Chapter 24 – Happiness

-Mihawk-

"You definitely look breathtaking."
He did not turn around at the words of his well-minded housekeeper behind his back and he did not reply to her comment, while regarding his reflection.

He could already see by himself that his black tie fit him perfectly and did not affect his picture in a negative way.

"Loreen and you will be the couple of the night."
Now he looked at her in the mirror, without responding however.

With calm movements he tried to put on his cufflinks.

"Oh, you never learned how to do this on your own."

Kanan scolded him softly and took his family heirlooms. She needed less than ten seconds to put them on, while he had tried it already for several minutes.

"Is our guest's fitting over?"

He did not look at her, did not want her to read in his eyes.

"Not yet. Shakuyak is teaching her how do to the girly things in a dress and how to scratch her nose under the mask. They chased me outside." The older lady sounded somewhat annoyed.

"Now you know how I always feel." He answered without any compassion.

"So they get along?" He murmured. His own experiences with Kanan's cheeky sister were not the best, she could be quite troublesome.

"They are the new bosom buddies." The lady growled in a sigh.

He stepped back a little and gave her the opportunity to regard him, before she nodded satisfied.

"Arm's and leg's lengths are perfect. The shoulders lay on just right. How is your movement, Sire?"

Like on cue he moved into dance position. It felt like his body remembered a long forgotten ritual; he was almost expecting the hands of his former nanny, who used to reach out for him years and years ago to dance around some ridiculous turns through the room. But while the wide smile of the housekeeper filled his memories, he lowered his arms quickly and turned around.
"All good." He answered coolly.

"Sire?" She asked and he knew that she remembered as well, remembered his long forgotten past, when she had prepared his younger, naïve self for his very first Navy Ball.

"Please guide our guest into the training room after the fitting. We only have short time left and a lot to do."
He interrupted her, before she could remember him of those better times and left his bedroom into the bathroom without even waiting for her answer.

Few minutes later came back, wearing his normal clothes, and put his west over the simple shirt. He walked down the corridor, putting his hair and collar straight. He was already mad at himself about what had happened. Unwanted emotions were useless and nothing else than a waste of time. But he could not hinder that they whispered beyond his cold surface and urged to break through. Before he knew what he was actually doing, he found himself in his office, holding the mouthpiece of his ancient transponder snail.

After four or five seconds a bored "Cho" answered.

"Good afternoon, Jirou" He greeted his childhood friend and asked himself at the same time why he was calling him. There was no information or news they needed to share.

"Geez, Hawky. Didn't expect you calling today." The rear admiral laughed in his usual happy and curious tone. "So, my dear feared Shichibukai, how may I help you on this lovely day?" The other one was obviously making fun of him. But he really had no idea what he wanted.

Mihawk sighed. "How is it possible, that every time I call you, you have nothing to do? Are you actually working there or just taking one nap after another?"
The man on the other end of the line laughed not feeling insulted at all.

"Quite the contrary my friend. I'm already done with all my work and only have to wait for my appointment with Vice Admiral Vergo."
The Shichibukai paused. "Why do you have an appointment with G-5's Commandant?"
Somehow this little piece of information worried him. But Jirou did not seem to be. His wide grin was perfectly mirrored by his old transponder snail.

"You know that we have some staff issues since…" His childhood friend started but he interrupted him immediately.

"Jirou, why do you meet Vergo?" His voice was stern, no joke allowed and he knew that the rear admiral understood.

"They've a position as a Vice Admiral at the G-5 and Gat proposed me."
He did not answer, but could not stop the corners of his mouth to drop even lower than usual. He did not like, when his old man tried to open doors for him or his friend. They did not need him, not any longer and his pride despised his father's help.

"If Vice Admiral Vergo can imagine working with me, I will become his deputy by next month."
For a moment he thought in silence. This meant the war was supposed to be over within this following month, because the Navy was already organizing what would follow afterwards. At least they hoped it would be over by then and won by then.

So Jirou would leave in four weeks. Because it was impossible that someone would not want to work with him. His childhood friend was a true role model when it came to diligence, respect and working morale, although his friendly goofiness and his never ending happiness could be annoying.

"But why would you want to switch positions? The G-5 is not really known for its friendly environment."
He already knew the answer before even asking.

"Well you know a little bit more money is never a downside." The other one explained a little bit hurt. "And as you know age doesn't spare any of us. I have to think about my retirement at some time as well."

Mihawk sighed. "You just turned forty-one and forgive me if I am mistaken, but I thought your family is almost as wealthy as mine, so what are you talking about money?"

The other one did not answer.

"And what about Lirin? If you leave Suzuno you have to leave Sadao as well and I cannot imagine her leaving her hometown."

Now it was the other one who sighed.

"It's time for a change Hawky." Jiroushin sounded tired. "As you know a war is about to…"
"Jirou, what's wrong?"

Once again his friend tried to avoid his question, which was quite unusual for him and this was even more worrisome.

The transponder snail sighed for another time, deeper than before.

"We're tired, Hawky. Lirin is scared of the war, scared that I might not return home. She needs a future to look forward to. I want to give us another chance for happiness. We have to restart somewhere else, far away from all those paining memories. It's over."

There was nothing he could say against that. His friend had lived years and years for only one dream, having children. But an incident years ago had taken its heavy toll on his wife and weakened her that much, that the doctors said it would be impossible for her to expect a child. For years they had traveled the world, searching for healers, doctors, and hospitals in order to help them.

Lirin's family would never allow an adoption, a family member without the same blood was unacceptable and because Jirou had always been a family man, he would never dare to destroy it, so they had to go, he had to give up his dream and they had to start a new life.

"If this is the best thing for you and Lirin to do, you should go ahead." He said what a friend had to say. He did not need to explain to Jirou what this would mean for their home islands, he would not place that responsibility on the other one's shoulders. As long as he was carrying the title of a Shichibukai, those islands would be safe and there was nothing to worry about.

"Time for a change." He whispered, but the rear admiral laughed again, like the topic was too serious for him.

"You're right, the G-5 will be a little bit tougher than my peaceful work here. Vergo will make sure of that, I know. But now that I know that you're in good company, I'm fine with leaving."

"Excuse me?" He did understand the other one just fine, he did not miss a single word or meaning behind it. He was simply giving the other one an opportunity to rephrase his comment.

"Hawky, why did you call me?" The other one asked instead.

He paused for a moment. A good counter, he had to admit it.

"You know that I need more information about the war meeting I got invited to, so…"
"Na, not gonna believe that." His friend smirked. "I guess a Shichibukai is better informed than some low Rear Admiral like me. You're not the only one, who can think outside the box, Hawky."

"What do you mean?" He asked cold. Jirou laughed.

"I know the exact reason you called me. And I know that you don't."

It was one of few times where the other one showed such a daring voice, but the worst thing was, that he was completely right.

"You should precede with caution from now on, Jiroushin." He would not lower his guard.

"You see! You see!" He could see Jirou in front of his inner eye, jumping up and yelling at the transponder snail, scaring the hell out of all his colleagues.

"If you start like that, you feel cornered."

"Jirou."
"Fine, fine. I tell you." He made a dramatic pause. "She's the reason."

He did not need to ask, he knew immediately that the other one meant no one else but his tomboy.

"Hawky, you must have noticed it. All those decades you were nothing but a grumpy coeval. Your dark look, your serious way, your could-hearted mind, you haven't changed for years. And now this little girl shows up and you alter within a couple of days, until I can't almost recognize you. It feels like you can finally let go, like you are ready to wipe the slate clean."

They were silent. He did not know what he should say, what he could say. He was really out of words.

"Change is good, Hawky. And she is good for you. I'm still a little bit worried because of her age, but if she truly makes you happy I will give you my blessings."

"Jirou!" Now he stood up, but his friend continued laughing.

"I'm really grateful. All those years I took care of you, tried to help you to move on. But now you don't need me anymore, now she's there for you. And I think she fits you better than I do. My God, since Sharak died I have never seen you so happy again."
"Jirou, wait a se..:"
"I have to go now, Hawky. I'll see you at the ball. I'm so glad to see you happy again."

"Dammit!"

The other one had already hung up. Upset he ruffled through his hair, choking on his breath.

"My, you look everything but happy."

Gnarling approvingly he fell down next to her and leaned against the strong trunk of the old oak.

"Got into trouble again?"

She turned on her stomach and reached for his reddened cheek.

"What have you done this time?" But she looked at him like he was all she loved and all she was proud of, while she held his face with her caring fingers. He let her caress his cheek, because he would let her do everything she wanted, as long as it made her happy.

"Nothing." He murmured and opened the big book about trading history to continue his studies.

"So father was angry about nothing?" She asked ironically and crawled a little bit forward, to place her head on his lap. Her long, black hair spread over his naked knees. "So? What idea was is this time?"

"We just wanted to try if Pippi can swim?" He shrugged his shoulders, but could not hide the dark smirk in his voice.

"The major's cat?" She laughed softly and looked at him like he was telling her the greatest story she had ever heard.

He nodded and started to read.

"So, can she swim?" She asked.

"Of course not." Now he grinned as well. "Jiroushin jumped in to safe her, but that idiot almost drowned because he cannot swim. That old Koumyou had to get them out himself."
"Because you cannot swim as well." She finished his story with a wide grin.

"No wonder father cut loose, Stutter-Cho could have died, you know?"

"His name is Jiroushin, Ji-rou-shin! He stopped stuttering years ago!"
She laughed again.

"Yes, I remember. Back then you got into trouble because you beat up all those kids from the martial arts school."

He grinned proudly and flipped a page.

"If those weaklings think they have to insult a comrade of mine. It is not my fault that their muscles could not compensate what their minds were missing."
He could see how his own view was reflected in her deep eyes, but she stayed quiet.

"What is it?"

"I am so happy that you found a friend."

He did not reply to that. It was not like he thought about that boy from the neighborhood as an actual friend, but he enjoyed to have somebody on a similar intellectual level like himself during the boring everyday life at school.

But he was not in need of a friend, after all he had her.

Only the wind whispered in the trees as the day passed by. He read his book and she lay in his lap and watched the sky.

"Say, little brother." She asked at some point and closed his book. "Do you have a dream?"

He rolled his eyes at that childish question and looked down at her, while she ruffled through his hair. Sometimes it was hard for him to believe that she was so much older than he was. She often behaved like a little child, while he was almost a grown-up.

"You know that I want to become a priest." He answered dismissive, like it was more than obvious.

"But is it your dream?" Her view was unusual serious.

Yes, he had a dream, but he would never tell her. He wanted her to be happy.

"Do you have a dream?" He asked instead.

She nodded. "Of course. I want to travel the world!"

She spread her hands like she wanted to embrace the sky.

"If I join the Navy, then only to use their ships to travel from one island to another. I want to see everything, want to experience every single culture, learn all languages and then I want to meet the people of Ohara and write books with them about all those things I have seen."
She laughed happily. "And afterwards I will continue to travel, to see more, experience more, meet more people. I want to see the world, those small islands here can never be enough."
"A good dream." He whispered and followed her view up to the sky. That sounded like freedom. Freed from political constraints, freed from social expectations, free from familiar duties.

"Do you want to come with me?"

Surprised he looked down at her.

"What?"

"Oh, what am I talking? One day you will be some gorgeous, young man. Girls will surround you like moths drawn to the flame; of course you will have better things to do than to spend all day with your old sister."

He could never understand how she could say something like that. She was the most beautiful person he ever met inside and out and her smile was enough to brighten his day and one of her tears was enough to drown him in desperation. There was nothing he wanted more in this world than to protect that innocent smile. He wanted to protect this pure soul from any harm. She should never have to color her hand with blood. She should never have to meet hatred or anger.

"So what about you? The moment you enter the Navy every soldier will fall for you."
"Little brother." Slowly she got up, a serious look in her eyes. "Would you come with me? Travel the world with me? Visit places no one has ever seen before? Only the two of us?"

For a moment they looked at each other, and then he smiled.

"Of course! I would even join the Navy for you."

She laughed again in her happy voice. The most beautiful sound in the world.

"So it's decided!"

She offered him her pinky.

"We join the Navy and travel the great oceans. We fly to the heavens and sink down to the ground of the sea. Only the two of us. Only you and me."
"Exactly!"

He held her pinky with his own.

"And one day, when we are old and wise, we will search for a disciple."
"A disciple? Why?"

"To give on all of our knowledge of course."
They still looked at each other.

"Somewhere in this world, little brother, someone will be born who is even more talented than we are and when we find this child, we can train them to be a true swordsmaster."

"You mean you will train them tobe a true swordsmaster. You know that I cannot compete with you. I only keep training with you, so you have enough practice."
She tilted her head.

"But you are much better in teaching than I am. You are more patient and understanding. Little Stutter… Jiroushin took so long to understand the basics and you stayed calm the whole time. I wanted to strangle him to death or kill myself because of so much stupidity."

He laughed lightly. "You forget that not many are as smart as we are and if it comes to the art of the sword you are way too emotional. Jirou simply needed a little bit more time, but I am certain that he will become an outstanding swordsman one day." He grinned. "Okay, I accept. We'll do it. Only the two of us. Against the rest of the world. And I will make sure than you will not strangle our disciple to death."

After their little pinky-swear she stayed serious.

"What's wrong?"

"If I join the Navy I will end up murdering people, right little brother?"

Now he was the one to place a hand at her cheek.

"No." Her eyes widened. "Just give me a little bit more time, wait until I am old enough and then I will protect you and make sure that you will never have to kill anybody. Until then stay at father's base, nothing ever happens there."

Silent tears ran down her face.

"Oh, but little brother, I am your big sister. I should be the one to protect you not the other way around."

He flipped his finger against her forehead and she fell over on his lower legs.

"A crybaby like you shall protect me? I am a real man, you know? I can take care of my own."

He grinned at her.

"Okay." She whispered. "Just promise me one thing."
"Of course." He answered without hesitation.

"No matter how mad father is or how unfair the world will be, never forget how to laugh sometimes, okay? It makes me sad, if my little brother looks so serious all the time."

He blushed and opened his book again.

"I want you to smile, I want you to be happy."
"Don't worry." He mumbled while flipping the pages to the spot where he had stopped reading. "As long as you are with me I will always have a reason to smile."

"Oh! You're too cute, little brother!" Gasping for air she jumped at him and hugged him tightly.

In the far distant they could hear the old housekeeper calling for them, slightly worried.

"Oh, I guess it is already time for dinner." She jumped up, her hair dancing in the wind.

"Come on, little brother!"

But he shook his head.

"I'm not hungry. Let's skip dinner today."

He looked at her, how she danced with the wind, swilling around, her naked feet almost flowing over the green grass. She laughed at him and offered her hand.
With a sigh he got up and held her tight as they spun around, dancing small circles. She was still taller than he was, but he was certain that he would grow taller and then he would be able to protect her, just like her smile protected him, guarded him, filled him with happiness.

"Little brother." She whispered close to his ear. "Promise that you will never leave me behind."

He held her even closer, ignoring old Kanan calling them.

"I promise that I will never leave you behind, I will always stay by your side."

Desperate he rushed through the door, out on the balcony, leaning on the balustrade. He had hard time breathing; the fresh air did not help at all.

Emotions overwhelmed him. Emotions, he had buried long ago, he had forgotten.

All those years he had travelled the world. He had become the best swordsman. He had visited all those places. Had lived all those adventures. And now he had found a worthy disciple.

You take not only care of that girl. You care for that girl. You discuss with her, you talk with her. But most importantly, you laugh again!

Upset he ruffled through his messed up hair.

It had been her!

He had kept their promise! He had been there always!

But she… she had left him! She had broken her promise!
First with Nataku! And then… then…

I'm so glad to see you happy again.

He had grown strong, only to protect her, only to take care of her. So she would never have to kill another person, so she would never have to stop smiling.

Because he had needed that smile to survive.

He had joined the Navy to travel the wide oceans.

But she had been gone already. She had left him behind.

Since that day he had forgotten how to smile, how to laugh, how to be happy.

She had left him behind and her smile had been the only thing he had allowed to reach his feelings. Only her smile had been able to reach him. Only she had been able to reach him.

I want you to smile, I want you to be happy.

If her smile had not been able to reach him, he would have never felt that never-ending emptiness, that unwavering desperation, that unforgiving hatred.

That day he had sworn himself that he would never feel again, would never allow himself to feel again. It had been for the best.
He had lived. He had traveled the world. Had been a competent swordsman and captain. Jirou always loyal at his side. The one and only person he had ever allowed seeing behind his mask.

Those had been good times, back then with his crew. Times filled with happiness and adventures. But he had never allowed himself to let go. Not one second he had allowed himself to feel, because then he would have felt those horrible things.

This everlasting pain!
This unbearable grief!

Sharak was death! She had left him behind!

How could he ever be able to think clear again if he had to feel this?

And his cursed tomboy would leave him as well.

After skipping behind his mask, ripping open all those old wounds the other one would simply go and leave him behind. He would not be able to protect him as well.

Roronoa as well would die! Just like all of them!

No.

Suddenly his head interrupted his screaming heart.

He already had lost Roronoa one time! But he was still there. And at that other time he could have killed him, but he had spared his life. He never would have guessed that one day he would teach that child.

If fate did not exist, none of this would have happened. They never would have met again.

Slowly he exhaled and looked up at the sky.

All this time he wanted to guard his sister's purity, wanted to protect her innocence. He never wanted her to see the ugly face of the world.

But Sharak was death. He did not need to protect her any longer from the horrible reality. A reality Roronoa already knew. Rorono knew how cruel this world was. He had seen all this sickening inhumanity, had experienced the suffering, felt the pain. He had ended lives and bore the responsibility. He was strong, in his heart, in his will.

He did not need to protect Roronoa from this truth and his sister had died with a pure heart.

He was free.

Jirou was right. He had changed. No, Roronoa had changed him, had freed him.

Relief streamed through his body.

He was free!

"Here you are!"
Surprised he turned around. Just named child was standing in front of him, hands at hips, head tilted.

"What's taking you so long?"
Apparently the youngster had not notice the emotional hurricane within him.

He watched the calm boy. The beaming eyes, squinted lips. Under this surface was a man who was equal to him, or at least would be some day.

A smile crossed his face. Until that day he would make sure that the light of the other one would never fade.

"What's wrong with you?" The pirate seemed worried as well as annoyed.

"Nothing." He answered and shrugged his shoulders. "I am just happy."