AN: Quick note, I want to apologize for the long wait for the next chapter of this story, lots of busyness and bouts of lacking motivation not helping to encourage me to write. sadly I'm very indecisive about certain things which makes it that I often need a second opinion on a chapter or I'll be unsure about posting it.

Looking through the journal, Christa couldn't take her eyes off the words written inside it as they held the thoughts and observations of her fellow cadet. They were so detailed and understandable, that she had no issue while reading. Even his earlier entries that she could tell he must have written while much younger, she couldn't help but smile at his notes on recipes learned from his mother, and what held her attention most were the sketches inside alongside the notes. wasting none of the space given in it as he cataloged his life and knowledge. One sketch in the book nearly made her flinch by how much detail was in it, the one Hati had labeled as 'The Armored Titan.'

She almost felt as though she could feel the menace that the monster could radiate from the page as she quickly turned several pages after it until she found more sketches of people she recognized as their fellow cadets. The likeness was almost impeccable as she looked at them while reading the notes of Hati's thoughts and observations which made her giggle to herself. She stopped when she reached a page that he'd her face on it. It was simple but she could tell carefully drawn like the others, but she felt her cheeks heat up slightly while looking at it.

'That's much too pretty to be me, he must be exaggerating it.' Looking at the notes underneath and beside it, she saw his words as he described her as a very kind and caring person. This made her face heat up more as she went to read more when suddenly.

"What are you looking at?" The question made the blonde jump slightly as she quickly closed the journal and shoved it under her pillow in a vain attempt to hide it. She turned around and much to her dread it was Ymir who was leaning down and looking at her in her bunk.

"I-I-I wasn't doing anything." She tried to lie as she felt her face heat up even more from embarrassment.

"Oh really..." Sitting down on her bunk, Ymir leaned closer to Christa and made the latter freeze slightly at the proximity before realizing Ymir's arm was moving past her. "...Because it seems to me you were giggling while looking through this a bunch." Pulling the journal out from under her pillow, Christa made an attempt to grab it only for Ymir to simply stand up from the bed and hold it out of reach. Christa was thankful that they seemed to be the only ones in the barracks at the time as she jumped in an attempt to get the small book back. "Wait a minute, this is Hati's stupid little journal. Did you find it?" The much taller girl asked as Christa nodded as she stopped trying to jump.

"I-I wasn't trying to keep it, I found it outside after Reiner and Bertholt came back with him and I was gonna return it when he was hopefully feeling better tomorrow." She said as she kept her head down as she felt embarrassed for getting caught looking through Hati's journal. After a few moments, she felt the object pushed back into her arms before looking back up at Ymir who has now turned away from her.

"Just make sure you get it back to him tomorrow as soon as possible. He was worried about it earlier and I had to promise him I'd look for it in the morning so he wouldn't try doing so himself." The thought of the boy possibly worsening his condition made Christa worry herself as she nodded vigorously. "She saw Ymir sigh before climbing into her bunk above her own. "Do me a favor and save me the trouble of taking it back." Christa smiled and nodded again as she saw Ymir look at her for a moment over her shoulder before quickly looking away from her and hiding her face. As others began to enter the barracks, Christa once again and, much more discreetly this time, hide the journal under her pillow as everyone started turning in for the night.

The next morning, Christa woke up slightly earlier than everyone else as she got ready and began making her way to the infirmary. Wrapping her arms around herself in her coat as she tried to ignore the cold, and avoid slipping on any ice. Reaching the building and relishing the warmth, she entered slowly as she did her best to move quietly as she saw Hati still in one of the beds. She saw him resting and was glad to see he was breathing steadily and looked less red than the night before. Taking the journal out from her jacket's inner pocket, she softly set it on the bedside table next to him.

Being a bit worried, she looked Hati over for a moment as she raised her hand up to his head. Her hand hesitantly touched his forehead as she felt relieved that she didn't appear to have a fever. She quickly removed her hand as she realized she was touching his face for too long before deciding she should leave.

The following few days felt like boring torture for Hati as he was confined to the infirmary bed. Not allowed to leave or train in any way as the rest of the cadets were getting ready for a winter training hike. The only one that seemed to fully understand his frustration was Eren and Armin to an extent, but the latter expressed that his resting would be better in the long run. Most of the others agreed to various degrees and told him the sooner he relaxes, the sooner he can get back to training.

It hadn't made the waiting any less mind-numbing as he did his best to pass the time. The only thing letting him know that the world wasn't just standing still was the harsh winds outside the infirmary. The closer it got to when everyone would be heading to the outpost, Hati practically willed himself to get better as he didn't want to be more of a burden. Getting on his gear and coat, he felt the building and into the harsh cold as he made his way over to the officers' cabin.

"Is there a reason you're not in the Infirmary cadet?" Hati was staring straight at Shadis as the man looked back with his usual glare.

"I'm well enough to get back to training now. Any more time in that bed makes me feel like I'm wasting time." Shadis looked at him as he finished speaking, looking the cadet in the eyes before looking away.

"Fine, you'll go with everyone else, but if you collapse from another fever because you pushed yourself too hard. That's it. Dismissed." The instructor said finally as Hati saluted and left the cabin, and began making his way to the barracks. A few of the cadets Hati didn't know personally noticed him first as they started whispering, but he ignored it as he made his way to his bunk and was greeted by Eren, Armin, and Thomas. He waved to them as he got closer, Eren looked pleased to see Hati along with Armin before he and Thomas held similar looks of concern.

"Hey, should you really be out of bed Hati?" The short-cut blonde asked as Hati shed his coat to get what he needed packed.

"I talked to Shadis and got permission. I'm well enough to get back to things and I'm not spending another day in the infirmary." He responded slightly roughly before letting out a sigh. Out of the corner of his eye was when he noticed Reiner and Bertholdt talking in the corner and walked over to them. The taller of the two saw him first and smiled upon seeing him.

"Hati, it's good to see you on your feet." Nodding to confirm as he lightly patted his side, Reiner was looking at him slightly more critically, it was similar to the look Shadis had given him, but Reiner's concern was evident as he looked Hati over without moving his head. Staring at the two for a moment before giving them a small bow. Surprising them slightly at him doing so.

"Thank you for helping me Reiner, Bertholdt. For help with training and saving me, I want you to know that I'll do my best to repay you." Bertholdt still looked surprised as he wasn't sure what to say while surprised, Reiner just crossed his arms and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, we're soldiers. We help each other and it's that simple. You don't need to feel like you've anything owed to us." Seeing Hati not saying anything showed the taller cadet that he wasn't budging on this as he thought for a moment. "How about this, tell me something I want to know and we can call it even, okay?" Hati nodded after a moment as Reiner beckoned him to sit with them. Hati took the seat across from the two as they all tried to relax while Hati waited for Reiner to ask his question. "Something I was curious about, we know why Eren and Armin are so determined in training, but why are you?" It was Hati's turn to look unsure as he hesitantly reached for his jacket pocket before taking hold of his journal firmly.

Reiner looked at the small book seriously as Bertholdt was surprised once more, both knowing how important it was to Hati as he carried it everywhere. Once he stopped on a particular page, Hati handed the book over to Reiner while Hati looked at his hands as they shook slightly. The two were surprised as they looked over the page and the sketch inside.

"Is that...?" Bertholdt asked as he went silent, and Reiner's eyes were fixed solely on the sketch of the armored titan on the page.

"My parent's died protecting me. After fleeing past the inner gate of Shiganshina, I looked for them amidst the chaos till it was them that had found me. Not even a moment after that, my father heard bounding footsteps, almost like he knew what was coming as he tried to get me and mother away as quickly as possible..." All three of them were silent as Hati took a moment to take a deep breath before continuing. "...but it was then when the inner wall was broken and debris fell everywhere. One of the bigger chunks fell right on top of us." Bertholdt looked shocked silent as Reiner kept his gaze on the book. "The last moment I saw of my parents were sad smiles as my father threw me as far as he could away before they were crushed in front of me." Without realizing it, Hati had brought his hand up to the scar across his nose as Reiner and Bertholdt could understand how he got it. "I refuse to die until I'm able to find that titan again. But when I do, I'm not sure what I'll do, and after that..." They were all silent again. "...I want to return home and give my parents a proper burial." No one said a word for a short while before Reiner finally closed the book softly and held it out to Hati. Taking hold of it as Reiner's held it, Hati saw him giving him a look of determination.

"Thank you for telling us this Hati. I hope someday you'll be able to do that for your parents. But please don't throw your life away in the process to achieve it." Hati felt a small smile grow on his face as nodded. Bertholdt gave him a small smile as well as he looked down slightly.

"Thank you, Reiner."

This wasn't good.

Making sure Daz was bundled up after they'd stopped for a moment, Hati was checking Daz's breathing as he almost wondered if he somehow gave his fever to his fellow cadet.

"Christa, Let me pull him for a while so you can rest." Hati didn't really give the blonde much of a choice as he gently took the rope from her and began pulling Daz along in the makeshift sled. Christa looked as though she wanted to say something before stopping herself as another harsh wind blew. Ymir watched her as she silently walked alongside. They'd been separated from the rest of the group hours earlier, the snow had been much lighter and it'd been Daz of all people to suggest they try going longer before heading back to increase their score. The young man was in all honesty the cowardly type, but it was understandable as any of the other cadets wanted the chance to be in the top ten and be able to choose to enter the Military Police of the interior.

However, it seemed that Daz put too much confidence in himself for once and it resulted in his current situation as they tried their best to get back to the outpost in one piece in the snow-filled hazy darkness. Now the four of them were in the wilderness as they tried to traverse the snow-covered area. Ymir had been giving Christa a harsh stare the whole time as the sun had long since gone down.

"Even with Hati here, Daz has a foot in the grave already," Ymir spoke up for the first time in the past few hours as they walked before turning her head to the young man. "And you shouldn't even be here and out of a bed. At the very least pulling that idiot or do you want to collapse again and have us drag you along too." She said with clear irritation in her voice as he could feel her glaring into the back of his head." Taking her glare off him for a moment, she looked down at her lantern. "He's basically dead weight and that really only leaves us two options. We leave him here and we can barely make it back, or all four of us die out here." She said while stopping as Hati felt the rope behind him being tugged and saw Christa trying to take it from him. "Well?"

"You forgot one." The small blonde said as she started pulling Daz along despite Hati holding onto the rope as well. "I'll be able to reach the base at the foot of the mountain...with Daz. While you two go on ahead and get back safe while also getting help to meet us halfway." Once again, Christa tried to pull the rope from Hati's grasp to no avail as she was looking almost desperate at this point.

"So is there a reason you weren't asking me or Hati for help? He had to basically pry the rope from your hands." Walking up and grabbing Christa's shoulder to turn her, Ymir leaned close. "You know what I think...you have no intention of saving Daz." This made them all stop completely still as the wind howled around them."

"W-What are you?"

"You don't care. You've resigned yourself to death already." Leaning even closer as Christa turned away from the both of them. Hati caught a glimpse at her wide eyes and perturbed expression. "You're hoping to die here, aren't you?" Hati moved to intervene as Ymir held her hand up to his chest, but didn't take her eyes off Christa. "How could you? I thought you were supposed to be the good girl, I guess that's why your at least doing your best to make it look like you're trying to save him." Hati watched as he wondered why Christa wasn't saying anything when she's been vocal in talking back at Ymir before, but she was just silent. "If you want people to remember you as a hero who died trying to save someone, maybe don't drag him down with you. That'd just make you a horrible person."

That was when Christa seemed to snap out of it. as she turned and grabbed onto Ymir's coat. The two of them saw her expression as it looked like she was nearly about to start crying.

"You're wrong!... That's not...I just..." She couldn't get the words out as Hati moved to place a hand on her shoulder, but he stopped as she flinched and looked down. Hati looked at Ymir, the girl ignoring him as she kept her gaze locked on Christa.

"It's you, right? The mistress' daughter who had people after your life." This caught the blonde's attention as she was even more surprised.

"How did you...?" She questioned as that confirmed it. She looked at Hati with slight fear as she was afraid of what he'd think.

"Don't worry about him, plus we could all be dead in the next hour so who cares if he knows."

"Ymir, what does this have to do with anything?" Hati finally spoke up as he tried to deescalate the situation. "Why should it matter who her father is? What we need to do is get back to base."

"Because this needs to be said, and I've been holding it in for far too long now." Looking back at the person of interest at the moment. "To answer your question, I happened to overhear about you at a church in the interior back when I snuck around to borrow a few things to stay alive." Ymir huffed slightly as she crossed her arms. "Total sob story of an illegitimate child that can't succeed a powerful noble. Many of them just wanted to kill her and end the whole fuss once and for all, but they decided to turn the other way as long as she changed her name and lived a humble life of obscurity melt into the crowd." Hati couldn't help but feel angry that there could be people that cared about such a trivial thing and wanted death upon an innocent child. "In the end, they forced her to join the Cadet Corps. More than likely hoping she'll either end up in the fields or be killed in the line of duty and quietly."

Christa looked like she was shaking at this point as she looked ready to start panicking.

"Don't worry, I haven't told anyone, and don't plan on it. Plus I doubt Hati will either, probably wouldn't even know who to tell at any rate." This made Christa briefly focus on him as he nodded to confirm he wouldn't, which seemed to relax her to a certain extent before looking back at Ymir.

"So am I the reason you joined the Cadet Corps, to find me? Why?" The question seemed to catch Ymir off guard as she looked like she was thinking about it for a moment.

"Who knows. But if I had to guess, maybe it's because we're similar." This caught both Hati and Christa's attention as they looked at her.

"What do you mean, we have similar backgrounds?" Ymir just shrugged at the question as she tilted her head.

"More or less. I don't really know why I decided to become a soldier."

"D-Did you want to become friends?" This really seemed to throw Ymir for a loop as her eyes brighten slightly before she seemed to become more visibly angry.

"Huh? You've gotta be kidding me." Getting in her face again, Ymir got closer. "I doubt there could be a comparison between us. because when I got my second chance at life, I didn't just back down and took a fake name. If I abandon my name and reject who I am, they win. No one is ever going to take that away from me and I'll live my life how I choose what's best for me." Her expression became more determined and angry as her shoulder shook and glared at Christa. "That's the only way I can get my revenge. So how do you explain yourself? Just lay down and die because it'd just be easier, make the ones who ruined your life happy?" She took a step closer as Ymir became even more heated. "Why is it your life that has to die, why do you want that? If you're so eager, put that passion into changing your fate instead of giving them exactly what they want!"

Christa's eyes started to tear up again as she tried to talk but the words couldn't leave her throat before she forced them out.

"I can't. There's no way that all four of us can make it out of here alive." Looking at Daz again, Christa looked ashamed of herself as she looked at him with concern.

"There is," Ymir said simply as she began walking away from the tree line partially shielding them from the snowfall. Christa looked unsure before Hati softly nudged her.

"Don't worry, I got Daz. Let's go see what Ymir's idea is." She nodded as Hati gave her a small smile which seemed to cheer her up slightly before they both started following Ymir. The two then realized she was waiting for them up a slight hill as they went up the small incline and saw there was a cliffside. Hati moved closer to the edge as he saw lights in the distance and put together that it must have been the base camp.

"We're gonna drop Daz off the cliff." Hati looked back at her with shock at her suggestion as Christa looked at her similarly. "The best we can hope is that he survives the fall and someone down there can find him. It might be a long shot, but it's the only chance he's got. Because unless there's some kind of miracle, he'll be nothing but an icicle long before any of us can get him down there."

"But...He'll die for sure if he falls down there!"

"Shut up, this is the only way!" Ymir yelled as she started to walk over to Hati before stopping as all of them suddenly heard a cracking sound. they looked around as suddenly they saw it was around Daz and Hati, but couldn't react as part of the cliff fell out from under them. Rocks and snow fell off the cliffside as Hati held on tightly to the rope secured around Daz as he felt his arms nearly get pulled out of their sockets from the sudden pull and weight on them. He didn't have time to react as he swore he saw a flash as his head slammed against what seemed to now be the exposed rock of the cliff. Holding tight as his arms felt like they were on fire as he struggled to stand up and felt Daz swing below him.

"Hati!" He heard Christa scream as she moved to get up after falling over from the sudden shift of ground. His head felt very hot and wet as he realized his head was now bleeding. The blonde tried to get closer to help him as she took a step and another crack was heard as they all started to realize the part of the cliff they were on was actually ice. The girl was conflicted as she tried to make a careful step closer before being grabbed and pulled back by Ymir.

"That'll just make it worse. Hati you've gotta drop him and get over here." She yelled out as she looked at him with worry. Hati's vision was filled with what looked like sparks of light as he looked over and saw a blurry shape that was the two of them. His mind flashed to old memories as he remembered the blood on his face that flowed from his nose.

"I can't...I won't..."He breathed heavily as he slowly stood up, he could hear the small pops in his muscles and joints from the weight of Daz. " I refuse to let someone else die for my sake again." He said the thought of his parent's faces came to mind as the two wondered what he meant in his delirious state. "I refuse. I refuse." He said as he pulled up the rope a bit at a time till he took hold of Daz's coat. "I won't just give up!" He yelled as he yanked Daz hard and up and over the edge and threw him towards the two.

Christa reached to catch the unconscious cadet before they both tumbled down the hill somewhat. Ymir looked back at Hati as her brief joy melted into despair as she saw him woozily and due to the momentum of his throw fall back as he slipped.

"Hati!" Christa heard Ymir yell as she barely managed to see her jump out of view before she then heard what sounded like thunder and more cracking as she struggled to get out from under Daz. She quickly scrambled back up to the top of the hill as she couldn't hear anything other than the wind. She sunk to her knees as she saw more of the ice gone and neither of them there. She was all alone with Daz.

"No, no no no. They can't be...be..." She couldn't finish her sentence as she felt like she was going to cry. "No, I can't give up." Shakily, she stood back up and walked over to Daz. "I won't give up." Hati's words echoed in her head as she stomped along the snow which Daz close behind her. keeping the lantern behind her to try and keep him warm as her vision was becoming hazier as she shivered. "I...I don't want to die. I don't want Daz to die, I...I..." Christa spoke softly as she shut her eyes and tried to force herself to keep going.

Stopping as she suddenly felt herself bump into something. She felt it first, what stood out immediately was how warm it was. A soft furry feeling of warmth on her face as she opened her eyes. It almost looked like a wall of fur in front of her at first as she suddenly heard a huff and a small gust of hot air blow on her. Her eyes widened as she noticed the wall move as she looked up and saw the largest wolf she had ever seen. She didn't know how to react as it looked down at her, she could think of an exact measurement but she thought it had to have been nearly three times her height.

She didn't know if she should have been amazed or terrified at what she could only describe as a titan-sized wolf. It leaned its head down at her and nudged her chest as that snapped her out of her stupor. The next thing she noticed about the creature was its bright almost glowing orange bordering gold eyes as it circled around her and Daz. Lowering itself down over Daz it shielded him from the cold without crushing him, he looked at her and chuffed while gesturing his snout to the rope.

"Does it...want me to tie the rope around it?" Seemingly understanding her, the wolf nodded as she then proceeded to do so, tying the rope securely around its neck while keeping Daz warm against its chest under it. Lowering itself enough while indicating for her to get on his back as she looked at him somewhat hesitantly before nodding and getting on. Once again felt the heat that seemed to radiate off of it as it began walking through the snow with ease and almost silently beside the crunches of the snow. It was still dark out as it made its way down the mountain quickly in comparison to the pace she was going before. It was still dark when they finally reached the bottom and set her down with the base merely over the hill, but still out of sight of it.

Checking on Daz, she saw that he was much better than before, he still looked sick, but he seemed much more lively than before as his face expressed discomfort of being away from the comforting warmth. She felt the wolf then nudge her to keep going as it looked at her and she looked back. she couldn't help but smile as she reached up and brushed her gloved hand along its face.

"Thank you." Content with that, the wolf turned from her and began walking away as it then sprinted away and disappeared into the woods. Taking a deep breath, Christa pulled Daz along with a renewed vigor as she trudged closer. Reaching over the hill, she saw the lights getting closer as she made out the very early edges of dawn start to creep over the horizon. Outside she could see there were several others outside as she was nearing them, her eyes going wide again as she felt even more energy in her step. Her eyes locked on two people in particular and she was almost running with Daz behind her. One of the others seemed to notice her first as she started to reach them, several running towards her as she felt a smile grow on her face again. She felt one of her feet trip as she almost fell before being caught as looked up to see both Ymir and Hati looking down at her with relief. Everyone else behind them shortly after as a couple tended to Daz. she could barely hear their words as she looked at both Hati and Ymir more. Hati had a bandage wrapped around his head and Ymir looked fine, but she didn't care as she saw they were both alive. She wrapped her arms the best she could around them as the two got a bit flustered, Ymir being a bit more visibly so as they hugged her back.