Author's note:
As usual, I start this chapter by thanking all the people who are reading/following/favoriting this story. Of course, I also thank Guest and flutterchaos for their reviews. As for Steinarius' name, I hadn't noticed the possible connection between S.C. and "Stormcloak" - I just picked a name that I liked and that could vaguely suit the character ("Steinarius" sounds both Imperial and Nord, whereas Crepusculus means dusk in Latin). Yet, now I wish I'd thought about that coincidence earlier, so that I could have exploited it along the story :P
As for the future, I can only say that the tough days for Agda and Steinarius aren't over, therefore you should probably expect some more chapters filled with violence and gore. Also, the pattern of this fanfic is about to undergo a big change. Unfortunately, since I don't want to spoil the fun, that's all I can say for the moment.
Anyway, back to the new chapter ;) After the fluffiness of New Life Festival, it's time Steinarius got down to business again, leaving poor Agda alone in the cold winter of Skyrim.
2nd of Morning Star, 4E 202
The day after New Life Festival started out roughly.
Just like many other people who had slept on the floor on the Sleeping Giant, Agda was awoken by a sudden noise and a loud curse. When she bolted upright and looked around the inn, she realized that Steinarius had tripped over Hadvar and landed first face on the floor. As the other guests muttered some complaints and went back to sleeping, Agda sighed and reached for the clumsy Imperial.
Steinarius had a few bruises on his hands and looked totally mortified by the way he had startled awake half of the population of Riverwood. After the party of the previous evening, most of the villagers had namely decided to spend the night on the floor of the Sleeping Giant.
"I'm sorry Hadvar, I'm really sorry", Steinarius told the young soldier he had involuntarily mistaken for a weird, fleshy rug. "I was looking at the fireplace, that's why I didn't see you. Are you alright?"
Hadvar seemed confused by the whole situation. He had a very tousled appearance and clearly needed some more hours of sleep to get past his hangover. However, when he finally realized what Steinarius was telling him, the young soldier muttered that he was fine, then allowed Agda to cast a healing spell on his ribs, which were sore because of their unexpected collision with the Dragonborn's boots. Beside Hadvar, Steinarius seemed unable to stop apologizing.
Before the treatment was over and the tired soldier could go back to sleeping, the door to Delphine's room suddenly burst open. As she abandoned the comfortable bed where she had spent the night, Adaeze looked perfectly sober and relaxed. She was soon followed by Sven, who whispered something in the Redguard's ear and caused her to chuckle. The two of them were wearing only their smallclothes and seemed to ignore the fact that most of the villagers were observing them with curious eyes.
When Adaeze finally realized it, she giggled and tried to cover her bosom with her arms. As soon as her eyes met Hadvar's, however, her amused look immediately disappeared.
The soldier had been taken aback by the unexpected sight of Adaeze's almost naked body. Yet, when he noticed that the girl was with Sven, his surprise was immediately replaced by a strong feeling of disgust.
When Adaeze started muttering an explanation, Hadvar didn't listen: he simply stood up and left the tavern without uttering a single sound. Despite that abrupt leave, Adaeze didn't give up: she ran after the soldier screaming his name and repeating how utterly drunk she'd been on the previous evening.
Agda heard the Redguard's cries, but couldn't make out any answer on Hadvar's part. Nevertheless, when Adaeze returned to the inn, the tears on her face immediately had everyone understand that her friendship with Hadvar was now definitely, hopelessly over.
The people of Riverwood talked about the tussle between Hadvar and Adaeze for many of the following weeks.
After he left the inn, the soldier headed for Castle Dour without even bidding his family goodbye. Steinarius tried to follow him, but decided to leave the boy be when Hadvar reached for his bow and threatened to use his former captain as a training dummy. When she heard the news, Adaeze broke into tears and threw a bottle of mead at Sven, who had burst into laughter at Hadvar's offended reaction.
Prompted by the Redguard' sobs, Steinarius was quick to kick the bard out of the inn and to ask the remaining guests to leave as well. Always chivalric, the Imperial later took off his cloak and draped it over Adaeze' shoulders, so that the Redguard could enjoy some warmth and cover her body. The girl didn't show any reaction to that kind gesture: she simply kept on sobbing while hiding her face in Agda's chest.
Since Adaeze seemed completely broken by what had just happened, Agda spent most of the day by her side. She tried to soothe her and give her some solace, but the Redguard was unable to stop the tears that were running down her cheeks. Given that Delphine and Esbern had already left for the Reach, in that situation Orgnar could rely only on Steinarius' help to tidy the inn.
After midday, when Adaeze finally ran out of tears, Agda led her to bed and waited for her to fall asleep. As the Redguard sobbingly drifted into Vaermina's realm, the young innkeeper felt relieved and headed for the main hall, where she was greeted by Orgnar's exhausted expression.
"I've just sent your friend to chop off some wood", the usually phlegmatic Nord told her with a snort. "He may be a good warrior, but he has no idea how to deal with a broomstick".
Fighting the urge to chuckle, Agda told Orgnar that he could enjoy some well-deserved hours of rest too. She then cast a few spells to clean the floor of the inn and wash the many dirty tankards scattered all over the place. Despite her origins, Agda could luckily rely on a very impressive amount of magicka.
When the sun set, Steinarius finally returned to the tavern. He was covered in sweat and kept a heavy pile of chopped wood in his arms.
As she noticed how proud he looked, Agda felt her heart swell with tenderness and had to fight the urge to hug him.
While they had dinner, Agda and Steinarius could enjoy the perfect silence that was reigning in the inn. Since both Orgnar and Adaeze were still resting, the two of them were the only people in the main hall.
"The townsfolks are still getting past their hangovers, that's why no one else is here", Agda explained. "Moreover, I think that the villagers are now afraid of Adaeze. She has a very good aim: I hadn't expected her to hit Sven right in the head with that bottle".
Steinarius absent-mindedly nodded, then let out a sigh. At that point, Agda realized that something was bothering him.
"It wasn't your fault if Hadvar left", she told him after he sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. "It was dangerous to follow him. And then, he has to solve this problem with Adaeze, not with you".
"I'm not thinking about Hadvar", Steinarius murmured with another sigh. "I'm just trying to find the guts to leave this place and head for Alduin's Wall".
Agda was taken aback by that comment. There she was, thinking about a childish tussle between two people who weren't even a couple, whereas Steinarius was facing the problems connected with being the prophesized savior of Nirn.
"You don't have to leave", she told him after a brief moment of silence. "I know that Delphine and Esbern left during the night, but you can spend some more days here in Riverwood. You could enjoy some time off and…"
"Agda, I don't get to have some time off", Steinarius said with a low and depressed tone. Rather than angry, he sounded simply sad. "A few minutes ago, while you were checking on Adaeze, a guard entered the inn and told me that a dragon killed two people in Karthwasten. I could have avoided it, had I been less selfish".
"Steinarius, you can't prevent the dragons from attacking the villages. You're only human and…"
"That's the rub, Agda", the man gently interrupted her. "I'm not only human – on the contrary, I'm the only one who can kill dragons for good. Given this skill of mine, I should look for those beasts and slay them before they get too dangerous, rather than relaxing in an inn. There's also something else that bothers me: right as we're speaking, Alduin is growing stronger and stronger. I've already lost enough time and I can't afford myself any more idle days. I'm leaving within the hour".
Agda looked at Steinarius' troubled expression, at his tired eyes, at the way his right foot was nervously tapping against the floor. It was strange to think that a few hours earlier that very same man was enjoying a perfect winter night together with her.
With a sigh, the Imperial stood up from his chair and placed his empty bowl of stew on the counter of the inn. He then reached for his room and started preparing for the upcoming journey.
Through the open doors Agda could watch as Steinarius put on his cuirass, as he carefully prepared his knapsack, as he draped a heavy scarf around his neck. When he finally took his sword and strapped it to his waist, the girl felt heavy tears welling up in her eyes.
"You could leave tomorrow morning", she said while fighting the urge to cry. "It is dark outside and…"
Agda didn't finish the sentence. There was a lump in her throat that had her choke on the words and hide her face in her hands. As soon as the first tears escaped her control, the young innkeeper sighed and cursed her damned sensibility.
When Steinarius realized that Agda was crying, he didn't say anything: he just walked up to her and hugged her. He held her close to his chest, then he softly kissed her temple.
"I don't know why I'm crying", Agda sheepishly admitted.
"It's alright, Agds", Steinarius kindly reassurred her. Without breaking their hug, the Imperial forced a sad smile to appear on his lips. "You know, I'll miss you a lot over the next few weeks. You're the only person in Tamriel who doesn't see me as a legend or sends me on dangerous errands just for the sake of ordering me around - and I definitely have to thank you for that, Agda. When I'm with you, I always feel like an ordinary man should".
As the Dragonborn spoke, Agda sighed.
Despite being an Imperial, Steinarius was much taller than her; therefore, at that moment the girl was resting her head in the crook of his neck while keeping her hands on his chest. In that position Agda could feel Steinarius' caresses along her spine, his steady heartbeat under her fingertips, the way his breath softly tickled her forehead.
Thinking that one day Steinarius' heart and breathing could stop while he was trying to save the world made her want to scream a nasty string of insults towards the Divines.
"I'm just a stupid girl", Agda muttered when she eventually managed to steady her voice. "This must be very hard for you, and I'm behaving like a child and making everything even worse. I didn't mean to burst into tears, I really didn't".
"You were influenced by Adaeze", Steinarius joked. "She's cried on your shoulder for the whole morning, therefore it's normal for you to feel on edge. By the way, Agda, I don't want you to be sad because of me. Dragons are big and dangerous and ugly, but I'm not an easy prey".
When he realized that Agda still looked rather unsettled, Steinarius jokingly pinched her cheek.
"Come on, girl, give me a smile", he told her with a light smirk.
The Imperial waited until Agda obliged, then hugged her again and tenderly kissed the top of her head. They remained like that for what felt like centuries, both sad and worried and hoping they could change their destiny. Eventually, Steinarius found the strength to break the embrace, grab his knapsack and leave Riverwood for good.
As he disappeared into the night, Agda felt much sadder than she'd ever had. Moreover, she deeply wished she'd done something to show Steinarius how much she cared about him.
Spurred by the overwhelming shame she felt for her tussle with Hadvar, Adaeze left Riverwood a few hours after Steinarius. As a consequence, Agda soon found herself alone in the little village.
The girl quickly resumed her usual routine, but in few weeks time she started to grow restless. After all she'd been through with Steinarius and the Thalmors, Agda now felt as though her life had sunk into a deep hole made of boredom and dullness and loneliness, a hole where every day was just like the previous one and where nothing interesting ever happened.
As the days became weeks and the weeks became months, the girl realized that she missed Adaeze, that she missed Hadvar, that she even missed Delphine. Her two friends were both too ashamed to return to Riverwood, whereas her former employer had abandoned her to Orgnar's maddening silences. As for Steinarius, Agda had no idea what he was up to and could only rely on the rumors her patrons eagerly exchanged. The night she heard about the Dragonborn's alleged friendship with the Thalmor, however, Agda lost it: she accused the customers of being liars, ordered Sven to stop playing horrible songs about the savior of Skyrim, then hid in her room and started sobbing like a baby.
She felt as though the dullness was making her lose her mind, but couldn't find a way out of the calm life she was slowly growing to hate.
In those long winter months, Agda's only solace came from the spell books Lucan had taken to sell in his shop. They were heavy, dusty tomes with an unpleasant damp smell and lots of stains on their covers. Lucan bought them from the few people who dared trekking through the Nordic ruins of the Hold and was always eager to sell this kind of merchandising to Agda. The Imperial was a strange man, but he was a honest trader: he always offered the girl good deals and never took advantage of her newly found passion for magic.
During her first winter in Skyrim, Agda spent most of the nights awake, reading and studying and practising the spells described by her books. She already knew basic Destruction magic, just like she knew some Restoration spells; yet, thanks to her newly found passion, Agda soon tried her hand at Alteration, Illusion and Conjuration, too. She was a fast learner and was very surprised the first time she effortlessly managed to summon a familiar.
Unfortunately, not even magic could make Agda feel better. After all, there were no spells that could show her whether Steinarius was fine, just like there were no spells that could allow her to go back in time and place a passionate kiss on his lips before he left Riverwood for good.