hold his weapon. Working the bolt as she moved, Mira fired again with better aim, putting a bullet through Gunhercules head. It exploded, along with his lower neck in a gristle of spraying bone, ending his life in a second. Falling forward on his elevated platform, the corpse disgorged money, weapons, and loot.

"Hell yeah!" Quickly climbing the small step ladder to the platform, Mira hastily began to take everything she could while occasionally glancing at the encroaching sea of magma. Scanning weapons into her storage device, she would decide what to keep later. Hopping down the other side, Mira landed near the timer and control panel for this large bomb.

A complicated layout of dials, buttons, and readings greeter her, and she really didn't have the time to decipher it all.

"Eh, fuck it" Shooting the panel with her rifle, the bullet gouged through, creating a hail of sparks and damage. A timer began to count down on the left, showing barely thirty seconds, but Mira was already sprinting to the rocket sled escape car.

Climbing in, there were no safety straps, just an old seat that had been welded to the chassis of an old mine cart that pointed upward along a track to an opening in the wall. Several rocket pods were attached to the back, painted with racing flames.

Taking one last look at Gunhercules and the ocean of magma filing the room, it was already at the foot of the massive bomb.

"Yup, time to go!" Mira yelled loudly as she slammed a palm against the ignition button. The rockets flared to life, their noise and heat a combustion of chemicals as she was slammed in the seat by the sudden G-forces. Flying along the track, the minecart rocked and shook along a pillar of flame. Jetting out the side of a low, craggy mountain, the bomb exploded behind her, creating a backblast of air pressure, noise, and fire that followed.

The Forge exploded in a mushroom cloud of destruction, the factory and mountain falling in on itself. Something that half of Pandora would feel as magma and raining embers of molten rock began to rain down on the nearby landscape.

"AAHHHHH! SHIT!" Mira screamed as her ride literally rode a wave of fuel and fire, directly on a course with that flying blimp that had showing her battles. Pushing herself up, she really had to time this right as she drew closer and closer. Jumping at the right moment, she flung herself toward a dangling rope, barely catching it as her rocket sled smashed into a commercial of Claptrap dancing. The rocket fire spread outward from the impact, already burning the exterior as twisted metals popped and creaked.

The blimp groaned in protest as the fire spread to the pilot house, trapping the man inside as multiple jets of fire roared out, creating a flying hell as Mira managed to climb on top. Standing like a surfer, she rode the stricken craft as it began to dive and turn, heading directly to the small hamlet she had started from.

Below, a few bandits shot at the blimp, mainly just to be complete dicks as more pieces fell off or were burned, hastening the free fall.

Trailing smoke, ash and pluming fire, the blimp nosedived into a building at the edge of town a minute later, killing the marauders inside. Mira jumped off at the last possible moment, her body hitting and rolling against the roof. Shields flaring and her teeth rattled, she was pushed off the roof by the kinetic energy of the impact and her jump. Falling over the edge, she barely managed to land on her feet in the middle of the road as searing dust, ash and soot rained down around her.

Mister Torgue ran up, his signature sunglasses, massive muscles and flowing mane of hair easily recognizable.

"THAT. WAS. FUCKING AWESOME! TOTALLY FUCKING BADASS! NOT ONLY DID YOU BLOW UP MY FACTORY, BUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOUNTAIN! AND YOU FLEW A MINECART INTO MY BLIMP! YYYYYEEEAAHHHHH! FUCKING EXPLOSIONS! MAYHEM! FUCK YEAHHHHHHH!" Slapping a massive hand on Mira's back in congratulations, Torgue flexed his pecs in respect.

"YOU ARE NOW THE THIRD MOST BADASS WOMAN ON THE PLANET! ONLY LILITH AND MAD MOXXI CAN COMPARE! AND ONE OF THEM CAN MELT PEOPLE WITH HER MIND WHILE SETTING THEM ON FIRE! YYYYEEAHHHH! THIS MAKES ME WANT TO FLY AROUND IN MY MONSTER SPACE TRUCK!"

"Third most badass on the planet…pretty awesome!" Mira jumped for joy, her smile radiating mirth. Looking back, the plume of fire still glowed from the Forge, its volcanic eruption destroying everything there as the blimp burned nearby, its gnarled and twisted metals popping and hissing with damage.

Glancing down at her dimension reader and the universal coordinates, Mirajane found she still had nearly three days here.

"NOW MIRA! LET'S GET THIS LAST PART OF THE COMMERCIAL SHOT! THEN, I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO PISTON AT MY BADASS AREAN OF MAYHEM! I SERIOUSLY DOUBT HE'LL BETRAY YOU THE FIRST CHANCE HE GETS WHEN YOU TEAM UP TO FIND THE VAULT IN THE BADASS CRATER OF BADASSITUDE! WOOOOOOOO!"

"A vault you say?" Mira asked, her interest piqued.

"THAT! OR YOU CAN GO TO SANCTUARY AND SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING!"

Mira was kinda pumped up. After all, she did just blow up a mountain and a whole factory. Why would she sit around doing nothing? "FUCK THAT! I WANT TO BLOW SOME SHIT UP!"

"IF YOUR GONNA BLOW SHIT UP, YOU NEED ANOTHER AWESOME GUN! TIME FOR YOUR REWARD! YYEEEAH!" Looking upward as the morning sky glowed, a pinprick of light could be observed getting larger and larger by the second. Burning on a wave of fire, the weapon drop pod screamed during re-entry with a howl before impacting a nearby building. The roof collapsed as some of Torgue's biker boys were killed among the falling rubble, not that Mira or Mister Torgue cared as the pod skidded to a halt before the two.

"DEVLIVERING WEAPONS WHILE DESTROYING YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD IS THE ONLY WAY! CHECK IT OUUUUUTT! YEAAAAHHHH!"

Mira smirked, kicking the latch open as the ticking pod glowed with a horrid heat. The top sprung open, flinging away. Inside was a pile of money surrounding a six cylinder handgun with red lines along the barrel.

"It looks like my Boltok" Strauss told herself as she picked it up, reading the data specs as they appeared in a small window.

Spicy Boltok

-Put some sauce on it!

Damage: 403

85% additional bonus damage from rocket jets and cluster bullets!

Accuracy: 68%

Handling: 80%

Reload Time: 3.1 seconds

Capacity: Six

"TEST IT OUT AND BE FUCKING IMPRESSED!"

Spinning the weapon in her hand like a cowgirl, Mira aimed her new handgun at a random building nearby. Squeezing the trigger, the barrel erupted in a flash of fire as the bullet flew on a burning trajectory before breaking apart into three smaller bullets…then promptly exploded against the nearby wall. It crumbed under the onslaught as Mira laughed like a madwoman, pulling the trigger again. More tiny rocket bullets flew out and split, creating a fresh hellstorm of fire and ash.

"THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME! Its like a handheld rocket launcher!"

"BADASS WOMEN DESERVE BADASS WEAPONS! NOW LET'S GO MEET PISTON SO HE CAN NOT BETRAY YOU LATER TODAY! ALSO! I NEED YOU TO HUNT DOWN AND KILL THE PEOPLE THAT ARE USING MY SPECIAL TORGUE TOBASCO SAUCE! IF YOU DON'T, THEY'LL DIE!"

"Hell yeah! I'm down for some carnage!" Mira grinned as she followed the massive man down the dusty road.

With that, Mira would fight in the arena, get betrayed by Piston the first chance he got, and find the vault with its mountains of loot while her Torgue sponsored commercial played all across Pandora, proclaiming how much better she was than Erza.

So, it was fun to write this chapter despite it being mostly Borderlands 2 haha. And I have to say, Torgue is probably one of the craziest characters in the game. But with this part done, I'll start the second portion for Erza and Levy soon! Also, If you have an idea for a possible boss battle for Levy or Erza, let me know. I do have the ideas for their missions, but no boss ideas yet so if you want to make a pitch, go ahead!

Also, yes, I realize that this doesn't follow the game perfectly. But then, so what? I still had fun writing it and hopefully, you readers will enjoy it too!

Anyway, This is The Happy signing off!