Dan grinned slightly as Phil entered the room, "Hey.." He said quietly, yawning slightly.
"Oh gosh, did I wake you?", Phil worried as he set the blankets in a chair, "I'm sorry.."
"No, no don't apologize." Dan muttered, resting his head back on a pillow, "It's fine."
Phil nodded as he sat in the chair next to the pile of stuff he had brought back from their apartment, "You still okay?" He asked Dan, looking over at him, looking rather concerned
Dan smiled trying to convince Phil, "Of course I am." He said mentally adding 'I would be better if you would stop being a prat and love me already.'
Phil stood and walked over to Dan, once again sitting by him in the bed, "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" He asked with a slight grin spreading across his face.
Dan shook his head, "Nope, not really. Sleep mostly."
Phil sighed as he pulled out his phone, looking over all the Twitter notifications he had gotten, "Um, maybe you should tell the world you're alright before they kill someone." He suggested awkwardly shoving his phone back in his pocket.
Dan nodded as he grabbed his phone from the table, opening his Twitter. He opened the camera and pulled Phil down to his level for a picture. Once he had gotten one that wasn't completely terrible, he posted it with a caption "I'm not dead, guys. Probably thanks to Phil."
Phil chuckled as he watched Dan post the picture, mentally reminding himself to save that picture later, "That's reassuring."
Dan shrugged as he sat his phone back down, "Well now they know that I'm not dead yet."
Phil smirked as he ran a hand through Dan's curling fringe, fixing it "You look cute when you don't have access to straighteners."
Dan blushed as he put a hand over his fringe "I hate it. Thanks for reminding me."
Phil slapped Dan's hand away from his face, taking it in his own "Stop. You look fine." He said as he rubbed his other hand against Dan's cold flesh.
Dan groaned "You don't have to lie to me, Phil. I do have eyes..." He said trying not to blush deeper at his hand intertwined with Phil's.
"Daniel." Phil said, his tone getting serious, "Don't worry, you look perfect. You always do. Now stop."
Dan shook his head, turning his gaze to the floor, deciding staying quiet was the best way to go.
Phil ran his hand through Dan's fringe again, not knowing what to say, "So...um... what now?" He murmured awkwardly
Dan shrugged "I don't really know." He admitted, "I've been sleeping mostly."
Phil nodded, six days without sleep was probably getting to Dan now, "Well, I got you you're blanket, and I grabbed a couple of sweatshirts, they're all mine but I mean it's better than nothing I guess.."
Dan smiled, "Thanks, um, w-would you mind getting me my blanket? I don't think I can get up yet."
Phil dropped Dan's hand as he stood, "Yeah, of course." He said with a grin as he threw Dan a fleece blanket he had gotten him in Florida some time ago, "I just grabbed one, I'm sorry."
Dan threw the blanket on cuddling into it, inhaling the familiar smell of Phil and the apartment, "No, don't be sorry I love this one."
Phil beamed slightly as he sat next to Dan again, "Good, I'm glad."
The boys talked for another hour before a nurse, a young male, walked in, smiling slightly at both of them, "I'm Jason." He told them, "And I have been asked to kick you out." He told Phil, "But I don't want to kick AmazingPhil out of a hospital room as I don't want my sister to kill me."
Phil laughed quietly as he stood, "No worries, I can leave."
Jason bit his lip, "Um, can I get a picture with y'all and maybe have you sign something?" He asked, "Because in all seriousness if my sister found out I met AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire and didn't do anything like that, she would kill me."
Dan chuckled, "Of course we can." He said, pulling Phil back down onto the bed with him.
Jason sighed in relief, "I'm going to be her favorite brother now. Finally."
After everything got settled, Phil did have to leave. Dan watched him go with a sigh, he didn't want to be left alone for the night. Or at all.
"So good news." Jason said, shuffling through papers, "You're probably going to be released tomorrow. If everything goes well."
Dan nodded, "That's good, I guess." He muttered, taking his phone back off of the table
Jason looked over at him, "You look down, Howell." He stated like they had known each other for ever, "What's got you down?" He questioned, taking the rolling chair away from the counter and placing it by Dan's bed.
Dan shrugged, "Nothing, I'm fine. Just thinking, I guess."
Jason sighed, "Can I go out on a limb here and say that it has something to do with Phil?"
Dan nodded slowly, "A little.."
Jason smiled, ripping a piece of paper from a notebook he had been carrying. After writing something down, he handed it to Dan, "My shifts almost over, but text me sometime." He said, standing, rolling the chair back to the desk, and then leaving.
Dan fumbled with the piece of paper as he read what was wrote on it. He smiled, maybe he could help to get Phil off of his mind. Maybe.
THE NEXT DAY
Phil hadn't slept much the night before. He had mostly just tossed and turned, not being able to stop worrying about Dan. Actually, eventually he had retreated to sleep in Dan's bedroom. Dan's familiar smell had made Phil calm down some, and he finally got a little sleep. Something about Dan these days was making Phil feel more...comfortable. He didn't know why, but just seeing Dan could make Phil calm down.
When he woke the next morning, Phil considered texting Dan, but didn't want to seem too clingy. Not that Dan would mind.. Probably. Phil didn't want Dan to be annoyed with him, so he just waited by his phone until Dan finally texted him
Dan :)- Hey, just got released, grabbed everything. In a taxi now, be home soon :)
Phil grinned as he replied,
Okay, see you soon. Glad everything is okay 3
Phil practically waited by the door, tackling Dan in a hug when he walked through the door.
"I'm so glad you're alright." Phil breathed into Dan's shoulder.
Dan ran his hand through Phil's hair, smiling as he seemed to become less tense, "I'm alright, Phil, I'm alright." He assured the older boy, "And I met someone."
Phil's smile momentarily faltered, but he immediately put his signature Phil Lester smile back on as he looked at Dan, dragging him into the lounge, "Let me make popcorn and then tell me everything."
Dan shook his head as he sat on their couch, watching his best friend run off to food. Sometimes he reminded him so much of a teenage girl. When Phil returned with a bowl of popcorn, Dan started talking, "Y'know the doctor that came in when you were leaving?" He asked as he took a handful of popcorn
Phil nodded "Oooo, he was cute."
Dan blushed, "Well I got his number, and know we totally have a date on next Wednesday."
Phil stuffed popcorn in his mouth, trying to hide the disappointment that his face was cleary showing, "That's great." He said once the popcorn was out of his mouth, "Um, I'm going to go out and run some errands out in town, you're welcome to come if you want.." Phil trailed off, secretly hoping Dan would have something else to do. He hadn't planned to go to town that day, but he didn't expect Dan to get a date with some super cute doctor, and he especially didn't expect to get jealous about it.
Dan shook his head, "No thanks, I've got to catch up on video making."
Phil mentally sighed in relief, "Oh, okay." Phil said as he stood to go get ready, "Have fun talking to your doctor." He muttered, trying not to let too much jealously trickle into his voice.
Once Phil was dressed, he headed out to the rainy streets of London, not actually sure of what he was going to do. Walking around town, Phil couldn't help but notice all of the happy couples. He tried not to let his jealously grow, but he couldn't help it. He sighed as he walked into a little coffee shop, ordering just a regular coffee, he sat in a table meant for two, but not having anybody to share it with. As he sat drinking the warm drink, he couldn't help but think of Dan and that Jason, or whatever his name was. He was a tall, blonde, smart, perfect doctor. And Phil, well he was just Phil. He wasn't confident about his looks or talent or how smart he was. True, he had more than a million fans, who were mostly teenage girls, fawning over his every move, but that didn't mean anything to him. He wanted something real, somebody who actually thought the world of him. Somebody who actually thought he was perfect. He had had somebody exactly like that, but hadn't realized what he wanted at the time.
Phil's thoughts were interrupted by a girl who looked to be in her early twenties,"You're Phil." The girl said, almost in disbelief, "Like AmazingPhil Phil."
Phil put a smile on as he looked up at her "Indeed I am."
The girl beamed "Oh my gosh. I love you and Dan so much."
The boy that had been standing behind her made some noise "Thats an understatement."
Phil grinned a little, his thoughts about Dan momentarily forgotten, "That's great. We always love seeing fans."
The girl bit her lip as she awkwardly held her phone, "Could I like get a picture?" She asked.
Phil nodded as he stood, "Of course."
Once the picture was taken and Phil talked to the girl for a few more minutes, she hugged him and turned to leave, but was blocked as the boy she had been with was now down on one knee in front of her.
"Taylor Eliza." He started, but Phil quickly left before he got any farther.
He didn't need this. He didn't need all the couples in the entire country to be out and happy today. He'd just go back to the apartment and play video games while eating Chinese food on the couch. And he'd do it with Dan. Yeah, Dan would make this better. He always made things better.
Or well.. he always did
When Phil arrived back in the apartment, he was greeted to the sound of giggling coming from the general directions of his and Dan's bedrooms.
"D-Dan?" Phil called out as he walked into the lounge.
Dan walked out of his bedroom, his fringe a mess, shirtless, a rose pink color spread across his cheeks, "Yeah?"
Phil looked Dan over and raised an eyebrow, "What's, uhh, what's going on?"
Dan grinned lopsidedly as he ran a hand through his fringe, "He got off of work early and said he couldn't wait to see me, so..." Dan trailed off looking over at his bedroom.
Phil nodded, trying not to let the envy in his eyes show, "Oh. Right. Okay.. Have fun. I guess." He muttered with a shake of his head.
Dan laughed as he started back to his bedroom, "Hey, Phil." He said, turning back to face him
Phil looked up at him wringing his hands, in the way he always did when he was nervous
"Thank you." Dan mouthed before going back to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
Little did the boys know that that moment would be one of their last happy ones for a long time.
It had been roughly two months since Dan had started to see Jason, and Phil was ready to just move out and let Jason take his room. Not that he'd ever use it. Everyday was the same, Phil would wake up, go to the kitchen, be greeted by Jason and Dan making out in the kitchen because either Jason had to leave to go to work, or he was just getting back, then Dan would retreat to his room, with or without Jason, and Phil wouldn't see him until dinner. Then at dinner, Dan would just smile at Jason, ignoring Phil completely. And it was hell for Phil.
Phil woke up on day, and decided to take a chance. Dan's bedroom door was open, so he stood in the doorframe "Hey, Dan." Phil started one Tuesday as Dan was getting ready for the day.
"Hm?" Dan asked as he ran a straightener through his hair, only half listening.
"I was gonna do a liveshow later, and I thought since we haven't posted on the gaming channel a lot lately, and you haven't posted like at all, if you wanted to do it with me?"
Dan shook his head, unplugging his straightener, "Sorry, can't." He said simply as he went to his closet, and grabbed a jacket.
Phil sighed a little "Okay, have fun with Jason." He muttered as he retreated back to his room, laying face down on his bed, trying not to sob into his sheets. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't just let Dan get away from him that easily.
One thing he had finally realized in the past two months was that he had fallen for Dan. And he had fallen hard. But there was a problem, and his name was Jason. Ugh how Phil couldn't stand him.
When it was roughly 7, Phil texted Dan, whom was still out.
Phil- Hey, I'm gonna do the liveshow in the lounge, so if you come back here, could you be quiet?
Dan- K
Phil sighed in frustration. Now all he could get out of Dan was a 'k'
As he set his laptop up, Phil couldn't help but feel lonely without Dan. He always was there whenever he shot a video, or a liveshow, and even if he wasn't, he knew that he was still supporting him from wherever he was. But not anymore. Nope. Dan was no longer the nineteen year old boy who was endlessly harassing him on Twitter. Dan didn't need I'm anymore. But damn how much Phil needed Dan.
"Hey guys." Phil started his liveshow, instantly being bombarded with questions and statements.
"How's Dan?" Phil read out loud. Dan had made his relationship very public, and not all of the Phandom was happy for him, actually most of it wasn't. They could see how much it was killing Phil. He wasn't as cheerful as he had been previously and it was destroying his fans, "D-Dan's good." Phil replied simply, trying to make sure his voice didn't crack on his name, or that he didn't tear up or anything.
'We're sorry'
'It's alright.'
'We still love you.'
The entire audience had gone crazy trying to comfort him. It's like they could see right through him.
Phil put on a smile as he shook his head, "Guys, I'm fine." He tried to tell his fans.
That was when the door opened. Phil sighed, hoping today would be a quiet day, but there were never a lot of those. Some days were just quiet making out days, but that day defiantly wasn't one. There was giggling and giggling and everybody who was watching Phil's liveshow could hear it.
'Phil, why is there laughing?'
'Are you neighbors fucking or something?'
And that's what pushed Phil over the edge. When his followers could hear and get exactly what was going on, he wasn't very happy.
"Godddamit." He yelled, standing, forgetting about the liveshow he was doing, "I've asked for one fucking thing this entire two damn months and you can't fucking do it!" He stood in Dan's doorframe
Dan looked up from Jason, whom he was on top of, "I thought you were doing a liveshow."
"I was! But then you decided to come fuck in the room next to the lounge, where I told you I would be, and you had to do it so loudly that my entire damn audience could hear you!" Phil yelled, realizing that he hadn't ended the liveshow.
"Well if I bother you that much, maybe I should just leave!" Dan screamed back, standing up, buttoning his shirt.
"Maybe you should." Phil agreed in the same annoyed tone, determined not to cry as Dan grabbed Jason and left the apartment. Their apartment. Well, no longer their apartment. Phil's apartment.
Phil looked around and quickly left, going back to the lounge, where his audience was going crazy. Not bothering to look at the comments, Phil sniffed, "I'm sorry about that guys.. I just- I love him." Phil whispered, his voice cracking as he broke into tears. Forgetting about the audience, he let out what he'd been holding back for two months. "I'm sorry guys, I just- bye." He whispered, ending the video.
That was the first day of misery. Many followed. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months into a year. Nobody could help Phil, despite how hard they tried. His subscribers were more supportive than ever, most of them now mad at Dan, his family tried to help, his friends came by more often, but the one person he wanted to see, wanted to talk to, never came by, never acknowledged his existence. Phil needed the nineteen year old fanboy who would've done anything for him back, but that nineteen year old fanboy was history. Never to return. Never to care again.
AmazingPhil had helped many people through the years, but none of them compared to when he helped Danisnotonfire. His best friend. But.. his best friend was gone. Despite what he wanted.
People told him it would get better, but the pain, the misery, the crying never seemed to stop for Phil. And it was all that stupid fanboys fault, but he couldn't help falling in love with him...
He needed to get Dan back. He wasn't sure how yet, but it was going to happen.
Sometime.
Somehow..
Somewhere...